Help/Advice with Decluttering

[WilliamRice]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

[ResearchMed]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Ouch!
We are facing this soon, but when we will be downsizing, with several decades more of "stuff".
If you can start now, you'll be SO far ahead of the game!

Good luck!

RM

[mega317]

If they are sitting beautifully, you don't need the space and aren't moving, it doesn't sound like clutter to me.

[123]

My feeling is that the more you declutter and dispose of stuff the easier it gets. One of the best defenses is to seriously consider the real need of purpose of any item you think about adding to your household. If you don't bring an item into your household you'll never have to face the issue of when/how to get rid of it.

Decluttering is like weight management, exercising restraint about what you take into your body is easier than going on periodic diet or exercise binges.

[runner3081]

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Stuff is not important.

I am fortunate to have discovered that in my 30's.

[setancre]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Watch the Marie Kondo shows on Netflix.

[tyrion]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

I would mentally frame it as 'passing it on to someone new who can enjoy it' rather than 'losing something of value'. If it's really important to you, then keep it. If it's not, consider that it may be a treasure to someone else.

[JimInIllinois]

Selling them now to someone who you know wants them will be much easier than donating or recycling them later.

[Leemiller]

I have a weakness for books myself, but I highly recommend reading everything that remains by the minimalists. They also have a podcast.

[ScaledWheel]

I like a bankers box approach. If you have something you think you might want, put it in a bankers box, label the box with what’s inside and the date. If after a year you don’t have a great desire to get at whatever is in the box, it can probably be donated.

This assumes you have somewhere to store these boxes that is out of site and mind.

[Yinks]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Watch the Marie Kondo shows on Netflix.

+1

[Pigeon]

I would focus on considering myself fortunate to have found an interested buyer for these. Collecting stuff is much less appealing to younger people, and many "collectible" things have declined significantly in value.

I try to keep in mind some examples from my own life. My parents were pretty good about downsizing and decluttering as they got older. They sold their house and moved into an apartment, and gave the kids an opportunity to take stuff if they wanted it, but then got rid of what was left. When they died, cleaning out the apartment was pretty painless.

My ILs, on the other hand, got rid of nothing. They weren't hoarders, they just had a large house full of stuff. My FIL collected worthless sets of Franklin Mint stamps and coins for many years. They had tons of photos of relatives, many unidentified. I have come to hate family photographs. They had a bunch of old stuff, linens, dishes, etc. that were inherited from their elders, that were not particularly nice or valuable, but were old and "family things." When they died, we got saddled with a lot of this junk.

My partner has a hard time dealing with this stuff. He doesn't have much interest in it, but he moves at a snail's pace getting rid of it. It belonged to his parents so therefore he feels some obligation to it. Plus, I think he worries that he'll get rid of something valuable. I have boxes of it in my garage, attic and spare room. Frankly, I resent my ILs for not dealing with their own crap.

I've got a few smallish collections of my own that I need to deal with at some point. My kids won't want this stuff, and I refuse to burden them with it, because that's what this junk is, a burden. When I do declutter, I will admit to feeling some anxiety about getting rid of things, but a few months later, I forget the stuff ever existed.

[bob60014]

Decluttering and downsizing is very liberating. Plus the knowledge that at the time of my death, no one needs to deal with my unwanted stuff!

[Artful Dodger]

[quote=setancre post_id=5063277 time=<a href="tel:1583289332">1583289332</a> user_id=22630]
[quote=WilliamRice post_id=5063243 time=<a href="tel:1583288008">1583288008</a> user_id=15864]
I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Watch the Marie Kondo shows on Netflix.
[/quote]

+1
[/quote]

I’d recommend her book. It gives you the whole process in an organized manner, and answers a lot of questions.

I thought the shows were a good adjunct to the book. But it also seemed to me they concentrated more on people with bigger hoarding issues than the average person.

To the OP. I don’t know if you took the buyer’s offer on your graphic novels, but if not I’d think about getting a fair value established before letting them go. You may have got a quick offer because they’re going to sell them for 3 or 4 times the amount. Only you know the value of your time, but it’s something to consider.

[Mr. Rumples]

When we moved from a townhouse (with a basement and garage) into a high-rise across the county, we purged. We used the book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. The only problem was that in retrospect, we got rid of too much. I especially regret getting rid of most of the library and even some family things.

[jabberwockOG]

A big part of decluttering is understanding the reality for a lot of people with lots of accumulated items and "collections" . They don't actually own their stuff, instead it ultimately owns (and controls) them. This is especially true for hoarders or near-hoarders who are usually physically and emotionally paralyzed by all their supposedly valuable stuff.

If you haven't actively used something for a year or two, donate or sell it and move on.

[Living Free]

Get rid of them. You will feel better once they're gone. My father collected some things and we have been working for years to get rid of some of his stuff. Don't burden your heirs/survivors with junk. Don't burden your own life with it either. Are you realistically going to re-read all of those? If not then they're just very heavy decorations.

[renue74]

How I declutter (which I need to do again):

1.) Start in room 1. Look around room 1...anything I haven't touched in 1 year? Remove it to 2 piles: pile 1...throw away....pile 2...goodwill.
Don't leave room 1 until you have throughly removed what you don't need/touched in 1 year.

2.) Go to room 2 and repeat.

Every summer, I completely take everything out of my garage and start over....throwing away stuff I don't use, stuff I have 2x of, etc.

But..of course, every year it fills back up. I rehab rentals and flips and I always accumulate leftovers...paint, building materials, tools, etc.

[JupiterJones]

I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value)

I would mentally frame it as 'passing it on to someone new who can enjoy it' rather than 'losing something of value'.

Yup. The fact that someone immediately made an offer means that they're really excited and interested in getting those books. How cool is that? You get to take something that was just sitting on a shelf, doing nothing, and convert it into money for you and enjoyment for someone else.

That's some pretty nice alchemy.

And not to get too Kondo on you, but if I were one of those books, I'd probably want to be read by someone. If it helps, think it as doing those books a favor too.

[bloom2708]

Take a digital photo of the items. Then dispose.

If you feel nostalgic after getting rid of the item, find the photo and gaze at the beauty of those former items.

I had stacks and totes of books. Got rid of them all. Now when I finish a book it goes to my mom or to the thrift store immediately.

[Kennedy]

Let it go. When I'm deciding whether to keep or get rid of something, I always consider what my kids will do with my stuff when I'm gone. I don't want to burden them by feeling an obligation to keep my junk just because it belonged to me.

It's very freeing.

[zuma]

This book was a big help for me. Inspirational and practical.

Remodelista: The Organized Home: Simple, Stylish Storage Ideas for All Over the House
https://www.amazon.com/Remodelista-Orga ... 579656935/

[atomicsquirrel]

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

Stuff is not important.

I am fortunate to have discovered that in my 30's.

This^^^^^^^^^^

Stuff is just stuff.

I am going thru the same exact situation as OP. After the passing of 4 family members with decades worth of stuff, plus my own stuff from a business I find my self trying to declutter and down size before moving to another state, and much smaller home.

It find it is getting easier the more I let go of. Although when you list something and it sells super fast you may wonder if you priced it too low. Its completely the wrong mentality but it does happen. Just sell it and move on.

Some tips.... get rid of the low hanging fruit first. Sell the biggest space cramping items that you have no attachment to. Then grab all the stuff that has no value and donate, trash or place on curb for free. If you make a post on Freecycle.org, Facebook for curb pickup, stuff usually disappears fast.

It can be anxiety provoking but it is freeing at the same time. Learn to embrace the anxiety. If you truly miss something you let go of, you can always buy it back, usually on Craigslist or Ebay for cheap.

[Jack FFR1846]

This is not uncommon. You'll need to change your thinking from holding on to everything to really being motivated to move on. Take the offer. I don't even care what it was. Then move on. I tend to take things I haven't used for a year that won't absolutely be used in the future and sell them. Fairly recently, I sold my road bike that I raced all over New England, commuted on in grad school and built myself from the custom frame up in 1974. I don't ride on the road ever anymore and won't with the texting moron teenagers in Yukons in my town. So it got sold.

[AerialWombat]

I am aggressively anti-materialistic. I am the person that frets over the one frying pan that I own, and chide myself for buying a second fork and spoon last week.

The best advice I can give you for reducing clutter is to move every 6-12 months. Nothing will help you sort, prioritize, and dispose of useless junk faster than frequent moving.

That’s probably not very actionable advice for most people, but it’s what I got.

[Doodadooh]

Short version:
Consider giving away the things you don't need anymore to friends, family, neighbors or your local free-cycle. Digitize all documents, photos etc. Most important - find a way to make it fun!

Long version:
Way back when storage sheds were considered a status symbol on our street we decided to de-clutter our home in order to sell. We held a huge yard sale and someone haggled me down on the price of an acoustic guitar that a friend, who had since died from MS, gave me. It was a painful moment that led me to change my thought process. Subsequently we gave all our unwanted possessions away free to those that needed them more than us. Sure, we left money on the table but instead we gained a sense of liberation that money can't replace. From then on everything became easier and more joyful. Dark passageways in the basement became lighter and easier to pass. Windows were clear and the sun could shine in. The hob goblins in every room were set free. The house was clean and bright again. It sold above our asking price.

[Texgal17]

Decluttering and downsizing is very liberating. Plus the knowledge that at the time of my death, no one needs to deal with my unwanted stuff!

Totally agree! My siblings and I had to deal with getting rid of 30+ years of stuff from my deceased moms home. Even after having an estate sale, there was tons of stuff leftover. Eventually we had to pay someone to take it all away. Most of it just worthless junk, but my mom liked her things....So now, I have been decluttering my own possessions to prevent my kid from having to go through it. I’ve never really had problems with getting rid of stuff though, so it’s not too hard for me to do.

[senex]

Great points so far. I'll add:

1) Clutter is anything you don't need, love, or use

2) Clutter cannot be organized. It can only be eliminated.

3) You are not "losing" an item -- you are allowing it to bless someone else. It will do more good in the hands of someone who would enjoy/use it, rather than in your closet/bookshelf/garage/etc.

If you need practical tips or inspiration, predating Kondo was the Fly Lady -- very quirky (lots of ALL CAPS words etc) but surprisingly useful: https://www.amazon.com/Sink-Reflections ... B000XUBF3I

[Sandtrap]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

One of the most effective ways to "declutter" is to move from a 4000 s.f. home to a 800 s.f. luxury studio condo by the sea.

IE:
For books, not need to keep them, what's important is already in the brain.
For comics and treasures like that, pass them on for others to enjoy, thereby multiplying their value

*Tear the Bandaid off all at once. The only thing we really need on this journey are memories, experiences, contributions, personal growth, . . . and a really really fat wallet.

j

[Stick5vw]

We are dealing with this process right now for my 84 year old mother. Fortunately she is still alive and is generally in good health, but her mobility is not great - so over the summer my wife, son, and I will move back into my childhood home to keep a closer eye on her and help with chores, yard work etc. (Never thought I'd be moving back here, but c'est la vie!) But after decades of accumulation - random pieces of furniture, books, dishes, old clothes in closets etc we all realize that some stuff needs to go.

What we've seen with my mom, is the inexplicable emotional attachment she has to a lot of things, and her desire to "go through" everything before it's trashed or hang on to it while she finds "someone else to use it". If we waited for her to do this, nothing would ever go! It's been a slightly challenging process to discard things as a result. My wife and I are minimalists, and my mom is the exact opposite.

There's been a lot of good advice already. While we have to be a bit more delicate because we respect my mom and her "things", you can be more brutal. My main piece of advice is to therefore junk anything you have zero attachment to - don't be nostalgic, think hard whether something *really* matters to you and whether you really need to keep it. Rip the band-aid off indeed. Don't move things to another part of the house and say you'll deal with it later. Toss it. I highly doubt you'll miss any of this "stuff" and in fact it will be cathartic to see so much open space that is de-cluttered.

(That being said if you just have a stack of graphic novels, that is a very different thing to a 2000 sq. foot home jammed with things!)

[Vanguard Fan 1367]

I’m wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with decluttering.

I am currently trying to declutter my life - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again. They sit beautifully on a bookshelf in my office but I also realize it’s just stuff. I read mostly on my kindle and enjoy that convenience more that any other kind of reading. I’m approaching forty and am taking stock of things from a material perspective that I need and don’t need, also, I have kids but don’t ever envision them wanting to read my comics/graphic novels, different generation I suppose.

Long story short. I placed them online to sell and immediately had an offer. I was taken aback that someone wanted them and immediately had some regret/sadness that I would be getting rid of these things (even though they hold no sentimental value), and part of me wants to pull the offer and keep them but I know I haven’t looked at these things in over a year at least.

I feel like decluttering is only going to get harder and was wondering if anyone had any experience with this and how they dealt with it and if it worked out for them in the long run.

Any advice for someone getting older and taking stock of important materials in life is much appreciated.

I gained a new appreciation for the benefits of decluttering after my parents died and we had to deal with their stuff. I thought that the family might want a lot of their "stuff" but mostly there was no interest. So we threw away and gave away a lot of stuff and I took what I could to my house and added to my clutter.

A few years later I became a Boglehead. The financial benefits that I have reaped from an asset allocation of roughly 65/35 low fee index funds since 2014 has enabled me to feel like I can afford to treat myself to some decluttering. So what if some of the stuff has some value. Goodwill and other organizations hopefully can do some good with the stuff and if I find I got rid of something I might need later that is ok. In the meantime I have enjoyed a much less cluttered lifestyle.

This is coming from a guy who spent over 2000 dollars a while back to buy a storage shed. That shed mostly held things that I later got rid of.

[datadatum]

I am a fan of the "1 room at a time" approach. It isn't overwhelming, and can be done methodically. Marie Kondo's process is friendly and reassuring - especially for those that feel emotions coming on...

Over the holidays, I decluttered the "Man Room" and adjacent huge walk-in closets. It was quite a feeling of accomplishment to be able to WALK in the walk-in closets!

[veindoc]

It gets easier. Believe me.

I have been decluttering items with a professional organizer for the last six months. Kids artwork, craft supplies, odds and ends that people can use but I don’t use, items in the garage and basement that were placed when we moved but never dealt with, etc. At first it was difficult and I even got annoyed when I had to repeat to the organizer that I wanted to keep an item. I was like what’s it to her if I want to hold on to this manual for the dvd player. But over time I learned to question myself: do you really want this? The hardest part was wanting to control the fate of the item I discarded. Would the next owner appreciate it? If it went to donation would someone buy it?

I knew how much progress I had made when I discarded a whole drawer of beautifully organized scrubs that I had acquired from all the various hospitals I had worked at. It was a timeline of medical school to residency to attending hood.

My first thought when I re-encountered it was why am I wasting a drawer on this stuff. Let me get rid of it. People love scrubs. It will be gone in a second on freecycle. Then a very small twinge of, wow look where I have been and what I have done since the first time I put these on. And then the feeling was gone a second later and I was pleased to have a drawer again to store things that were still important to me in my life right now.

[mega317]

I would never get rid of my scrubs from old hospitals!
Perhaps I need some help.

[Rus In Urbe]

bloom2708
Take a digital photo of the items. Then dispose.
If you feel nostalgic after getting rid of the item, find the photo and gaze at the beauty of those former items.
I had stacks and totes of books. Got rid of them all. Now when I finish a book it goes to my mom or to the thrift store immediately.

+1
When my mother passed away, years ago, there were some nostalgic things I really didn't want to own, but wanted to remember. I took photos. I'm using the same method as I (now recently retired) begin going through our home. Photos really help, allowing you to let go of the thing but keep the memory.

[legio XX]

... - Iam starting with my comics and graphic novels. I have a lot graphic novels that I have read but will probably never re-read again.

I sold almost all of mine 17-18 years ago. I kept only those I had a personal connection to - like a story that I wrote or an artist whose work I have on the wall. The interest in these books, that were not archived but just sitting on the shelves, was gratifying and enjoyably spent. I have only once gone to a specialized collection to look at something I sold (a Barry Smith Conan). The memories are fine, thank you. Sell if there's no reason to keep them.

This isn't necessarily rational. I have kept some weird things like a ring that belonged to my stepfather - we never got along but I like and sometime wear the ring - and a very old photo of a distant relative I never met - the kid looks like me. Go figger.

As Mari Kondo says - keep what gives you joy. Weird, but she has me sorting my socks and hanging shirts according to color . . . All things in moderation.

[JupiterJones]

Decluttering and downsizing is very liberating. Plus the knowledge that at the time of my death, no one needs to deal with my unwanted stuff!

Reminds me of something the Swedes call "döstädning" or "death cleaning":

https://www.realsimple.com/home-organiz ... h-cleaning

[Caduceus]

You could keep some of your favorite graphic novels. One of the things I did when I was decluttering was that if things were of sentimental value to me, I'd choose to keep one of a type, one of an event, and then take photos of the rest.

I had a lot of childhood toys - I kept just a couple that still bring a smile to my face and they remind me that in some ways, I'll always be a kid. The rest I gave away to charities.

I found it revealing to begin with the premise of asking myself what I'd rather keep first. If you're asked point-blank, without being able to see any of your possessions, what are the things most important to you? What would you say? Work around that. It was easy for me to figure our by asking some questions of myself what really mattered to me and what didn't. I think I got rid of 95% of my books (I read on the Kindle so physical books don't make sense). I got rid of 50% of my clothes, and 90% of my non-essential papers (I kept only things related to family history and tax documents, etc.)

But I'm a very sentimental person, so I do have maybe four boxes filled with things from my past. When I'm ready to part with them, they will go, but until then, these things ground me and were/are a part of my story, so I'm alright holding on to them.