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What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
by miamivice
Question for you...

When most people don't want to spend money on something, they often say they can't afford it. This is probably an accurate statement for most people to make.

However, Bogleheads are not average, and it's definitely not accurate for many of us. We certainly can afford a lot of things. We choose not to.

The issue that I have is me saying something honest (I don't wish to spend my money on Netflix) would not set well with others. The dishonest statement (I can't afford a Netflix subscription) would set well with others and be easy to relate to, but it's not an honest statement.

I've gone to "we don't have budget for Netflix" which is honest and seems to go over well. I'm wondering what others say?

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:35 pm
by Hayden
It depends on the context. I've used, "it's not in the budget for this year". Or I simply say I'm not interested.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:37 pm
by mak1277
Who, exactly, are you explaining this to? I think the way I would describe it depends on the audience. "I don't have Netflix" is a perfectly acceptable response to a friend who asks if you've watched a particular show. If your spouse or kids are asking you to get it though, it's a different story.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:39 pm
by Da5id
miamivice wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
The issue that I have is me saying something honest (I don't wish to spend my money on Netflix) would not set well with others. The dishonest statement (I can't afford a Netflix subscription) would set well with others and be easy to relate to, but it's not an honest statement.

I've gone to "we don't have budget for Netflix" which is honest and seems to go over well. I'm wondering what others say?
Never comes up. But I wouldn't watch Netflix enough to justify the expense is also a good, and true reason. Mind you I personally have had Netflix in the past, and currently have Hulu, but it is just an example :)

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:40 pm
by 2012heel
Gladwell discusses this in one of his books with how first generation wealth has difficulty explaining to children why they are not purchasing things. The parents of the first generation wealth could say we can't afford it and they understood. But that's a hard sell if your children are aware of your finances, especially if you do not live below your means.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:40 pm
by H-Town
miamivice wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
Question for you...

When most people don't want to spend money on something, they often say they can't afford it. This is probably an accurate statement for most people to make.

However, Bogleheads are not average, and it's definitely not accurate for many of us. We certainly can afford a lot of things. We choose not to.

The issue that I have is me saying something honest (I don't wish to spend my money on Netflix) would not set well with others. The dishonest statement (I can't afford a Netflix subscription) would set well with others and be easy to relate to, but it's not an honest statement.

I've gone to "we don't have budget for Netflix" which is honest and seems to go over well. I'm wondering what others say?
You're nice. I'm very direct. I just said: "I don't want to spend on ____ " or "I'd rather save my money".

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:44 pm
by KeepItSimple78
I'm a believer in being straightforward. My immediate friends and family know that I have savings goals and that I am not one to throw money around. If a particular situation does arise, I usually say that I'd prefer not to spend money (or that type of money) on x,y,z.

If you're not comfortable sharing finances, financial goals, etc... I think what you've settled on certainly seems to be a fine way to respond. "Not in the budget"

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:44 pm
by KlingKlang
To my wife or daughter: Do you think that's worth it?

To anyone else: I'm not interested.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:45 pm
by Boglegrappler
You just say that it doesn't have enough value to you to justify the purchase. That's the truth. We can afford plenty of things that we choose not to buy.

I'll make a side comment and say that as I've aged, I see frugality as potentially part of a controlling personality syndrome. Sometimes the frugal one in the family uses the value or frugality issue to control things in a way that is less unpleasant than confronting the real reason for certain decisions.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:45 pm
by livesoft
"I don't want it."
"I don't need it."
"I'd rather spend my money on something else."
"What a waste of money!"

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:46 pm
by Sandtrap
Variations of:
"I wouldn't spend my money on that.. . . "
"That costs too much. . . . . I've seen cheaper. . . "
"Waste money. . . ". .
My uncle would say "sai chin. . " which would sound like a "wasted life" which is awful. He wore his frugality like a medal.
In Hawaiian, there's gestures and tones that go with "poho" that means total loss and waste of time. :shock:
Then everyone competes for who's the most frugal and it becomes entertaining. Island style.
j :D

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:49 pm
by Grt2bOutdoors
I am not made out of money.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:50 pm
by KlingKlang
Boglegrappler wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:45 pm
I'll make a side comment and say that as I've aged, I see frugality as potentially part of a controlling personality syndrome. Sometimes the frugal one in the family uses the value or frugality issue to control things in a way that is less unpleasant than confronting the real reason for certain decisions.
Given the number of controlling personalities in my family and family's friends I'll try to remember that.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:51 pm
by delamer
My response is "Not my thing."

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:52 pm
by CnC
I think you are reading way way too much into this.


No sane person should need to nor expect someone to say "I can not afford $9.99 a month" likewise no normal person should say I do not feel that the opportunity cost of Netflix is favorable to the potential growth I expect to experience by investing the money.


Simply say I'm not really into XYZ. Or say I enjoy ABC and have never felt the need for XYZ. Those two sentences will answer every question of why you choose not to do something without making yourself out to be abnormal.


Watch,
"Hey have you seen Stranger things on Netflix?"
I'm not really into the whole streaming tv.

"Hey can you believe Game of Thrones is almost over? It's the best show on TV, you watch it don't you?"

I enjoy my shows on network tv and have never felt the need for HBO, I just don't think I would watch it.


Just converse like a normal person.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:53 pm
by Rupert
I don't have time for that.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:54 pm
by ResearchMed
miamivice wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
Question for you...

When most people don't want to spend money on something, they often say they can't afford it. This is probably an accurate statement for most people to make.

However, Bogleheads are not average, and it's definitely not accurate for many of us. We certainly can afford a lot of things. We choose not to.

The issue that I have is me saying something honest (I don't wish to spend my money on Netflix) would not set well with others. The dishonest statement (I can't afford a Netflix subscription) would set well with others and be easy to relate to, but it's not an honest statement.

I've gone to "we don't have budget for Netflix" which is honest and seems to go over well. I'm wondering what others say?
I think the underlying situation would be less "we don't want to spend the money" and more along the lines of "we don't want - or wouldn't use - <whatever>", rather than just "not wanting to spend money".
We are happy to spend money IF it is for something (including things or experiences = don't want to go down that rathole again just now :wink: ) that we want/would enjoy and decided, yes, we'll get/do this...
Otherwise, it's a non-issue.

The reality is that there are countless things we don't spend our money on, and for almost all of them, the cost has nothing to do with it. We just don't want <it>.

Also, I'm not sure we'd say much of anything like this to someone else.
Why would we need to explain this to others?

IF it came up (and I'm not sure how), it would make more sense for us to just say we don't want X or we don't think we'd enjoy X or maybe we don't have time for X.
Why would we be expected to explain it to anyone in financial terms?

ETA: In some situations, perhaps to be more polite or just genuinely, we might say something like, "Hmmm, that sounds interesting. Maybe we'll give it a try sometime," or something similar.
And who knows... we really might :happy

RM

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:56 pm
by TheTimeLord
miamivice wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
The issue that I have is me saying something honest (I don't wish to spend my money on Netflix) would not set well with others. The dishonest statement (I can't afford a Netflix subscription) would set well with others and be easy to relate to, but it's not an honest statement.
I am not sure who you are talking to but I have plenty of friends who are fine and have no problem spending money on what they want that easily say it just isn't worth it to me or even that's too much to pay for that. They do it on everything from prime steaks to eating out to new cars or vacation lodging. I have never given it a second thought because it was their business as usually I just want to know if they are buying something or not, don't really care what the reason is if there aren't because I accept it is their decision.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:58 pm
by CnC
Reading some of these replies: :shock:


Do you people really speak to others like that? In what universe is "I do not have the budget for that." A response anyone would give or expect when asked about a $10 a month streaming service.


When your waiter asks if you want a soda with your meal, Do you tell the waiter,

You are charging $2.50 for a fountain soda. This price is greatly inflated and not a sound economic purchase for me regardless of my financial situation.


Or do you say,

"No thanks. Just water."


While both mean the same thing, one is something only a crazy person would say.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:59 pm
by Da5id
CnC wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:52 pm
"Hey can you believe Game of Thrones is almost over? It's the best show on TV, you watch it don't you?"

I enjoy my shows on network tv and have never felt the need for HBO, I just don't think I would watch it.
Or my version "Yeah, I have it on reserve in the county library system. When it comes out, I get to binge watch it in blueray.". Love the ability to order stuff anywhere in the county library system, there are lots of good libraries around.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:59 pm
by TwstdSista
"No thank you"

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:05 pm
by flamesabers
I think the question of being able to afford something is very open-ended. I consider it more as a figure of speech then as a statement of fact when it comes to expenses that by itself probably won't break your budget.

I usually say something like "it's not worth it to me." Instances of this would be eating at a expensive restaurant or buying the latest iPhone. Technically I could pay for these things without causing an undue financial hardship, but I have different priorities on how I want to use my money.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:06 pm
by quantAndHold
For TV related stuff, "I don't have <something>," followed by "I don't watch much TV" seems to be adequate. And is also the truth.

For practically anything else, some variant of "It isn't really worth it to me" usually covers the bases.

To my family members, though, who might benefit from the purchase, I am not so flip. We have actual discussions about what we as a family want to spend money on. My decision isn't always final.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:10 pm
by Meg77
My dad talks about how much harder it was to say "no" to us as kids and teens once "we can't afford that" wasn't accurate. When he was growing up and while I was very young, "we can't afford that" was the simple end of any pleading or arguing we tried to do to get a toy/McDonald's/whatever. Once that wasn't the case, it took a lot more effort because he felt obligated to rationalize and explain his choices. Some parents would just say "no, because I said so," but he tried to be a lot more thoughtful and purposeful - which was probably a good exercise for all of us. He learned to identify and articulate his values, and we learned how to negotiate and argue and persuade. 8-)

It was helpful though; even when we didn't agree we understood. No TVs or phone lines upstairs, no headphones in the car, no locks on our doors (that one we successfully argued against): these were all decisions designed to get us interacting together as a family. No cable or internet - that was to get us outside and reading more. Everything he said no to (or yes to, frankly), from a meal out after church to a sleepover request was justified and explained if we asked. Now that I think of it, that seems highly unusual. But I guess with four daughters born in 6 years, sometimes the simple truth is the easiest response haha.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:16 pm
by prudent
My go-to is "I don't want ______." In all situations - friends, family, whoever.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:16 pm
by sschoe2
For myself it isn't so much a question of can I afford it as it is a mental conversation:

Do I need it? What will it do for me?
Is it worth losing that much money over?
Is there cheaper yet still sufficient alternative?

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:24 pm
by mhc
I tell my DW, "I want to retire some day and not work forever."

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:30 pm
by Broken Man 1999
The only person I feel obligated to answer such a question is my wife. And, if the purchase is such that I don't want to participate I tell her basically to "knock yourself out, spend your money if you want it so bad." I know if she really wants something that will not be the last conversation. Forty-six years of marriage makes you pretty perceptive to your spouse's real wants.

We are at the point in time that we can afford everything we need, and everything that we want, for the most part.

Broken Man 1999

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:41 pm
by aristotelian
I don't mind just telling people that I am frugal and don't like to spend money. I love to make fun of my car ("worst beater in the lot") and my cell phone ("cheapest Chinese Android phone I could find") as a point of pride. I do have Netflix, though (cheaper than cable).

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:43 pm
by flamesabers
Meg77 wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:10 pm
My dad talks about how much harder it was to say "no" to us as kids and teens once "we can't afford that" wasn't accurate. When he was growing up and while I was very young, "we can't afford that" was the simple end of any pleading or arguing we tried to do to get a toy/McDonald's/whatever. Once that wasn't the case, it took a lot more effort because he felt obligated to rationalize and explain his choices. Some parents would just say "no, because I said so," but he tried to be a lot more thoughtful and purposeful - which was probably a good exercise for all of us. He learned to identify and articulate his values, and we learned how to negotiate and argue and persuade. 8-)

It was helpful though; even when we didn't agree we understood. No TVs or phone lines upstairs, no headphones in the car, no locks on our doors (that one we successfully argued against): these were all decisions designed to get us interacting together as a family. No cable or internet - that was to get us outside and reading more. Everything he said no to (or yes to, frankly), from a meal out after church to a sleepover request was justified and explained if we asked. Now that I think of it, that seems highly unusual. But I guess with four daughters born in 6 years, sometimes the simple truth is the easiest response haha.
When I was growing up I think my dad used both methods. At times he would explain his reasoning for not buying something (i.e. costs too much money, cheaper alternatives are readily available, not a worthwhile investment, etc.) and other times he would say "he who has the gold makes the rules." During one time I did ask him if he would've had a lot more money if he decided to stay single and never start a family. His response was not really. In hindsight I'm not sure if he meant he wouldn't have worked so hard at his job if he only had himself to support or whether he would've had other priorities to spend his money on.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:51 pm
by Tal-
CnC wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:52 pm
I think you are reading way way too much into this.


No sane person should need to nor expect someone to say "I can not afford $9.99 a month" likewise no normal person should say I do not feel that the opportunity cost of Netflix is favorable to the potential growth I expect to experience by investing the money.


Simply say I'm not really into XYZ. Or say I enjoy ABC and have never felt the need for XYZ. Those two sentences will answer every question of why you choose not to do something without making yourself out to be abnormal.


Watch,
"Hey have you seen Stranger things on Netflix?"
I'm not really into the whole streaming tv.

"Hey can you believe Game of Thrones is almost over? It's the best show on TV, you watch it don't you?"

I enjoy my shows on network tv and have never felt the need for HBO, I just don't think I would watch it.


Just converse like a normal person.
For normal conversations, this is great advice. For your kids, it's an opportunity to talk about priorities, savings, budgeting, and the like. If you feel the need to use finances as your out - just say that it's not in your budget and be done with it... it will be interpreted the same as "we can't afford it" but at least it's factually more true.

Or, if you don't feel like acting like a normal person:

"Hey have you seen Stranger things on Netflix?"
Dude - Stop paying for Netflix! You can't afford it!!! After missed returns, $9.95 spent on Netflix today is like $50,000 that you won't have when you retire, and I don't want to be the one supporting your broke butt 20 years from now!

"Hey can you believe Game of Thrones is almost over? It's the best show on TV, you watch it don't you?"

HBO is a Koch Brothers' conspiracy, and when you watch Game of Thrones, the government can see into your living room!

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:35 pm
by bloom2708
Better to say you have no need for Netflix.

If you say you don't have the budget when out to eat or getting drinks with friends, it will ring hollow. As the cost is two drinks.

Better to go down the "trying to watch less tv" route.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:07 pm
by Thesaints
What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?
Not that we would, but we could.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:34 pm
by goingup
This is a strange thread. Someone today was telling me about a show they watch on Netflix. They asked me if I'd seen it. Nah, don't have Netflix, I said. Shrug. No further explanation needed.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:37 pm
by tesuzuki2002
goingup wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:34 pm
This is a strange thread. Someone today was telling me about a show they watch on Netflix. They asked me if I'd seen it. Nah, don't have Netflix, I said. Shrug. No further explanation needed.
Netflix is easy for me.... I don't have a TV...

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:40 pm
by ResearchMed
tesuzuki2002 wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:37 pm
goingup wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:34 pm
This is a strange thread. Someone today was telling me about a show they watch on Netflix. They asked me if I'd seen it. Nah, don't have Netflix, I said. Shrug. No further explanation needed.
Netflix is easy for me.... I don't have a TV...
Yes, but WHY?

You apparently need to explain if you cannot afford that TV. :twisted:

RM

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:48 pm
by Thesaints
One cannot but question the degree of financial success of any BH who even notices the cost of a Netflix subscription, let alone can afford it. How much it is these days ? 9-10 bucks ?

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:53 pm
by retiredjg
"We probably would not use it much so it is just not worth it for us.".

If you can say this in a non-judegmental way, it is both true and non-offiensive. No need to say any more.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:55 pm
by munemaker
miamivice wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:32 pm
Question for you...

I'm wondering what others say?
I say "No thank you."

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:01 pm
by Artful Dodger
CnC wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:52 pm
I think you are reading way way too much into this.


No sane person should need to nor expect someone to say "I can not afford $9.99 a month" likewise no normal person should say I do not feel that the opportunity cost of Netflix is favorable to the potential growth I expect to experience by investing the money.
I totally agree with this.
CnC wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:52 pm
Simply say I'm not really into XYZ. Or say I enjoy ABC and have never felt the need for XYZ. Those two sentences will answer every question of why you choose not to do something without making yourself out to be abnormal.


Watch,
"Hey have you seen Stranger things on Netflix?"
I'm not really into the whole streaming tv.

"Hey can you believe Game of Thrones is almost over? It's the best show on TV, you watch it don't you?"

I enjoy my shows on network tv and have never felt the need for HBO, I just don't think I would watch it.


Just converse like a normal person.
Not sure the last two would be convincing proof of normalness. Almost all of the programming I watch is either Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, or HBO. Probably 90%. Saying you only watch network TV nowadays is almost like saying "I'm not really into television, I mostly listen to radio."

Sorry to the OP for the Netflix / streaming digression. Re your post - I can't honestly recall anyone asking the question, at least in a way that would have caused me to be overly concerned with how I answered. I occasionally get into questions of spending with my two mid twenties daughters, but I have no problem being open with them.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:24 pm
by staythecourse
I usually just tell people I'm cheap. That usually ends the conversation quickly.

The only odd look I ever get is when I tell folks I don't have cable. Then I go on some diatribe of how I like to be a contrarian and buck the system. Again the conversation ends quickly.

Good luck.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
by tesuzuki2002
ResearchMed wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:40 pm
tesuzuki2002 wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:37 pm
goingup wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:34 pm
This is a strange thread. Someone today was telling me about a show they watch on Netflix. They asked me if I'd seen it. Nah, don't have Netflix, I said. Shrug. No further explanation needed.
Netflix is easy for me.... I don't have a TV...
Yes, but WHY?

You apparently need to explain if you cannot afford that TV. :twisted:

RM

Haha Nice one!! I would never actually sit down to watch it. I had a 52 inch TV in my Garage for 4 years in a box... I took it to Goodwill. I hope someone enjoys it.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
by catdude
This is probably a tangential issue, but what do you say when someone really wants you to spend your money, and you don't want to? IOW, when you're talking to a salesperson? Years ago a nice woman came to my door and tried to sell me new windows for my house. The house definitely could've used new windows but I just didn't want to spend the money. No matter what I said in response to her questions, she had a ready reply for it. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I shut the door in her face. I immediately felt badly about it, and couldn't believe what I had just done. It was like the first time I'd hung up on a telemarketer... a feeling of guilt. But when you just don't want to spend the money, and someone refuses to accept that, what do you do?

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:28 pm
by tesuzuki2002
staythecourse wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:24 pm
I usually just tell people I'm cheap. That usually ends the conversation quickly.

The only odd look I ever get is when I tell folks I don't have cable. Then I go on some diatribe of how I like to be a contrarian and buck the system. Again the conversation ends quickly.

Good luck.
HAHA!! I have no problem telling folks I'm cheap!! It's a good way to end a conversation.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:31 pm
by randomguy
CnC wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:58 pm
Reading some of these replies: :shock:


Do you people really speak to others like that? In what universe is "I do not have the budget for that." A response anyone would give or expect when asked about a $10 a month streaming service.

For people on a limited income it is something you hear. And yes 120/year is a good chunk of change for a lot of people.

There are a couple different cases
a) You want the good. You just don't want to pay for it because of a various reasons like value, other uses, or just being a miser
b) you don't want the good
c) you want the good and can't afford it

They are slightly different in how you respond. And of course who you are talking with always matters.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:32 pm
by randomguy
catdude wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
This is probably a tangential issue, but what do you say when someone really wants you to spend your money, and you don't want to? IOW, when you're talking to a salesperson? Years ago a nice woman came to my door and tried to sell me new windows for my house. The house definitely could've used new windows but I just didn't want to spend the money. No matter what I said in response to her questions, she had a ready reply for it. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I shut the door in her face. I immediately felt badly about it, and couldn't believe what I had just done. It was like the first time I'd hung up on a telemarketer... a feeling of guilt. But when you just don't want to spend the money, and someone refuses to accept that, what do you do?
Just say not interested and have a good day. Or just stand there and stare at them until they leave:)

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:35 pm
by ResearchMed
catdude wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
This is probably a tangential issue, but what do you say when someone really wants you to spend your money, and you don't want to? IOW, when you're talking to a salesperson? Years ago a nice woman came to my door and tried to sell me new windows for my house. The house definitely could've used new windows but I just didn't want to spend the money. No matter what I said in response to her questions, she had a ready reply for it. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I shut the door in her face. I immediately felt badly about it, and couldn't believe what I had just done. It was like the first time I'd hung up on a telemarketer... a feeling of guilt. But when you just don't want to spend the money, and someone refuses to accept that, what do you do?
How does someone literally "refuse" to accept a no (unless force is involved)?

I would have warned her that if she continued, then I would shut the door in her face.
Then, if she continued, I would have shut the door in her face.

I don't get that opportunity often, however.
(Chances are, we wouldn't have opened the door to a stranger in the first place.)

But I have had a very occasional opportunity to tell someone on the phone something like "<'whatever' is NOT going to happen> and if we don't terminate the conversation politely NOW, then I will hang up the phone."
If it's reached that stage, it invariably ends with the other person still jabbering away, and my hanging up the phone.
They were warned. I don't owe them any more of my time or my patience.

RM

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:40 pm
by Dottie57
catdude wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
This is probably a tangential issue, but what do you say when someone really wants you to spend your money, and you don't want to? IOW, when you're talking to a salesperson? Years ago a nice woman came to my door and tried to sell me new windows for my house. The house definitely could've used new windows but I just didn't want to spend the money. No matter what I said in response to her questions, she had a ready reply for it. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I shut the door in her face. I immediately felt badly about it, and couldn't believe what I had just done. It was like the first time I'd hung up on a telemarketer... a feeling of guilt. But when you just don't want to spend the money, and someone refuses to accept that, what do you do?

You say "no, thank you" and close the door.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:54 pm
by retiredjg
catdude wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:27 pm
But when you just don't want to spend the money, and someone refuses to accept that, what do you do?
When a salesperson refuses to accept what you tell them, s/he is being rude. You do whatever you find necessary - like shutting the door.

I've also found it effective to just say...."I've already told you twice that I'm not interested. Please don't be rude enough to ask again." If they ignore that, I cut off the conversation using whatever means is required.

Re: What do Bogleheads say when they don't want to spend money?

Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:10 pm
by UncleBen
I can't thoil it.
thoil

Verb
(third-person singular simple present thoils, present participle thoiling, simple past and past participle thoiled)

(Yorkshire) To be able to justify the expense of a purchase.
I loved those red shoes but i couldn't thoil it in addition to the new dress I'd bought.

Read more at http://www.yourdictionary.com/thoil#AHzgYAfrwx7qsscf.99