Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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jdv01
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Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by jdv01 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:36 pm

Survived the first week of retirement not sure about week two. I ended up retiring a year earlier then I had planned for due to a small buy out from my employer who was trying to downsize. My family was very much in favor of me retiring early. Luckily I turned 65 last month. I had already applied for Medicare Part A just to have that out of way so spent Monday morning trying to figure out how to apply for Part B. Found the right form and got that filled out and mailed to my local Social Security Office. Since I'm still within the initial enrollment period I figure it should go Ok. My wife who doesn't have the neccessary 40 quarters since she is a SAHM has a phone interview in a couple of weeks. We have the paperwork to prove insurance coverage so I think she will be Ok to be covered under my work record and shouldn't be penalized for signing up late.

Sitting here with a knot in my stomach worrying that I should have worked a year longer and feeling a bit worthless because I don't have a job. I read an article recently titled "Think you are ready for retirement? You probably aren't." Or something similar. The point was that many retirees have their finances in order but aren't emotionally prepared for the big change that comes with retirement. I know I'm not prepared. I thought I had another year to get emotionally prepared instead I had just a couple of weeks.

I have a whole list of things to do around the house including lots of gardening which I enjoy. I do photography as a hobby and sell a bit on the side. But at the end of the day I feel like I've worked hard but that I'm not contributing to society. Which is something I never felt when I was working. I have lots of volunteer opportunities I hope to do but right now I have terrible sciatica which limits what I can do. Walking can be extremely painful at times and most mornings it takes a while to get the kinks out and sometimes lots of pain meds too. That is part of why my family wanted me to retire so that I could work on fixing that issue. So getting my health in order is job one. I think if I was doing that and still had a job to return to I wouldn't feel the same. My ex-employer has talked about trying to get me back as a contractor after I have been gone a month - that is the a rule that you have to be gone a month when you retire before coming back as a contractor. The wife says she is against me returning as a contractor but I'm seriously considering it just to feel like I'm still contributing. But who knows maybe in a few weeks I will have turned the corner emotionally.

Anyone have ideas on how to make the transition easier?

I am one of those people who would work when they are sick rather take a sick day since I always felt I was cheating my employer. Always took my computer with me on vacation and checked email and logged in to check for issues at night.
I checked email all the way up until Sunday evening eventhough my last work day was Friday. Hope this gets easier sooner rather than later. I know it sounds like I'm complaining about having to eat cake and ice cream and I know this is a problem that many would love to have but it really isn't as easy as it sounds.

Thanks
jdv01

One of he the IT managers reached out to me today to let me know he has beening thinking about me and wanting to know how things are going. He said he is 99% of the way to getting a contractor position opened for me if I'm interested. It would be part time and mostly stuff I could do from home. I'm a sucker for anyone who needs help and I know they do so at this point just trying to be realistic. I know they can figure out a way without me coming back but I also know it would be much easier for them if I came back even part time. I've helped design and build almost everything in their current IT enviroment and know all of the key players in the corporate group. Starting with a new contractor would be a lot of work for them especially since it would be for just 1 year. I have a few weeks to think about it since I would have to wait until August 1st to start. Maybe by then I will be happy to stay retired.

jdv01
Last edited by jdv01 on Mon Jul 08, 2019 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

WhyNotKnow
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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by WhyNotKnow » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:03 pm

A man in my neighborhood “retired” into a hobby/business of making pottery, he enjoys it and sells once a week at the local farmers market.
However he has always said the most important and most rewarding second career is the time he volunteers at the infusion center for a local oncology group. Helping both patients and staff is very rewarding to him. And it shows.

After my Dad retired he kept busy to the point where he would say”I don’t know how I ever had time to work.

Best of luck.

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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by SevenBridgesRoad » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:17 pm

There are so many different kinds of people. You'll find folks on this board who want to retire early, those who never want to retire, those who retire and then go back to work, and those who retire and are extremely happy and satisfied in their retirement. I'm in this last category.

If you are a reader/study kind of person, pick up a copy of What Color is Your Parachute For Retirement by Nelson and Bolles. Since you didn't get a chance to truly prepare, this book may be helpful in backing up and doing some of the work and thinking now.

On the lighter side (and a little too goofy for some folks), you might read The Joy of Not Working by Zelinski. It does offer a really different way of looking at life.

If it were me, I wouldn't jump right back into work. Take a few months to decompress and orient and adjust. Structure your time. Spend time reading the above books; make it your short term project to plan your retirement now (the non-financial parts).
Retired 2018 | Every day I choose how I spend my energy | One Vanguard TDF except for bunch of individual stocks...still recovering from my Fidelity AUM days years ago | Now sleeping well at night

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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by IowaFarmBoy » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 pm

I had one of those "ruh-roh" moments a year or so ago when there were rumors of buyouts coming at my company and I realized I could be done in a few weeks without any real plan. Fortunately (I think!) they didn't materialize and I didn't have to worry about it. It sounds like you were kind of caught in this situation. I've watched several friends go through a frenzy for the first 6 months or so but then run out of household projects and struggle so I think you are asking good questions.

At this point, I plan to retire in about a year at age 62. I plan to take 6 months to re-calibrate and decompress- just kind of enjoy the freedom but after that, I have been looking into some volunteer opportunities that should give me something to do and sense of purpose. Some of those 6 months will be spent figuring out what I really want to do.

I think there has been some good advice above from SevenBridges- basically make figuring out what you want to do one of your projects. Do some reading and soul-searching and figure out what you need to do to give yourself joy and meaning.

Rus In Urbe
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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by Rus In Urbe » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:35 pm

How about:
1. sign up for specific days for the volunteering
2. get to the local YMCA and get a trainer to work with you other days
3. splurge on some massage or therapy for that sciatica (rolfing is good)
4. be patient with yourself---it's a transition.

CONGRATS on your retirement! Find ways to enjoy what you've earned! :beer :sharebeer :beer
I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by LadyGeek » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:36 pm

This thread is now in the Personal Consumer Issues forum (how you spend your money and your time).

I also retitled the thread for clarity. The OP can change the thread title further by editing the Subject: line in Post #1.
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by LadyGeek » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:39 pm

I also suggest you "join" the discussion thread: Roll Call for the Retirement Class of 2019! It's full of members in the same situation as you (retired in 2019).
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.

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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by GerryL » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:41 pm

Realized this AM that today is the 5th anniversary of the day I officially retired! Can't believe it has been that long. I keep thinking it is like, maybe, 3 years.

Like the OP I retired a year earlier than planned -- long planned -- because I was offered a buyout. In the year or so leading up to retirement, I started making a list of things to do when I was retired, from little things like cleaning the garage and visiting a nearby historical site to bigger endeavors like taking classes and long trips.

Taking care of your health is your first job. Finding ways to enjoy your time and good fortune is your other job. If you are the kind of person who needs structure in your life, start by structuring your days and weeks around those two important tasks.

PS I am not the kind of person who needs structure, so what do I know? But, hey, I finally started cleaning the garage this week.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Vulcan » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:42 pm

Have you read all the books you wanted to read?
If you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything. ~Ronald Coase

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by fposte » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:59 pm

I'm thinking about this transition myself and have been reading a lot of retirement threads here in preparation.

I liked one post so much I copied it, unfortunately without attribution, and I can't find it through search now. But somebody posted his concept of "The Big Four"--four activities that would allow him, at the end of the day, to say "This was a good day." His were physical activity, learning a language, playing musical instruments, and following a creative pursuit, but they could be anything. I thought for somebody like me, who's prone to spinning her wheels without a plan and then feeling bad about it, this was a really useful concept.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by TTBG » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:01 pm

Congratulations on your retirement! It will probably take some time to adjust since it happened earlier than you were expecting. I think the most important thing for you to do next is to concentrate on your health. Get physical therapy and/or start a regular exercise routine (with your doctor's OK). Convince yourself that concentrating on your own physical well-being is a worthwhile project. After all, you need to be healthy in order to contribute fully to your next "job" no matter whether that job is contracting, volunteering, or working around your house.

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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by SevenBridgesRoad » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:11 pm

IowaFarmBoy wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:28 pm
At this point, I plan to retire in about a year at age 62. I plan to take 6 months to re-calibrate and decompress- just kind of enjoy the freedom...
I like your approach. My wife and I planned a 3-month car road trip. I took the first month after retirement to decompress. Then we hit the road! What a blast. It was a good exercise in learning how to meander and chill. Lots of short distance days, and if we wanted to detour to see The Worlds Largest Ball of String or whatever, we did. When we got back in town, I was fully and mentally retired!
Retired 2018 | Every day I choose how I spend my energy | One Vanguard TDF except for bunch of individual stocks...still recovering from my Fidelity AUM days years ago | Now sleeping well at night

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by PoppyA » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:25 pm

You need more time to to unwind IMHO.

It took me a year to chill out!

Realistically, what difference would 1year make? Give it time, watch and see how the money works now. It will surprise you! Everything will work out.
“Your labor income makes you rich, not your investments.”

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Socrates » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:42 pm

In regards to the sciatica....first and foremost sorry about your pain. - there is nothing worse.

unless you have a herniated disc or spinal stenosis......go to a legit physical therapist and get checked out

In my 40s I injured myself and had horrible back pain. Went to a doctor who recommended surgery. Saw a PT at the recommendation of another pain management doctor. The PT said my pelvis was misaligned due to a trauma(e.g., lifting something heavy). Did some realignment things - pain disappeared. Said I had some issues related to a weak core and movement limitations (e.g., tight hips, poor thorasic rotation which pulled pelvis out of alignment and thus the tilt was on my sciatic nerve).

Fast forward....a few weeks ago I was tying my shoe (true story) and threw my back out. Couldn't stand up straight. Went to PT and yes, 6 years later pulled my sacroilliac joint out and was in tremendous pain. He popped it back in....pain free.

I got lazy with my stretching which I have done religious every day along with multiple core strengthening exercises.
“Don't waste your time looking back. You're not going that way.” ― Ragnar Lothbrok.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by peetsperk » Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:43 pm

Congratulations on your retirement jdvol. I plan to join you in just a few weeks. I hope you will join the Boglehead Retirement Class of 2019. It's a great group and I believe you will find many people with a very positive outlook on their future going forward. With that said, I would never express what I'm about to write if I hadn't been asked for input first. So here goes. In addition to your health, you may also want to focus on your family. It sounds like they have been playing second fiddle to your job for many, many years. Good luck! I wish you nothing but happiness and contentment in the years to come.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by joe8d » Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:51 pm

Lyft.
All the Best, | Joe

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Smoke » Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:58 pm

I looked thru the help wanted ads for about 3 months after retiring before I came to grips with not having a job anymore.
I was glad to not work where I retired from but I had never not had a job.
15 yrs later I just laugh about it now.
Time.... it takes a bit of time. :sharebeer
Arguing for the sake of arguing is something I am not going to engage in.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by rich126 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:26 pm

I tend to think I won't have that issue but I'm not there, yet (4 years), and everyone is different. I think many would say even while working, there are times when you feel like you aren't contributing to society.

The health issue is tough. I messed up my back in March and in the past it had always healed quickly but it is now July and I can still feel some pain and every time i think it may go away it comes back. For now I'm happy I can stand up from sitting without taking a few minutes to straightened up although I feel pain while walking at times or another place.

Some people just won't be happy retired. I recently left a job where one guy was in his 80s and still working. His daughter is just about eligible to retire. His wife passed away a while ago and I don't think he had much else to do other than work. When I previously worked in AZ, there was a guy there that was in his 70s still working and he just retired a couple of years ago (must have been near 80).

I'm counting down the days until I can retire. Not that I've hated my career, in fact for a good chunk of my working career I actually enjoyed the work and people (national security stuff). Although I know I am changing as I get older and realize the end is closer than I prefer. I guess that feeling hits people at different times and i value my time with family and friends more. For most of my life, being home alone (never married, no kids) never bothered me but now it does. Fortunately I have had a long term GF and that helps although I moved westward and left my immediate family which I kind of regret now and may have to revisit that decision next year (once my commitments here are fulfilled).

Try to find something that interests you. Whether it is something online, clubs locally, family stuff, whatever. Or maybe start some kind of online business if that is your thing. If your health permits, volunteer with sports, a hospital, etc. to help others.

Whats those sayings most of us were told as kids and didn't understand, things like "youth is wasted on the young", "life is fragile", "time goes back too fast"?

Good luck. And if you need real help, make sure you get it.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by CurlyDave » Mon Jul 08, 2019 1:00 am

jdv01 wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:36 pm
... My ex-employer has talked about trying to get me back as a contractor after I have been gone a month - that is the a rule that you have to be gone a month when you retire before coming back as a contractor. The wife says she is against me returning as a contractor but I'm seriously considering it just to feel like I'm still contributing. But who knows maybe in a few weeks I will have turned the corner emotionally...
I have been retired since 2007.

1. It took a couple of years for that feeling of "nothing to do" to go away.

2. If your finances could use some shoring up, you it is extremely rare to get an opportunity to make the kind of money you would get for going back as a contractor. Consider part time to ease the transition to full retirement. See if your wife would be OK with that.

I know several retired people who have had to go back to work to make ends meet. I guarantee that contracting at your old employer is light years ahead of working at Home Depot -- on your feet for hours on a concrete floor.

I have not had that problem since I own rentals and have managed them for years. I hire people to do all the physically demanding stuff and still make a decent amount.

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Re: Survived the First Week

Post by GCD » Mon Jul 08, 2019 1:31 am

SoonerD wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:42 pm
Narcissism!
That’s what pops into my mind when I read about a person (1 of 6,000,000,000+ in the world) who thinks their employer or society is diminished bc he didn’t go into work today (or bc he retired). How much does a typical 65 yo with sciatica and on pain meds contribute to society by punching the time clock another day/month/year? My guess is no one will ever miss your missing contribution.

When I retired I decided to focus on the positives of new found time, energy, healthful living. My employer repaced me with a 30 something pretty face. She’ll never contribute as much as I did - right? But clients love her and she earns less than 70% of my final years comp. A win for everyone!!! Oh and nobody cares that I kept some knowledge - society will have to carry on.

Not taking sick days when contagious is detrimental to others
This. Also, I am coming up on my 30 year college reunion. I went on the school website and noticed that there are 10 "in memoriam." I went to a SLAC so 10 dead is only a couple percent of the class, but I knew one of them and it was news to me. Get a life outside work if you haven't already. You don't know how much time you have left. You should make the best of it for yourself and your family, not your employer. Do you really not have any passions outside work?

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jdv01
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A Couple of Points of Clarification on my Post

Post by jdv01 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:30 am

Just wanted to clarify a couple of points. When I mentioned that I didn't take sick days I meant if I had something contagious I would work from home. I have a medical background so I know when I'm contagious and when I'm not. I wouldn't expose my co-workers knowingly to something contagious.

Because of some issues with my kidneys I can't take NSAIDs and have to take an Opioid medication or tough it out. Fortuantely there is no risk of addiction for me since I react differently to them then I gather most people do. I never understood how anyone could become addicted to Opioids. My Doctor writes an Rx for a month and I typicaly make it 5-6 months before needing a refill. Usually it is a toss up for me between just fighting through the pain or putting up with the side effects of taking the medication. One of the worst is not being able to sleep. I've had both knees replaced and a full revision on one of the replacements and didn't sleep the entire time I was in the hospital because of the pain meds. I'm on the lowest dose possible and I still cut the pills in to smaller pieces just to minimize the side effects.

As far as being a narcissist maybe but it isn't like i feel no one can replace me or do a better job the realitly is that most of the time there was no one else to do the work if I didn't do it. And when I decided to retire I left my IT group of 3 people down by one person and they can only replace me with a contractor with hard 1 year limit for the contract. They will have to do that since they are going to be increasing their workload by an additional 40% as they take on an additonal 1500 servers from a recent acquistion. So I'm feeling very guilty about leaving when I did. At least I'm not doing a 40 mile commute each way any longer a commute that I have been doing for over 40 years. So that is a positive and one I feel good about since I'm not contributing to traffic or pollution etc.

Thanks for all of the suggestions everyone. I will look in to the Class of 2019 group. I appreciate the feedback.

jdv01

shell921
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by shell921 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:45 am

Please give yourself some TIME to adjust.

I retired in 2003 when I was 55. I decided since I didn't have another 55 years left to live I wanted to
live whatever years I had left feeling the best I possibly could !! I had seen too many people retire only to
find themselves unable to do much due to being too fat or too sick. I decided to
increase my fitness. I also wanted to keep learning new things. In my first year of
retirement, I took a drawing class, a tai chi class, several vegetarian cooking classes and I started doing yoga again
and going back to the gym. I also
re-joined my master's swimming classes. In the 2nd year of retirement, I began doing some volunteer work.
Making health/fitness a priority has been so beneficial for me. So has volunteering !!

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by rj342 » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:46 am

joe8d wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:51 pm
Lyft.
Have to be careful with Uber and Lyft in terms of tracking your true cost to drive for them -- I am pretty sure some people lose money at it and don't know it.

However... I have only been using Uber for about a year (been having an old truck getting work done here and there) and I have almost always had a great conversation. Just this morning I talked to a guy who retired from Burger King corporate not long ago. He was the regional operations VP who would keep the franchisees in line. Very interesting fast food insider info.
Last week had a very interesting conversation with driver about problems w healthcare and different approaches to trying to improve it.

I could see that sort of interaction being a decent replacement for some of the social and mental stimulation one had working.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by RadAudit » Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:33 am

jdv01 wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:36 pm
I ended up retiring a year earlier then I had planned for due to a small buy out from my employer who was trying to downsize.
Having seen a number of buyouts, in a number of cases, my former employer wouldn't include some folks in the buyout offer if he thought he really couldn't do without them. (The ones who were left behind were rather disappointed.)
jdv01 wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:30 am
the realitly is that most of the time there was no one else to do the work if I didn't do it.
And, while you were there, the remaining work would come to you. I'm sure it was appreciated at the time. But they do have options (contractors). For well or ill, it appears you've been launched in to the next stage of your life. Give it time and best of luck.
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. - PS: The cavalry isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.

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F150HD
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by F150HD » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:46 am

OP- based upon your post, I'd take the contractor gig. Keeps your mind active. Sounds like SO will be working anyway so its not like you're going on big trips together for months at a time.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Sandtrap » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:53 am

fposte wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:59 pm
I'm thinking about this transition myself and have been reading a lot of retirement threads here in preparation.

I liked one post so much I copied it, unfortunately without attribution, and I can't find it through search now. But somebody posted his concept of "The Big Four"--four activities that would allow him, at the end of the day, to say "This was a good day." His were physical activity, learning a language, playing musical instruments, and following a creative pursuit, but they could be anything. I thought for somebody like me, who's prone to spinning her wheels without a plan and then feeling bad about it, this was a really useful concept.
+1
Me too.
Retirement transition took long, still working on it.
It's taken me 8 years to go from AAA Workaholic Driven to . . . . still and peaceful.

Might have been "jazztonight". Look up posts under his name. Cool fellow.
j
Wiki Bogleheads Wiki: Everything You Need to Know

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Will do good
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Will do good » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:55 am

Life is short, if you enjoy work, work.
For me I rather not work to take care of my body, relax and travel. Because life is short.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Sandtrap » Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:57 am

It might be helpful to work a few days a week, and limit it to that (these things tend to grow), instead of going "cold turkey".
There's a sense of balance in that. One foot here and one foot still in the familiar.
Also retains a sense of routine.
Also keeps up social contacts, job friends, etc.
And, a big one, still doing something you "love". Everyone's different. Some can't wait to "get out". Different career attitudes.
A middle path.. . . how about that?
Also keeps one from driving everyone else nuts. . . . .

j
Wiki Bogleheads Wiki: Everything You Need to Know

fposte
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by fposte » Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:08 am

Sandtrap wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:53 am
Might have been "jazztonight". Look up posts under his name. Cool fellow.
j
Oh, you are good! It's his post here.

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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Sandtrap » Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:17 am

fposte wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:08 am
Sandtrap wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 8:53 am
Might have been "jazztonight". Look up posts under his name. Cool fellow.
j
Oh, you are good! It's his post here.
Yes. Robert also wrote a couple books since then or around then.
On Amazon.
A Rabbi Finds Her Way
https://smile.amazon.com/Rabbi-Finds-He ... way&sr=8-1
On God's Radar: A Walk Across America
https://smile.amazon.com/Gods-Radar-Wal ... ert+Schoen

Gives an idea of what folks can do in retirement.
And/or what Bogleheads are doing in retirement.

j :D
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by ralph124cf » Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:29 pm

Whatever you do, do NOT accept the same pay as a contractor as you did as an employee. You have unique skills, you can command AT LEAST double your previous rate as a contractor.

Ralph

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jdv01
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by jdv01 » Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:43 pm

ralph124cf wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:29 pm
Whatever you do, do NOT accept the same pay as a contractor as you did as an employee. You have unique skills, you can command AT LEAST double your previous rate as a contractor.

Ralph
Thank You Ralph I will keep that in mind. I know I will be bailing them out of a bad situation. I was being pushed in to the role of being a Scrum Master which I knew I didn't want to do but would have done if they had limited it to one team. In the end they assigned me 3 teams and I was still supposed to do all of my normal work. Had a manager go up the line a couple of levels to try and get me out of those responsibilites and had they done that I would still be working there but was told no exceptions. So going back as a contractor will allow me to concentrate on supporting the business unit that I've helped build for 30+ years and that will bring me some satisfaction to spend some of my time doing that. And maybe a chance for some closure and allow me to prepare for full time retirement.

Kind Regards
jdv01

Topic Author
jdv01
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Thank You Sandtrap and Fposte

Post by jdv01 » Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:51 pm

That is a good list that Jazztonight put together. I can see how having those types of goals would allow you to feel fullfilled. I need to build a list like that for myself. Right now I'm spending a lot of time in my garden tending my heirloom tomatoes and watching the hummingbirds. My ex-boss just sent me an email and told me what he did the last 24 hrs. Included an motorcycle ride where he decided to spend the night in a city he hadn't planned on visting and working out and going to church. Since he retired 4 years ago he is in better shape and free to do what he wants when he wants.

Kind Regards
jdv01

k3vb0t
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by k3vb0t » Wed Jul 10, 2019 6:37 am

I’m 30 years behind you but the psychological impact of retirement transitions fascinate me.

It sounds like you aren’t in the best health (pain meds, two knee replacements) and your wife doesn’t want you to go back to work.

Just based on what you’ve stated you clearly get a lot of satisfaction about being useful to the company and business unit you built. But I’d start asking myself questions about whether the sacrifice was worth it from a health and family perspective. Maybe your knee replacements weren’t related but I know a lot of people even at my age who take their bodies for granted so they can keep being impressive at work.

I’d consider reading up on the mental side of the transition while maybe getting some counseling on why I feel so tied to providing value for my employer.

And if my wife didn’t want me to go back to work I’d really hesitate to do so; it would cause me to question my motives since she is more reasonable than I am!

I wish you the best of luck!

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Cyclesafe
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Cyclesafe » Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:25 am

At 45 I was "retired" when my company was sold. I was obligated to return to the USA as my visa was cancelled. I had zero notice.

I set up in the middle of the country in an apartment and for one year tried to get another job. I interviewed, but never clicked with a satisfactory gig.

I needed to think outside the box and realized that ticking off a "to do" list wasn't going to cut it. What I needed were atelic strategies, a life comprised of actions/activities that have no endpoints - that are also personally fulfilling.

The challenge is that activities just don't stay atelic.

Over the past 20 years, I have cycled through (in order) daily golf, law school/bar, pro bono volunteering, long distance cycling, triathlon, supported trekking, and general independent traveling. None of which, for me, have really remained atelic.

OP, as your health is an issue, that needs to be aggressively addressed. Optimizing one's physical condition is by nature fully atelic. And, nothing is as important. Seek the best medical advice and dedicate yourself to following it. Accept the fact that keeping oneself in the best possible shape takes continuous effort and becomes even harder as time passes. For everybody.

Second, since you have been separated from the social contact you enjoyed while being employed, you need to reconnect with friends and family. Some of them may not want to do this, so you need to adapt to a new reality. Seek new friends who share your new interests. Socializing is also atelic.

When the physical and social is addressed, you can work on the other stuff.

renue74
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by renue74 » Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:32 am

I'm 45 and my old business partner is 71. He retired about 6 years ago. I have lunch with him every few months. My generalization from what I see with him is that he makes everything into a project. "Have to go to the DMV today." "Going to pick up the grand kids today for a two week visit." etc.

I feel like I'm always rushed. When I go to do anything, I'm always in a rush to get through it....food shopping, home depot trips, etc.

Take some time to slow down. Join a YMCA or Planet Fitness and really take time to exercise.

Take time and make a plan of what you want to do.

kaneohe
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by kaneohe » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:20 am

Cyclesafe wrote:
Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:25 am
............................................................. What I needed were atelic strategies, a life comprised of actions/activities that have no endpoints - that are also personally fulfilling.

The challenge is that activities just don't stay atelic.

..........................................................................
a new word..........had to look it up............http://www.philnel.com/2014/11/19/midlifecrisis/

gold99xx
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by gold99xx » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:55 am

Please make your health your job. You can thank me later. There is nothing more important. Approach it as you would an IT problem. Engineer it so that you can rid yourself of all meds. Once you get some traction with that you will think more clearly about your newfound freedom. Enjoy it.

squirm
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by squirm » Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:06 am

" I am one of those people who would work when they are sick rather take a sick day since I always felt I was cheating my employer"

Yeah, one of those that gets everyone else in the office sick.... That's why there's sick leave!

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Fletch
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Fletch » Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:52 am

As others have said, everyone is unique.

My comments: I retired at about age 56. I am the type of person who trusts myself to never (OK, almost never) be bored as it is within my capability and my responsibility to come up with something that benefits others and self. Since I retired, I have taken many courses at the local university program for seniors, practiced shooting skills, volunteered, became very involved in church activities including various lay leadership roles, made new friends, frequently go to lunch and dinner with family and friends, garden, help wife with housework, paint, hone computer skills, hone financial/investing skills, read hundreds of books, exercise, travel, and many more things I've likely forgotten. Bottom line: balance "self" type activities with activities that benefit others. The balance point shifts back and forth over the 18 years I've been retired. Good luck, have fun, enjoy the moment, and don't obsess over anything! Life and all it offers is a gift, appreciate it.
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

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Toons
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Toons » Thu Jul 11, 2019 11:23 am

Start Walking
10k steps a day
While you are figuring out what you really want to do
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee

Quirkz
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Quirkz » Thu Jul 11, 2019 11:25 am

gold99xx wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:55 am
Please make your health your job. You can thank me later. There is nothing more important. Approach it as you would an IT problem. Engineer it so that you can rid yourself of all meds. Once you get some traction with that you will think more clearly about your newfound freedom. Enjoy it.
This is my inclination, too. I'd set up a daily schedule, and put in an hour, or a couple of hours, or whatever it takes towards self-care. It sounds like there could be a lot of room for improvement there.

Second I'd identify other things that you feel like are missing. Being productive? Making a difference? I'd target those next and schedule in more time that ticks off those checkboxes. That may be doing things around the house, that may be volunteering, and it may be an hour ever day or bigger chunks every few days. Whatever works for you.

Finally, I'd pad the above with fun. Hobbies, reading, movies, family time, travel, whatever you like do to, make sure you're doing it. If there's things you've been meaning to try, try them.

I guess a fourth might be just plain rest and relaxation, but that sounds less like one of your immediate goals. Definitely give yourself permission to do it, but it sounds like you're struggling more with redirecting your energies than needing to recharge.

Rudedog
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Rudedog » Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:44 pm

If you want to be a contractor, do it ! I still work part-time, maybe 150 to 200 hours per year. I make a little cash and stay busy. Word of warning, the retirees with substantial pensions can't believe anyone would do that.

Lalamimi
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Lalamimi » Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:57 pm

I was in your boat last March. Age 64. Hubby was 66. We had to scramble to get him on Medicare (turns out he had 8 months to start Medicare, but only 63 days to get Part D. He got his supplement same time rather than wait). I was lost for about 6 months (drew unemployment, so I did some job searching). Hubby has been retired 12 years. I still don't have a hobby, but we travel some, spend time with grandkids and I am researching to be more active in our IRA investments. Take the part time position if it materializes, and get your health and hobbies lined up. Don't forget about IRMMA and medicare cost being increased due to income. Enjoy.

renue74
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by renue74 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm

I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.

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peetsperk
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by peetsperk » Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:55 pm

Cyclesafe wrote:
Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:25 am
At 45 I was "retired" when my company was sold. I was obligated to return to the USA as my visa was cancelled. I had zero notice.

I set up in the middle of the country in an apartment and for one year tried to get another job. I interviewed, but never clicked with a satisfactory gig.

I needed to think outside the box and realized that ticking off a "to do" list wasn't going to cut it. What I needed were atelic strategies, a life comprised of actions/activities that have no endpoints - that are also personally fulfilling.

The challenge is that activities just don't stay atelic.

Over the past 20 years, I have cycled through (in order) daily golf, law school/bar, pro bono volunteering, long distance cycling, triathlon, supported trekking, and general independent traveling. None of which, for me, have really remained atelic.

OP, as your health is an issue, that needs to be aggressively addressed. Optimizing one's physical condition is by nature fully atelic. And, nothing is as important. Seek the best medical advice and dedicate yourself to following it. Accept the fact that keeping oneself in the best possible shape takes continuous effort and becomes even harder as time passes. For everybody.

Second, since you have been separated from the social contact you enjoyed while being employed, you need to reconnect with friends and family. Some of them may not want to do this, so you need to adapt to a new reality. Seek new friends who share your new interests. Socializing is also atelic.

When the physical and social is addressed, you can work on the other stuff.
Thanks cyclesafe. Like kaneohe, I too had to look-up atelic. Good food for thought.

michaeljc70
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by michaeljc70 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:57 pm

I don't think you've given it enough time. One more year of work? What will you be doing in one year that you cannot do now? You will be in the same boat. It is probably best you confront it now. It sounds like you have some things to do at home. Take your time. I find that one thing a lot of people do in retirement is take their time. When working, I spent 15-20 minutes reading the newspaper. In retirement, I spend hours reading (though online, not a physical paper). I used to try to grocery shop once a week. Now, if I go 2-3 times a week, who cares? I offer to help to friends/family with stuff. I just had a friend that moved this week and helped him hang some art that he couldn't manage on his own and we got to chit chat and I got to see his new place.

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WestUniversity
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by WestUniversity » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:27 pm

Congrats on your retirement! I’m about 7 months in now. Health issues were among my many reasons for retiring early. It took several months for the stress to subside and my blood pressure to level out. Getting back into the gym has no doubt had a factor in that as well.

I have been catching up on my long list of projects that I simply didn’t have the time for while w*rking. Have taken several trips already this year and have a few more to go. Additionally there are 3 ministry opportunities at our church I will choose between in the next several months once our travel is done and my projects are done.

Overall, to be honest it’s been somewhat disorienting. Something that has defined my life for decades now is no longer a part of my life. That said DW has been extremely pleased how quickly I have been able to return to my old self.

I’m not one to simply sit. Never have been. But now I’m as busy as I want to be and I now do the things I want to do, not the things I have to do...

Good luck in your retirement!

bhsince87
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by bhsince87 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:05 pm

renue74 wrote:
Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:04 pm
I'm in Key West for the week with my kid for vacation. I just came back from the Ernest Hemingway house tour. His life makes mine feel miniscule.

He was a war correspondent and got a medal of honor. He had 4 wives. He had houses in Key West, Cuba, and Idaho. He wrote. He hung out in Sloppy Joes and listened to stories that made him write. He boxed. He taught boxers at a brothel. He lived in Paris. He vacationed/safaried in Africa. He survived 2 successful plane crashes while on safari. He was an ambulance driver in Italy during WWI. After the Cuban revolution, he lost his house in Cuba and all his unfinished manuscripts.

Whew...that's just the part I remember from the tour a few hours ago.

Now get out there and take a safari.

I assume you know how his life ended.
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace." Samuel Adams

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Summit111
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Re: Survived the First Week [of retirement, what's next?]

Post by Summit111 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:41 pm

After a 40 year engineering career, in retirement, I do the following:

* Musician in three bands, Jazz, Island, and Old School New Orleans R&B
* Performed as a musician in 4 theatre productions
* Manage the family sugar cane farm
* Press Box announcer for the local high school football and baseball teams
* Volunteer track coach for a local middle school
* Officer in a men’s service organization
* Represent a national engineering company at industry conferences and meetings
* Consulting contractor for my former employer
* Travel with my DW both domestically and foreign
* Have closer relationships with family and friends

And have time to relax....Life was never better...

Summit
“Got my mind on my money, and my money on my mind!” Snoop Dog

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