Ring for a new girlfriend

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
MotoTrojan
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by MotoTrojan »

Watty wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:02 pm
Sandtrap wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 5:35 pm Don't go overboard. Scares away the fish.
+1

And it sort of creates the expectation that she will spend a similar amount on a gift for you.

If this early planning for something like Christmas then she may have already bought you a much less expensive gift for you and that could also be more than a little awkward.

If this is for a Christmas gift then you might consider talking with her about Christmas gifts and maybe set an approximate dollar amount. Being able to talk about things like this is a type of intimacy that might help the relationship develop.
The communication aspect of this is amazing advice. I still talk out $ with my wife so expectations are aligned. Only acceptable deviation for us are gifted vacations.
Dottie57
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Dottie57 »

I like this necklace ver much

https://lightboxjewelry.com/products/ne ... ndant-blue

Man made diamonds.

I think I would stay away from a ring - Which is usually an engagement ring.
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Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

Taylor Larimore wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 4:13 pm
runner540 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 3:27 pm$1000 won't get much from Tiffany. Suggest Blue Nile or Brilliant Earth, or a local non chain jeweler
runner540:

Your post reminds me of a similar time shortly after being drafted for WWII in 1941. I wanted to buy my girlfriend a ring. I knew that an emerald represented her birthday. I was in New York and looking in the store windows in Times-Square for green emerald rings. There were lots of them at a low price I could afford.

I had heard about TIffany so I went to 5th avenue and visited their store. I asked the well-dressed salesman to see their emerald rings. I was in my new Army uniform. The salesman looked at me and asked how much I could afford to pay? I remember saying, "up to $50."

Instead of laughing,* the salesman told me that "real" emeralds (not glass) are much more than $50. He suggest a small opal ring which I bought and gave to Barbara (she married another guy).

* I will never forget his kindness.

Best wishes.
Taylor
Jack Bogle's Words of Wisdom: "The great game of life is not about money; it is about doing your best to join the battle to build anew ourselves, our communities, our nation, and our world."
Thank you very much for sharing this!
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Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

MortgageOnBlack wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 4:21 pm If you and her are both Apple users and don’t have the Apple Watch, how about “His and Hers Apple Watch”?
:shock: :annoyed :confused
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Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
phxjcc
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by phxjcc »

Get yourself to the jewelry district in a large city.

Forget the "luxury" brands, they are selling the name.

For that amount of money you can get something REALLY nice in the Jewelry Mart for at least 40% off retail--especially the Zales/Jared/Kay type of crap.

When you give her a big piece of ice or colored stones, trust me--he friends will oooh and ahhh at it and not the box. And think how clever you are to be a good shopper with connections in the "biz".

If you are in L.A. metro PM me, I'll give you my guy's name and number.
sd323232
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by sd323232 »

be cafeul with ring lol, she may think you popping the question and may get mad at non engagement ring lololol
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Cyclesafe
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Cyclesafe »

Definitely shop together. You'll learn a lot about each other really fast. If she pushes for something unreasonable, you can next her right there in the store. Saves both time AND money.
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BUBear29
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by BUBear29 »

Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no one independence quite so important, as living within your means.
7eight9
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by 7eight9 »

Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
There is always Van Cleef & Arpels is you want real nice --- https://www.vancleefarpels.com/us/en/se ... 1633962764
Last edited by 7eight9 on Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I guess it all could be much worse. | They could be warming up my hearse.
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Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
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wabbajack
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by wabbajack »

phxjcc wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:58 pm Get yourself to the jewelry district in a large city.

Forget the "luxury" brands, they are selling the name.

For that amount of money you can get something REALLY nice in the Jewelry Mart for at least 40% off retail--especially the Zales/Jared/Kay type of crap.

When you give her a big piece of ice or colored stones, trust me--he friends will oooh and ahhh at it and not the box. And think how clever you are to be a good shopper with connections in the "biz".

If you are in L.A. metro PM me, I'll give you my guy's name and number.
This +1.

My story happened last year be Los Angeles. I wanted to get my then-girlfriend (now engaged) jewelry because I was in town for a work trip that extended into a fun weekend. I went through dozens of stores and counters in the diamond district in LA looking for something appropriate for our then ~6 month relationship. I spent 2 hours browsing through hundreds of sets of crappy earrings, until I finally spotted a pair of blue topaz earrings that had a definite WOW factor.

Here's what I mean. When I went to a jewelry counter and told them I wanted X stone earrings, they typically brought me the exact stone I was asking for glued onto a gold plated stick. They were all the same. After hearing 3 different prices from different vendors on identical pieces, I figured out the numbers were all made up. One place went as far as to offer me the luxury of PICKING the stones that they would then place into a setting of my choice. You don't want that.

What you want is a piece that someone has already made but nobody has bought. Like a pair of giant stones placed with in a halo of diamonds. What did I pay for this beauty? $800 - tax included. The seller made a whole show of how I was basically robbing him and that he hadn't sold anything all day. This experience alone of how to navigate the slimy world of jewelry was worth it. When it came time to buy the engagement ring, we had it custom made together.
wallygator
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by wallygator »

BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO RIIIING! Your nuts! sorry
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wander
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by wander »

I didn't think about getting a ring until we decided to get marriage. I proposed without a ring. :D
pomomojo
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by pomomojo »

7eight9 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:46 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
There is always Van Cleef & Arpels is you want real nice --- https://www.vancleefarpels.com/us/en/se ... 1633962764
There is nothing worthwhile for under 2-3k at VC & A
The entry level pendants for 1.5k are really small
Patzer
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Patzer »

Ring is a bad idea.

First year jewelry gift to my now partner of 10 years was a diamond tennis bracelet. $1000 should get you something nice, if you shop around for a sale.
She loved it, and enjoyed showing it off to her friends, co-workers, and family, but once it had made the rounds, it sits in a jewelry box most of the time. Occasionally, it gets to come out for a trip to the symphony.
I still think it was worth it though, but it raised my standing with the people she interacted with, and I think it reinforced with her that I was serious about her.

Now that I know her better (she just doesn't care to be that flashy) I get her a new necklace every 3-6 months, usually not diamonds, but something that is meaningful to her, like an Otter after a great visit to the Aquarium. Those get a lot more use, are appreciated just as much as the the expensive stuff I got her early on, and are usually only around $100.

And I assure you, I am not being cheap, I occasionally let her catch me looking at some expensive jewelry that I would love to buy her, and she will tell me something to the effect of, "What are you doing, if you want to spend that much money on something for me, renovate that bathroom".
Thegame14
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Thegame14 »

I wouldnt get a ring unless it is engagement ring, she will think that is what it is when she sees it. You could go necklace, bracelet, just 100% avoid a ring.
Thegame14
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Thegame14 »

Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
7eight9
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by 7eight9 »

If she smokes a nice lighter would be an excellent present - one that she would use every day.

Cartier lighters --- https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collectio ... hters.html
I guess it all could be much worse. | They could be warming up my hearse.
EnjoyIt
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by EnjoyIt »

7eight9 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:37 am If she smokes a nice lighter would be an excellent present - one that she would use every day.

Cartier lighters --- https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collectio ... hters.html
I’m sorry but I believe that this is a horrible gift that incentivized or reinforces a horrible addiction.
A time to EVALUATE your jitters: | https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=79939&start=400#p5275418
Thegame14
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Thegame14 »

EnjoyIt wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 11:01 am
7eight9 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:37 am If she smokes a nice lighter would be an excellent present - one that she would use every day.

Cartier lighters --- https://www.cartier.com/en-us/collectio ... hters.html
I’m sorry but I believe that this is a horrible gift that incentivized or reinforces a horrible addiction.
+1
Kelrex
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Kelrex »

Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:33 am
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
I don't necessarily agree with this.

We don't know what their relationship is like. We don't know if they've already talked about marriage, or what any of the expectations are.

OP hasn't answered anyone's comments or questions about how his GF might feel about a non proposal ring, but sounds quite confident in his decision to go ahead with it despite dozens of protests from strangers on the internet.

He doesn't have to explain himself or answer questions, but his confidence in the face of pretty direct criticism leads me to give him the benefit of the doubt that he might know his own relationship better than we do.

Not all women react the same way to being given a ring before getting engaged. I can attest to personal experience on this front.

OP has been warned that this might be delicate territory. I think it's safe to say that he is well aware, and still thinks it's a good idea.

OP, the only caution I will give you about Tiffany is that it's an extremely popular brand, and as such, there's a certain portion of the population that wouldn't be caught dead wearing it, even if the specific piece is stylish.

It's like a Louis Vuitton bag, not everyone wants to be a walking brand ambassador. So make sure she's a Tiffany woman before investing in that branding. I've seen Tiffany jewelry immediately regifted by women who don't *do* branded jewelry.

That's just an extension of my previous post about making sure that there's solid understanding and communication behind your decision.
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SquawkIdent
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by SquawkIdent »

Sorry, but I don’t see what the big deal is. She wants a ring and you want to buy her one, then buy her a ring. Many, many to choose from that don’t look like or “act like” an engagement ring.

It’s just a piece of jewelry after all. Just because people usually give people engagement rings means you can never buy that type of jewelry before you may do that? Ridiculous. But then again, I’m a rule breaker/bender.

Good luck.
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LilyFleur
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by LilyFleur »

just talk to her about it.
I had a boyfriend (and this was in our 50s) ask me if he could get me a "promise ring."
I responded that I would rather see if there was going to be an engagement ring in the future but I didn't want a ring yet.
He was generous with gifts--things for my house (dishwasher, kitchen table and chairs), and we always shopped together.
I am a woman who doesn't like to feel "bought," but I was grateful for birthday and Christmas gifts that made life better for me and my children.
TheNightsToCome
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by TheNightsToCome »

MotoTrojan wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 3:28 pm Can tell you from experience that giving rings as non-engagement gifts is a dangerous activity. Maybe a necklace, earrings, or bracelet would do?
Agree I'd go with the non-ring jewelry.
Kelrex
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Kelrex »

TheNightsToCome wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 4:11 pm
MotoTrojan wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 3:28 pm Can tell you from experience that giving rings as non-engagement gifts is a dangerous activity. Maybe a necklace, earrings, or bracelet would do?
Agree I'd go with the non-ring jewelry.
And on the flip side, I can say from personal experience that if expectations are clear and both parties are reasonable that giving a ring can be entirely drama free.

In addition, I'm not a huge fan of avoiding as much conflict as possible in relationships before getting married. If a serious relationship can't even handle the buying of a non engagement ring gift, what does that say about the relationship?
Last edited by Kelrex on Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
yules
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by yules »

whodidntante wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 5:28 pm Cut your price target by a third and then go to Costco.
Then OP can buy rings in bulk for the next few girlfriends. Smart.
yules
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by yules »

Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:33 am
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
Your cultural and/or generational bias is showing! As is that of many other posters here. Who says that a ring is loaded with meaning and expectation of a deeper committed relationship? Conversely, who says that a similarly expensive necklace or bracelet wouldn’t be interpreted in the same way? Do you know the OP personally or the girlfriend?

OP came here to ask for ring recommendations for a ring, not recommendations on whether a ring is a good idea. Let’s trust the OP to make OP’s own decisions.

Good luck, OP!
Yules
Housedoc
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Housedoc »

I bought my wife a Ruby ring when we were dating. Her birth stone. I gave it to her at Christmas, stuck it inside a small box that had a candle in it. We just celebrated 30yrs. Sam's club and Costco have many beautiful jewelry items. Great return policy. Buy what you want. Everyone has an opinion and you need to buck up and quit asking what to do. Reminds me of a joke about taking brother along on honeymoon but I will use good judgement and not share here.
sport
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by sport »

yules wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 5:55 pm
whodidntante wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 5:28 pm Cut your price target by a third and then go to Costco.
Then OP can buy rings in bulk for the next few girlfriends. Smart.
I hope this comment was in jest. However, in case it was serious, Costco jewelry is sold with a quantity of "one". BTW, this is also true for clothing.
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SquawkIdent
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by SquawkIdent »

Kelrex wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 5:43 pm
TheNightsToCome wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 4:11 pm
MotoTrojan wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 3:28 pm Can tell you from experience that giving rings as non-engagement gifts is a dangerous activity. Maybe a necklace, earrings, or bracelet would do?
Agree I'd go with the non-ring jewelry.
And on the flip side, I can say from personal experience that if expectations are clear and both parties are reasonable that giving a ring can be entirely drama free.

In addition, I'm not a huge fan of avoiding as much conflict as possible in relationships before getting married. If a serious relationship can't even handle the buying of a non engagement ring gift, what does that say about the relationship?
+1
Thegame14
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Thegame14 »

yules wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:02 pm
Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:33 am
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
Your cultural and/or generational bias is showing! As is that of many other posters here. Who says that a ring is loaded with meaning and expectation of a deeper committed relationship? Conversely, who says that a similarly expensive necklace or bracelet wouldn’t be interpreted in the same way? Do you know the OP personally or the girlfriend?

OP came here to ask for ring recommendations for a ring, not recommendations on whether a ring is a good idea. Let’s trust the OP to make OP’s own decisions.

Good luck, OP!
Yules
Then OP should just do whatever [(removed) --admin LadyGeek] he wants and not ask for an opinion, since a ring is 100% related to engagement or marriage in USA which is where this site is hosted.....
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Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 11:29 pm
yules wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:02 pm
Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:33 am
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm

Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
Your cultural and/or generational bias is showing! As is that of many other posters here. Who says that a ring is loaded with meaning and expectation of a deeper committed relationship? Conversely, who says that a similarly expensive necklace or bracelet wouldn’t be interpreted in the same way? Do you know the OP personally or the girlfriend?

OP came here to ask for ring recommendations for a ring, not recommendations on whether a ring is a good idea. Let’s trust the OP to make OP’s own decisions.

Good luck, OP!
Yules
Then OP should just do whatever [(removed) --admin LadyGeek] he wants and not ask for an opinion, since a ring is 100% related to engagement or marriage in USA which is where this site is hosted.....
True, but I never mentioned me/girlfriend is american :sharebeer
Topic Author
Pomegranate
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Re: Ring for a new girlfriend

Post by Pomegranate »

yules wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 6:02 pm
Thegame14 wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:33 am
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 10:28 pm
BUBear29 wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:43 pm
Pomegranate wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:36 pm From all the brands mentioned here I heard about tiffany and cartier before. I checked all the links and WOW - most of the rings from tiffany looks like from another planet in comparison with others. Rare example when the brand matters :sharebeer
Wait...are you still looking for a ring?!

:oops:
No I changed my mind in favor of apple watch of course :mrgreen:
sounds like you are being sarcastic, but a ring is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should get her unless you are proposing. Apple watch sounds like a GREAT gift, but again sounds like you are being sarcastic, which is odd because you are 100% wrong....
Your cultural and/or generational bias is showing! As is that of many other posters here. Who says that a ring is loaded with meaning and expectation of a deeper committed relationship? Conversely, who says that a similarly expensive necklace or bracelet wouldn’t be interpreted in the same way? Do you know the OP personally or the girlfriend?

OP came here to ask for ring recommendations for a ring, not recommendations on whether a ring is a good idea. Let’s trust the OP to make OP’s own decisions.

Good luck, OP!
Yules
This!
Thank you :sharebeer !
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