I owned a 2009 Rav4 V6 4WD Limited (Loaded with heated leather seats, backup cam, etc)
It would probably work well for your purposes. I HATED mine, got rid of it after 9 months. Luckily I got a great deal on it certified preowned and I traded it for $200 less than what I paid.
Things I hated:
The transmissions on all of the V6 models made a loud whine at speeds over 40mph. There is a TSB out for you to get a remanufactured transmission for free where they hone the top gear so that it doesn't make a horrible whine. The TSB came out in 2010 or so and Toyota continued using the noisy transmissions until they dropped the V6 in 2013.
The seats were HORRIBLE for my back/legs. I'm 6', 25 y/o male with an athletic build and a very strong back. I could drive 24+ hours straight with zero back pain in my old Jetta. The Rav4, my back would be killing me for hours after even a 45min drive. The lower cushion is very short, does not tilt up, and though it had power lumbar, it was at a fixed height. I'm back in a VW again and love it to death; maintenance is not a concern as I know these cars in and out and have had great luck over the last 8 years. Definitely take an extended test drive of the Rav4 or rent one and see if the seat bothers you. It's definitely made for smaller people or women. Also, you will have leg room problems up front if you are taller than 6' 2". Someone on the Rav4 forums found a company that makes Rav4 specific seat rail extenders to push the seat back further.
The fuel range on the V6 was horrid. Not the MPG, but the range. The Rav4 would get about 24MPG highway/18ish city (and I do have a heavy foot) but with a paltry 14 gallon tank with a somewhat thirsty V6, I would get around 200 miles per tank. So frustrating to have to fill up so often.
The interior was horrible noisy on the highway, especially at 70mph and over. Very little refinement there. I had every option too (Keyless, backupcam, leather, sunroof, tow package, etc). Also, the heated seats (one of my must have features) were terrible. The heat would stay on for MAYBE 10min or so and then go off for about 40min, even though the switch was still on. Toyota's way of saving power apparently. The seats do not stay warm like all the other cars I've driven.
Tie rods rust out, there's a TSB for this too. Lot of rust spots underneath. They don't really put much in the way of rust protection on these cars. I got mine with 40k miles and the exhaust, suspension, and metal bumpers underneath were all rusting.
Due to crappy brake design, the rotors/pads wear unevenly, so after just a few thousand miles, you will get a weird wobble sensation in the steering wheel when coming to a stop. Also, my Rav4 just decided to NOT BRAKE at all several times. I had my foot planted, the vehicle acted as if I was only applying 10% braking pressure and eventually came to a halt. Then all the dash lights lit up and cleared themselves. Dealer couldn't replicate and couldn't find any codes. When this happened with my grandmother in the car, I knew I wasn't keeping it much longer.
There are several pages of TSBs and recalls for this body style, moreso with the V6 because of the transmission.
The good parts: GREAT power off the line. Nice ground clearance for a small SUV. 4WD is ondemand btw, so there is no on/off switch. It automatically comes on when it senses loss of traction or that you are trying to accelerate. There is no way to manually lock it into 4WD mode.
If you are looking at this car, go with a Subaru Forester. 4WD is much better, though towing capacity is less than the Rav4 V6 (1500lbs vs 3500lbs).
I would suggest going with a used Ford Explorer. I know they do not have the best reliability compared with the likes of Toyota's supposed reliability (which is NOT what it used to be; neither is build quality), but they are a dime a dozen and you get a lot more for your money. A close friend bought a used but very clean 2002 Explorer Eddie Bauer edition in 2010 for $7500 cash. Also the 2002 is the same style up to almost 2007, so it still looks relatively new. Has a powerful V8, controllable and lockable 4WD, lots of room, very comfortable heated leather seats, woodgrain, sunroof, and since the explorers are so popular, parts are very cheap and easy to come by. He regularly tows his toolboxes, friends, and in the summer a 20' boat with no issue.