How do you live your life?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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Taylor Larimore
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Taylor Larimore »

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

~Kipling
These words describe our mentor, Jack Bogle.

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle
Paul@
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Paul@ »

There is no wealth but life. ~John Ruskin

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau


With the above, you can calculate the price of just about anything.
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. | - Mary Chapin Carpenter
Die Hard
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Die Hard »

ahndrostalgan wrote:3. Don't try and keep up with Joneses. I got so busy that our family didn't have time to buy a bigger house and nicer cars when I began earning money to do so, and by the time we looked up, we realized we were doing fine as is. We also began to see how people will treat you differently once they know you have money, and decided "stealth wealth" was a prudent course.
Watch the movie The Joneses with Demi Moore and David Duchovny. I think it's still on Netflix. You will see where keeping up with the Joneses gets you! Very interesting story line.
The best way to teach your children about money is to not have any.............
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dwade1109
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dwade1109 »

Paul@ wrote:There is no wealth but life. ~John Ruskin

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau


With the above, you can calculate the price of just about anything.
By that calculation I would not go to work ever...

I guess I just have to figure it out myself. The search for meaning is not a new one in human history. I guess my biggest problem is making the calculation between doing the right thing and doing what makes me happy. I feel like most of my life I have sacrificed things that would make me happy to do the right thing for other people (namely family) and I worry that I am somehow starting to become bitter because I made the wrong choices. Doing the right thing should make one happy in of itself but I can't convince myself of its worth.
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LazyNihilist
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by LazyNihilist »

dwade1109 wrote:
By that calculation I would not go to work ever...

I guess I just have to figure it out myself. The search for meaning is not a new one in human history. I guess my biggest problem is making the calculation between doing the right thing and doing what makes me happy. I feel like most of my life I have sacrificed things that would make me happy to do the right thing for other people (namely family) and I worry that I am somehow starting to become bitter because I made the wrong choices. Doing the right thing should make one happy in of itself but I can't convince myself of its worth.

There is no "right" thing. All values are subjective. Do whatever makes you happy.
The strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must -Thucydides
lightheir
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by lightheir »

"Happiness" is way over-rated as viewed through the eyes of many.

The struggle and the journey to help first yourself but to soon help others, is a way bigger prize than 'happiness' for me. Happiness is a low priority on my life equation, actually. Not that I intentionally do things that make me unhappy, but if there's a much bigger gain, self discovery, or shared progress with others, I'll gladly sacrifice happiness for it.
Lollytiger
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Lollytiger »

Happiness is my main goal. Well, not really in the sense that you can't chase after happiness, and instead generally acquire it in the progress of doing other things; but I'd consider myself to be making a mistake if I sacrifice my happiness for some other acheivement (except, possibly the happiness of others).

My life these last few years seems to have consisted of delayed gratification for the sake of my future self. It's been going fine so far, but I think soon I'll want to quit this and enjoy my life now (part of that being to find a job which pays 50k+ while not requiring excessive work or responsibility). At least, by the time I hit 30 I will want to get such a job, and then try things like developing a social life. But for now, I'm making some sacrifices with the aim of building up my net worth and strengthening my attractiveness to employers.
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runthetrails
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by runthetrails »

VictoriaF wrote:An athlete's achievement is measured in gold medals...
There are a great many back-of-the-pack and mid-pack marathoners who would disagree that the only meaning to be had is in winning the medal.
travellight
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by travellight »

There are so many great responses, it is difficult to add anything more.

I would say that only you can define what is fulfilling to you... it may vary from someone like lightheir who seeks excellence in achievement to others who focus on family and relationships. They are not necessarily exclusive. I have been able to have both in my life, with great balance. I am successful and fulfilled in my line of work and I am the best parent I could possibly be. One disappointment in my life is the loss of some friendships as I have become disappointed with other people and their level of commitment to the relationship. I think Harold is right on in saying that many people don't know how to love and really do relationships.

I also live generally without three negative emotions that I find wasteful: guilt, regret, and worry. Guilt: I don't do anything I would feel guilty about later. Regret: ditto as guilt. Worry: I loved the saying "worry is like paying interest in advance on a loan that never comes due". I may feel stress at times of great challenge but I focus on problem solving, execute the solution, and am done with it. Worry is needless nonproductive energy.

What I do suffer from is disappointment and resentment when others perform badly. If someone can help me eliminate these, I would be in an even better place.

I am 50 and while I am happy with what I have accomplished thus far, I would like to think there is possibly much more in my future to achieve and contribute to improving situations for others in a way that aligns with my personal philosophies.
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Bounca
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Bounca »

I made plenty of money over recent years, but there have been many times where I would happily trade all of it for a more solid marriage and being closer to kids.
.

+1

One single bit advice to the younger ones viewing this. DON'T take your spouse for granted as you get older. Don't learn this the hard way.
Ashley
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Ashley »

I also live generally without three negative emotions that I find wasteful: guilt, regret, and worry. Guilt: I don't do anything I would feel guilty about later. Regret: ditto as guilt. Worry: I loved the saying "worry is like paying interest in advance on a loan that never comes due". I may feel stress at times of great challenge but I focus on problem solving, execute the solution, and am done with it. Worry is needless nonproductive energy.
If I could see the future, I would always say and do the right things and never have to feel guilty after the fact. I would always spend time with those whose time is short, buy stocks that only go up (and only when they've hit the bottom), and retire 20 years before my death to do all the things I don't have time to do right now so I never regret. If I never loved anyone or anything, then I would not have to worry at all.

Life would be easy, yet depressingly boring and empty. :wink:

Seriously though, I get what you're saying. I'm just providing a counterpoint. What you're saying is easier written than done.
epilnk
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by epilnk »

Ashley wrote:
I also live generally without three negative emotions that I find wasteful: guilt, regret, and worry. Guilt: I don't do anything I would feel guilty about later. Regret: ditto as guilt. Worry: I loved the saying "worry is like paying interest in advance on a loan that never comes due". I may feel stress at times of great challenge but I focus on problem solving, execute the solution, and am done with it. Worry is needless nonproductive energy.
If I could see the future, I would always say and do the right things and never have to feel guilty after the fact. I would always spend time with those whose time is short, buy stocks that only go up (and only when they've hit the bottom), and retire 20 years before my death to do all the things I don't have time to do right now so I never regret. If I never loved anyone or anything, then I would not have to worry at all.

Life would be easy, yet depressingly boring and empty. :wink:

Seriously though, I get what you're saying. I'm just providing a counterpoint. What you're saying is easier written than done.
Well, guilt is easier to avoid than regret. I often screw things up and regret my actions after the fact, but as long as I act sincerely with good intent I find there is little to feel guilty about.

But I absolutely agree about the worry - I've never heard that saying before, but I love it. I know for a fact that things will get worse for my 10 year old, the light of my life, who has a degenerative condition. I have learned to accept this rather than to worry about it ahead of time. The other day he and I were filling out a backgrounder form for the pain clinic:

"OK, next question. Patient's quality of life? Scale of one to ten."
"Ten."
"Ten? Really?"
"Yeah, ten. We have a really good life."
"You wouldn't take a point off for the pain or all the medical problems?"
"Well, OK. Maybe. Yeah. OK. Intense pain hurts! That's worth one point. OK then, nine. Mostly it's a ten, though."

Attitude is everything. He has every right to be frustrated, upset, and indulge in occasional bouts of self pity. But he doesn't. He sincerely believes that even with all of his challenges, everything is great. It's a little humbling. His attitude IS his quality of life.
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Barry Barnitz
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Barry Barnitz »

William Butler Yeats : A Prayer for My Daughter
Once more the storm is howling, and half hid
Under this cradle-hood and coverlid
My child sleeps on. There is no obstacle
But Gregory's wood and one bare hill
Whereby the haystack- and roof-levelling wind
Bred on the Atlantic, can be stayed;
And for an hour I have walked and prayed
Because of the great gloom that is in my mind.
I have walked and prayed for this young child an hour
And heard the sea-wind scream upon the tower,
And-under the arches of the bridge, and scream
In the elms above the flooded stream;
Imagining in excited reverie
That the future years had come,
Dancing to a frenzied drum,
Out of the murderous innocence of the sea.
May she be granted beauty and yet not
Beauty to make a stranger's eye distraught,
Or hers before a looking-glass, for such,
Being made beautiful overmuch,
Consider beauty a sufficient end,
Lose natural kindness and maybe
The heart-revealing intimacy
That chooses right, and never find a friend.
Helen being chosen found life flat and dull
And later had much trouble from a fool,
While that great Queen, that rose out of the spray,
Being fatherless could have her way
Yet chose a bandy-legged smith for man.
It's certain that fine women eat
A crazy salad with their meat
Whereby the Horn of plenty is undone.
In courtesy I'd have her chiefly learned;
Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned
By those that are not entirely beautiful;
Yet many, that have played the fool
For beauty's very self, has charm made wise.
And many a poor man that has roved,
Loved and thought himself beloved,
From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.
regards,
Additional administrative tasks: Financial Page bogleheads.org. blog; finiki the Canadian wiki; The Bogle Center for Financial Literacy site; La Guía Bogleheads® España site.
travellight
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by travellight »

re guilt, I practice with good intention and succeed most of the time. For the few times, things don't turn out as I had hoped, I don't beat myself up about it (i.e. guilt) because my intentions were good.

I think I just interpret regret differently. Certainly, I regret buying that china.com stock for 2K that evaporated to nothing. I mean that I don't regret things I did that were willfully wrong. My interpretation of this is probably too close to guilt.

worry.... yes, I have treasures in my life like my son that I could worry about. But I don't, or I try not to. I just keep a positive attitude and hope for the best just because the worry is wasteful and not productive. If it made him safer, I would definite indulge in it.
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Dandy »

I never had the talent or opportunity to make a substantial mark on the world like Steve Jobs or someone who finds a cure etc. If you have that gift it must be a problem to find a life balance. If you don't have that gift or opportunity then the choice is loved ones or more money. That can also be difficult. I had a good job but there were times where I didn't get to see much of my family for a couple of years. I didn't have the choice of saying
"hey can I work just 45 hours and get 80% of my pay?" The position called for more like 60 hours a week.

Luckily that was only for a few years and I was able to spend most of my working life getting the job done and spending lots of time with my family. For me work was a place to make a living and hopefully have some fun and make a contribution. Family is why I worked it was always my focus and I never regretted not earning more money. Of course I had to save and live below my means.
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Omo »

Dwade

Have a read of this post from a few years ago..it will add further perspective:

http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtop ... =2&t=18011

Raj -- did you ever buy that flat screen TV?
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Fallible »

I was in college in the '60s when I first read Aristotle's famous quote: “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” I thought then that this was overstating the importance and significance of happiness. Now that I understand life much, much better, I truly believe that it really is all about finding happiness, in all its many forms.
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Dagwood »

dwade1109 wrote: What say you? Should one really live each day as his or her last? Can one do that and be great?
I say two things and ask a question:

1. Self help books are a dead end.
2. The financial acumen of this forum is very impressive -- there is not a better place to get advice on money-related matters. But coming here to find out how you should live your life may not be the best approach as it assumes a certain hierarchy of priorities that might be neither wise nor warranted.

What do you believe in?

Best regards.
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by lightheir »

Fallible wrote:I was in college in the '60s when I first read Aristotle's famous quote: “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” I thought then that this was overstating the importance and significance of happiness. Now that I understand life much, much better, I truly believe that it really is all about finding happiness, in all its many forms.
Unfortunately, that definition of happiness is continually elusive. Mother Teresa works in the poorest slums in the world, yet is serenely happy in conditions that few of us would find offer us any remote chance of happiness. Similarly, I find great meaning in activities that a lot of people would consider degrees of suffering of which they should avoid at all costs.

As such, I don't find the term 'happiness' all that useful.
BenBritt
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by BenBritt »

I believe I should glorify God in all I do. Sadly I fall woefully short too many times in this endeavor.
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Fletch
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Fletch »

Very interesting topic and responses. Here is my perspective of "how to live life" using Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" as a framework; first I'll summarize the Habit, then state what it means to me:

1. Be proactive - Take responsibility for my gift of earthly life, do not wait for events to just "happen" whether the very meaningful (love God, love neighbor, understand the gift of the Gospel, be satisfied with the blessings I have, realize where they come from and do not covet what others have) or the more mundane (e.g. when to buy a new vehicle, how best to utilize money, how to eat healthful food, what movie to see).

2. Begin with the end in mind - Long term goal is eternal life in the Christian sense, and to have contributed more than I took from the world and its inhabitants while I was chosen to be on this earth.

3. First things first - Prioritize; for me that is God, Family, Friends, work and now retirement activities.

4. Think win-win - Figure out how to have those I interact with and me gain from the interaction so that both of our needs are met.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood - Practice and use my listening/reading and body language reading skills when interacting with others (especially my family and friends) to be sure that I understand their needs and whether or not they want solutions or advice before offering it.

6. Synergize - Think about how I can provide or gain multiple benefits from my actions and interactions. This can be as complex as a long-term business or retirement plan, or as simple as planning a shopping trip to visit several stores in the most fuel efficient way.

7. Sharpen the saw (spiritual, mental, emotional, physical) - Learn something new each day, try to keep my body sufficiently healthy and fit, strengthen relationships, try to get better at Habits 1 through 6.

... Fletch
Last edited by Fletch on Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.
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dwade1109
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dwade1109 »

Dagwood wrote:
dwade1109 wrote: What say you? Should one really live each day as his or her last? Can one do that and be great?
I say two things and ask a question:

1. Self help books are a dead end.
2. The financial acumen of this forum is very impressive -- there is not a better place to get advice on money-related matters. But coming here to find out how you should live your life may not be the best approach as it assumes a certain hierarchy of priorities that might be neither wise nor warranted.

What do you believe in?

Best regards.
Self help books briefly inspire me but leave me feeling worse about myself in th eend

I am not sure anymore what I believe in. I feel like when up till college I had a very firm idea of what I believed in (caring for my family members) and while I have stuck to that recently I have become disillusioned by the poor behavior of some of my role models in the family. I have learned that having heroes too close to you is a bad thing because eventually all of the chinks in the armors end up looking like giant holes.
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dwade1109
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dwade1109 »

Nearly a year later and still an amazing thread :sharebeer

Still as confused as ever haha :?:
Itster
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Itster »

This thread is a great encouragement and reinforcement that Bogle investing is the way to go. Many of you are successfully investing, yet you believe "money" itself is not the end-all, be-all. The greedy Wall St/trader mindset is more suited for those where money is the highest priority in life, but with severely heightened risks and costs. Not to hijack the thread, but I appreciated the replies.
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steadyeddy
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by steadyeddy »

There is a narrative woven throughout the children's book, The Little Prince, that emphasizes the circular relationship between effort and meaning. We work for the things we find meaningful, and we find meaning in the things we work for. A person might grow a tree through years of painstaking effort tilling, planting, watering, staking, pruning--each day watching the tree with concern. In twenty years, that person will have an affection for that tree that any of the rest of us who pass by trees each day will never feel or understand.

At one point in the book, the little prince nearly dies while walking a long distance across the desert in search of water. When he finds it, he feels it is the best water he's ever tasted. My rambling point is that you don't have to be a nihilist in the strong sense of the word to make your own meaning by choosing to do what you love and love what you do. Often you might find that you especially love the result of a painful journey--anyone here a parent?

http://www.amazon.com/The-Little-Prince ... 0156012197
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dwade1109
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dwade1109 »

Well said. That's an amazing book.
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nisiprius
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by nisiprius »

One of my favorite passages in The Little Prince is:

“If you were to say to the grown-ups: I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof," they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them, 'I saw a house that cost $20,000.' Then they would exclaim, 'Oh, what a pretty house that is!'"

I also like the businessman who is concerned with matters of consequence and "owns" the stars is great, and I love the king who answers the Little Prince's request for a sunset by consulting an almanac, and says "At 6:17 p.m. I shall order the sun to set, and you will see how well I am obeyed."
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
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VictoriaF
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by VictoriaF »

Dagwood wrote:2. The financial acumen of this forum is very impressive -- there is not a better place to get advice on money-related matters. But coming here to find out how you should live your life may not be the best approach as it assumes a certain hierarchy of priorities that might be neither wise nor warranted.

What do you believe in?
This Forum has attracted a number of highly intelligent and thoughtful people. When dwade1109 is musing on how to live his life, he is not looking for a financial advice. He is interested in the experiences and life philosophy of people whose opinions he respects.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
steve_14
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by steve_14 »

Fletch wrote:Very interesting topic and responses. Here is my perspective of "how to live life" using Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" as a framework; first I'll summarize the Habit, then state what it means to me:

1. Be proactive - Take responsibility for my gift of earthly life, do not wait for events to just "happen" whether the very meaningful (love God, love neighbor, understand the gift of the Gospel, be satisfied with the blessings I have, realize where they come from and do not covet what others have) or the more mundane (e.g. when to buy a new vehicle, how best to utilize money, how to eat healthful food, what movie to see).

2. Begin with the end in mind - Long term goal is eternal life in the Christian sense, and to have contributed more than I took from the world and its inhabitants while I was chosen to be on this earth.

3. First things first - Prioritize; for me that is God, Family, Friends, work and now retirement activities.

4. Think win-win - Figure out how to have those I interact with and me gain from the interaction so that both of our needs are met.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood - Practice and use my listening/reading and body language reading skills when interacting with others (especially my family and friends) to be sure that I understand their needs and whether or not they want solutions or advice before offering it.

6. Synergize - Think about how I can provide or gain multiple benefits from my actions and interactions. This can be as complex as a long-term business or retirement plan, or as simple as planning a shopping trip to visit several stores in the most fuel efficient way.

7. Sharpen the saw (spiritual, mental, emotional, physical) - Learn something new each day, try to keep my body sufficiently healthy and fit, strengthen relationships, try to get better at Habits 1 through 6.

... Fletch
To be clear, none of Steven Covey's Seven Habits had anything to do with organized religion.

The actual habits can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_ ... ive_People .
lightheir
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by lightheir »

market timer wrote:I'll make an analogy to chess. When playing against an evenly-matched opponent, if I try to create an advantage out of nothing, I'll usually blunder or miss my opponent's plans. If instead I react to my opponent, try to understand his intention, wait for a slight opportunity, then capitalize on that weakness, I'll win. So it has been in life. When I try to create something out of nothing, as exemplified by Mortgage Your Retirement, I blunder away my advantage. When I wait for opportunity, stay liquid, listen to what I need to provide, and execute, then success comes easily.
Off topic here, but as a fairly serious chess player, neither of those strategies are recommended for winning in chess.

The best chess strategy is to play the board objectively. No fear, no unnecessary aggression, but clear, cold calculating small accumulation of advantages and ruthless execution of winning chances the moment they arise.

I could make a ton of analogies to chess is life, but I'm being 100% dead honest that the more you learn about chess and the better you get at it (and I'm not even that good by true competitive standards), the farther it is from having anything to do whatsoever with life.

I do agree with the play the board analogy though - if you want to succeed in solving most of life's problems, it's important to be able to extract the noise from the truth, whether that means pulling away the emotion, prejudices, and false beliefs that are influencing your decision. Doesn't help all that much with how you ultimately live your life though.
jonmmonson
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by jonmmonson »

Time is your only limited asset. You can always make more money or more friends, but you cannot add more time to your life. If you accept this simple fact, then establishing priorities is easy:

1. Don't let anyone (except your family) control your schedule.
2. Don't spend time doing anything you don't like (hire someone to do that).
3. Time is more important than things (go past a graveyard and try to determine who was rich or poor).
4. Don't fret over things you cannot control (like who is president).
5. Know your number, so when you have enough money either work for yourself (if you love work) or stop working (if you don't like working).
DeGrief
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by DeGrief »

A rich array of responses here. The OP mentioned Steve Jobs, and I think there is a danger that such examples can lead most of us astray. One of the questions that guides me as I try to set priorities is this one:

What is the most important thing that I will do in my life?

By "importance" here I mean objective importance--from the point of view of the universe--not just importance to me.

For those among us with the most extraordinary talents--Steve Jobs, John Bogle!, Wynton Marsalis, Lebron James, Nobel Prize winners, etc.--it is their work that represents their most profound contribution. One simply could not say, I think, that Steve Jobs would have made a more important contribution to the world by spending more time with his children. That may (or may not) have made his own life subjectively more satisfying. It likely would have meant a great deal to his children. But objectively, his most important contribution lay in his work.

But for the rest of us, with our far more modest talents, it is likely that our most important contribution lies elsewhere. I am not Steve Jobs. I will never change the world through my work. I will never win a Nobel Prize. For me, with my modest talents, the most important thing I will ever do in my life is be a great father to my kids (now that I have chosen to have them).

My point is that, in seeking a balance between work and private life, an important thing to do is try to objectively assess your own talents. If you think you might be Steve Jobs, or Paul Gauguin, with the talent to change the world in some profound way, then devoting yourself first and foremost to your work is an entirely reasonable thing to do. But for the rest of us, there is danger in following their lead.
dans
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dans »

Long time lurker, but this post convinced me to register :)

One of the very best things I have ever read on this was by a Harvard business school professor, Clayton Christensen, entitled how will you measure your life?:
http://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-mea ... -life/ar/1

He worked with one of his students to turn it into a book - which dug into exactly this topic in a lot of depth:
http://www.measureyourlife.com
lrobb
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by lrobb »

My advice comes from the philosophical school known as Backyardiganism....

"the more we have adventures, the happier we'll be!"
Firewood42
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Firewood42 »

dwade1109 wrote:As a younger member of this community I get the privilege of partaking in the financial wisdom of the more 'mature' :mrgreen: bogleheads.

It would be a great to get the experienced insight of those same people on life in general.

Specifically, how do you decide what is important in your life? I see attendings 20-30 years older than me working their tails off, attending meetings, pioneering their fields but never at home with their families, who seem to give them the most joy. Are they going to regret that?

I am not the most articulate, but I guess what I am getting at is what has your life experience shown regarding what is truly important. Is it leaving a legacy in terms of your work or charity? Is it creating memories with the ones you love? Some days I feel like I need to invest so much to be great at what I do but then as days go by and time keeps going I start wondering whether I am chasing something at the expense of things I would remember more foly in 30 or 40 years.

What say you? Should one really live each day as his or her last? Can one do that and be great?
We are an older couple at and approaching 70 and I can tell you how we lived our life.

One of the first things is strong morals and ethics and especially a strong work ethic.

By living this way, we have maintained a happy 48 year marriage and have raised three successful children. We have maintained a strong family relationship with our children and grandchildren. We are not rich but well off enough to enjoy our retirement.

The second most important thing in life is to be active and stay active.

We never turn down babysitting our grandchildren. Nothing keeps an old couple active then chasing after a four and two year old for a few days while their parents are away. We really enjoy this but also are happy when the parents return.

To stay active have a hobby that requires physical exercise. It doesn't have to be intense. Our choice is golf. My wife and I have played golf since our early 40's. I notice people like our older friends that play golf are much more healthy then average people in their 70's and even 80's. Our friends try to walk nine holes everyday.

We also raise a huge garden and can and freeze as much food as possible. This keeps us very active. Not a day goes by in the summer when we are not planting, weeding and harvesting our crop of fresh vegetables.

I found when we retired why old people go south for the winter. January and February are brutal in Ohio. Two months of inactivity can really take a toll on your health. So we spend those months in South Texas on a golf course and walk nine holes everyday. We met a lot of people just like us who are in long term marriages, had their own businesses and despite their ages are in good health.

By living this way we are still in good health with none of the problems of heart conditons, diabetes etc. that other old couples we know are facing. It can happen to us but so far so good.
Last edited by Firewood42 on Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
PacNorWest
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by PacNorWest »

LazyNihilist wrote:
Walt in AZ wrote:Reading this book might be helpful.

"A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy "
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-A ... 457&sr=1-1

I haven't read a book in years :oops: . I blame you for suggesting this book, now that I have ordered it on Amazon. :lol:
I hope that you ordered it through the link at the top of this forum page. . .
:thumbsup
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stemikger
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by stemikger »

Forgive me I didn't read all the replies, but my life was never defined by the trips I took or the things I owned. My life is defined by doing the right things by myself, society and mostly my family.

I never cared about saving first and enjoying the money second because saving my money adds value to my life and actually more pleasure because I am living with a goal and being responsible for those I will one day leave behind.

Now don't get me wrong, I do take breaks and vacations, but only if I can pay for them and do it the right way.

I also do something every day that brings pleasure and joy to my life. I take walks and spend time with my family. That is the ultimate pleasure that compares to nothing else in this world.
Choose Simplicity ~ Stay the Course!! ~ Press on Regardless!!!
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aja8888
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by aja8888 »

Firewood42 wrote:
dwade1109 wrote: What say you? Should one really live each day as his or her last? Can one do that and be great?
We are an older couple at and approaching 70 and I can tell you how we lived our life.

One of the first things is strong morals and ethics and especially a strong work ethic.

By living this way, we have maintained a happy 48 year marriage and have raised three successful children. We have maintained a strong family relationship with our children and grandchildren. We are not rich but well off enough to enjoy our retirement.

The second most important thing in life is to be active and stay active.

We never turn down babysitting our grandchildren. Nothing keeps an old couple active then chasing after a four and two year old for a few days while their parents are away. We really enjoy this but also are happy when the parents return.

To stay active have a hobby that requires physical exercise. It doesn't have to be intense. Our choice is golf. My wife and I have played golf since our early 40's. I notice people like our older friends that play golf are much more healthy then average people in their 70's and even 80's. Our friends try to walk nine holes everyday.

We also raise a huge garden and can and freeze as much food as possible. This keeps us very active. Not a day goes by in the summer when we are not planting, weeding and harvesting our crop of fresh vegetables.

I found when we retired why old people go south for the winter. January and February are brutal in Ohio. Two months of inactivity can really take a toll on your health. So we spend those months in South Texas on a golf course and walk nine holes everyday. We met a lot of people just like us who are in long term marriages, had their own businesses and despite their ages are in good health.

By living this way we are still in good health with none of the problems of heart conditons, diabetes etc. that other old couples we know are facing. It can happen to us but so far so good.
Good plan, Firewood42, it's one we are pursuing also. Staying active is the key here. :wink:
Mariaraluca
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by Mariaraluca »

It's hard for me to tell whether work or family time makes one happier since I do not have a family of my own. I did however have the experience of finding something I love to do and all I can tell you is that once you find that one thing you love to do it just feels so right. It doesn't feel like work at all, which is why you spend so much time on it, and it fits like glove. It tends to be the case that you are also good at it and doing something well is happiness itself. I would argue that finding 'your thing' in work will also make you a better wife, husband, parent. Also chances are your partner also apreciated that identity in you and is one of the aspects they fell in love with. There shouldn't be such thing as work life balance, because there is no such thing as work. There is only life.
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dwade1109
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by dwade1109 »

It sounds like a for a lot of the "more experienced" contributors that finding a good partner was a large part of happiness, more than :moneybag or work or anything else really, even kids.
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VictoriaF
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by VictoriaF »

dwade1109 wrote:It sounds like a for a lot of the "more experienced" contributors that finding a good partner was a large part of happiness, more than :moneybag or work or anything else really, even kids.
Perhaps. Perhaps. We need a poll on how many Bogleheads are or have been divorced.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
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NAVigator
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by NAVigator »

VictoriaF wrote:We need a poll on how many Bogleheads are or have been divorced.
But remember, posts to the forum must be financial in nature. ...oh, never mind... :oops:

Jerry
"I was born with nothing and I have most of it left."
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aja8888
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by aja8888 »

NAVigator wrote:
VictoriaF wrote:We need a poll on how many Bogleheads are or have been divorced.
But remember, posts to the forum must be financial in nature. ...oh, never mind... :oops:

Jerry
Generally, when a couple decide to divorce, the resulting actions become financial in nature (among other issues, of course).
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VictoriaF
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by VictoriaF »

aja8888 wrote:
NAVigator wrote:
VictoriaF wrote:We need a poll on how many Bogleheads are or have been divorced.
But remember, posts to the forum must be financial in nature. ...oh, never mind... :oops:

Jerry
Generally, when a couple decide to divorce, the resulting actions become financial in nature (among other issues, of course).
OK, I have started a poll. Hopefully there will be financial context in responses to let is survive.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
p14175
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Re: How do you live your life?

Post by p14175 »

I make way too many mistakes so I try to learn from them and move on.
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