Anyone else have trouble spending?

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Bacchus01
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Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

This is more of an emotional rant, but I'm curious if other people have as much trouble spending and why that is.

Current example. I drive a 2012 CPO BMW 528i XDrivr. Bought in 2014 with 18k mikes. It recently had a significant issue, covered under warranty, but is at 95k miles and about to run out of the CPO warranty. I commute 110 miles round trip every day. Car had been fantastic, but I need reliable and safe transportation every day and so I'm going to get a newer vehicle.

Because of lifestyle, I'd like an SUV. The current Grand Cherokee with V6 and 8 speed are getting very good mpg for a mid size SUV. I've owned three in the past and loved them all.

I found a 2017 locally that has just 4K miles on it, only 4 months old. Fully loaded with every option on a Trail Hawk. Still under full warranty. $11K under sticker and $5K under best discounted price on a new unit anywhere in the country! It's perfect. Dealer offered me the high end of trade in value on my BMW.

And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
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Alexa9
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Alexa9 »

Car purchases are the 2nd largest purchase you make. Some people spend more on cars in their lifetime than their house. Haggling with dealers can be stressful and annoying. However, most people have to have transportation so it is a need more than a want. Jeep has questionable reliability lately. Have you looked at the Honda Pilot & Toyota Highlander? However you should get the vehicle you want. The most economical way to own a car is to drive it for at least 10 years. Dealers almost always make a good amount of money so selling and buying private party are a good way to save money.
Last edited by Alexa9 on Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

Alexa9 wrote:Car purchases are the 2nd largest purchase you make. Some people spend more on cars in their lifetime than their house. Haggling with dealers can be stressful and annoying. However, most people have to have transportation so it is a need more than a want. Jeep has questionable reliability lately. Have you looked at the Honda Pilot & Toyota Highlander? However you should get the vehicle you want.
Wouldn't even consider a Honda and I would t be caught dead driving a Highlander.

Biggest issue is that neither has a tow rating even close to the Jeep.
Nowizard
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Nowizard »

I suspect most anyone with a long commute would focus on the need for reliable transportation and all the related issues of time, traffic, concerns about other drivers, etc. Though you have high income, that is a pretty significant trade-off. The vehicle you are considering is popular, but it does not have great ratings for the reliability concern you stated.

Tim
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Alexa9
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Alexa9 »

Bacchus01 wrote:Wouldn't even consider a Honda and I would t be caught dead driving a Highlander.

Biggest issue is that neither has a tow rating even close to the Jeep.
I would say likewise to a bummer and a Fix It Again Tony FIAT.
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by bloom2708 »

The 110 mile daily commute would be my only focal point.

A Jeep won't last long under that stress. No car will. Maybe a Volt or Bolt?
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michaeljc70
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by michaeljc70 »

You bought a 5 series BMW and think you have trouble spending? Obviously relative to your income that isn't a lot, but it isn't exactly a cheap car either. If you made $400k and were driving a 2003 Corolla I'd say you have trouble spending.

The Jeep has to be less expensive than the BMW, so why the anxiety? Maybe there is another issue other than cost.
Last edited by michaeljc70 on Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

Nowizard wrote:I suspect most anyone with a long commute would focus on the need for reliable transportation and all the related issues of time, traffic, concerns about other drivers, etc. Though you have high income, that is a pretty significant trade-off. The vehicle you are considering is popular, but it does not have great ratings for the reliability concern you stated.

Tim
Doesn't address my question.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

michaeljc70 wrote:You bought a 5 series BMW and think you have trouble spending? Obviously relative to your income that isn't a lot, but it isn't exactly a cheap car either. If you made $400k and were driving a 2003 Corolla I'd say you have trouble spending.
Well, in perspective I paid about $36K for the BMW and $37K for the Jeep. I realize those aren't Corolla numbers, but understand that the average new price for a car sold right now is $33,560. So....
Mrxyz
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Mrxyz »

Hi,
I have similar problems!! I am stingy in many things despite high net worth and will not post most of the details.
The question for you is probably to do with safety instead of saving money.
110 miles commute ! - what vehicle will you feel safer/safest in? If you feel you are okay with an older car - so be it. If not, make the change to a younger, newer more expensive car/SUV. And you don't have to spend a ton of money either. Think about how much you spend on insurance- a safer car is a form of insurance.
Your question - perhaps, just perhaps. your anxiety has to do with past experiences- like if someone was very poor growing up, they may remain stingy all their lives. That is true for me.
Anxiety has nothing to do with whether you can or cannot afford something!!
All the best!
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ResearchMed
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by ResearchMed »

Bacchus01 wrote:
michaeljc70 wrote:You bought a 5 series BMW and think you have trouble spending? Obviously relative to your income that isn't a lot, but it isn't exactly a cheap car either. If you made $400k and were driving a 2003 Corolla I'd say you have trouble spending.
Well, in perspective I paid about $36K for the BMW and $37K for the Jeep. I realize those aren't Corolla numbers, but understand that the average new price for a car sold right now is $33,560. So....
You do realize that the average family income is a fraction of yours, right?

:happy

You need reliable transportation. You also deserve to be comfortable during long commutes.

Assuming you have nice savings under way... can you try to start enjoying just a bit?
Just because you buy a nice car for long commutes... that doesn't mean you are squandering money like crazy.
Your title indicates quite the opposite.

Enjoy a bit!
Health and time aren't guaranteed...

RM
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PokeFan
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by PokeFan »

I can totally relate to this. We make over $300K a year and I have such anxiety over any large purchases. Wish I could tell you how to let go and just enjoy yourself but I haven't figured it out yet. Please do share if you uncover the secret!
staythecourse
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by staythecourse »

I would say you have an IRRATIONAL fear which you are already cognizant that it is irrational.

If it doesn't prevent you from doing what you want then accept it and move on. IF it is interfering with your life (social, job, etc...) then go see a mental health expert.

Pretty simple.

Good luck.
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ThriftyPhD
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by ThriftyPhD »

Bacchus01 wrote:
Nowizard wrote:I suspect most anyone with a long commute would focus on the need for reliable transportation and all the related issues of time, traffic, concerns about other drivers, etc. Though you have high income, that is a pretty significant trade-off. The vehicle you are considering is popular, but it does not have great ratings for the reliability concern you stated.

Tim
Doesn't address my question.
I interpreted Nowizard's comment to be that one reason you might feel anxiety about the purchase is that you need reliable and safe transportation, and that (in Nowizard's opinion) the Cherokee does not fit your stated need of reliability, and therefore your purchase of it is causing you anxiety since you're spending money on something that doesn't fit your needs.

No idea about the reliability of a 2017 Cherokee, just my interpretation of his comment. :happy

As for the purchase, think about it in terms of your time. You're going to spend 2 hours a day in this vehicle. You'll interact with it more than just about anything in your life other than your bed. It's worth investing in for that reason alone, in addition to the fact that it's necessary to get you to the place that lets you earn the money to pay for it. :happy Get the vehicle that you like, will be most comfortable in, and make the 2 hours on the road as enjoyable as possible.

The only thing worth considering is you mentioned towing. How often will you be doing that? Is it worth buying a single vehicle that will function mainly as a commuter car, and do the occasional towing? Or could you be better served (and possibly even be cheaper!) to buy a nice commuter car and a cheaper towing dedicated truck/suv? Since insurance is often scaled by how many miles you drive, the insurance on the truck could be quite low. Just something to consider. If the Cherokee is what you would want to commute in regardless, it's the way to go. Choosing a car is mainly a personal preference.
Nowizard
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Nowizard »

My apologies if the comment was not clear, but it was intended to convey that the anxiety might be related to considering purchase of what is rated as a less than reliable vehicle as part of it.

Tim
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by The Wizard »

Bacchus01 wrote: ...I found a 2017 locally that has just 4K miles on it, only 4 months old. Fully loaded with every option on a Trail Hawk. Still under full warranty. $11K under sticker and $5K under best discounted price on a new unit anywhere in the country! It's perfect. Dealer offered me the high end of trade in value on my BMW.

And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
Hard to answer your question.
I'm retired a few years and have way less than $400k coming in per year.
But I bought a new F-150 18 months ago for mostly cash, not a stripped down model. No anxiety on my part, more eagerness to get the deal done and dispose of my 12-year old truck.

So let's dig a bit.
With a larger income like that, are you saving a decent amount (20%?) for the long term?
On top of that are you able to pay mostly cash for this vehicle?
If yes to both, then no simple reason to have doubt about your situation...
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bottlecap
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by bottlecap »

Bacchus01 wrote:This is more of an emotional rant, but I'm curious if other people have as much trouble spending and why that is.

Current example. I drive a 2012 CPO BMW 528i XDrivr. Bought in 2014 with 18k mikes. It recently had a significant issue, covered under warranty, but is at 95k miles and about to run out of the CPO warranty. I commute 110 miles round trip every day. Car had been fantastic, but I need reliable and safe transportation every day and so I'm going to get a newer vehicle.

Because of lifestyle, I'd like an SUV. The current Grand Cherokee with V6 and 8 speed are getting very good mpg for a mid size SUV. I've owned three in the past and loved them all.

I found a 2017 locally that has just 4K miles on it, only 4 months old. Fully loaded with every option on a Trail Hawk. Still under full warranty. $11K under sticker and $5K under best discounted price on a new unit anywhere in the country! It's perfect. Dealer offered me the high end of trade in value on my BMW.

And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
I don't mean to sound contrary, but you don't seem to have trouble spending at all. You buy a lot of cars.

You also say that you need "reliable and safe" transportation, but only shop brands that are at the bottom of reliability rankings. Unreliable = money on repairs.

Could that be part of the anxiety? You make enough and it sounds like you've been offered a deal on your latest dream vehicle.

JT
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by baughman »

I make 250 and save almost 200 after including company 401k match. I cannot bring myself to pay $41/month on a gym membership to give me access to a climbing wall that will bring me great joy.

I clicked on the link thinking I had met a kindred spirit.

My strategy is to bike to work (7 miles one way), but realize that's probably not feasible for you. Cars are expensive. I think you're justified in not wanting to spend money on a new one.
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by chevca »

You make $400k a year! Buy a commuter car and a towing vehicle. The towing vehicle should last about forever if you pick a good one and don't use it much. Replace the commuter as needed.

How much will it end up costing you to replace a nice vehicle that can do both each time compared to buying a tow vehicle and many commuters?

It's good you recognize having trouble spending. But at your income level, having a fear of buying pretty basic type vehicles is sort of taking it to extremes, IMO.
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Kenkat »

Just for a little mental accounting that might help you put things in perspective. You will pay for this car in full for a little over 1 month of earnings. Is one month of earnings worth being anxious over? Is this really going to affect your financial well being in any significant way?

I bought a new used car recently. It was the equivalent of two months salary. I have made 5 times the cost in investment gains this year. I have lost the equivalent of the purchase price in one really bad day in the markets in the past. It's all relative.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

staythecourse wrote:I would say you have an IRRATIONAL fear which you are already cognizant that it is irrational.

If it doesn't prevent you from doing what you want then accept it and move on. IF it is interfering with your life (social, job, etc...) then go see a mental health expert.

Pretty simple.

Good luck.
Ha, I thought about that. Bogleheads is often my (financial) mental health outlet
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

Kenkat wrote:Just for a little mental accounting that might help you put things in perspective. You will pay for this car in full for a little over 1 month of earnings. Is one month of earnings worth being anxious over? Is this really going to affect your financial well being in any significant way?

I bought a new used car recently. It was the equivalent of two months salary. I have made 5 times the cost in investment gains this year. I have lost the equivalent of the purchase price in one really bad day in the markets in the past. It's all relative.
Isn't that the truth. Thanks for the insight. Our investment gains in one month typically are more than the cost of this nicer vehicle. Thanks!
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

baughman wrote:I make 250 and save almost 200 after including company 401k match. I cannot bring myself to pay $41/month on a gym membership to give me access to a climbing wall that will bring me great joy.

I clicked on the link thinking I had met a kindred spirit.

My strategy is to bike to work (7 miles one way), but realize that's probably not feasible for you. Cars are expensive. I think you're justified in not wanting to spend money on a new one.
Yeah! Someone way more mentally disturbed than me. Just kidding. Thanks for sharing.

To one of the other posters, yes, I grew up relatively poor. Lived on government assistance for a while. Father never finished HS as he left for Vietnam instead. Ironically my parents were never particularly frugal relative to their earnings. But I think it had a definite effect on me.

I also think the Great Recession had an irrational impact on some people. I was never laid off and never really in fear of losing my home or anything. Yet I was laying off people left and right and knew so many people out of work and losing their houses. I guess it's created a "don't ever let that happen" irrational fear.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

bottlecap wrote:
Bacchus01 wrote:This is more of an emotional rant, but I'm curious if other people have as much trouble spending and why that is.

Current example. I drive a 2012 CPO BMW 528i XDrivr. Bought in 2014 with 18k mikes. It recently had a significant issue, covered under warranty, but is at 95k miles and about to run out of the CPO warranty. I commute 110 miles round trip every day. Car had been fantastic, but I need reliable and safe transportation every day and so I'm going to get a newer vehicle.

Because of lifestyle, I'd like an SUV. The current Grand Cherokee with V6 and 8 speed are getting very good mpg for a mid size SUV. I've owned three in the past and loved them all.

I found a 2017 locally that has just 4K miles on it, only 4 months old. Fully loaded with every option on a Trail Hawk. Still under full warranty. $11K under sticker and $5K under best discounted price on a new unit anywhere in the country! It's perfect. Dealer offered me the high end of trade in value on my BMW.

And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
I don't mean to sound contrary, but you don't seem to have trouble spending at all. You buy a lot of cars.

You also say that you need "reliable and safe" transportation, but only shop brands that are at the bottom of reliability rankings. Unreliable = money on repairs.

Could that be part of the anxiety? You make enough and it sounds like you've been offered a deal on your latest dream vehicle.

JT
My personal experience on those brands have been very different. I don't buy a lot of cars relative to the miles I accumulate. I've owned 3 grand cherokees previously. A 1993, a 1997 and a 2007. I had one warranty repair on the 2007 for a steering hose. On the others, I never did anything but brakes, shocks, tires and a fuel pump in each. All three had over 150K miles on them when I sold them. For the BMW, we've owned two. Our 2002 3 series was troublesome after 100K miles. I did a lot of work on that car myself (new axles, rear springs, lots of auxulillary engine components, front suspension) and vowed to never own one out of warranty. It had 130K on it when I got rid of it. The 2012 5 series was bought as a CPO. I just recently put tires and front brakes on it after it hit around 80K miles. That was a first for both. The oil cooler went bad a few thousand miles ago and covered under warranty. I get the oil changed every 15K miles. No other problems with it at all. BUT, 100K is coming up so it's going bye bye.

My experience with those brands has been overall excellent.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

The Wizard wrote:
Bacchus01 wrote: ...I found a 2017 locally that has just 4K miles on it, only 4 months old. Fully loaded with every option on a Trail Hawk. Still under full warranty. $11K under sticker and $5K under best discounted price on a new unit anywhere in the country! It's perfect. Dealer offered me the high end of trade in value on my BMW.

And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
Hard to answer your question.
I'm retired a few years and have way less than $400k coming in per year.
But I bought a new F-150 18 months ago for mostly cash, not a stripped down model. No anxiety on my part, more eagerness to get the deal done and dispose of my 12-year old truck.

So let's dig a bit.
With a larger income like that, are you saving a decent amount (20%?) for the long term?
On top of that are you able to pay mostly cash for this vehicle?
If yes to both, then no simple reason to have doubt about your situation...
I save way more than 20% a year. We save about 45% of gross and probably about 65% of net. We also own three properties that are accumulating principle. I could easily pay cash for it, but choose to finance as I believe in leveraging it relative to the finance rates.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

Nowizard wrote:My apologies if the comment was not clear, but it was intended to convey that the anxiety might be related to considering purchase of what is rated as a less than reliable vehicle as part of it.

Tim

No worries. Reliability concern is not even factoring into my anxiety.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

I thought of buying a commuter and a truck or SUV, but I'm kind of out of space to park them at our current place. I have a 3 car but it is full with my and my wife's car and the third bay contains a restored 1940 Ford Pickup that has been in my family for 77 years.

And my 16 year old will probably get a car in the next 6-8 months. I probably should have gotten him the truck!
cas
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by cas »

Bacchus01 wrote:This is more of an emotional rant, but I'm curious if other people have as much trouble spending and why that is.

<car purchase example>

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
Leaving aside the specifics of the car purchase, have you ever done any reading in behavioral economics? Books like Dan Ariely's Predictably Irrational (written for a general audience) gave me a new perspective on my some of my own "predictably irrational" behavior around money and spending.

As an example, what about this Dan Ariely video on "The Pain of Paying"?

http://danariely.com/2013/02/05/the-pain-of-paying/

( I have a theory that if a study was done that bogleheads would tend to have a much lower "pain of paying" threshold than the general population. That can lead to both advantageous behavior (e.g. saving) and somewhat irrational, annoying behavior (e.g. excessive discomfort spending) ...)

Kenkat's comment about mental accounting (and how to use it to dampen down behavior that is probably irrational!) would be another example of using insights from behavioral economics.
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by ncbill »

1. Buy a reliable commuter vehicle (Lexus SUV?)

2. Lease the fun vehicle so it's always under warranty, no worries about reliability.
chevca wrote:You make $400k a year! Buy a commuter car and a towing vehicle. The towing vehicle should last about forever if you pick a good one and don't use it much. Replace the commuter as needed.

How much will it end up costing you to replace a nice vehicle that can do both each time compared to buying a tow vehicle and many commuters?

It's good you recognize having trouble spending. But at your income level, having a fear of buying pretty basic type vehicles is sort of taking it to extremes, IMO.
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Bacchus01
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Bacchus01 »

cas wrote:
Bacchus01 wrote:This is more of an emotional rant, but I'm curious if other people have as much trouble spending and why that is.

<car purchase example>

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
Leaving aside the specifics of the car purchase, have you ever done any reading in behavioral economics? Books like Dan Ariely's Predictably Irrational (written for a general audience) gave me a new perspective on my some of my own "predictably irrational" behavior around money and spending.

As an example, what about this Dan Ariely video on "The Pain of Paying"?

http://danariely.com/2013/02/05/the-pain-of-paying/

( I have a theory that if a study was done that bogleheads would tend to have a much lower "pain of paying" threshold than the general population. That can lead to both advantageous behavior (e.g. saving) and somewhat irrational, annoying behavior (e.g. excessive discomfort spending) ...)

Kenkat's comment about mental accounting (and how to use it to dampen down behavior that is probably irrational!) would be another example of using insights from behavioral economics.
No, but I will definitely pick it up to read. Thanks.
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Abe
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Abe »

You asked why you have these anxieties about spending money. I don't know if anyone can answer that, but I think there are two types of people, those who worry about spending and those who don't. I am one of the former group and it appears you are too. You are what you are, and that cannot be easily changed. I never made more than $65k a year so it is hard for me to relate to your situation. If I made $400k a year, I think I would analyze the situation this way: I make $400k a year: I can pay for a new vehicle with one months salary. No problem.
Slow and steady wins the race.
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by The Wizard »

Bacchus01 wrote: I save way more than 20% a year. We save about 45% of gross and probably about 65% of net. We also own three properties that are accumulating principle. I could easily pay cash for it, but choose to finance as I believe in leveraging it relative to the finance rates.
Alrighty then. So 9 of 10 responses will agree there's no financial basis for this purchase anxiety.
So really no non- medical advice I can give.

Only situation where I have is some anxiety at the start of commercial travel, which is all recreational nowadays. But this is based on a dozen or more actual incidents with flight delays/cancellations, baggage issues, and rental car issues, all of which will happen again on future trips, but with uncertainty about which will strike next.
Unclear how that sort of uncertainty might surface with respect to a new car purchase...
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Texanbybirth
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Texanbybirth »

Do you have this anxiety over every car/large purchase? Or, has it just started with this one?
“The strong cannot be brave. Only the weak can be brave; and yet again, in practice, only those who can be brave can be trusted, in time of doubt, to be strong.“ - GK Chesterton
Frank Grimes
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Frank Grimes »

I can't make myself spend $350 on a relatively frivolous purchase I've looked at for months because I don't need it. Well I also fear what my spouse will buy in retaliation.

There's a fine line between being careful with money/frugal and being cheap. As long as I feel I'm staying on the good side of that line I'll feel ok.
staythecourse
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by staythecourse »

Abe wrote:You asked why you have these anxieties about spending money. I don't know if anyone can answer that, but I think there are two types of people, those who worry about spending and those who don't.
I agree 100%. Interestingly, I wonder often if one of the reasons the folks on this board (me included) spend so much time saving is NOT to spend for a later date, but as an act of compulsion to allay the obsession of saving just like an OCD person washing their hands. I wonder if there is a such thing as a impulsive disorder when it comes to over saving. Are deluding ourselves thinking we are saving all this money for some later date or are we saving to satisfy some anxiety? For me it may same if not more of the latter and not the former.

We talk about folks spending all their money as being abnormal, but starting to think that oversaving is pathological as well. Maybe, one of our psychiatrist on this board could start looking into this and publish a name for it... bogleheadesque OCD syndrome :D

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle
staythecourse
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by staythecourse »

Bacchus01 wrote:
staythecourse wrote:I would say you have an IRRATIONAL fear which you are already cognizant that it is irrational.

If it doesn't prevent you from doing what you want then accept it and move on. IF it is interfering with your life (social, job, etc...) then go see a mental health expert.

Pretty simple.

Good luck.
Ha, I thought about that. Bogleheads is often my (financial) mental health outlet
Sadly, it is for me too. Question is... Is that the same as a drunk hanging out a bar to relax or gambler hanging out at the casino? :D

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle
COBRA86
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by COBRA86 »

As a current Grand Cherokee owner, and at your income level, go for it! Great, comfortable ride mine(07 limited 5.7l) has almost 160k on it and still get compliments on how it rides even better to their vehicles that are 2-5 years old (comparing to a Sequoia, Silverado, and Explorer). Not sure where people question the reliability of them mine has only seen shop time for oil changes, recalls, tires, brakes, and soon suspension.
WhiteMaxima
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by WhiteMaxima »

110 mile daily commuting, a new Honda Civic Type R fits you very well. Fun, reliable, and exciting.
hicabob
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by hicabob »

staythecourse wrote:
Abe wrote:You asked why you have these anxieties about spending money. I don't know if anyone can answer that, but I think there are two types of people, those who worry about spending and those who don't.
I agree 100%. Interestingly, I wonder often if one of the reasons the folks on this board (me included) spend so much time saving is NOT to spend for a later date, but as an act of compulsion to allay the obsession of saving just like an OCD person washing their hands. I wonder if there is a such thing as a impulsive disorder when it comes to over saving. Are deluding ourselves thinking we are saving all this money for some later date or are we saving to satisfy some anxiety? For me it may same if not more of the latter and not the former.

We talk about folks spending all their money as being abnormal, but starting to think that oversaving is pathological as well. Maybe, one of our psychiatrist on this board could start looking into this and publish a name for it... bogleheadesque OCD syndrome :D

Good luck.
Supposedly "pervasive miserliness" affects about 1% of the population ...

https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/are ... tally-ill/
mnnice
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:48 pm

Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by mnnice »

baughman wrote:I make 250 and save almost 200 after including company 401k match. I cannot bring myself to pay $41/month on a gym membership to give me access to a climbing wall that will bring me great joy.

I clicked on the link thinking I had met a kindred spirit.

My strategy is to bike to work (7 miles one way), but realize that's probably not feasible for you. Cars are expensive. I think you're justified in not wanting to spend money on a new one.
I had been on the fence about a gym membership for awhile. In January an opportunity for a completely free membership presented itself and I took it. My favorite thing is yoga. I am fitter and have lost a small amount of weight, but I am way less anxious (about spending money and everything else). I would gladly pay full freight if my current situation ends. Cheap and way more fun than anti anxiety meds.
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Toons
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Toons »

We purchased a new Civic Hatchback Yesterday,,,
It was fun ,,no stress,,,
Get the car you want.
As long as you have the money.
It is just a car,,,stuff,,,
Dont' sweat the small stuff
Enjoy. :happy
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee
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bottlecap
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by bottlecap »

Bacchus01 wrote:My experience with those brands has been overall excellent.
Other than the BMW you're trying to get rid of!

My experience is that Ford is the most reliable brand and that I will only need two in my lifetime, despite driving about 18,000 miles per year.

But the statistics don't bear my experience out...

I can't help with the anxiety, other than to confirm that it's not rational and you don't have to worry about cars putting you in the poorhouse.

JT
chuppi
Posts: 150
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by chuppi »

I think a lot before spending (big tickets) but luckily don't ponder over it once the money is gone. Getting ripped off (especially at the dealers) makes me anxious. I don't have much problem spending money when I see value.

One way is to avoid 'save as much as you can' trap. Save as much as needed for your financial goal and recognize that you are lucky to have money in excess. That can be used for hobbies, toys or wish lists. Maybe you will throw some money away but we cannot take it with us anyway. This line of thinking works for me.
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Abe
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Abe »

staythecourse wrote:
Abe wrote:You asked why you have these anxieties about spending money. I don't know if anyone can answer that, but I think there are two types of people, those who worry about spending and those who don't.
I agree 100%. Interestingly, I wonder often if one of the reasons the folks on this board (me included) spend so much time saving is NOT to spend for a later date, but as an act of compulsion to allay the obsession of saving just like an OCD person washing their hands. I wonder if there is a such thing as a impulsive disorder when it comes to over saving. Are deluding ourselves thinking we are saving all this money for some later date or are we saving to satisfy some anxiety? For me it may same if not more of the latter and not the former.

We talk about folks spending all their money as being abnormal, but starting to think that oversaving is pathological as well. Maybe, one of our psychiatrist on this board could start looking into this and publish a name for it... bogleheadesque OCD syndrome :D

Good luck.
I think you're on to something there. I know in my case, I had a learning disability in school, so I had to endure all the negative feedback from that. I thought I was going to be a complete failure in life. After my school years, I found that if I really focused on some things, I could do them really well. I focused on saving and investing. After a while I amassed quite a bit of money. With the help of compounding, I had more than the most people in my peer group, so I finally got a little respect, and consequently this boosted my self esteem. Now, many years later, I still have this impulse to save and increase my net worth. It's like, as you say, I am compelled to do it. I guess one of the benefits of all this is I could do most anything I want now, I just can't bring myself to do it. I have reservations about revealing something so personal, but it would be interesting to know if other Bogleheads have had similar experiences.
Slow and steady wins the race.
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randomizer
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by randomizer »

If you feel anxious about the purchase I think you should buy a cheaper car.
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TeamArgo
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by TeamArgo »

I spent most of my working years in an overly thrifty mode, even WAY before I discovered Bogleheads. I also worried that I might die a miser, never enjoying the fruits of my spendthrift ways. But, the good news is that I retired nearly four years ago, and I have not had a problem "letting go of the purse strings". After a year of retirement, I noticed that my savings minus my withdrawals was still quite positive. The next year I eased up some, moved to FL, and it still remained positive. Last year we sprung for a bathroom remodeling that was much nicer than the minimum. This year my wife and I have taken our first cruise, a second to Alaska, and still shifted a good chunk of money from a 401K to a Roth IRA. Still good.
I might be a bit above that miserly 1% that was mentioned in a previous post. Maybe you are, too. Look at how you are doing financially, and if you are on track or better, give yourself permission for a splurge every once in a while. From the sound of your posts, I don't think you have to worry about the dam bursting and your spending going wild. Just let yourself improve your life every once in a while.
“Love with your heart: use your brain for everything else.” -Captain Disillusion
DomDangelina
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by DomDangelina »

Bacchus01 wrote:
And I have enormous anxiety over the purchase.

And I make over $400K a year.

Why in the world do we have these anxieties?
Anxiety arises from an unregulated desire to be delivered from any pressing evil, or to obtain some hoped-for good. Nevertheless nothing tends so greatly to enhance the one or retard the other as over-eagerness and anxiety. Birds that are captured in nets and snares become inextricably entangled therein, because they flutter and struggle so much. Therefore, whenever you urgently desire to be delivered from any evil, or to attain some good thing, strive above all else to keep a calm, restful spirit,--steady your judgment and will, and then go quietly and easily after your object, taking all fitting means to attain thereto. By easily I do not mean carelessly, but without eagerness, disquietude or anxiety; otherwise, so far from bringing about what you wish, you will hinder it, and add more and more to your perplexities. "My soul is always in my hand, yet do I not forget Thy Law," David says. Examine yourself often, at least night and morning, as to whether your soul is "in your hand;" or whether it has been wrested thence by any passionate or anxious emotion. See whether your soul is fully under control, or whether it has not somehow escaped from beneath your hand, to plunge into some unruly love, hate, envy, lust, fear, vexation or joy. And if it has so strayed, before all else seek it out, and quietly bring it back to the Presence of God, once more placing all your hopes and affections under the direction of His Holy Will. Just as one who fears to lose some precious possession holds it tight in his hand, so, like King David, we ought to be able to say, "My soul is always in my hand, and therefore I have not forgotten Thy Law."

Do not allow any wishes to disturb your mind under the pretext of their being trifling and unimportant; for if they gain the day, greater and weightier matters will find your heart more accessible to disturbance. When you are conscious that you are growing anxious, commend yourself to God, and resolve stedfastly not to take any steps whatever to obtain the result you desire, until your disturbed state of mind is altogether quieted;--unless indeed it should be necessary to do something without delay, in which case you must restrain the rush of inclination, moderating it, as far as possible, so as to act rather from reason than impulse.

-From St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Part IV, Chapter 11, "Anxiety of Mind"
"Often the remedy causes the disease. It is by no means the least of life's rules: to let things alone." | Baltasar Gracián, S.J., The Art of Worldly Wisdom, Maxim 121
DomDangelina
Posts: 180
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by DomDangelina »

Alexa9 wrote: Jeep has questionable reliability lately.
My 2015 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited 4X4 has been utterly reliable, indeed the most reliable car I've ever owned. I love it so much.
"Often the remedy causes the disease. It is by no means the least of life's rules: to let things alone." | Baltasar Gracián, S.J., The Art of Worldly Wisdom, Maxim 121
Pinotage
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by Pinotage »

Buy it.

And get this vanity plate:

HMBL BRG

:sharebeer

But seriously, this is a rounding error for you. Get something you like and feel will be reliable.

And then move on and enjoy.

The amount of your time you've spent/could spend worrying about it is probably worth more than a new car.
staythecourse
Posts: 6993
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Re: Anyone else have trouble spending?

Post by staythecourse »

hicabob wrote:
staythecourse wrote:
Abe wrote:You asked why you have these anxieties about spending money. I don't know if anyone can answer that, but I think there are two types of people, those who worry about spending and those who don't.
I agree 100%. Interestingly, I wonder often if one of the reasons the folks on this board (me included) spend so much time saving is NOT to spend for a later date, but as an act of compulsion to allay the obsession of saving just like an OCD person washing their hands. I wonder if there is a such thing as a impulsive disorder when it comes to over saving. Are deluding ourselves thinking we are saving all this money for some later date or are we saving to satisfy some anxiety? For me it may same if not more of the latter and not the former.

We talk about folks spending all their money as being abnormal, but starting to think that oversaving is pathological as well. Maybe, one of our psychiatrist on this board could start looking into this and publish a name for it... bogleheadesque OCD syndrome :D

Good luck.
Supposedly "pervasive miserliness" affects about 1% of the population ...

https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/are ... tally-ill/
Great I guess I am late to the party. No Nobel Prize for me. :(

I really thought I may finally get my wish of getting a disease named after me.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle
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