Feeling like you've "made it"

warner25 · Post by **warner25** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:05 pm

***This thread is from 2016. It got resurrected in 2023. So there's some new discussion, and I think the topic is timeless, but I thought I should put a note here because some people were replying to the original post.***

I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

livesoft · Post by **livesoft** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:08 pm

I think it is an age thing. So getting older will cure you of many things, but as you get older you will be afflicted with other things. Enjoy the ride.

travellight · Post by **travellight** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:16 pm

You're only 30!!! I don't think I felt like I "made it" till around 50. Your net worth is much higher than mine was at age 30. Relax, enjoy the ride and enjoy your youth.

mac808 · Post by **mac808** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:27 pm

I think it's a personality trait of ambitious people and thus never goes away completely. It mellows with age. I found that keeping a high savings rate (and low spending rate/avoiding the hedonistic treadmill) was the source of great peace of mind for me as time went on, because I knew that no matter what happened, net worth would keep growing and things would be OK. Look on the bright side, some base level of background anxiety may be motivating you to work harder and achieve goals faster!

PVW · Post by **PVW** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:34 pm

Time.

You might be at a stage that you haven't had time to grow accustomed to your financial state. You are still anticipating big changes and want to be prepared for anything that might happen in the future. Time will tell you if you have a good plan and whether you have properly anticipated the future.

B0bL0blawsLawBl0g · Post by **B0bL0blawsLawBl0g** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:36 pm

I totally relate to this. I'm 34 years old, my wife is 32, and we make about $250-300k/year, save about $70k/yr, and have investments (retirement and otherwise) of about $420k, plus equity in our house of about $200k. Everything seems taken care of. And yet, I have found that I have more financial anxiety now than I did when I first started my career and had $0 to my name.

I think it's a combination of things -- Part of it is anxiety that just when things seem good, that is when it will all slip away. Part of it is anxiety that we need to safeguard what we have built up. And part of it is just normal ambitious anxiety that you always need to strive for bigger, better, more.

"If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?"

Oh dear god I hope not.

Snowjob · Post by **Snowjob** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:41 pm

Similar age (early / mid 30s) and i've gone through a few stages

Early 20's: starting to save early, thinking I was ahead of the game, very (optomistic)
Late 20's: realizing its a terribly long slog and inflation is keeps moving the goal posts (depressed)
Early 30's: achieved enough wealth to feel comfortable enough to not think about money as much and just leave it on auto pilot (content)
Early 30's prt 2: forecasted what it would take to retire early (no pension) and realized each year is exponentially more costly and no matter what I'll probably still retire near everyone else if I keep my job and keep saving (anxiety / depressed again)

Moral of the story: save, then ignore everything and enjoy life, you will be a lot happier. Or if you are still in your early 20's do everything you can to get a job with a government pension cause its a hell of a lot easier for the average worker LOL

Snowjob · Post by **Snowjob** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:43 pm

B0bL0blawsLawBl0g wrote: ...Part of it is anxiety that we need to safeguard what we have built up....

And that is not something entirely under our control =O

FelixTheCat · Post by **FelixTheCat** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:43 pm

The only thing that ever changed my emotions is when I paid off my house. No mortgage still feels good after all of these years.

Hub · Post by **Hub** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:48 pm

I can relate to always peeking my head up at that next tier even after reaching one that I thought would be an achievement for the long haul. I don't feel inadequate along the way, but that higher rung up keeps looking interesting.

I couldn't agree more with the previous poster about an aggressive savings rate providing peace of mind against unsettled ambition to achieve more.

KlangFool · Post by **KlangFool** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:55 pm

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

warner25,

IMHO, it is a question of net worth versus annual expense. I would feel relatively comfortable if my net worth excluding the house is 25-time annual expense.

<<objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate,>>

1) So, by objective measure, you may or may not make it depending on your annual expense.

2) When you say 50% saving rate, what do you mean by that? Is it based on gross income or after tax net income?

KlangFool

munemaker · Post by **munemaker** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:00 pm

We are nearing retirement, and kind of feel like we made it in the sense that our financial goals have been achieved.

Our goals:
1) buy a home and pay off the mortgage
2) put our 2 kids through college without them or us borrowing any money (and they are both 100% self supporting)
3) fund our retirement

Over the years, we worked on these goals simultaneously, and as they have been achieved, we increasingly feel like we have made it.

On nonfinancial matters, I have never been out of work or asked to leave a job, am still married to the same woman and our health is good.

The term "made it" is relative, of course. Some people may need a fancier house, kids with an ivy league education or a more extravagant retirement to feel like they made it.

bigred77 · Post by **bigred77** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:02 pm

I am of very similar age/stats...

Welcome to the "ambitious yuppie millennial" club where we get together to vent about our first world problems and anxieties

Common topics of conversation include "I still can't seem to move into management because these darn older workers will NEVER retire", "It's so unfair that our parents got to invest through one of the greatest bull markets in history and we're staring at dismal predictions for future investment returns", and "If I'm not a multimillionaire by 40 then I consider myself a failure"

tyrion · Post by **tyrion** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:04 pm

Are you the sole bread winner? That can cause some anxiety, as you and your wife are now accustomed to a certain lifestyle and there is some fear that it could all go away if you lost your job.

I spent about 15 years as the primary breadwinner, including a number of years supporting 2 small kids. Now my wife is back working and I feel a lot of relief that we could survive on her salary if we had to. It would mean zero additional retirement savings, a reduction in discretionary spending, and perhaps some minor use of nest egg funds. But it wouldn't be catastrophic. We would have income, health care, could pay our mortgage, etc.

I will also agree with the others that having substantial savings helps ease your mind over time.

Dandy · Post by **Dandy** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:10 pm

I think it really gets back to those measures of success e.g. career and finances don't necessarily make us happy or satisfied. In many cases they really are more to serve as a means to an end but have become ends in themselves. People and making a difference seem to be keys. In some jobs you can really make a difference but many don't have that. Family?, a cause? personal growth? Maybe you are saving too much and have to enjoy the journey more.

Good luck

Pacman · Post by **Pacman** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:16 pm

Same age and stats here. I feel like I have been in 'coasting' mode lately and am trying really hard to snap out of it. The issue is that I hit income and career milestones quicker than I thought, and now any further goals I set in those arenas seem sort of arbitrary.

Toons · Post by **Toons** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:17 pm

When I realized we could retire
Pension ,Social Security,Capital Gains,,,dividends would be more than enough,fortunately to provide us with a comfortable existence,
No need to sell any investments .

HomerJ · Post by **HomerJ** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:19 pm

I think it's matter of age, and locking down your spending. If you don't have kids yet, or young kids, or have goals to increase your lifestyle, it's hard to know how much you will need.

In my 30s, my wife and I were doing well, making good money, saving a lot, so we felt pretty good, but we hadn't "made it" yet. We had two kids about to hit college, plus a young third child.

But all the savings paid off... At 43, we had paid off the house, the two older kids were out or almost out of college, and we were happy with our lifestyle that gave us everything we wanted. So we were able to do the math, and figure out that we didn't even need to save that much more to be able to retire around 55.

That financial freedom allowed my wife to quit a job she hated. And what's interesting... that's when we felt like we had "made it", even though our income had just been cut in half. Because we didn't NEED it. We were going to be okay without it. She took a year off, and later found another job at half the salary, but half the hours, and one-quarter of the stress. But that's just gravy.

The real trick is NOT increasing your lifestyle every time you get a raise or promotion. 500k is amazing savings for a 30-year old. But not if you spend $300k a year. Once you have an idea of how much your desired lifestyle costs, you'll have a better idea of what you need to sustain it. And once you get even somewhat close to that number, you'll probably feel like you "made it".

warner25 · Post by **warner25** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:26 pm

B0bL0blawsLawBl0g wrote:...I have found that I have more financial anxiety now than I did when I first started my career and had $0 to my name.

This is a big part of what bothers me. At 22, when I had much less, I didn't really worry. I was very confident. So why do I now see risk and potential failure all around me? Was I just oblivious back then? Of course that was before having kids, before thinking about the possibility of getting laid-off, etc.

KlangFool wrote:When you say 50% saving rate, what do you mean by that? Is it based on gross income or after tax net income?

I earned about $90k this year from employment, after tax, and we put about $45k into savings. Some years the rate was higher. Next year it will be lower, more like $100k and $35k. After that, who knows.

tyrion wrote:Are you the sole bread winner?

Yes, and I think you're right about that as a source of stress.

TRC · Post by **TRC** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:31 pm

Go easy on yourself, though I'm guilty of the same self-criticism. If it makes you feel any better, my NW was about the same back in 2009 when I was 31. I'm about to turn 39 and it's just crossed 2.1M. It's amazing how quickly it can grow if you stay diligent to your habits.

KlangFool · Post by **KlangFool** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:07 pm

warner25 wrote:
KlangFool wrote:When you say 50% saving rate, what do you mean by that? Is it based on gross income or after tax net income?
I earned about $90k this year from employment, after tax, and we put about $45k into savings. Some years the rate was higher. Next year it will be lower, more like $100k and $35k. After that, who knows.

warner25,

I was the sole provider for my household. I was unemployed for 1 year. My son went to college that year and my daughter will be going the following year. With my lifetime 30+% gross income saving rate, I survived. I was about 17 times my annual expense.

KlangFool

dognose · Post by **dognose** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:27 pm

I have a business associate who has a great expression about people who think they have it made. She says: get over yourself, and move forward. So get over yourself, and move forward.

SQRT · Post by **SQRT** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:40 pm

travellight wrote:You're only 30!!! I don't think I felt like I "made it" till around 50. Your net worth is much higher than mine was at age 30. Relax, enjoy the ride and enjoy your youth.

My thoughts exactly. Things will be fine. When I was 30 my net worth was maybe $25,000!

Grateful1 · Post by **Grateful1** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:42 pm

Relax, congratulate yourself on your progress, and move on. Life really is about the journey, not the destination.
Have a good ride.

michaeljc70 · Post by **michaeljc70** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:49 pm

Everyone's idea of making it is different. Everyone has different standards of living. And standards period. It all depends on your goals. You are doing better than most for sure. If you have reasonable expectations, it sounds like you'll meet them. Not much info to go on. Like income, retirement goals, etc.

Sandtrap · Post by **Sandtrap** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:53 pm

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

Perhaps not "insecurity" as much as "cautious maturity" and awareness of one's position in the bigger scope of things (including risk) == Reality Check.

And, a healthier and more realistic outlook as well as a redefinition of "success" and "risk" as they relate to yourself and your family.

Personally, I don't think it's a matter of "feelings" which is transitive, or "made it", or "won the game", which is unique to everyone at any moment in time. It's just a journey and a fun challenge. Even with a net worth in the 7 figures or more

, it wouldn't be fun anymore to not want to "level up".

Fallible · Post by **Fallible** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:54 pm

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

Concerns about the financial future are unlikely to ever go completely away because new challenges good and bad will likely pop up in the many years you and your wife have ahead of you. That's life. But your references to worry, anxiety, feeling pressure, insecurity, screwing up, and facing long-term financial struggle seem an overreaction for someone with your net worth at a young age. Trying to understand these feelings would be more helpful than wondering whether you've "made it" at 30. How does your wife feel about it all?

hawkfan55 · Post by **hawkfan55** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:27 pm

Relax, it's good to save for your future but don't forget to enjoy life along the way. Do you have children? If you do or will, you already or probably know how expensive they can be. "Feeling like you've made it" means that you are making progress towards your savings goals. There's nothing like success to encourage you towards more success. Just make sure your wife feels the same. Don't be afraid to take a nice vacation together or go out to a nice dinner together to celebrate your successes along the way.

bigcmagor · Post by **bigcmagor** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 7:27 pm

It's all semantics. Right now, you've got it made. In a decade on your current trajectory, you will have "made it". As others have said, don't wish life away for the destination. It goes fast enough as it is.

remomnyc · Post by **remomnyc** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:04 pm

I feel far more stressed and anxious now than I did when I was penniless and in debt in my 20s and early 30s, despite having nearly 25x expenses in investible assets. For me, it is the responsibility of taking care of children and parents. Having others rely on me means not being able to quit a job I don't like or taking time off when I feel like it. I was happier with less. Now, I need more to make me happy.

White Coat Investor · Post by **White Coat Investor** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:56 pm

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

When I got out of med school and started getting a regular paycheck ($37K a year) and my wife started getting a full-time teacher's salary (about the same) we really felt like we had money coming out of our ears. We had definitely made it. We were paying off debt, investing, going to Hawaii....it was awesome!

Reminds me of a post written by Stephen Nelson on his blog recently about feeling rich and how many rich people don't feel rich:

http://evergreensmallbusiness.com/feel- ... ing-essay/

warner25 · Post by **warner25** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:46 pm

I appreciate all the replies, but I think some have misinterpreted my admittedly ambiguous words. I'm not talking about "feeling rich," just "relieved of stress, knowing that things will be OK." Or maybe those notions are the same?

I'm very happy to live modestly (by American standards, anyway, spending less than a median household). I just want to feel like we have enough savings and/or human capital to weather any economic storm we might encounter. And I'm wondering if maybe I'll just never get there in my own mind.

saltycaper · Post by **saltycaper** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 10:20 pm

warner25 wrote:
I just want to feel like we have enough savings and/or human capital to weather any economic storm we might encounter. And I'm wondering if maybe I'll just never get there in my own mind.

I think the overwhelming majority of the population never gets there, unless they are in denial. The best most people can do, including nearly all of the people who post on this board--if they're being honest with themselves--is know that they are (slightly/much/exceedingly) better off than most people who are going through a similar economic storm. I'm not trying to be negative. The key, IMO, is to accept uncertainty and let go of the desire for total security.

basspond · Post by **basspond** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 11:24 pm

If you have the main things in your life secure, money security will closely follow. For perspective money is about 4th on my list.

mlebuf · Post by **mlebuf** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 11:52 pm

warner25 wrote:II know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future.

You both are off to a great start, but it's far too young to declare that you have made it. You are like a football team in the second quarter with a good lead and seem to be in control of the game. You are winning the financial independence bowl but it's not even halftime yet. Rather than worrying and feeling anxious, just keep doing what you are doing and let the future take care of itself. You know what to do and all you have to do is keep doing it. According to this calculator, you are doing better than over 95 percent of people in your age bracket: http://dqydj.com/net-worth-by-age-calcu ... ed-states/

Good luck.

alec · Post by **alec** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 6:29 am

warner25 wrote:I appreciate all the replies, but I think some have misinterpreted my admittedly ambiguous words. I'm not talking about "feeling rich," just "relieved of stress, knowing that things will be OK." Or maybe those notions are the same?

I'm very happy to live modestly (by American standards, anyway, spending less than a median household). I just want to feel like we have enough savings and/or human capital to weather any economic storm we might encounter. And I'm wondering if maybe I'll just never get there in my own mind.

My wife was reading your post over my shoulder and said "welcome to being an adult" and "wait until you have kids". LOL.

Seriously though, there is only so much that you can control, and it sounds like you're doing about the best that you can do. My 30s was when I had to deal with a lot of adult stuff, and now that I'm in my 40s, all that stuff is easier to deal with. Plus I run a lot

Texas Radio · Post by **Texas Radio** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 8:19 am

FelixTheCat wrote:The only thing that ever changed my emotions is when I paid off my house. No mortgage still feels good after all of these years.

Yep. Every time I go through the anxious calculation about where we are financially I breathe a sigh of relief that both my present and prior residences are paid off. Then I tell myself the problem is me not my finances.

gmc4h232 · Post by **gmc4h232** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 8:46 am

I am in a similar boat, and I would argue that this "anxiety" that you speak of has contributed to your high savings rate and helped you get to your current "very good shape" status. If you didn't feel as anxious as you were, I doubt you would be as well off from a financial standpoint. I think as long as you are in the accumulation phase and have people relying on you, that anxiety will always be there.

Reaching different milestones in life will bring with them different anxieties. This particular anxiety is minor compared to some others that come to mind. Take kidney stones for example - I guarantee you will not feel insecure about your finances while you have a kidney stone. That insecurity comes later when the hospital bill arrives...

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:06 am

I really like what gmc4h232 said. We are in the same boat (35, $500k NW) and what I think it is is the lean living and somewhat of a healthy underlying anxiety about spending has not only got us there, but it will keep us there.

There was a thread earlier this week on putting in effort to save money. While I think that it can be a fine line between being frugal and miserly, I do still think that an attention to those details can just kind of keep you focused on a long-range goal.

keystone · Post by **keystone** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:17 am

gmc4h232 wrote:I am in a similar boat, and I would argue that this "anxiety" that you speak of has contributed to your high savings rate and helped you get to your current "very good shape" status. If you didn't feel as anxious as you were, I doubt you would be as well off from a financial standpoint.

Agreed. It's the people who don't have anxiety over these things who are more likely to get into financial difficulty.

I can definitely relate to the OP. I have had nights within the last 6 months where I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about money and whether we were spending too much. If most people knew that I had a 7 figure portfolio and worried about a 4K credit card bill they would think I'm nuts (and maybe I am). But then I remind myself that a) this anxiety is probably what got me here in the first place and b) it's a marathon and not a sprint and c) as long as the net worth is going up over time, everything will be ok financially.

SouthernCPA · Post by **SouthernCPA** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:24 am

You'll never feel like you've "made it." LIfe is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the ride and don't obsess over money/net worth. In the end, we all end up 6 feet under.

knpstr · Post by **knpstr** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:25 am

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future.

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

I would think that once you ARE independently financially secure, that aspect of security should be established. I don't know that you are financially independent at this point. Doing well, while great, is still NOT security.

However, once you are financially secure, there will be plenty of other things to feel insecure about.

Taylor Larimore · Post by **Taylor Larimore** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:39 am

warner25 wrote:I'm worried about my financial future at a point when I thought such anxieties would go away. I'm 30, my wife is 28, and I know we're in very good shape by any objective measure: educated, good health, $500k net worth, 50% savings rate, and I recently hit a target in my career that should set me up for more success in the future. A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

Warner:

I never had the "worry" feelings you expressed. Maybe it is because I always had a loving family that I knew would take care of me; maybe it is from being a WWII veteran and being grateful for just being alive; maybe it is from being among the really poor people in this world during three trips around the world; maybe it is because I know the U.S. government will feed and shelter me (and my family) if we are destitute.

If you are a U.S. citizen in good health, don't worry; be thankful.

Best wishes
Taylor

investingdad · Post by **investingdad** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:51 am

I understand what the OP is talking about.

I suspect those that feel this way, myself included at times, do so as a function of age.

When you are on the younger side, there is a much longer period of time to plan for. And longer timeframe means more time for things to go sideways. I think early financial success also pushes people to think early retirement, so people in their 30s and 40s are planning the way those in their 50s or 60s are planning and feeling a time crunch that's been artificially created.

new2bogle · Post by **new2bogle** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:03 am

Completely understand OP. We are late 30s, 3 kids, about $600k. I always feel like something could happen at any time. That's why we live on a strict budget. I think if I didn't have kids I'd feel way different (and they are also a huge money drain).

new2bogle · Post by **new2bogle** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:07 am

Taylor Larimore wrote: I never had the "worry" feelings you expressed. Maybe it is because I always had a loving family that I knew would take care of me; maybe it is from being a WWII veteran and being grateful for just being alive; maybe it is from being among the really poor people in this world during three trips around the world; maybe it is because I know the U.S. government will feed and shelter me (and my family) if we are destitute.

If you are a U.S. citizen in good health, don't worry; be thankful.

Best wishes
Taylor

Thank you for your service. I've always noticed that the WWII vets I meet (fewer and fewer now) have a different view of the world, in a positive way.

Taylor Larimore wrote: maybe it is because I know the U.S. government will feed and shelter me (and my family) if we are destitute.

Not sure how much longer this will last - our fellow citizens seem to think differently.

rmelvey · Post by **rmelvey** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:07 am

I am 25 and going through a similar issue. My assets have reached the point where they around 1x my annual income, which is enough to feel the ups and downs, but not nearly enough to fuel any extended time out of work.

I think the best way to think about it when you are still young is that even if retirement is out of sight, your assets right now allow you to live a little bit better. The saving you have already done allow you to live a bit more in the moment than you could if you had saved nothing. It doesn't have to be a binary retirement/non-retirement status.

It's important to enjoy yourself today.

White Coat Investor · Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:10 am

warner25 wrote:I appreciate all the replies, but I think some have misinterpreted my admittedly ambiguous words. I'm not talking about "feeling rich," just "relieved of stress, knowing that things will be OK." Or maybe those notions are the same?

I'm very happy to live modestly (by American standards, anyway, spending less than a median household). I just want to feel like we have enough savings and/or human capital to weather any economic storm we might encounter. And I'm wondering if maybe I'll just never get there in my own mind.

Yes, the notions are the same. If you're rich, you don't worry about money. If you don't worry about money, you're rich!

I think you're looking for security from money that doesn't actually come from money. As Carl Richards tweeted this week:

If your sense of security comes from $$, no amount of $$ will make you feel secure.

The anxiety you speak of is what will eventually make you the richest guy in the graveyard. I doubt that's your goal if you really stop to think about it.

stoptothink · Post by **stoptothink** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:13 am

michaeljc70 wrote:Everyone's idea of making it is different. Everyone has different standards of living. And standards period. It all depends on your goals. You are doing better than most for sure. If you have reasonable expectations, it sounds like you'll meet them.

Exactly. Based upon the fact that we are above the poverty line, in both of our families, my wife and I "have made it." We own a home and have retirement savings, two things that our parents (nearly 60) can't say now and that a single one of our 8 siblings can say. We're pretty close in age (I am 35, wife is 30) and you are actually doing slightly better than us from a networth standpoint (a pair of divorces and 11yrs of university education will do that), but we feel positively wealthy.

rbaldini · Post by **rbaldini** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:19 am

warner25 wrote:A few years ago I would have thought that this is very close to "making it," but now I just feel pressure to capitalize on it, perform better, learn more, or else screw it up and face long-term financial struggle. Maybe this is impostor syndrome(?)

If you've dealt with this before, what helped you feel better?

If you feel you have "made it", "won the game", etc., at what point in your life and career did you actually start to feel that way?

If I feel insecure now, am I bound to always feel this way?

I don't think you should strive to feel that you've made it. That sounds like a recipe for complacency, for ceasing personal and professional growth. This would be an especially bad thing at age 30. Given your success, you should feel confident and emboldened. You probably shouldn't feel insecure (because you aren't insecure, financially speaking), but IMO don't strive to be done when your life is about 1/3 through.

EDIT: And, of course, if you take "made it" to mean "no longer having to be concerned about finances", then obviously you haven't made it. You certainly don't have to worry as much as most other people in the world, but you're not done.