Retirement: Filling the time?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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AerialWombat
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Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by AerialWombat » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm

I am now two full months into my “semi-retirement” experiment.

I’m bored. So, so bored.

So bored that I bought a PS4 video game console and another house while crashing in an Airbnb. Settlement on the house is Thursday, and I’ll move in for the next year (or longer?).

I can only drink so much single malt Scotch; play so much Fortnite; walk so much beautiful beach.

I have no spouse, kids, or other family. I’ve been nomadic my entire life, with no real roots anywhere. Burned out on travel, ready to be a homebody. Introverted, my few close friends are spread across the planet. Age 42.

I can’t imagine I am the only person in this boat. Especially for those of you without a family, how do you fill the time?

Bonus commentary: The super tiny community I’m moving to has some interesting oddities. There’s a surprisingly active Argentine tango scene I plan to check out. I’m a Navy veteran and former river/harbor sailor, and the new house is one mile from a Navy base, two marinas, and a sort of maritime academy with some interesting short-courses. I’m buying barely enough land to get, like, a cow...or three dogs. The house is perfect for an Airbnb or short-term housing for said maritime academy. I’ll also be one block from gold panning, clam/oyster digging, and whatever else you do near water. Years ago, I was a private pilot, and I’ll be super close to two aeropuertos. And there is a dinky junior college where I could finally take Spanish classes, or some accounting classes to finally qualify me to take the damn CPA exam, or that EMT class I’ve put off for 20 years...

Bottom line: I have current income that’s 10X my expenses, time to kill, a stack of things I used to do, and endless opportunity.

How have others attacked this clearly first world “problem”?

Edit: I’m frustrated enough that I’m even open to hiring a “life coach” or seeing a therapist or some other woo-woo thing. A friend jokingly suggested joining a cult, and ya’ know... But seriously, I’m open to any such weird suggestions to find a path.
Last edited by AerialWombat on Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Raybo
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Raybo » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:42 pm

When I retired, I made a list of things I wanted to do assuming time and money were not a limit. The list had a couple dozen things on it. I tried most of the items on the list (it turns out I have no desire to write a novel). Some of them I did for a good long while, like play the saxophone or read Will (and Ariel) Durant's Story of Civilization series. Others, like traveling by bicycle turned out to be my passion and I am still doing that.

Riding a bicycle takes up a lot of time, so while I occasionally have "nothing" to do, it usually isn't for more than a few hours.

It helps to redefine what constitutes "doing something."
No matter how long the hill, if you keep pedaling you'll eventually get up to the top.

nguy44
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by nguy44 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:49 pm

When one looks at retirement, one has to ask not just "what am I retiring from?", but also "what am I retiring to?". If one cannot answer the latter in a satisfactory way, then it might not be the right time to retire.

It was a factor in my retirement - since I had so many other ways I wanted to choose to spend my time, I figured there would not be a problem filling time, and it has worked out so far. I do have a wife that, after my years of corporate travel, is glad to have me around, so that is a benefit. I like to stay physically active, so there are many sport/fitness activities I participate in. I like to play with new IT technologies, and it is fun to do just to learn without having deadlines imposed by others. Though I am also an introvert I recognize the danger of spending too much time alone, so have joined some low key social groups and activities.

I have found I like to cook certain things, I look at it as an "edible chemistry experiment" to try things out... some things I thought only I would like now has my family and some friends clamoring for me to make stuff. Of course, I do it on my schedule, not theirs :happy.

In sum, understanding that second question above can make a difference.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by AerialWombat » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:49 pm

Raybo wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:42 pm
When I retired, I made a list of things I wanted to do assuming time and money were not a limit. The list had a couple dozen things on it. I tried most of the items on the list (it turns out I have no desire to write a novel). Some of them I did for a good long while, like play the saxophone or read Will (and Ariel) Durant's Story of Civilization series. Others, like traveling by bicycle turned out to be my passion and I am still doing that.

Riding a bicycle takes up a lot of time, so while I occasionally have "nothing" to do, it usually isn't for more than a few hours.

It helps to redefine what constitutes "doing something."
Thanks for this, I appreciate it. I’m extremely overweight, so maybe a bicycle should be on my shopping list. :)

Can you tell me more about the *process* you took to arrive at cycling as your “thing”? Like, more of the iterative steps?

Thank you!

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AerialWombat
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by AerialWombat » Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:02 am

nguy44 wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:49 pm
When one looks at retirement, one has to ask not just "what am I retiring from?", but also "what am I retiring to”
...
Though I am also an introvert I recognize the danger of spending too much time alone, so have joined some low key social groups and activities.
This cuts to the core of my issue. “I have a particular set of skills...”, which bore me to death and I am more excited about escaping FROM than I am about retiring to something else.

What are the “low key” social groups you joined?

There is a Rotary Club that meets at one of the nearby marinas. Should I look into that?

flyingaway
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by flyingaway » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:01 am

Find a life partner.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by BarbBrooklyn » Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:36 am

Yes, First World problem, your ennui.

Also your excess weight.

Actionably, seek out activities/opportunities that combine exercise and giving back to your community.

Therapy, as in CBT might help you with habit change and long term happiness.
BarbBrooklyn | "The enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan."

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AerialWombat
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by AerialWombat » Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:49 am

flyingaway wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:01 am
Find a life partner.
Married — and divorced — twice. Gave up on all that jazz.

Zombies
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Zombies » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:37 am

I made a long spreadsheet of things I wanted to try, along with how badly I was interested in them, how much it would cost/how long it would take to get to proficiency, and links to providers.

Some of them I completed were quick - like a survival camp - while others were major investments (I got my private pilot’s license).

Some come out of nowhere - my wife and I started taking horseback riding lessons on a whim recently and love it - while others just make sense (hired a personal trainer 2x a week).

I also began taking some continuing education classes at a local university that are extremely interesting.

I thought I would get bored after a few months. Now, I can’t imagine why I waited so long to do this. I was a big gamer while working, but haven’t touched my Xbox, Switch or PS4 in months.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by tennisplyr » Mon Feb 10, 2020 7:47 am

Well, maybe read some books on what to do in retirement. I hesitate to mention volunteering but it has worked for many people I know. Persuing hobbies is something I do. Or just being around other people more. It's very easy to get lazy and just zone out...push yourself hard to stay engaged in life, don't give up!
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Sandtrap » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:34 am

Considerations:

Congratulations on your retirement and new home purchase.
1
Buy a boat, keep it in the nearby marina.
2
Once moving into your new home, join a local karate class, Tai Chi, etc, and a gym (take care of your health).
(Imagine if you had poor health, chronic pain, and were disabled or bedridden for a year. Your thoughts would be different)
3
Things enabling dwelling, escape (drinking, etc), binging, etc, are antithetical. Substitute for healthier behaviors.
4
Read the following: "Life Strategy", "Life Code", by Dr. Phil.
Take the MBTI test online. (16personalities)
All part of self discovery, which can be fun.
5
Make a bucket list. Things will materialize along the way that you will not expect.

It takes time to go through these life transitions (usually years so be patient), it happens and resolves on its own as you internalize changes, reflect on your own evolving ethos, and manifest such in lifestyle and those around you. Your perceptions of yourself and the world will change. Trust the process. (I think there was the old movie "Mario Bros." where someone said, "trust the fungus".)

Good luck on this new life journey, beginning of a new era.

"Carpe Dime"
j :happy
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shell921
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by shell921 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:34 am

LEARNING NEW SKILLS in retirement is key to brain health and helps us stay enthusiastic about life.

I retired in 2003 and here are some things I did and still do!
...............................
square dance class
salsa dance class
bachata classes
bachata on the beach: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nVzDSvv9bw
tai chi class
yoga class
drawing class
writing class
volunteering at Neighborhood Watch office
volunteering as a docent at local historical society museum
walking daily with my 2 dogs
teaching a drawing class [ and getting paid! ]
.................................................

I also tried a volunteer job as a trained 'crisis helper'. Through
local police department. I did that for 13 months. It turned out to be
too stressful for me but the training was excellent and I learned a lot and made a new friend.
So I am glad I tried it and I was able to help people...which helped me.

Do you like sailing? Try a sailing class !

Maintaining fitness - balance, strength and flexibility is important as we age

these guys are good :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUQOoNgcrG0

this woman is good too :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGa5C1Qs8jA

bosu ball :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVLZsp6-o0I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc8DBjc95SA

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by jharkin » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:42 am

AerialWombat wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm
. Age 42.
One of your biggest challenges will be the fact that very few (talking single digit %) of people this age are retired. Most adults you will run into on weekdays that are similar age and not at work will be busy stay at home parents.

If you join social clubs that are retiree-focused you are going to find hte average age will be 30-40 years your senior. My 70+ y.o. MIL went to a retiree social group at her church and left disappointed saying everyone there was "so old!" (think 80+).


Hate to be blunt... but maybe work a few more years. Or volunteer. Go back to school, get a degree in another field and try out a second career?

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by HomerJ » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:57 am

AerialWombat wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm
Bonus commentary: The super tiny community I’m moving to has some interesting oddities. There’s a surprisingly active Argentine tango scene I plan to check out. I’m a Navy veteran and former river/harbor sailor, and the new house is one mile from a Navy base, two marinas, and a sort of maritime academy with some interesting short-courses. I’m buying barely enough land to get, like, a cow...or three dogs. The house is perfect for an Airbnb or short-term housing for said maritime academy. I’ll also be one block from gold panning, clam/oyster digging, and whatever else you do near water. Years ago, I was a private pilot, and I’ll be super close to two aeropuertos. And there is a dinky junior college where I could finally take Spanish classes, or some accounting classes to finally qualify me to take the damn CPA exam, or that EMT class I’ve put off for 20 years...
What's the problem?

Do THOSE things instead of playing Fortnite all day.
The J stands for Jay

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by sport » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:58 am

I went back to an old hobby in retirement: Duplicate Bridge www.acbl.org
It is a little difficult to learn, but once you get started, you can play as much or as little as you wish. Each session at a club takes about 3 hours. It gets you out of the house, you meet new people, it is good mental exercise, and it is a lot of fun. If you get serious about it, you can even travel to tournaments.

shell921
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by shell921 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:03 am

I forgot to mention meditation. Learn to meditate!

I meditate and have since March of 2016. I can not recommend it highly enough.
I wish I had learned it at your age.
People who meditate are better able to cope with stress. There is no downside to it.
If you can't do it for 10 min - try it for one or two min and build up.

Meditation makes you much more aware of what your brain is thinking
and this gives you more control
over which thoughts you dwell on and which you choose to release. Meditation also
gives your body a deep profound REST! Body and mind are interconnected so quieting the mind also quiets the body.
You will feel better physically if you meditate regularly and you will have more energy.
You will also have more CLARITY.

2 great books to read are :

"10% Happier" and

"Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics: A 10% Happier How-to Book"
both books byDan Harris

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by bloom2708 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:08 am

Exercise - Yoga, weights, walking, running, biking
Cooking - 3 meals a day should keep you busy
Reading - Library is full of books!

Hobbies? - Listening to music, Bogleheads (help others), what do you like to do? Would living in a different climate/weather area help?

I'm always a bit stumped on the "don't know what to do" after a few month threads. Sharpen your creativity brain cells! :wink:
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by veggivet » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:09 am

Day trade Tesla. The hours will fly by!
If you watch your pennies, your dollars will take care of themselves.

cs412a
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by cs412a » Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:00 pm

I discovered at the beginning of my retirement that I had a chronic illness that left me tired and fat. Everything was an effort. I was simultaneously bored and apathetic. Once I discovered what the medical problem was, I was still old and fat, but not as tired. So my main project for the past two years has been to regain my health by eating well (not a calorie restricted diet, but a healthy diet that satisfies my hunger - e.g., less processed food, less sugar, etc.) and following an exercise program. It's been a gradual process but now, without going hungry (I hate being hungry), I've lost about half the weight I want to lose and I'm engaging in vigorous exercise (doing things I like to do) and a strength training program. I love feeling comfortable in my body again.

Right now this "project" is my priority, but I see that changing in another year or so - eating well and exercising will move from the foreground to the background.

Of course, even now that still leaves me with plenty of time to do other things. I do volunteer work. While it is worthwhile, what I really like about it is that I get to interact 4-5 times a month with a group of people I like. So it provides me with some of the "vitamins" of social interaction (as VictoriaF would say).

I'm close to my sisters, most of whom have live about 2-1/2 hours away, so there are family get-togethers to look forward to. Social interaction is important, and if you don't have family nearby (or aren't close to family members) then friends and acquaintances are important.

I have a number of other projects, specific to my interests, that I'm engaged in. The key for me is that whatever I do, it's important to me to experience a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

During my working life, when teaching college students no longer provided that experience, I got a paralegal certificate and worked in the legal aid area. So I've learned that what provides the feeling that is important to me can change over time. At the same time, I've always been able to find replacement activities by using the emotional criterion of whether engaging in the activity leaves me feeling the way I want to feel.

Identifying the criteria that are important for you can help you decide what activities you want to engage in. It's okay to experiment, there are lots of possibilities.

Finally, focusing on your health for a while - if you want - might put you in a better place to do the other things you'd like to do.

3feetpete
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by 3feetpete » Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:18 pm

Get outdoors for walks or anything else.
Take up pickleball.

btenny
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by btenny » Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:55 pm

Get a medium size or larger dog. Take dog for 1 or 2 long walks all over neighborhood every day. Talk to your new neighbors on these walks. Play fetch with dog at vacant lot or park.

Buy a small 22-25 foot sail boat. Learn to sail it. Maybe take sailing lessons. Take new friends met on dog walks sailing once a week or more. Join local yatch club. Go to yatch club for dinner and or drinks at least once a week. Enter in weekly yatch club beer can races. Take dog on boat along with friends sometimes so he/she likes boat. Play cards at local yatch club. Go to local bowling alley and join a league. Then join a team in league and bowl once a week on firm schedule.

Call those tango dance people and see if they offer dance lessons. Take dance lessons.

Call up local meals on wheels charity and volunteer to deliver once a week. Go drive around and deliver food to home bound people and meet people snd talk to people. Enjoy helping those in need.

Pretty soon you will be really busy and having fun and loosing weight.

Good Luck

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JoeRetire
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by JoeRetire » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:05 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm
I am now two full months into my “semi-retirement” experiment.

I’m bored. So, so bored.

I have no spouse, kids, or other family. I’ve been nomadic my entire life, with no real roots anywhere. Burned out on travel, ready to be a homebody. Introverted, my few close friends are spread across the planet. Age 42.
Why did you retire? What did you expect to be doing with your time?
Especially for those of you without a family, how do you fill the time?
I do have a family and friends, and that's a major part of my retirement life.

In addition to that, I:
- read a lot more than I ever could
- spend a lot more time outdoors than I ever could before. I walk, ride a bike, and on nice days enjoy the local beaches
- play pickleball 3 days a week
- work on a photography and photo editing hobby
- go to lectures
- act as a board member and treasurer for our homeowner's association
- organize and host games nights in our association
- enjoy the company of family and friends
- enjoy the grandkids
- go to movies with my wife (who enjoys them a lot more than I do)
- walk down to the local general store, buy coffee, and chat with the locals
- etc, etc

Often, there aren't enough hours in the day.

When my sons were young, they would occasionally whine and complain "I'm bored!"
I would reply "I see. So what are you going to do about it?"

So - what you are you going to do about it?
Very Stable Genius

barnaclebob
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by barnaclebob » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:11 pm

Pick up activities where money spent doesnt directly correlate to advancement in skill level. Many physical activities and forms of artistic expression fit the bill.

deikel
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by deikel » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:18 pm

I would say that you are ONLY a couple of months into it

Meaning, there are statistics that people need months, some even two years to get used to the new normal. Statistic says people need months to get used to a new house and a new surrounding - you (I assume) changed everything from working and traveling all the time to standing still completely....why would you be surprised that that has shocked the system ?

Also, maybe you retired 'from something' more then 'towards something' - so take the time to find the new normal, try all kinds of odd stuff and see where it goes.

I don't think it is wrong to do somethings to excess and until it becomes boring and loose its appeal (drink whiskey and play computer games, walk along the beach until you know every stone)...just do what comes to mind at every given time and enjoy the fact that you can do it (maybe even more then the activity itself).

Also, I would caution that most heart attacks happen when people decompress and not at the actual time of stress - so maybe consider your current restlessness as part of the syndrome of too much work before.....and again, take it slow and deliberate with a focus on health ?

I think a life coach is probably a waste of money - as is therapy at this point (other then you consider yourself depressed).

And if all that does not work, can you go back to work - maybe part time, maybe work something else....there is nothing wrong with work if you need it (for monetary or other reasons)
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LeeInTN
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by LeeInTN » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:44 pm

Please seriously consider dancing. Argentine Tango is more of a "specialty" dance and is plenty of fun, but don't limit yourself. Find a local pay-as-you-go studio and learn all sorts of ballroom, swing, and latin dancing. You'll be surprised at the number of introverts who are dancing in your community.
Avoid the chain dance shops that demand contracts and large payments.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by TresBelle65 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:54 pm

JoeRetire,

I read your list below....I am retiring soon and your list sounds wonderful to me. Can I ask if you live in
a retirement community?


In addition to that, I:
- read a lot more than I ever could
- spend a lot more time outdoors than I ever could before. I walk, ride a bike, and on nice days enjoy the local beaches
- play pickleball 3 days a week
- work on a photography and photo editing hobby
- go to lectures
- act as a board member and treasurer for our homeowner's association
- organize and host games nights in our association
- enjoy the company of family and friends
- enjoy the grandkids
- go to movies with my wife (who enjoys them a lot more than I do)
- walk down to the local general store, buy coffee, and chat with the locals
- etc, etc

Carefreeap
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Carefreeap » Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:59 pm

jharkin wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:42 am
AerialWombat wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm
. Age 42.
One of your biggest challenges will be the fact that very few (talking single digit %) of people this age are retired. Most adults you will run into on weekdays that are similar age and not at work will be busy stay at home parents.

If you join social clubs that are retiree-focused you are going to find hte average age will be 30-40 years your senior. My 70+ y.o. MIL went to a retiree social group at her church and left disappointed saying everyone there was "so old!" (think 80+).


Hate to be blunt... but maybe work a few more years. Or volunteer. Go back to school, get a degree in another field and try out a second career?
I "retired" about the same age as the OP and struggled as well. Technically I quit my job to relocate with my husband. No kids and no job made socializing a bit of a struggle. Also while I was ready to leave my job it kept me very busy and was high profile enough where I really missed the action. It took a few months before I could create a routine that made me happy. I volunteered for a local Land Trust became Treasurer then President. I became a docent at a local County Park and would lead not only guided hikes in the park but befriended some other crazy people and we would do some extreme hiking on our own. Later I got started with backpacking. Fast forward to a few years ago and for my 55th birthday I solo hiked the John Muir Trail (my hike was about 230 miles). I've since completed four other solo backpacking trips and am in the process of planning to hike Section A of the Pacific Crest Trail which goes from Campo at the Mexican border to the little mountain town of Idyllwild (total distance of about 180 miles). I was about 30lbs overweight when I started this hobby but through training and hiking dropped the extra weight. You meet a lot of nice people on the trail and it restores your faith in humanity. 8-)

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by willthrill81 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:21 pm

I too am quite introverted, but I do love to travel. That said, if I was in your shoes, I'd personally go on a long-distance 'thru-hike', something like the Pacific Crest Trail, which runs from Mexico to Canada through CA, OR, and WA. Man, would I love to do that... I'm hoping that my and my DW's health will still be good enough so that if I retire as planned around age 52, we can do such a hike then.
“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” J.R.R. Tolkien,The Lord of the Rings

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by LadyGeek » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:21 pm

This forum maintains a "family friendly" environment. Not just for language, but subject matter.

I removed a post that was above this threshold (the language was fine).
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nguy44
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by nguy44 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:34 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:02 am
nguy44 wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:49 pm
When one looks at retirement, one has to ask not just "what am I retiring from?", but also "what am I retiring to”
...
Though I am also an introvert I recognize the danger of spending too much time alone, so have joined some low key social groups and activities.
This cuts to the core of my issue. “I have a particular set of skills...”, which bore me to death and I am more excited about escaping FROM than I am about retiring to something else.

What are the “low key” social groups you joined?

There is a Rotary Club that meets at one of the nearby marinas. Should I look into that?
You should look into the Rotary Club or anything else. That is the joy of being retired - you have the time and flexibility.

I have a variety of things, all aligned with my non-work interest and skills. Hiking groups. Board game time at the library (some may laugh, but it is a great way to keep ones mind sharp). Classes at local gym. "Golf for fun" (group of us who golf for the fun and to encourage each other, and not "intense"). Monthly dinner+speaker group - go to dinner, hear a speaker on a variety of topics. Dancing. Some these I do with my wife, some without - we have enough common and distinct interests to not get in each others way.

These are "low key" in that if you show up, fine, if you cannot make it, fine as well. People are friendly but no overbearing, there are no expectations other than sharing a common interest.

Keep in mind that nothing is going to come to you, you have to go out and seek things, try things, find out both the things that you like and the things you do not like. You mention a "unique set of skills". If they are work related, one observation is that those of us with "unique" work related skills, particularly if we are introverts, are used to others coming to seek us out. In retirement it is much the opposite - you have to take the initiative to seek out things. You have the additional challenges of being a very young retiree and not having a relationship with someone. Personally I could not retire in that situation. But that is me - others have and have weathered that "storm" Just be patient and seek things.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by LadyGeek » Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:09 pm

This thread is now in the Personal Consumer Issues forum (how you spend your money and your time).

Do you like spending a lot of time on the computer, and do you have software skills? If so, volunteer your time helping develop open source projects.
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by yohac » Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:10 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:49 am
flyingaway wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:01 am
Find a life partner.
Married — and divorced — twice. Gave up on all that jazz.
Regardless, if you go entire days without talking to anyone, that's the first thing you need to address.

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FelixTheCat
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by FelixTheCat » Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:28 pm

I am trying to hike more. I use AllTrails for my suggestions https://www.alltrails.com/
Felix is a wonderful, wonderful cat.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by renue74 » Mon Feb 10, 2020 5:30 pm

I think we've crossed paths before on this forum.

I'm 45 and told my 2 employees to leave last fall...and I wound down my small business. I have rental property and still do a little web design work part time.

I found that I was less stressed versus running a business day to day.

Things I do now:

• Get up early..just like before.
• Explore new things I didn't have time to do or "make excuses" why I didn't do them: YMCA....in the middle of the morning is awesome. No crowds.
• Researched and planned/booked a through hike for June/July. Tour du Mont Blanc...100 mile hike through France, Italy and Switzerland. Will start training for that in March. (Not a hiker)
• Took up Amazon FBA. I research products and do retail arbitrage...looking for good deals to resell on Amazon. It's just a hobby...but I am using this as a test...to see if I want to private label a few 3D printed products. Strictly for "fun."
• Remodeling my kid's bathroom....took it down to the studs and redoing electrical, plumbing, and finish work.
• Always researching rental market in my area. Flipped a house in January. Have 2 other rental houses I'm going to work on rehabbing after I finish bathroom project.

I will be honest...I did actually send my resume out in late November and got a couple interviews. But after a few rounds of interviews, I quickly realized I'm not ready to work for a huge Megacorp. Oh the powerpoints...so many powerpoints. Who uses powerpoints in a job interview!?!?

You need to find a "buddy." Not a freakin' life buddy....but a person to hang out with. I met a house flipper at the bank about 6 months ago. We go to real estate meetings together, hang out, etc. It's hard to make new friends. I know it is.

The cycling thing....I did that a few years ago and it was fun. I joined the local cycle club and they have group rides about 3 or 4 days per week. Beginner rides, social rides, etc. In the winter, it can be tough to get motivated to go out and do that...and eventually, I got busy rehabbing my rentals on the weekends...so I dropped cycling.

I'm not "fully" retiring....just changing to the "next chapter," in my life.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by jkrm » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:19 pm

You have gotten some excellent suggestions. I don't have much to add, but a couple of things come to mind.
  • Social connection has been shown to be very important to a person's emotional and physical well being. Take advantage of the community where you are moving in, find some groups to join, sign up for some informal classes. Whatever it takes to get involved with other people.
  • [Comment removed -- mod oldcomputerguy]

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by DesertDiva » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:26 pm

Volunteer to be a Bogleheads moderator and/or contribute to the wiki :)

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by fru-gal » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:45 pm

I haven''t read the zillion replies.

Volunteer. Your world seems to revolve around you. There are many people and animals who need your help.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Bronko » Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:57 pm

Find a local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. Don't think you're too old or heavy. We have several people where I train that have dropped 75-100 pounds. At least a third of the class is 40 plus. I've met some great people there. It's hard to be depressed when your mind and body are sweating and working on remembering new techniques. Look at Anthony Bourdain in the last 5 years of his life. He never looked more healthy then when he took up the mat.

Best of luck. Many posters with great ideas. Randomly pick three posts and try it. What do you have to lose?
Never let a little bit of money get in the way of a real good time.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by LadyGeek » Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:04 pm

DesertDiva wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:26 pm
Volunteer to be a Bogleheads moderator and/or contribute to the wiki :)
Works for me. :wink:
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Luckywon » Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:28 pm

A few things in your OP make me think you might benefit from mindfulness meditation. Certainly it might address feelings like boredom and frustration. I'm certainly not an advanced practitioner but I've been working on it, and it's been helpful so far.

You could start with Sam Harris's Waking Up App which includes some helpful "lessons" and then a series of guided meditations. Another good app is Headspace. If you find some promise in these, a next step could be a retreat or similar more intensive program.

Best wishes.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by JoeRetire » Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:31 pm

TresBelle65 wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 1:54 pm
JoeRetire,

I read your list below....I am retiring soon and your list sounds wonderful to me. Can I ask if you live in
a retirement community?
No, I don't.

I live in a beachside community in Maine, with some great places to walk and take pictures.
I'm a lucky guy.

There's very little on my list that others couldn't do as well in their own communities. You just have to want to do things.
Very Stable Genius

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by JediMisty » Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:53 pm

Bronko wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:57 pm
Find a local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. Don't think you're too old or heavy. We have several people where I train that have dropped 75-100 pounds. At least a third of the class is 40 plus. I've met some great people there. It's hard to be depressed when your mind and body are sweating and working on remembering new techniques. Look at Anthony Bourdain in the last 5 years of his life. He never looked more healthy then when he took up the mat.

Best of luck. Many posters with great ideas. Randomly pick three posts and try it. What do you have to lose?
Ummm. Maybe Anthony Bourdain wasn't a great example...

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dm200
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by dm200 » Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:14 pm

AerialWombat wrote:
Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:36 pm
I am now two full months into my “semi-retirement” experiment.
I’m bored. So, so bored.
So bored that I bought a PS4 video game console and another house while crashing in an Airbnb. Settlement on the house is Thursday, and I’ll move in for the next year (or longer?).
I can only drink so much single malt Scotch; play so much Fortnite; walk so much beautiful beach.
I have no spouse, kids, or other family. I’ve been nomadic my entire life, with no real roots anywhere. Burned out on travel, ready to be a homebody. Introverted, my few close friends are spread across the planet. Age 42.
I can’t imagine I am the only person in this boat. Especially for those of you without a family, how do you fill the time?
Bonus commentary: The super tiny community I’m moving to has some interesting oddities. There’s a surprisingly active Argentine tango scene I plan to check out. I’m a Navy veteran and former river/harbor sailor, and the new house is one mile from a Navy base, two marinas, and a sort of maritime academy with some interesting short-courses. I’m buying barely enough land to get, like, a cow...or three dogs. The house is perfect for an Airbnb or short-term housing for said maritime academy. I’ll also be one block from gold panning, clam/oyster digging, and whatever else you do near water. Years ago, I was a private pilot, and I’ll be super close to two aeropuertos. And there is a dinky junior college where I could finally take Spanish classes, or some accounting classes to finally qualify me to take the damn CPA exam, or that EMT class I’ve put off for 20 years...
Bottom line: I have current income that’s 10X my expenses, time to kill, a stack of things I used to do, and endless opportunity.
How have others attacked this clearly first world “problem”?
Edit: I’m frustrated enough that I’m even open to hiring a “life coach” or seeing a therapist or some other woo-woo thing. A friend jokingly suggested joining a cult, and ya’ know... But seriously, I’m open to any such weird suggestions to find a path.
I see many good ideas/suggestions.

Mine -

1. Just as one can go into retirement, so also can a person go out of retirement. Go back to a job (perhaps 20-30 hours a week). In my case, I had to do this for financial reasons, but I think I would also be unhappy without my 20 hour a week job. Since you are so near to a military base, it seems like there would be many opportunities for both part time paid employment and volunteer activities.

2. Some have suggested the lack of a wife, etc. is a big part of your problem. In my case, spending more time with my wife would/could be much worse. We also have an adult son in the area - so there are family connections.

3. Become active/involved with a religious type entity. In some cases, you may not even need to belong to that faith or denomination. My wife and I are active in ours. I met her when so involved 40+ years ago - and both of our involvements continue and change from time to time. One such activity that I began with for a year or two at the beginning of my involvement - and was away from for 40 years -- I am back involved again.

4. My guess, as well, is that your military background enables you to be very productive/efficient in doing things -- that might take many of us much more time.

5. Get away from the "unhealthful" things - you may be even worse off if you are both bored and sick.

Yes - what you describe is certainly a "first world" problem. My immigrant maternal grandparents had no such "problem". My grandfather was a lifelong farmer and worked "full time" as a farmer into his 80's. Then, did some farm things part time (had some beef cattle) and spent countless hours on his large garden. My grandmother also stayed very busy as well. I never did this, but I tend to think that, in selecting a career, young folks might think of how they can transition from the career to semi-retirement to retirement.

This is what a longtime friend did in his "retirement" -

He was not married and was employed in a well compensated position with the US Federal Government. He lived modestly. When his parents (then living about 400 miles away) retired, he bought a house and his parents moved in with him. Then his father died, followed a few years later by his mother. I do not recall that he ever had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter) or ever dated. For some reason, as I recall, nobody ever did any matchmaking either. Now, he is in his mid 50's, owning and living in a house by himself - and qualifying for Federal Government retirement. Because one of his parents, in their last years, suffered from senile dementia - he became aware of this issue. A woman (about 50 at the time) had an older husband who suffered from dementia - and the husband died. The two made a connection from this. So, not sure of the exact order, but all within a short time - he retires from the federal Government, he and this woman get married - and they soon decide to adopt multiple small children. He then buys an even bigger house and soon adopt three very young children. The wife, curiously, was married for the first time very young (late teens or early 20's), had a son (who was raised mostly by the son's father), split with that husband and then married the second husband (that ended up with dementia). Their two older children are now in college - and the younger one is in High School.

I certainly would not recommend anything this "extensive" - but shows what some folks actually do "in retirement".

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by PalmQueen » Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:21 pm

Read Younger Next Year co-written by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, MD.
https://www.amazon.com/Younger-Next-Yea ... 076114773X

It explores how to structure your perspective and activities to stay "in the game" throughout life. Dr. Henry S. Lodge provides the scientific data supporting the experiences of his patient, Chris Crowley who puts the doc's advice into practice.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by dm200 » Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:23 pm

PalmQueen wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:21 pm
Read Younger Next Year co-written by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, MD.
https://www.amazon.com/Younger-Next-Yea ... 076114773X

t explores how to structure your perspective and activities to stay "in the game" throughout life. Dr. Henry S. Lodge provides the scientific data supporting the experiences of his patient, Chris Crowley who puts the doc's advice into practice.
Yes - from someone here - that book helped me become motivated to change my life.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Bronko » Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:23 pm

JediMisty wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 5:53 pm
Bronko wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:57 pm
Find a local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. Don't think you're too old or heavy. We have several people where I train that have dropped 75-100 pounds. At least a third of the class is 40 plus. I've met some great people there. It's hard to be depressed when your mind and body are sweating and working on remembering new techniques. Look at Anthony Bourdain in the last 5 years of his life. He never looked more healthy then when he took up the mat.

Best of luck. Many posters with great ideas. Randomly pick three posts and try it. What do you have to lose?
Ummm. Maybe Anthony Bourdain wasn't a great example...
In context I don’t see why not. Yes he ended his life due to deep personal issues but he also credited his new found love of BJJ to improving his health and mental clarity. But feel free to take him out of the equation if you can’t see my point.
Never let a little bit of money get in the way of a real good time.

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Mr.BB » Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:28 pm

I don't understand how anybody can say they're bored?
There is so much to do, learn, participate, experience in life how can you ever say you're bored?
I can list a hundred things to do or learn without even trying that you've probably never done.
What I would recommend is change your daily routine to start with. If you're sleeping in, get up earlier; go workout, learn a new language... The list is endless.
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

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firebirdparts
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by firebirdparts » Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:54 pm

I find that restoring cars destroys all your time and all your money. It's the perfect solution.
A fool and your money are soon partners

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Cyclesafe
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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by Cyclesafe » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:31 am

Like Raybo above, I discovered bicycle touring. (I actually "knew" him before I joined Bogleheads from a bike touring forum!). I've hung up my cleats now, but from age 45 to now (age 65) I traveled roughly 50k miles by bicycle through the US and Canada, mostly camping, mostly alone, but especially at first with groups such as https://www.adventurecycling.org/guided-tours/. I even made the cover of their magazine!

There were plenty of obese people doing this as over a course of a month riding 80 miles per day at 10mph, there is potential for lots of weight loss. I watched one woman lose so much weight during a tour that she had to have smaller Lycra shorts mailed to her! Seeing that relatively rapid success, it was easier for these people to also manage their hunger with more healthier diets when they got home.

Retiring so early is a problem because hardly anyone else you meet around your age is retired. They work and have children. Much older people have grandchildren and aging issues that also suck up the oxygen around you. And they don't tend to want to be around you either.

These days I take walking holidays with DW. We've taken many self-guided trips with https://www.utracks.com/ and https://www.ultimatehikes.co.nz/ and occasionally independently book our own. These will keep us occupied for the next decade at least.

The internet is a wonderful thing. Answers to any question can be posed to search engines and forums. If one is curious, the world can be an interesting place....
"Plans are useless; planning is indispensable.” - Dwight Eisenhower

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Re: Retirement: Filling the time?

Post by lthenderson » Wed Feb 12, 2020 9:45 am

Mr.BB wrote:
Tue Feb 11, 2020 6:28 pm
I don't understand how anybody can say they're bored?
There is so much to do, learn, participate, experience in life how can you ever say you're bored?
I can list a hundred things to do or learn without even trying that you've probably never done.
Some people are wired differently than others. I am like you in that there are a million things I want to do but don't have the time. On the other hand, my wife doesn't and so she continues to work even though we really don't need the income. I don't understand it because it isn't the way I'm wired but it does exist and I've met others just like her.

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