Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Here's my career dilemma. I apologize for writing War and Peace! I just wanted to get my thoughts on the screen and see if anyone has any thoughts.
I took a federal government job about a year and a half ago in work that was completely different than what I had done in the past. Now, I find myself completely unhappy and unfulfilled at work. The work is boring and tedious and perhaps more importantly I realize that I simply don't have the skill set to really thrive and enjoy or even really tolerate the work for that matter. The job is just a major mismatch between my skills, abilities, natural talent. I excelled in my previous job and would like to go back to that work. Why did I take this federal job in the first place? Great benefits, a shorter commute, nice advancement opportunities. All of this has turned out to be true, however I just really don't like the work. To compound the problem, I am now being trained in a new area, by a person who can be over bearing, moody and at times somewhat condescending. Some days, my trainer is in a great mood, others she is frankly just a real witch to work with. On any given day, I don't know what I'm going to get.
Here are a few of my options
Option A
Fortunately, I do have other options. In fact, I still work part time free lance in my previous type position about 10-20 hours a week and earn decent money doing so as an Independent Government Contractor. I enjoy the work most days. I cannot say that about my current federal job. I could potentially leave my secure Federal job and ramp this Government Contractor to full time. As far as compensation goes, I believe that I could earn the +/- 10% of what I'm currently earning. Obviously, I would lose the federal benefits and unfortunately the pension plan as well. I am not naive to this fact. Also, I must add the fact that work as a self employed person, of course, is not secure and guaranteed. I will say that, however, I do have a great deal of knowledge in this industry (my self employed work) and the work has been very steady the last six years that I've been in and around it. There is a few weeks out of the year that are slower than the rest, but often times, I have 40-60+ hours of work available if I want it. Please note, the results of the upcoming Presidential election would not have any impact on my future work load.
One last important fact- our finances are such that we could meet all obligations on my wife's income alone, however we would not be able to put away anything towards retirement.
Option B
This would involve relocating completely to a Federal government position (another agency) in another part of the country in the job specialty that I like (the job I currently do as an Independent Government Contractor on the side). This would be a bold move. I am up for it, but admittedly it is a bit scary. My parents are close by and I think right or wrong, they would give me a guilt trip about leaving. Positions do seem to open up every now and then. This is especially attractive to me because I would be in the career that I want, with excellent job security and benefits. Additionally, there are very nice exciting voluntary travel opportunities that I could take. The downside to this and its not a small one is that I'd have to leave family, who are now only 10 minutes from me. I'd rather not leave family if possible, but think I'd be willing to do so to get into work I enjoy. ''
Option C
In an ideal world, I would do the work I like as a Federal Government employee right where I am. Of course, I don't know how long it will take for more Federal positions to open in my local area for the job I want. Who knows how long this might take if it happens at all? If I'd be willing to relocate, I could get into the career I want faster. Later on, it is very likely that I could transfer back to my current area. Of course, this would involve my wife having to move twice! She is open to the idea as she is not fond of where we currently live and her job is such that she can move to any mid major city and get work fairly easily. Option C is that I could do Independent Government Contract work and hope that a Federal opportunity in the work I like becomes available and that I actually get the job. In the past 36 months, this job has come available about once every year in the Federal Government. No guarantees that it will continue to do so of course.
Additional Considerations:
Early 30's
Pretty strong financial position
Wife is in second trimester with our first
My mother in law will be moving in with us or in separate quarters on our property.
Thank you for reading and I appreciate any input.
I took a federal government job about a year and a half ago in work that was completely different than what I had done in the past. Now, I find myself completely unhappy and unfulfilled at work. The work is boring and tedious and perhaps more importantly I realize that I simply don't have the skill set to really thrive and enjoy or even really tolerate the work for that matter. The job is just a major mismatch between my skills, abilities, natural talent. I excelled in my previous job and would like to go back to that work. Why did I take this federal job in the first place? Great benefits, a shorter commute, nice advancement opportunities. All of this has turned out to be true, however I just really don't like the work. To compound the problem, I am now being trained in a new area, by a person who can be over bearing, moody and at times somewhat condescending. Some days, my trainer is in a great mood, others she is frankly just a real witch to work with. On any given day, I don't know what I'm going to get.
Here are a few of my options
Option A
Fortunately, I do have other options. In fact, I still work part time free lance in my previous type position about 10-20 hours a week and earn decent money doing so as an Independent Government Contractor. I enjoy the work most days. I cannot say that about my current federal job. I could potentially leave my secure Federal job and ramp this Government Contractor to full time. As far as compensation goes, I believe that I could earn the +/- 10% of what I'm currently earning. Obviously, I would lose the federal benefits and unfortunately the pension plan as well. I am not naive to this fact. Also, I must add the fact that work as a self employed person, of course, is not secure and guaranteed. I will say that, however, I do have a great deal of knowledge in this industry (my self employed work) and the work has been very steady the last six years that I've been in and around it. There is a few weeks out of the year that are slower than the rest, but often times, I have 40-60+ hours of work available if I want it. Please note, the results of the upcoming Presidential election would not have any impact on my future work load.
One last important fact- our finances are such that we could meet all obligations on my wife's income alone, however we would not be able to put away anything towards retirement.
Option B
This would involve relocating completely to a Federal government position (another agency) in another part of the country in the job specialty that I like (the job I currently do as an Independent Government Contractor on the side). This would be a bold move. I am up for it, but admittedly it is a bit scary. My parents are close by and I think right or wrong, they would give me a guilt trip about leaving. Positions do seem to open up every now and then. This is especially attractive to me because I would be in the career that I want, with excellent job security and benefits. Additionally, there are very nice exciting voluntary travel opportunities that I could take. The downside to this and its not a small one is that I'd have to leave family, who are now only 10 minutes from me. I'd rather not leave family if possible, but think I'd be willing to do so to get into work I enjoy. ''
Option C
In an ideal world, I would do the work I like as a Federal Government employee right where I am. Of course, I don't know how long it will take for more Federal positions to open in my local area for the job I want. Who knows how long this might take if it happens at all? If I'd be willing to relocate, I could get into the career I want faster. Later on, it is very likely that I could transfer back to my current area. Of course, this would involve my wife having to move twice! She is open to the idea as she is not fond of where we currently live and her job is such that she can move to any mid major city and get work fairly easily. Option C is that I could do Independent Government Contract work and hope that a Federal opportunity in the work I like becomes available and that I actually get the job. In the past 36 months, this job has come available about once every year in the Federal Government. No guarantees that it will continue to do so of course.
Additional Considerations:
Early 30's
Pretty strong financial position
Wife is in second trimester with our first
My mother in law will be moving in with us or in separate quarters on our property.
Thank you for reading and I appreciate any input.
- LAlearning
- Posts: 1365
- Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 12:26 pm
- Location: Los Angeles
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
ill summarize: you sound conflicted. you should find what makes you happy, because if you dont, nothing will change. good luck with the baby!
I know nothing!
- jabberwockOG
- Posts: 3084
- Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 7:23 am
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Sounds like you at stuck locally given wife is expecting and you are going to get free live-in childcare from grandmother. That's worth a lot. I assume your wife also works which is why you need live in childcare.
Life is way too long to stay in a job you dislike. Make sure your management knows you are wanting to make a position change, take on more responsibilities, learn something new, etc. And apply for other local jobs and interview regularly. Be careful and be patient but work hard at looking for other opportunities and keep your skill set super sharp and current, and something better will likely come along.
Life is way too long to stay in a job you dislike. Make sure your management knows you are wanting to make a position change, take on more responsibilities, learn something new, etc. And apply for other local jobs and interview regularly. Be careful and be patient but work hard at looking for other opportunities and keep your skill set super sharp and current, and something better will likely come along.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
I would not be pursuing any change in employment until after the baby arrives. Having the medical insurance for the hospitalization and birth is hugely important, and your wife probably already has relationships with an Ob/Gyn and pediatrician in place.
Once the baby is here, I'd look to transfer to the federal job with the specialty you like. Yes, it's scary to leave the family and town you're in, but there's a larger pursuit here that will allow you to define your life for years to come, in a positive way.
If you're in your early 30's, that means your parents are probably in their 60's - still mobile, with no huge health issues. That will change. So it's a much better proposition to leave now, allow them to get an alternative support system in place that doesn't place all of the burden on you, and allows you to get both the job and the benefits/security you want.
In 10 years, you can probably maneuver yourself back to your parents' town - which is when they'll *really* need you.
This plan allows everyone some of what they want - safe baby and insurance coverage for your wife; the career trajectory and benefits you want; and you around for your parents when they will really need you all close by.
Once the baby is here, I'd look to transfer to the federal job with the specialty you like. Yes, it's scary to leave the family and town you're in, but there's a larger pursuit here that will allow you to define your life for years to come, in a positive way.
If you're in your early 30's, that means your parents are probably in their 60's - still mobile, with no huge health issues. That will change. So it's a much better proposition to leave now, allow them to get an alternative support system in place that doesn't place all of the burden on you, and allows you to get both the job and the benefits/security you want.
In 10 years, you can probably maneuver yourself back to your parents' town - which is when they'll *really* need you.
This plan allows everyone some of what they want - safe baby and insurance coverage for your wife; the career trajectory and benefits you want; and you around for your parents when they will really need you all close by.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Considering the deep unhappiness you describe, you really can't remain in your current job, either for your own good or for others around you who likely sense your feelings and may be affected by them. The options you've nicely laid out seem quite thorough and it's now a matter of what the final decision should be based on. That, of course, is entirely up to you and your family. But do move on as soon as you can.
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Thanks LA Learning.LAlearning wrote:ill summarize: you sound conflicted. you should find what makes you happy, because if you dont, nothing will change. good luck with the baby!
Certainly conflicted. Starting to realize that all of my options involve some fairly tough trade offs. Agreed that I'll have to make a move as staying in current position is not an option.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Thanks Jabberwock.jabberwockOG wrote:Sounds like you at stuck locally given wife is expecting and you are going to get free live-in childcare from grandmother. That's worth a lot. I assume your wife also works which is why you need live in childcare.
Life is way too long to stay in a job you dislike. Make sure your management knows you are wanting to make a position change, take on more responsibilities, learn something new, etc. And apply for other local jobs and interview regularly. Be careful and be patient but work hard at looking for other opportunities and keep your skill set super sharp and current, and something better will likely come along.
We are actually fortunate to not be totally stuck locally. As it happens, my mother-in-law living on the other side of the country wants to be a live-in type nanny and is more than willing to move where ever we do if we choose to do that.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Thanks Sandi.Sandi_k wrote:I would not be pursuing any change in employment until after the baby arrives. Having the medical insurance for the hospitalization and birth is hugely important, and your wife probably already has relationships with an Ob/Gyn and pediatrician in place.
Once the baby is here, I'd look to transfer to the federal job with the specialty you like. Yes, it's scary to leave the family and town you're in, but there's a larger pursuit here that will allow you to define your life for years to come, in a positive way.
If you're in your early 30's, that means your parents are probably in their 60's - still mobile, with no huge health issues. That will change. So it's a much better proposition to leave now, allow them to get an alternative support system in place that doesn't place all of the burden on you, and allows you to get both the job and the benefits/security you want.
In 10 years, you can probably maneuver yourself back to your parents' town - which is when they'll *really* need you.
This plan allows everyone some of what they want - safe baby and insurance coverage for your wife; the career trajectory and benefits you want; and you around for your parents when they will really need you all close by.
Definitely agree about wife not changing employment for insurance reasons. Beyond that, we also want to take advantage of the maternity leave (~2 months paid,1 month unpaid) after the pregnancy.
But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
Very good point about parents. They are in their 30's and presently in very good health. We could leave within a year perhaps. Transfer back in 5-10 years when they perhaps will need me more. That is a possibility for sure. Also, wife and I would be more than willing to spend a large chunk of our leave returning to see my parents.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
That idea assumes that your wife and her pregnancy and the delivery and the new baby remain healthy, easy, and straightforward. It also assumes your wife doesn't mind being left alone at the end of her pregnancy. And that she and the baby will be prepared to move household (pack, unpack, etc while caring for a newborn), and then she'll be ready to job search right after relocating.Gardener wrote: But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
I'm not saying it can't work, but that's an awful lot of assumptions. Talk to your wife in detail about all sorts of what ifs before pursuing this one.
best wishes,
cj
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Thank you Fallible.Fallible wrote:Considering the deep unhappiness you describe, you really can't remain in your current job, either for your own good or for others around you who likely sense your feelings and may be affected by them. The options you've nicely laid out seem quite thorough and it's now a matter of what the final decision should be based on. That, of course, is entirely up to you and your family. But do move on as soon as you can.
Very fair point about people around me being affected. And I'm sure it happens even though its totally unintended.
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Thanks CJ- As I was thinking and typing those sentences, it did seem like a lot would have to go right to pull that off. And in the midst of that, we'd probably be selling the house. She would have her mother there with her, but I'm sure my wife would prefer that I'm there.clip651 wrote:That idea assumes that your wife and her pregnancy and the delivery and the new baby remain healthy, easy, and straightforward. It also assumes your wife doesn't mind being left alone at the end of her pregnancy. And that she and the baby will be prepared to move household (pack, unpack, etc while caring for a newborn), and then she'll be ready to job search right after relocating.Gardener wrote: But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
I'm not saying it can't work, but that's an awful lot of assumptions. Talk to your wife in detail about all sorts of what ifs before pursuing this one.
best wishes,
cj
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Ha! It's not only about expecting things to go right - it's that you wouldn't be there to do the work that the two of you should be handling as a team. That would seriously p*ss me off, if I were your wife. And having my mother there? Ready to offer advice about everything, including, birth, recuperation, real estate, finances, and how I'm not packing the kitchen properly?!
I'm just saying, that is NOT a scenario that I personally find to be kind to your wife in any way.
You're a team now - you can't go haring off on a new job, probably with pretty clear probationary requirements (and NO FMLA eligibility in your first year, should, G*d forbid, anything go wrong with the birth!).
This is a choice. You have a clear path forward. You don't have to burn down the house on your way out.
Sandi
I'm just saying, that is NOT a scenario that I personally find to be kind to your wife in any way.
You're a team now - you can't go haring off on a new job, probably with pretty clear probationary requirements (and NO FMLA eligibility in your first year, should, G*d forbid, anything go wrong with the birth!).
This is a choice. You have a clear path forward. You don't have to burn down the house on your way out.
Sandi
Gardener wrote:Thanks CJ- As I was thinking and typing those sentences, it did seem like a lot would have to go right to pull that off. And in the midst of that, we'd probably be selling the house. She would have her mother there with her, but I'm sure my wife would prefer that I'm there.clip651 wrote:That idea assumes that your wife and her pregnancy and the delivery and the new baby remain healthy, easy, and straightforward. It also assumes your wife doesn't mind being left alone at the end of her pregnancy. And that she and the baby will be prepared to move household (pack, unpack, etc while caring for a newborn), and then she'll be ready to job search right after relocating.Gardener wrote: But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
I'm not saying it can't work, but that's an awful lot of assumptions. Talk to your wife in detail about all sorts of what ifs before pursuing this one.
best wishes,
cj
Re: Unhappy with job, thoughts on my options?
Very valid points. It would be a lot to ask of my wife. And somehow you already know how my wife and her mother interact! Taking the scenario one step farther, I'd have to probably request 1 month off, 2 weeks before baby due date so I don't miss delivery, and 2 weeks paternity leave (i could be wrong, but I believe I still get this in federal govt even if under a yr), which might not ingratiate myself to the new agency.
Just thinking out loud, waiting until baby arrives to pursue a possible relocation will have its challenges too. But, agree that it will be far easier than trying to solo relocate before baby arrives.
quote="Sandi_k"]Ha! It's not only about expecting things to go right - it's that you wouldn't be there to do the work that the two of you should be handling as a team. That would seriously p*ss me off, if I were your wife. And having my mother there? Ready to offer advice about everything, including, birth, recuperation, real estate, finances, and how I'm not packing the kitchen properly?!
I'm just saying, that is NOT a scenario that I personally find to be kind to your wife in any way.
You're a team now - you can't go haring off on a new job, probably with pretty clear probationary requirements (and NO FMLA eligibility in your first year, should, G*d forbid, anything go wrong with the birth!).
This is a choice. You have a clear path forward. You don't have to burn down the house on your way out.
Sandi
Just thinking out loud, waiting until baby arrives to pursue a possible relocation will have its challenges too. But, agree that it will be far easier than trying to solo relocate before baby arrives.
quote="Sandi_k"]Ha! It's not only about expecting things to go right - it's that you wouldn't be there to do the work that the two of you should be handling as a team. That would seriously p*ss me off, if I were your wife. And having my mother there? Ready to offer advice about everything, including, birth, recuperation, real estate, finances, and how I'm not packing the kitchen properly?!
I'm just saying, that is NOT a scenario that I personally find to be kind to your wife in any way.
You're a team now - you can't go haring off on a new job, probably with pretty clear probationary requirements (and NO FMLA eligibility in your first year, should, G*d forbid, anything go wrong with the birth!).
This is a choice. You have a clear path forward. You don't have to burn down the house on your way out.
Sandi
[/quote]Gardener wrote:Thanks CJ- As I was thinking and typing those sentences, it did seem like a lot would have to go right to pull that off. And in the midst of that, we'd probably be selling the house. She would have her mother there with her, but I'm sure my wife would prefer that I'm there.clip651 wrote:That idea assumes that your wife and her pregnancy and the delivery and the new baby remain healthy, easy, and straightforward. It also assumes your wife doesn't mind being left alone at the end of her pregnancy. And that she and the baby will be prepared to move household (pack, unpack, etc while caring for a newborn), and then she'll be ready to job search right after relocating.Gardener wrote: But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
I'm not saying it can't work, but that's an awful lot of assumptions. Talk to your wife in detail about all sorts of what ifs before pursuing this one.
best wishes,
cj
Sandi_k wrote:Ha! It's not only about expecting things to go right - it's that you wouldn't be there to do the work that the two of you should be handling as a team. That would seriously p*ss me off, if I were your wife. And having my mother there? Ready to offer advice about everything, including, birth, recuperation, real estate, finances, and how I'm not packing the kitchen properly?!
I'm just saying, that is NOT a scenario that I personally find to be kind to your wife in any way.
You're a team now - you can't go haring off on a new job, probably with pretty clear probationary requirements (and NO FMLA eligibility in your first year, should, G*d forbid, anything go wrong with the birth!).
This is a choice. You have a clear path forward. You don't have to burn down the house on your way out.
Sandi
Gardener wrote:Thanks CJ- As I was thinking and typing those sentences, it did seem like a lot would have to go right to pull that off. And in the midst of that, we'd probably be selling the house. She would have her mother there with her, but I'm sure my wife would prefer that I'm there.clip651 wrote:That idea assumes that your wife and her pregnancy and the delivery and the new baby remain healthy, easy, and straightforward. It also assumes your wife doesn't mind being left alone at the end of her pregnancy. And that she and the baby will be prepared to move household (pack, unpack, etc while caring for a newborn), and then she'll be ready to job search right after relocating.Gardener wrote: But, we did have a perhaps wild idea of me taking the job specialty in the government that I like and relocating on my own for ~2-4 months. Then, after baby arrives in April 17, I visit on paternity leave for two weeks, and then wife, baby, and I go to my new location. My wife would then have 2.5 months on maternity to hopefully apply and secure employment. Again, she is in a pretty high demand field and so I think this would be doable.
I'm not saying it can't work, but that's an awful lot of assumptions. Talk to your wife in detail about all sorts of what ifs before pursuing this one.
best wishes,
cj