Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities

When will YOU invest in the Nisiprius Optimum Blended Universal Index Fund and get the confidence that will make others notice you?

Today
35
37%
Today
35
37%
Tomorrow
25
26%
 
Total votes: 95

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nisiprius
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Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by nisiprius » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:17 pm

You know that many experts say you need an S&P 500 index fund in your portfolio. But which one? There are so many choices, and the analysis is so complex!

The Vanguard Five Hundred Index Fund (VFINX) is the famous original fund that started it all, the one everyone is proud to say they own. But if you had owned it for the past ten years, you would have missed out on the exceptional outperformance provided by the Schwab S&P 500 Fund (SWPPX), which yielded -0.21% compared to Vanguard's -0.23%. "But," you say, "I'm concerned about costs." Well, Fidelity Spartan 500 Index Fund is the standout here, with a low, low 0.10% ER, a full 33% lower than Vanguard's 0.15%.

Vanguard, Fidelity, Schwab--so many top names to choose from, to say nothing of T. Rowe Price, Blackrock, Dreyfus, and so many more. What to do? Nisiprius Investments has the answer--our brand new Nisiprius Optimum Blended Universal Index Fund (NOBUX)!

NOBUX invests in the top 20 S&P 500 mutual funds, applying the quantitative scientific mathematical principle which our experts refer to by the technical term "market cap weighting." They say they invest in each proportionally according to its total assets under management. But you don't need to worry about that. Let our powerful mainframe computers do the worrying for you, as they grind their disks away 24x7 calculating the exact proportions, minute by minute, to the penny.

Which is best? Now, you don't need to decide. You can own them all, with one single, simple purchase. Innovative? You bet. But you've come to expect that from Nisiprius Investments, "Where Your Investments Create Profit."

"Picked at the Peak of Publicity Perfection," "On Our Ship, Excellence is the Standard," and "Where Your Investments Create Profit" are service marks of Nisiprius Investments LLC
Last edited by nisiprius on Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Quasimodo
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Post by Quasimodo » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:29 pm

I'm definitely in tomorrow. Is there a baseball cap?

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Post by mfen » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:31 pm

Time is of the essence, I am in today.
Maryanne

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Post by RobG » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:34 pm

If you act now I'll throw in a free subscription to my "End of Western Civilization (EoWC)" ETF newsletter.

rg
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Post by Ron » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:35 pm

"Where Your Investments Create Profit"

Uh - for whom? :roll: ...

- Ron

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Post by gkaplan » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:40 pm

Do you have a link to the NOBUX prospectus?

Thanks.
Gordon

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Post by gkaplan » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:42 pm

Are you giving away toasters? (I'd settle for a t-shirt.)
Gordon

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Post by nisiprius » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:57 pm

gkaplan wrote:Do you have a link to the NOBUX prospectus?

Thanks.
Funny, none of our other customers have asked for one. But if you insist--it's just a bunch of legalese, you know--but I'm sure we have one around here somewhere. Hmmm... I'll have to ask my assistant later. I just can't seem to put my hand on one just now. Not sure where we keep them, we don't have much call for them. Look, give me your address and I'll shoot that prospectus right out to you as soon as I can get around to it. But for now, you don't need the prospectus. All you need is this form saying you've read the prospectus. Don't worry about it, it's just a formality, you know, lawyers. Nobody actually reads the prospectus, and nobody ever checks to see if they've read it. Trust me, there's no problem. Just sign this so we can get those NOBUX shares into your account building a better life for you right away. If you wait, you might miss out on the rally of the century. Sign in the area I highlighted for you in yellow. I've already put today's date in for you, you wouldn't want me to waste the form and have to do it all over, would you?
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

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Post by czeckers » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:06 pm

I think you should have gone with "Mutual Optimum blended Universal Index Fund" (MOBUX) Mo money, mo money, mo money!

You have elegantly hit on one of the sad truths in the financial industry... the innovation of products to serve the industry and not the investors. Out of curiosity, what is the ER NOBUX charges for its fascinating services. Oooooh I bet that it's worth it, whatever the price! All that technology and science and computers! Gonna make me rich.

-K
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Post by billern » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:14 pm

gkaplan wrote:Are you giving away toasters? (I'd settle for a t-shirt.)
I'd settle for a free lunch on the new nisiprius yacht that he will be buying with all the management fees. :lol:

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Post by mfen » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:50 pm

I recently looked at a prospectus for a private placement bond and he had letters of recommendation on the most beautiful letterhead - embossed linen. Of course I was blown away and just gazed upon the beautiful stationary and ignored the prospectus. I wouldn't want to seem like a social outcast all concerned with charts, numbers and returns - how gauche.

In my past dealings with nisiprius he has always dressed very well and drives a really nice car and I am sure his stationary is embossed. Besides he explains everything soooo carefully.
Maryanne

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Post by RobG » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:08 pm

Does the front cover have a picture of four smiling sophisticated people, all of different race? A fund with that has to be good.

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Post by bobbyrx » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:12 pm

Please take my money now! I know you are selective in which customers you accept, but I am so eager that I will not demand periodic statements. I just know that my money will be there at retirement.

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Post by Levett » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:19 pm

Maryanne writes:

In my past dealings with nisiprius he has always dressed very well and drives a really nice car and I am sure his stationary is embossed. Besides he explains everything soooo carefully.
_________________


I agree. And he's very sincere. :lol: Bob U.
There are some things that count that can't be counted, and some things that can be counted that don't count.

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Post by nisiprius » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:02 pm

czeckers wrote:Out of curiosity, what is the ER NOBUX charges for its fascinating services.
If a fund's managers can make you more money, why would you care about the so-called "ER?" Isn't the important thing the money you make?
RobG wrote:Does the front cover have a picture of four smiling sophisticated people, all of different race?
We've spared no expense on our stock photography fees. Four different races, four different ages, and four different genders. And the silver-haired lady is smokin' hot! Wait till you see the one inside that shows her strolling down a beach holding hands with a ripped senior dude.
Last edited by nisiprius on Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by Norbert Schlenker » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:03 pm

How long until the Nisiprius Optimized Special Exclusive Fund (NOSEX) passes SEC muster? That's been hanging for a while now.
Nothing can protect people who want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge.

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Post by Levett » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:10 pm

Naughty Norbert! :wink: Bob U.
There are some things that count that can't be counted, and some things that can be counted that don't count.

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Post by nisiprius » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:13 pm

Norbert Schlenker wrote:How long until the Nisiprius Optimized Special Exclusive Fund (NOSEX) passes SEC muster? That's been hanging for a while now.
Oh, you mean our market-neutered fund?
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

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Post by cheapskate » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:19 pm

I woulda loved to invest, but I already invested in the AQR Momentum funds.

Momentum is the "value" driver baby !

http://www.aqrfunds.com/Our_Funds/Famil ... default.fs

:)

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Post by RobG » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:20 pm

nisiprius wrote:
czeckers wrote:Out of curiosity, what is the ER NOBUX charges for its fascinating services.
If a fund's managers can make you more money, why would you care about the so-called "ER?" Isn't the important thing the money you make?
RobG wrote:Does the front cover have a picture of four smiling sophisticated people, all of different race?
We've spared no expense on our stock photography fees. Four different races, four different ages, and four different genders. And the silver-haired lady is smokin' hot! Wait till you see the one inside that shows her strolling down a beach holding hands with a ripped senior dude.
You mean Taylor Larimore?

Image

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Post by HueyLD » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:25 pm

Which is best? Now, you don't need to decide. You can own them all, with one single, simple purchase. Innovative? You bet. But you've come to expect that from Nisiprius Investments, "Where Your Investments Create Profit."
I didn't vote because I want to be a co-owner of your company. I bet I will make more money selling "our" funds than owning them. :lol:

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fu

Post by BlueEars » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:17 pm

nisiprius wrote:...(snip)...
Vanguard, Fidelity, Schwab--so many top names to choose from, to say nothing of T. Rowe Price, Blackrock, Dreyfus, and so many more. What to do? Nisiprius Investments has the answer--our brand new Nisiprius Optimum Blended Universal Index Fund (NOBUX)!
...
This is such a good idea that I'm afraid the fund will get too large. Do you have any plans to come out with clones? You'll need to reserve all those extra call letters now -- NABUX, NEBUX, NIBUX, NUBUX for a start. But I'm suspicious that they might have different ER's. Will NOBUX be an ER bargain forever -- or is this just a low ball starter offer?

Just doing my DD here.

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Nisiprius might want to consider yet another offering

Post by shawcroft » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:22 pm

Might I suggest that Nisiprius (our enlightened colleague) consider another multi-national mutual fund- the Foreign Longitudinal Asset Trust for Universal Securities (lovingly abbreviate as the FLATUS trust) be constructed to track the performance of NOBUX?
Seems to me much of what has emanated from Wall Street over the years rightly belongs in this category.
In any event, I would LOVE to see either fund code letters come across the ticker periodically.
Shawcroft

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Post by mfen » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:23 pm

This is such a good idea that I'm afraid the fund will get too large.
That is why you have to get in today. They will close this fund and if you are not one of the select few who understand sophisticated investment strategies when you see them you are just going to miss out. You are just oversciencing this. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith.
Maryanne

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Post by Gabriella » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:38 pm

bob u. wrote:Maryanne writes:

In my past dealings with nisiprius he has always dressed very well and drives a really nice car and I am sure his stationary is embossed. Besides he explains everything soooo carefully.
_________________


I agree. And he's very sincere. :lol: Bob U.
Absolutely, only the finest hand engraved stationery.

I bet he wears a really great watch, too! :D

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Post by BlueEars » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:46 pm

mfen wrote:
This is such a good idea that I'm afraid the fund will get too large.
That is why you have to get in today. They will close this fund and if you are not one of the select few who understand sophisticated investment strategies when you see them you are just going to miss out. You are just oversciencing this. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith.
Now I am really suspicious. Maryanne, I looked up "overscience" in the most authoritative source here: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/overscience. Well I only found things like "oversexed". I think you are trying to cloud this most serious issue with big words that haven't even made the dictionary yet.

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Post by mfen » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:48 pm

I looked up "overscience"
Term used in oil drilling promotions to say to the geophysicist "shut up already".
Maryanne

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Post by Levett » Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:50 pm

Yes, the watch is important, along with the (fake) gold chain/bracelet, the cute ring on the pinky, and the manly cologne.

There's just nothing like the look of success. :lol:

Bob U.
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Post by mews » Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:41 pm

The chest-hair on the ripped senior dude in the glossy folder has convince me that I must write a check!

Does the yacht in the background come with the fund? (I know it doesn't belong to our fund manager :wink: )

ta,
mew

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Post by speedbump101 » Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:51 pm

Nisiprius, I'd like the Canadian rights to distribute these funds. Please forward me a copy of the 'Frostback' version of the prospectus....

Canadian's are used to 2.5% MERs (average here) so I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I added a few 'hundred' basis points to the the US version would you? You know my costs are considerably higher here... snow shoes and igloo heaters aren't getting any cheaper these days.

Just hoping that tthe IPO sells ok because if you have to merge these two, the NOBUX and NOSEX, funds I'm afraid the resultant 'DIVORCED' fund might be a little harder to market up here... :-)

SB...
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Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by YDNAL » Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:04 am

.
I saw NOBU and immediately had this gut feeling Nisi is raising capital (scam, anyone?) to start his new restaurant.
http://www.nobumatsuhisa.com/

Count me out, I'm not investing. But, I'll eat at the restaurant. :)
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Post by Steelersfan » Sat Oct 17, 2009 4:40 am

I really want a microwave as an incentive to join but I'll settle for a toaster. That's my first and final offer, so come up with the goods or I'm out of here.

Since I know you're a good and honorable man and will accept my terms, can you post here the details of your offshore bank account where I can wire the funds?

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Post by stratton » Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:51 pm

You can't use NOTAX. It's already taken by a junk muni fund. :lol:

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Post by mews » Sat Oct 17, 2009 5:18 pm

How about NOFUN ?

It can be the umbrella fund when NOBUX and NOSEX are merged.

ta,
mew

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Post by Gabriella » Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:32 pm

bob u. wrote:Yes, the watch is important, along with the (fake) gold chain/bracelet, the cute ring on the pinky, and the manly cologne.

There's just nothing like the look of success. :lol:

Bob U.
Oh, yes, the cologne - can't forget the manly smell of success. Swoon! :D

Gabriella

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Post by Gabriella » Sat Oct 17, 2009 7:34 pm

mews wrote:How about NOFUN ?

It can be the umbrella fund when NOBUX and NOSEX are merged.

ta,
mew
Hmm. I'm afraid at that point it will be more like NOWAY. :D

Gabriella

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Post by Tall Grass » Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:51 am

I'd love to jump in...but all of my discretionary money is tied up in Beanie Baby and Pokemon futures.
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Post by Random Musings » Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:34 am

I'll pass until his total stock market and small-cap value funds are out.

RM

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by Dulocracy » Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:13 am

For the record, since this fund has been implemented, I now have a wife with a good paying job. Without this fund, I would not have had the confidence necessary to drastically increase my household income! Buy it today!
I'm not a financial professional. Post is info only & not legal advice. No attorney-client relationship exists with reader. Scrutinize my ideas as if you spoke with a guy at a bar. I may be wrong.

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by Levett » Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:47 am

" I now have a wife with a good paying job"

I assume this is for the long run! ;-)

Lev

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by tbradnc » Fri Sep 25, 2015 10:05 am

I'm going to hold off until I read a few dozen pieces on "Seeking Alpha" so I'll know what to think about it....

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by DaufuskieNate » Fri Sep 25, 2015 11:07 am

I'm still waiting for my opportunity to buy the S&P 500 index fund. After all, it was the most innovative new fund introduced in 1976 by a maverick player in the mutual fund industry. I figure I'll give it another 10 years to establish a solid track record and then consider dipping a toe in the water. I'm afraid I don't have enough time left to wait for NOBUX to establish itself as a legitimate fund.

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Re:

Post by ResearchMed » Fri Sep 25, 2015 11:35 am

Gabriella wrote:
bob u. wrote:Yes, the watch is important, along with the (fake) gold chain/bracelet, the cute ring on the pinky, and the manly cologne.

There's just nothing like the look of success. :lol:

Bob U.
Oh, yes, the cologne - can't forget the manly smell of success. Swoon! :D

Gabriella
Did the rest of you miss Shark Tank when the next inventor presented his cologne "MONEY", with - WAIT FOR IT - the scent of brand new USA printed paper money?

And better yet, IIRC, the packing materials inside the box consisted of shredded... USA paper money.

Nisi, was that you we sniffed walking by the other day? Or do all fund holders get a bottle when they sign up?
Perhaps you should have it sprayed in the fashionable arrival rooms of all of your branch offices, with appropriate manufacturing adjustments made for your many foreign affiliates.

RM
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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by EddyB » Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:32 pm

I'd like to hold NOBUX in the fund of funds of funds that I manage. Is there an institutionalized investor class?

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by Fallible » Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:41 pm

Dear Sir,

I've never heard of Nisiprius Investments, but I have heard of Nisiprius Enterprises, although not for some time, so I suppose I should ask whatever happened to it (just in case it has some bearing on your current enterprise).

To be honest, I don’t like “brand new” funds (or even just “new” ones), but I am impressed that mainframe (is that kind of like my desktop only lots bigger?) computers and not humans (like emotional, biased me) will do the work. I also don’t understand what an “optimum blended universal index fund” is, but anything with the word “index” in it must be good. Nor do I understand "quantitative scientific mathematical principle," let alone how NOBUX applies it. However, anything I don't understand must be important, just as I assume anything I do understand must be unimportant, which is what my broker keeps telling me every time I work up the nerve to ask if he’s a fiduciary. I also like your idea of owning "them all with one single, simple purchase" because then I don't have to decide which, or even think about it (although I see I will have to decide among three options and that could be tricky for me). As Daniel Kahneman says, "All of us would be better investors if we just made fewer decisions."

It’s also cool knowing that your fund will give me the “confidence” I utterly lack in everything financial - at least I hope it does if it will, as you say, “make others notice me.” Maybe if it gives me enough confidence, I can ask my broker about the fiduciary thingy.

Oh, and I appreciate your admitting acknowledging (under questioning) that there is a prospectus and you can’t find it, but that we don’t need it anyway. I never read legalese. But speaking of legal, isn’t a prospectus required by the SEC? Or is it the FED? No matter: you are an indexer and having now read your three options and realizing there are only two (so sneaky clever of you), I’ve voted “today.”

Looking forward to my newfound confidence!

Fallible (forever)
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool. ~Richard Feynman

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by ZumZabo » Sun Sep 27, 2015 7:46 am

I did finally obtain a copy of the prospectus. Large print "Primary objective is capital appreciation". Small print "Nisiprius will really appreciate the capital".
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Re: Re:

Post by nisiprius » Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:33 am

ResearchMed wrote:...Nisi, was that you we sniffed walking by the other day?...
I used to know the daughter of a farmer (not a joke). Whenever the wind was blowing in the right direction to carry the smell of the pig barn our way, the farmer would shrug and say "that's the smell of money."
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

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Re: Re:

Post by ResearchMed » Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:38 am

nisiprius wrote:
ResearchMed wrote:...Nisi, was that you we sniffed walking by the other day?...
I used to know the daughter of a farmer (not a joke). Whenever the wind was blowing in the right direction to carry the smell of the pig barn our way, the farmer would shrug and say "that's the smell of money."
Hmmmm.

We'll just let you be the one to take that particular cologne to Shark Tank :shock:

RM
This signature is a placebo. You are in the control group.

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by Ricola » Sun Sep 27, 2015 11:19 am

Will there be a long 3x leveraged version? oh, and and also I will need a short 3x leveraged version. Can't wait! :mrgreen:

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Re: Nisiprius Investments Launches Yet Another Innovative Fund

Post by William4u » Sun Sep 27, 2015 11:31 am

So funny. It reminds me of this famous study...
Imagine that you have decided to invest in a stock mutual fund. Given the tear the American market has been on lately, you decide to invest in a fund that exclusively buys U.S. stocks. Also, because you’ve heard some good things about index funds, you decide to buy a fund that tracks the investment results of the S&P 500 index and owns 500 leading, large companies in the U.S. Fortunately, you have some choice because more than one investment company offers this type of index fund.

So looking at the chart below, which fund would you pick?

The one you should have picked is the JRN Index Fund. Why? For the simple reason that it has the lowest management expense ratio (MER). Remember, each of these funds is designed to replicate the returns of the same S&P 500 Index, so they should perform virtually identically before fees and costs. So the only variable that should have any real impact is the MER.

But what about those differences in annual returns? They vary solely because the dates used to measure “annual returns since inception” depend on when the fund was launched. So the JRN fund, despite being the cheapest, appears to have lagged in performance simply because it was launched in the technology boom of the late 1990’s when the U.S. market was pricey and the Canadian dollar was in the doldrums.

If you picked the CWD Index Fund because it has the highest return, notwithstanding that it also has the highest MER, don’t despair. You’re in good company. In an experimental study conducted by Professors Choi, Laibson and Madrian, 391 members of the Harvard University staff were asked to invest a hypothetical $10,000 across four S&P 500 index funds with varying returns since inception and MER’s. Some 38% of the money invested was erroneously allocated to the most expensive fund simply because it had the highest return since inception.

The professors conducted the same experiment with two study groups comprised of college students from Harvard University and MBA students from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, considered to have one of the top finance programs in the world. In each of these elite groups, less than 20% of the $10,000 was allocated to the cheapest S&P 500 index fund. Overwhelmingly, study participants placed a high emphasis on returns since inception and failed to minimize fees even in the face of the commodity-like nature of an index fund. If finance geeks don’t get it right, what hope does the average investor have?
http://business.financialpost.com/perso ... index-fund

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