Is it OK to wear a black shirt to a wedding?

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Triple digit golfer
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Is it OK to wear a black shirt to a wedding?

Post by Triple digit golfer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:59 am

I'm going to a wedding tonight and I have two questions:

1. Is it acceptable to wear a black shirt?
2. Is it acceptable to not wear a tie?

I'd like to wear a black shirt, no tie, no jacket. But I don't know how this would go over...

Thanks for any opinions.

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poisonivvy
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Post by poisonivvy » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:01 am

Where's the wedding located (church? outdoors? park?)?

If outdoors, you may want to reconsider black if there will be sun.

How are the bride and groom (high maintenance? laid back?)?

All the weddings that DH and I have gone to are mellow affairs and didn't have any dress code. He wore dockers and a nice shirt without a tie (even for our own wedding last year!).

If it's formal and a sit down nice dinner (check the menu), you probably should wear the tie.

kenbrumy
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Post by kenbrumy » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:02 am

I suspect that if you feel you have to ask it isn't acceptable.

Triple digit golfer
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Post by Triple digit golfer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:05 am

I'm actually not going to the church part, just the reception. It's at a regular old banquet hall.

Bride and groom are pretty laid back.

It's a buffet style dinner. I don't expect it to be anything too fancy.

However, I don't want to be the idiot there who stands out...so just seeking some opinions. I haven't been to a wedding in over two years!

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:05 am

It is acceptable if you expect the bride to die during the ceremony, or if the groom is Johnny Cash. Otherwise no.

SP-diceman
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Post by SP-diceman » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:07 am

In todays world, Id say just being dressed is ok.

Ive seen many black shirts and many "no ties".



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SP-diceman
Last edited by SP-diceman on Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Gekko
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Post by Gekko » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:08 am

IMO -

suck it up and wear a jacket and tie. do you really want people asking - "who's the d-bag in the black shirt?" and you never know who you'll meet.

and go to the ceremony too. and cut a check for $100.

good luck.

SteveB3005
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Post by SteveB3005 » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:14 am

If it's one of the Gambino's or Corleone's it would be good, maybe a red tie also.

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Judsen
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Post by Judsen » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:14 am

There is an old proverb that: "The nail that sticks his head up gets hammered down."
The wedding is for the BRIDE and Groom. Don't distract.
BTW, my youngest son took his pet king snake to his sister's wedding.
Jud
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Wagnerjb
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Post by Wagnerjb » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:17 am

Bob's not my name wrote:It is acceptable if you expect the bride to die during the ceremony, or if the groom is Johnny Cash. Otherwise no.
Well said.
Andy

livesoft
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Post by livesoft » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:18 am

I attended a wedding in August. The groom's father wore a black shirt, no tie and a black cowboy hat.

The Wizard
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Post by The Wizard » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:20 am

No black shirt for the wedding festivities, to be on safe side.
There will be other times and places where it will fit in better...

fishndoc
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Post by fishndoc » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:22 am

Bob's not my name wrote:It is acceptable if you expect the bride to die during the ceremony, or if the groom is Johnny Cash. Otherwise no.
You've obviously never been to an Alabama wedding with a "Dale Earnhardt" theme.
:)
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Ron
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Post by Ron » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:25 am

The groom is probably in mourning for loss of his freedom (sort of like somone dying :lol: ).

Heck, I would wear it, to support the groom.

Anyway, isn't it supposed to be the "brides day", and she is the center of the attention (not you)?

Don't worry about it. Nobody will remember what you wore the day after.

- Ron

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Post by livesoft » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:29 am

There will be photos taken at the reception. Those photos will be around for awhile, so folks will remember what you wore especially if it stands out. I just looked at the photos of the wedding I just mentioned (I was one of the photographers), only the groom's father wore a black shirt.

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Post by richard » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:38 am

Do you own a shirt that does not require asking if it's acceptable? If so, is there any reason you can't wear that shirt? Are most other guys likely to wear jackets and ties? If so, is there any reason you can't?

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:40 am

Also, I recommend pants.

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VictoriaF
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Post by VictoriaF » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:49 am

Bring a $10,000 check and wear what you want. ;)

Victoria
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dbonnett
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Post by dbonnett » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:53 am

Depends on your age. Young people can get away with almost anything. And too, it's not the church.
You might ask the bride. Then listen very carefully. It is HER day. Don't detract from it.

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:53 am

VictoriaF wrote:Bring a $10,000 check and wear what you want. ;)

Victoria
And give the $10,000 check to the photographer and ask him to leave you out of every shot.

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:59 am

Ron wrote:The groom is probably in mourning for loss of his freedom (sort of like somone dying :lol: ). Heck, I would wear it, to support the groom.

Anyway, isn't it supposed to be the "brides day", and she is the center of the attention (not you)?
dbonnett wrote:You might ask the bride. Then listen very carefully. It is HER day.
21st century dress code, 19th century thinking.

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VictoriaF
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Post by VictoriaF » Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:00 am

Bob's not my name wrote:
Ron wrote:The groom is probably in mourning for loss of his freedom (sort of like somone dying :lol: ). Heck, I would wear it, to support the groom.

Anyway, isn't it supposed to be the "brides day", and she is the center of the attention (not you)?
dbonnett wrote:You might ask the bride. Then listen very carefully. It is HER day.
21st century dress code, 19th century thinking.
Right. The bride can be HE.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

Ron
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Post by Ron » Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:22 am

Bob's not my name wrote:21st century dress code, 19th century thinking.
Yes; it's good to be old :lol: ...

Or you could just do this:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vi ... 602_263622

- Ron

ThatGuy
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Post by ThatGuy » Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:38 am

fishndoc wrote:
Bob's not my name wrote:It is acceptable if you expect the bride to die during the ceremony, or if the groom is Johnny Cash. Otherwise no.
You've obviously never been to an Alabama wedding with a "Dale Earnhardt" theme.
:)
I've been invited at the last second by people I've just met to a couple "rural" weddings now. I've been surprised how many baseball caps and shorts there were. I felt out of place in a standard business suit.
Work is the curse of the drinking class - Oscar Wilde

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NAVigator
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Post by NAVigator » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:36 am

You've been invited to attend a wedding of friends and you are not going. Instead you are going to the reception where you get a free meal. Now you are asking if you can "dress down" for the reception because you don't want to "stand out". It seems it is all about you and not them. Don't spoil their day - stay home.

Jerry
"I was born with nothing and I have most of it left."

Triple digit golfer
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Post by Triple digit golfer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:36 am

That's why I like this forum. You people are brutally honest.

OK, I'm gonna skip the black and instead wear either a maroon, yellow, or rust/orange shirt WITH a tie. And they're getting a damn nice check from me, too.

Harold
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Post by Harold » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:39 am

As long as the black shirt says something like "Led Zeppelin US Tour 1977", it'll be perfect!

(Never mind, I see you're skipping the black shirt idea -- your/their loss ...)
Last edited by Harold on Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:40 am

Triple digit golfer wrote:a maroon, yellow, or rust/orange shirt WITH a tie.
Never mind. Black is fine.

Triple digit golfer
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Post by Triple digit golfer » Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:46 am

Bob's not my name wrote:
Triple digit golfer wrote:a maroon, yellow, or rust/orange shirt WITH a tie.
Never mind. Black is fine.
Oh lookie here, we got a comedian!

:D

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TxAg
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Post by TxAg » Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:46 pm

You might consider a jacket but not tie. If everyone else is dressed up then at least you have the jacket. If not, ditch the jacket and you'll just be wearing a nice shirt.

Plus, at a young age you should be out there dancing, having a good time. Most of the time we lose our jackets and ties once the music starts.

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Post by magicmom » Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:46 pm

OMG! You guys are so funny!

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Post by SP-diceman » Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:17 pm

Harold wrote:As long as the black shirt says something like "Led Zeppelin US Tour 1977", it'll be perfect!

(Never mind, I see you're skipping the black shirt idea -- your/their loss ...)

AC/DC (heh, heh)

What would heavy metal do without black?



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SP-dceman

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Opponent Process
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Post by Opponent Process » Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:29 pm

Triple digit golfer wrote:And they're getting a damn nice check from me, too.
I get invited to weddings because I show up in jeans and sandals, and pass the savings along to the couple.
30/30/20/20 | US/International/Bonds/TIPS | Average Age=37

tim1999
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Post by tim1999 » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:14 pm

I usually wear a suit and tie, especially at "fancier" weddings. However, last night I went to a "fire hall" wedding reception wearing a suit and button down shirt, but no tie. I was still borderline overdressed. Most of the guys were wearing just button down shirts and slacks, with the occasional tie thrown in.

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celia
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Post by celia » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:28 pm

If you want to wear black, how about black shoes.

...and dark/black socks

Paladin

Post by Paladin » Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:09 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
Bob's not my name wrote:
Ron wrote:The groom is probably in mourning for loss of his freedom (sort of like somone dying :lol: ). Heck, I would wear it, to support the groom.

Anyway, isn't it supposed to be the "brides day", and she is the center of the attention (not you)?
dbonnett wrote:You might ask the bride. Then listen very carefully. It is HER day.
21st century dress code, 19th century thinking.
Right. The bride can be HE.

Victoria

–noun
a newly married woman or a woman about to be married.

dixdak
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Post by dixdak » Sun Sep 05, 2010 11:38 am

I don't want to look like a freak, gimme the muumuu!

Not unless you top 375 is it ok. Seriously, my cousin is an MD, and my most lasting memory of him was when he attended my brothers wedding in bib overalls in 1976. Very disrespectful.

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wbond
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Post by wbond » Sun Sep 05, 2010 12:18 pm

Triple digit golfer wrote:
Bob's not my name wrote:
Triple digit golfer wrote:a maroon, yellow, or rust/orange shirt WITH a tie.
Never mind. Black is fine.
Oh lookie here, we got a comedian!

:D
With apologies for any impression of undue flattery, there are many comedians here, but the comment by "Bob what's his name" in this thread is the funniest I've ever read on Bogleheads. It's his second comment, the 12th down (if I counted correctly).

Please take your time to type the reference into Wikipedia, it will be worth your while.

Unless "bob" is also B.J. Dewey - in which case I've been had.

(I realize that I made the same comment in that thread, so I will now cease and desist).

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TJAJ9
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Post by TJAJ9 » Mon Sep 06, 2010 1:01 am

Wear what you want as long as it's not shorts with a t-shirt, baseball hat and sneakers. :beer

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ryuns
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Post by ryuns » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:19 pm

dixdak wrote:I don't want to look like a freak, gimme the muumuu!
Look, dixdak, if you leave the forum, we'll be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn. :wink:
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. -- GK Chesterton

Ziggy75
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Post by Ziggy75 » Tue Sep 07, 2010 8:32 am

A wedding is a good place to meet single women.

Didn't you post earlier about an internet dating service?

Dressing well helps attract the opposite sex.

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SamGamgee
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Post by SamGamgee » Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:07 am

the truth: if you're in the top 20% of the people in attendence BY LOOKS, you can get away with anything. Otherwise try to blend in with a normal suit.

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SSSS
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Post by SSSS » Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:58 pm

Opponent Process wrote:I get invited to weddings because I show up in jeans and sandals, and pass the savings along to the couple.
You can get jackets for $18 at Wal-Mart that should hold together for 3-4 weddings as long as you don't get them dirty or wet.

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Re: Is it OK to wear a black shirt to a wedding?

Post by Dagwood » Tue Sep 07, 2010 2:57 pm

Triple digit golfer wrote:I'm going to a wedding tonight and I have two questions:

1. Is it acceptable to wear a black shirt?
No. You'd look like a turd.
Triple digit golfer wrote: 2. Is it acceptable to not wear a tie?
Maybe, depending on the wedding. If you insist on no tie, I would wear a jacket and finished trousers, no khakis or jeans. But the tie is safer.

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Post by SP-diceman » Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:20 pm

Ziggy75 wrote:A wedding is a good place to meet single women.
Dressing well helps attract the opposite sex.
Of course, you dont have to dress well if you just tell them
your a Boglehead.



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SP-diceman

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XtremeSki2001
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Post by XtremeSki2001 » Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:35 pm

I'd say no to a black shirt and no to going tie-less - regardless of setting.
Triple digit golfer wrote:That's why I like this forum. You people are brutally honest.

OK, I'm gonna skip the black and instead wear either a maroon, yellow, or rust/orange shirt WITH a tie. And they're getting a damn nice check from me, too.
You were also the same person that started the online dating thread, correct? I would most certainly make sure your wardrobe is up to date before going on any dates :D Granted I'm from the city - not sure where you're from.

Most weddings you should tone it down ... black suit, black shoes, white shirt, simple conservative tie. Last wedding I went to I wore exactly that and I was actually concerned my light green tie was too much.

Okay - Maroon isn't too bad (better than black) with a black suit and dark tie, but not something I'd wear.
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aainvestor
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Post by aainvestor » Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:53 pm

Will let you know in 3 weeks. Will be attending a wedding wearing a black shirt, black tie & black slacks.

F-

Bob's not my name
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Post by Bob's not my name » Tue Sep 07, 2010 7:02 pm

aainvestor wrote:Will let you know in 3 weeks. Will be attending a wedding wearing a black shirt, black tie & black slacks.
Recommended accessory: scythe.

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aainvestor
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Post by aainvestor » Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:00 pm

Bob's not my name wrote:
aainvestor wrote:Will let you know in 3 weeks. Will be attending a wedding wearing a black shirt, black tie & black slacks.
Recommended accessory: scythe.
Well I couldn't make it to the halloween store but the black was fine. I didn't stand out any more than I would have normally (given I was the only one wearing black skin also). Surveying the crowd, I saw just about every combination and it just so happened that the wedding party was wearing black also. The women were wearing black dresses with a dark gold belt and the guys were wearing black tuxes with white shirts and gold ties. Of course the bride wore white.

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Post by MWCA » Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:14 pm

I was a groom. Yes some lady decided to marry me. Go figure. I couldnt tell you what anyone was wearing. My wife and I only remember our best man and her bridesmaid. He was wearing his Army uniform and she was wearing a dress. Everyone else..dont know except for pictures.

My tux was black does that count a black?
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