How much do you spend on gifts for the holidays?

[VoiceOfReason]

I’m curious how much $ people in this group spend on gifts over the holidays. Also, if there is anything interesting about how you do gifts. (No gifts, experiences only, splurge on certain people, etc)

For me ~$3,500

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

[angelescrest]

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

Maybe 1/10th of that for our immediate family, and about 1/10th of that for those outside.

[stoptothink]

-Kids (8 and 5) have a budget of $100 each, wife handles this throughout the year and we usually end up under this. We go through a lot of effort to instill that Christmas is not about gifts and our kids are overjoyed at what they get.
-We have an agreement to not get each other anything, but we always end up doing something. For instance, I just paid for another year of wife's jiu jitsu/muy thai gym and got her a pair of new shinguards
-Wife spends THOUSANDS on friends and family, depends on what her end-of-year bonus will be. She generally spends $300+ (this year, quite a bit more ) on each of her parents, plus gets something for every other family member, and literally every person that she has a phone number for. On the other hand, I spend $0 (agreement in my family that we do not do gifts). I really do not like this, but after battling every December for the first few years of our marriage I decided this is not the hill I want to die on.

[runner3081]

Not much at all, actually.

This year it will be just under $300

My wife and I do not exchange gifts.

*We spent roughly $65 on our daughter
*Two nephews - $20 total
*Wife's parents - $25
*My dad and his wife - $30
*Neighbor Kid - $10
*Sister in Law - $15
*11 direct reports at work + daughter's teacher - $75 Total
*Admin Assistant - $50 (this is essentially mandated by work)

We do shop all year and score really great deals on Slickdeals. Normal price on those items is significantly higher.

[jebmke]

Not including donations and tips, zero.

We donate to favorite charities of various family members.

[Broken Man 1999]

DW - $300
DD - $250 each
SIL - $250 each
Grandkids -$125 each
Plus trip for all to Bern's in 2021

Health aides - $400 M-F, $300 Saturday & Sunday. Plus each receives a large tin of cookies, and an assortment of stuff from Bath & Body Works.

Garbage men (3) - $25 each. They always return our garbage cans up to the garage area so DW doesn't have to drag them up our driveway after they are emptied.

Broken Man 1999

[RXfiles]

I’m curious how much $ people in this group spend on gifts over the holidays. Also, if there is anything interesting about how you do gifts. (No gifts, experiences only, splurge on certain people, etc)

For me ~$3,500

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

Stating your income is also kind of important. We gross 320k and spent about 3000. 1000 on each other and 1000 immediate family. No kids

[rage_phish]

Income of $200k

Spend about $800-$1,000
And we celebrate Christmas and Chanukah so gifts spread across broth holidays

$100 on one member of wife’s family
$100 on one member of my family
$100 on my wife
$100 on me
Roughly $200 on two nephews
Roughly $200 on my two sons

[Picasso]

... I spend $0 (agreement in my family that we do not do gifts). I really do not like [wife spending so much $ on holiday gifts], but after battling every December for the first few years of our marriage I decided this is not the hill I want to die on.

I am in this exact situation. Communal agreement on no gifts on my side of the family, but wife's family demands it. I used to go to the mat for this, but its just not worth the effort anymore.

[rich126]

I'm not much into gifts. Kids sure, adults not really. Often it is just an exchange of gifts cards or other stuff I don't want or need.

Now if I had more money I could see making a special effort donating and helping others in need.

[ThankYouJack]

I don't keep track, but we spend thousands (maybe $3-4k this year). I'm not that into gifts (especially receiving) and it takes a lot of time shopping for others. So wish we didn't exchange as much with adult family members but oh well. It can be a bit wasteful but we're fortunate to have the money to try to help spread some love and joy

[avenger]

About $1500 in total.
I support my mother with $1000/mo though.
I make $400k/yr.

[johnny]

For our family

$500 for immediate family
$500 for extended
$100-200 for friends

We give to charities throughout the year. Some years this is more than others, but not like other families that seem to hold off on big purchases until the end of year and call it a Christmas present.

[TomatoTomahto]

I don’t think of it as a holiday gift, but we give each of 4 kids $30k/year. Other than that, $0.

Once the kids no longer believed in Santa, $0. In NJ, mail delivery and sanitation workers all wanted money. In MA, perhaps they still do, but we no longer give.

Our incomes are sufficient, but I prefer not to specify.

[stoptothink]

... I spend $0 (agreement in my family that we do not do gifts). I really do not like [wife spending so much $ on holiday gifts], but after battling every December for the first few years of our marriage I decided this is not the hill I want to die on.

I am in this exact situation. Communal agreement on no gifts on my side of the family, but wife's family demands it. I used to go to the mat for this, but its just not worth the effort anymore.

I wouldn't say my wife's family "demands" it, as they (outside of in-laws) have never given us a gift (for any reason, as far as I can remember), but I'm sure there would be a few comments if we didn't because it is just expected at this point. It's my wife; as far as I am aware none of her friends ever gift her, but she has a list of maybe 50 (including co-workers) that she gets something for every year.

[smitcat]

This year....

About 10% - kids
About 2% - on myself and wife
About 88% - on people/donations outside the immediate family

[lessismore22]

$500 total.

We have three kids and two god children. DW and I do not buy each other gifts.

Income fluctuates from 200-350k.

[jharkin]

HH gross a little under 250. Kids are in elementary/still believe in Santa.

My family is not into extensive gift giving, but my wife’s family is (and some of her relatives are the type who will not so subtly calculate and compare and you better not give a less expensive gift than you where given... sigh)

I *try* to keep it modest and always tell my wife and her family that I don’t need much/anything (a subtle hint to tone it down) but they just misinterpret that as passive aggressive and get angry at me. So we always end up overspending.. at least a grand on the kids typically, $50-100 per adult sibling, $100+ per parent.

My eyes pop at how much other families around here spend, even the ones on blue collar incomes. Must be carrying some hefty MasterCard balances...

[Monsterflockster]

Not much at all, actually.

This year it will be just under $300

My wife and I do not exchange gifts.

*We spent roughly $65 on our daughter
*Two nephews - $20 total
*Wife's parents - $25
*My dad and his wife - $30
*Neighbor Kid - $10
*Sister in Law - $15
*11 direct reports at work + daughter's teacher - $75 Total
*Admin Assistant - $50 (this is essentially mandated by work)

We do shop all year and score really great deals on Slickdeals. Normal price on those items is significantly higher.

Dang, neighbor kid getting as much as the nephews. Guess it’s better than the wife getting nothing.

I’m all for not going crazy but dang... sometimes you bogleheads are on another level.

[Dottie57]

I spend about $350 total - friends and family. Small family and 2 friends that I give gifts to.

[matti]

I suspect my wife and I will spend about $250 in total. We don't have kids, FWIW. We usually buy each other something and we'll likely buy a small gift for brothers and sisters, etc.

[runner3081]

Not much at all, actually.

This year it will be just under $300

My wife and I do not exchange gifts.

*We spent roughly $65 on our daughter
*Two nephews - $20 total
*Wife's parents - $25
*My dad and his wife - $30
*Neighbor Kid - $10
*Sister in Law - $15
*11 direct reports at work + daughter's teacher - $75 Total
*Admin Assistant - $50 (this is essentially mandated by work)

We do shop all year and score really great deals on Slickdeals. Normal price on those items is significantly higher.

Dang, neighbor kid getting as much as the nephews. Guess it’s better than the wife getting nothing.

I’m all for not going crazy but dang... sometimes you bogleheads are on another level.

Gift for nephews was a Nintendo Switch family membership, paid $19.99 on Black Friday, it sells for $34.99 the rest of the year.

[sailaway]

We normally buy two plane tickets and token gifts, with each household sharing a gift. As nieces and nephews move out into their own homes, we might need to just sail over the horizon and ignore Christmas.

[BernardShakey]

About 1.25% of annual gross.

[oldfort]

Not much at all, actually.

This year it will be just under $300

My wife and I do not exchange gifts.

*We spent roughly $65 on our daughter
*Two nephews - $20 total
*Wife's parents - $25
*My dad and his wife - $30
*Neighbor Kid - $10
*Sister in Law - $15
*11 direct reports at work + daughter's teacher - $75 Total
*Admin Assistant - $50 (this is essentially mandated by work)

We do shop all year and score really great deals on Slickdeals. Normal price on those items is significantly higher.

Dang, neighbor kid getting as much as the nephews. Guess it’s better than the wife getting nothing.

I’m all for not going crazy but dang... sometimes you bogleheads are on another level.

Devil's advocate. Christmas and Hanukkah are religious holidays. If someone doesn't subscribe to those faiths and the kids are old enough to stop believing in Santa Claus, then what's the purpose of the gift exchange?

[JDCarpenter]

Retired (61&60), choosing to have income that fills the 24% bracket for married filing jointly.

Giving each of our 3 kids $5000 this year.

And chip in equally with our sibs for parents' gifts to the total tune of another $200.

[UpperNwGuy]

I come from a large family, and if I wanted to, I could give gifts to 20 or 25 family members. But I don't. I limit my giving to my three children and two grandchildren, all of whom live far from me. Locally I give gifts to the family who usually hosts me for Christmas Eve dinner each year and to another family who usually hosts me for Christmas Day dinner. The total spend varies between $700 and $1000. I really think gift-giving has spun out of control over my lifetime, and I would be happy to see it diminish. I always feel awkward when people ask me what I want, and I usually tell them that I have everything I need or want, so just a token gift will be fine.

[musicmom]

We're recently retired.
Not sure what our income is, still playing with IRA monthly distributions.
Two grown kids, one DIL, two of us.

Spend maybe $1000 total.
Some years a new bass or guitar seems to join our family and that amount jumps a bit.

Interested to hear suggestions on gifting staff. Our DD has a longtime fulltime caregiver. We've given $200-250 in previous years. Considering twice that this year. Its been such an incredibly difficult year for about everyone, caregivers even more so?
Does this make sense?

[2tall4economy]

I’m curious how much $ people in this group spend on gifts over the holidays. Also, if there is anything interesting about how you do gifts. (No gifts, experiences only, splurge on certain people, etc)

For me ~$3,500

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

Wow.

I do $100 per kid, maybe. $100 for my brothers, $100 for wife siblings and like ~$30 for her siblings kids. Unlimited for the wife but then that's sort of how it works day to day anyway.

[2tall4economy]

I’m curious how much $ people in this group spend on gifts over the holidays. Also, if there is anything interesting about how you do gifts. (No gifts, experiences only, splurge on certain people, etc)

For me ~$3,500

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

Wow.

I do $100 per kid, maybe. $100 for my brothers, $100 for wife siblings and like ~$30 for her siblings kids. Unlimited for the wife but then that's sort of how it works day to day anyway.

[AerialWombat]

I just wrote a $5,000 check to a scholarship fund. This is my fifth year doing so, to a different scholarship fund each year.

That is all.

I refuse to participate in traditional American gifting practices, either as giver or recipient. I am downright militant about my stance on gifts, to the point where it’s an issue with family. I refuse to attend holiday gatherings anymore because people fail to understand my position on gifts.

[Katietsu]

Nothing on each other specifically as a gift. But we often end up buying for ourselves just because we are spending time looking at deals and in stores.

$1000-$2500 on about a dozen family members. There is a wide because we do not stick to a set amount. Instead we have a range for each person and try to even it out over time. But Xmas is the only substantial gifts we give during year so gifting should be less than 1%.

This year may be different. I have family members that may be hit hard financially over the next few months as Covid impacts their incomes. We have only taken a hit with a reduced employer retirement contribution. Unless there is another round of stimulus checks, I will likely make cash gifts above and beyond to both individuals and my local food bank.

[MrJones]

I'm very heartened to see several posts talk about no-gift agreements. Very sensible. The holidays have become extremely commercialized IMHO. It seems like most gifts are never actually appreciated or used. Worse, they can occupy space and sit in a closet or garage forever.

Many gifts sold involve some kind of injustice if one examines the chain of origin closely enough (child labor, low wages, keeping workers uneducated, overworked, pollution, environmental concerns, sustainability, etc). When I think about all the suffering that's gone into many products, exchanging said products with people casually just because everyone has been bring Western to believing that that's what is to be done seems unfair to the sufferers.

I give or contribute to gift cards for the people at work who get the smallest piece of the pie (janitors, blue collar workers), and try to give gift cards to stores like Target so they can get whatever they need including groceries. But I don't exchange gifts with anyone who is fine financially.

[Workaholic]

Maybe $2K or so. Getting my mom a new iPad and wife's parents a Roomba. Daughter gets whatever she wants and so does my wife. I'm pretty content so not sure what my DW has planned.

[Workaholic]

I just wrote a $5,000 check to a scholarship fund. This is my fifth year doing so, to a different scholarship fund each year.

That is all.

I refuse to participate in traditional American gifting practices, either as giver or recipient. I am downright militant about my stance on gifts, to the point where it’s an issue with family. I refuse to attend holiday gatherings anymore because people fail to understand my position on gifts.

I can understand and appreciate your stance but if it's to the point where it is causing friction in your family...why not just swallow your pride and participate? Even if it isn't your cup of tea, sometimes placating others over something minute (especially parents/siblings) is the best gift of all.

[MDfan]

Probably about $2k total on kids (3), wife, me, parents, and nieces and nephews. That's not including charitable donations (probably around $1k) and our house cleaner (usually double her December payment, especially this year).

[IMD801]

About $1k total, maybe slightly more this year. No big ticket items, just a lot of recipients. I'm not big on gifts but I play along to keep the peace for the most part.

[MrJones]

For those so inclined:
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/21/opin ... guide.html

[deserat]

Interesting thread with the different viewpoints and monetary levels.

I live overseas now and when I was in the USA traveled a lot around the world, so during the year I pick up useful gifts when I travel like calendars or tea towels with a cultural theme of the travel site for Christmas time for certain members of my family...I don't feel compelled, just want to be able to share and they've always been delighted and ask to stay on my list for those types of gifts.

This year has been fraught with many deaths of friends and family, so most gifting has been done as in memoriams to their charities, etc. I also have some dear friends who are crafters like me, so I crocheted a couple of afghans and small gifts such as handwarmers or potholders. I have a staff of six and they are getting small boxes of chocolate.

I would estimate I probably spend about $250 or so over the year plus the time to crochet the afghans (not trivial as I do intricate designs) - this year that will jump due to the larger memorial gifts.

I'm thinking of doing larger gifts to scholarship funds as a new tradition going forward. I will still probably pick up tea towels or calendars from my travels as small gifts, but want to shift to even more practical as I grow older. I prefer to give gifts that are practical as well as artistic.

My father sends me an Amazon gift card every year either for $100 or $200 - it's a running joke, but I love it. I savor trying to figure out what I will buy with the gift card and try to only buy something that I really want but wouldn't necessarily splurge on - it brings a smile to my face as I think of the anticipation Plus the gift is from my favorite person, so the sentimental value is even higher.

[sean.mcgrath]

I’m curious how much $ people in this group spend on gifts over the holidays. Also, if there is anything interesting about how you do gifts. (No gifts, experiences only, splurge on certain people, etc)

For me ~$3,500

$1,000 - 2 young kids
$1,000 - on myself and wife
$1,500 - on people/donations outside the immediate family

Kids: $150 - 200 each
Spouse: $100

That's it. Kids also get similar a amount from Grandparent.

[sean.mcgrath]

Stating your income is also kind of important. We gross 320k and spent about 3000. 1000 on each other and 1000 immediate family. No kids

I get what you're saying, but tend to disagree. Over a period of income growing 10x, gift amounts have grown modestly.

[TomatoTomahto]

My father sends me an Amazon gift card every year either for $100 or $200 - it's a running joke, but I love it. I savor trying to figure out what I will buy with the gift card and try to only buy something that I really want but wouldn't necessarily splurge on - it brings a smile to my face as I think of the anticipation Plus the gift is from my favorite person, so the sentimental value is even higher.

Thank you for reminding us that even a recurring “cash” gift can kindle warm thoughts.

[ddurrett896]

Devil's advocate. Christmas and Hanukkah are religious holidays. If someone doesn't subscribe to those faiths and the kids are old enough to stop believing in Santa Claus, then what's the purpose of the gift exchange?

Tradition and the joy we get watching our children still get excited to wake up early and open gifts.

[dsmil]

We spend $1k. Probably $500 on our kids, $400 on other family members, and $100 on ourselves.

[BrooklynInvest]

My wife loooooves christmas. We're thankful to have done well of late so we treat ourselves a bit at the holidays but always buy gifts the other one wants - no expensive surprises.

That said, we're not doing too much for the baby. One or two toys to open, a couple of books for us to read to him and, I'm sure, some clothes from grandma. Then we'll donate to a food bank in his name.

[VoiceOfReason]

For our family

$500 for immediate family
$500 for extended
$100-200 for friends

We give to charities throughout the year. Some years this is more than others, but not like other families that seem to hold off on big purchases until the end of year and call it a Christmas present.

The responses to this thread have been interesting. Given the countless threads I see in the personal finance section about buying vacation homes, gift tax questions where the answer is to gift your child/spouse $15k x 4 each year, and generally the wealth on this board I have to say I'm surprised to not see a splattering of much much higher figures. Perhaps once the thread was moved to the consumer issues section it had a different audience...

In terms of the above quote, I do fall into that category. I tend to fill much of the gifts under the tree with things that were going to be purchased regardless of the holiday. (snow gear for the kids, running shoes that need to be replaced 3 times a year, etc). Most recently a 13 year old TV that was starting to break in August, instead of replacing it then I waited and put under the tree.

[RXfiles]

For our family

$500 for immediate family
$500 for extended
$100-200 for friends

We give to charities throughout the year. Some years this is more than others, but not like other families that seem to hold off on big purchases until the end of year and call it a Christmas present.

The responses to this thread have been interesting. Given the countless threads I see in the personal finance section about buying vacation homes, gift tax questions where the answer is to gift your child/spouse $15k x 4 each year, and generally the wealth on this board I have to say I'm surprised to not see a splattering of much much higher figures. Perhaps once the thread was moved to the consumer issues section it had a different audience...

In terms of the above quote, I do fall into that category. I tend to fill much of the gifts under the tree with things that were going to be purchased regardless of the holiday. (snow gear for the kids, running shoes that need to be replaced 3 times a year, etc). Most recently a 13 year old TV that was starting to break in August, instead of replacing it then I waited and put under the tree.

Seems like it's become a competition to see how spends the lowest percent of income on themselves and their family. I guess there's people that save 95% of their income. People acting like my 3k frivolous when I literally save over 50% of my 300k yearly income.

[London]

For our family

$500 for immediate family
$500 for extended
$100-200 for friends

We give to charities throughout the year. Some years this is more than others, but not like other families that seem to hold off on big purchases until the end of year and call it a Christmas present.

The responses to this thread have been interesting. Given the countless threads I see in the personal finance section about buying vacation homes, gift tax questions where the answer is to gift your child/spouse $15k x 4 each year, and generally the wealth on this board I have to say I'm surprised to not see a splattering of much much higher figures. Perhaps once the thread was moved to the consumer issues section it had a different audience...

In terms of the above quote, I do fall into that category. I tend to fill much of the gifts under the tree with things that were going to be purchased regardless of the holiday. (snow gear for the kids, running shoes that need to be replaced 3 times a year, etc). Most recently a 13 year old TV that was starting to break in August, instead of replacing it then I waited and put under the tree.

Seems like it's become a competition to see how spends the lowest percent of income on themselves and their family. I guess there's people that save 95% of their income. People acting like my 3k frivolous when I literally save over 50% of my 300k yearly income.

Welcome to bogleheads. Money is only to be viewed in a Vaguard statement. All other topics on spending will be a contest to see who can put up the lowest number.

[flyingaway]

What is the definition of gifts? Things that you don't need and others may not need, but you still want to buy.

$0.00

[WhiteMaxima]

Zero. I don't expect gifts nor give gifts.