Life after retirement

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
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Kumte
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Life after retirement

Post by Kumte » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:41 pm

I had a question for other forum members especially ones who have retired early. How is a typical day for you? I ask because for the last few months with me at home my wife seems to get frustrated. She would love it if I would get out of the house during regular working hours. I was a former supply chain planning person with very few skills which I could apply to part-time or contract work. So I was wondering if there is anything else I could be doing which requires little skills (or develops new skills for me).

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VictoriaF
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by VictoriaF » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:47 pm

Does your wife want you to get out for exercise or other stimulation?
Does she want you to bring part-time income?
Does she want you out so that you would not bother her?
Does she want you out because your very presence bothers her?
Does she want you out because she thinks you are wasting your time at home?

Depending on the answer (answers) you may get a more useful advice.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

montanagirl
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Location: Montana

Re: Life after retirement

Post by montanagirl » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:51 pm

I'm not retired yet, but I remember when my husband first retired 5 years ago. We used to take different lunch breaks (both coming home to eat) and I was used to having a lot of solitude to practice my music or just zone out.

It was disconcerting to have him around all the time and it seems like he needs to talk a lot more now that he's got no coworkers. He also tends to follow me around - if I read, he reads. If I eat, he eats. If I make some sudden movement, like put my coat on to go outside, he asks what I'm doing. Do you do that?

Lately he's been more absorbed in his wood shop and that has helped.

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Sheepdog
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Location: Indiana, retired 1998 at age 65

Re: Life after retirement

Post by Sheepdog » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:58 pm

My wife was scared that we would not get along being so close all day. That was 15 years ago. There were very few problems, if any, though...surprisingly. She has her space, I have mine. She watches one TV and I another, much of the time. She does most cooking at night (I do some, of course), but we do most of our own breakfast and lunch. We never shop together, except for a big purchase like an auto and appliances. I do most grocery shopping alone. I do all house maintenance including vacuuming. She does other things. We volunteer in separate ways.
We found our way to be who we are in retirement as we were when we were employed. Did we have arguments? Yes, and they always worked out as long as I was the one at fault. 8-)

Carol, we, luckily, never had the problems you mentioned. We could continue being our own selves as we did in our separate careers.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter which tells what kind of life you have lived---Helen Walton

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Toons
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Location: Hills of Tennessee

Re: Life after retirement

Post by Toons » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:05 pm

Sheepdog wrote:My wife was scared that we would not get along being so close all day. That was 15 years ago. There were very few problems, if any, though...surprisingly. She has her space, I have mine. She watches one TV and I another, much of the time. She does most cooking at night (I do some, of course), but we do most of our own breakfast and lunch. We never shop together, except for a big purchase like an auto and appliances. I do most grocery shopping alone. I do all house maintenance including vacuuming. She does other things. We volunteer in separate ways.
We found our way to be who we are in retirement as we were when we were employed. Did we have arguments? Yes, and they always worked out as long as I was the one at fault. 8-)
Nice post Sheepdog,,especially the last sentence :sharebeer
Retired for a couple years here,we stay busy,exercise ,travel some,separate areas with TVs if so we so choose to watch what we want.Go most places together,having a lot in common is important.
Do we have arguments?Sure thats part of life,but as you said I do of lot saying ,
"You are right, I don't know what I was thinking" :happy
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee

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ThePrune
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Location: Midland, MI

Re: Life after retirement

Post by ThePrune » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:22 pm

kumte, what you are describing can be typical for the first year(s) of retirement. Many couples have reported that the early stages of joint retirement (both no longer working) are as stressful as when they had their first child! Although it's not really what you asked for, my advice is to spend some time reading a book or two that deal specifically with the relational / emotional aspects of the early retirement time period. If your library has a copy, I recommend Sara Yogev's A Couple's Guide to Happy Retirement: For Better or For Worse... But Not For Lunch.
Investment skill is often just luck in sheep's clothing.

livesoft
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by livesoft » Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:33 pm

There are two things that my son does:
1. Go to the gym all day, and
2. Walk the dog.

Both are good for you.
Wiki This signature message sponsored by sscritic: Learn to fish.

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FNK
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by FNK » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:00 pm

Not going to be an issue any time soon, but sure reminded me of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtcF1_BBq5Q

Calm Man
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by Calm Man » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:06 pm

It reminds me of one of the reasons I got divorced. OP, two thoughts. One, why can't she leave the house? Why you? Second, I crack up when I hear this not uncommonly from people I know when they retire or get laid off. They don't like being home with their spouse and spending too much time together.. Duhhhhhh

Travman100
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by Travman100 » Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:21 am

Kumte wrote:I had a question for other forum members especially ones who have retired early. How is a typical day for you? I ask because for the last few months with me at home my wife seems to get frustrated. She would love it if I would get out of the house during regular working hours. I was a former supply chain planning person with very few skills which I could apply to part-time or contract work. So I was wondering if there is anything else I could be doing which requires little skills (or develops new skills for me).
Arthur Murray still offers classes for couples who need to figure out what to do together. ;-) Do you ever watch the ED commercials, you will have more time for that as well, which isn't a bad thing.

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cheese_breath
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by cheese_breath » Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:36 am

While you were still working you each had your own lives, much of which didn't include the other person. Retired life is different. Maybe you should both consider counseling to learn how to live together.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

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shmidds
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by shmidds » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:50 am

Take up parkour.

carolinaman
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by carolinaman » Fri Jan 03, 2014 7:40 am

I retired 3 years ago and can say it is an adjustment being at home a lot more. I had a very demanding job, often spending 60+ hours at work each week. When I cam home I usually had work issues on my mind and was not that talkative. My wife and I had limited time together during the week. We have more time together but we each have lots of things we do independent of one another. My wife has a group of friends who like to attend movies, other attractions, shop together, eat out, etc. and I go to the gym, play golf and do some volunteer work. It seems to work pretty well. Interestingly, my wife often encourages me to go play golf. I thought she was being nice to me but maybe she just wanted some peace and solitude. Hmmm.

We had a neighbor whose wife got a parttime job after he retired because spending so much time together got on her nerves.

There is definitely a balance to strike on this matter. Staying home all or most of the time can lead to many problems for individuals and couples.

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frugaltype
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by frugaltype » Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:19 am

You folks are destroying all my thoughts of romance :-)

DouglasDoug
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by DouglasDoug » Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:45 am

Just so happens "Revolutionary Road" is on HBO. Take off on an African safari solo.

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EternalOptimist
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by EternalOptimist » Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:58 pm

What do you want to do, are you happy /satisfied with your life? I'm retired ~3 years and am always out of the house....playing tennis, shopping, going to the library, volunteering etc. Find stuff that makes you happy, after all it is your life. Enjoy
"When nothing goes right....go left"

jebmke
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by jebmke » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:02 pm

Kumte wrote:I had a question for other forum members especially ones who have retired early. How is a typical day for you? I ask because for the last few months with me at home my wife seems to get frustrated. She would love it if I would get out of the house during regular working hours. I was a former supply chain planning person with very few skills which I could apply to part-time or contract work. So I was wondering if there is anything else I could be doing which requires little skills (or develops new skills for me).
Look into becoming a volunteer with AARP TaxAide. They teach you everything you need to know to prepare tax returns for seniors and low-income taxpayers. It gets you out of the house and you will meet a lot of interesting people.
When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

blueheaven
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 8:11 pm

Re: Life after retirement

Post by blueheaven » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:11 pm

When a male friend of mine retired his wife got a part-time job. It seemed to work out great. She kept the job for a couple of years which gave him time to find out what he wanted to do with his time.

gkaplan
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Location: Portland, Oregon

Re: Life after retirement

Post by gkaplan » Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:36 pm

jebmke wrote:
Kumte wrote:I had a question for other forum members especially ones who have retired early. How is a typical day for you? I ask because for the last few months with me at home my wife seems to get frustrated. She would love it if I would get out of the house during regular working hours. I was a former supply chain planning person with very few skills which I could apply to part-time or contract work. So I was wondering if there is anything else I could be doing which requires little skills (or develops new skills for me).
Look into becoming a volunteer with AARP TaxAide. They teach you everything you need to know to prepare tax returns for seniors and low-income taxpayers. It gets you out of the house and you will meet a lot of interesting people.
Do you have a direct link to the AARP TaxAide volunteer site?

Thanks.
Gordon

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Sheepdog
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Location: Indiana, retired 1998 at age 65

Re: Life after retirement

Post by Sheepdog » Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:04 pm

gkaplan wrote:
jebmke wrote:[
Look into becoming a volunteer with AARP TaxAide. They teach you everything you need to know to prepare tax returns for seniors and low-income taxpayers. It gets you out of the house and you will meet a lot of interesting people.
Do you have a direct link to the AARP TaxAide volunteer site?

Thanks.
Here ya go.
http://www.aarp.org/money/taxes/aarp_taxaide/
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter which tells what kind of life you have lived---Helen Walton

chaz
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by chaz » Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:06 pm

gkaplan wrote:
jebmke wrote:
Kumte wrote:I had a question for other forum members especially ones who have retired early. How is a typical day for you? I ask because for the last few months with me at home my wife seems to get frustrated. She would love it if I would get out of the house during regular working hours. I was a former supply chain planning person with very few skills which I could apply to part-time or contract work. So I was wondering if there is anything else I could be doing which requires little skills (or develops new skills for me).
Look into becoming a volunteer with AARP TaxAide. They teach you everything you need to know to prepare tax returns for seniors and low-income taxpayers. It gets you out of the house and you will meet a lot of interesting people.
Do you have a direct link to the AARP TaxAide volunteer site?

Thanks.
Try google. I found http://www.aarp.org/money/taxes/info-20 ... xaide.html
Good luck.
Chaz | | “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Woody Allen | | http://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page

chaz
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Re: Life after retirement

Post by chaz » Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:07 pm

Looks like Sheepdog got your answer 1st.
Chaz | | “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Woody Allen | | http://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/index.php/Main_Page

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