Young Male Living with Parents
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You sound like a nice guy from a nice family. Congrats on passing the CPA exam the first time, I had to take it twice to pass.
- Crimsontide
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Yep, your parents have done an awesome job raising an awesome young man. Time to pay them back by moving out and showing them how well you can stand on your own two feet.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Living at home when I was 25 (just turned 29) would have not been a tenable arrangement in my family. My parents are wonderful folks and have been great parents, but my family culture is definitely one of the individual independence flavor that another poster alluded to. I moved out when I headed off to college after highschool. Been living on my own since and I cannot imagine living at home with my parents through my mid 20's (I was actually living in another country when I was 25). I think there is great value, emotionally, in being independent from your parents. Maybe not at 18 but certainly after graduating college. Nothing causes maturity growth like cold hard reality.
With that said, if you are all happy with the way things are and have a plan for when you will eventually move out then that is all up to you. I don't "get it", but it isn't my life to "get".
With that said, if you are all happy with the way things are and have a plan for when you will eventually move out then that is all up to you. I don't "get it", but it isn't my life to "get".
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Sorry to hear about your Mom's health. This is an excellent reason to stay at home with your parents for now, as long as it is working well for all of you, which it sounds like it is. You are fortunate to be in a family where you actually want to be together. It is surely nothing to be embarrassed about, though it is not necessarily the norm. Sounds like you have a great situation and a good head on your shoulders.TheBestOrNothing wrote: Honestly, not something I talk about much but my Mom has leukemia. I cherish this time with my Mom because I don't know how much longer I will have with her. Eventually, I would love to contribute financially to medical research to find cures for all types of cancers and diseases.
best wishes,
cj
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Thanks for all of the responses. I greatly value everybody's opinions.
I need to figure out the next step in my life. As for an earlier post regarding purchasing a home, I have had those concerns. Willingness to relocate for a more lucrative and rewarding position would be tougher with a home anchoring me down, risk of being underwater and stuck due to value depreciation, etc. Other than maxing out the 401k and Roth IRA, and banking the remainder, I'm not really sure what to do other than keep working hard in my profession and enjoy the social life outside of work.
I need to figure out the next step in my life. As for an earlier post regarding purchasing a home, I have had those concerns. Willingness to relocate for a more lucrative and rewarding position would be tougher with a home anchoring me down, risk of being underwater and stuck due to value depreciation, etc. Other than maxing out the 401k and Roth IRA, and banking the remainder, I'm not really sure what to do other than keep working hard in my profession and enjoy the social life outside of work.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You're in good company.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/classifie ... story.html
http://www.chicagotribune.com/classifie ... story.html
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
In my opinion, there are a few things to consider:
1. Is child moving forward in life (has a job/career with a future, saving money, developing friendships and interests) or stagnating/marking time (not working or working at a low income job with no plan or initiative to improve, spending everything they earn or relying on the bank of mom & dad), playing video games/TV/drinking)
2. Does everyone get along, no major strife or issues in the living arrangement
Sounds like OP has his life in order, and everyone is happy with the arrangement. Congrats are in order for both the OP and his parents. They raised a good kid.
Stay the course.
1. Is child moving forward in life (has a job/career with a future, saving money, developing friendships and interests) or stagnating/marking time (not working or working at a low income job with no plan or initiative to improve, spending everything they earn or relying on the bank of mom & dad), playing video games/TV/drinking)
2. Does everyone get along, no major strife or issues in the living arrangement
Sounds like OP has his life in order, and everyone is happy with the arrangement. Congrats are in order for both the OP and his parents. They raised a good kid.
Stay the course.
I wish I had learned about index funds 25 years ago
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
+1JoinToday wrote:In my opinion, there are a few things to consider:
1. Is child moving forward in life (has a job/career with a future, saving money, developing friendships and interests) or stagnating/marking time (not working or working at a low income job with no plan or initiative to improve, spending everything they earn or relying on the bank of mom & dad), playing video games/TV/drinking)
2. Does everyone get along, no major strife or issues in the living arrangement
Sounds like OP has his life in order, and everyone is happy with the arrangement. Congrats are in order for both the OP and his parents. They raised a good kid.
Stay the course.
Do what works for you.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I am curious why you would say that. I have 2 grown kids who both bought homes at that age (I did not encourage or discourage), as did I when I was that age. In all 3 cases it worked out fine. The interest and real estate tax deductions help a lot with federal income tax when you are single.dltnfs wrote:I couldn't imagine ... buying a house at 26-27.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I mean that I couldn't for myself. I certainly know people whose personal situations and lifestyles would make that a good idea.munemaker wrote:I am curious why you would say that. I have 2 grown kids who both bought homes at that age (I did not encourage or discourage), as did I when I was that age. In all 3 cases it worked out fine. The interest and real estate tax deductions help a lot with federal income tax when you are single.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I think it is awsome that you have a good relationship with your folks and you live at home. If i were in your situation i would do the same thing. I am older then you 32 but paying rent and a divorce slowed my financial progression. One thing you might consider is buying a duplex, triplex or fourplex. You could take advantage of your first time homebuyer incentives and generate additional income. You would need to consider if you would want to be a landlord but if that answer is yes i would give it consideration.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
As long as you're living with your parents for the right reasons, and it's a healthy living arrangement, why not.
But if you're still living with your parents at age 30, I'd start questioning your reasons. I see no issues up through maybe age 28 for people who take on a difficult 4 year degree and/or Masters & want to do some max saving during their first couple years of real job/work as a down payment on a house.
But if you're still living with your parents at age 30, I'd start questioning your reasons. I see no issues up through maybe age 28 for people who take on a difficult 4 year degree and/or Masters & want to do some max saving during their first couple years of real job/work as a down payment on a house.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You have a better balance sheet than most 25 year olds...congrats! But, there is something to be said about moving out and being independent of mom and dad. (even if it delays your home purchase) It will give you better perspective on living costs and where you want to live. 2 years is probably too late to move out, all for the sake of having the down payment. 6 months max. Also, moving out may make your relationship with your parents even better.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
25 is not that old these days for living at home, though most are heading out around now. No need to rush out, but I would suggest you start laying plans to do so, and act on those plans well before your parents finally have had enough and tell you it is time.
What works is different for different families, so this might be entirely fine for you and your parents.
I would note though that a couple of years ago someone did a world-wide study on this including countries one normally thinks of as big on kids being independent and countries one often thinks of as favoring multi-generational living arrangements, poor and rich.
Across the world, places favoring independence as a valuable trait or not, very uniformly about 80% of the parents really wanted the kids to get on with growing up and moving out and did not really appreciate having adult kids at home since they did not do enough to pitch in (they may or may not tell the kid how they felt though, so just because the parents have not complained does not mean they are happy).
And uniformly across the globe about 80% of the kids said, my parents love having me at home, I am so helpful.
Clearly many of the kids who said my parents love having me at home are wrong. Kind of like 88.6% of drivers claim to be above average.
What works is different for different families, so this might be entirely fine for you and your parents.
I would note though that a couple of years ago someone did a world-wide study on this including countries one normally thinks of as big on kids being independent and countries one often thinks of as favoring multi-generational living arrangements, poor and rich.
Across the world, places favoring independence as a valuable trait or not, very uniformly about 80% of the parents really wanted the kids to get on with growing up and moving out and did not really appreciate having adult kids at home since they did not do enough to pitch in (they may or may not tell the kid how they felt though, so just because the parents have not complained does not mean they are happy).
And uniformly across the globe about 80% of the kids said, my parents love having me at home, I am so helpful.
Clearly many of the kids who said my parents love having me at home are wrong. Kind of like 88.6% of drivers claim to be above average.
We live a world with knowledge of the future markets has less than one significant figure. And people will still and always demand answers to three significant digits.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
This is pretty much what you need to do, but also:Other than maxing out the 401k and Roth IRA, and banking the remainder, I'm not really sure what to do other than keep working hard in my profession and enjoy the social life outside of work.
1. Set up a budget. Know what you're spending, and where and why.
2. Based on that budget, determine how much money you can afford on housing when you do decide to move out.
You may be surprised. You will want to make an informed decision so that you are not getting accustomed to one lifestyle and then have to drastically change that lifestyle once you do have housing costs.
It IS easy to make good decisions (buy a car debt free, put yourself through grad school, etc.) and have fun (games / vacations / going out) when a massive expense is taken off the table. Will you be able to live the same way you do now if you have to come up with another, say, $2,000 or $3,000 a month in mortgage/property taxes/utilities/maintenance? If not, what will you have to give up? It will be a lot easier to determine that now than it will be once you have to make that monthly mortgage payment.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Exactly. You like your parents, and your parents like you; there are no issues. So,why move out? Cherish the time with your parents - you will miss it when they are gone.JoinToday wrote:In my opinion, there are a few things to consider:
1. Is child moving forward in life (has a job/career with a future, saving money, developing friendships and interests) or stagnating/marking time (not working or working at a low income job with no plan or initiative to improve, spending everything they earn or relying on the bank of mom & dad), playing video games/TV/drinking)
2. Does everyone get along, no major strife or issues in the living arrangement
Sounds like OP has his life in order, and everyone is happy with the arrangement. Congrats are in order for both the OP and his parents. They raised a good kid.
Stay the course.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
If you already have a good-looking girlfriend and you're happy living with your parents, then there's no reason to move out at this time.TheBestOrNothing wrote:Socially, no complaints. Good-looking girlfriend and lots of friends.
Avi
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I think it's the OP's decision what he wants. I'd be concerned about women judging him negatively, but he already has a good-looking girlfriend, so who cares? Until the circumstances change, I don't see any good argument for moving out. When circumstances change, he can move out then.TxAg wrote:Nobody wants to be 30 living at home, though....well except my uncle. He's about 60 and stays stoned.
Avi
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I don't see getting an apartment for social reasons as somehow making one more mature. That actually sounds like a immature reasoning.
I see someone willing to delay gratitude by sacrificing early on to reap the rewards later by willing to stay at home and save money as a far greater indicator of maturity.
People seek to validate their own life situations as being more right or making them more mature and responsible while minimizing your own life choices.
I am a few years older and similar background (CPA, working on MBA) and I recently got my own apartment for social reasons. For a lot of girls, it IS a deal breaker. Guess what, I am barely at my apartment because I prefer hanging around a house with other people in it.
I see someone willing to delay gratitude by sacrificing early on to reap the rewards later by willing to stay at home and save money as a far greater indicator of maturity.
People seek to validate their own life situations as being more right or making them more mature and responsible while minimizing your own life choices.
I am a few years older and similar background (CPA, working on MBA) and I recently got my own apartment for social reasons. For a lot of girls, it IS a deal breaker. Guess what, I am barely at my apartment because I prefer hanging around a house with other people in it.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You are living your life as you see fit, working, maintaining a good relationship with two good parents and presumably living a good productive life with good priorities.
Living in unnecessary debt is somehow stylish to your social group? Nah.
One of my personal sayings is: "I've never been stylish before, so there is no reason to start now".
Do you not hang out with the folks from work? The other CPA types?
If your social circle is your old college friends, they are likey teasing you for the pure fun of it... and do not expect you to take them seriously, and you should not.
Enjoy your life, and continue to add to your circle of friends of all ages... and hopefully your GF has more going for her than her looks.
Take care, and thanks for sharing your story.
M
Living in unnecessary debt is somehow stylish to your social group? Nah.
One of my personal sayings is: "I've never been stylish before, so there is no reason to start now".
Do you not hang out with the folks from work? The other CPA types?
If your social circle is your old college friends, they are likey teasing you for the pure fun of it... and do not expect you to take them seriously, and you should not.
Enjoy your life, and continue to add to your circle of friends of all ages... and hopefully your GF has more going for her than her looks.
Take care, and thanks for sharing your story.
M
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
TheBestOrNothing wrote:
Am I doing the right thing? Or is the criticism justified and it's time for me to move out? Thanks.
The criticism is unjustified.
That said, though you seem like you have your financial life very well together for a 25 y o, I wonder about the rest of your life. Does living with your folks affect your social life with friends, lovers, etc? Do you care? Do you have much of a social life?
IMHO, happiness is all about balance. When I was 25 I was perfectly happy living in a third story walkup with roommates and driving a beater....I was having the time of my life. Buying a home was not even a remote consideration. My savings were in the hundreds, not in the hundreds of thousands. Now I'm 63 and the finances worked out just fine. If I cared about money when I was 25 I would probably have much more of it today, but I wouldn't know what to do with it anyway, and I would have missed out on countless valuable experiences. There is much to the richness of life beyond riches.
You have to be true to yourself. Live the way that makes you happiest. If that means staying with your parents, fine. If it means striking out on your own, go for it....you can afford it.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You'd be surprised at what people say. When we were considering our first home purchase, my wife's uncle said, "You should be house poor when you're first starting out." I almost laughed.FireProof wrote:C'mon, man, you're 25 years old, time to stop nakedly begging for praise. And no one ever has said "You should have credit card debt."
I think what these people mean to say is that there's value to struggling when you're young. Managing a tight budget, living without luxuries, maybe even working two or three jobs - these are things that build character and, more importantly, a skill set that is useful later in life. Should you have CC debt or a house that's too much for you? No. But you might. If you do, you'll learn from it at a time when those mistakes aren't as quite as costly.
For most people, it's a given that there will be lean years in their 20's, but some - like the OP - are more fortunate. We'd all love to be in those situations - great job out of school, affordable living arrangement, etc. The trick is to understand that life isn't always that cushy, and being able to handle it when things get hard for the first time and you're in your 40's or 50's. As many of the BHs on this forum will attest, life throws curveballs that are tough to manage even when you've been responsible your entire life.
The OP should live how he sees fit, and his situation is financially ideal. I hope, however, that he doesn't fly over the rails when the boat inevitably starts rocking. That's the only real drawback I see to continue with the current situation.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Good thing he doesn't have an average-looking girlfriend. Otherwise you might be telling him to move out!AviN wrote:If you already have a good-looking girlfriend and you're happy living with your parents, then there's no reason to move out at this time.TheBestOrNothing wrote:Socially, no complaints. Good-looking girlfriend and lots of friends.
Avi
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Saving is valuable, but it also comes down to quality of life and preference. I never enjoyed living witb my parents. Even living 5 minutes away and having privacy is 1000x more enjoyable for me. If you enjoy your living situation, then it works for you. Don't do things because of pressure by others.
- InvestorNewb
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I moved out at 26 with the net worth you have now. I regret not leaving sooner for privacy reasons. I think living at home kept me back from establishing better relationships. I am still single at 33, but with significantly more worth.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Do your friends or girlfriend come over to your house? Does your girlfriend ever spend the night?TheBestOrNothing wrote:Socially, no complaints. Good-looking girlfriend and lots of friends. Go out every Friday and Saturday night. Take vacations regularly. Attend sporting events. No issues there.
Also if I was your father, seeing you go out every weekend, and taking vacations and going to sporting events might make me a little upset... since you're supposed to be saving that money for a house.
Those are the only problems I see with your situation...
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Living at home with your parents in their big house with someone else paying for that big screen TV and surround sound system, and Mom cooking your favorite meals every so often is no sacrifice. Living in a crappy one-bedroom or studio apartment to save money is the sacrifice.MrKnight wrote:I don't see getting an apartment for social reasons as somehow making one more mature. That actually sounds like a immature reasoning.
I see someone willing to delay gratitude by sacrificing early on to reap the rewards later by willing to stay at home and save money as a far greater indicator of maturity.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
This is a great line, and applicable to the OP. If you want exceptional results, you need to do something different than the crowd.CoAndy wrote:Just remember, when broke people are making fun of your financial plan, you're on the right track!
If you have a financial plan and are successfully executing without realizing any social, familial or developmental downside, let the haters hate!
Doubtless in a couple of decades, some of these haters will be 1) struggling to retire comfortably, and 2) bemoaning the death of their parents and how they wished they spent more time with their family; hopefully you'll have neither of these regrets.
Personally, I'm surprised more young adults don't take this path in the US (I think it may be more typical in Europe / Asia).
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
"Living at home with your parents in their big house with someone else paying for that big screen TV and surround sound system"
Funny you say that, because just recently the TV in the living room went out and I purchased a 60 inch Samsung LED for my parents as a token of my appreciation for allowing me to live with them.
Funny you say that, because just recently the TV in the living room went out and I purchased a 60 inch Samsung LED for my parents as a token of my appreciation for allowing me to live with them.
- inittowinit
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
Brilliant!123 wrote:When people ask your living arrangements just turn the tables a little bit and say that your parents live with you but that you see them having their own place in the not too distant future.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
You are ultimately responsible for how you live your life. If you are happy living with your parents keep doing it. Don't ask for the advice or listen to the advice of others. People will only justify their own decisions. What they say really has nothing to do with you.
In most of the world people never move out of their parents' homes.
In high-cost parts of the U.S. , I imagine that this will become more and more common.
In most of the world people never move out of their parents' homes.
In high-cost parts of the U.S. , I imagine that this will become more and more common.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
"If you have a financial plan and are successfully executing without realizing any social, familial or developmental downside, let the haters hate!"
I have yet to see any downside in any aspect of my life. Living at home has created nothing but upside in my professional, financial, social, and family life. I have done generous things for friends and family realizing I am in a fortunate situation with a good job and good health. I try to give back. Last Christmas, I partly funded both of my parents Traditional IRA's.
So for those who think I am just milking the situation and not giving back, please reconsider.
I have yet to see any downside in any aspect of my life. Living at home has created nothing but upside in my professional, financial, social, and family life. I have done generous things for friends and family realizing I am in a fortunate situation with a good job and good health. I try to give back. Last Christmas, I partly funded both of my parents Traditional IRA's.
So for those who think I am just milking the situation and not giving back, please reconsider.
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Re: Young Male Living with Parents
+1. Moving out by yourself, and for example, moving in with a girlfriend might teach you about whether "good looking" is the most important attribute you can think of when describing a girlfriend.Wildebeest wrote:I was completely with you till you brought up the "Good-looking girlfriend". If that is your girl friend's claim to fame as far as you are concerned, you may have issues.TheBestOrNothing wrote:Socially, no complaints. Good-looking girlfriend and lots of friends. Go out every Friday and Saturday night. Take vacations regularly. Attend sporting events. No issues there.
I am not advocating moving out, but rather encouraging you to think about how you could identify and address the types of issues you might be subject to living with your parents.
Re: Young Male Living with Parents
I removed an off-topic comment and a follow-up post. This thread has run its course and is locked (relationship issue, not personal finance).