Calm small dog breed for family

[Fishing2retire]

Looking for anyone who has experience with a small dog breed that’s calm. We had a golden doodle that was probably the worst dog experience I ever had. Jumped on everyone barking at everything. Nervous biting at guests ankles and wrists. We have a small yard so smaller dog would be better. Low shedding is a preference as well. Also good health breeds. Kids want a dog they can pick up and hold. Any recommendations on this is much appreciated.

[AnnetteLouisan]

Shiba Inu. Not super small but cute and calm.

[goblue100]

We had a toy poodle, weighed about 6 pounds. He fit most of your criteria and was always happy to curl up with my wife on the sofa. Small dogs tend to be yappy and often act aggressive but a good owner will be able to curb those tendencies. I will say a small dog and very young children is often not a good mix, as small children are erratic and make the dog nervous. I highly recommend watching some episodes of Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer. After you watch you will learn most dog problems are actually owner problems.

[clip651]

Whatever dog you get will need basic training to behave well in your household. Consider an adult dog rather than a puppy because puppies are a lot of work.

How old are the kids? Smaller dogs are vulnerable to injuries from little kids.

Dogs that shed less will need regular trips to the groomer. That can be a great trade off if you are prepared for the cost and time commitment of going to the groomer.

[clip651]

You might also consider a cat! No barking, but cats have their own issues, and they do shed.

[delamer]

Bijon Frise.

My child-in-law’s family had one. Very sweet dog. (And I’m not a dog person.)

[cnblure]

We have a toy Australian Sheppard. She is calm, intelligent, and loving. Her size (11 lbs) is perfect for us in that she is easy to travel with, but is still sturdy enough to handle herself. She is great with everyone and very patient with random kids that would like to pet her. We constantly get complemented anytime we take her anywhere on how well behaved she is. We invested a lot in her training though so YMMV... I love her so much.

[Swee'pea]

A family we know with young children has a whippet. The whippet needs exercise, but inside the home is calm, quiet and loving. An elderly friend had a King Charles Cavalier dog that made a wonderful companion. No personal experience as we have larger dog breeds as family pets.

[SmileyFace]

Lhasa Apso or Shih Tzu. No shedding - small - freindly - calm - smart.
Bijon or Toy poodle or minature poodle are other options although not as calm as a Lhasa.
I agree that Golden Doodles are off the charts rambunctious. I don't understand why they are so popular - 3 out of 4 people I know that have them have regrets not realizing how high energy they are.

[Ed 2]

You might also consider a cat! No barking, but cats have their own issues, and they do shed.

Started up with a dog discussion , ended up with fish in the tank.

[Dottie57]

When I was a little girl (2-4 yo) we had a miniature Dachshund. He was very barky, , determined, very smart, constant companion and very cute. He was wire haired so very different looking than most.

My dad was a veterinarian. He said all breeds had ill tempered individual dogs and really sweet dogs. Much depends on how they are trained and this does take effort. Rescues can be great as well as pure breeds.


My nephew has 2 Australian shepherds. They need LOTS of exercise. They are smart. Nephew will be training to run a course. They exhibit herding of humans. The two dogs have different personalities. One is pure goofy. The other standoffish and will drfinitely give you the stink eye at times.


Op the golden doodles I’ve seen fit everything you want except size.

[alex_686]

Caviler King Charles. Largest breed of lap dogs.

Vote against Australian Shepherds. Shepherds are high energy and need a job, minis tend to be neurotic.

Or better still, don’t pick a breed. Individuals within a breed can massively vary. Rather let the dog choose you.

[clip651]

Cavalier King Charles are lovely dogs, but unfortunately prone to heart problems. This can be heartbreaking for the owners, too.

[TomatoTomahto]

Or better still, don’t pick a breed. Individuals within a breed can massively vary. Rather let the dog choose you.

Find a rescue mutt that's a bit older (ie, not a puppy).

[PeninsulaPerson]

Much depends on how they are trained and this does take effort. Rescues can be great as well as pure breeds.

Can't put it better than this!

Love rescues - and the humane society folks often know a lot about an animal's temperament.

Are your kids old enough to be involved in the dog-training?

You don't specifically mention a puppy but have you considered an older dog that would be so grateful for a new home ... with kids? They are out there!

[StewedCarrot]

Or better still, don’t pick a breed. Individuals within a breed can massively vary. Rather let the dog choose you.

Find a rescue mutt that's a bit older (ie, not a puppy).

I agree with this. Find a mutt. You’ve seen the problem with “breeds”. (They are, by definition, inbred.)

The biggest commitment is *your* time to train and exercise it.

[alex_686]

Cavalier King Charles are lovely dogs, but unfortunately prone to heart problems. This can be heartbreaking for the owners, too.

Yes. Normally I would recommend a mutt, but my wife loves the Cavaliers. This is one of the few cases where I would recommend going through a breeder. Good ones can screen for the genetic markers and breed away from them.

[FirstGenInvestor]

Our Doxle (dachshund/beagle mix) is around 25# and other than barking at the mailman is a perfectly quiet dog who equally enjoys playing, walking, and lounging on the couch. The experience has been so blissful that my wife and I plan to only get Doxle’s moving forward. They’re also a breed that’s low to the ground so they’re good with smaller children as they won’t overwhelm them with their size. Only downside is they tend to have back issues, but it’s manageable if you limit their jumping off furniture

[AnnetteLouisan]

Beagles are the best of course but they keep making cutting remarks and crashing their planes fighting the Red Baron.

[tm3]

Different dog breeds most definitely have different behavior characteristics (hyper vs calm, protective vs not, trainability, tendency to bark a lot, etc.) -- see The Right Dog For You by Daniel Tortola, or similar research. My wife was dead set on a beagle until we read about the beagle's breed characteristics.

If you pick a mutt you are rolling the dice as you don't know what breeds are in the mix. Might turn out great, might not.

You are going to have to decide what is most important to you and what you are willing to give up.

Example: low/no shedding, very calm indoors, acts appropriately with strangers (when trained), great with children ==> Bouvier des Flandres, but, small and hand-holdable ==> nope.

[alex_686]

Beagles are the best of course but they keep making cutting remarks and crashing their planes fighting the Red Baron.

Don’t forget their signing ability.

[BogleKev]

We had a cockapoo (cocker spaniel/poodle mix) for many years. Got her as a 12 wk old puppy when the kids were 9 & 11. Went to basic dog training class with her but she followed house rules and rhythm really well. Never any aggression and she was a beloved member of the house for 14 years. Has hair (not fur) so zero shedding and hypoallergenic. Max weight was 16-18 lbs so easy handled by the entire family and was into lap sitting. Has the intelligence of a poodle and the chill of a cocker spaniel.

If you want the classic buff color I seem to recall that those are less expensive than the more rare ginger and black and mottled ones... but that may not still be the case.

One note: If you are going to a breeder find out how many generations bred the dog is. The sweet spot is 2 or 3 gens (i.e., after the initial cocker/poodle breeding, the subsequent cockapoo gens are bred. Wisdom in the cockapoo community say that the 2nd and 3rd gen are a perfect blend of the best characteristics of the two breeds. After that genetic defects get augmented (heart, knees, eyesight, etc).

Good luck!

[mrspock]

“Breed” does not guarantee a calm/low energy dog. You also need to evaluate the dog’s personality and energy level as an individual dog. I’ve seen way too many folks make this mistake… they go buy what they think is a lazy dog breed, only to have it tear up their house.

If calmness is desired, get an *adult* dog. You simply cannot assess puppies very well at that age.

If high certainly is desired, foster to adopt at a local shelter (about 2 weeks so their true self will begin to shine). Worst case you give a dog a break from being in a kennel all day, best case you give a dog a second chance at a new life. The shelter staff or foster family (if already in a foster, but nit to adopt) can also give you a ton of info on their personality and energy level.

[Fishing2retire]

Thanks for all the recommendations so far. Kids are 12,9,5. My DW did 90% of taking care of the dog and really worked on training her. Getting the kids to take care of the dog was hard most days. Really didn’t want to walk her etc. But know I would say 1 kid really misses the dog along with DW.

[PeninsulaPerson]

Beagles are the best of course but they keep making cutting remarks and crashing their planes fighting the Red Baron.

[uaeebs86]

We got a West Highland Terrier (a little over 20 pounds) who was a stray (found the owners but they said we could keep him). Super calm and great with kids. Good health, sheds some but not like short hair dogs. Wire-haired dogs are the best for (lack of) shedding.

[Point]

It’s much less about the dog than it is about the owner and training. Appropriate training and behavior reinforcement will go a long way. And I’m not just talking about the dog…

[Limoncello402]

Your best bet is to go with an adult dog, a mutt, through a reputable rescue agency. They will be able to accurately assess that dog's personality. Buying a puppy is a gamble.

[HeartinAK]

A well bred King Charles would be wonderful.

[just frank]

Australian Labradoodle from a good breeder. Smart, calm, and very loving. mid-20 pounds. No shedding or drooling.

[Joybeejoy]

Please be aware Cavalier King Charles Spaniels can have heart issues. And, in general, Australian Shepherds are known for nervousness. I'm a member of a dog training club, and I have trained with both breeds. Whippets can be wonderful. Will shed some. Havanese and Bichon Frise are delightful companions. Border Terriers are mild mannered for terriers and a smallish medium size. For me, the important thing is to meet at least one of the parents and assess temperament.

[Doom&Gloom]

Your best bet is to go with an adult dog, a mutt, through a reputable rescue agency. They will be able to accurately assess that dog's personality. Buying a puppy is a gamble.

+1

[toomanysidehustles]

Also good health breeds. Kids want a dog they can pick up and hold. Any recommendations on this is much appreciated.

Anything with a -poo in it are typically well tempered.

Cockapoo (we have 4 Cocker Spaniels)
Lasapoo
Maltapoo

[TomatoTomahto]

Also good health breeds. Kids want a dog they can pick up and hold. Any recommendations on this is much appreciated.

Anything with a -poo in it are typically well tempered.

Cockapoo (we have 4 Cocker Spaniels)
Lasapoo
Maltapoo

I'm old enough that those were called mutts in my day.

[Bmac]

We have a Shih-poo. 10 lbs of mellow, friendly, and adorable lapdog. Perfect city pet. Would happily sleep 22 hours a day. Very low maintenance.

[clip651]

Thanks for all the recommendations so far. Kids are 12,9,5. My DW did 90% of taking care of the dog and really worked on training her. Getting the kids to take care of the dog was hard most days. Really didn’t want to walk her etc. But know I would say 1 kid really misses the dog along with DW.

If your wife is going to put in the work with the dog, she should probably be the one to pick which dog to get. It's nice for you to gather some ideas for her, though, and you can show her this thread.

Getting an adult dog is the easiest way to get a dog with a known temperament. This can be done through shelters or rescues, or even through breeders sometimes (retired show or breeding dogs). Any dog will still need training to fit into your household, and even an adult dog can take a bit of time to settle in and reveal its full personality after you bring it home. But at least with an adult dog you have a clearer picture of their temperament, and your wife won't need to put in the extra work through the puppy stage for an unknown outcome.

I like the idea someone posted above about fostering for a shelter or rescue. That gives your family a chance to try out a dog for a while, and if it's working out you can go through with the adoption. If not, the dog gets some time in a home, and the shelter can adopt the dog out to another family who will know even more about the dog after you are able to tell them about your experience with the dog in your family.

Any dog can have health problems, including mutts. Certain breeds are known to have certain problems that are worth knowing about and screening for (if possible, depending on the health problem) before picking a pet to bring home. With small breed dogs, I would avoid anything with a pushed in face (brachycephalic) and/or big bulgy eyes. The brachycephalics can have all sorts of breathing difficulties, and those cute big bulgy eyes are vulnerable o injuries and ulcers and other eye problems that can be expensive and challenging to treat. But every pet owner needs to be prepared to deal with health problems as they come up. When fostering, you may be able to get a veterinary exam early in the process (before you've decided whether to adopt) and get the vet's opinion on the dog's current health and what problems that breed or mix may be prone to as well.

Best wishes with your family's hunt for the right companion!

[adamthesmythe]

There used to be a series on cable titled Dogs 101 with discussion of different dog breeds.

Had a neighbor once with a Dalmatian that would get frantic whenever anyone came to the door, familiar or not. That gets old pretty quickly. Choose carefully.

[Swansea]

Thanks for all the recommendations so far. Kids are 12,9,5. My DW did 90% of taking care of the dog and really worked on training her. Getting the kids to take care of the dog was hard most days. Really didn’t want to walk her etc. But know I would say 1 kid really misses the dog along with DW.

If your wife is going to put in the work with the dog, she should probably be the one to pick which dog to get. It's nice for you to gather some ideas for her, though, and you can show her this thread.

Getting an adult dog is the easiest way to get a dog with a known temperament. This can be done through shelters or rescues, or even through breeders sometimes (retired show or breeding dogs). Any dog will still need training to fit into your household, and even an adult dog can take a bit of time to settle in and reveal its full personality after you bring it home. But at least with an adult dog you have a clearer picture of their temperament, and your wife won't need to put in the extra work through the puppy stage for an unknown outcome.

I like the idea someone posted above about fostering for a shelter or rescue. That gives your family a chance to try out a dog for a while, and if it's working out you can go through with the adoption. If not, the dog gets some time in a home, and the shelter can adopt the dog out to another family who will know even more about the dog after you are able to tell them about your experience with the dog in your family.

Any dog can have health problems, including mutts. Certain breeds are known to have certain problems that are worth knowing about and screening for (if possible, depending on the health problem) before picking a pet to bring home. With small breed dogs, I would avoid anything with a pushed in face (brachycephalic) and/or big bulgy eyes. The brachycephalics can have all sorts of breathing difficulties, and those cute big bulgy eyes are vulnerable o injuries and ulcers and other eye problems that can be expensive and challenging to treat. But every pet owner needs to be prepared to deal with health problems as they come up. When fostering, you may be able to get a veterinary exam early in the process (before you've decided whether to adopt) and get the vet's opinion on the dog's current health and what problems that breed or mix may be prone to as well.

Best wishes with your family's hunt for the right companion!

The above is excellent advice. Having worked in rescue for a number of years, be aware that some groups do not look favorably upon someone who fosters as a way to "try out" the dog. That is because switching the dog's home is stressful. That said, the rescues where I volunteered did not bar fosters from adopting. I fostered my current pup and adopted him in less than 24 hours.

[clip651]

Having worked in rescue for a number of years, be aware that some groups do not look favorably upon someone who fosters as a way to "try out" the dog. That is because switching the dog's home is stressful. That said, the rescues where I volunteered did not bar fosters from adopting. I fostered my current pup and adopted him in less than 24 hours.

Yes, I think some rescues like "foster failures" (foster families that adopt and then can no longer foster since they have the dog they were wishing for). Other rescues are looking for fosters who can work with a variety of dogs over time. And others are looking just to adopt out dogs and hopefully not have them bounce back (no fostering involved). I think it can vary by rescue, and also by what individual dogs coming through may need. For example, sometimes a dog needs a temporary home while getting over a medical problem, and the rescue isn't ready to offer them for adoption yet, etc.

It's best to be up front with the rescue about why you are looking to foster if you go that route.

[btenny]

Lhasa Apso's are great small dogs. Calm and quiet and healthy. Live to 14 years or more. They are basic chill dogs who like to cuddle on the couch next to you or set on the floor next to you. Kids love to drag and carry them around like dolls and the dogs like it. They love people and kids and are good watch dogs who alert with small barks due to outside noise or visitors. They have long hair that needs regular grooming so beware. Their coats are easy to manage if cut into a "short puppy cut" and washed and groomed regularly (monthly or so). Expensive to buy as puppies and they are not plentiful. Many are mixed with Poodles or Shih Szu or a dozen other breds to get other traits. I have owned three while I raised my kids. They are wonderful animals.

[toomanysidehustles]

Also good health breeds. Kids want a dog they can pick up and hold. Any recommendations on this is much appreciated.

Anything with a -poo in it are typically well tempered.

Cockapoo (we have 4 Cocker Spaniels)
Lasapoo
Maltapoo

I'm old enough that those were called mutts in my day.

Yup, but sadly back in the day they didn't fetch the premium price and are considered "designer dogs" like they do now.

On the whole border/aussie/sheep herding mix...agree stay away from those unless you want the equivalent of another 2-3 year old in your life!

[BionicBillWalsh]

A Havanese is exactly the kind of pet you’re looking for.

[Random Poster]

We have a chihuahua-miniature pinscher dog, although I wonder about the “miniature” part because he’s got long legs.

But he’s near perfect, for a dog. Rarely barks, never sheds or needs grooming, and is perfect with kids and other dogs. He doesn’t like rain or thunderstorms, and he prefers laps to any other location, and his only health issue (so far) in his 12 year life has been to have a few teeth removed and one spider bite infection removed. He was obtained from a shelter and has had no formal training.

Most dog owners think that their dog is great, but he really is a top 10 dog. We should have trained/certified him to be a therapy dog because he’s so good with strangers and being petted by others and just sitting with you, but we didn’t.

That all said, getting a dog like him was pure luck.

In contrast, we also have a chihuahua-corgi mix, and she’s not friendly to other dogs, only likes probably 8 people in the world (thankfully, my wife and I are within that group), and she sheds enough to make a queen size blanket every year. She likes to assert her independence at the worst times (like when crossing a busy street) and she doubles as a botanist at virtually every walk, stopping at nearly every bush to investigate its leaf and stem structure.

But she’s also a great friend and partner to us and to the other dog. And getting a dog like her was also pure luck.

All of which to say that I’m not convinced that you can pick a particular breed and be assured of much. I think a lot depends on luck and possibly training. And on the health front, feeding them good, single ingredient food likely helps.

So maybe the best bet would be to check out the local shelters regularly and when you find something that might be a good fit for your family, just go with that dog, regardless of what their breed is?

[Dottie57]

Beagles are the best of course but they keep making cutting remarks and crashing their planes fighting the Red Baron.

But they are highly entertaining! And smart.

[ActiveIndexer]

Cavapoos are a cross between toy or mini poodles and cavaliers.

My wife and I pet-sat for over a decade as a side hustle but never had animals of our own. We took care of several cavapoos and all had the same general calm, affectionate temperament. Even the ones not properly socialized. It was such a positive experience that we got our own. If you go this route, stick with first generation and do some research comparing puppy pics to their adult pics so you can pick the coat type you desire. Some have the cavalier coat, most get the curly poodle coat. You can typically tell by the time they are adoption age. Please consider a reputable and ethical breeder. It will work out better for you and the pup’s parents.

Cavapoos tend to have the intelligence of a poodle with the docile and affectionate nature of the cavaliers. They get attached to their humans and match your lifestyle/activity level. It's scary how smart ours is, feels like similar intelligence to a 3 year old. He understands so much. We adopted his mom from the breeder and while she is a sweet full-bred cavalier, she is definitely more of a dog and not as intelligent.

[Dottie57]

We have a chihuahua-miniature pinscher dog, although I wonder about the “miniature” part because he’s got long legs.

But he’s near perfect, for a dog. Rarely barks, never sheds or needs grooming, and is perfect with kids and other dogs. He doesn’t like rain or thunderstorms, and he prefers laps to any other location, and his only health issue (so far) in his 12 year life has been to have a few teeth removed and one spider bite infection removed. He was obtained from a shelter and has had no formal training.

Most dog owners think that their dog is great, but he really is a top 10 dog. We should have trained/certified him to be a therapy dog because he’s so good with strangers and being petted by others and just sitting with you, but we didn’t.

That all said, getting a dog like him was pure luck.

In contrast, we also have a chihuahua-corgi mix, and she’s not friendly to other dogs, only likes probably 8 people in the world (thankfully, my wife and I are within that group), and she sheds enough to make a queen size blanket every year. She likes to assert her independence at the worst times (like when crossing a busy street) and she doubles as a botanist at virtually every walk, stopping at nearly every bush to investigate its leaf and stem structure.

But she’s also a great friend and partner to us and to the other dog. And getting a dog like her was also pure luck.

All of which to say that I’m not convinced that you can pick a particular breed and be assured of much. I think a lot depends on luck and possibly training. And on the health front, feeding them good, single ingredient food likely helps.

So maybe the best bet would be to check out the local shelters regularly and when you find something that might be a good fit for your family, just go with that dog, regardless of what their breed is?

One thing to note. KEEP YOUR DOG AT A HEALTHY WEIGHT. Just luke people letting a dog become overweight. Really affects their lives. Don’t give treats unless for training purposes. No people food for your dog!

[Oldaroo3]

and she doubles as a botanist at virtually every walk, stopping at nearly every bush to investigate its leaf and stem structure.

Funniest line of the day! Thanks!

[Blue456]

Whatever you do don't get a beagle.

[Arabesque]

Poodles are great dogs. A mini poodle would be great for your family. When my children were little, I bought a carefully bred mini because all the dog groomers I knew recommended them. She was fabulous with the kids and, aside from grooming, no work. The kids taught her a dozen tricks. The kids are grown, but I still have two that I run agility with.

Basically poodles have been in the top five or ten popular breeds for many, many decades because they are smart, clean, trustworthy, trainable, non shedding, and funny. Circus dogs. Hunting dogs. Standards even ran the Iditarod.

Greeders—not breeders—mix everything with poodles because even poorly bred poodles improve other breeds. I have no idea why people buy mutts when they could have a poodle.

[unclescrooge]

One of the smartest people I ever worked for recommended a springer spaniel as the ideal family dog.

For the love is God, do not get an Alaskan Klee Kai or a Terrier-Chihuahua mix.