Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills

Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Him
106
65%
Her
28
17%
Both
28
17%
Other
2
1%
 
Total votes: 164

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mike143
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Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mike143 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:07 pm

Curious who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both? Always heard that women generally do, wonder how it really stacks up.

I manage all our finances, all my wife has to do is give me the receipts. Some times my wife complains about money and I have to tell her we are doing very well off. I am going to start to give her monthly net worth reports and sit down once a year and establish goals and reflect if we met prior years goals.
Last edited by mike143 on Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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gerrym51
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by gerrym51 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:09 pm

my wife :mrgreen:

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Meg77
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Meg77 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:22 pm

I think it depends on what you mean by "manages our finances." In my experience as a banker and with friends I'd say that most often the men manage the investments but the women manage the budget/spending/bill paying. I'm about to get married and I expect my husband and I will both manage everything - in other words overdoing it big time. But we both like tracking spending and analyzing investments and growth. So I expect it'll be pretty much 50/50. Or 100/100 for better or worse. :)
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." - Benjamin Franklin

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SimpleGift
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by SimpleGift » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:25 pm

Now in retirement, we have separate portfolios, which we've each maintained for most of our adult lives. Both portfolios are passively invested, according to Boglehead principles, and we rely on withdrawals from both for our annual spending needs.
Last edited by SimpleGift on Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sam I Am
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Sam I Am » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:32 pm

Message deleted.
Last edited by Sam I Am on Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

James2
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by James2 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 3:41 pm

I handle long term investing, my wife handles the day to day finances and we meet somewhere in the middle.

BuckyBadger
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by BuckyBadger » Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:17 pm

Her (me), day to day as well as long term investments. Every once in a while my husband asks if we can afford something and I try to tell him how well we are doing but he just doesn't care!

When we are able to retire before age 55 it's going to come as a huge shock to him!

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by EternalOptimist » Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:20 pm

I manage the investments and she manages the banking/bills. Been that way for years and it seems to work.
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jimgour
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by jimgour » Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:25 pm

Meg77 wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by "manages our finances." In my experience as a banker and with friends I'd say that most often the men manage the investments but the women manage the budget/spending/bill paying.
That is exactly how it works at our house, and it works well.

Jim

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BHCadet
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by BHCadet » Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:29 pm

I manage all the finances... Investments, bills, and banking.
But, my wife manages our health.

DVMResident
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by DVMResident » Sun Aug 11, 2013 4:39 pm

Sam I Am wrote:I manage all our finances, despite repeated efforts to engage my wife. No sell. ZERO interest. Oh well, I did try.
+1 :idea: Reminds me: go make a simple to follow investment plan just in case

staythecourse
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by staythecourse » Sun Aug 11, 2013 5:11 pm

DVMResident wrote:
Sam I Am wrote:I manage all our finances, despite repeated efforts to engage my wife. No sell. ZERO interest. Oh well, I did try.
+1 :idea: Reminds me: go make a simple to follow investment plan just in case
+2. She just reminds me every once in awhile that bogleheads better not be some shorthand of a Vegas betting scheme.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

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Toons
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Toons » Sun Aug 11, 2013 5:13 pm

Both of us make financial decisions :happy
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flipflopliving
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by flipflopliving » Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:29 pm

Hi Mike,
I manage all, but my hubby happily listens and stays involved when I bring it up. :sharebeer Side note, I think this forum may be tilted to men so that could skew the results.

All the best,
Flipflopliving
Take the course opposite to custom, you will almost always do well. Rousseau

mlipps
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mlipps » Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:40 pm

flipflopliving wrote:Hi Mike,
I manage all, but my hubby happily listens and stays involved when I bring it up. :sharebeer Side note, I think this forum may be tilted to men so that could skew the results.

All the best,
Flipflopliving
+1 for our family as well

eddiejov55
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by eddiejov55 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 6:49 pm

staythecourse wrote:
DVMResident wrote:
Sam I Am wrote:I manage all our finances, despite repeated efforts to engage my wife. No sell. ZERO interest. Oh well, I did try.
+1 :idea: Reminds me: go make a simple to follow investment plan just in case
+2. She just reminds me every once in awhile that bogleheads better not be some shorthand of a Vegas betting scheme.

Good luck.
+3. Looks like I have some company in the "no matter how hard I try, my wife has zero interest in participating in anything related to finances" conversation. However, she is an active participant in the spending part...

MathWizard
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by MathWizard » Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:04 pm

My wife was a book-keeper, I'm a mathematician.

I manage the retirement investments, she usually reconciles the bank statements.
Otherwise we make financial decisions together.

vveat
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by vveat » Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:16 pm

I do. No matter how hard I try, my husband has zero interest in participating in anything related to finances.

I think it's more about who has what skills and interests (book-keeping or whatever) rather than gender-related.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by sschullo » Sun Aug 11, 2013 7:50 pm

Both of us for 38 years, from knowing nothing, starting late, making mistakes, managing successfully and wrote a book about it.
Public School K-12 Educators: "Ask NOT what your annuity sales person can do for you, ask what you can do to be a Do-It-Yourselfer (DIY)."

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mhc » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:08 pm

I (him) manage all finances. My wife use to pay all the bills (she is an accountant). When I switched to bill pay through the bank, I took over paying all bills. She loved writing checks, balancing the check book, .... She has no interest in paying bills online. We make all large financial decisions together which usually goes like "I think we should do xyz." She says, "sounds good."

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by LadyGeek » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:16 pm

This thread is now in the Personal Finance (Not Investing) forum (finance management).
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pennstater2005
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by pennstater2005 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:23 pm

I do the investing and the banking/bill payments. I probably should get my wife involved so she knows all the passwords and how to navigate the accounts if something ever happened to me. We talk about it but never move on it.
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by tludwig23 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:24 pm

I manage all the finances, investments, insurance, bills, etc. My wife handles all the IT for our computers, wifi, smartphones, etc. I think I got the better deal.
That's what I do: I drink, and I know things. --Tyrion Lannister

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cheese_breath
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by cheese_breath » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:28 pm

Me. Occasionally she will say she wants to know more about our finances, but loses interest after about 30 seconds when I start explaining it. I guess her main concern is.. do we have enough money for ____ (fill in the blank).
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by ruralavalon » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:32 pm

I do now. I handle investing and now handle the bill paying on-line, and auto-pay from credit cards or checking. She has no interest in investing (in despite of efforts to interest her), used to pay the bills when it was done by check, and still reconciles the check register even though I also use Quicken. She has always been more frugal than I am, so budgeting has never been an issue. All big purchases are decided jointly. Married 45 years, as of last week :) .
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Gnirk » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:40 pm

We each handle our own. Although when investing, we often confer with one another.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:40 pm

I balance the checkbook, pay the bills, make the investments, arrange for insurance coverage and try, try, try, to no avail to get her interested in investing. But that could be because she has two full time jobs - work and then running a household. :happy She knows about the Bogleheads site, where are accounts are held and my mini-library of books. She's only interested in two things: 1) are the bills paid? 2) are we on track for our goals? That's it.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by pennstater2005 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:49 pm

cheese_breath wrote:Me. Occasionally she will say she wants to know more about our finances, but loses interest after about 30 seconds when I start explaining it. I guess her main concern is.. do we have enough money for ____ (fill in the blank).
More like 20 seconds for my wife :happy
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connya
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by connya » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:59 pm

I am curious what "Other" could mean.

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mike143
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mike143 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 9:02 pm

connya wrote:I am curious what "Other" could mean.
Same sex relationships or you let your child, grandmother, dog, manage your finances.
Nothing is free, someone pays...You can't spend your way to financial freedom.

Texas hold em71
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Texas hold em71 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 9:03 pm

Maybe OTHER is a financial adviser, CPA, or maybe your kids? I have a very astute poodle but the beagle- him I don't trust.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by cheese_breath » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:16 pm

Texas hold em71 wrote:Maybe OTHER is a financial adviser, CPA, or maybe your kids? I have a very astute poodle but the beagle- him I don't trust.
I'd trust the poodle before the FA.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

FedGuy
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by FedGuy » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:27 pm

I'm single, so I suppose I could have answered "Him," but I thought that was misleading since the question seems to presuppose a couple. So, I answered "Other."

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Sheepdog » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:29 pm

Before retiring I did the investing and my wife did the bill paying. After retiring, she was happy to let me do it all.
She has not interest in learning to handle investing....or even learning how to use a computer. I wish she would, but, on the other hand, I don't have her looking over my shoulder and saying "Why in the hell did you do that?"
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by John3754 » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:35 pm

Meg77 wrote:In my experience as a banker and with friends I'd say that most often the men manage the investments but the women manage the budget/spending/bill paying.
This is exactly how it works in my house, I manage the investment/retirement accounts and my wife handles the checking account, budget, and bills.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by cheese_breath » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:13 pm

Meg77 wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by "manages our finances." In my experience as a banker and with friends I'd say that most often the men manage the investments but the women manage the budget/spending/bill paying. I'm about to get married and I expect my husband and I will both manage everything - in other words overdoing it big time. But we both like tracking spending and analyzing investments and growth. So I expect it'll be pretty much 50/50. Or 100/100 for better or worse. :)
Marriage 101 .. If the husband manages the finances, the wife better manage her man.
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by ddunca1944 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:17 am

Sam I Am wrote:I manage all our finances, despite repeated efforts to engage my wife. No sell. ZERO interest. Oh well, I did try.

Hopefully I won't wig out and head to Vegas with our cashed-in Vanguard accounts booty. :shock:

Sam I Am
This is me. Only it's my husband who has zero interest in money and tells me so.... I do insist on a sit down "financial meeting" quarterly (he complained when it was monthly) so he can see how much there is, where it is going, and how we are doing in general. My problem is not that he is a spendthrift. The opposite. He is afraid to spend a dime and I have to tell him all the time, "It's OK. Go ahead. We CAN afford it!!

He is great about giving me receipts so I can track our spending in YNAB, and sometimes, towards the end of the month I might ask him to limit spending to necessities only.

He is even less interested in how our IRA accounts are invested. Once in a while, if I feel changes need to be made, I talk to him. He tells me to do what I think is best. The amount of trust he has in me is scary.

I was so concerned about what he'd do if I die first (I'm 4 years older). In addition to wills, healthcare directives, etc, I made a "How the bills are paid" sheet listing income, and outgo, method of payment, due dates (most are on auto). In addition, I have instructions on how to change our dividend/cap gains distributions and set it to go to the checking account (to offset the loss of my pension/SS), and created a contingency budget for him.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by travellight » Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:52 am

I wonder what the gender distribution is on this forum.... I would think the results would correlate with that.
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by MoonOrb » Mon Aug 12, 2013 10:47 am

Meg77 wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by "manages our finances." In my experience as a banker and with friends I'd say that most often the men manage the investments but the women manage the budget/spending/bill paying. I'm about to get married and I expect my husband and I will both manage everything - in other words overdoing it big time. But we both like tracking spending and analyzing investments and growth. So I expect it'll be pretty much 50/50. Or 100/100 for better or worse. :)
QFT. She writes about 99% of our checks, looks at our credit card bills, is the person to call up the bank or credit card company or whoever when that needs to be done. I'm the one who sets our investing goals, manages our investments, and interacts with the custodians for our investment accounts.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by desertbandit442 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:06 am

pennstater2005 wrote:
cheese_breath wrote:Me. Occasionally she will say she wants to know more about our finances, but loses interest after about 30 seconds when I start explaining it. I guess her main concern is.. do we have enough money for ____ (fill in the blank).
More like 20 seconds for my wife :happy
Same here, maybe about 10-15 seconds for my wife. I tried to have a monthly 10 min meeting, then tried a quarterly 10 min meeting, and finally just an annual 10 min meeting to show her our finances. Still no luck--she's just not interested in the investment side. Thank goodness she is on the frugal side, so no problem there. I finally just wrote out instructions for when I go, but I doubt she will read them :confused

IlliniDave
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by IlliniDave » Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:07 am

I'm single so my "him" vote might be misleading. But when I wasn't single the answer was still the same. I was among the group who tried repeatedly to get my spouse engaged but was totally unsuccessful.
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by technovelist » Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:21 am

pennstater2005 wrote:I do the investing and the banking/bill payments. I probably should get my wife involved so she knows all the passwords and how to navigate the accounts if something ever happened to me. We talk about it but never move on it.
That is very important. What if something happens to you suddenly?
I have made a very detailed asset listing and instruction sheet for my wife and keep it up to date. We're supposed to practice what would happen if I'm not there on a regular basis but it doesn't happen as often as I would like. We did part of it this past weekend but have to finish it this week.
In theory, theory and practice are identical. In practice, they often differ.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Easy Rhino » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:24 pm

the most common answer will probably be 'whichever person reads bogleheads" :)

I (him) do both. I kind of perversely like paying bills, and doing taxes and managing investments. My wife likes none of those things.

I've heard that the "traditional" arrangement where the wife pays bills and the husband does investments may not always be a good one. It's really better to focus on the aptitudes and interests of the people involved.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mojave » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:28 pm

Definitely me (wife). I've tried getting my husband involved but it's not his forte or interest. I kind of enjoy it. He does sit down with me when I ask but he doesn't like to spend more than 10 minutes talking about it. Only wish he understood investments more because he is cautious of anything to do with the stock market, believing that saved cash is the only way to go.

He kills bugs, does repairs and fixes my car. Oh and works 6 or 7 days a week. :)

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mojave
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by mojave » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:30 pm

Also would like to add - I use mint.com and have weekly summarys texted to him so he can see where we are with spending each week since he doesn't care to spend time talking about it. It's great for us.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by chaz » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:33 pm

I do, though DW shows interest in the daily market fluctuations.
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by G-Money » Mon Aug 12, 2013 12:41 pm

I manage it all. I give her the executive summary once a year. She knows we have a single joint checking account. She knows where all the financial records are. She certainly has the ability to manage everything, but she's happy to let me do it. I keep the portfolio relatively simple, so I have no concerns about her managing things if I can't.
Don't assume I know what I'm talking about.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by WorkToLive » Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:08 pm

vveat wrote:I do. No matter how hard I try, my husband has zero interest in participating in anything related to finances.

I think it's more about who has what skills and interests (book-keeping or whatever) rather than gender-related.
+1. This is exactly my situation.

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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by LarryG » Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:17 pm

My wife handles all finances except investments which I handle. I also do state and federal income tax returns.
I do consult my wife before making any changes in investments.
Larry G

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Ice-9
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Re: Who manages your finances? Him/Her/Both?

Post by Ice-9 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 1:32 pm

staythecourse wrote:
DVMResident wrote:
Sam I Am wrote:I manage all our finances, despite repeated efforts to engage my wife. No sell. ZERO interest. Oh well, I did try.
+1 :idea: Reminds me: go make a simple to follow investment plan just in case
+2. She just reminds me every once in awhile that bogleheads better not be some shorthand of a Vegas betting scheme.

Good luck.
+3. She even gets mad at me sometimes when I try to bring up finances spontaneously. If something of note happens, I have to ease into it, "Honey, we're going to need to talk finances sometime soon." "Can it wait until Saturday morning?" :annoyed

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