What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

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JustGotScammed
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What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by JustGotScammed »

Could be about investing or life in general.
er999
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by er999 »

Here’s my advice at 48 that I didn’t know in my 30s:
1. Consider moving to a state with no income taxes. While you shouldn’t move someplace you hate, if you are a typical high earner w2 employee with relatively low spending compared to your income like most bogleheads you will be way ahead in a low or no income tax state. People like to say that states will get their money from you anyway so income tax vs no income tax difference doesn’t matter but you really need to analyze your own situation.

2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.

3. You are most likely to get ahead financially by maximizing your current profession rather than looking at lottery like possibilities like an entirely new career or risky investments. Okay to try but focus on maximizing your current pay.
invest4
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by invest4 »

The value of simplicity in investing

* Very few investments needed (Total US, Total Intl, Bond / fixed income)

* Rid yourself of small investments that don't matter in your portfolio...they are just clutter

* Avoid trying to "optimize" your portfolio with backtesting (the past is not the future) and tilting, etc. which is largely just guessing and hoping.


Bonds are more complex than stocks

* Even if you are 100% stocks, start learning about bonds as soon as possible so you can be better prepared when the time comes.


Whole life policies

* Not worth it in most cases...focus on term life.


Think carefully about moving away from family

* There are trade-offs...some of which you don't appreciate until you are older and find that you have made a life far from your family and are unable to be the sibling, aunt/uncle, cousin, or whatever that you would like to be.
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tennisplyr
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by tennisplyr »

That you can recover from financial setbacks if you stay patient and never give up.
“Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.” -Retired 13 years 😀
THY4373
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by THY4373 »

In my 40s I learned that I didn't want to be married and honestly never should have been married. That in and of itself wasn't the leading cause of my marriage's demise but it was a contribution. In my mid-50s now and rocking the solo life and love it.

Also in my 40s I realized I needed to start taking better care of my mind and body. In particular I started exercising regularly this really helped with my stress and my developing poor sleep patterns. I am not a gym rat by any means but it is amazing what an hour 4-5 days a week of exercise has done for my physical and mental health. I also started making decisions that would increase my mental welling being vs more money or prestige.

I also realized I needed to start living my life in a more deliberate manner. I had been a planner to some extent like planning for retirement but honestly a lot of my life was on autopilot. I started mapping out more goals and working on my bucket list.
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Sandtrap
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Sandtrap »

JustGotScammed wrote: Sun Apr 28, 2024 11:48 pm Could be about investing or life in general.
"Learning and age are relative".
Learning and growth, etc, are not "linear paths".

in time, or instantaneously, personal perspective can change on a dime with catharsis, existential crisis, culture (huge), etc.
and, as per "intrinsic cognitive psychology" ( and a recent summary article in the new yorker), 99% of our motivation sources, etc, are largely unknown to ourselves, though, with cognitive bias, it may seem the opposite.

And, despite pervasive societal myth, age and experience does not beget wisdom, knowledge, greater successes and less failures, etc, nor the accumulation of wealth.

But, per question and an actionable substantive "financially focused" answer/input, per forum guidelines.

for me:
With every passing decade and life experiences, et al. In retrospect, there is a "feeling" of having more focus, more discretion in all things, and a very slow understanding of what materialistic things are important or not, and so forth.
However, though most will "ameliorate" for self support, etc, the reality is that by the ages of 50, 60, 70, etc, some will stay the same, some will devolve, and per the "bell curve", some will evolve.

For example: my "net worth" from businesses, etc, grew at a rapid pace and was greater in the later stages of things than in all years prior.
It was not linear or cumulative, it was exponential, as was the learning process.

Another example: At age 32, I realized that, for me only, that I was never going to have my efforts compensated, nor create "substantial wealth", by being an employee.

j :D
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Grt2bOutdoors
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

You can always make more money - you can not make more time. Spend your time with those who matter most to you and on activities that adds the most value to your life.
Time waits for no one. Choose who you spend your time with wisely.

There’s more to life than just one employer or career. Leave work at the office.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions
mykesc2022
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by mykesc2022 »

Dont look back, nothing back there is of use now. Go forward, look forward, be the best you can be going forward.
Badinvestor
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Badinvestor »

I learned in my 40s how awful the US healthcare system is. I was unfortunately in my peak earning years so I didn't leave the US immediately.

I should have learned that even accidental landlords make money in California.
Valuethinker
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

1. that this is all very finite, and how much money you have is not a good way of keeping score. Neither are material toys (well, I kind of knew that already).

2. that people will leave your life. Get sick and die. Die suddenly in tragic accidents. Drift away. You will feel a sense of loss, and regret for times you did not spend, or times you were short with them, etc. Each time you see someone, it is worth thinking "how would I like to be with this person, if I knew we would never see each other again?"

People who meant a lot to you sometimes turn out not to be worth the effort. Conversely people who were "minor" friends and acquaintances can turn out to be absolute bricks when the going gets rough.

3. not having enough money is a major cause of stress and anxiety. But once you hit some level of standard of living which guarantees shelter, food, transport and some ability to enjoy yourself, more money doesn't make a huge difference to happiness.

4. career success may elude you. OTOH having a job that is interesting and has some sense of purpose (other than just financial) is worth a lot.

5. themes that occur early in your life around family, work, relationships - will keep going round that same loop. If there's an issue there, they will do so until you are able to address them.

6. experiences matter more than things. And may be irreplaceable.

Places change, and you may not be able to revisit them (civil war etc) or they won't be the same. And you won't be the same, either. You certainly should not fall into the trap, however, of believing things were always better in the old days.

In the same vein, because you are never the same, good and bad experiences are not repeated, exactly.

7. Whatever happens, remember the universe doesn't care. It has no sense of moral justice about you. You are just another particle. You are not "owed" anything - so much of it is just plain luck. You can do sensible things (like not smoking, not spending more than you earn, not habitually exceeding speed limits, always wearing your seatbelts etc) but lots will happen to you that you just cannot legislate for).

In the same vein, be compassionate for those whose luck has not been as good - parentage, genes, life events, health etc.

8. your own estimates of probability and risk are probably far from the actual probabilities of good and bad that you face.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

Grt2bOutdoors wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 8:45 am You can always make more money - you can not make more time. Spend your time with those who matter most to you and on activities that adds the most value to your life.
Time waits for no one. Choose who you spend your time with wisely.

There’s more to life than just one employer or career. Leave work at the office.
Very wise, indeed.

Between 9-11 and then 2008-09, we should all have learned those lessons.
runner3081
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by runner3081 »

The body will hurt more. Pulling weeds, for example, will elicit a few days of soreness.
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Watty
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Watty »

1) I was in my 50's during the 2008 financial crisis and for a long time it was not at all clear that it would not get a lot worse and turn into something like the Great Depression of the 1930s. There was a very real risk that I would get laid off and my job prospects would have been grim since most companies were laying off people in my field and not hiring people.

I looked at a number of "what if" scenarios and one of them was moving to a nice very low cost of living college town I knew and buying a duplex for cash and living off the rent and my savings until I could get on Social Security. That would have been real frugal and not now I would have wanted to live and retire but somehow knowing that I had "enough" that I did not need to worry about being broke and homeless felt surprisingly good. (I was not laid off and did fine.)

2) In my early 50s I had one year when I went to three funerals of people who were more or less my age. I was not real close to any of them but when you start seeing people like coworkers and neighbors dying that does get you thinking. I had known people who had died younger and even as a teenager in things like car accidents which were unexpected tragedies but these were different since they were from health problems which were statistically predictable.

My wife and I also had some health scares at about that time which turned out OK but that also gets you thinking. Those helped me decide to start spending more on things like travel and then retired as soon as I reasonably could when I was 58.

In the US culture we tend to not think or talk about the chances of dying very much until someone is very elderly so the risk of dying younger than average is usually underestimated. For a couple their joint life expectancy is also not intuitive. This joint life expectancy calculator is very simplistic but according to it for a 40 year old couple there is about a 26% chance that they will not both live to be 65. The flip side of this is that it says that there is about a 14% chance that at least one of them will live to be 95.

https://www.kitces.com/joint-life-expec ... alculator/
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Watty
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Watty »

er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
abc132
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by abc132 »

Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
In this case your chances are better with higher expected returns. In most outcomes you will have done better having invested in stocks. You can switch into bonds later when your portfolio size is worth protecting.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by MP173 »

Life is fragile and one can lose loved ones. We are not invincible.

Have a plan, but write it in pencil.

Ed
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GerryL
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by GerryL »

I knew nothing about investing until I reached my 40s. My little IRA was in CDs. Before starting to look for someone who could help me invest, I started educating myself on the subject. Learned the importance of cost (rather than past performance) as a way to judge mutual funds. Eventually decided that a simple Boglehead style of investing was good enough for me. I'm now 75 and retired -- or gainfully unemployed, as I like to say.

Another thing I learned when I was just turning 40: How to drive. Finally got my drivers license.
Valuethinker
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 10:59 am 1) I was in my 50's during the 2008 financial crisis and for a long time it was not at all clear that it would not get a lot worse and turn into something like the Great Depression of the 1930s. There was a very real risk that I would get laid off and my job prospects would have been grim since most companies were laying off people in my field and not hiring people.

I looked at a number of "what if" scenarios and one of them was moving to a nice very low cost of living college town I knew and buying a duplex for cash and living off the rent and my savings until I could get on Social Security. That would have been real frugal and not now I would have wanted to live and retire but somehow knowing that I had "enough" that I did not need to worry about being broke and homeless felt surprisingly good. (I was not laid off and did fine.)

2) In my early 50s I had one year when I went to three funerals of people who were more or less my age. I was not real close to any of them but when you start seeing people like coworkers and neighbors dying that does get you thinking. I had known people who had died younger and even as a teenager in things like car accidents which were unexpected tragedies but these were different since they were from health problems which were statistically predictable.

My wife and I also had some health scares at about that time which turned out OK but that also gets you thinking. Those helped me decide to start spending more on things like travel and then retired as soon as I reasonably could when I was 58.

In the US culture we tend to not think or talk about the chances of dying very much until someone is very elderly so the risk of dying younger than average is usually underestimated. For a couple their joint life expectancy is also not intuitive. This joint life expectancy calculator is very simplistic but according to it for a 40 year old couple there is about a 26% chance that they will not both live to be 65. The flip side of this is that it says that there is about a 14% chance that at least one of them will live to be 95.

https://www.kitces.com/joint-life-expec ... alculator/
Both excellent points:

1. about the impact of 2008/09 and that period of terror when it was not immediately clear things would get better. That we might be looking at another Great Depression or at the very least a 1970s rerun of a lost decade (that lasted nearly 15 years) in equities.

2. about mortality. I didn't realise the joint mortality statistics.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

MP173 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:22 am Life is fragile and one can lose loved ones. We are not invincible.

Have a plan, but write it in pencil.

Ed
Good way to put it.

thank you
UpperNwGuy
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by UpperNwGuy »

In my 40s I learned that my marriage was hollow, so I became single for the first time in more than 20 years. I learned about the enjoyment of long distance running and ran nine marathons. I pressed more strongly for career advancement as the divorce increased my monthly expenditures. I am sorry to say that I learned nothing useful about personal finances in that decade.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by investorpeter »

The power of compounding annual returns over long periods of time.

For example, in my 30's I would have looked at the difference between 8% annualized returns and 10% annualized returns as insignificant. Now that I understand how to do the math, I realize that a mere 2% difference in annualized returns over a long period of time can result in a monumental absolute difference in your final balance at the end of the period.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by windaar »

Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
A person starting investing in 1965 would "learn" that 100% equities was a really really bad idea. A person starting investing in 1982 would "learn" that 100% equities was a splendid idea.
Nobody knows nothing.
Lynx310650
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Lynx310650 »

My biggest lesson that I figured out in my 40s that I didn't in my 20s and 30s is you have to fit your life and decisions around yourself rather than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

This is within reason of course. It's generally good to have some kind of job that gives you meaning in life, to get some exercise, to save some money. But you can't just do what's popular or blindly follow universal advice that may not be right for you.

Take exercise as an example. I didn't realize (esp in my 20s) how much of the weight lifting advice out there was tailored for gym-bro types that want to look like Thor or want to bench press 400 lbs. And of course they don't tell you the former may not even be possible for many without PEDs. Just kind of blindly going with the flow and not tailoring my workouts for my body type/age but more importantly my goals led to some unnecessary injuries and more time spent in the gym that necessary when I could have been doing other stuff.

I'll use an analogy from one of my favorite sports, MMA/UFC (basically boxing for those completely unaware of the sport). Initially these fighters at the start of their careers join these huge gyms that train many fighters and they don't get as much individual time with coaches. Almost every fighter says they really got better once they started running their "own" gyms/training camps and bringing in specific coaches to deal with specific things they want to work on and would give them 100% of their time. An MMA coach on a podcast I listened to explained how to apply this to your everyday life. Most people aren't going to hire or even need "coaches". But imagine you are your own coach in all your different aspects of life, whether it's career, exercise, being a parent, etc. And imagine that coach is coming up with specific plans tailored specifically for you instead of just run of the mill stuff that applies to everyone. That's how you want to be living your life.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by MangoManiac »

Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
Taking notes as an early 40's that's 98% equities :shock:
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by cbs2002 »

1) Parent died in my 40s, earlier than I expected, and I "credit" that with a significant positive change in my outlook on family, work, friends, everything. What a wake up call to be intentional about my time, create experiences with those closest to me, spend more money, and de-center work from my life.

2) Colleagues are not your friends, and someone being a good, smart and dedicated person does not make them good at their job. I figured this out as a business leader later than I should have. Had to make some tough choices and reorient myself to the needs of the workplace.

Coincidentally these learnings happened around the same time. Oddly, death probably created mental space for me to get more objective - and a bit colder - about work. While I of course wish parent was still with us, the evolutions have been healthy for me.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by abc132 »

windaar wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:32 pm
Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
A person starting investing in 1965 would "learn" that 100% equities was a really really bad idea. A person starting investing in 1982 would "learn" that 100% equities was a splendid idea.
Have you back-tested this theory?
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by lemon_lime »

Valuethinker wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 9:17 am
5. themes that occur early in your life around family, work, relationships - will keep going round that same loop. If there's an issue there, they will do so until you are able to address them.
This is so true. It's worth spending some time thinking about whether you are consciously or unconsciously repeating patterns of behavior that are not productive. Mid-life is probably the time when this is most clear, and when you still have time to change.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by ScubaHogg »

- I learned that we should have started having kids much earlier. For several different reasons.

- I learned I should have started strength training earlier

- I learned mid-life career changes are difficult and maybe not worth it
“…the expected profit required from a gamble increases not with the size of the risk, but rather with the size of the risk squared.” - Missing Billionaires
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by ThankYouJack »

That there's no need to dwell (or focus) on some FI number or SWR. That having more than enough and an abundance while enjoying my job is better than winning the lottery and something that more people (especially Bogleheads) should aspire to.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by NashTransplant »

- Sleep matters, and figuring out how to prioritize getting enough is worth doing.

- Comparison really is the thief of joy. I have so much more than I imagined I would have and still have to guard against looking with envy at people who have more.

- Second the person above who wrote that it's never too late to get your finances in order. I didn't have a plan until I was 40. Hell, I had bad credit in my late 30s. But it could all turn around with focus, and it did.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Carguy85 »

abc132 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 1:36 pm
windaar wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:32 pm
Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
A person starting investing in 1965 would "learn" that 100% equities was a really really bad idea. A person starting investing in 1982 would "learn" that 100% equities was a splendid idea.
Have you back-tested this theory?
Does said person drop one lump sum in and not invest any more until after 1982 or does said person steadily contribute from every paycheck over those 17 years totaling the same as the lump sum?
Wannaretireearly
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

I’m mid forties so I’ll take a pass at answering with a caveat I can update this years later ;)

- I learned that rapid career progression is easier to drive in your thirties. I’ve essentially tapped out at my age. I’m ok with that, others perhaps not. Thirties are when you have more drive, just enough experience and opportunities surface to go up or lateral. Fewer opportunities in your 40s. Ymmv.

- I learned that whatever financial goals I set in my thirties were baloney. Inflation, children and costly hobbies (travel) took care of that.

- I learned that no matter what I do at work, I will get yelled at for something I could not anticipate or control. So, I now try to let things go and ensure I carve out time for myself/family. Being closer to FI helps, but doesn’t have as much affect that it should

- I learned in my mid forties, that a nap is needed to feel alive again at 5pm, especially on days I’m on zoom calls at 6:30am

Lastly I learned the happiest people sometimes/often? have the least money and stuff. How to translate that into something actionable for myself is a WIP.
Last edited by Wannaretireearly on Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:39 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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bloom2708
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by bloom2708 »

If you keep eating the same food and quantity in your 40s and 50s that you did in your 30s (and 20s), you will pass in your 60s or early 70s. Same for alkohol. No amount is "good" for you or "healthy".

It is a jungle out there. :shock:
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StewedCarrot
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by StewedCarrot »

Grow where you’re planted.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Badinvestor »

bloom2708 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:31 pm If you keep eating the same food and quantity in your 40s and 50s that you did in your 30s (and 20s), you will pass in your 60s or early 70s.
Sounds encouraging to me. I ate more in my 40s than in my 20s and 30s, and reverted to my earlier pattern of eating in my 50s. Thus, I will pass in my (now late) 60s or early 70s, and don't need to worry about inflation!
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Clever_Username »

I'm too early in my 40s to have an answer, but I'm looking forward to having an answer to this question someday.
"What was true then is true now. Have a plan. Stick to it." -- XXXX, _Layer Cake_ | | I survived my first downturn and all I got was this signature line.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by abc132 »

Carguy85 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:25 pm
abc132 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 1:36 pm
windaar wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:32 pm
Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
A person starting investing in 1965 would "learn" that 100% equities was a really really bad idea. A person starting investing in 1982 would "learn" that 100% equities was a splendid idea.
Have you back-tested this theory?
Does said person drop one lump sum in and not invest any more until after 1982 or does said person steadily contribute from every paycheck over those 17 years totaling the same as the lump sum?
If you start investing in 1965 you invest periodically over time. You don't experience anything like the 1965 retiree. You can consider increasing wage, decreasing wage, or steady wage. Use a conservative return expectation to make something like a 20% savings rate into 100% stocks.

You will do fantastically for this sequence.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by bloom2708 »

Badinvestor wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:36 pm
bloom2708 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:31 pm If you keep eating the same food and quantity in your 40s and 50s that you did in your 30s (and 20s), you will pass in your 60s or early 70s.
Sounds encouraging to me. I ate more in my 40s than in my 20s and 30s, and reverted to my earlier pattern of eating in my 50s. Thus, I will pass in my (now late) 60s or early 70s, and don't need to worry about inflation!
Yep. YOLO. Or is it you only die once. Something like that. All my relatives lived like no tomorrow. When I die I die they'd say. Until...they got horribly sick, had strokes, heart attacks, stents, pill a palooza and dr visits to pass the time. Then they were reluctant and a bit miffed, but it was already too late. Welcome to the jungle. It is good until it isn't. :arrow:
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by TheRoundHeadedKid »

Marriage is overrated and singlehood is underrated.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by JPM »

1. The Harvard Study of Adult Development that says the richness of your relationships is the key to human happiness, I think they have that absolutely right.

2. Marriage is not peaches and cream all the time for anybody. If you are a loyal and generous partner and your partner is loyal and generous to you, then you can overcome even the serious problems and disappointments that can be part of living and make marriage a rich part of your life. Without that mutual loyalty and generosity, any little storm can blow it down.

I have nothing of significance to add to the many wise posts above.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Fallible »

JustGotScammed wrote: Sun Apr 28, 2024 11:48 pm Could be about investing or life in general.
I'll go with life in general and learning the role that luck played through out. Not until I was older and had more life to look back on did I begin to realize the luck involved. And the more I looked back, the more luck I saw and the more thankful I felt. It has led to a solace that has become increasingly important as I age and lose more family, friends, and pets. And the solace is an ever deepening gratitude for the luck in having had them in my life.
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by rule of law guy »

physical health cannot be taken for granted. exercise and eat nutritiously.

emotional health cannot be taken for granted. spend time with family and friends, which sometimes means you have to make sacrifices and reach out.

your career cannot be taken for granted. it is the most important line item on your balance sheet, even though if you were to make a balance sheet, you probably wouldn't list it.

everything else can be taken for granted :wink:
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Makaveli »

Mid 30s, following with interest.

I recently called off an engagement and feel at peace with it. Interesting to see the sub-theme around marriage.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Vtsaxandchill »

This too shall pass.

Alcohol is terrible for your sleep and sleep is good.

Aerobic exercise is good for the mind and body.

Keep investing simple and pay yourself first.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by livingalmostlarge »

Kids really do get more expensive as they get bigger. I thought that daycare was so expensive. i was so wrong. That's just the start. They get bigger and more busy and more expensive. Also what you think you will have for kids will change unexpectedly and rapidly do not be surprised.

That you have to really work at your marriage. That expecting it to just flow is unreaslistic and that having kids puts a lot of stress on your marriage in ways you can't picture when you first have kids. Divorce after watching so many friends does a NUMBER on your financial situation. Not only PICK your partner wisely but work on your marriage or else no matter how wisely you "picked" you can lose 50% of what you've saved if not more after paying for the divorce.

That you need to love to get up and go to work. That working for money gets old really fast. In my 30s DH and i thought we could hate our jobs and enjoy life. You should at least want to get up or it's impossible to get up.

That save more and invest more aggressively when you are younger and take risks the more it pays off. I wish i had saved earlier and more, but we didn't make much and were struggling.
Last edited by livingalmostlarge on Mon Apr 29, 2024 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by BeaverBeliever »

When you have won the game, stop playing. Greed is the great equalizer.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

Carguy85 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:25 pm
abc132 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 1:36 pm
windaar wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:32 pm
Watty wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 11:14 am
er999 wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:36 am 2. It’s okay to be 100% equities — that isn’t a crazy idea if you have a job with good job security. I unfortunately was 25% bonds throughout my 30s - early 40s despite having good job security as a physician. I don’t necessarily recommend 100% stocks for everyone in their 30s for all the reasons listed otherwise on the forum (and of course the last 10-15 years have been great stock market returns that colors the advice) but I wish I knew that 100% stocks wasn’t a crazy idea.
I disagree with thinking 100% stocks in your 30s is a good idea. The problem is that there are lots of reasons that you might not be able to work as long as you hoped for.
A person starting investing in 1965 would "learn" that 100% equities was a really really bad idea. A person starting investing in 1982 would "learn" that 100% equities was a splendid idea.
Have you back-tested this theory?
Does said person drop one lump sum in and not invest any more until after 1982 or does said person steadily contribute from every paycheck over those 17 years totaling the same as the lump sum?
A person who retires at 65 in 1966 is equivalent to a lump sum investor.

That's the problem. The market can stay over/ undervalued ie underperform inflation or outperform, for a very long time.
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Valuethinker »

Fallible wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 5:38 pm
JustGotScammed wrote: Sun Apr 28, 2024 11:48 pm Could be about investing or life in general.
I'll go with life in general and learning the role that luck played through out. Not until I was older and had more life to look back on did I begin to realize the luck involved. And the more I looked back, the more luck I saw and the more thankful I felt. It has led to a solace that has become increasingly important as I age and lose more family, friends, and pets. And the solace is an ever deepening gratitude for the luck in having had them in my life.
This is pretty profound. Thank you.

It's a real truth. Gratitude for having had them.

One both has to be virtuous: eschew excess alcohol, not smoke/ stop, weight within sensible parameters, drive defensively and with a seatbelt. Always spend less than you earn and put the difference into long term investments.

One thing I have noticed from people who do "danger" sports is that they are generally not reckless. Extremely thorough and controlled. Checklists. Don't exceed their skill level, and advance that in a very controlled way. Scuba divers. Climbers etc. I guess natural selection wipes out the reckless ones over time. It's kind of how I model Bogleheads and investing. Investing in equities is (highly) risky. But a patient and disciplined process can still bring great rewards.

But one also has to acknowledge the incredible role of luck. Born in the right year. In the right country. With the right incentives and surmountable barriers. Genes OK. No chronic or long term disabling conditions. Parents who don't totally mess you up - especially in those very early years when psychology appears to say the damage can be really done (Attachment Disorder).
Last edited by Valuethinker on Tue Apr 30, 2024 9:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Charles Joseph
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by Charles Joseph »

How to stay married.
Retired June 2023
doobiedoo
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Re: What did you learn in your 40s and older that you didn't know in your 30s?

Post by doobiedoo »

Valuethinker wrote: Mon Apr 29, 2024 9:17 am 1. that this is all very finite, and how much money you have is not a good way of keeping score. Neither are material toys (well, I kind of knew that already).

2. that people will leave your life. Get sick and die. Die suddenly in tragic accidents. Drift away. You will feel a sense of loss, and regret for times you did not spend, or times you were short with them, etc. Each time you see someone, it is worth thinking "how would I like to be with this person, if I knew we would never see each other again?"

People who meant a lot to you sometimes turn out not to be worth the effort. Conversely people who were "minor" friends and acquaintances can turn out to be absolute bricks when the going gets rough.

3. not having enough money is a major cause of stress and anxiety. But once you hit some level of standard of living which guarantees shelter, food, transport and some ability to enjoy yourself, more money doesn't make a huge difference to happiness.

4. career success may elude you. OTOH having a job that is interesting and has some sense of purpose (other than just financial) is worth a lot.

5. themes that occur early in your life around family, work, relationships - will keep going round that same loop. If there's an issue there, they will do so until you are able to address them.

6. experiences matter more than things. And may be irreplaceable.

Places change, and you may not be able to revisit them (civil war etc) or they won't be the same. And you won't be the same, either. You certainly should not fall into the trap, however, of believing things were always better in the old days.

In the same vein, because you are never the same, good and bad experiences are not repeated, exactly.

7. Whatever happens, remember the universe doesn't care. It has no sense of moral justice about you. You are just another particle. You are not "owed" anything - so much of it is just plain luck. You can do sensible things (like not smoking, not spending more than you earn, not habitually exceeding speed limits, always wearing your seatbelts etc) but lots will happen to you that you just cannot legislate for).

In the same vein, be compassionate for those whose luck has not been as good - parentage, genes, life events, health etc.

8. your own estimates of probability and risk are probably far from the actual probabilities of good and bad that you face.
Very thoughtful. Thank you.
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