Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

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Keepcalm
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Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Keepcalm » Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:47 pm

So in short, I have a balance issue. For instance, being debt adverse even in situations when it is 0%. In other areas of life, I will not commit to the gym unless I also commit to my diet. In short, my motivation always seems to be dependent, or tangent if you would, on other determining factors. It seems to be a behavioral issue with letting my mind control me, and have me believe mentally that I have to have everything perfectly lined up in order to act upon a goal.

So in short again, books on mind over matter, behavioral changed etc....controlling your mind versus it controlling you.

WorkToLive
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by WorkToLive » Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:51 pm

Check out stoicism philosophy.

“The philosophy asserts that virtue (such as wisdom) is happiness and judgment should be based on behavior, rather than words. That we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses.”

https://dailystoic.com/what-is-stoicism ... u-started/

It helps give me perspective on what is important and not waste time and energy trying to trick myself.

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Sandtrap
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Sandtrap » Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:52 pm

WorkToLive wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:51 pm
Check out stoicism philosophy.

“The philosophy asserts that virtue (such as wisdom) is happiness and judgment should be based on behavior, rather than words. That we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses.”

https://dailystoic.com/what-is-stoicism ... u-started/

It helps give me perspective on what is important and not waste time and energy trying to trick myself.
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Vanguard Fan 1367
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Vanguard Fan 1367 » Sat Aug 03, 2019 2:46 pm

The Power of Positive Thinking

orlandoguy
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by orlandoguy » Sat Aug 03, 2019 3:02 pm

A little different take, but at one time I found this book to be helpful:

The Positive Power Of Negative Thinking: Using Defensive Pessimism to Harness Anxiety and Perform at Your Peak by Julie Norem

Shallowpockets
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Shallowpockets » Sat Aug 03, 2019 3:39 pm

What are you doing here, OP?
You delay exercise because you feel the need to predicate it on diet, now you are kicking the same can down the road with the need for a book to get control of your decisions.
Sounds like a big case of avoidance or you really don't want to do it. Apply that to everything.
After you read the book, you'd have to wait for the movie to come out, right?

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Sandtrap
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Sandtrap » Sat Aug 03, 2019 3:55 pm

Dao De Jing

with daily Tai Chi and Qi Quong practice.

body, mind, spirit.

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Cycle
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Cycle » Sat Aug 03, 2019 4:10 pm

+1 on atomic habits

What doesn't kill us... Book on cold exposure and Wim Hoff method. I take cold showers, 1 minute followed by normal temp shower.

I get the vast majority of my exercise as part of my commute. Bike in, run home. Run in, bike home. Repeat. The run is challenging, but I have no other option unless I want to take a bus home which is super slow so I just do it, even when it's 90% humidity and 96F... Walked a bit on that day.

We have zero sugar / junk food at home. If we want ice cream we walk to dairy Queen (did this two nights this week)

I'm not super disciplined so I have to create these traps for myself to get me to be productive, eat well, and exercise.

My IPS is highly highly optimized to prevent me from messing with allocations. It's all in VTWAX or target funds. I came to this strategy from reading Taylors posts on simplicity on here and reading bh investing book.

I think minimalism declutters ones mind, so I've read Marie condos stuff and listen to the minimalists podcast occasionally. My desk at work has nothing on it but a mouse and keyboard allowing me to focus better. I also have an app on my phone that locks me out of distracting apps during the work day.
Never look back unless you are planning to go that way

josehde
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by josehde » Mon Aug 05, 2019 8:46 am

I find your post really relatable, it ends up with me postponing some goals/restarting because I have this desire to get all things right in the beginning, which of course is often unrealistic. Start Right Where You Are by Sam Bennett is something I came across before. I have not read my recommended book yet but had it saved for the future after seeing a feature on it some time ago.

mernova
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by mernova » Tue Aug 06, 2019 9:42 am

OP check this site out. They coach you with making the changes you need.

https://myshift3.com/

3feetpete
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by 3feetpete » Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:16 pm

OP Are you a perfectionist? Do you have trouble completing tasks because nothing is quite up to your standards?

Calli114
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Calli114 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:44 pm

3feetpete wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:16 pm
OP Are you a perfectionist? Do you have trouble completing tasks because nothing is quite up to your standards?
I wondered the same thing based on what OP said, because I have those tendencies and have to remind myself "Perfect is the enemy of good," otherwise one can get paralyzed by inaction.

TerryDMillerMBA
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by TerryDMillerMBA » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:02 pm

"Perfection is occasionally attainable, while excellence is always attainable."--Terry D. Miller

bloom2708
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by bloom2708 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:12 pm

"People want confirmation, not advice" Unknown | "We are here to provoke thoughtfulness, not agree with you" Unknown | Four words: Whole food, plant based

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Tyler Aspect
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by Tyler Aspect » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:24 pm

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Past result does not predict future performance. Mentioned investments may lose money. Contents are presented "AS IS" and any implied suitability for a particular purpose are disclaimed.

FI4LIFE
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by FI4LIFE » Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:04 pm

Skip the books and go right for meditation. For me (when I actually do it), the greatest benefit is mental clarity.

50/50
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by 50/50 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:38 pm

The Holy Bible works for me.

3feetpete
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by 3feetpete » Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:59 pm


megabad
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by megabad » Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:05 pm

Keepcalm wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 1:47 pm
So in short, I have a balance issue. For instance, being debt adverse even in situations when it is 0%. In other areas of life, I will not commit to the gym unless I also commit to my diet. In short, my motivation always seems to be dependent, or tangent if you would, on other determining factors. It seems to be a behavioral issue with letting my mind control me, and have me believe mentally that I have to have everything perfectly lined up in order to act upon a goal.

So in short again, books on mind over matter, behavioral changed etc....controlling your mind versus it controlling you.
Your sentiments do not seem abnormal to me. It seems you are aware of a your preferences and want to change them. In my experience books will help with awareness, but not with change. Change is motivated from inside. If you want to take out a 0% loan, just do it. If you want to go for a random workout without dieting, get a free one day guest pass and hit a gym. I challenge you to do the opposite of reading...do some writing. Write down the things you want to change and the specific steps you are going to take and then stick a deadline next to them. Do them one small step at a time. Post them on the refrigerator and tell everybody what they are. If you have close friends or a spouse, they will motivate you either through embarassment or encouragement.

shell921
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by shell921 » Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:20 am

FI4LIFE wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:04 pm
Skip the books and go right for meditation. For me (when I actually do it), the greatest benefit is mental clarity.
YES !!! I learned to meditate 3 years ago and I wish I had learned sooner. Meditation brings mental clarity and peace and allows us to
observe our thoughts rather than get caught up in them or overwhelmed by them.

RollTide31457
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by RollTide31457 » Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:22 am

50/50 wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:38 pm
The Holy Bible works for me.
This is the correct answer.

-ryan-
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by -ryan- » Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:32 am

I have a lot of the same mental/behavioral blocks.

This is outside of your original question, but I have found that isolating myself from social media, news media, and popular media has helped me immensely in clearing my mind of others' opinions and finding my own. I don't live in a cabin in the woods (though some days I want to), but I actively avoid allowing media of all types to intrude on my thoughts without my invitation. Bogleheads is one of the few websites I regularly visit.

Similarly, we live in an age of almost universal access to information. This has definitely been harmful to those of us (like myself) who suffer from 'analysis paralysis'. Even relatively small decisions can be excrutiatingly difficult to make when you research too much in the effort to arrive at the optimal solution. The perfect is the enemy of the good, and sometimes you just have to dive in and make some mistakes.

These are some things that have helped me, at least. I am interested in seeing some of the book selections people provide, because I love reading.

Good luck!

surfstar
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by surfstar » Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:58 pm

RollTide31457 wrote:
Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:22 am
50/50 wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:38 pm
The Holy Bible works for me.
This is the correct answer.
Agreed. The Bible works well to control minds.

DemySD
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Re: Books on gaining control of your mind/behavior

Post by DemySD » Thu Aug 08, 2019 1:08 pm

Many strange answers in this thread amounting to "deceive or handcuff yourself." Doesn't sound like there's much actual self control going on here. Makes you wonder what happens when life wanders outside of the safe space...

Respect to the people meditating/practicing martial arts, though. You guys are unflinching.

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