Regret early retirement/downsizing

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mouses
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by mouses » Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:40 am

namekevaste wrote:There are many posts on this forum regarding early retirement or downsizing. Does anyone regret retiring early or downsizing?
Yes, but I really didn't have a choice. My company in Silicon Valley got bought out, the new owners let go the top of the age pyramid, and jobs for fifty year old women in software engineering are non-existent.

California or the feds, I don't know which had a regulation that when there was a general layoff the company had to provide workers with the age distribution in the groups and the ages of the people laid off, and they exactly clipped off the oldest people. However, in order to get the severance package, we had to sign something saying we wouldn't sue. It would have been a fool's errand to sue, as it would have been very expensive, taken years, and no guarantee of success.

So I lost about ten years when I would have preferred to work. Actually I would have worked until I dropped in my tracks if I'd had a choice. I loved my work.
Last edited by mouses on Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

mouses
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by mouses » Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:47 am

kathyauburn wrote:
It's remarkable, as I proceed into the latter part of my 50s, how many people I have known and loved have already died.
Wait until you get to your seventies, you'll start hoping there's an afterlife, because most people are on the other side whatever it is.

chuckb84
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by chuckb84 » Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:48 am

I'm 62 and now retired 2 years. I never thought about retiring much, until about 6 months before I decided to do it. I was a 31 year career Fed and watched the job sort of dissolve out from under me. Declining budgets, increasing workload, incredible bureaucratic obstacles to getting anything DONE, fewer career advancement opportunities.

I DO miss working with some of the smartest people I ever knew. Nearly everyone I worked with was a Phd in a "hard science" and they are a smart bunch. The community that I interacted with was essentially all university professors, also a smart bunch, if sometimes a bit ivory tower. I got to see a lot of the cutting edge research before the general public knew of it, and influence some decisions, and to mentor young scientists. Those were very good things, but the downsides grew until the balance shifted the other way.

I was simply ready for a change. We moved, I'm much more physically active and the thing I prize most is not just the free time and financial independence, but the fact that I"m LIVING everyday. The days are not the same, there's huge variety and I simply can't wait to get "out there" and do whatever is on the agenda for the next day. Small tasks, like shopping for groceries, little home improvement jobs, etc, that I used to find very onerous are now quite pleasant, because I know that I am not eating up the tiny amount of time I have before I have to go be chained to a desk the next day.

Two years has been sort of a long vacation, and I can see that I'll want to do something "engaging", perhaps try to teach at the local community college, volunteer somewhere, etc, but there's plenty of time for that...

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burt
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by burt » Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:01 pm

Retired at 60, 1.5 years ago.

I think people overthink retirement.
It's amazing how much effort (life energy) is required to put food on the table and a roof over your head.
All of a sudden at age 61 I'm supposed to find purpose ?? It's a little late for that.
I help my neighbors, friends and relatives however I can. That's fulfilling enough.

burt

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:46 pm

wolf359 wrote:
freebeer wrote:
wolf359 wrote:
freebeer wrote:
This is my beef with the word "retired" as used by, say, Mr. Money Mustache. I prefer "financially independent". kathyauburn could of course have done writing, music, publishing, and countless other things as paid endeavors at 24 as many artists do. If she was financially independent at that age she could have used it as a safety net as many artists do (there is a very strong artist-trustafarian correlation). But it would not have been "retirement", it would have been "being a writer", etc. There is plenty of work outside offices and so there are plenty of working people who don't go to offices who aren't "retired". Some of them may be financially independent just as some who go to offices are financially independent.
I prefer "Financially Independent" as well. However, his definition of early retirement is accurate. People have changed their definition of "Retirement" to mean "never working."

Check out this Life Magazine photo essay on "Early Retirement" in the 1950's...
I don't dispute that the meaning of "retirement" has evolved. But that doesn't make MMM using a meaning that may have been common in the 1950s accurate any more than it's accurate in U.S. to use "incredible" when you literally mean "unbelievable". But mis-use of the term "retirement" wasn't my main point (I'm not with the Internet Retirement Police(tm)!).

My point was that being FI doesn't mean you necessarily should stop being a full-time teacher, doctor, software developer, coming in every day to Berkshire Hathaway, or whatever else it is that floats your boat. And if you do love being a doctor, washing your towels once every two weeks in order to accelerate time-to-FI doesn't necessarily make much sense either. So I just don't see MMM's blanket advice to all comers to a) get FI ASAP and b) "retire" ASAP as being all that universal - "a" I see as pretty great for almost everyone but "b" not so much (being in the "FI but still working full-time" boat myself).
Mr. Money Mustache's actual goal is to preach minimalism, and to save the planet by encouraging people to step off the consumerism treadmill. "Early Retirement" is simply the mechanism he uses to popularize frugality and convince people to follow that path. He really doesn't care what you call it -- he's using the term that catches more people's attention.

He actually states this in his blog.
MMM is quite a salesman.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:53 pm

chuckb84 wrote: I DO miss working with some of the smartest people I ever knew.
Maybe the main thing that keeps me in the game.
Run, You Clever Boy!

HIinvestor
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by HIinvestor » Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:02 pm

H fully retired in 7/2013. He's happy puttering around and doing a ton of deferred maintenance around the house. I work part-time at a nonprofit I started 11 years ago. We go to medical appointments and conferences around the country related to my nonprofit for our travel and travel just because we feel like it as well. So far, we're pretty happy and though H sometimes does miss some of his co-workers, he says he doesn't miss the work. He was at his job for over 45 years and many of his co-workers left before or just after him. We do have lunch with some of his co-workers and classmates from HS periodically. We never really upsized so feel no particular need to downsize. Our neighbors and we are all aging in place. We help my aging parents when we are able to as well. H retired late and I'm semi-retired a bit early. I was not interested in working fulltime while H was retired so what we have worked out works well for us. We're pretty happy and make our own schedule.

We'd like some grandkids at some point, but since neither of our kids are in serious relationships, that may be some time in the distance, if it ever happens. H and I would be happy to help watch future grandkids at least part-time, health permitting.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by dacalo » Mon Jun 12, 2017 3:18 pm

fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

delamer
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by delamer » Mon Jun 12, 2017 3:37 pm

dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.

wolf359
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by wolf359 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:31 am

delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last."

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Tue Jun 13, 2017 8:46 am

dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.
Just to clarify, if you were magically Financially Independent tomorrow you would spend significant time playing through your backlog of video games? I guess that makes sense I have a friend who paid a couple thousand for a custom console that plays 100s of classic arcade style games.
Run, You Clever Boy!

fantasytensai
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by fantasytensai » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:41 am

delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
I understand. But I know some people think that reading is addictive as well, but it is NOTHING compared to video games (in my opinion). There are hundreds of games that, once you pick up, you just cannot put down. I remember when I was around 15 I played video games for 36 hours straight when my parents left me alone for a weekend, pausing only to perform basic human functions.

Of course video games have lessened their grapples on me now, but I am still greatly drawn to a good one. If I can magically retire tomorrow, I will not play video games all day long, mostly because my wife won't let me. But what I'm saying is that, when people here talk about having those lonely thoughts when they retire, I just don't see it. When I feel like there is nothing to do, I'll just fire up my PS4 or hop on my PC.

And don't even get me started on online games. My wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't stop playing those.

btenny
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by btenny » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:51 am

I retired early and immediately realized I could go skiing full time. I love to ski and all through the years from age 21 on I wanted to ski a lot but never had the $$ or time. So for the next 5 seasons I skied around 150 days a winter. I loved it. It took me six years to get enough. Now 18 years later I only ski 20 days a winter but I still love it.

My next door neighbor is a pen collector. He loves fancy ink pens. He travels and trades with collectors all over the world. He learned Mandarin so he could talk with Chinese pen collectors. He was so happy in retirement that he now had time to pursue this hobby more.

Everyone has their passion. So I can see wanting to play games a lot when you retire.

Good Luck.

delamer
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by delamer » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:52 am

wolf359 wrote:
delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last."
Is that the one where his eyeglasses broke!?

wolf359
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by wolf359 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:07 am

delamer wrote:
wolf359 wrote:
delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
Reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last."
Is that the one where his eyeglasses broke!?
Yes, that's the one.

SeaToTheBay
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by SeaToTheBay » Tue Jun 13, 2017 1:42 pm

fantasytensai wrote: I understand. But I know some people think that reading is addictive as well, but it is NOTHING compared to video games (in my opinion). There are hundreds of games that, once you pick up, you just cannot put down. I remember when I was around 15 I played video games for 36 hours straight when my parents left me alone for a weekend, pausing only to perform basic human functions.

Of course video games have lessened their grapples on me now, but I am still greatly drawn to a good one. If I can magically retire tomorrow, I will not play video games all day long, mostly because my wife won't let me. But what I'm saying is that, when people here talk about having those lonely thoughts when they retire, I just don't see it. When I feel like there is nothing to do, I'll just fire up my PS4 or hop on my PC.

And don't even get me started on online games. My wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't stop playing those.
I used to play video games somewhat, never hardcore but do like a good one and can definitely understand the addiction! I would love to get a system now but know I just won't have any time to really get into it without interfering with my marriage or sleep.

I did just get a VR headset (came free with my Samsung GS8) and wow... when I retire in 25-30 years, I don't see ever getting bored with what VR will surely be like by then. Even beyond gaming, being able to explore different places and experiences and feel like you're really there (want to try Google Earth VR badly, but I'd need a fancier headset to run it) is simply awesome. I could actually see it causing serious problems in the future with some people who are easily addicted to such things, but that is another discussion.

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Elsebet
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Elsebet » Tue Jun 13, 2017 4:15 pm

Just maintaining my property would happily keep me busy in retirement, let alone all the books, video games, exercise, volunteering, travel, gardening, woodworking, hiking, knitting, etc. I'd probably be overwhelmed more than bored.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by hoops777 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 4:50 pm

Just retired at 65 which is not early,but was planning on probably working into my seventies,owning my own very small business.I discovered some liability issues and did not want to restructure my business and retired within 10 days with zero preparation.
I am figuring it out day by day.We babysit our soon to be 3 grandson 2 full days a week,which is fun and gives me something to look forward to.Like everything else,it all depends on the individual.How driven are you?How social?Do you have hobbies?I think the key thing is are you financially secure.If so it makes up for a lot of things because it lowers your stress so much.We all need a reason to get up everyday,something to look forward to and that is really an individual thing.I will say it is a strange feeling not making money anymore and not having to go in to work.
I am very happy today after my beloved Warriors took care of business last night :D
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

Theseus
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Theseus » Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:10 pm

Such a timely thread for me personally. I am 50. Have been financially independent for at least 7 years. But continued on. But this year I am exiting. In process of selling my IT business and hopefully I will be out of workforce in next four weeks or so.

I have not given much thought about what I will be doing without work. I plan on not doing any paid work for next several months to two years. I plan on being a house husband during that time while DW increases her work hours. DW is bugging me to take care of many home projects that were have been delayed. And I plan to travel with family and/or alone; and go on a lot of low risk adventurous trips and THINK. I need a second career of sorts. But I want to do something completely different and it will take time to think about what I want to do when I grow up :-).

But whatever I decide to do, I am sure to collect experiences (I have a bucket list of 40+ items). I find that to be more valuable than any possessions I have.

BUT I am afraid I am going to be bored out of my mind. And my hope is I won't regret exiting this early.

Limoncello402
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Limoncello402 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:58 pm

I downsized radically--from a 1800 sq. ft house to a 850 sq ft high rise condo. I sold nearly everything to fit into the tiny space. Within 6 months I upsized again; I realized I hated the place. I felt so confined and the place so impersonal. I bought a 1500 sq foot home with small yard and am happy as a clam! Plenty of space to spread out, entertain, garden, tinker, etc. Of course I had to buy all sorts of new furniture, yard implements, etc--but it was kind of fun to "start over." I'm 60, single, and still working, but plan to stay here forever if I can. Downsizing is not for everyone!

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gasdoc
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by gasdoc » Tue Jun 13, 2017 7:47 pm

Limoncello402 wrote:I downsized radically--from a 1800 sq. ft house to a 850 sq ft high rise condo. I sold nearly everything to fit into the tiny space. Within 6 months I upsized again; I realized I hated the place. I felt so confined and the place so impersonal. I bought a 1500 sq foot home with small yard and am happy as a clam! Plenty of space to spread out, entertain, garden, tinker, etc. Of course I had to buy all sorts of new furniture, yard implements, etc--but it was kind of fun to "start over." I'm 60, single, and still working, but plan to stay here forever if I can. Downsizing is not for everyone!
Sounds like you downsized too drastically! My idea of downsizing would be from 4,000 sq ft to 2100 sq ft, with a small yard (for two humans, a DD that may occasionally visit over school breaks, and a small yorkie named "Lilly."

gasdoc

hoops777
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by hoops777 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 7:52 pm

I get a kick out of some of the downsizing.For some reason the older homes built in the 1950,60's were so much smaller and often with one bath.At some point we all needed two or three times as much space :D
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by bayview » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:06 pm

hoops777 wrote:I get a kick out of some of the downsizing.For some reason the older homes built in the 1950,60's were so much smaller and often with one bath.At some point we all needed two or three times as much space :D
I love our 1200 sq ft 94-year-old Craftsman 2 BR bungalow, but I will say that 1 1/2 baths would beat the heck out of the current 1 bath, as lovely as it now is. When one of us heads to the bathroom with the newspaper or the phone, the other says "wait a sec!" :D
The continuous execution of a sound strategy gives you the benefit of the strategy. That's what it's all about. --Rick Ferri

sambb
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by sambb » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:35 pm

I really enjoy my job and the challenges. I have enough to retire, but dont want to.

Limoncello402
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Limoncello402 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:20 am

I think I did downsize too drastically. Of course, at the time I thought it was the right thing to do, but in hindsight not so much. I was coming from a house that was giving me headaches in all the upkeep and the idea of a sleek, modern, tiny condo signaled "freedom." In reality, it felt like a box in the air versus a real home. It was an expensive lesson, of course, but a good one in the end.

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Nicolas
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Nicolas » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:47 pm

hoops777 wrote:I get a kick out of some of the downsizing.For some reason the older homes built in the 1950,60's were so much smaller and often with one bath.At some point we all needed two or three times as much space :D
And usually only a one, or at most a two-car garage. I have a three-car garage and wish I had four.

delamer
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by delamer » Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:09 pm

Nicolas wrote:
hoops777 wrote:I get a kick out of some of the downsizing.For some reason the older homes built in the 1950,60's were so much smaller and often with one bath.At some point we all needed two or three times as much space :D
And usually only a one, or at most a two-car garage. I have a three-car garage and wish I had four.
Wow! Four 3-car garages would make room for a lot of cars! :wink:

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Nicolas
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by Nicolas » Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:19 pm

delamer wrote:
Nicolas wrote:
hoops777 wrote:I get a kick out of some of the downsizing.For some reason the older homes built in the 1950,60's were so much smaller and often with one bath.At some point we all needed two or three times as much space :D
And usually only a one, or at most a two-car garage. I have a three-car garage and wish I had four.
Wow! Four 3-car garages would make room for a lot of cars! :wink:
Sorry, bad grammar on my part. I meant I wish I had a four-car garage, not four three-car garages, but you knew that. :oops:

hoops777
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by hoops777 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:32 pm

We went from 2940 sq ft to a single level 1350 sq ft. 2br 2 bath with a 2 car garage.Never been happier.My wife took the mbr closet and I put my clothes in the other br closet.We live across the street from a beautiful park and we are never moving.It is a perfect size for us and too small for my wife's relatives to stay over :D
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:44 pm

hoops777 wrote:We went from 2940 sq ft to a single level 1350 sq ft. 2br 2 bath with a 2 car garage.Never been happier.My wife took the mbr closet and I put my clothes in the other br closet.We live across the street from a beautiful park and we are never moving.It is a perfect size for us and too small for my wife's relatives to stay over :D
I want a casita on the property with my retirement home. I would use it as an Office/Man Cave/Where I stay when relatives come to visit and stay in the main house.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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boomer
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by boomer » Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:54 pm

I retired when I was 60, which isn't super early but earlier than I had planned to. The work environment had become a pressure cooker, and to paraphrase what has been stated on some other threads, "I felt I had saved enough and had definitely had enough." Luckily my spouse was content to keep working for a bit and is providing the health insurance for the two of us for a while.

After the initial relief, I had a hard time adjusting to the idea that I was retired. I felt guilty quitting work so early, and I missed co-workers, being part of an organization, feeling important, and the constant checking of email. Haha.

However, after almost a year, I drove by my former place of work today and shuddered. I can't imagine going back there now and working. It would feel like a prison. I've adjusted to my new lifestyle and am never at a loss for things that I want to do.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by msk » Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:36 am

Genius is limited, but stupidity is boundless. We upsized after retirement, from circa 3500 sq ft to 14,000. Then two years later all the kids had left home to go off to college. Now there is only DW and myself to share our 5 living/entertainment areas, 2 offices, etc. Ah, we also have staff quarters for a couple live-in help. All silly? Of course, but you can't take it with you! But it does fall into that boundless category. At least we do not have a passion for yachts :beer

ynotredrum
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by ynotredrum » Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:26 am

fantasytensai wrote:
delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
I understand. But I know some people think that reading is addictive as well, but it is NOTHING compared to video games (in my opinion). There are hundreds of games that, once you pick up, you just cannot put down. I remember when I was around 15 I played video games for 36 hours straight when my parents left me alone for a weekend, pausing only to perform basic human functions.

Of course video games have lessened their grapples on me now, but I am still greatly drawn to a good one. If I can magically retire tomorrow, I will not play video games all day long, mostly because my wife won't let me. But what I'm saying is that, when people here talk about having those lonely thoughts when they retire, I just don't see it. When I feel like there is nothing to do, I'll just fire up my PS4 or hop on my PC.

And don't even get me started on online games. My wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't stop playing those.

I'm near your age and when I was growing up would wake up at 3am to play video games, but their addictiveness to me has pretty much gone away at this point

I think the main reason for this is that I feel like the problems and challenges provided by video games are limited and artificial (by the environment and rules that programmers can set up) - whereas the problems you solve in life or at work are so much more complex / realistic. I just don't find that I get the same satisfaction from beating a computer game anymore as I do solving something in the real world. Also, it's extremely rare that I find a computer game these days that isn't some combination of previous games that I've played previously

Once every year or so now, I'll binge for a week or two (and when I do it sucks waking up to go to work), but when I do it's usually some dumb, mindless game that I use to relax

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by fantasytensai » Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:17 am

ynotredrum wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:
delamer wrote:
dacalo wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:I may be a little out of the norm here, but as a thirty year old who was always told (by parents growing up and then by wife after marriage) that I cannot play so much video games, I cannot possibly imagine being bored after retirement....I will finally have all the time in the world to play all the video games that I have shelves because I had to focus on school and career. I can't even fathom the idea of being bored.

Maybe I will think differently as I get older? Or maybe this is a fundamental difference between the previous generation and this generation?
Funny you mention this. I am 37 and I have huge backlog of games I would to complete one day. But with a 5 month old, being a husband, having a career, and also trying to main health with regular exercise, gaming comes distant priority even though it's something I enjoy.

Old enough to be your mother -- my equivalent is books. So many to read, so little time. But even though I love to read, I don't want to do it all my waking hours in retirement.
I understand. But I know some people think that reading is addictive as well, but it is NOTHING compared to video games (in my opinion). There are hundreds of games that, once you pick up, you just cannot put down. I remember when I was around 15 I played video games for 36 hours straight when my parents left me alone for a weekend, pausing only to perform basic human functions.

Of course video games have lessened their grapples on me now, but I am still greatly drawn to a good one. If I can magically retire tomorrow, I will not play video games all day long, mostly because my wife won't let me. But what I'm saying is that, when people here talk about having those lonely thoughts when they retire, I just don't see it. When I feel like there is nothing to do, I'll just fire up my PS4 or hop on my PC.

And don't even get me started on online games. My wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't stop playing those.

I'm near your age and when I was growing up would wake up at 3am to play video games, but their addictiveness to me has pretty much gone away at this point

I think the main reason for this is that I feel like the problems and challenges provided by video games are limited and artificial (by the environment and rules that programmers can set up) - whereas the problems you solve in life or at work are so much more complex / realistic. I just don't find that I get the same satisfaction from beating a computer game anymore as I do solving something in the real world. Also, it's extremely rare that I find a computer game these days that isn't some combination of previous games that I've played previously

Once every year or so now, I'll binge for a week or two (and when I do it sucks waking up to go to work), but when I do it's usually some dumb, mindless game that I use to relax
I know what you mean. But a lot of us are doing mind-numbing work everyday. I know it's taboo to admit but I am purely working to put food on the table. I may have a doctorate degree and a professional license but that doesn't mean I care about doing something meaningful or advancing the world. I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by flamesabers » Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:49 am

fantasytensai wrote:I know what you mean. But a lot of us are doing mind-numbing work everyday. I know it's taboo to admit but I am purely working to put food on the table. I may have a doctorate degree and a professional license but that doesn't mean I care about doing something meaningful or advancing the world. I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
For me I need balance in my life. While I can definitely relate to not wanting to get stuck doing mind-numbing work, I don't think relaxing 24/7 is the answer for me either. When I spend too much time on leisure, I end up feeling restless and concerned that I'm becoming a lazy blob. :(

Eventually I'll want to do and achieve something. This doesn't need to be a 40-hour work week. Instead, it could be volunteering or working on personal projects.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by mak1277 » Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:03 am

fantasytensai wrote:I know what you mean. But a lot of us are doing mind-numbing work everyday. I know it's taboo to admit but I am purely working to put food on the table. I may have a doctorate degree and a professional license but that doesn't mean I care about doing something meaningful or advancing the world. I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
Preach!

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by ThankYouJack » Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:08 am

I'm in my 30's and switched from 1 1/2 jobs to 1 and now just do consulting a few hours a week.
I definitely don't regret reducing down. I never want to work a 40 hour week again in my life and am trying to convince my wife to reduce to part-time too.
I have a young family and a bunch of hobbies and feel that life is too short not to follow what you enjoy most.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by fishandgolf » Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:26 am

.....retired at age 56...........



My wife said "Watcha doing today?"

I said "Nothing"

She said...."You did that yesterday".

I said "I wasn't finished"

fantasytensai
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by fantasytensai » Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:27 am

ThankYouJack wrote:I'm in my 30's and switched from 1 1/2 jobs to 1 and now just do consulting a few hours a week.
I definitely don't regret reducing down. I never want to work a 40 hour week again in my life and am trying to convince my wife to reduce to part-time too.
I have a young family and a bunch of hobbies and feel that life is too short not to follow what you enjoy most.
That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete. I know it's cliche but no one wished at their deathbed that they worked more. "early" retirement is arbitrary. The usual retirement age is set by society as a normal economic standard. However, if you are diligent and lucky enough to be able to hit your target early, why subject yourself to work just because it's the "right" thing to do?

Of course, this is a highly YMMV situation. I definitely won't judge those who find true pleasure in working. On the other hand, I'm also lucky enough to know exactly what I want, and I'm working hard to achieve that. So I guess to answer OP's question, you gotta find out what you want, and what you derive joy from. Soliciting advice from others is helpful, but it will not answer your question.

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:11 am

fishandgolf wrote:.....retired at age 56...........



My wife said "Watcha doing today?"

I said "Nothing"

She said...."You did that yesterday".

I said "I wasn't finished"
I think you just delayed my retirement by at least 18 months. Thanks a lot.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:15 am

fantasytensai wrote:That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete.
fantasytensai wrote: I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by mak1277 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:31 am

TheTimeLord wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete.
fantasytensai wrote: I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:12 am

mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete.
fantasytensai wrote: I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.
Of course there isn't. But I will tell you my experience in life is people who aren't doing the things they dream about, at least to some small extent, while they are working are not going to start just because they do not have to go to work any more. People (myself very much included) have a tendency to idealize the things they fantasize about in their heads and often find the reality to be quite different. I see no positive outcome for individuals reinforcing to themselves that they hate work day after day when they are very likely going to have to go to work for another 10, 20 or 30 years. Why on earth do you want to make yourself miserable for 30 years by concentrating on what you cannot have? If you have a passion that makes you happy, pursue it the best you can during your work years, flame the fire, be that guy who leaves work on Friday fired up to do that thing and is interesting to talk to and returns to work on Monday recharged and looking forward to his next opportunity to pursue his passion. Those people are fun and they make work fun, while people may commiserate with the miserable they don't benefit from being associated with them.
Run, You Clever Boy!

mak1277
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by mak1277 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:23 am

TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete.
fantasytensai wrote: I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.
Of course there isn't. But I will tell you my experience in life is people who aren't doing the things they dream about, at least to some small extent, while they are working are not going to start just because they do not have to go to work any more. People (myself very much included) have a tendency to idealize the things they fantasize about in their heads and often find the reality to be quite different. I see no positive outcome for individuals reinforcing to themselves that they hate work day after day when they are very likely going to have to go to work for another 10, 20 or 30 years. Why on earth do you want to make yourself miserable for 30 years by concentrating on what you cannot have? If you have a passion that makes you happy, pursue it the best you can during your work years, flame the fire, be that guy who leaves work on Friday fired up to do that thing and is interesting to talk to and returns to work on Monday recharged and looking forward to his next opportunity to pursue his passion. Those people are fun and they make work fun, while people may commiserate with the miserable they don't benefit from being associated with them.
I am that guy...I have a number of hobbies that I pursue in my free time. I certainly wish I had more free time to pursue them, though, and wasn't stuck doing what I love only on the weekends.

You seem to be judging his choice of playing video games...why? Just because it doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean it's not a valid pursuit.

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:31 am

mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
fantasytensai wrote:That is so true. I blink once and my life is already 1/3 the way complete.
fantasytensai wrote: I just want to get home after my 9-6 and relax on my couch with a beer and PS4, to the extent my wife allows it. To be able to relax like that 24/7 is just something I cannot see myself hating.
I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.
Of course there isn't. But I will tell you my experience in life is people who aren't doing the things they dream about, at least to some small extent, while they are working are not going to start just because they do not have to go to work any more. People (myself very much included) have a tendency to idealize the things they fantasize about in their heads and often find the reality to be quite different. I see no positive outcome for individuals reinforcing to themselves that they hate work day after day when they are very likely going to have to go to work for another 10, 20 or 30 years. Why on earth do you want to make yourself miserable for 30 years by concentrating on what you cannot have? If you have a passion that makes you happy, pursue it the best you can during your work years, flame the fire, be that guy who leaves work on Friday fired up to do that thing and is interesting to talk to and returns to work on Monday recharged and looking forward to his next opportunity to pursue his passion. Those people are fun and they make work fun, while people may commiserate with the miserable they don't benefit from being associated with them.
I am that guy...I have a number of hobbies that I pursue in my free time. I certainly wish I had more free time to pursue them, though, and wasn't stuck doing what I love only on the weekends.

You seem to be judging his choice of playing video games...why? Just because it doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean it's not a valid pursuit.
His wife seems to be judging it. But yes, I find it ironic to talk about how quickly life passes you by then say all you want to do when you get home is drink beer and play video games, especially if you are married. Now, if he would like to declare video games are his passion in life, great, guessing that is not the actual case just his form of vegging in front of a TV. As he correctly pointed out life goes very fast, so my point is does he really want to use his available free time playing video games or are there greater passions in his life? I love to veg as much as the next guy, watch TV shows and movies I have seen before and find it relaxing but when I objectively look at what I am doing I don't find it to be the way I want to spend my time on this earth.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by fantasytensai » Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:45 am

TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:

I find irony when reading these 2 comments together.
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.
Of course there isn't. But I will tell you my experience in life is people who aren't doing the things they dream about, at least to some small extent, while they are working are not going to start just because they do not have to go to work any more. People (myself very much included) have a tendency to idealize the things they fantasize about in their heads and often find the reality to be quite different. I see no positive outcome for individuals reinforcing to themselves that they hate work day after day when they are very likely going to have to go to work for another 10, 20 or 30 years. Why on earth do you want to make yourself miserable for 30 years by concentrating on what you cannot have? If you have a passion that makes you happy, pursue it the best you can during your work years, flame the fire, be that guy who leaves work on Friday fired up to do that thing and is interesting to talk to and returns to work on Monday recharged and looking forward to his next opportunity to pursue his passion. Those people are fun and they make work fun, while people may commiserate with the miserable they don't benefit from being associated with them.
I am that guy...I have a number of hobbies that I pursue in my free time. I certainly wish I had more free time to pursue them, though, and wasn't stuck doing what I love only on the weekends.

You seem to be judging his choice of playing video games...why? Just because it doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean it's not a valid pursuit.
His wife seems to be judging it. But yes, I find it ironic to talk about how quickly life passes you by then say all you want to do when you get home is drink beer and play video games, especially if you are married. Now, if he would like to declare video games are his passion in life, great, guessing that is not the actual case just his form of vegging in front of a TV. As he correctly pointed out life goes very fast, so my point is does he really want to use his available free time playing video games or are there greater passions in his life? I love to veg as much as the next guy, watch TV shows and movies I have seen before and find it relaxing but when I objectively look at what I am doing I don't find it to be the way I want to spend my time on this earth.
I am not seeing the irony.

The first third of my life passed by way too fast. I spent the majority of it in school, the last few working. School for me was not a general American experience - I went to school in an environment where EVERYTHING was focused on getting the top grades (see tiger mom stories). I love video games but I was given 1 hour a week to play, 2 if I did something good (awards, first in my year, etc.) I remember when I was 15, my parents left town and I picked the locks on the cabinet they stored my PS2 and played for three days straight.

I married while in school. My wife is also an overachiever. After I graduated I immediately started working, and it was always to do well and get paid more, yaddie yadda. I don't want that though. I don't want to make a million bucks and devote my life to my work. Hell, I don't even want to devote 1/3 of my life to work like I am currently doing. All I want is to be able to sit in front of my TV, with no limits, and be able to play my games. And that is why I am working towards financial independence...to be able to do that.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GREATER PASSIONS. If it's there and I find it, great I'll pursue it. If it doesn't come, I have better games to play than to waste time to look for it. There are a lot of people like me. Unfortunately in this day and age this lack of "ambition", "purpose" or "mission" gets you nowhere so everyday we have to pretend we [care --admin LadyGeek]. Good thing I don't have to pretend here :P

Man it feels good to get that off my chest.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by David Jay » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:00 am

msk wrote:Genius is limited, but stupidity is boundless. We upsized after retirement, from circa 3500 sq ft to 14,000. Then two years later all the kids had left home to go off to college. Now there is only DW and myself to share our 5 living/entertainment areas, 2 offices, etc. Ah, we also have staff quarters for a couple live-in help. All silly? Of course, but you can't take it with you! But it does fall into that boundless category. At least we do not have a passion for yachts :beer
boat - noun, definition: A hole in the water into which you pour money.
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future - Niels Bohr | To get the "risk premium", you really do have to take the risk - nisiprius

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by TheTimeLord » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:22 am

fantasytensai wrote: I am not seeing the irony.

The first third of my life passed by way too fast. I spent the majority of it in school, the last few working. School for me was not a general American experience - I went to school in an environment where EVERYTHING was focused on getting the top grades (see tiger mom stories). I love video games but I was given 1 hour a week to play, 2 if I did something good (awards, first in my year, etc.) I remember when I was 15, my parents left town and I picked the locks on the cabinet they stored my PS2 and played for three days straight.

I married while in school. My wife is also an overachiever. After I graduated I immediately started working, and it was always to do well and get paid more, yaddie yadda. I don't want that though. I don't want to make a million bucks and devote my life to my work. Hell, I don't even want to devote 1/3 of my life to work like I am currently doing. All I want is to be able to sit in front of my TV, with no limits, and be able to play my games. And that is why I am working towards financial independence...to be able to do that.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GREATER PASSIONS. If it's there and I find it, great I'll pursue it. If it doesn't come, I have better games to play than to waste time to look for it. There are a lot of people like me. Unfortunately in this day and age this lack of "ambition", "purpose" or "mission" gets you nowhere so everyday we have to pretend we [care --admin LadyGeek]. Good thing I don't have to pretend here :P

Man it feels good to get that off my chest.
If that is the great passion of your life then I hope it works for you. Just would have thought you might have something else you would like to pursue such as music, photography, cycling, hiking, travel or something else.
Run, You Clever Boy!

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by cusetownusa » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:36 am

TheTimeLord wrote:
If that is the great passion of your life then I hope it works for you. Just would have thought you might have something else you would like to pursue such as music, photography, cycling, hiking, travel or something else.

Is there some sort of hierarchy of hobbies based on credibility/importance? I have always just lumped all hobbies together and try to never judge anyone on how they like to spend their free time as long as they aren't hurting anyone. Having this type of mindset has opened up new worlds and experiences for me as I am willing to try new things outside of my comfort zone...unfortunately there are limitless amount of ways to spend your time and just not enough time to do them all.

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Re: Regret early retirement/downsizing

Post by smitcat » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:38 am

fantasytensai wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
TheTimeLord wrote:
mak1277 wrote:
I don't play video games at all really. But I'd much rather play video games than be at work!

There's nothing noble about being judgmental about others' hobbies.
Of course there isn't. But I will tell you my experience in life is people who aren't doing the things they dream about, at least to some small extent, while they are working are not going to start just because they do not have to go to work any more. People (myself very much included) have a tendency to idealize the things they fantasize about in their heads and often find the reality to be quite different. I see no positive outcome for individuals reinforcing to themselves that they hate work day after day when they are very likely going to have to go to work for another 10, 20 or 30 years. Why on earth do you want to make yourself miserable for 30 years by concentrating on what you cannot have? If you have a passion that makes you happy, pursue it the best you can during your work years, flame the fire, be that guy who leaves work on Friday fired up to do that thing and is interesting to talk to and returns to work on Monday recharged and looking forward to his next opportunity to pursue his passion. Those people are fun and they make work fun, while people may commiserate with the miserable they don't benefit from being associated with them.
I am that guy...I have a number of hobbies that I pursue in my free time. I certainly wish I had more free time to pursue them, though, and wasn't stuck doing what I love only on the weekends.

You seem to be judging his choice of playing video games...why? Just because it doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean it's not a valid pursuit.
His wife seems to be judging it. But yes, I find it ironic to talk about how quickly life passes you by then say all you want to do when you get home is drink beer and play video games, especially if you are married. Now, if he would like to declare video games are his passion in life, great, guessing that is not the actual case just his form of vegging in front of a TV. As he correctly pointed out life goes very fast, so my point is does he really want to use his available free time playing video games or are there greater passions in his life? I love to veg as much as the next guy, watch TV shows and movies I have seen before and find it relaxing but when I objectively look at what I am doing I don't find it to be the way I want to spend my time on this earth.
I am not seeing the irony.

The first third of my life passed by way too fast. I spent the majority of it in school, the last few working. School for me was not a general American experience - I went to school in an environment where EVERYTHING was focused on getting the top grades (see tiger mom stories). I love video games but I was given 1 hour a week to play, 2 if I did something good (awards, first in my year, etc.) I remember when I was 15, my parents left town and I picked the locks on the cabinet they stored my PS2 and played for three days straight.

I married while in school. My wife is also an overachiever. After I graduated I immediately started working, and it was always to do well and get paid more, yaddie yadda. I don't want that though. I don't want to make a million bucks and devote my life to my work. Hell, I don't even want to devote 1/3 of my life to work like I am currently doing. All I want is to be able to sit in front of my TV, with no limits, and be able to play my games. And that is why I am working towards financial independence...to be able to do that.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT GREATER PASSIONS. If it's there and I find it, great I'll pursue it. If it doesn't come, I have better games to play than to waste time to look for it. There are a lot of people like me. Unfortunately in this day and age this lack of "ambition", "purpose" or "mission" gets you nowhere so everyday we have to pretend we [care --admin LadyGeek]. Good thing I don't have to pretend here :P

Man it feels good to get that off my chest.
This sounds exactly like you are living for someone else's dreams and pursuing a life that is not yours. I would sincerely encourage you to not have children until you become very comfortable with your own dreams and desires. This is likely a situation that would make some form of counseling a very good and positive future investment - good luck with whatever is important to you.

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