Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

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XtremeSki2001
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Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by XtremeSki2001 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:39 pm

EDIT: See last page for updates.
Original Post wrote:Hello fellow Bogleheads. I need your advice on a surprisingly rare topic on this forum :shock:

I have been blessed with a most wonderful, beautiful, and money conscious girl-friend with whom I've decided to spend the rest of my life with.

A little background on me: mid-twenties, making above average income for my age group and education level, little debt ... not sure what else you all might need?

I'm curious as to your experiences with engagement ring buying and some tips I should consider in my quest to save and then purchase a ring. Though I have been blessed with a money conscious girl-friend, she's absolutely set on a two carat diamond ring in a simple platinum setting. After looking at a few rings/diamonds - I'm simply taken aback at the cost of such a thing.

Thoughts and advice are welcome :D
So my g/f and I have done some talking and browsing and there are some changes to the above.

I'm now considering something in the 1.00ct to under 1.50ct range.

Please see the later pages for updates.
Last edited by XtremeSki2001 on Wed Aug 25, 2010 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by White Coat Investor » Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:42 pm

XtremeSki2001 wrote:Hello fellow Bogleheads. I need your advice on a surprisingly rare topic on this forum :shock:

I have been blessed with a most wonderful, beautiful, and money conscious girl-friend with whom I've decided to spend the rest of my life with.

A little background on me: mid-twenties, making above average income for my age group and education level, little debt ... not sure what else you all might need?

I'm curious as to your experiences with engagement ring buying and some tips I should consider in my quest to save and then purchase a ring. Though I have been blessed with a money conscious girl-friend, she's absolutely set on a two carat diamond ring in a simple platinum setting. After looking at a few rings/diamonds - I'm simply taken aback at the cost of such a thing.

Thoughts and advice are welcome :D
Well, if platinum and 2 carats are already required, the only thing left to negotiate is the quality of the diamond. :) I hope that above average income is way above average! Good luck.

I was surprised to see "money-conscious" and 2-carat in the same post though.
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Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:45 pm

Try out this thread for pointers:

http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtop ... mond+rings

Usually, the better the color, the higher the price. Same thing with the flaws or lack thereof.
So, if your fiancee is enthralled with a 2 carat, IF and D color stone - be prepared to shell out mucho mucho dinero! Your luck if she doesn't insist on having a Tiffany ring.

BTW - Congrats on the engagement!

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Re: Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by XtremeSki2001 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:50 pm

EmergDoc wrote:
XtremeSki2001 wrote:Hello fellow Bogleheads. I need your advice on a surprisingly rare topic on this forum :shock:

I have been blessed with a most wonderful, beautiful, and money conscious girl-friend with whom I've decided to spend the rest of my life with.

A little background on me: mid-twenties, making above average income for my age group and education level, little debt ... not sure what else you all might need?

I'm curious as to your experiences with engagement ring buying and some tips I should consider in my quest to save and then purchase a ring. Though I have been blessed with a money conscious girl-friend, she's absolutely set on a two carat diamond ring in a simple platinum setting. After looking at a few rings/diamonds - I'm simply taken aback at the cost of such a thing.

Thoughts and advice are welcome :D
Well, if platinum and 2 carats are already required, the only thing left to negotiate is the quality of the diamond. :) I hope that above average income is way above average! Good luck.

I was surprised to see "money-conscious" and 2-carat in the same post though.
I guess you should have seen my face - I thought she was pulling my leg! She's more money conscious than anyone I've ever met in my generation ... she puts a lot of value on that little (pun) but very important piece of jewelry.

I guess to each their own!
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Post by XtremeSki2001 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 5:52 pm

GRT2BOUTDOORS wrote:Try out this thread for pointers:

http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtop ... mond+rings

Usually, the better the color, the higher the price. Same thing with the flaws or lack thereof.
So, if your fiancee is enthralled with a 2 carat, IF and D color stone - be prepared to shell out mucho mucho dinero! Your luck if she doesn't insist on having a Tiffany ring.

BTW - Congrats on the engagement!
Thanks for the link. edit: ... and thanks for the congrats!

She doesn't care where it comes from and it doesn't have to be the most amazing ring in the universe ... thankfully!
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Post by Chuck1 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:00 pm

I was in your situation about 2 years ago - i found the following sites particularly helpful:

http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/ - this is a great discussion board with a lot of very knowledgeable people, including jewelers and ring designers who frequent the board. They can tell you what is good and what is not w.r.t. diamonds, especially if you find something online (e.g. at Blue Nile, others) and can post them a link to it. I found this a great place to read up and get general info on diamonds. For example, they all say that cut is the most important of the C's, so don't compromise there.

http://www.whiteflash.com/ - This is an online site that is highly recommended by the experts on Pricescope as a place to buy the diamond and setting. I used them when buying my wife's ring. They were very helpful and friendly. They are a solid alternative to Blue Nile, if not superior. Their "A Cut Above" diamonds are amazing, much better than anything you would find in a jewelery store (ex. Tiffany's maybe).

From my own experience, I would say have your gf try some things on in stores to see what she likes, but definitely buy online for serious cost savings. We went with one of the aforementioned "A Cut Above" diamonds on Whiteflash and couldn't be happier; my wife gets compliments all the time on it. The only diamond i have seen that is as nice/sparkly of the same size was in a Tiffany ring that cost 2.5X as much. Plus, the superior cut makes it much more radiant and it looks larger than it actually is; so maybe you could sneak by with 1.8 carats?? :wink:

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Post by Norbert Schlenker » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:00 pm

It sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. ;)

Happy new year!
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Post by natureexplorer » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:21 pm

Why a diamond? Other minerals look just alike - even to the experts' eyes. http://www.gemsociety.org/chd2.htm

It is okay to buy something truly just because it is expensive, as long as you know that is what you are doing. Because let's face it, you buy a diamond because it is very expensive - for all other reasons you can find a better alternative.
Last edited by natureexplorer on Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by SP-diceman » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:56 pm

EmergDoc wrote:
I was surprised to see "money-conscious" and 2-carat in the same post though.
Apparently "money conscious" is in the eye of the beholder.
(or maybe on the ring finger)


Thanks
SP-diceman

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Post by ryuns » Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:01 pm

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Post by livesoft » Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:02 pm

Tell her: No engagement ring.

It worked for me and I am still married to my trophy wife almost 3 decades later.

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Post by Wagnerjb » Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:08 pm

When I was preparing to get engaged, I remember that my mother would occasionally complain that my father promised her a better diamond, but never got her one. When my parents got married, they couldn't afford a big diamond.....just like most young couples cannot. But evidently my father made some comment about "upgrading" at some undetermined future date.

Anyway, I took this lesson to heart and bought my wife a very nice diamond ring. She helped pick it out, but I was very clear upfront. "I am buying you a huge ring now, but there is no upgrade in the contract. Let's get one that you will be proud of your whole life".

That was over 20 years ago. Since then, my salary has grown and I have bought her other very expensive jewelry such as diamond earings, diamond tennis bracelet, etc. But I am glad I didn't have to live the past 20+ years with any obligation hanging over my head. :D

Congratulations to you both.
Andy

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Post by Opponent Process » Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:11 pm

have you shown your girlfriend your signature block?
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Post by mhalley » Thu Dec 31, 2009 7:26 pm

Where does the 2K ring fall among the "standard" 2 to three months salary?
Certainly the 2 to 3 month thing can be argued since it was started by deBeers, but I guess it is a place to start. When I got engaged was still in med school so got by with a cheapo ring then, that got upgraded on 10th anniversary when was making some money.
Mike

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Re: Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by polaar » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:35 pm

[quote="XtremeSki2001"Thoughts and advice are welcome :D[/quote]

Thoughts & advice: Red Flag for what might be to come.

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Post by TRC » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:53 pm

Does she know how much a good quality 2 carat diamond costs?! I would think that for all the right cut, clarity, color, etc... that that's a BIG purchase. I've been married to my wife about 7 years and bought her a very good quality 1 carat (and some change) ring on a white gold setting for about 7K. She loves it. Since then I've bought another diamond ring, diamond stud earings, and diamond hoop earings for her on cetain occasions. She has quite the nice little arsenal of diamonds.

I'd figure how much you want to spend and buy the best possible rock within that budget. You could get something really big, but not that great quality. Or something smaller with very good quality (I'd prefer the latter). Don't focus purley on size. Whatever you do, don't spend more than you can afford and pay cash. Don't buy into the 2-3 months salary BS either. That's just a great marketing gimmic by de beers.

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Re: Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by MWCA » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:59 pm

polaar wrote:[quote="XtremeSki2001"Thoughts and advice are welcome :D
Thoughts & advice: Red Flag for what might be to come.[/quote]

Yep.

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Post by firewynd » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:08 pm

Thanks to much marketing and propaganda, diamonds are highly over-rated and somehow most women are convinced that if they don't have a "real" diamond then you don't love them.

I think its all hogwash.

I proposed and gave my wife a nice 16k gold ring with a 1.5 ct CZ (Cubic Zirconium) stone. A good quality CZ is an equal match to a flawless diamond of the highest quality. Pretty much all diamonds out there have imperfections in them that lower the refraction of light and thus lower their brightness.

A good quality CZ will be more radiant and bright than any diamond that you can likely afford, and will be on par with flawless perfect diamonds (if there is such a thing).

I paid ~$150 for her engagement ring. I was super poor at the time and was like: buy a total pile of crap ring with a small crap quality diamond that is dull as mud, or research alternatives. So I spent like 20-30 hours doing research, reading up on cuts, quality, ratings, etc.. of diamonds then looking at alternatives. My concussion - CZ's are IMO the way to go.

If you or anyone else really cared about "brightness, brilliance, fire, etc.." then CZ is much much better than a diamond. Also its a lot cheaper!! Seriously I see no reason why anyone would even buy a diamond other than the social stigma due to propaganda / marketing.

My wifes engagement ring is gorgeous. No one knows its a CZ. Some of her friends compared their engagement rings to my wifes and their diamonds were dull and quite frankly - pretty terrible. My wifes CZ spanked them hands down and they were all very jealous (they do not know its a CZ).

Anyway... enough ranting. You want superior appearance at a fraction of the cost? CZ is where it is at.

edit: There may be some crap CZ's out there. I bought my ring from a reputable dealer of CZ's that are very high quality and had excellent reviews (most by women no less).
Last edited by firewynd on Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by Wabbit » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:15 pm

It started as marketing, but now I think diamond-buying has evolved into a couple of more ideas: first, a deposit of sorts, and second, as proof of your ability to support your bride which she can (and will) show to friends and family. It seems out of place in an era where women are fully able to support themselves, but there it is.

You might look into man-made diamonds, or I think they are called cultured diamonds now - meaning not zirconia but actual diamond material created in the lab. If the "conflict diamond" issue and the "supporting DeBeer's cartel" issue are important to you this might be a way around them. I don't know if they are cheaper though...

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Post by MariaT » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:23 pm

I am not a jeweler but I love (fine) jewelry. If she is set on a 2 carat diamond then find one that she'll be happy with (quality & size) and you (price). To get the most sparkle, get a round piece with a near to ideal cut. This will cause your pulse to go up. For me the "Cut" is the most important since this is where the lights come into play with the facets in your diamond. The more lights come in the more brilliant the diamond looks. Unless you want to hyperventilate settle for SI1 or SI2 (with some inclusions) for clarity. Sometimes a very tiny inclusion (seen only through a loupe) gives character to a diamond. You never have to worry about your diamond being replaced (you've heard horror stories) if you KNOW your diamond's flaw. Clarity, for me, is second to Cut, then Color. If she wants IF, D, E, F colors then you will even hyperventilate more and you are really in BIG trouble. Look for G,H,I and even J but don't go below. And lastly, the Carat size. I'd rather wear a 1 carat diamond with a very good to near ideal cut than a 2 carat diamond with a fair cut. As the saying goes, "All smoke but not fire."

I have never bought jewelry nor diamonds online so I cannot comment. You might want to check for loose diamonds at a jewelry exchange or district in your area if you have one. You can then pick a semi-mount ring or a Tiffany setting mount without having to go to a Tiffany store.

Congratulations to both of you.

All the best,
Maria

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Post by oneleaf » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:26 pm

firewynd wrote: A good quality CZ will be more radiant and bright than any diamond that you can likely afford, and will be on par with flawless perfect diamonds (if there is such a thing).
Even the best CZ's will have issues with durability and difficulty keeping it clean. It may not last forever like a diamond. On the other hand, a Moissanite is VERY hard and durable, easy to keep sparkling, and 1/10 the price of a diamond.

Take a look at online vendors of Moissanite jewelry. All the previous complaints about yellow-ish tinges have mostly gone away with the latest synthetics, and there is a huge movement of people opting for moissanite over diamonds.

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Post by natureexplorer » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:34 pm

Maybe some of the women on this forum can chime in on why women want diamonds.

My guess is they want a diamond precisely because it is expensive. Female peer pressure and status symbol probably plays a role. Or it could simply be lack of knowledge about a vast amount of alternatives. I don't know.

I personally would feel dumb buying a diamond. Like some of the other posters pointed out, if you substitute the diamond with another high-quality rock, you can have some beautiful custom jewelry made and all of a sudden the sky is the limit as you could have the most expensive Tiffany ring replicated indistinguishable - if that is what you wanted.
Last edited by natureexplorer on Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by dm200 » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:40 pm

"Valuing" a diamond (ring) is the result of decades of marketing by the diamond cartel. They even have the audacity to suggest how many month's income the man should pay for such a diamond.

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Post by jegallup » Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:46 pm

Diamonds are a ridiculous extravagance but make women very happy. This article http://www.edwardjayepstein.com/diamond.htm gives the other side, and explains why there is no market for "used" diamonds.
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Post by Gill » Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:02 pm

Just looked at one of your earlier posts where you stated you have a car loan, student loan and credit card debt. Also a portfolio in low five figures. Your entire portfolio won't pay for that ring. Does she have any idea of your financial position and the cost of a two carat diamond? I think you need to have an honest discussion of reality.
Bruce

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Post by Opponent Process » Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:04 pm

natureexplorer wrote:Maybe some of the women on this forum can chime in on why women want diamonds. My guess is they want a diamond precisely because it is expensive.
across 37 distinct cultures studied to date, women prefer males who can offer a dedication of resources, or at a minimum the potential for a future stream of resources, to help maximize the fitness of their offspring's genetic material. males have their own demands of course, and a successful mating meets in the middle.
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Post by gcturp » Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:05 am

Ditto on the synthetic diamond: cost less, made in America, made by well-paid Americans; with no doubts about the origins of the diamond ('blood diamonds'). See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_diamond
And: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_diamond

A decent 2 carat natural diamond is a ton of money. A decent 2 carat synthetic diamond will cost a lot less. Spend the saved money on a kick-ass honeymoon.

Also, platinum cannot be resized easily in the future, whereas gold can.

Are you sure your fiancee is money-conscious?

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Post by mfen » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:42 am

Congratulations.

Too much debt/expense to start out with. Sit down and have the financial reality talk with your fiancee. How much are you spending on the wedding? Don't start a household with huge debt. The first years of marriage are hard enough with piling on financial woes. Buy the best quality ring you can afford (truly afford). Upgrade later.

I think women forget that the engagement ring is a gift from their fiancee. Gifts should be selected by the giver not the receiver. Demanding gifts is rude.
Maryanne

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Post by bearcub » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:27 am

Bluenile.com You can save alot of money buying it online. Maybe not very romantic,but very bogleheadiss.

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Post by likegarden » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:51 am

Looking at practicality, with a $25K ring on her finger she will not be able to do any housework or help with the yard work, need to guard her any minute to not lose that rock. What a pain! Ladies lose rings while mowing the lawn, etc., not for her, will be all your work from then on!
Or you can put that ring in a safe, and give her a fake one for everyday.

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Post by Petrocelli » Fri Jan 01, 2010 8:14 am

If you can afford it, but it. If you can't, don't.

Whatever you do, don't borrow money to buy the ring.
Petrocelli (not the real Rico, but just a fan)

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Post by epilnk » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:34 pm

Petrocelli wrote:If you can afford it, but it. If you can't, don't.

Whatever you do, don't borrow money to buy the ring.
I agree with Petro here - engagement rings seem to fall outside the typical valuation parameters. If you value it highly, and she values it highly, and you can afford it, it's a good value so buy it. But if you can't afford it this equation does not apply, and if you really do have a car loan, student loan, and credit card debt (yikes!) you definitely can't afford it.

You need to have a discussion with your financially savvy girlfriend. Personally I'd have been pretty pissed off if my fiancee had blown most of our future downpayment on a ring, but fortunately he knows me better than that. In fact we probably wouldn't be together if we didn't share that value. It is not necessarily wrong to spend a lot on an expensive ring if you both agree it is worth it (and you don't go further into debt), but you and your fiancee absolutely need to be on the same page about where your cumulative money will go.

Linda

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Post by Harold » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:46 pm

Opponent Process wrote:
natureexplorer wrote:Maybe some of the women on this forum can chime in on why women want diamonds. My guess is they want a diamond precisely because it is expensive.
across 37 distinct cultures studied to date, women prefer males who can offer a dedication of resources, or at a minimum the potential for a future stream of resources, to help maximize the fitness of their offspring's genetic material. males have their own demands of course, and a successful mating meets in the middle.
No doubt that is the reason (along with successful diamond cartel marketing to make the diamond the current symbol of choice).

The irony to me though, is that the gesture reduces the resources available to provide for the couple. People forego home down payments etc. to purchase an artificially high priced rock.

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Post by JMacDonald » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:56 pm

Harold wrote:
Opponent Process wrote:
natureexplorer wrote:Maybe some of the women on this forum can chime in on why women want diamonds. My guess is they want a diamond precisely because it is expensive.
across 37 distinct cultures studied to date, women prefer males who can offer a dedication of resources, or at a minimum the potential for a future stream of resources, to help maximize the fitness of their offspring's genetic material. males have their own demands of course, and a successful mating meets in the middle.
No doubt that is the reason (along with successful diamond cartel marketing to make the diamond the current symbol of choice).

The irony to me though, is that the gesture reduces the resources available to provide for the couple. People forego home down payments etc. to purchase an artificially high priced rock.
Hi,
It is even worse when you add in the expensive wedding.
Best Wishes, | Joe

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Post by mikep » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:03 pm

bearcub wrote:Bluenile.com You can save alot of money buying it online. Maybe not very romantic,but very bogleheadiss.
I got it there and the price/quality/service is very good. However, I would not suggest getting it online.

1) You may need resizing if it is not perfect. Even though it is free where you buy it from, she will not want to wait 2-3 weeks to send back, you will end up paying a local shop to do it and its not cheap (I think we were charged over $200 for the resize).

2) It needs a lifetime of maintenance - prong adjustments, tuning, settings, checking for loose diamonds over time etc that I had no idea about. Again, free at the place you bought it if you buy local. Buy online you're out of luck, you will always get asked "Did you buy it here?" If yes, no charge, if not you pay for the rest of your life.

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Post by Opponent Process » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:18 pm

Harold wrote:The irony to me though, is that the gesture reduces the resources available to provide for the couple. People forego home down payments etc. to purchase an artificially high priced rock.
her genes are betting that his genes aren't bluffing, and that he can indeed pull it off. frankly, women don't have much time to mess around. they can't wait for the mortgage to actually be paid off (thirty years from now) before reproducing. if she hesitates, another fertile woman could poach her prospective mate.

just the fact that he's considering this demonstrates his willingness to be generous with his resources toward her genes, and her genes alone. such an exclusive dedication to her lessens the chances of him spreading his resources among other (several) mates, which is another male strategy.

and finally, at the end of the day, the genes really don't care (they don't have feelings). once they've recombined the next generation starts, and they couldn't care less about whether mom and dad (the former hosts) die broke. they're already scheming for the next recombination opportunity.
Last edited by Opponent Process on Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Curlyq » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:22 pm

.....
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Post by Harold » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:26 pm

Opponent Process wrote:
Harold wrote:The irony to me though, is that the gesture reduces the resources available to provide for the couple. People forego home down payments etc. to purchase an artificially high priced rock.
her genes are betting that his genes aren't bluffing, and that he can indeed pull it off. frankly, women don't have much time to mess around. they can't wait for the mortgage to actually be paid off (thirty years from now) before reproducing. if she hesitates, another fertile woman could poach her prospective mate.

just the fact that he's considering this demonstrates his willingness to be generous with his resources toward her genes, and her genes alone. such an exclusive dedication to her lessens the chances of him spreading his resources among other (several) mates, which is another male strategy.
Remarkable to me that even though were not hanging from trees any more this stuff still governs all of our behavior, despite our being able to see through to the parts that don't make sense in our current environment.

Joe, I was thinking about the blowout weddings as well.

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Post by jegallup » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:23 pm

Opponent Process wrote:her genes are betting that his genes aren't bluffing, and that he can indeed pull it off. ... if she hesitates, another fertile woman could poach her prospective mate.

just the fact that he's considering this demonstrates his willingness to be generous with his resources toward her genes, and her genes alone. such an exclusive dedication to her lessens the chances of him spreading his resources among other (several) mates, which is another male strategy.

and finally, at the end of the day, the genes really don't care (they don't have feelings). once they've recombined the next generation starts, and they couldn't care less about whether mom and dad (the former hosts) die broke. they're already scheming for the next recombination opportunity.
True love is a beautiful thing, isn't it? :lol:

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Post by yobria » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:48 pm

I asked my girlfriend why she wanted a big diamond engagement ring. Her response - "Needs to be big enough so men can see it from a distance. Otherwise you might get cheated on!"

Nick

Sam I Am
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Post by Sam I Am » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:52 pm

Message deleted.
Last edited by Sam I Am on Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mhalley
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Post by mhalley » Fri Jan 01, 2010 9:29 pm

And here I thought most cheating occured up close and personal. Must be all that sexting going on.
Mike

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woof755
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Post by woof755 » Fri Jan 01, 2010 10:12 pm

2 carats is really a huge ring. I guess I'm lucky my wife is tiny...she decided anything bigger than a carat would look like a separate appendage. I still had to buy mine on credit, and paid it off as soon as I could. (two months' salary my a$$)

Good luck on your tough decision. I think the OP can do without personal comments on his bride to be. Chances are, he knows her better than we do.
"By singing in harmony from the same page of the same investing hymnal, the Diehards drown out market noise." | | --Jason Zweig, quoted in The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing

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6miths
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Post by 6miths » Fri Jan 01, 2010 10:50 pm

Ouch!! Good luck with this unenviable task! 'Between a rock and a hard place' sure sounds accurate. Also the disconnect between the description of 'money conscious' and the desire for this rock is incredible. Or maybe it is her money she is conscious of... does the prenup say you will get this bauble back if things don't work out?

Most marriages that break up do so because of disagreements over money. Putting yourself in a big hole with the big ring, wedding, honeymoon, etc is asking for trouble down the road. The opportunity cost is huge! Maybe she will compromise and you can elope. Nice win-win!

If you must - what about Costco? At least you can be sure of rock bottom cost. Though something tells me this just won't make it!

Good luck! (no, really!)
'It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so!' Mark Twain

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norookie
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Post by norookie » Fri Jan 01, 2010 10:52 pm

Im a contrarian, by heart. My 1st wife got 1ct, in the 80s, in the mail, I was working out of state. If theres another I insist shes not attempting to out do or keep up w/the jones. I prefer substance to pretence. Thats a red flag imo. I'd re-read this thread 3 times. Try it. Good luck!
" Wealth usually leads to excess " Cicero 55 b.c

metalman
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Post by metalman » Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:52 pm

Tell her no, you can get one when you can afford it.
If she dumps you, she is the wrong person anyway. Any woman who insists you throw your money away on a trinket you can't afford just to show off or to have you "prove your love" is not really cost conscious, despite all pretenses to the contrary - money conscious as you put it maybe, but not cost conscious.

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sage1166
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Post by sage1166 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:14 am

I used BlueNile. Very good customer service, especially when I had to return the ring to be resized. "I'm a 6.5", she says...right. It was a completely painless process and the product was of great quality.

My "requirements" were 3/4 ct. and princess cut. I prefer round for the better refraction, but I ended up getting a .73ct. VS1, color F, with 18k setting. I think I actually spent 2 months salary at the time (not that long ago--I'm getting married July 31st of this year, but during graduate school and before I started my first "real" job with real money).

Make sure you go see some rings in the store and make some salespeople sweat.

I'm also a big fan of Moissanite. Though I couldn't get away with it for the engagement ring, I might take advantage of the technology for future gifts.

Mathcop
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Re: Non-Bogleonian? Engagement Ring Time

Post by Mathcop » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:26 am

XtremeSki2001 wrote: Though I have been blessed with a money conscious girl-friend
My wife of 20 years, who is truly money conscious, insisted that I buy her a less expensive engagement ring than I had been considering. Her reasoning - "Once we're married, we'll be combining our finances. Therefore, I am essentially paying for one-half of my own ring. And I'm not wasting alot of my own money on a silly ring!"

She still wears it every day.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you ... and always look on the bright side of life! - Eric Idle

Happydayz
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Post by Happydayz » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:30 am

This topic is just something that us men have to learn to live with.

I think we don't appreciate how much social pressure is put on women when it comes to a diamond engagement ring. Think back to every time you've been around a girl who has just announced that she is engaged. What is the first question that females around her always ask? "Can I see the ring?"

DeBeers has created an environment of intense social pressure on women. Even if they did not buy into the marketing they will still feel the pressure. It's a vicious cycle of judgment: the ring gets judged -> which leads to a judgment on the husband -> ultimately means a judgment of the female and what her "worth" is.

Yes, some females care about the silly rings for the sake of the rings. But many of them care about it because it is now unfortunately a testament to their value.

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SecretAsianMan
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Post by SecretAsianMan » Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:40 am

I second the pricescope.com recommendation. It is by far the best message board for learning everything you need to know and getting help throughout the buying process. Good luck!

SAM

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