Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

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imsomeguy
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Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by imsomeguy »

We have 3 kids (ages 8, 5 & 3) and moved out to the Midwest 7 years ago. We are somewhat settled but it has never quite felt like home, we are both east coasters and left all of our friends and family behind. And even when we moved here we always said that we could move back. The stars have aligned employment wise and now we have the opening so at least we'll both be employed and could make this work better than anytime in the past. We realize the cost involved (might take a bath on our house), traffic/congestion, lifestyle change and everything - but kinda feel like this would be the easiest logistical time to make this move.

Someone give me a sign that this is the right move? Cousins will all be closer, family/friends closer, the only time my wife feels at home is when she is walking around NYC and I love it too although unlikely we'll live in the city. This move makes sense right?
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Swansea »

NJ is one of the highest states measured by exodus of people relocating. The reasons for many are the tax burden and fiscal stability of the state. Just something to consider.
Mr. Rumples
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Mr. Rumples »

Random thoughts: My father was from the south, my mother was from NYC. They met right after WW2 in NYC, but the business was in VA and so they moved south. NYC was always in her heart and soul until the day she died. I think there was a bit of sadness and even depression at not ever really having felt at home here. On the other hand, I clearly remember on a drive into Manhattan fighting the terrible traffic my father saying "Now I remember why we moved."

There is no right answer. After my husband died, had I stayed in CO, my net worth would be a lot more than it is now, but I never really connected there and so I moved back and there is a lot to be said, at least in my case, for being near family.
decapod10
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by decapod10 »

I know nothing about Fair Lawn, NJ. However, it is nice living closer to family. My parents live about an hour from us, so our kids get to see their grandparents relatively frequently. They also help out if we have any child care emergencies, which is also nice. It seems like you enjoy living on the East Coast more than the midwest as well just based on what you are saying (despite the traffic). So if the finances work out, probably worth at least considering moving.
Last edited by decapod10 on Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Normchad
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Normchad »

BonJovi is from NJ and write a song about going home; maybe that’s your sign.

This board is all about money. The benefits you’d get from moving back are non- monetary, but could be hugely important to your family, happiness, and well being.

It is one of my few regrets in life that my kids grew up in an area away from all the relatives. It’s a big deal, I think.
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HueyLD
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by HueyLD »

No, you are not crazy at all.

Moving to where one belongs is more than a financial choice. You need to make a decision that’s best for you and your family.

Best of luck to you.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by somekevinguy »

Not exactly the same but close-ish. My wife and I are both from CA and were out in a great city in the midwest 6 years with 2 kids (age 2 and newborn). While we liked the city and our jobs, and cost of living was less than half of what it now is, we moved back to CA (the VVHCOL Bay Area to be specific), and have never regretted it. We are closer to family and feel more at "home." Yes, our finances would have been much much better in the midwest and perhaps we could have FIRE'd even 5-10 years earlier but the feeling of home, the kids growing up close to their grandparents etc, all made it more than worth it. Finding employment that makes sense for both of you could be interpreted as the "sign" but really, the fact that you're both looking for employment there in the first place and the gut feeling of home are probably both as good. Obviously, my conclusion would be to do it based on what you've written.
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imsomeguy
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by imsomeguy »

Swansea wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:10 am NJ is one of the highest states measured by exodus of people relocating. The reasons for many are the tax burden and fiscal stability of the state. Just something to consider.
Yea I hear ya, but right now I'm in Chicago. Schools, violence, tax situation etc - it ain't all rosy hear either
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by fru-gal »

Family is family. I regret several things in my life, and living away from family is one of them.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by anon_investor »

How much is happiness worth? I would do it.
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cashboy
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by cashboy »

imsomeguy wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 10:59 am This move makes sense right?
only you can answer that question (and i mean that in a nice way).

if you are not aware, Fair Lawn is one of the most expensive and congested areas of NJ to live in
AND
NJ is one of the most expensive states to live in - property taxes as an example
AND
NJ has major financial issues like pension debt (it might be one of the worst cases in the nation).

i would not intentionally move to NJ, and if i did it would not be to Fair Lawn.

but, if you do decide to move, best of luck to you!

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jb1
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by jb1 »

Born and raised in NJ and all though I love saying I’m from there, I would never move back. I live in coastal NC now.

-no snow
-cheap housing
-nicer weather
-everything overall cheaper.
HomeStretch
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by HomeStretch »

It’s a personal decision. Being close to family and happy in one’s home/city can be priceless. Your kids are young enough to adapt well to the move. As long as any negative financial consequences aren’t significant, base your decision on what you and your family want to do rather than whether it’s the very best financial decision. Best of luck!
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Tdubs »

Normchad wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:22 am BonJovi is from NJ and write a song about going home; maybe that’s your sign.

This board is all about money. The benefits you’d get from moving back are non- monetary, but could be hugely important to your family, happiness, and well being.

It is one of my few regrets in life that my kids grew up in an area away from all the relatives. It’s a big deal, I think.
Mostly true, but as BH proves over and over, being close to family has monetary benefits and burdens. I would have stayed out West, but we moved back East, in part, because we knew we may need to be involved in care for my in-laws. That did, in fact, come to pass. Ten years later that decision still influences our finances and plans for the future.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Murgatroyd »

imsomeguy wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:36 am
Swansea wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:10 am NJ is one of the highest states measured by exodus of people relocating. The reasons for many are the tax burden and fiscal stability of the state. Just something to consider.
Yea I hear ya, but right now I'm in Chicago. Schools, violence, tax situation etc - it ain't all rosy hear either
I grew up in the Chicago suburbs. Chased the career in 7 other locations for 30 years. Some of those other locations could be considered more attractive from weather to taxes. (As an aside, every time we moved, even to very different tax regimes, the costs all came out very similarly. Except when public schools were substandard, then it was dramatically more expensive because we had to pay for private schools)

Moved back to a different Chicago suburb 7 years ago. Like you it was an unexpected job situation. We’ve now retired here and have no desire to be anywhere else. You can go back home. Nothing like friends and family. Everything else is “stuff”.

Make the move
Thegame14
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Thegame14 »

that is like two towns over from where I live, small world, NJ has its problems, with high taxes, and lots of companies moving their HQ to lower cost states, but then companies move from NYc to NJ. NJ has all four seasons, close to NYC close to mountains for skiing, jersey shore in the summer, Great schools, the Yankees, and if family is close that is important. I dont see how you wouldnt be happy, just have to make sure the income makes sense vs what you made before to account for cost of living increase.
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Watty
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Watty »

My situation was totally different but my experiences might be useful.

I moved to Atlanta from the west coast during a corporate merger when my son was in middle school. Our vague plan was that I would work there until I retired then move somewhere else, but probably not back to where we had been living.

1) My son grew up and got married to woman who was raised here and has extended family here so they are pretty well tied to Atlanta. They also now have two kids, our grandkids, so moving to a different area is no longer a real option since we have family ties here now.

2) My son is doing well in his career and was easily able to afford to buy a nice house that is about ten minutes from us since housing is still pretty affordable here.

Virtually all his high school and college friends that stayed in the area were able to comfortably afford to buy nice houses when they were in their 20s.

We also have friends that have a son that is severely dyslexic and barely graduated from high school. At one point he was working in a chain muffler shop which is a good honest job but I am sure that it did not pay a lot. Even on his income he was able to buy a small older house that is in a marginal but not terrible area.

Years ago when I was right out of college I was working in Silicon Valley which has always been expensive. One of the things I saw even back then was some of my older coworkers had grown kids what were well in their 20s but still living with their parents and that was not always a good situation. The problem was that even though they had jobs they were doing things like working in department stores and they could not afford an apartment in such an expensive area even with roommates.

Your kids could end up moving anywhere when they grow up but try to picture what it will be like for them when they are in their 20s and 30s if they are living near you in New Jersey. They will also likely have different levels of financial success so don't assume that they will all have high paying careers.

If your adult kids have a hard time affording to live near you there may be more incentive for them to move away.

3) My son was in middle school when we moved to Atlanta and even though the schools here were better than his old schools it took him several years to adjust and it was real hard on him. With the ages of your kids it will be a lot harder to move once they get into middle school so it may be now or never if you are going to move.

4) My son went to a good Georgia state university which was relatively affordable and was a good fit for him. Be sure to consider the college options in the different states.

5) Living in an area with a moderate to low cost of living was a huge factor in me being able to retire when I was 58. Even if you enjoy your job and want to work for a long time you might not be able to so there is a lot to be said for being able to retire early.

6) We have been in Atlanta for nearly 20 years now and we have been back to where we used to live numerous times. We still have friends there and it is nice to see them but it is not the same now since people's lives have gone in different directions especially as kids have grown up. The old city has also changed a lot and is a lot different than when we used to live there. We still miss it in some ways but what we really miss is the way it was 20 years ago when we were also 20 years younger. If we moved back now it would not be the same.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

We were happy in NJ for many years, but I started disliking it (Millburn - Short Hills to be precise) around 5-10 years ago. We are much happier near Boston. If a lot of family lived in NJ, that’s a different story.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.
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RootSki
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by RootSki »

I’m in Morris Xxxxx NJ and we will be exiting NJ for Bucks County, PA this year. A lot of money is leaving NJ both individual and corporate. NJ has long term fiscal problems with underfunding the state pension fund (which also underperforms the market).
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by hudson »

imsomeguy,
If you haven't, do your homework and make sure that it won't hurt too much.
Your children are a good age to tolerate the move.
If I were in your shoes, I would go.
mikemagz11
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by mikemagz11 »

I've lived in Jersey for my 31 years in existence except for college and wouldn't imagine living anywhere else. My brother used to live in Fair Lawn and it is for sure expensive but nice area.
louiethelilac
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by louiethelilac »

NJ resident here for the last 35 years. In retirement (soon) we may consider at least 1/2 residence in a lower taxed area, but probably not. Very hard to do "what if" analysis with regard to standard of living during your working years because there are so many variables. Fair Lawn is an expensive but nice town and great community.
arsenalfan
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by arsenalfan »

Move to where functional/helpful extended family is, and where both parents will be happy.
Family ain't happy if mom and dad ain't happy.
Consider renting for a while to figure out where our social network is, and your jobs/commutes are set/optimized.
IMHO I think you can move anytime until 8th grade.
retiringwhen
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by retiringwhen »

imsomeguy wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:36 am
Swansea wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:10 am NJ is one of the highest states measured by exodus of people relocating. The reasons for many are the tax burden and fiscal stability of the state. Just something to consider.
Yea I hear ya, but right now I'm in Chicago. Schools, violence, tax situation etc - it ain't all rosy hear either
Illinois/Chicago is one of the few places where it safe to say is worse than NJ for most of the things that makes people leave NJ.

Be realistic that NJ real estate has not been good for a decade and with the current softness in NYC, likely to not improve much in Fair Lawn soon.

The tax and fiscal condition of the state is a real serious concern. It cannot continue as it has much longer. Either a major political reckoning or a fiscal crisis has to be considered a high likelihood event.

My wife was born in Newark and her family has had deep ties (family and business) to Essex County for 6 generations, but we are decamping (partially initially) to PA to mitigate the risks of having our real estate and income tied to NJ. We don't want to move too far because Family is here though. So understand and support your desire to be with family. Be realistic about the cost of living and the fiscal situation though.

On the other hand, I, as a transplant from rural Ohio, love the state on so many other levels. Our home is in Hunterdon County which is much more rural so I can feel a little at home :-) The availability of culture, services, quality hospitals, generally above average schools, is very hard to beat almost anywhere in the USA.

If your business is tied to NYC Metro careers (finance, International trade, etc.), it can be very lucrative. But, the traditional technology/telecom and pharma careers have largely dried up in the last decade and as far as I can see, are dwindling at an increasing pace.

It is a true mixed bag, be realistic.
stuyguy
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by stuyguy »

Deja vu. Go Big Blue, and good luck :happy
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Trader Joe »

imsomeguy wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 10:59 am We have 3 kids (ages 8, 5 & 3) and moved out to the Midwest 7 years ago. We are somewhat settled but it has never quite felt like home, we are both east coasters and left all of our friends and family behind. And even when we moved here we always said that we could move back. The stars have aligned employment wise and now we have the opening so at least we'll both be employed and could make this work better than anytime in the past. We realize the cost involved (might take a bath on our house), traffic/congestion, lifestyle change and everything - but kinda feel like this would be the easiest logistical time to make this move.

Someone give me a sign that this is the right move? Cousins will all be closer, family/friends closer, the only time my wife feels at home is when she is walking around NYC and I love it too although unlikely we'll live in the city. This move makes sense right?
This sounds like a great move. I love the area.
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imsomeguy
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by imsomeguy »

stuyguy wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 4:40 pm Deja vu. Go Big Blue, and good luck :happy
ha small world - same handle?
Opalmanta
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Opalmanta »

At retirement, we moved to the Midwest to be closer to family, and I'm glad we did it. However, I do miss NJ for all the good things: the shore, the Appalachian trail, proximity to Manhattan and New England. That being said, if I were to move back to NJ, it would not be to one of the highest price counties like Bergen and Essex. I'd head for Morris or Somerset counties with good train access to Manhattan, and lower county/real estate taxes (relatively).
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warner25
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by warner25 »

After being away for seven years, my concern is that the place may not feel like home anymore. Your life, and that of your friends and family, is different from life as you knew it back then, especially before having the kids. So I would limit expectations and avoid romanticizing it.

There are pros and cons of being near extended family too. You can get free help with childcare and feel more connected, but you can also face more social pressure and obligations on your time and money and parenting decisions.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Hockey10 »

fru-gal wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:45 am Family is family. I regret several things in my life, and living away from family is one of them.
+1

One of my regrets in life was moving away from family for a job. Shortly after getting settled in at the new location, I knew it was a mistake. We eventually moved back to our home area. I treat the move back as one of the best decisions in my life.
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MaryO
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by MaryO »

Why Fair Lawn?
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

mikemagz11 wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 1:28 pm I've lived in Jersey for my 31 years in existence except for college and wouldn't imagine living anywhere else. My brother used to live in Fair Lawn and it is for sure expensive but nice area.
It's expensive, but not as expensive as it's two next door neighbors: Glen Rock and Ridgewood. OP - if you are moving close to family, I would not discount the value in that ~ people talk about the cost of daycare, aftercare, summer programs. There are economic and non-economic benefits of having family you actually get along with living nearby. Yes, it's congested, yes, it's expensive but if you can afford it, why not? So long as you do not play the game of keeping up with the Joneses, then you should be fine.
Opalmanta wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 4:56 pm At retirement, we moved to the Midwest to be closer to family, and I'm glad we did it. However, I do miss NJ for all the good things: the shore, the Appalachian trail, proximity to Manhattan and New England. That being said, if I were to move back to NJ, it would not be to one of the highest price counties like Bergen and Essex. I'd head for Morris or Somerset counties with good train access to Manhattan, and lower county/real estate taxes (relatively).
Morris, Essex, Passiac, Union, Somerset ~ there are taxes, and then there ARE taxes. It all depends in what locale you reside in and the standard of living you are accustomed to. Those $500-$600K mini mansions anywhere else in the country would cost millions up here but it's the property taxes that would really cripple you. It's not unheard of to have a regular home 2,000 square feet or even 1,800 square feet to have property taxes of $10-$11K. It'd be nice to have a house where your property taxes were $5K or less, but short of you owning a small condo, it's just not happening for any town/borough/city in the NYC/NJ/CT/LI vicinity. It's expensive living in the Northeast, the citizens created this by their choice of voting.
Last edited by Grt2bOutdoors on Sun Feb 23, 2020 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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MaryO
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by MaryO »

Grt2bOutdoors wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 6:10 pm

Morris, Essex, Passiac, Union, Somerset ~ there are taxes, and then there ARE taxes. It all depends in what locale you reside in and the standard of living you are accustomed to. Those $500-$600K mini mansions anywhere else in the country would cost millions up here but it's the property taxes that would really cripple you. It's not unheard of to have a regular home 2,000 square feet or even 1,800 square feet to have property taxes of $10-$11K. It'd be nice to have a house where your property taxes were $5K or less, but short of you owning a small condo, it's just not happening for any town/borough/city in the NYC/NJ/CT/LI vicinity. It's expensive living in the Northeast, the citizens created this by their choice of voting.
I don't think you could find a 1800 sq. ft. home in any safe town in Essex County with property taxes that low.
Bergen County, where Fair Lawn is, has lower taxes than Essex.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Billionaire »

I lived in Fair Lawn until I was eight. Then we moved to Wayne. I love NJ.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

MaryO wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 6:25 pm
Grt2bOutdoors wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 6:10 pm

Morris, Essex, Passiac, Union, Somerset ~ there are taxes, and then there ARE taxes. It all depends in what locale you reside in and the standard of living you are accustomed to. Those $500-$600K mini mansions anywhere else in the country would cost millions up here but it's the property taxes that would really cripple you. It's not unheard of to have a regular home 2,000 square feet or even 1,800 square feet to have property taxes of $10-$11K. It'd be nice to have a house where your property taxes were $5K or less, but short of you owning a small condo, it's just not happening for any town/borough/city in the NYC/NJ/CT/LI vicinity. It's expensive living in the Northeast, the citizens created this by their choice of voting.
I don't think you could find a 1800 sq. ft. home in any safe town in Essex County with property taxes that low.
Bergen County, where Fair Lawn is, has lower taxes than Essex.
You can, but you'd have to sink some serious dough to bring it up to modern living standards. Alot of these towns in NNJ were established in the mid to late 1800's, many of the homes are from the 1900-1930 era and some of them if you've walked thought them make you feel like you are back in 1925.

Here are the tax rates by county and town: https://www.state.nj.us/treasury/taxati ... rate.shtml
Fairlawn is actually closer in rate to many towns in Essex and Bergen. There are towns where generally speaking lower tax rates per $100 of assessed value will have higher property valuations and sales, but not always. There are people who live in these higher taxed towns, they must have a good reason for doing so, people aren't just picking up stakes and moving because three towns away the tax rates are $1.00 per $100 cheaper.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by jjface »

You want me to tell you if it is a good idea to move back to a place that made you a lot happier?
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by nydoc »

As an immigrant we are willing to pay a premium to live in a diverse and safe town. That is the reason for higher prices for many towns around NYC. It might appear very blunt but many immigrants want to avoid predominantly white schools district for fear of drug problem.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by cheese_breath »

If you can afford it you have my permission.
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anon_investor
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by anon_investor »

jjface wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 7:10 pm You want me to tell you if it is a good idea to move back to a place that made you a lot happier?
Can money buy happiness? Only if you [are willing to] use it.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by theplayer11 »

Thegame14 wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:13 pm that is like two towns over from where I live, small world, NJ has its problems, with high taxes, and lots of companies moving their HQ to lower cost states, but then companies move from NYc to NJ. NJ has all four seasons, close to NYC close to mountains for skiing, jersey shore in the summer, Great schools, the Yankees, and if family is close that is important. I dont see how you wouldnt be happy, just have to make sure the income makes sense vs what you made before to account for cost of living increase.
Yankees? lol..hardly a reason to move to NJ. Family is the only reason to move back. People are fleeing that state for good reason.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by rich126 »

HueyLD wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:27 am No, you are not crazy at all.

Moving to where one belongs is more than a financial choice. You need to make a decision that’s best for you and your family.

Best of luck to you.
Agree totally. I’ve bounced back and forth between AZ and MD. While I detest the humidity and rain back east, it is where I have family and spent most of my life. Scottsdale can be great (was thinking it was chilly today since it was low 60s before I realized what Feb back east can be) but I don’t know if I can stay permanently.
musicmom
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by musicmom »

Lifelong NJ residents here.
Our kids will not be moving so we're staying.
Sold our family home in Morristown Morris county last year. Great town, great schools, midtown direct to NYC.
But newly retired now, we relocated a few towns over in a wonderful lake community with RE taxes half of old home.
No mortgage, no JOBS, everyday is Saturday on the lake.

Consider towns a bit west of Essex county. Lots of great options.

Go Yankees! Should be a heck of a year!
keith6014
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by keith6014 »

I live in N.NJ. I live close to your destination. I don't like NJ because of high cost of living, high congestion (possibly the highest in the US), and crappy people's attitude. But, staying closer to family is worth it.

I had opportunities to move to Chicago and West coast to make more money. I passed because of family proximately. It makes a big difference. Glad I stuck around!

I would do it.
Last edited by keith6014 on Sun Feb 23, 2020 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
keith6014
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by keith6014 »

TomatoTomahto wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:22 pm We were happy in NJ for many years, but I started disliking it (Millburn - Short Hills to be precise) around 5-10 years ago. We are much happier near Boston. If a lot of family lived in NJ, that’s a different story.
I am considering moving there in few years when kids get a bit older. Why is it so bad? I know its uber expensive but besides that what is it?
bsteiner
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by bsteiner »

Fair Lawn is a nice town. Houses there are modestly priced compared to some of the other towns in the area: https://www.realtor.com/realestateandho ... ir-Lawn_NJ.
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Cubicle
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Cubicle »

I was born, raised, & live in Jersey. I want to leave. Very much. I feel like I am wasting money here... Friends from school are telling me more & more, "move here", "warm", "cheap", "relaxed"...

But the siblings & parents are here. I grew up close with my family. I can't. I don't feel trapped but I do feel like I don't have an alternative.

Money wise: don't come back. Stay far far away.

Everything else: you & the wife will never feel like anywhere else is home unless you move everyone out to you. I am actually sorry you are going through this. It really is the pits.
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beyou
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by beyou »

I was offered the option to move to a LCOL state or face eventual job elimination.

DW loves her job in tri-state area.

Some of our family still in tri-state area, some near your intended destination.

Son moved opposite direction from my employer.

Only ppl we’ll know in Lcol would be coworkers.

I am staying put, will pay the taxes and consider retirement if nothing local comes up. Yes people and employers are leaving the area, but I have been saving all my life mainly to have control over my destiny.
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Watty
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by Watty »

Cubicle wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 10:43 pm But the siblings & parents are here. I grew up close with my family. I can't. I don't feel trapped but I do feel like I don't have an alternative.
Be sure to talk to your parents. Their friends could be telling them similar things about retiring someplace else but they could feel trapped because the kids are still living in New Jersey.

This is especially true if they are not flush with retirement money and could have a lot higher standard of living in a lower cost of living area.

If they are concerned about possible long term care costs those can also be a lot lower in some parts of the country.

https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/ ... -care.html
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by AlphaLess »

Normchad wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:22 am BonJovi is from NJ and write a song about going home; maybe that’s your sign.

This board is all about money. The benefits you’d get from moving back are non- monetary, but could be hugely important to your family, happiness, and well being.

It is one of my few regrets in life that my kids grew up in an area away from all the relatives. It’s a big deal, I think.
I also hear he wrote a song about 'half-way there' and 'livin on a prayer'.

I do like Bon Jovi. Correction: I do love Bon Jovi.
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Re: Relocating back east / Fair Lawn, NJ / Are we crazy?

Post by decapod10 »

One other thing to consider is that if your family is close by, you don't need to "waste" your vacation or money visiting them. My kids see their grandparents maybe twice per month, and we can just go see them whenever. I don't have to spend money on airplane tickets to go see them, nor do I need to use my vacation time to see them. If I didn't live nearby, I would probably use 1 or more of my vacations to go see them every year. But currently I don't need to do that.

These sorts of discussions also bring to mind that blog post about how many days we have left. My parents are around 75, so if I saw them once a year, I'd see them what, 10 more times before they're gone? But seeing them twice a month means I see them 240 times instead. Of course, not everyone is particularly interested in seeing their parents or family that often (or at all really), but it sounds like OP has at least some desire to see them.
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