Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

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TorturedRegret
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Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by TorturedRegret » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:12 am

I noticed there may be a large selection bias when asking financial or lifestyle questions to Bogleheads. Bogleheads have so much extra money they are trying to save on mgmt fees. To have that money, it helps to not be divorced. So, I predict the divorce rate is significantly lower than national averages here. ie: Broke divorced people have bigger problems than cutting out active mgmt fees, and they are underrepresented here. If you fail to see how this is "on topic", with a reasonable sample size, I think we can learn something about the sort of survivorship bias that may occur when posing questions about lifestyle, parenting, happiness, etc.

Are you divorced? Please respond with a "yes" or "no". If you feel comfortable, elaborate on how this has affected (or not) your personal finances, compared to peers who are in the other camp.

Gary Guss
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by Gary Guss » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:20 am

Yup, made me start over at 42, so far so good.. figured out who the spender was in my first marriage - hint: it wasnt me. First clue was when I was paying child support, a mortgage and an apartment rental and still had more walking around money.

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MedicatedMoney
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by MedicatedMoney » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:23 am

Divorced: No
Age: Late thirties
Married: 10 years (this year :D )

I have noticed that friends and family that has gone through divorce have had to hit the "reset" button financially. My wife and I are may be much further ahead because we have the ability to save a good portion of DW (works part-time outside the home) salary while still raising 3 children in a very desired place to live.

I don't think I could live where I live, save what we save, and give my children the same life if we were divorce and maintaining two different "homes" for our family. But we have friends that are divorced and do it. I admire how well someone of them do it; especially a few of our single mom friends!
-Medicated

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TheTimeLord
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by TheTimeLord » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:24 am

Married over 20 years, never divorced. I predict you will find many single never married Bogleheads. People who have to rely on just themselves for financial support. From reading posts I will also predict many BH divorces will have finances/lifestyle as the central issue and many married BH will either have a frugal mate or one not interested in being an active participant in the family finances. The irony will be that even though BHs will espouse passive and index investing many will have controling tendencies expressed through rigid budgeting, perpetual bargain hunting and constant search for the perfect slice and dice portfolio.
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. | Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]

BahamaMan
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by BahamaMan » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:28 am

Gary Guss wrote:Yup, made me start over at 42, so far so good.. figured out who the spender was in my first marriage - hint: it wasnt me. First clue was when I was paying child support, a mortgage and an apartment rental and still had more walking around money.
Ditto. Started over at age 35. Same Story. Cost me about $200K, but it was worth every penny.

Re-married at age 36 very well, to a gorgeous smart gal with a 6 figure income. That was 28 years ago. Best 'Investment' I ever made.

jchris
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by jchris » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:32 am

Married 22 years, never divorced. Yes, being married to someone with similar financial mindset has definitely helped us grow our net worth. I have a couple of divorced friends who definitely struggle financially due to the divorce.

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jfn111
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by jfn111 » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:49 am

Married 33 years, never divorced. Wife is more frugal than me. :)

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just frank
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by just frank » Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:57 am

Divorced w no kids or assets at 29, remarried at 33. Now 47.

Good luck getting a representative sample without a deep poll.

Alimony and halving of assets late in life are more impactful than two grad students getting a divorce in their 20s. This is a confound to your question.

Current divorce rate is ~35%, it used to be higher. Good luck figuring out what baseline you expect given the older skew of Bogleheads.

You also don't respond to your own question....what is your status? :annoyed

zeeke42
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by zeeke42 » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:01 am

Another factor: Bogleheads tend to be more educated on average, and the divorce rate for those with college degrees is much lower than those without.

galectin
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by galectin » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:03 am

Still married after 42 years.

Age 65 for both of us.

It helps greatly that we are on the same page with regard to spending and saving.

stoptothink
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by stoptothink » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:08 am

BahamaMan wrote:
Gary Guss wrote:Yup, made me start over at 42, so far so good.. figured out who the spender was in my first marriage - hint: it wasnt me. First clue was when I was paying child support, a mortgage and an apartment rental and still had more walking around money.
Ditto. Started over at age 35. Same Story. Cost me about $200K, but it was worth every penny.

Re-married at age 36 very well, to a gorgeous smart gal with a 6 figure income. That was 28 years ago. Best 'Investment' I ever made.
:sharebeer Almost exact same story. I had to basically start over at 29, having "invested" almost my entire life savings to that point in putting my (ex)wife through undergrad and dental school debt free. Would have been nice to have that $150k+ I spent on her education alone working for me, but I did remarry at 32 and made a much better decision the 2nd time around.

Johno
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by Johno » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:14 am

just frank wrote:
Good luck getting a representative sample without a deep poll.
Alimony and halving of assets late in life are more impactful than two grad students getting a divorce in their 20s. This is a confound to your question.
Current divorce rate is ~35%, it used to be higher. Good luck figuring out what baseline you expect given the older skew of Bogleheads.
I agree, besides mechanical difficulty of getting a sample from a bunch of posts, divorce rate compared to what? Divorce rates vary considerably by economic status and education among many other factors including age, ethnic background, region of the US (assuming it's the US), etc. This is a generally higher income/wealth/education group, I gather. But as the question suggests, wealth is also affected by divorce, so it can have chicken v. egg aspect, like a lot of social phenomena.

But one might also question the concept that a person loses half their wealth when they viewed themselves as having X, but actually half of it belonged to another person, v. when the two people separate and each have X/2. I suppose they might have lost what they view as an unfair aspect of the divorce settlement but always two sides to that story, the money paid to lawyers is a dead weight loss but not typically that huge, or perhaps if the situation threw them off their game in their work and made them earn less. But another confusing element of a lot of social measurement is similar: we read statistics about 'household', medians, income/wealth distribution etc. but households tend to be smaller than in the past.

FWIW, 32 yrs into first marriage.

WorkToLive
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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by WorkToLive » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:20 am

Never divorced. Married 13 years. Both age 41. One kid also helped us keep spending down. Neither of us spends profligately. DH spends more than I do, though.

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Re: Divorce Poll. What percentage of BH are divorced?

Post by LadyGeek » Sun Nov 22, 2015 10:22 am

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