how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

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inbox788
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by inbox788 »

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You might be the definition of pessimist.
How did you come upon $1.5 at age 30?
Despite some tumultuous years, you seemed to have retained half of that. In 2008/9, many folks in the market were in a similar situation, down nearly 50%.
You found this site.
How did you come upon another $250,000 recently?

Were you waiting for a correction back when? Still waiting for it now?

What type of work did/do you do? Did you have steady jobs in the past? How are your career prospects going forward? You've got many years ahead of you and making the best of them.
fvaldes wrote:I was sitting on about 1.5million and DIDNT INVEST AT ALL after the housing bubble came and went.
...I was 30.
...
Fast forward to today and had I invested that amount into the same three fund portfolio I hold right now ( with only $250,000 )

Instead, I didn't invest and wasted A LOT OF $$$. Not all of it but a good half. Getting married, traaveling, a car, getting divorced, etc

I had about 750K after everything was said and done. Bought a house cash and about year ago I started learning more about the Bogle method
and I bought a 75%/25% 3 fund portfolio.

...
I plan on holding for the long term and adding more cash as soon as a decent correction hits. ( I have $250,000 cash waiting )
sawhorse
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by sawhorse »

Like all regret, investment regret sucks. Unlike other types of regret, you can put an exact number on it and know precisely how it would have turned out if you had acted differently. With other types of regret, you wish you acted differently, but you can't say for sure how it would have turned out if you had acted the other way. That makes investment regret harder to swallow for some people--not myself, but I can understand the people who feel that way.

In terms of your regret, I don't think I can say anything that others haven't said, so I'll give you some unsolicited advice moving forward.

It may be tempting to invest all your money now to recoup the difference and particularly to invest it in risky assets. This would be so dangerous. You regret not earning, but not losing, nominal value due to your inaction. That's painful enough. Know what'll be really really painful? Regretting losing nominal value, a lot of it, due to your action.
myrrh
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by myrrh »

As far as what to do now - I would put your money in the market. Yes it's near an "all time high" and there hasn't been a correction in awhile, and it may drop 50% tomorrow. Or it may go up 15% this year and continue going up and up for years. No one knows. And if you believe that on average it goes up - most people do - then just get it done. "Time in the market is better than timing the market".

There is a story about Bob the terrible market timer who only bought stocks during market peaks, but never sold, and he still did great and retired comfortably. I am having trouble with the search function but maybe someone else can find and link the story.

Personally I put a big (for me) chunk of money in the market in 2007, right before the big 2008 crash. But I didn't sell and kept investing. And I'm way better off today than if I hadn't put the money in the market at all.

Hope this makes you feel better. I realize it's very hard but just bite the bullet. Or if that's too hard then DCA over a year or two. At least you will be getting back in. :happy
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M_to_the_G
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by M_to_the_G »

These words changed my life, and I offer them to you now: There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. You did *not* "fail" in your previous choices. You only received feedback. There is no such thing as failure, and no one has ever failed at anything; they've only received feedback for future reference.
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stemikger
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by stemikger »

Posted by Inbox788
Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Although Einstein is credited for this quote, I always thought he said it too, he never actually said it. It's still a great quote but not from Einstein.

Here is the link below:

http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2014/03/9-alb ... ally-fake/
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!
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stemikger
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by stemikger »

myrrh wrote:As far as what to do now - I would put your money in the market. Yes it's near an "all time high" and there hasn't been a correction in awhile, and it may drop 50% tomorrow. Or it may go up 15% this year and continue going up and up for years. No one knows. And if you believe that on average it goes up - most people do - then just get it done. "Time in the market is better than timing the market".

There is a story about Bob the terrible market timer who only bought stocks during market peaks, but never sold, and he still did great and retired comfortably. I am having trouble with the search function but maybe someone else can find and link the story.

Personally I put a big (for me) chunk of money in the market in 2007, right before the big 2008 crash. But I didn't sell and kept investing. And I'm way better off today than if I hadn't put the money in the market at all.

Hope this makes you feel better. I realize it's very hard but just bite the bullet. Or if that's too hard then DCA over a year or two. At least you will be getting back in. :happy
In theory the experts say it is better to lump sum, but for the average person, it may not be the best. The market is definitely at an all time high and we haven't seen a real correction for quite a while now and no one knows when it will come, but rest assured it will come because that is what the markets do. I would hate to see someone put a large sum in and that correction happens tomorrow. Even though they know in 5, 10 or 20 years it will not matter, it still may turn them off from investing and it still may cause they sleepless nights. Even Warren Buffett suggests the average person should just buy the index but buy it over time.
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!
beardsworth
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by beardsworth »

We have a list of not-very-important financial decisions over the years that we wish we'd done differently, but they were inconsequential and not worth current fretting. However, we also have two or three real whoppers that still make us cringe whenever we think of them.

What's done is done. We take comfort from knowing that we did the best we could, given our values, priorities, and money situation at the time, and that in each case we talked it over and made a consensus decision, so that, whatever the outcome, the choice was not "imposed" by one spouse on the other and (the most important thing of all) did not divide us from one another.

We also take comfort in the realization that we can't think of any person in our acquaintance, not one, who hasn't done something along the way to screw up in the realm of money. That's life. The task is to minimize, though probably never be able to completely eliminate, the weird things that money does to the mind. On that note, it's helpful to focus on all the things that matter in life that really don't require much money, if any.
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max12377
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by max12377 »

I think we have a choice of what to focus on. I recall a seminar where the presenter said to look around and notice everything around you that is red. So participants did so. Then he asked them to close their eyes. Once their eyes were closed he said.. "Ok.. tell me everything around you that was green"

The point is, I think, to not let yourself get too focused on and crushed by the regret of the past such that you miss out on other opportunities that may be presenting themselves to you right now.. I admit this can be harder said than done. I have a lot of royal screw-ups in my life, and not just financial ones.

Try to live in the present and appreciate what you have right now.

Best of luck!
Tamahome
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Tamahome »

I am a year older than you are without that windfall. I did not start saving until a few years ago. You know in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" when Mr. Potter tells George Bailey "You are worth more dead than alive" (thereby causing him to consider suicide)? Yeah, that is me... worth more dead than alive. You can NOW invest that money. I can NOW save for retirement. It is not about what you could have done or should have done. It is about what you are going to do to make life wonderful for yourself and for your family.
I'm not a financial professional. Post is info only & not legal advice. No attorney-client relationship exists with reader. Scrutinize my ideas as if you spoke with a guy at a bar. I may be wrong.
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Re: regret and depression...how to deal with it

Post by sschullo »

Nicolas wrote:
sschullo wrote:I lost a million when I was in my 50s!, during the 2000 crash and I don't regret a bit. It was a learning experience and wrote a book about it and just finished another because of the 403(b) experience, by making mistakes all along And doing some things right too. Only a few bogleheads came out of the cradle, never made big mistakes, highly talented and are multimillionaires by the time they are in the 30s, and also have a high paying fantastic job that they love and are respected by all.
Instead, we are regular folk or as playwrite George Bernard Shaw said that most of us "live in quiet desperation." I deal with it by trying to help others not make the mistakes I made and it has been terrific experience. I am also lucky to be healthy and alive, despite having a cancer scare 15 years ago and getting wounded in combat in "Nam." back in the day.
You will be fine! You are young and learning this stuff 25 years before me. Congratulations!
It was actually Henry David Thoreau who said that, in Walden: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation", not Geo. Bernard Shaw.
Thank you!
Never in the history of market day-traders’ has the obsession with so much massive, sophisticated, & powerful statistical machinery used by the brightest people on earth with such useless results.
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stemikger
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by stemikger »

I vote this thread as the best for 2015. I sometimes notice people seeking help here and every now and then they get negative advice instead of being encouraged. I'm glad to see this thread because it encourages people to never give up and not beat yourself up for making mistakes or just having bad luck.

Kudos to all the folks on this one who helped others stay encouraged.

Especially sschullo. Also, thank you for your service to this Country.
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!
sschullo
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by sschullo »

stemikger wrote:I vote this thread as the best for 2015. I sometimes notice people seeking help here and every now and then they get negative advice instead of being encouraged. I'm glad to see this thread because it encourages people to never give up and not beat yourself up for making mistakes or just having bad luck.

Kudos to all the folks on this one who helped others stay encouraged.

Especially sschullo. Also, thank you for your service to this Country.
You're welcome stem. Just doing what I can to help this young investor stay the course and never give up. Mistakes are great lessons--we own them and nobody can take that away. As older folks, I think its our duty to inform people that its going to be okay. As you said, the trick is not to dwell on them and that's hard going through a mistake as its painful. Its amazing as I look back on how many mistakes we all make from time to time and it easily covers up the right decisions too.
Have a great day,
Steve
Never in the history of market day-traders’ has the obsession with so much massive, sophisticated, & powerful statistical machinery used by the brightest people on earth with such useless results.
Carefreeap
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Carefreeap »

sschullo wrote:
stemikger wrote:I vote this thread as the best for 2015. I sometimes notice people seeking help here and every now and then they get negative advice instead of being encouraged. I'm glad to see this thread because it encourages people to never give up and not beat yourself up for making mistakes or just having bad luck.

Kudos to all the folks on this one who helped others stay encouraged.

Especially sschullo. Also, thank you for your service to this Country.
You're welcome stem. Just doing what I can to help this young investor stay the course and never give up. Mistakes are great lessons--we own them and nobody can take that away. As older folks, I think its our duty to inform people that its going to be okay. As you said, the trick is not to dwell on them and that's hard going through a mistake as its painful. Its amazing as I look back on how many mistakes we all make from time to time and it easily covers up the right decisions too.
Have a great day,
Steve
+1 Great Post!

I feel that part of my role on the financial website forums is to share the lessons (mistakes! :wink: ) I've learned along the way so that someone can learn from my experience.

Hindsight is always 20/20. I remember how bad it felt to watch everything drop in value in 2007. So much so that I stopped opening my 401k/457 statements for about a year and a half. At the same time our real estate investments tanked. Then my mom died and I spent 8 months negotiating with her idiotic bank to do a short sale of her condo that was upside by $300k. My MIL was diagnosed with cancer again. Then the company DH worked for closed its US operations and laid 10s of thousands of people off. We took the job offer to relocate to Europe but it took nearly five months to find a credit worthy tenant to rent our house...with a negative cash flow. We were burglarized twice within months of moving to Europe. Then our investment bank fired us since we moved overseas. They threatened to sell all of our long held stocks and send a check to our U.S. P.O. Box in AZ thus generating thousand of dollars of capital gains. Saying that it was a stressful time of our lives was an understatement. Looking back it's surprising that we didn't make more mistakes! :?

We sat on the cash proceeds of the proprietary mutual funds for about a year. And just kept banking our taxable dividends and royalties. In 2010 we paid off the mortgage on the house we planned on making our primary again and bought back into some mutual funds in anticipation that DH's contact would not be renewed in 2012. In hindsight we would have been much better off not paying off that mortgage. We should have refinanced the mortgage and invested the money. We would have come close to doubling that money; or about $450k.

As I remind myself when we've made other investment mistakes, it could have been a lot worse. We still have a roof over our heads and enough to eat. A lot of people don't have that. The financial mistakes we've made are clearly first world problems. 8-)
Every day I can hike is a good day.
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dratkinson
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by dratkinson »

You are well ahead of me. I didn't find this method until I was 58: retired and no earned income.

The only person you are competing against is yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday? You are, but only if you take what you now know and look forward.

You can't keep looking back. You gotta let it go.
d.r.a., not dr.a. | I'm a novice investor; you are forewarned.
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FrugalInvestor
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by FrugalInvestor »

We've all made mistakes. Most of us were something else before we were Bogleheads.

The important thing is what you do from here on out, not what you did yesterday.
Have a plan, stay the course and simplify. Then ignore the noise!
chessmannextmove
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by chessmannextmove »

By forgetting about it. "You'll get em next time tiger!"
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stemikger
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by stemikger »

sschullo wrote:
stemikger wrote:I vote this thread as the best for 2015. I sometimes notice people seeking help here and every now and then they get negative advice instead of being encouraged. I'm glad to see this thread because it encourages people to never give up and not beat yourself up for making mistakes or just having bad luck.

Kudos to all the folks on this one who helped others stay encouraged.

Especially sschullo. Also, thank you for your service to this Country.
You're welcome stem. Just doing what I can to help this young investor stay the course and never give up. Mistakes are great lessons--we own them and nobody can take that away. As older folks, I think its our duty to inform people that its going to be okay. As you said, the trick is not to dwell on them and that's hard going through a mistake as its painful. Its amazing as I look back on how many mistakes we all make from time to time and it easily covers up the right decisions too.
Have a great day,
Steve
:sharebeer
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!
sschullo
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Re: regret and depression...how to deal with it

Post by sschullo »

sschullo wrote:
Nicolas wrote:
sschullo wrote:I lost a million when I was in my 50s!, during the 2000 crash and I don't regret a bit. It was a learning experience and wrote a book about it and just finished another because of the 403(b) experience, by making mistakes all along And doing some things right too. Only a few bogleheads came out of the cradle, never made big mistakes, highly talented and are multimillionaires by the time they are in the 30s, and also have a high paying fantastic job that they love and are respected by all.
Instead, we are regular folk or as playwrite George Bernard Shaw said that most of us "live in quiet desperation." I deal with it by trying to help others not make the mistakes I made and it has been terrific experience. I am also lucky to be healthy and alive, despite having a cancer scare 15 years ago and getting wounded in combat in "Nam." back in the day.
You will be fine! You are young and learning this stuff 25 years before me. Congratulations!
It was actually Henry David Thoreau who said that, in Walden: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation", not Geo. Bernard Shaw.
Thank you!
PS Speaking of Thoreau, one of my most favorite quotes also in Walden, which applies to OP: "What demon possessed me that I behaved so well." In the context of reflecting on his life and regrets.
Never in the history of market day-traders’ has the obsession with so much massive, sophisticated, & powerful statistical machinery used by the brightest people on earth with such useless results.
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volleyballfwtx
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by volleyballfwtx »

myrrh wrote:There is a story about Bob the terrible market timer who only bought stocks during market peaks, but never sold, and he still did great and retired comfortably. I am having trouble with the search function but maybe someone else can find and link the story.
Bob is the world’s worst market timer.
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LadyGeek
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by LadyGeek »

How about this 29 page thread on a real-life Boglehead situation: A different approach to asset allocation
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MathWizard
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by MathWizard »

You are sitting on money and have to make decisions on what to do with it and getting frozen by indecision.

One of my wisest decisions was to make fewer decisions.

I set my contributions at work and have them automatically invest for me. (Back when the ROTH limits
were only $2K, I also had contributions to a taxable account automatically invested.)

Then I only had to make the decision once, and review as needed in case I want to increase.

Forget waiting for the market to go up or down, and focus on a steady effort. This will simplify your
life, and get your mind of the finances.
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dratkinson
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by dratkinson »

Remembered later. Can search forum for "worst investing/financial mistake" to find topics. The wisdom freely given to you was purchased dearly. Live and learn, don't repeat past mistakes; this includes dwelling upon them.

By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
-- Confucius

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
-- Khalil Gibran
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2b2
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by 2b2 »

Perhaps think about volunteering in a soup kitchen.
I'm serious.
It might take your mind off what you DON'T have and refocus you on what you DO have.

2b2
sfchris
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by sfchris »

How did you get 1.5 million at age 30? If you earned it, do that again!

Personal investment can trump investing in equities.
Angst
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Angst »

fvaldes wrote:I am now versed in Bogle way of investing but back in 2008 I wasnt.

[snip]...

I plan on holding for the long term and adding more cash as soon as a decent correction hits. ( I have $250,000 cash waiting )
You appear have a few verses left to learn. Will you let us know once that next correction has arrived?! You're trying to time the market, again. Learn from your mistakes, don't wallow in them, let alone repeat them. My suggestion is that you put your investment contributions on autopilot and cease trying to time the market.
Aussienam2020
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Aussienam2020 »

Here I am in April 2021 an stumbled across this thread in a Google search for 'financial regrets depression' as my keywords.
I am suffering from chronic severe depression and PTSD.
Fast forward this original thread in 2015 to now and here I am, another guy who has spent the last year in absolute emotional turmoil over what I felt were stupid and irrational financial decisions.
I was medically discharged from police force and deemed total permanent disability. I have no prospects of working ever again. Retired in mid 40's. Now 52 and like original OP I constantly ruminate over and over, regretting my decisions and beating myself up over them over and over again. I wake up until a sweat, racing heart, crying, cannot get out of bed to face the day, etc.
My bad decisions:
* withdrew all my Australian Superannuation (same as 401k) as I panicked over the small lump sum payments I was given (zero pension for excops in Australia now). Big mistake as was a good Super fund.
* Bought a new apartment with money and rented it out to generate income. I panicked in 2018 property 'crash' - it wasn't really a crash but I listened to too much news forecasting massive falls in value by journalists and freaked out my retirement capital money would be wiped. Boy was I WRONG. Market now in 2021 is in biggest property boom in 32 years. I see news every day and my anxiety and angst is severe. Regret and depression overwhelming.
* After sale of property I had to invest it somewhere as a medically discharged self funded retiree. I had no other realistic option I could see to generate enough income stream so opted for the share market 'again'. 2019 was a boom time and I thought things were on my side. Then BAM - COVID struck. My shares plummeted to levels I never imagined were possible. My PTSD relapse was severe (amygdala 'fight flight' took over logical frontal cortex) and all I could think was to salvage what was left. I panic sold at the VERY BOTTOM. I was a blithering wreck.
I wanted to end it.
About a week later I managed to shove most of my cash from the sell off into managed funds. One fund has performed quite well (albeit nowhere near as good as if I had bought them back myself due to their fees) and another fund that has gone nowhere in a whole year.
I put the rest into a new, albeit inferior Superannuation fund and with my disability recognised, have started a self funded pension. I cannot get out of bed now until I know the share market has closed for the day. That is how traumatised I was.
* Years ago I bought some Bitcoin but after listening to naysayers and their idea of how foolish it was to invest, I sold them at break even. Now I see if had held I would have made a very healthy life changing profit. Another source of regret, depression and anxiety.
* I have no residence in Australia and moved to Thailand, as a place for respite. No clear plans how long I will be here or where I will end up, but I have effectively burnt my bridges in ever being able to afford to buy back into the property market there. And overseas I now realise the lack of medical support and cost of treatments. I live off $34,000AUD currently, which is impossible. I am over budget and feel like I'm in a dire financial bind. The money just isn't enough and I am already investing according to a risk profile that I already struggle with. And if the Australian tax office decide one day to deem me as a non-resident then my income stream will reduce several thousand dollars more.
Today I woke in a panic because of all these regrets and ongoing issues. I was hyperventilating, heart racing and a mess. This is day after day after day for me.

I read these threads from 2015 and they do provide comfort and do help with forgiving myself to a certain extent. I have to realise that reminders of the property market, share market, Bitcoin will virtually happen daily. I have to somehow not be affected by it . But for sure 2021 is the worst year of my life as the repurcussuons of past decisions are all now becoming crystal clear.
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StevieG72
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by StevieG72 »

Aussienam2020 wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:50 am Here I am in April 2021 an stumbled across this thread in a Google search for 'financial regrets depression' as my keywords.
I am suffering from chronic severe depression and PTSD.
Fast forward this original thread in 2015 to now and here I am, another guy who has spent the last year in absolute emotional turmoil over what I felt were stupid and irrational financial decisions.
I was medically discharged from police force and deemed total permanent disability. I have no prospects of working ever again. Retired in mid 40's. Now 52 and like original OP I constantly ruminate over and over, regretting my decisions and beating myself up over them over and over again. I wake up until a sweat, racing heart, crying, cannot get out of bed to face the day, etc.
My bad decisions:
* withdrew all my Australian Superannuation (same as 401k) as I panicked over the small lump sum payments I was given (zero pension for excops in Australia now). Big mistake as was a good Super fund.
* Bought a new apartment with money and rented it out to generate income. I panicked in 2018 property 'crash' - it wasn't really a crash but I listened to too much news forecasting massive falls in value by journalists and freaked out my retirement capital money would be wiped. Boy was I WRONG. Market now in 2021 is in biggest property boom in 32 years. I see news every day and my anxiety and angst is severe. Regret and depression overwhelming.
* After sale of property I had to invest it somewhere as a medically discharged self funded retiree. I had no other realistic option I could see to generate enough income stream so opted for the share market 'again'. 2019 was a boom time and I thought things were on my side. Then BAM - COVID struck. My shares plummeted to levels I never imagined were possible. My PTSD relapse was severe (amygdala 'fight flight' took over logical frontal cortex) and all I could think was to salvage what was left. I panic sold at the VERY BOTTOM. I was a blithering wreck.
I wanted to end it.
About a week later I managed to shove most of my cash from the sell off into managed funds. One fund has performed quite well (albeit nowhere near as good as if I had bought them back myself due to their fees) and another fund that has gone nowhere in a whole year.
I put the rest into a new, albeit inferior Superannuation fund and with my disability recognised, have started a self funded pension. I cannot get out of bed now until I know the share market has closed for the day. That is how traumatised I was.
* Years ago I bought some Bitcoin but after listening to naysayers and their idea of how foolish it was to invest, I sold them at break even. Now I see if had held I would have made a very healthy life changing profit. Another source of regret, depression and anxiety.
* I have no residence in Australia and moved to Thailand, as a place for respite. No clear plans how long I will be here or where I will end up, but I have effectively burnt my bridges in ever being able to afford to buy back into the property market there. And overseas I now realise the lack of medical support and cost of treatments. I live off $34,000AUD currently, which is impossible. I am over budget and feel like I'm in a dire financial bind. The money just isn't enough and I am already investing according to a risk profile that I already struggle with. And if the Australian tax office decide one day to deem me as a non-resident then my income stream will reduce several thousand dollars more.
Today I woke in a panic because of all these regrets and ongoing issues. I was hyperventilating, heart racing and a mess. This is day after day after day for me.

I read these threads from 2015 and they do provide comfort and do help with forgiving myself to a certain extent. I have to realise that reminders of the property market, share market, Bitcoin will virtually happen daily. I have to somehow not be affected by it . But for sure 2021 is the worst year of my life as the repurcussuons of past decisions are all now becoming crystal clear.
Welcome to the forum, you luckily stumbled on to a great forum to possibly steer your finances in the right direction. Read the wiki and post a portfolio review for more help. Hang in there, it will get better!
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by LadyGeek »

^^^ Here you go: Getting started

The "Asking questions" section of that article explains how to post your portfolio info.
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Jungle Cat »

My brother is a great guy but is the model for poor financial decisions so this may make you feel better about one of his decisions.

I do not remember the exact year but when my brother was young (paper route, middle school/high school jobs) in the mid/late 70s my father invested his money in Franklin Resources. It did well but eventually my brother withdrew his money (early 80s) when he was around 17 and bought a beautiful Trans Am like Burt Reynolds used in Smokey and the Bandit.

If he did not touch that money his x thousands of dollars would have grown to $ 77 million. I thought my father was pulling my leg but I did the math myself and he was correct.

My brother doesn't have anything now but at least he can laugh about it with a lot of fun and great memories from a lifetime ago.
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David Jay
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by David Jay »

It is impossible to drive a vehicle while looking exclusively in the rear view mirror. There is nothing you can do about the past, but the future is yours to choose.
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Re: regret and depression...how to deal with it

Post by elle »

RadAudit wrote: Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:24 pm If you are going to play "woulda, shoulda, coulda", it's going to drive you crazy. Literally.

Unless you have a time machine, you can't go back and get a do over. Learn from your mistakes. It's called experience.

You can only control what you do today. You have the time and money to make this come out OK in the end. Use it.

If you are honestly having trouble moving on, talk to someone who can help you turn this around.
+1000000

Wholeheartedly agree with this. Life is full of coulda shoulda woulda scenarios. We all have them. It’s what you do with that experience that makes you a better person. You have already taken the step to learn more about investing here. I think you are on the right path.

If you feel like you can’t get out from under this feeling, please talk to a professional. If anything, it’s someone you can vent to that is unattached to you and any expectations. Sometimes they are the best to talk to!

If it helps, many of us start off late (or start off early but have no idea what we are doing - me). I chose to pay off low interest student and car loans early on instead of investing in ESPP at Accenture 15-20 years ago.. I then invested in a failed startup, my next company. Now I pick my risk tolerance and just go for the ride.
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by Aussienam2020 »

StevieG72 wrote: Tue Apr 13, 2021 8:06 am
Aussienam2020 wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:50 am Here I am in April 2021 an stumbled across this thread in a Google search for 'financial regrets depression' as my keywords.
I am suffering from chronic severe depression and PTSD.
Fast forward this original thread in 2015 to now and here I am, another guy who has spent the last year in absolute emotional turmoil over what I felt were stupid and irrational financial decisions.
I was medically discharged from police force and deemed total permanent disability. I have no prospects of working ever again. Retired in mid 40's. Now 52 and like original OP I constantly ruminate over and over, regretting my decisions and beating myself up over them over and over again. I wake up until a sweat, racing heart, crying, cannot get out of bed to face the day, etc.
My bad decisions:
* withdrew all my Australian Superannuation (same as 401k) as I panicked over the small lump sum payments I was given (zero pension for excops in Australia now). Big mistake as was a good Super fund.
* Bought a new apartment with money and rented it out to generate income. I panicked in 2018 property 'crash' - it wasn't really a crash but I listened to too much news forecasting massive falls in value by journalists and freaked out my retirement capital money would be wiped. Boy was I WRONG. Market now in 2021 is in biggest property boom in 32 years. I see news every day and my anxiety and angst is severe. Regret and depression overwhelming.
* After sale of property I had to invest it somewhere as a medically discharged self funded retiree. I had no other realistic option I could see to generate enough income stream so opted for the share market 'again'. 2019 was a boom time and I thought things were on my side. Then BAM - COVID struck. My shares plummeted to levels I never imagined were possible. My PTSD relapse was severe (amygdala 'fight flight' took over logical frontal cortex) and all I could think was to salvage what was left. I panic sold at the VERY BOTTOM. I was a blithering wreck.
I wanted to end it.
About a week later I managed to shove most of my cash from the sell off into managed funds. One fund has performed quite well (albeit nowhere near as good as if I had bought them back myself due to their fees) and another fund that has gone nowhere in a whole year.
I put the rest into a new, albeit inferior Superannuation fund and with my disability recognised, have started a self funded pension. I cannot get out of bed now until I know the share market has closed for the day. That is how traumatised I was.
* Years ago I bought some Bitcoin but after listening to naysayers and their idea of how foolish it was to invest, I sold them at break even. Now I see if had held I would have made a very healthy life changing profit. Another source of regret, depression and anxiety.
* I have no residence in Australia and moved to Thailand, as a place for respite. No clear plans how long I will be here or where I will end up, but I have effectively burnt my bridges in ever being able to afford to buy back into the property market there. And overseas I now realise the lack of medical support and cost of treatments. I live off $34,000AUD currently, which is impossible. I am over budget and feel like I'm in a dire financial bind. The money just isn't enough and I am already investing according to a risk profile that I already struggle with. And if the Australian tax office decide one day to deem me as a non-resident then my income stream will reduce several thousand dollars more.
Today I woke in a panic because of all these regrets and ongoing issues. I was hyperventilating, heart racing and a mess. This is day after day after day for me.

I read these threads from 2015 and they do provide comfort and do help with forgiving myself to a certain extent. I have to realise that reminders of the property market, share market, Bitcoin will virtually happen daily. I have to somehow not be affected by it . But for sure 2021 is the worst year of my life as the repurcussuons of past decisions are all now becoming crystal clear.
Welcome to the forum, you luckily stumbled on to a great forum to possibly steer your finances in the right direction. Read the wiki and post a portfolio review for more help. Hang in there, it will get better!
Thanks mate. I appreciate your encouragement. Shows decency in a person. Will try to fund this 'wiki' section you mentioned. :sharebeer
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Re: how to deal with it [regret over past investing choices]

Post by LadyGeek »

^^^ You can find the wiki link in the menu at the top of the page.

Start here: Getting started for non-US investors

And: Investing from Australia

Go to the Non-US Investing forum and post your info using the My portfolio: seeking advice format. You'll get plenty of help.
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