Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

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LeSpy
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Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by LeSpy » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:03 pm

Hi all,

I am currently unmarried and in a long-term relationship. I live in a condo that I own while she lives with her parents.

I'm not sure if we're going to get married.

She recently mentioned that she would like us to buy a home together.

What are the pitfalls to purchasing a home together with a girlfriend?

Thanks,

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flamesabers
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by flamesabers » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:06 pm

Hello,

There are a few threads on this topic already:

Unmarried couple purchasing a home?

viewtopic.php?t=218150

Buying a house with a partner, not married:

viewtopic.php?t=136169

Unmarried couple buying a house together

viewtopic.php?t=68628

Home ownership for unmarried couple

viewtopic.php?t=184061
Last edited by flamesabers on Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

investing1012
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by investing1012 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:07 pm

LeSpy wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:03 pm
Hi all,

I am currently unmarried and in a long-term relationship. I live in a condo that I own while she lives with her parents.

I'm not sure if we're going to get married.

She recently mentioned that she would like us to buy a home together.

What are the pitfalls to purchasing a home together with a girlfriend?

Thanks,
Biggest pitfall is that if you break up you'll still own the condo together. She may not be willing to sell and so you'll still have to communicate with her after the break up. Also if she becomes vindictive she can make your life very difficult because she owns that property with you. I highly discourage owning a property with someone who you dont plan on staying with for the rest of your life.

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sergeant
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by sergeant » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:07 pm

What do you mean by long term? Is she coming in with half the down payment? Is the home an investment property or are you going to live in it? Are you both financially fit? Do you want to live with her? Have you discussed this in detail with her? What is the exit strategy?
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investing1012
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by investing1012 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:07 pm

flamesabers wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:06 pm
Hello,

There are a few threads on this topic already:

Unmarried couple purchasing a home?

viewtopic.php?t=218150

Buying a house with a partner, not married:

viewtopic.php?t=136169

Unmarried couple buying a house together

viewtopic.php?t=68628
Wow, even better :)

Rupert
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Rupert » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:08 pm

Another pitfall is you may have to sell the house in a hurry and at a loss if you break up. I would keep it simple and rent a house together until the ink is dry on the marriage license, then buy.

vbn
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by vbn » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:22 pm

When I was thinking of buying an investment property with my siblings, my loan officer/mortgage broker said that we should set up some equity sharing agreement (e.g. sharing benefits but also tax and repairs/maintenance as well). Maybe you can look into that if you really want to buy a house with your girlfriend. I personally would not.

123
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by 123 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:28 pm

Buying property in partnership with someone else can be tricky and result in problems. If one person has a lot of money and/or a good income and the other person has no assets/no income generally the person with no assets/no income will come out ahead, they have nothing to loose.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

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bottlecap
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by bottlecap » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:33 pm

You don't know if you are going to get married, so there are three likely outcomes:

1. You get married; or
2. You break up and you hate her; or
3. You break up and she hates you; or
4. You break up and you pine for her; or
5. You break up and she pines for you; or
6. You break up and get along, but no longer want to live with each other.

The only situation that is a good situation is number 1. In all the other situations, owning a house together will be difficult. In many of the other situations, it will be a nightmare.

You are better off waiting until you are committed to each other forever, marriage or not, before setting a course for a likely headache.

Good luck,

JT

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David Jay
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by David Jay » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:47 pm

123 wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:28 pm
Buying property in partnership with someone else can be tricky and result in problems.
^^^ This

Not making any value judgement on your situation. You don't want to do this with your Dad, your Girlfriend, your Brother, or your Best Friend.
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:55 pm

Don't. If you've ever been financial partners with someone else, sometimes things go smoothly and sometimes they don't. It's the times where things don't that you wish you had ever agreed to becoming hog-tied.
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financeidiot
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by financeidiot » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:03 pm

Why can't she move into your condo and pay rent?

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Raybo
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Raybo » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:09 pm

My niece did this and now that she and her co-owner have split, she is back with her parents while the ex-boyfriend has a renter. She is still liable for everything but they have an agreement in place that he will buy her out. This cost plenty in lawyers to draw up.

My suggestion is to have a frank talk with your girlfriend (and her parents) about what agreement you will come to about the property if you split up. Do this in advance when you are on good terms instead of waiting until things go bad.

Be aware that this might end your relationship no matter how you decide to proceed!
No matter how long the hill, if you keep pedaling you'll eventually get up to the top.

b.lock
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by b.lock » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:10 pm

If you are unsure, I would talk to a lawyer. Better yet, talk to two lawyers: one for you and one for her. This will cost a few hundred bucks, each. They'll help you come up with a plan in case things go south, and you'll have everything in writing. This is similar to what my girlfriend and I did. If you are both committed, it shouldn't be any riskier than purchasing a home with someone you are married to. It's not like marriage prevents people from splitting up.

And I may be going off topic at this point, but I would say purchasing a home with someone is at least as large of a commitment as marriage; nothing says commitment like a 30 year mortgage :P

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CaliJim
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by CaliJim » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:12 pm

Buying a home together when married can be tricky enough, divorce rates being what they are.

So...no... don't do it, until, if and when, you tie the knot.

The next question becomes: If she moves into my condo with me, should I charge her rent? IMO, yes, absolutely. After all, you wouldn't want her thinking: he is paying my expenses in exchange for 'certain privileges'. She's not that type of girl! Keep things fair and equal and don't turn love into a conditional, transactional, thing. She would not be 'helping you pay the mortgage in exchange for a slice of equity'. She would be paying what she would pay any landlord for the privilege of getting out of her parent's place. If you stick together.... it all comes out even in the end. If she doesn't, then you can split on fair and equal terms with no hard feelings either way.

*and I agree w/ b.lock - talk to two lawyers if you do decide to do it.
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Meg77
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Meg77 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:13 pm

If she lives with her parents then I take it she does not have or earn much money - otherwise she'd be renting or owning her own living space. If that is the case then it makes no sense for you guys to buy a home together. If you want to live together, simply own the property in your name and let her live there for free or pay some of the bills if she can afford to (utilities, groceries, and so on). But it keeps things a lot easier to have the home and mortgage in your name only if things go south - or even if they don't. And things can go south in more ways than just a divisive breakup. Death, disability, drug addition just to name a few. Keeping finances separate is advisable if you aren't legally bound either through marriage or through some kind of detailed partnership agreement at least which spells out what happens in all sorts of events.
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Pajamas
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Pajamas » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:37 pm

If she thinks you ought to buy a place together, that is another way of saying that she wants a long-term relationship. If you also want a long-term relationship, then you should consider defining and formalizing your relationship to one degree or another even if you don't want to get a religious or legal marriage.

A marriage is a form of contract and there are many laws covering various aspects of it. If you are not married, defining that relationship legally is necessarily more piece-meal.

You should also understand what constitutes a common-law marriage in your state so you can avoid it if you don't want to be married.

There are plenty of resources and books about issues unmarried couples might encounter. Here's an example.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/living-together

Since you own and live in your own condo, however, it's not clear to me either why she doesn't just move in with you instead of wanting to buy a place together. It seems like that might be important.

What you definitely don't want to do is buy a house together without addressing the issues in advance.

chevca
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by chevca » Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:56 pm

Why not try living together first to see if you can stand each other? You have a condo, so the possibility is there already.

It sounds like a different relationship and I'm guessing most of us can't wrap our minds around... a long term relationship already, maybe marriage/maybe not, there's talk of buying a house together, and she's been living with her parents all this time?? How's that work?

I'd say, no, don't buy a house together.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:02 pm

I'd like to show both sides of the story in one story which is from my own life.

My fiance and I bought our first house (Bogleheads didn't exist then, otherwise, I would have asked......as if).

The unmarried couple we bought the house from had bought the house to fix up and then settle down and get married. Things didn't work out. They hated each other. But they both had to live together in the house (in different rooms) because they couldn't afford to pay for another place as they were too stretched with the mortgage and bills from the upgrading.

It turned out fine in that my fiance and I got married and the couple received their check.....did whatever they did with it and went on their separate ways.

This was in a super hot seller's market where houses were selling over asking within hours of listing (Boston in 1986). If this had been a normal market, the house never would have met the value needed for them to be able to get out.
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TropikThunder
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by TropikThunder » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:08 pm

Pajamas wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:37 pm
You should also understand what constitutes a common-law marriage in your state so you can avoid it if you don't want to be married.
Meg77 wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:13 pm
If you want to live together, simply own the property in your name and let her live there for free or pay some of the bills if she can afford to (utilities, groceries, and so on). But it keeps things a lot easier to have the home and mortgage in your name only if things go south - or even if they don't.
Good points, but one does have to be careful. Most lenders require unmarried borrower(s) to sign an affidavit attesting to the presence or absence of a common-law-marriage situation, since some states give equal property rights to the unmarried partner. If the property is in a state that requires equal property rights, the lender can require the unmarried partner to be on the loan and title whether the primary borrower wants them to or not.

TylerS7
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by TylerS7 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:16 pm

When you say she wants you to buy a house together are you implying that you are both contributing to a down payment, both listed on the mortgage, and both listed on the deed as owners? I would hesitate doing that. My girlfriend (also "long term") and I bought a house together, but it was my downpayment, my name on the mortgage, my name as the owner. She pays me rent monthly for half the mortgage and half of the bills. She knows it's not her house legally, I didn't have her sign a renters agreement and get renters insurance (I put her on the homeowners insurance) but I suppose I could/should. We just aren't litigious people.

Anyways, in the terrible small chance we break up and she moves out I will be more worried about my emotions than the house. I guess I would lose all the furniture she paid for, but I can afford the mortgage and other bills solo just fine. In that situation I would probably just get the house ready to sell whenever it was a good time because I wouldn't want to live here anymore anyways.

Hope this anecdote is informational and a benefit, maybe you and your girlfriend are in a position for a similar arrangement.

THY4373
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by THY4373 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:33 pm

I would think long and hard about this. I would only do it if there were a legal agreement between you and the girlfriend covering most contingencies. Things such as can one party force the sale of the property. What happens if you break up, etc. It is not something I would do unless I was sure I was in a real long term relationship with the person and even then I'd make sure you were both covered legally. As others have said maybe try having her live at your condo or rent it out and rent a house if you both want space or something. At least test living together before buying a place together.

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Watty
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Watty » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:40 pm

bottlecap wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:33 pm
You don't know if you are going to get married, so there are three likely outcomes:

1. You get married; or
2. You break up and you hate her; or
3. You break up and she hates you; or
4. You break up and you pine for her; or
5. You break up and she pines for you; or
6. You break up and get along, but no longer want to live with each other.

The only situation that is a good situation is number 1. In all the other situations, owning a house together will be difficult. In many of the other situations, it will be a nightmare.

You are better off waiting until you are committed to each other forever, marriage or not, before setting a course for a likely headache.

Good luck,

JT
+1


An additional problem is that I have seen more than one relationship fail when the couple moved in together before marriage. Living with someone is much different than dating them. If you are married when you move in together there is a lot of incentive to work things out as you learn to live with each other.

Even signing a year long lease on an apartment can cause problems if you break up.

There is likely a good reason that you are not ready to get married and that does not mean that the relationship will not get there but the same reasons would also be reasons to not buy property together.

aristotelian
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by aristotelian » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:49 pm

Could you afford the place on your own if things go south and you get stuck with it?

Jillian
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Jillian » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:58 pm

It's a terrible idea to get finances mixed if you aren't married.

I've seen relationships like that blow up and it gets incredibly ugly. Someone in the relationship is always going to be a larger contributor and then when any sort of 50/50 split comes down, someone gets shafted.

You also don't want a financial obligation to push you into getting married or keep you from breaking up.

Don't do it.

Stupendous
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Stupendous » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:16 pm

I think it's funny how people think being married magically makes things better while buying a house together.

If you divorce and she's vindictive she can still make your life hell. At least if you aren't married she can't go after your retirement accounts.

A marriage is a contract between 2 people and the government. It isn't a lifetime commitment.

To me the big red flag is she lives at home but we also don't know her age.

goingup
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by goingup » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:25 pm

LeSpy wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:03 pm
I am currently unmarried and in a long-term relationship.
Many, many young people today choose to live together, buy homes together, have children together and never marry. I'd think you'd want to co-habitate for awhile before buying a home together, though.

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SquawkIdent
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by SquawkIdent » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:36 pm

What did your lawyer advise you to do?

Seriously, I would contact a lawyer and get their take on this situation.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Sandtrap » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:36 pm

David Jay wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:47 pm
123 wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:28 pm
Buying property in partnership with someone else can be tricky and result in problems.
^^^ This

Not making any value judgement on your situation. You don't want to do this with your Dad, your Girlfriend, your Brother, or your Best Friend.
++++1

crosley
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by crosley » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:46 pm

Stupendous wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:16 pm
I think it's funny how people think being married magically makes things better while buying a house together.

If you divorce and she's vindictive she can still make your life hell. At least if you aren't married she can't go after your retirement accounts.

A marriage is a contract between 2 people and the government. It isn't a lifetime commitment.

To me the big red flag is she lives at home but we also don't know her age.
The difference is, you're already legally and financially tied together when you're married.

If you're just in an unmarried relationship and break up, it's largely just an "emotional" situation that doesn't lawyers and judges.

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randomizer
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by randomizer » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:47 pm

I wouldn't do it. Get married one day and maybe then. No hurry to buy a house.

msk
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by msk » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:09 pm

Me thinks girl wants to get married, boy does not. House purchase is by far a smaller problem :confused

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StevieG72
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by StevieG72 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:17 pm

Terrible idea!
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by mlebuf » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:26 pm

Not a good idea. Think this through. One possible scenario: You buy a home together but are not married. The relationship ends and you both own the property. You meet someone new and you want to marry her, but you are carrying unnecessary financial baggage from a previous relationship.

I have a friend whose girlfriend wanted him to buy her a house. She planned to invest none of her own money. My friend politely declined and is now happily married to another woman.

Love may be blind but it doesn't cause brain damage.
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by White Coat Investor » Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:12 pm

Buy a house when your employment and social situations are stable. Having a girlfriend that you don't know if you'll marry or not is certainly NOT a stable social situation. Not only would I not buy a house with her, I wouldn't buy one at all!

If you'd asked me if you should buy a condo while dating someone seriously enough that you'd consider marrying I'd recommend against that too. Because what happens? You get married, maybe have kids, she doesn't like the condo, you outgrow it and now you're home shopping before you've been in the house long enough for appreciation to make up for the transactional costs.

What's the big rush? Seriously. I've owned three homes in my life- 4+ years, 9+ years, and now 7 years. I'm only ahead on one of them, and even that isn't final yet. Homeownership isn't some awesome way to have a great life or make tons of money. It's just a housing decision. Don't rush it.
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slowbutsteady
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by slowbutsteady » Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:28 pm

Almost always a bad idea. Avoid the unessessary complications this will most likely result in.
Last edited by slowbutsteady on Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 8:28 pm

I had a coworker who bought a house with her boyfriend. Then they broke up. She bought home a different boyfriend every night. She would have moved out if they did buy the place together. I think it's uncomfortable to think about it. Same as dating people at work. I wouldn't do it. Think of what happens if things don't work out.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by mister_sparkle » Fri Sep 08, 2017 9:53 pm

Don't do it. Trust me. :happy

dekecarver
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by dekecarver » Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:06 am

Don't do it! Just show her that you love her and let her live with you for free:) If you get married then buy together.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Jags4186 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:11 am

Stupendous wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:16 pm
I think it's funny how people think being married magically makes things better while buying a house together.

If you divorce and she's vindictive she can still make your life hell. At least if you aren't married she can't go after your retirement accounts.

A marriage is a contract between 2 people and the government. It isn't a lifetime commitment.

To me the big red flag is she lives at home but we also don't know her age.
At the very least marriage gives a system to how to split things up should things go wrong. The government doesn't really care about how two people living together split things up if there's a breakup. As far as they're concerned you're "playing house."

Dandy
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Dandy » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:12 am

Joint ownership with a business partner, family member or friend can have many issues. Add the complications of love/relationship, break up and it probably increases the complexity/risk a lot. My observation/guess is that the longer the long term relationship goes without an engagement the more likely there will be trouble. Of course there are many exceptions but many times one party wonders why am I not good enough to make a commitment? If you both want to live in a house not an apartment then rent a house. Don't assume that home ownership is some fantastic investment that you are missing out on. Over the long run it usually it isn't -- with wild exceptions.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Rose » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:50 am

Meg77 wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:13 pm
And things can go south in more ways than just a divisive breakup. Death, disability, drug addition just to name a few. Keeping finances separate is advisable if you aren't legally bound either through marriage or through some kind of detailed partnership agreement at least which spells out what happens in all sorts of events.
This. Low probability event, but you are highly unlikely to be able to decide then.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Tamarind » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:52 am

Watty wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:40 pm
bottlecap wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:33 pm
You don't know if you are going to get married, so there are three likely outcomes:

1. You get married; or
2. You break up and you hate her; or
3. You break up and she hates you; or
4. You break up and you pine for her; or
5. You break up and she pines for you; or
6. You break up and get along, but no longer want to live with each other.

The only situation that is a good situation is number 1. In all the other situations, owning a house together will be difficult. In many of the other situations, it will be a nightmare.

You are better off waiting until you are committed to each other forever, marriage or not, before setting a course for a likely headache.

Good luck,

JT
+1


An additional problem is that I have seen more than one relationship fail when the couple moved in together before marriage. Living with someone is much different than dating them. If you are married when you move in together there is a lot of incentive to work things out as you learn to live with each other.

Even signing a year long lease on an apartment can cause problems if you break up.

There is likely a good reason that you are not ready to get married and that does not mean that the relationship will not get there but the same reasons would also be reasons to not buy property together.
I think moving in together is a great way to road test a relationship before marriage. If it ends, well that was the point. Fiancee and I moved in together 4 years into our 8 years together, getting married next spring. Clearly we are not in a hurry. But we will not own property in common until after the marriage.

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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by ClevrChico » Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:00 am

I would not buy a single family home until I was married with multiple kids. If you were married with twins, a 2 BR condo would be sufficient for years.

halfnine
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by halfnine » Sat Sep 09, 2017 3:13 pm

I haven't seen it mentioned but it's a possibility that she lives at home so she can save up money for a down payment. If this is the case living with the boyfriend gets her further away from home ownership while concurrently increasing her boyfriends net worth. When I was in a long term relationship with a significant other I was none to pleased to be paying rent to my significant other since I could have bought my own place and rented them out a room instead. To demonstrate my point I offered to buy their place and rent a room out to them instead. Now, obviously, that didn't fly over very well. Ultimately, we (non married) bought a house together. Although, we separated and sorted out the house, I wouldn't recommend that route.

My recommendation, let her move in rent free and see how that goes for a while. It's no more cost to you then it is right now.

michaeljc70
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by michaeljc70 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:11 pm

No. There are many reasons, most already listed.

I've done it. Relationship ended 1 year later and I was stuck selling a place in a bad market or keeping a house I never would have bought for myself and uprooting everything for the 2nd time in a year.

My Brother did this. They broke up but the house is underwater so they don't want to sell. She stopped paying utilities. She lost her job for a period and stopped paying the mortage. My brother had to make up the difference. She is listed first on the mortgage and takes the tax deduction for interest. My brother put the whole down payment. Nightmare.

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DaftInvestor
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by DaftInvestor » Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:13 pm

I purchased my first home with my girlfriend but she was also my fiance. 25 years later we are still married (not still in that same first house though).

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HomerJ
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by HomerJ » Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:28 pm

LeSpy wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:03 pm
I'm not sure if we're going to get married.
That's what YOU think.
She recently mentioned that she would like us to buy a home together.
She's planning on you two getting married.

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Raymond
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Location: Texas

Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by Raymond » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:28 pm

HomerJ wrote:
Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:28 pm
LeSpy wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:03 pm
I'm not sure if we're going to get married.
That's what YOU think.
She recently mentioned that she would like us to buy a home together.
She's planning on you two getting married.
Hahaha! Exactly!

OP, you said this is a "long-term relationship". How many years have you been together?

My wife read this thread and said, "She's laying her cards out, and this is her way of asking, 'Where are we going with this relationship?'"

-----

I was in a car with a friend and his girlfriend several years ago.

They had been together for five years.

She says, "We're thinking of buying a house together."

He says, "What's this 'we' (feces)?"

Dead silence.

Temperature in the car dropped to below freezing.

I just wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and sing "Lalalala!" as loud as possible, or that failing, throw myself out the door at 70 mph onto the freeway, it was that awkward.

They broke up a few months later.
"Ritter, Tod und Teufel"

ThePrince
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Re: Purchasing Home With Girlfriend; Good or Bad?

Post by ThePrince » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:51 pm

bottlecap wrote:
Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:33 pm
You don't know if you are going to get married, so there are three likely outcomes:

1. You get married; or
2. You break up and you hate her; or
3. You break up and she hates you; or
4. You break up and you pine for her; or
5. You break up and she pines for you; or
6. You break up and get along, but no longer want to live with each other.

The only situation that is a good situation is number 1. In all the other situations, owning a house together will be difficult. In many of the other situations, it will be a nightmare.

You are better off waiting until you are committed to each other forever, marriage or not, before setting a course for a likely headache.

Good luck,

JT

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