Long commute: how to manage?

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Cardio
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Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cardio » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:23 pm

My daily commute is about to increase from 15 minutes one way to over 1 hour, most highway with intermittent, unpredictable heavy traffic. The reasons are complex, but essentially our family needs to move closer to aging relatives with declining health. Getting a new job closer to our new home would mean a 40% pay cut and loss of nearly 20 years of seniority in my current position. So we are renting a house near the aging family and putting the kids into new schools, while I keep my current job.

Every study has shown that long commutes decrease happiness and increase the risk of martial strife. Currently my life and marriage are happy, and I want to keep it that way!

Any practical suggestions on how to deal with a long commute?
There is no public transportation between the new home and work.
Uber/Lyft is about $70-75 one way.
I cannot work from home or adjust my work hours to a more commute-friendly time.
The seat of my 2012 Honda Pilot is rock hard and hurts my back after driving an hour, but the car is otherwise in great shape.

Edited for clarity.
Last edited by Cardio on Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HEDGEFUNDIE
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by HEDGEFUNDIE » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:28 pm

Buy a used Cadillac CT6 with Super Cruise.

Soft seats, luxury ride, self-driving.

https://www.autotrader.com/car-news/you ... 4979917479

https://youtu.be/S7MmwGrvwrs

https://youtu.be/R_WcDjoeEyE
Last edited by HEDGEFUNDIE on Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thegame14
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Thegame14 » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:32 pm

find some podcasts that you enjoy a lot!!!

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AerialWombat
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by AerialWombat » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:36 pm

Carpool?
Spend a few hundred bucks on a new seat?
Get an Audible subscription?
Can you work remotely a couple days a week?
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fabdog
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by fabdog » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:44 pm

The new commute is not ideal for you... but don't forget your spouse and kids are making some changes as well (new town, new schools, etc)

It will be a stress adder for everyone.

In the past I had long commutes so the spouse and kids didn't have to move... audible was good to listen to books since I had less time for reading.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by IowaFarmWife » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:47 pm

I've had some pretty long commutes with my job, too, and I keep my sanity by listening to podcasts and audio books.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by mighty72 » Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:55 pm

My commute is anywhere from 45-75 minutes one way. Listening to podcasts help.
A more comfortable car will help for sure and also look for something with better fuel efficiency or fuel costs will start adding up. I wouldn't buy the new car right away though; give yourself a few months and see if you can carpool.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by BionicBillWalsh » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:20 am

Get a Tesla with full self driving. It'll do 90+% of the commute for you and take away a lot of the fatigue of this trip, leaving you fresh for your family on arrival.

The Model X specifically is considered one of the safest, if not the safest vehicle on the road. During NHTSA testing, Tesla was unable to flip over the vehicle.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by darrvao777 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:27 am

It depends on what your commute looks like too

Mine is also an hour but it is against traffic with rare bumper to bumper

I ended up getting a manual transmission car, keeps me more engaged and there are days I look forward to the commute and rowing my own gears

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by JBeck » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:33 am

Work from home 2 days a week
Last edited by JBeck on Fri Jul 26, 2019 7:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

ponyboy
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by ponyboy » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:59 am

Start listening to podcasts. Ditch the radio. This helps me anyway.

I commute 1 hour each way, all highway with little traffic. My wife works half from home, and half in another state, which she drives to. 150 miles one way, stays in a hotel for a night or two, then drives back and finishes the week working remote. For her, long term, its not sustainable. She wants to get 10 years in with this outfit, she has a little over 6 years at the moment. Or, they're going to have to let her work 100% from home, as they do other employees scattered around the country.

There isnt much you can do to make the commute great. Its going to chip away at your mental state. I dont complain about my simple 1 hour commute each way considering what shes going through, but it still sucks. You have less time for yourself and your family. You're going to have 1.5 hours less time with everyone. Like someone else mentioned, see if you can work from home 1 or 2 days a week. Thats about all you can do.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:21 am

An hour is not unusual around me and I've had coworkers commuting an hour and a half. I drove for 8 years in a Honda CRX-Si which was great. Bike in the back to ride at lunch time, fun twisty roads about half way. Gave me plenty of time to unwind. But I love driving and would rather drive from Boston to Phoenix for work training than fly.

Other job was an hour going into heavy traffic, heading east towards Boston in the morning. I made sure I was familiar with every alternative way to get to work so that when an accident, road work or just overly heavy traffic stopped my progress, I could bail and take another way.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Watty » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:27 am

If you can fit it into your budget then one tradeoff would be hire people to do things like yard work, house cleaning, car repairs, etc that you would normally do yourself. If effect you would be buying back some of your commute time that you can spend with your family.

One thing to watch out for is that when I had a longish commute one of the things that it impacted was my getting exercise in the evening when I got home from work. When you have a long commute there is also more of tendency to get takeout food instead of making healthier meals yourself.

You local library may likely has audible books you can checkout or download online. If you are in an area where the libraries are done by the county then you would normally use the counties library where you live. It may be possible to also use the counties library where you work too. The reason is that your employer may be paying property taxes that support the library. There have been thread about audible books you can look up to get more tips.

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prudent
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by prudent » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:38 am

The work from home idea is a good one, but your employer may not agree.

I'd start immediately with getting a car that doesn't hurt your back. A long commute is tough enough without being in pain twice a day. If you love the car other than the seat, consider an ergonomic aftermarket car seat like a Recaro. They're pricey, but a friend who has one says it was the only way he could manage his long days in the car.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by tennisplyr » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:41 am

I've had long commutes in the past. I admire you for doing what it takes... It is imperative that you maximize your comfort in the car. Actually you will get used to it, try not to fight it. This too shall pass.
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by SuperSaver1975 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:42 am

Audiobooks!

I've gained a huge amount of knowledge listening to non-fiction audiobooks while driving. When driving the commute is almost automatic and you don't have to think very much, it's not a bad environment for your brain to absorb some information. I also like adjusting the playback speed, I often listen to books at 1.5-times or 2-times speed. Since I switched to audiobooks (generally) over music/radio, I never mind a long drive too much. I'm still doing something I value, even when stuck in traffic. The ~100 books I listened to on health and nutrition have vastly enhanced my family's quality of life.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by mmmodem » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:48 am

I used to have a 1 hour one way commute which can balloon to 2 hours coming home on bad days. Here's what I did.

1. Car pool. This only worked early in my career. As my assignments became more complex, my hours varied too much.
2. Go to work early and come home early. Instead of 8-5, I did 6:30-3:30. If I go to work at 5 in the morning I avoid morning rush hour completely. Afternoon rush hour can't be avoided but if I leave before 4, I miss the worst of it. All 3 of my carpoolers always chose a longer route home. I asked one of them why and he said sitting traffic causes him stress. He'd rather drive further and longer to avoid stop and go traffic.
3. Podcasts and audiobooks. Oftentimes, I found myself sitting at work and the garage after driving an hour waiting for the chapter to end.
4. Buy an electric vehicle if applicable for solo HOV access. This saves me at a minimum 30 minutes a day and lower toll charges.
5. Self driving car. I rented a car with Lane Keep Assist. (LKA) It's not quite self driving yet but it did a reasonable job in keeping the vehicle in it's lane. One of my sources of stress and constant fear was falling asleep behind the wheel.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Smoke » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:51 am

For the first 15 yrs of my career I had a 1 hr commute, way back then we had CB's amazing how the time flew by with 20 or so engaged on the radio moving down the same hwy.
Then I moved and had a 6 min commute :D

Today I guess audio books, music, anything to help pass the time. But for me conversation helped a great deal.

I miss the days of CB.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by csm » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:51 am

I echo the above suggestions of audiobooks, a comfortable and/or fuel efficient car, and asking to work from home as often as might be reasonable depending on your job.

Another idea would be adjusting your hours, i.e. can you go into work an hour earlier so you can come home an hour earlier which might be during less traffic, so shorter commute time, plus you'd have more time with the family when you get home. If you do this, just remember to adjust your bed time hours to continue to get sufficient sleep.

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Cardio
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cardio » Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:56 pm

HEDGEFUNDIE wrote:
Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:28 pm
Buy a used Cadillac CT6 with Super Cruise.

Soft seats, luxury ride, self-driving.

https://www.autotrader.com/car-news/you ... 4979917479

https://youtu.be/S7MmwGrvwrs

https://youtu.be/R_WcDjoeEyE
Do you own a CT6 with Super Cruise? How well does it work? I'm somewhat suspicious of these technologies -- there's such a rush from mgmt to get them out, so I fear there is a huge temptation to cut corners, etc.


Thanks for all the replies! I edited my OP to clarify that I can't adjust my hours, work from home, or car pool

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by rebellovw » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:01 pm

BionicBillWalsh wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:20 am
Get a Tesla with full self driving. It'll do 90+% of the commute for you and take away a lot of the fatigue of this trip, leaving you fresh for your family on arrival.

The Model X specifically is considered one of the safest, if not the safest vehicle on the road. During NHTSA testing, Tesla was unable to flip over the vehicle.
How can that be safe? I'd fall asleep if i was letting the car drive for 2 hours - what is the point? No way - I'd be the one driving and on the clock - not the car.

Like others have said - get a nice stereo - and simply drive. I did lots of thinking while doing this - it can be relaxing if you do not get too tense about everything.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by JupiterJones » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:04 pm

BionicBillWalsh wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:20 am
Get a Tesla with full self driving.
Might be cheaper to just get a new job and take the pay cut. :D
Stay on target...

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by oldcomputerguy » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:15 pm

Another vote for listening to podcasts. Before I retired, my daily commute was 25-30 minutes each way, it made the time go by quickly.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by badger42 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:27 pm

Assuming you haven't already signed on the dotted line... is there a reason you can't move the relatives closer to you instead?

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by HEDGEFUNDIE » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:33 pm

Cardio wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:56 pm
HEDGEFUNDIE wrote:
Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:28 pm
Buy a used Cadillac CT6 with Super Cruise.

Soft seats, luxury ride, self-driving.

https://www.autotrader.com/car-news/you ... 4979917479

https://youtu.be/S7MmwGrvwrs

https://youtu.be/R_WcDjoeEyE
Do you own a CT6 with Super Cruise? How well does it work? I'm somewhat suspicious of these technologies -- there's such a rush from mgmt to get them out, so I fear there is a huge temptation to cut corners, etc.


Thanks for all the replies! I edited my OP to clarify that I can't adjust my hours, work from home, or car pool
Perhaps true of Tesla but not true of GM. This system has been in development for years.

I do not own one but I have test driven one on the highway. The ability to go hands off for miles at a time is scary at first, and then you get used to it. Definitely something to experience.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by 7eight9 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:35 pm

BionicBillWalsh wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:20 am
Get a Tesla with full self driving. It'll do 90+% of the commute for you and take away a lot of the fatigue of this trip, leaving you fresh for your family on arrival.

The Model X specifically is considered one of the safest, if not the safest vehicle on the road. During NHTSA testing, Tesla was unable to flip over the vehicle.
I'm not so sure trusting technology to drive the car is a good idea for the OP. Tesla's Autopilot is not infallible. A quick Google search found at least one Tesla Model X was involved in a single vehicle fatality while in Autopilot mode last year.

The family of a man killed in a fiery wreck last year while driving his Tesla along U.S. Route 101 in California is suing the electric vehicle maker, alleging wrongful death and negligence stemming from failures and false promises regarding the Autopilot driver-assistance system.
Walter Huang, a 38-year-old Apple engineer, was driving his Tesla Model X SUV in Mountain View, Calif., on Autopilot mode in March 2018 when it sped up to 71 mph and crashed into a safety barrier, killing Huang and leaving behind a heap of charred wreckage.

Link to Washington Post article --- https://www.washingtonpost.com/technolo ... c3c0d240ac

Link to complaint --- https://app.box.com/s/u5t1wh9n1l86rwdt7 ... 9818557789

My wife used to have a 1+ hour commute. It was mainly on a lightly traveled highway. She found it quite tolerable driving a mid-sized sedan. Driving a smaller compact car was not as pleasant.

Edited to add link to complaint.
Last edited by 7eight9 on Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by BionicBillWalsh » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:46 pm

7eight9 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:35 pm
BionicBillWalsh wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 2:20 am
Get a Tesla with full self driving. It'll do 90+% of the commute for you and take away a lot of the fatigue of this trip, leaving you fresh for your family on arrival.

The Model X specifically is considered one of the safest, if not the safest vehicle on the road. During NHTSA testing, Tesla was unable to flip over the vehicle.
I'm not so sure trusting technology to drive the car is a good idea for the OP. Tesla's Autopilot is not infallible. A quick Google search found at least one Tesla Model X was involved in a single vehicle fatality while in Autopilot mode last year.

The family of a man killed in a fiery wreck last year while driving his Tesla along U.S. Route 101 in California is suing the electric vehicle maker, alleging wrongful death and negligence stemming from failures and false promises regarding the Autopilot driver-assistance system.
Walter Huang, a 38-year-old Apple engineer, was driving his Tesla Model X SUV in Mountain View, Calif., on Autopilot mode in March 2018 when it sped up to 71 mph and crashed into a safety barrier, killing Huang and leaving behind a heap of charred wreckage.

Link to Washington Post article --- https://www.washingtonpost.com/technolo ... c3c0d240ac

My wife used to have a 1+ hour commute. It was mainly on a lightly traveled highway. She found it quite tolerable driving a mid-sized sedan. Driving a smaller compact car was not as pleasant.
I'm going to only speak from my personal experience and not hearsay read on the internet. I've had my model S for over 4.5 yrs. It has the first generation of autopilot. My wife has a Model X now for 3 years. She also has the first generation autopilot. We have a combined 80k miles, probably 50k of those driven on autopilot.

I use my autopilot nearly daily in very congested, busy traffic. You have to pay attention, just as pilots flying passenger jets are always keeping an eye on autopilot controls when in the sky. But it is very trustworthy, and makes long trips quite tolerable as the second to second minutia is taken care of by the vehicle. There are certainly times when I take over the controls as traffic situations are often wonky and unpredictable.

I'm not sure how non-Tesla "autopilot" technology works, but the ultrasonic sensors that Tesla possesses see several cars ahead of you, and even in situations where I cannot see in front of the vehicle in front of me, my car does and can respond appropriately. In that regard, it is safer than a human driver.

In a non-busy, open interstate scenario, it is a dream to experience.
Last edited by BionicBillWalsh on Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Cardio
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cardio » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:48 pm

badger42 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:27 pm
Assuming you haven't already signed on the dotted line... is there a reason you can't move the relatives closer to you instead?
We considered that idea, but they have very few friends who speak their native language, and they are already super depressed from their health issues. Also, the school district in our area is going down the tubes, so we were strongly considering a move anyway.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cycle » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:53 pm

Some folks avoid traffic by biking the last leg of their journey, but most cities don't have streets designed for anything but cars/buses so this is probably a non-starter if you are in the US.

i'd take the 40% pay-cut, but we are a dual income family so not the end of the world.

This is an excellent example of how the personal cars ability to transport people long distances usually complicates life more than it simplifies.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by H-Town » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:56 pm

Cardio wrote:
Thu Jul 25, 2019 11:23 pm
My daily commute is about to increase from 15 minutes one way to over 1 hour, most highway with intermittent, unpredictable heavy traffic. The reasons are complex, but essentially our family needs to move closer to aging relatives with declining health. Getting a new job closer to our new home would mean a 40% pay cut and loss of nearly 20 years of seniority in my current position. So we are renting a house near the aging family and putting the kids into new schools, while I keep my current job.

Every study has shown that long commutes decrease happiness and increase the risk of martial strife. Currently my life and marriage are happy, and I want to keep it that way!

Any practical suggestions on how to deal with a long commute?
There is no public transportation between the new home and work.
Uber/Lyft is about $70-75 one way.
I cannot work from home or adjust my work hours to a more commute-friendly time.
The seat of my 2012 Honda Pilot is rock hard and hurts my back after driving an hour, but the car is otherwise in great shape.

Edited for clarity.
Don't worry about it too much. Human has a powerful ability to adapt. You'll do fine. Just sit back and enjoy the commute. Don't be like most people who just want to race towards the red lights... Be happy and content. That'll cost you nothing versus buying a CT6 or a Tesla Model S.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by MrJones » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:05 pm

I'd ask:

What's the *net* pay cut? After taxes and after commute costs (new car, fuel, etc.)

How much do you value individual and family happiness?

I'd also think harder about alternatives: how can you define a career path to quickly reach your desired seniority in a job that's very close to where you live?

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by jjface » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:18 pm

Is there no possibility of the aging relatives to move close to you?

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by bloom2708 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:19 pm

I too would look at this new commute as 'a person can do most anything for a short period of time'.

2+ hours lost to commuting every day would be un-sustainable for the long term.

See how it goes and adapt on the fly.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by sk2101 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:26 pm

Looking at your username, do you workout? If so, you can workout near your office before/after work and avoid peak traffic hours.
I have a similar commute, but if I drive at 6AM it only takes me 30 min. So I drive at 6AM to the gym and work out from 6:30 to 8:00 and then go to the office. Much more efficient use of my time.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by DVMResident » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:50 pm

Audiobooks: audible
Podcasts: lots of great options (manager tools is a favorite for me)

If you are getting a new car for the seat, get CarPlay as well to play the audio through the speakers.

...

Flex time: Working from home or 4/10s can reduce the commuting time per week. Also shifted hours to avoid traffic can help a lot.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by abuss368 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm

Tesla will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Last edited by abuss368 on Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by barnaclebob » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:57 pm

abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Telstra will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Don't bet on it.

OP, why not move the relatives closer to you? How long do you think you will be in this new living situation? How old are your kids?

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Jeep4Life » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:16 pm

I commute 3 hours on Mon, then 3 hours on Thu when I return home. I stay in a hotel during the weeknights I am away, sort of a PITA but after 9 months I have gotten used to it. My situation is somewhat different than yours, just wanted to give you a different idea of what is out in the world. For you, I would suggest you trade in the Pilot for something that is more comfortable and or fun to drive, and then always remember to focus on the why, rather than the what, of your commute. Good Luck!

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by DVMResident » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:22 pm

Other thought on the new car: adaptive cruise control can really help with the repetitive motion of hitting the gas and break.

My list for a commuter car: CarPlay, good seats, adaptive cruise control, and decent mpg.

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by abuss368 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:51 pm

barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:57 pm
abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Telstra will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Don't bet on it.

OP, why not move the relatives closer to you? How long do you think you will be in this new living situation? How old are your kids?
Don’t bet against Musk! Article is WSJ not to long ago about the potential of a fleet when you are not using your car with a discounted cash flow value of $200,000. It was crazy!
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by elcadarj » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:51 pm

DVMResident wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:22 pm
Other thought on the new car: adaptive cruise control can really help with the repetitive motion of hitting the gas and break.

My list for a commuter car: CarPlay, good seats, adaptive cruise control, and decent mpg.
+1 on CarPlay, good car, etc. Also Audible and Podcasts. I used to have a 45m commute out, 55m commute back, the local morning drive time radio was turning my mind to mush. Audible saved me. Engineering major in college, not much room for the liberal arts, using Audible I found that I am especially interested in 19th century Russian and Victorian literature, Turgenev, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Dickens, Elliot, Trollope. Who knew? I'd find myself sitting in the car in the parking lot waiting for the end of the chapter, commute wasn't long enough.

BV3273
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by BV3273 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:55 pm

I drive a lot for work. To the tune of 30k miles per year is a conservative estimate. Pandora & good talk radio gets me through the day.

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abuss368
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by abuss368 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:57 pm

Read another crazy article that steering wheels will be out of cars soon enough!
John C. Bogle - Two Fund Portfolio: Total Stock & Total Bond. "Simplicity is the master key to financial success."

7eight9
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by 7eight9 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:13 pm

abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Tesla will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
New York Times article titled Despite High Hopes, Self-Driving Cars Are ‘Way in the Future’ this week says otherwise.

The industry’s unbridled confidence was quickly dented when a self-driving car being tested by Uber hit and killed a woman walking a bicycle across a street last year in Tempe, Ariz. A safety driver was at the wheel of the vehicle, but was watching a TV show on her phone just before the crash, according to the Tempe Police Department.
Since that fatality, “almost everybody has reset their expectations,” Mr. Abuelsamid said. It was believed to be the first pedestrian death involving a self-driving vehicle. Elsewhere in the United States, three Tesla drivers have died in crashes that occurred while the company’s Autopilot driver-assistance system was engaged and both it and the drivers failed to detect and react to hazards.


Link to article --- https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/17/busi ... -cars.html

I think for the OP the best deal is to get a comfortable car (or make present car more comfortable as some have recommended with a different seat) and make the best of the commute listening to the radio, podcasts, audio books, etc. Sometimes you have to grin and bear it at least for a little while.
I guess it all could be much worse. | They could be warming up my hearse.

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abuss368
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by abuss368 » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:17 pm

7eight9 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:13 pm
abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Tesla will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
New York Times article titled Despite High Hopes, Self-Driving Cars Are ‘Way in the Future’ this week says otherwise.

The industry’s unbridled confidence was quickly dented when a self-driving car being tested by Uber hit and killed a woman walking a bicycle across a street last year in Tempe, Ariz. A safety driver was at the wheel of the vehicle, but was watching a TV show on her phone just before the crash, according to the Tempe Police Department.
Since that fatality, “almost everybody has reset their expectations,” Mr. Abuelsamid said. It was believed to be the first pedestrian death involving a self-driving vehicle. Elsewhere in the United States, three Tesla drivers have died in crashes that occurred while the company’s Autopilot driver-assistance system was engaged and both it and the drivers failed to detect and react to hazards.


Link to article --- https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/17/busi ... -cars.html

I think for the OP the best deal is to get a comfortable car (or make present car more comfortable as some have recommended with a different seat) and make the best of the commute listening to the radio, podcasts, audio books, etc. Sometimes you have to grin and bear it at least for a little while.
Sad and unfortunate. Never knew that.

Thanks.
John C. Bogle - Two Fund Portfolio: Total Stock & Total Bond. "Simplicity is the master key to financial success."

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Cardio
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cardio » Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:55 pm

barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:57 pm
abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Telstra will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Don't bet on it.

OP, why not move the relatives closer to you? How long do you think you will be in this new living situation? How old are your kids?
The relatives live in a community of people their age who also speak their native language. Our current town is much more homogeneous.

As their health has declined, it would have been even more difficult for them to lose all their friends. They're not bad enough for a nursing home or assisted living, so social connections are still a priority.

Kids are in 3rd and 6th grades, so we're looking at 10 years+

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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Traveler » Fri Jul 26, 2019 7:17 pm

Cardio wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:55 pm
barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:57 pm
abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Telstra will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Don't bet on it.

OP, why not move the relatives closer to you? How long do you think you will be in this new living situation? How old are your kids?
The relatives live in a community of people their age who also speak their native language. Our current town is much more homogeneous.

As their health has declined, it would have been even more difficult for them to lose all their friends. They're not bad enough for a nursing home or assisted living, so social connections are still a priority.

Kids are in 3rd and 6th grades, so we're looking at 10 years+

So given this, why do you have to be right next door to them? Why can't you/your spouse/kids visit on the weekend?

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Cardio
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Cardio » Fri Jul 26, 2019 8:22 pm

Traveler wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 7:17 pm
Cardio wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 6:55 pm
barnaclebob wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:57 pm
abuss368 wrote:
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:52 pm
Telstra will come out with driverless cars soon enough.
Don't bet on it.

OP, why not move the relatives closer to you? How long do you think you will be in this new living situation? How old are your kids?
The relatives live in a community of people their age who also speak their native language. Our current town is much more homogeneous.

As their health has declined, it would have been even more difficult for them to lose all their friends. They're not bad enough for a nursing home or assisted living, so social connections are still a priority.

Kids are in 3rd and 6th grades, so we're looking at 10 years+

So given this, why do you have to be right next door to them? Why can't you/your spouse/kids visit on the weekend?
Sorry, was trying to be concise in explaining a very complicated situation. The neighborhood and schools where we live are going down the tubes, not just some up/down decline (we'd ride that out), but to the point where we truly fear for DW and the kids' safety, eg, DW attacked by student on school property and nothing done, etc. etc.

But I want to focus on my OP. The point is that we've thought about it, and it is the best decision for everyone in the fam, except for me w/my commute.

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leeks
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by leeks » Fri Jul 26, 2019 8:43 pm

If you don't want to consider jobs in the new location, I would be looking for other jobs in the old location that might be more friendly toward partial work from home arrangements and shifting hours to avoid peak traffic. And if it is at all possible with the kind of work you do now (and company just won't allow it), I might ask for those options instead of a raise at your next review period. Even consider some shifting of responsibilities or a slightly different role with current employer if it could get you more flexibility.

But you will get used to it. I would think about it one year at a time...so on the days it really sucks think of yourself as only committed to doing this until next summer when you can reevaluate and reconsider other options as applicable. I could probably put up with a commute like that for one year to facilitate other family priorities...but not for 10 years.

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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Long commute: how to manage?

Post by Doom&Gloom » Fri Jul 26, 2019 8:52 pm

I may have missed this--if so, my apologies--but is there a possibility of moving closer, but not as close, as you are currently considering? Would that be close enough?

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