Kids not interested in money / allowance

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petrisunset
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Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by petrisunset » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm

Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
I tried to educate them since they were little (Money doesn’t grow on trees & saving/spending/giving). Obviously with zero success and I am close to giving up.
We live a BH lifestyle: Well below our means and saving a lot. We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. But certainly not on the lavish, extravagant side. No Apple-products, no trips to Disneyland, no crazy wants. Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.
Any BHs out there with similar experience? Amy suggestions what else I can try to raise financially educated & responsible kids?

retiredjg
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by retiredjg » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:57 pm

If they were always waiting for their $5 each week and then spending it on garbage and asking for more, that is what I would consider uneducated and irresponsible. To me, there is nothing in your post that suggests they are not already "financially educated and responsible". :D

Nevertheless, I'm sure you have your reasons to ask the question. I think setting a good example is all a parent can do. You've already told them all the usual good stuff. Now, just let them watch you do it. The bigger deal you make of it, the more likely they will rebel.

I do think a one time trip to Disney is worth saving for though. :happy

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White Coat Investor
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by White Coat Investor » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:58 pm

You need to tie money to something they want/love. Probably video games given the age/gender.
1) Invest you must 2) Time is your friend 3) Impulse is your enemy | 4) Basic arithmetic works 5) Stick to simplicity 6) Stay the course

RadAudit
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by RadAudit » Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:59 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
None of them has any interest in money.

This will change.
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. - PS: The Calvary isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.

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GoldStar
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by GoldStar » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:02 pm

Do you allow them to spend the money the way they want or do you tie restrictions to it?
Do they know what $5 buys them versus $10 versus $15 versus $20? Do they have hobbies or interests you could tie these example amounts to? (sports equipment or fan-shirts; video-game; etc.).
If nothing else - my kids used to save to buy a Birthday present for their parents :)

corysold
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by corysold » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:04 pm

What are they allowed to do with their allowance?

If they are made to save it, I can see why they don't care. Kids don't see long term like that.

My kids aren't overly interested in money either and I have some about your age. We usually make them save half and they get to spend half. They get a small allowance, but most comes from birthday gifts. That gives them some gratification and understanding that money is both for saving for the future and spending on current needs. Which for them seems to be candy or toys, but I'm ok with that for now.

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mhc
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by mhc » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:12 pm

As a kid, I always had to use my own money to buy presents for others. I also had to use my own money to go to the movies and buy popcorn and such. I was expected to pay for my own stuff outside the basic needs of life. This motivated me to earn and save, in other words, to handle money wisely.

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sunny_socal
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by sunny_socal » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:13 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
I tried to educate them since they were little (Money doesn’t grow on trees & saving/spending/giving). Obviously with zero success and I am close to giving up.
We live a BH lifestyle: Well below our means and saving a lot. We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. But certainly not on the lavish, extravagant side. No Apple-products, no trips to Disneyland, no crazy wants. Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.
Any BHs out there with similar experience? Amy suggestions what else I can try to raise financially educated & responsible kids?
Cut down on the toys/fun stuff and they'll get interested in $$ very quickly! When they must buy their own toys they'll connect the dots :wink:

KlangFool
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by KlangFool » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:15 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
I tried to educate them since they were little (Money doesn’t grow on trees & saving/spending/giving). Obviously with zero success and I am close to giving up.
We live a BH lifestyle: Well below our means and saving a lot. We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. But certainly not on the lavish, extravagant side. No Apple-products, no trips to Disneyland, no crazy wants. Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.
Any BHs out there with similar experience? Amy suggestions what else I can try to raise financially educated & responsible kids?
petrisunset,

<<within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. >>

Why are you making this decision for them? Give them a slightly bigger allowance and let them decide what and when to buy.

<<Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.>>

Same here. We gave $25 for birthday and X'mas. Our kids decide what they choose to buy or not buy with that money.

KlangFool

J295
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by J295 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:22 pm

They are learning a lot by your example.

Remember also each person, including each child, is unique.

Our three (all now adults) each orient to $$$ differently and successfully in their own way.

FoolMeOnce
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by FoolMeOnce » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:42 pm

I wouldn't worry that they don't want money yet. Though it suggests that you buy all their wants. Maybe it is just that they don't want manny material things, which is good.

You could consider starting a spreadsheet to track their "bank" balance, deposit their periodic allowance, and build in some accruing interest at a rate comparable to an investment portfolio. Track withdrawals if they ever want to spend some of their money. In a few years they may be surprised to see how much the balance has grown by saving and "investing," which could have an immediate and lasting impact on their financial education.

I read about this method on Mr. Money Mustache.

Jags4186
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Jags4186 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:45 pm

You should stop paying for something they have. If they still want it they can use their own money. If they shrug and say “ok” cut something else. Keep cutting until they start paying for something.

When they start going out with their friends on their own they’ll care more about money. I don’t really think I cared about money until my friends and I started hanging out at the local diner. Someone has to pay for disco fries.

annielouise
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by annielouise » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:49 pm

I have a niece who, when pressed for gift ideas, will ask for things like fruit, pencils, and socks. The girl has no interest in stuff like toys. I think she will do fine in life.

Do you use a budget? Instead of giving my son an allowance, I put him in charge of portions of the budget that he cared about. The first one was dessert at restaurants. $5/month. He could spend it when he wanted (we didn't get dessert ourselves). Other options are toys, media, clothing, entertainment. By age 14, he had complete control over his portions of the budget. When he got his first job at age 16/17, he started his own budget.

staythecourse
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by staythecourse » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:02 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
I tried to educate them since they were little (Money doesn’t grow on trees & saving/spending/giving). Obviously with zero success and I am close to giving up.
We live a BH lifestyle: Well below our means and saving a lot. We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. But certainly not on the lavish, extravagant side. No Apple-products, no trips to Disneyland, no crazy wants. Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.
Any BHs out there with similar experience? Amy suggestions what else I can try to raise financially educated & responsible kids?
What is surprising about that? Basically you give them what they want so why do they care about an allowance. Man I wish someone gave me even NOW $25/ month for doing nothing but being alive.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

GoldenFinch
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by GoldenFinch » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:06 pm

I would not be concerned at these ages. If they are not into consumption or savings yet, that’s not a bad thing.

NotWhoYouThink
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by NotWhoYouThink » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:24 pm

My mother collects thimbles and napkin rings. I don't use either. If she gave me one every month I wouldn't be very interested in it. Even if she told me the history and international cultural depictions of thimbles and napkin rings.

If your kids don't have any use for money because all their needs are met, they'll look at that weekly $5 about the same way I look at thimbles and napkin rings. A weird thing that my parent collects that isn't relevant to my life.

If your kids need money to buy things they want but you won't buy for them, then it might take on a bigger significance. My kids used to forget to ask for allowance, so I set up bank accounts for them and transferred money to the accounts every week. At 8 and 11 they didn't use it for much, but soon started using it for entertainment, and maybe for purchases on vacations. As they got older, maybe about 13 the allowance increased and I stopped buying their clothes, they had to pick out and pay for their on clothes. One of the two has been out of the house for years and still doesn't care about money, but he knows enough to keep from running out.

Are you giving them actual cash money? Because that is increasingly considered an inconvenience by most people under 30. They want electronic accounts accessible from devices.

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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Doom&Gloom » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:36 pm

If they have no interest in an allowance, quit giving them one. What's the point?

If you want to raise their interest in the importance and use of money, quit buying "extras" for them except for gifts at holidays and birthdays. They will almost certainly begin to miss an allowance--or better yet earning money for jobs above and beyond their chores at home.

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lthenderson
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by lthenderson » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:42 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.

We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids.
First, I think your children are a little young yet to be concerned. I really didn't start being concerned with money until I was quite a bit older and getting more independent. Then I couldn't earn enough of it.

Second, like others, it sounds like you fulfill all their wants right now so they don't need money for other things. All the money my kids received at those ages went straight into their savings account.

sailaway
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by sailaway » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:14 pm

If they don't ask for it, put it in a savings account.

texasdiver
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by texasdiver » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm

My middle daughter was like that. Never cared about money and never asked for any until she got into high school. Her grandparents would give her gift cards for birthdays and Christmas and if I didn't pay attention they would just get lost in her desk and never spent.

Now that she is in HS she occasionally asks for money when she goes out with her friends but that's about it. She rarely spends all I give her and always returns the change without being prompted. If she goes to the mall with friends to watch a movie on a Saturday I might give her a $20 and she always returns with change.

She actually has an after school job teaching piano and just saves all that money. I got her a youth account with USAA which has both a checking account with debit card and a savings account that she can manage herself with her cell phone app. Her savings total just keeps growing because she doesn't find things worth spending her hard-earned money on. Once in a blue moon she will order up something cheap on etsy or ebay but it barely makes a dent in her weekly earnings.

By contrast, her older sister was the complete opposite. Money would burn a hole in her pocket and she never ever had enough. That's still the case in her junior year in college. She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?

staythecourse
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by staythecourse » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm

texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

texasdiver
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by texasdiver » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:21 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm
texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.

Good luck.
Yes, and it's far bigger than just allowance. Oldest daughter was an endless shopper and would make my wife crazy with all the constant requests for new shoes/clothes and I don't even want to remember what we had to spend on junior and senior proms. and of course she went through about 3 broken/lost cell phones in MS and HS. Middle daughter? My wife can't get her to wear anything other than old jeans, beat up converse sneakers, and t-shirts. She wears whatever my wife buys for her without comment except for any shoes that aren't converse unless they are for a dress up school event like a band concert and she will grudgingly wear black flats. If/when prom comes around she and her friends will likely pick up vintage dresses at a thrift shop that they can wear with "irony"...with the white converse of course. She would rather die then be caught in a prom dress store. And we likely won't have to spend a dime. She's also never lost or even scratched her phone and never hits her data limit. Kids can be completely different. Each one cannot understand the other.
Last edited by texasdiver on Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:57 pm, edited 5 times in total.

helloeveryone
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by helloeveryone » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:25 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
I tried to educate them since they were little (Money doesn’t grow on trees & saving/spending/giving). Obviously with zero success and I am close to giving up.
We live a BH lifestyle: Well below our means and saving a lot. We provide shelter, food, cloths and - within reason - toys/fun stuff to our kids. But certainly not on the lavish, extravagant side. No Apple-products, no trips to Disneyland, no crazy wants. Things like bicycle (low/medium price range) as birthday present.
Any BHs out there with similar experience? Amy suggestions what else I can try to raise financially educated & responsible kids?
This book was really helpful for us. Ours are roughly your children's age. They get $5 per week. All toys & random things come out of their "bank of dad". The book in the link explains it all. Very short quick read (I skim for the big picture usually). Since we started doing this they look at how much things cost, and whether it's worth their "money" to buy whatever it is they are considering buying.

The thing we did was when we instituted this "bank account" (notebook at home with date, deposit, withdraw, balance) was tell them from here on out any toys you buy will be with your "money".

https://www.amazon.com/First-National-B ... 1416534253

Mingus
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Mingus » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:16 pm

petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
Hi BHs,
I have two sons (11 & 8 years). None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
Do they have any chores? I'd presume if the act of labor was a pre-requisite for the money, and all their toys/game weren't being provided, they'd probably be much more interested. Part of being financially responsible is knowing that it's part of an equation involving labor of some sort.

123
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by 123 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:55 pm

One of our children, out of college now for a few years, is still not very interested in money. Child still lives with us but works and pretty much all earnings goes into savings account (including Roth). Most of child's spending has been on books over the years (like her parents) but that has dropped to almost zero since content for just about every interest in available online. Chld is not into fashion/wardrobe or cars/travel and while she visits with friends is not a party animal. Other than college her biggest expense has been cell phone (We gave her an iphone when she started college and upgraded it when she graduated). She is interested in how to invest but doesn't have any spending goals. We're not worried yet but are curious about how long this nirvana will last.

Both spouse and I grew up to be self-sufficient and not big spenders. We've never worried about money, not because we were given or inherited any, but because we've been savers and believed in self-sufficiency.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

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Alexa9
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Alexa9 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:00 pm

Sounds pretty normal. What do they like? Are they aware of how much things cost? A house, car, computer, vacation, smartphone, etc.? Perhaps a personal finance course in middle school might open their eyes. Growing up sheltered about money (not saying they are) will be shocking once they are on their own and a recipe for disaster. Agree with others that they're a bit young and you don't want them obsessed with money either. The time value of money calculator excited me when I was young.

randomguy
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by randomguy » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:04 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm
texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.

Good luck.
Anyone with 2 kids will notice differences. Parental influence is only part of the equation. Peers, genetics and random life events factor in a ton in how kids turn out. I can assure you that I fed both kids the same foods and the fact that one eats broccoli and the other doesn't has nothing to do with parenting:)

To some extent you need to tailor the teaching to the kids as one size doesn't fit all. At some point the kid is likely to want to buy something and that might be your teachable moment.

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fortfun
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by fortfun » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:07 pm

I'm cheap and my kids are cheap too. My son has a big jar of money, never spends a penny. They do chores and feed the neighbor's pets when they are gone. They keep everything. Most of their hobbies are on the educational side and we pay for that. Art, piano lessons, hiking, camping, traveling, etc. They are not interested in the latest fashion and share a trac-phone between the two of them. I'm sure things will change eventually but for now I'm happy they are frugal and they understand saving is important. They also seem to understand that spending a bunch of money won't make them happy either. I wouldn't worry about it. When they want their first phones, I'll make them pay for that.

getthatmarshmallow
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by getthatmarshmallow » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:38 pm

Mine are littler, but honestly I wouldn't worry about it too much. They don't care much about money. If it's because they have everything they want, well, that's compatible with two explanations: either they are given everything they want and are subsequently spoiled, or they simply don't want all that much.

As a kid, I didn't get an allowance, and when I got money as gifts, I just saved it, because I'm just not wired to accumulate trinkets. It didn't mean that I didn't value the money. I just didn't particularly want anything small. (Bought a clarinet at 16 with babysitting money, though. That was worth it.)

Nissanzx1
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Nissanzx1 » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:52 pm

I was raised by people just like you. They are now nearly 70, retired multimillionaires.

I got out of college (their dime) and struggled with money/debts/credit. They never taught me to borrow but I had 3 Mercedes (on payments) and 11 credit cards and made $40,000/year. I always had a job since 14 but never made much. I was out of control. I only saved the minimum for 401K match. No Roths.

I behaved this was up until about 35. I have no idea why to this day I had to go through the pain of living like this to realize my folks had it right from the beginning. At 40, I'm finally getting my act together. My point is, some kids just have to experience the pain on their own...

staythecourse
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by staythecourse » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:34 am

randomguy wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:04 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm
texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.

Good luck.
Anyone with 2 kids will notice differences. Parental influence is only part of the equation. Peers, genetics and random life events factor in a ton in how kids turn out. I can assure you that I fed both kids the same foods and the fact that one eats broccoli and the other doesn't has nothing to do with parenting:)

To some extent you need to tailor the teaching to the kids as one size doesn't fit all. At some point the kid is likely to want to buy something and that might be your teachable moment.
Good advice. Trying to remember NOT to fit all feet into the same shoe is difficult to implement without the usual, "Why does he get to do that I didn't when I was his age".

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

quantAndHold
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by quantAndHold » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:49 am

Do they have anything to spend it on? If you’re already meeting all of their needs (toys, candy, etc), then they have no need for money.

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Soul.in.Progress
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Soul.in.Progress » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:51 am

RadAudit wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:59 pm
petrisunset wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 1:51 pm
None of them has any interest in money.

This will change.
+1

In my experience, they understand money much better in teen years because that’s when they have more needs for money. You might be pushing the “interest in money” cart uphill now, but in a few years you might be trying to stop the cart from rolling downhill too fast :D
Last edited by Soul.in.Progress on Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Start by doing what is necessary; | then do what is possible; | and suddenly you are doing the impossible. | -- Francis of Assisi

Rupert
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Rupert » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:52 am

staythecourse wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm
texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.

Good luck.
Yes, anyone who has twins will confirm this for you (as will the many twin studies out there). Kids are who they are the moment they are born, and there's actually very little you can do to change their fundamental nature.

goblue100
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by goblue100 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:08 am

Lots of good suggestions in the thread. I will be honest, our story with our daughter is similar to yours. We never had much luck with motivating her with an allowance. Probably mostly our fault, lack of follow through, etc.

Long story short, she is a pretty responsible 24 year old now. She is about to be married, and has a steady job and weighs what she spends in the amount of work she has to do to get the money she is thinking of spending.

I think your example of how you shop and value things will weigh as heavy on them as an allowance ever would.
Can't take it with you when you're gone | But I want enough to get there on - Rollin with the flow - Jerry Hayes

pspice78
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by pspice78 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:19 am

My oldest is 12 and has zero interest in money and also stuff. We follow a pretty minimalist lifestyle and emphasize experiences over things and I like to think that this is why but I'm likely totally wrong and this is just how she is. She has no interest in back to school clothes shopping or anything of that nature. When I ask what she wants for Christmas I get a blank stare and eventually an "I can't think of anything". She likes playing her trumpet and going to dance class and listening to music.

remomnyc
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by remomnyc » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:19 am

I started and stopped the allowances due to lack of interest. The kids could never come up with things they wanted for their birthdays or Christmas, so everyone gives them cash, which they save and invest. When they want something, they use their birthday/Christmas money throughout the year. They spend most of their money on video games and replacing replacing lost/broken phones, eyeglasses (one pair free/yr, then they pay), etc. The younger one keeps more cash in savings and is always loaning the older one money until his next birthday/Christmas because he blows through everything in his savings. The older one moves the bulk of his money into his investment account and keeps very little in savings because he knows he'll spend it on stupid stuff. Even though the older one has plenty in his investment account, he prefers to borrow from his brother than to tap his investment account. They'll be fine.

staythecourse
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by staythecourse » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:30 am

remomnyc wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:19 am
I started and stopped the allowances due to lack of interest. The kids could never come up with things they wanted for their birthdays or Christmas, so everyone gives them cash, which they save and invest. When they want something, they use their birthday/Christmas money throughout the year. They spend most of their money on video games and replacing replacing lost/broken phones, eyeglasses (one pair free/yr, then they pay), etc. The younger one keeps more cash in savings and is always loaning the older one money until his next birthday/Christmas because he blows through everything in his savings. The older one moves the bulk of his money into his investment account and keeps very little in savings because he knows he'll spend it on stupid stuff. Even though the older one has plenty in his investment account, he prefers to borrow from his brother than to tap his investment account. They'll be fine.
Does the younger charge an interest rate for the loan? Might be a good learning point.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

remomnyc
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by remomnyc » Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:18 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:30 am
Does the younger charge an interest rate for the loan? Might be a good learning point.

Good luck.
Yes. I found out he was charging a usurious(?) rate. I told him he could profit from but not rob his brother; otherwise, I would lend the money.

JackoC
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by JackoC » Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:03 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:08 pm
texasdiver wrote:
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:42 pm
She is endlessly broke and always needs more money. Same parents, totally different kids. What can you do?
Thanks for the example. I highlighted the above, because from all the observations I have seen there seems to be a HUGE variations in how kids turn out despite what type of "nurturing" environment they are placed in. I really am starting to believe there are large variables that are well beyond the usual parenting advice that determines how kids ultimately turn out. Stories like yours reinforces that thought process.

Is it possible humans are just hardwired different and can only be changed around the edges? My kids are totally different and I treat them the same so makes me think the parental influence does not insure any sort of final outcomes.
I don't know, having raised several now-grown children who seem to be doing fine. Assigned to a task (parenting or less important ones) it's only human nature I think to believe your own intentions and actions will determine the result. That mindset is at least conducive to trying your best. But it doesn't mean the outcome is actually entirely, or even much, under your control. If you're doing the basics, providing a stable home environment without major distractions (like your own relationship, substance etc problems shoved in your kids' faces) then that's good, and you should really try for that. But expecting an exact result for every little fine tune in your parenting (for example what exactly you 'teach' about money in words or via allowance) is doubtful IMO.

I didn't see anybody mention the possibility that in a higher cost area $5 is just too little for the kids to bother with. Although I honestly don't recall what if any allowance we gave our kids that young. I remember my parents once making a big deal about me losing a quarter (albeit that's close to 2 bucks CPI adjusted). I thought it was over the top then and still do. I'm sure their attitudes about money helped form mine, but not so much the extreme parts of it, sometimes hammed up in a very obvious way. Another eccentric thing was their insistence we were 'poor' when 90%-tile ish income (as I once accurately determined as a precocious kid in the age range mentioned, my dad was *really* ticked off). We've never done that about our considerably better financial position with our kids. We lived well below our means when they were growing up and still do, but we don't pretend tiny amounts of money are significant, or claim we're much worse off than we are. Reasonably smart kids see through that kind of thing anyway, IME.

staythecourse
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by staythecourse » Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:18 pm

JackoC wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 3:03 pm

I don't know, having raised several now-grown children who seem to be doing fine. Assigned to a task (parenting or less important ones) it's only human nature I think to believe your own intentions and actions will determine the result. That mindset is at least conducive to trying your best. But it doesn't mean the outcome is actually entirely, or even much, under your control. If you're doing the basics, providing a stable home environment without major distractions (like your own relationship, substance etc problems shoved in your kids' faces) then that's good, and you should really try for that. But expecting an exact result for every little fine tune in your parenting (for example what exactly you 'teach' about money in words or via allowance) is doubtful IMO.
Much thanks for the words of encouragement. Not sure if it is just confirmation bias, but what you say has been my experience. After providing a loving, supporting, and nurturing home life (which is EVERYONE in our social network) there are some x, y, z variables to their final outcome. Guess that is about as good as you can do to hopefully come out with a positive end result (kids who are emotionally, physically, and responsible young adults).

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

Zonian59
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Zonian59 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:09 pm

None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
Sounds like nice kids. OP doesn't say whether the allowance is tied to chores (or did I miss that?).

It was instilled into me early that if things aren't earned, then it doesn't have value. Maybe the reason the OP's kids aren't interested in money is because they aren't earning it. Maybe the kids also realize they can earn more money if they have to work for it, i.e, chores or part-time job. That would really teach them the value of money, the pride of work, earning the money and self sufficiency. Valuable lessons that should be earned early.

Teaching the kids to live below and within means and savings is also good, as well as eschewing extravagant clothes, toys, gifts, etc. But don't carry it to excess, i.e, being miserly.

Zonian59
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Zonian59 » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:09 pm

None of them has any interest in money. Each of them has a weekly allowance of $5. 99% of the time they do not ask for it, and even if my wife/I encourage them to take it they don’t.
Sounds like nice kids. OP doesn't say whether the allowance is tied to chores (or did I miss that?).

It was instilled into me early that if things aren't earned, then it doesn't have value. Maybe the reason the OP's kids aren't interested in money is because they aren't earning it. Maybe the kids also realize they can earn more money if they have to work for it, i.e, chores or part-time job. That would really teach them the value of money, the pride of work, earning the money and self sufficiency. Valuable lessons that should be earned early.

Teaching the kids to live below and within means and savings is also good, as well as eschewing extravagant clothes, toys, gifts, etc. But don't carry it to excess, i.e, being miserly.

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bottlecap
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by bottlecap » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:30 pm

Let them be kids. They are learning by seeing what you do with money. You may not see it, but it is sinking in.

JT

RetiredCSProf
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by RetiredCSProf » Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:02 am

My son was not interested in an allowance at that age, either -- it didn't matter whether I handed him the allowance or he had to "earn" it. So, I resorted to depositing his weekly allowance into his savings account, with no strings attached.

He's in college now, living at home, and gets an allowance -- which he spends mostly on private piano lessons and a gym membership. He likes not having to ask me for money every time he goes out to a movie or for pizza with friends. He really didn't "need" money when he was 8 or 11.

dekecarver
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by dekecarver » Wed Oct 17, 2018 5:09 am

Same here OP. Our 12 year old son's latest request is for a new gas leaf blower as the old electric one is getting long in the tooth and he has made the sales pitch. Go figure. I love it!

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Oak&Elm
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Oak&Elm » Wed Oct 17, 2018 7:33 am

When I was very young maybe 7 or 8 my Mom gave me a piggy bank, it was red with white lettering. It read; "He who will not save a penny shall never have many" That was over 50 years ago. You never really know what things will impact your kids, keep going OP, you're doing a good job.

Uniballer
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by Uniballer » Wed Oct 17, 2018 8:24 am

At around 11, I remember my parents telling me that I had $X in "allowance credit", and did I want to use it on a better guitar or the new bike I had asked for, with the implication that I could not have both. I chose the bike. Then Mom surprised me with an Epiphone guitar a week before my birthday. I realize that they were trying to teach me to make choices about money, but I'm not sure if it worked :) .

sco
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by sco » Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:42 pm

What are they to spend the money on? Sounds like they don't have any expenses, so they don't see the value in the allowance.

grokzilla
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Re: Kids not interested in money / allowance

Post by grokzilla » Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:14 pm

My oldest son was similar to your kids in that he was never terribly interested in money until high school, but did enjoy a few kid hobbies, trading cards, legos, etc. And, THAT was the key.

We essentially stopped buying those things he wanted for birthdays and holidays and rather ensured that through us or family he received enough money via gift cards or cash to make the purchases on his own. BUT, the most important part of the process was that whenever he spent money he was required to save an equal amount of money for himself in his bank account. So, if the new Lego kit cost $25, he had to come up with $50, depositing $25 into his savings before he could make that purchase. Was easy to monitor/manage since he couldn't get himself to the stores or bank!

Overall, was a pretty great success. He researched his purchases, saved money for the things he wanted learning some patience along the way and learned to start the actual savings process as part of his spending behavior. In his early 20s now and seems to have stuck.

Daughter on the other hand was always a bit more money focused but also much more naturally cautious and frugal. She hasn't needed as much "hand-holding."

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