Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

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bigred3
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Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by bigred3 » Wed May 18, 2016 10:08 pm

Hello All,

I appreciated all the advice back in January to my post about being "29 and quitting job for long honeymoon." (viewtopic.php?f=2&t=182086).

Now the time has come, I'm getting married in a few days, and I am looking to put in my 2 weeks notice. I don't have a job lined up for my return, so what do I tell my boss. Do I tell him the truth (I have a good amount of funds and want to take time off), lie that I have a job lined up for my return, or some other idea/combination? What exactly do I say and how do I go about doing this? I have only quit one job in my life and that was to go back full-time for my MBA (my boss wrote my recommendations, so it was known in advance I was leaving, my boss now is not nearly as cool as my previous boss, good boss, just different style/relationship)? How should I go about doing this?

-I'm not asking for a LOA simply because I'm bored, the learning curve has slowed, and it's simply time

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njboater74
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by njboater74 » Wed May 18, 2016 10:10 pm

What's the downside of telling the truth? Is your boss in a position to blackball you from any further employment?
When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world - 'No, YOU move'--Captain America, Boglehead

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rob
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by rob » Wed May 18, 2016 10:13 pm

Didn't read the other long post but just do it in writing and be prepared to finish the day you had in your notice. The paperwork is just clear and needs no explanation. If you want to give them a reason while talking just say your taking time off. I'm not seeing the dilemma - have fun and congrats on the wedding.
| Rob | Its a dangerous business going out your front door. - J.R.R.Tolkien

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cheese_breath
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by cheese_breath » Wed May 18, 2016 10:27 pm

I didn't see your other thread but it appears you're "quitting job for long honeymoon". So why all the drama? If your boss asks just tell you're getting married and would like take a long honeymoon and spend time with your new wife before returning to work. Period. If he asks if you have a job lined up to return to tell him the truth. Maybe he'll want you back or offer to write a recommendation for you.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

campy2010
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by campy2010 » Wed May 18, 2016 10:33 pm

Not much else to add except to say you have no reason to lie. Just be honest and finish out your two weeks.

Congratulations on the wedding and the big adventure. Good Luck!
Last edited by campy2010 on Wed May 18, 2016 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DoubleClick
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by DoubleClick » Wed May 18, 2016 10:35 pm

cheese_breath wrote:I didn't see your other thread but it appears you're "quitting job for long honeymoon". So why all the drama? If your boss asks just tell you're getting married and would like take a long honeymoon and spend time with your new wife before returning to work. Period. If he asks if you have a job lined up to return to tell him the truth. Maybe he'll want you back or offer to write a recommendation for you.


+1. Why is this hard? Just say it as it is. Be prepared for your boss to say: take the unpaid vacation and then come back and restart with us.
Last edited by DoubleClick on Thu May 19, 2016 4:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

WaffleCone
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Make it a honeymoon never to forget...

Post by WaffleCone » Thu May 19, 2016 12:06 am

My then girlfriend and I quit our jobs to take a cross country road trip. She is now my wife. It was the best thing we did for our relationship and it got us both out of an employment rut. New doors will open, much easier now than later especially if you plan on having kids. Trust me.

Put your notice in, don't be surprised or offended if they ask you to leave immediately, just stay positive. No need to lie. You're getting married, taking a long vacation, and you're using this opportunity to try something new when you come back. If they really value you they may ask you to reconsider, otherwise just part ways with a smile. People leave jobs all the time. This is a good way to leave. (If they do ask you to stay, take unpaid leave and tell them you'll talk when you get back).

Good luck. Don't think about it any more. Just quit and enjoy this time.

quantAndHold
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by quantAndHold » Thu May 19, 2016 9:24 am

Just give notice and tell the truth. Leaving to do extended travel is kind of a "no fault" reason to leave. It doesn't say anything positive or negative about your employer, and you're not going to a competitor.

Expect that a person or two might be jealous, though.

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dm200
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by dm200 » Thu May 19, 2016 9:40 am

I would, to a degree, tell the truth -- but phrase it, perhaps, in a different way.

Instead of saying you are leaving "for a long honeymoon", I might phrase it that with this upcoming marriage, you are now able, at this point in your life, to spend some expended time evaluating future career opportunities/paths. (or something like that)

bigred3
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by bigred3 » Thu May 19, 2016 10:11 am

Everything here sounds reasonable... just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything unreasonable that might rub people the wrong way (or at least minimize creating any hard feelings). I realize a few might not think highly about my idea, but overall it will be all good with most that understand I'm 30, getting married, looking to take a break from the grind, and travel and re-gather.... life transitions happen, thank you all for the advice and any more to come!

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reriodan
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by reriodan » Thu May 19, 2016 10:18 am

Just email him a link to this thread :wink:

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cheese_breath
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by cheese_breath » Thu May 19, 2016 11:46 am

bigred3 wrote:Everything here sounds reasonable... just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything unreasonable that might rub people the wrong way (or at least minimize creating any hard feelings). I realize a few might not think highly about my idea, but overall it will be all good with most that understand I'm 30, getting married, looking to take a break from the grind, and travel and re-gather.... life transitions happen, thank you all for the advice and any more to come!

I think you already recognize there's no pleasing some kinds of people, and they might get offended whatever you do. Hopefully not so in your case, but if so you're doing the best you can. Don't brood over it. Just have a happy honeymoon and move on.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

stoptothink
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by stoptothink » Thu May 19, 2016 12:14 pm

campy2010 wrote:Not much else to add except to say you have no reason to lie. Just be honest and finish out your two weeks.


I have noticed that people will often lie for the most bizarre reasons. For example, our realtor recently rented out a theater to watch "Civil War". We accepted the invitation at first, but as time became closer we realized that it was the day of my MILs birthday; she wanted all the family to come to her home to celebrate her birthday and mother's day. When the realtor texted my wife to confirm that we were coming, instead of telling him it was her mother's birthday, she made up some story about us having to go to court. I was so confused, was he going to get his feelings hurt that we chose her mother over going to a movie? Was court a better excuse than mom's birthday?

I see zero downside to the OP just telling the truth. And congrats.

Flux
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by Flux » Thu May 19, 2016 12:24 pm

As others said, just be honest with them. I'm 30, I quit my Corp Finance job at a Fortune 500 company to travel long-term 2 years ago. Focus on your soon to be wife, your trip, and your life outside of work for a bit. You've set the foundation to be very employable upon return.

As for my departure, I just set up a 30 minute meeting with my boss to discuss my choice. I was 100% transparent with my decision to travel long-term. I gave them a written notice of resignation and offered to stay for 4 weeks. I was prepared to leave immediately had they asked me to (they didn't). They were a bit shocked but nearly everyone respected my decision. They accepted me back a year later on a contract basis (what I desired) so it all worked out in the end.

I interviewed with a couple different companies upon return. Everyone I interviewed with was very curious and positive about my decision to travel.

Oh and beware, you'll potentially love (or hate) being on the road. With your financial picture you could travel for much longer than 50 days. Don't book your return flight yet or start job searching. Come home when you're ready.

Andyrunner
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by Andyrunner » Thu May 19, 2016 12:46 pm

Tell the truth. You don't have to explain your net worth or any details, chances are your boss and co-workers are jealous your taking that long of a honeymoon and be happy for you.

Also to give you a heads up, there are chances your boss or co-workers will give a wedding gift. Be prepared for that potential awkward "thanks for the gift but now I quite" situation.

investingdad
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by investingdad » Thu May 19, 2016 12:47 pm

We had a promising, young engineer quit to...travel and play music. And he told us. We wished him luck and invited him to contact us if was interested in returning in the future.

Simple.

I recommend the same approach.

Katie
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Re: Getting married and how to quit my job. This is follow-up post earlier post

Post by Katie » Thu May 19, 2016 1:06 pm

Just tell the truth about wanting to take the opportunity for some extended travel and don't burn any bridges. Even though you think you want a different job when you get back, you don't know what the future holds, so remain positive about your experience at the company.

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