Age for starting kindergarten

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hoops777
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Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:51 pm

Our grandson has an end of June birthday and turns 5 this year.He is very small,31 lbs,but very healthy and active.Should he wait a year before starting kindergarten is the issue.He is very smart,knows the alphabet,good with numbers.Just for the fun of it I had him do the Khan academy kindergarten math test where you challenge the course,30 questions,and he got about 25 of the 30 correct with no help and the other 5 after I explained the wording so he understood it.Anyway,so he is definitely ready academic wise.
He is currently in pre school 3 days a week,half day and is doing fine.On the negative side,he loves playing with the adults in his life,like me,but does not play much with other kids.The general consensus here is that socially he is a bit behind and also very small.If he delays Kindergarten a year he will actually still be the correct age for each grade.He would turn 19 about a month after he graduates from high school.He would be 6 the day he starts and finishes Kindergarten.
It really seems the best thing is to make sure he is ready socially and more confident in himself and not worry about the possibility of being a little bored with the abc’s in K and 1st grade.
Wondering if anyone has gone through this and how it turned out.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

corysold
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by corysold » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:06 pm

Kindergarten is for social development. That's the whole point, or used to be totally and now is mostly. Yes, they learn academics, but they also learn how to interact socially, wait in line, take turns, listen to a teacher, sit quietly, etc. etc. I wouldn't worry about him socially. I would worry if he was held back a full year and was too far ahead of his peers academically. Unless he's in a great school or has a great teacher, the really bright kids tend to get ignored in my experience (6 kids, wife is elementary teacher) and regress to the mean vs. being expected to excel and grow. Sad but true. Your school/teacher might be different.

Being bored in school academically is about the worst thing for a young kid, it's hard enough as it is. Kindergartners are expected to be socially inept, the first few years of school are for developing that, the academics really come later.

Our daughter is a late August birthday and makes the cut by 9 days. We thought of waiting a year, but feel she's ready for the social interaction and development. Our previous 4 ranged from oldest to near youngest in the class and I'm glad we didn't keep any back, they all flourished in their own way.

mortfree
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by mortfree » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:11 pm

Send him now.

I remember someone posting before and they said something along the lines about being the older kid and hanging with kids who are a year behind in maturity.

It stuck with me but not enough that I remember the exact phrase.

My son has a early June birthday and he started kindergarten last fall (2018).

tibbitts
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by tibbitts » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:16 pm

I believe I was at least close to youngest in my class. I don't think it would have mattered.

Today in some places it seems the objective is to keep kids back sufficiently so that after elementary school they can choose between middle school and the NFL draft.

staythecourse
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by staythecourse » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:24 pm

My daughter is one of the youngest in class (aug 7th and cut off is sept. 1). We didn't have an option as our school district had (changing now) standing policy you HAVE to enroll in your current year. She is not the greatest socially and was a bit of an adjustment. In retrospect, I do think the age made a difference in KG where she didn't have as many friends. This year in 1st grade the differences between the different birthdays are A LOT less obvious and it shows as the different birthday first graders mingle much better. She now has the same issues as everyone else, "She won't play with me anymore" or "I don't want to play with her anymore". So in the end, I don't think it makes a huge difference as time goes on.

I would love to hear early education teachers opinions as they are the best/ most knowledgeable on this issue.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:26 pm

corysold wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:06 pm
Kindergarten is for social development. That's the whole point, or used to be totally and now is mostly. Yes, they learn academics, but they also learn how to interact socially, wait in line, take turns, listen to a teacher, sit quietly, etc. etc. I wouldn't worry about him socially. I would worry if he was held back a full year and was too far ahead of his peers academically. Unless he's in a great school or has a great teacher, the really bright kids tend to get ignored in my experience (6 kids, wife is elementary teacher) and regress to the mean vs. being expected to excel and grow. Sad but true. Your school/teacher might be different.

Being bored in school academically is about the worst thing for a young kid, it's hard enough as it is. Kindergartners are expected to be socially inept, the first few years of school are for developing that, the academics really come later.

Our daughter is a late August birthday and makes the cut by 9 days. We thought of waiting a year, but feel she's ready for the social interaction and development. Our previous 4 ranged from oldest to near youngest in the class and I'm glad we didn't keep any back, they all flourished in their own way.
His mom has a masters in counseling and works at a local university.When I mentioned my worry about him getting bored,she said teachers can give him more challenging work.She is a bit concerned about him being bullied because of his size and his social skills.He is really well behaved in terms of sitting and listening,taking turns,etc.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by Fallible » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:27 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:51 pm
...
It really seems the best thing is to make sure he is ready socially and more confident in himself and not worry about the possibility of being a little bored with the abc’s in K and 1st grade.
...
Definitely talk with his preschool teacher about this and also a kindergarten teacher if possible. Their professional training and experience would be needed to help you and the parents decide.
John Bogle on his often bumpy road to low-cost indexing: "When a door closes, if you look long enough and hard enough, if you're strong enough, you'll find a window that opens."

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:29 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:24 pm
My daughter is one of the youngest in class (aug 7th and cut off is sept. 1). We didn't have an option as our school district had (changing now) standing policy you HAVE to enroll in your current year. She is not the greatest socially and was a bit of an adjustment. In retrospect, I do think the age made a difference in KG where she didn't have as many friends. This year in 1st grade the differences between the different birthdays are A LOT less obvious and it shows as the different birthday first graders mingle much better. She now has the same issues as everyone else, "She won't play with me anymore" or "I don't want to play with her anymore". So in the end, I don't think it makes a huge difference as time goes on.

I would love to hear early education teachers opinions as they are the best/ most knowledgeable on this issue.

Good luck.
His pre school teacher who has 4 kids herself,hinted that it might be best if he waited a year,but dud not want to say 100 pct either way.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

staythecourse
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by staythecourse » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:31 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:51 pm
Our grandson has an end of June birthday and turns 5 this year.He is very small,31 lbs,
Not to pry or deviate, but that is REALLY small. My son (3.5years old) has a GI issue diagnosed that causes repeated vomiting and he is 33 lbs and that puts him only in the 40% or so. Are they sure there isn't a reason he isn't gaining weight?

Good luck.
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scubadiver
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by scubadiver » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:32 pm

This is a very personal decision.

Both of our kids started kindergarten at age 5. Due to the timing of their birthdays, one child is amongst the oldest in her cohort and the other is one of the youngest. Both are very bright and doing well overall.

If the child is intellectually and emotionally ready, speaking as a parent, I don't see any harm in sending him or her to kindergarten. On the other hand, I don't see any harm in holding them back either, and would even suggest doing so if the child were not ready. Again, I think this is very personal. Are both parents working or does perhaps one stay at home? Or are you doing (and would presumably continue) grandparent daycare. Has the child been to pre-school? How is that going?

dbr
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dbr » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:36 pm

I think personal maturity is more important than either social maturity, which as pointed out will be learned, or academic precocity. By personal maturity I mean enough confidence, ability to tolerate frustration, self-control, and so on to be happy at school. The essence of it is being ready to play "The Game of School." You will have to evaluate that yourself.

I agree about smart kids getting bored and frustrated. I work with that group everyday, and it is the most under-served cohort of the school population. On the other hand I also see lots of precocious early learners who still don't have habits of concentration, tolerance for frustration, willingness to do boring tasks to complete more exotic projects and so on that come with age that will be needed to eventually keep up with an older classroom.

It really is a tough judgement. I would tend to err on going for it rather than keeping someone back. One should always be positive about the potential.

PS Sometimes the little kids are the fastest kids and it is always better to be fast than to be big. On the hand slower motor development, gross or fine, is a lot to overcome when the other kids are way ahead. What is your sense on this?

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scubadiver
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by scubadiver » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:39 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:29 pm
His pre school teacher who has 4 kids herself,hinted that it might be best if he waited a year,but dud not want to say 100 pct either way.
I didn't see this in my first response. With that "hint", and all other things being equal, I would be inclined to delay kindergarten for a year.

dbr
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dbr » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:41 pm

staythecourse wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:34 pm


If you are going to consider it I would make sure the future school can give you CONCRETE examples of challenging each kid up to their ability. They ALL say they will, but my impression is the teachers choose the easiest option (teach to the middle).

In the typical classroom getting the middle to where they should be and keeping the ones who are struggling from going down the drain is already more than most people can manage. It is almost impossible to also challenge those who are already easily past the mid level. The way to do that is to track that group into separate classrooms. This can be done by offering a challenge track, by skipping grades partly or in all subjects, or by offering an entirely separate "gifted and talented" school or maybe a G&T surrogate in the form of a private school.

dbr
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dbr » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:43 pm

scubadiver wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:39 pm
hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:29 pm
His pre school teacher who has 4 kids herself,hinted that it might be best if he waited a year,but dud not want to say 100 pct either way.
I didn't see this in my first response. With that "hint", and all other things being equal, I would be inclined to delay kindergarten for a year.
Experienced teachers may have the best holistic perception of what is best for an individual child they know. At least they will be sensible of all the aspects of children in school.

veindoc
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by veindoc » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:43 pm

I went through this with my three kids. All have summer birthdays.

With the first kid it was “suggested” and I fought it tooth and nail. I am a physician and between med school and residency, I had developed a bias that the younger you are when you finally hit the work force the better. But in the end I relented. Pressure from teachers, mostly and a little from my inlaws. Was it the best thing? I don’t know. He was a bit of a crybaby and had little interest in following the program in pre-K. He was often in a corner lost in his thoughts. But academically totally fine. In the end he was found to have ADHD - diagnosed around second grade. And I feel like had he started school earlier we would have ultimately come to that diagnosis sooner instead of being blown off by comments like, “he’s young. He’s immature.” So I have mixed feelings if that was the correct decision.

My second one was an easier decision. He had a significant speech delay and only really stated talking at 4.5. I couldn’t imagine sending him. He didn’t have he social skills or maturity. Now in second grade he is keenly aware that he is the oldest. His bday is in June. I don’t know how he feels about that. But he’s noticed.

The third one was ready. Totally ready. I suspect because he had two older brothers and that made him a bit more mature. His birthday was a little closer to the cut-off and I got a lot of push back. The guidance counselor made it sound like he was being pushed off a cliff. Another person told me her daughter struggled and only finally caught up maturity wise in second grade. Quite honestly, despite the warnings I sent him because I didn’t want to pay for preschool any more and he just seemed ready. It was just a feeling.

I do have to say that younger kids are at a higher risk of being labeled with ADD and behavior problems. But if your child has been in preschool and pre-K, I feel like this is less of a problem because they have been “institutionalized” and know the rules in a matter of speaking. My middle is aware he is the oldest but in this particular school district it is very competitive and a third of the class were red-shirted. So he has a group of friends that are like him.

It’s not an easy decision and I am confident I made the best decision in only 2 out of 3 cases. Good luck.

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celia
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by celia » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:50 pm

I would rely on the teacher’s comments since they see how he compares with his peers. (You could even volunteer in his classroom—avoiding him—to see how others compare.) If he goes to K this year, keep an open mind about possibly repeating K.

I had a K teacher tell me that although one of my kids was academically ahead, he was more interested in other things during class. She said she saw it as he would be able to keep up for several years but would likely start falling behind in later grades until he was behind in HS. If he repeated K, school would always be a breeze for him. So it boiled down to 12 more years of struggle or 13 years of fitting in and having it be easier.

While in K the first go-around, it also occurred to me (or his teacher?) he didn’t need to still be in a car seat. That was likely coming across to him as treating him as a toddler, which could have been holding him back.
Last edited by celia on Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

staythecourse
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by staythecourse » Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:56 pm

dbr wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:41 pm
staythecourse wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:34 pm


If you are going to consider it I would make sure the future school can give you CONCRETE examples of challenging each kid up to their ability. They ALL say they will, but my impression is the teachers choose the easiest option (teach to the middle).

In the typical classroom getting the middle to where they should be and keeping the ones who are struggling from going down the drain is already more than most people can manage. It is almost impossible to also challenge those who are already easily past the mid level. The way to do that is to track that group into separate classrooms. This can be done by offering a challenge track, by skipping grades partly or in all subjects, or by offering an entirely separate "gifted and talented" school or maybe a G&T surrogate in the form of a private school.
Agreed. So the point is to make sure the school the OP grandson is considering already does that. I have found all folks (not just admin.) easily say they can do x, y, and z, but don't/ can't follow through with it. So I would advice to find out concrete examples of how they do this NOW for their current kids then just assume they "can" or "will" do it when the time comes.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

veindoc
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by veindoc » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:05 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:51 pm
He is currently in pre school 3 days a week,half day and is doing fine.On the negative side,he loves playing with the adults in his life,like me,but does not play much with other kids.The general consensus here is that socially he is a bit behind and also very small.If he delays Kindergarten a year he will actually still be the correct age for each grade.He would turn 19 about a month after he graduates from high school.He would be 6 the day he starts and finishes Kindergarten.
It really seems the best thing is to make sure he is ready socially and more confident in himself and not worry about the possibility of being a little bored with the abc’s in K and 1st grade.
Wondering if anyone has gone through this and how it turned out.
If your grandson likes playing with adults and older kids that is unlikely to change regardless of when he goes to kindergarten. My son was a crybaby at age 5 and still is at 10. He cries less obviously but still more than his peers. Also if grandson is small now..same.

It would be interesting to see how your grandson functions in play dates. It could help with the social skills component and give you and his parents more information. Are there cousins of similar ages?

Lastly we had an option to send our son to a childcare center that had an accredited kindergarten associated with a daycare/after care program. The plan was is if he did well in that kindergarten he would transition to first grade at the public school. If he bombed out of kindergarten he could start kindergarten at the local public school. As it turned out, 4 of the 14 kids in that class were on that same track so they all were reunited again in kindergarten at the public school.
In first grade that same son had another boy join their class in December. The boy was redshirted as well and started kindergarten the following year he was eligible but he did so well they bumped him up to first grade halfway through kindergarten. So there are do-overs.
Last edited by veindoc on Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

GoldenFinch
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by GoldenFinch » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:07 pm

Four summer born kids. Sent two early, held two back.


What I learned: (I am now a fan of sending them early.)

The benefit of being younger in school is that the child is around comparatively slightly more mature peers which is a good thing. Also, for a “bright” kid there is a potential he or she will be bored and tune out in an unstimulating environment which is what can happen when you are ahead of the curve. I fully understand the concept of trying to give a child an edge academically or socially, but having the child be older than their peers may not be the best way to help. What a parent can do to help is stay involved in their child’s education and set a good example.

One other point, the two I held back complained their entire senior year that they were, “DONE, DONE, DONE” with high school as everyone else in the school was so young and they were more than ready to be in college.
Last edited by GoldenFinch on Tue Mar 19, 2019 5:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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bottlecap
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by bottlecap » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:12 pm

I think the primary concern should be if the child will be bored because they already know all the material, send them.

We felt we would like to keep our July birthday child back, but that she would be bored stupid with another year of preschool.

It sounds like your child might be there, too. If so I would send him.

If you do send him and it isn't working out, you can just yank him and send them next year, assuming your schedule allows.

Good luck,

JT

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dodecahedron
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dodecahedron » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:23 pm

dbr wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:43 pm
scubadiver wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:39 pm
hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:29 pm
His pre school teacher who has 4 kids herself,hinted that it might be best if he waited a year,but dud not want to say 100 pct either way.
I didn't see this in my first response. With that "hint", and all other things being equal, I would be inclined to delay kindergarten for a year.
Experienced teachers may have the best holistic perception of what is best for an individual child they know. At least they will be sensible of all the aspects of children in school.
I was born on the cutoff day for first grade entry. A day later and I would have been required to wait a full year to start kindergarten. I was rather uncoordinated and had issues with fine and gross motor skills. (To be honest, I still do 60 years later!)

I also had crossed eyes (detected by my teachers in the middle of kindergarten--my parents had not noticed it themselves, but after they took me to the eye doctor it was clear my teachers had been right. Also turned out my younger brother had an even more severe problem with his eyes that would not have been on their radar screen if my kindergarten teachers had not raised the issue with me.) I started wearing glasses to address the vision issue but still had problems with motor skills and clumsiness.

At the end of the year, the teachers told my parents that I should repeat kindergarten. Probably part of it was my extremely borderline age but they were also convinced that my motor skills issues would interfere with my learning to read and write and that I needed another year to allow my motor skills to develop before attempting the academics expected in first grade.

My parents discussed this advice but ultimately overrode it enrolled me in first grade (at another school, where my previous teachers´ opinion held no sway.)

In first grade, I quickly became an excellent and voracious reader and generally flourished in school (except that penmanship--to this day--is not a strength for me!)

So--sometimes teachers' observations are right and sometimes not. That said, it might not have worked out so well if I had stayed in the same school where the first grade teacher might have been prejudiced by her colleagues´ expectations.

HomeStretch
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by HomeStretch » Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:00 pm

Before deciding, solicit input from: (1) his pre-school teachers, (2) an evaluation by the kindergarten teachers at the elementary school he will attend, and (3) his pediatrician. Find out the typical age breakdown of the kindergarten classes (how many start at age 4 v age 5 v age 6?). The info received will help the decision.

We faced a similar decision about when to enroll our son in kindergarten. Fall birthday, so we had to decide whether to start him at 4 years, 9 months or 5 years, 9 months. His pre-school teachers and the kindergarten teachers felt that he was ready. But his well-respected, long-practicing pediatrician felt strongly that our son (and most children under age 5 in our town) should delay a year. We also checked with the school and found almost all children with fall birthdays delayed a year. He would have been the youngest child in his class by almost 5 months. We delayed by 1 year and enrolled him in a pre-K program (so he wouldn’t be the oldest child at pre-school). Turned out to be the right decision.

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:09 pm

Thanks for all of the great comments and suggestions.
The little guy is very creative.Loves to make stuff out of the typical craft supplies...loves using tape :)He is fast and likes to tumble and dance and is very active.Again though,37 inches and 31 lbs.He is Asian but still very small.It is kind of funny in a way that I am the only non-Asian in the family but he is very attached to me,not that it matters :D

I do not know how much this factors in but he is the first born and just got a new baby brother who is 6 months old.It is very clear when I pay attention to his brother he comes over and wants me to play with him and not his brother.
His mom is concerned about class size as well.His pre school class has 10 kids and his K would have 25.

It is a tough one.The other grandparents think he should wait and my wife who is his father’s mom thinks he should go.I just assumed he was going until all of this came up a few weeks ago.They had to register him for K and the dad also signed him up for the after school program.So the little guy would be transitioning from 3 half days a week of pre school,two full days and 3 half days with the grandparents,to five days a week 8 to 6 at the new school.I thought that was too much.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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scubadiver
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by scubadiver » Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:37 pm

There are far worse things a five year old could go through than delaying kindergarten for another year of this: 3 half days a week of pre school, two full days and 3 half days with the grandparents. :)

Anyway, good luck. Sounds like the kid has a very supporting family and I'm sure he'll turn out just fine no matter what the choice.

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alec
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by alec » Sat Mar 16, 2019 4:57 pm

My daughter was born on 9/1, the cutoff day for our school district. We didn’t feel she was socially ready, so we red shirted her. We also figured it’d be easier for her to skip a grade later than repeating a grade, with all her future friends on the class moving on, except her.

She is 13 now, and is doing fantastic. We’d do it again in a second.
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!" - Upton Sinclair

Dottie57
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by Dottie57 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 5:03 pm

Just anote from outside.

The use of “crybaby” for a young boy sounds nasty. I hope the kids were not called that by their parents.

health teacher
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by health teacher » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:14 pm

Keep in mind, repeating kindergarten is an option, worst case.

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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by Luckywon » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:35 pm

veindoc wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:43 pm
He was a bit of a crybaby and had little interest in following the program in pre-K.
Dottie57 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 5:03 pm
Just anote from outside.

The use of “crybaby” for a young boy sounds nasty. I hope the kids were not called that by their parents.
Huh? I agree the term "crybaby" is pejorative if directed at someone in person but see no harm using the term on this forum. Why on earlh would you worry that veindoc called his/her son a crybaby to his face? I would never suggest to a parent that I was worried they did that.

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:37 pm

After going through all of the options a few days ago,I felt a lot better about him waiting when I actually did the age per grade.Like I said earlier he would be the normal age for each grade the first day of school and on the last day of school.I started looking at it more like they would be starting him early now.He would be 17 when he graduates from high school.
I would bet all through school there would be more than a few kids in his class the same age give or take a couple months.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:39 pm

Once again I really appreciate the feedback.Thank you.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

staythecourse
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by staythecourse » Sat Mar 16, 2019 7:13 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:39 pm
Once again I really appreciate the feedback.Thank you.
Kudos to see a grandparent who cares this much about their grandchildren. Don't think my parents or my wife's even know what grade they are in or when they are expected to start KG (for the youngest). Great to see there are grandparents that are so involved. With that level of involvement I am sure whatever you choose he will be fine as he has such a involved immediate social network.

Good luck.
"The stock market [fluctuation], therefore, is noise. A giant distraction from the business of investing.” | -Jack Bogle

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cheese_breath
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by cheese_breath » Sat Mar 16, 2019 7:19 pm

I personally started kindergarten 1/2 year behind my age peers, and it bothered me so much all during elementary school that I eventually went to 8th grade summer school to catch up with them. But maybe that's just me.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

masha12
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by masha12 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:16 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:37 pm
After going through all of the options a few days ago,I felt a lot better about him waiting when I actually did the age per grade.Like I said earlier he would be the normal age for each grade the first day of school and on the last day of school.I started looking at it more like they would be starting him early now.He would be 17 when he graduates from high school.
I would bet all through school there would be more than a few kids in his class the same age give or take a couple months.

With all due respect, unless you have legal custody of your grandson or the parents have decided to let you make the decision, your opinion is irrelevant. You get to send your kids to kindergarten when you want and other people get to send their kids when they want.

Your grandson sounds bright so I’m thinking it is a safe assumption that he has parents who love him and want wants best for them. I’d stop worrying about things you can’t control and just enjoy being a grandpa.

And, FWIW, the grandparents saw a lot more of my kids before they started school so if you like spending time with your grandson, you’ve been given the gift of a another year of extra time with him. Enjoy it

sg0422
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by sg0422 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:53 pm

I’m 30 now, but my parents held me back. Looking back, I feel they made a prudent decision. I was always more mature, smarter, better athletically, etc. than the majority of my peers, which is mostly a good thing I think. Maybe I would have would have been valedictorian, triple majored, graduated from law school and MBA anyway, but I don’t know that for sure.

RudyS
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by RudyS » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:22 pm

Our son has a Nov. birthday and we were faced with that decision. He was in pre-school and we discussed it with the teacher. He was (still is) very bright. But he had a tough time sitting still and accommodating to the "routine" of school. Ultimately we decided not to push him ahead. Some say we "held him back" but I don't like that terminology. It worked out well, he was very glad that we went that route. But every kid is different!

bsteiner
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by bsteiner » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:23 pm

In New York, a June birthday would be in the middle. The cutoff is December 31 in NYC and December 1 outside NYC. Malcolm Gladwell favored redshirting in his book Outliers though others take a different view.

HIinvestor
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by HIinvestor » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:10 pm

Our kids were both born in Nov. we had to figure out whether to let them to to K before or after they had turned 5. They were 2 years, 5 days apart.

The pediatrician, preschool teachers and preschool director all recommended we give the kids an extra year of preschool, so we did for both. They were 5% for height and weight but academically well advanced (S was reading in preschool and tried to help the admissions director improve the national placement test at age 3).

We knew we’d have to supplement academically regardless of what we chose but felt then and now that giving them the gift of time in preschool was priceless for them.

S was able to mature socially and D was able to mature academically in that year. Both were better rounded kids for starting K and beyond.

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tainted-meat
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by tainted-meat » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:16 pm

I was held back because I was small when I was young.

I wish I hadn’t been held back - frankly got bored my last couple years of high school and was ready to move on. As an example I took no schoolwork home my JR and SR years. It was a waste of time.

Please don’t hold the kid back.

Glockenspiel
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by Glockenspiel » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:22 pm

I would not hold him back. He’ll catch up in size. Kindergarten is all about kids learning to self-regulate and learn proper social norms. My son has a summer birthday and I think he would get bored if we held him back another year. I really dislike the fad of parents holding kids back.

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TierArtz
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by TierArtz » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:29 pm

My kindergarten experience, and that of my three children worked out fine: enter kindergarten when school starts in your area after the child's 5th birthday. That could range from July to September, depending on the state.

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:46 pm

masha12 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:16 pm
hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 6:37 pm
After going through all of the options a few days ago,I felt a lot better about him waiting when I actually did the age per grade.Like I said earlier he would be the normal age for each grade the first day of school and on the last day of school.I started looking at it more like they would be starting him early now.He would be 17 when he graduates from high school.
I would bet all through school there would be more than a few kids in his class the same age give or take a couple months.

With all due respect, unless you have legal custody of your grandson or the parents have decided to let you make the decision, your opinion is irrelevant. You get to send your kids to kindergarten when you want and other people get to send their kids when they want.

Your grandson sounds bright so I’m thinking it is a safe assumption that he has parents who love him and want wants best for them. I’d stop worrying about things you can’t control and just enjoy being a grandpa.

And, FWIW, the grandparents saw a lot more of my kids before they started school so if you like spending time with your grandson, you’ve been given the gift of a another year of extra time with him. Enjoy it
With all due respect,I am not involved in the decision and in no way have tried to influence it.I do enjoy my grandson and it is my prerogative whether or not I choose to worry about him,but thanks.Legal custody and irrelevant??Someone must have had a challenging grandparent experience.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

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hoops777
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by hoops777 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:57 pm

It has been interesting seeing the differing opinions.It just goes to show how difficult the decision is for his parents.I see the potential positives and negatives in each choice.I actually am helping out in his class tomorrow for the first time since it is a co-op school.I am very interested to see how he interacts with the other kids.His parents have done it a few times already.
K.I.S.S........so easy to say so difficult to do.

DarthSage
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by DarthSage » Sun Mar 17, 2019 4:51 am

My vote would be to send him to K. If there are struggles, after a regular adjustment period, he could always return to preschool, or do 2 years of K. In our former school district, they had a whole class of kids who did "pre-first", as they called it.

I think it has less to do with physical size and birthdate--it's more about his ability to sit still, follow directions, and absorb the material. He sounds like a bright, engaged child--a good candidate to start kindergarten.

gmc4h232
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by gmc4h232 » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:37 am

If he waits a year to start kindergarten , that is one less year of income down the road and one less year of compounding that he is being deprived of.

dcabler
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dcabler » Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:14 am

Every kid is different. Ours has a September Birthday and the cutoff age was September 1st. So we dutifully started her in kindergarten per the age cutoff. She had started reading in 4th grade and within about 4 or 5 weeks the school informed us that she probably should be in 1st grade. So she was moved. At the time the decision was made, cognitively, it was probably OK. But a few years later, the social differences showed up and she was also diagnosed with ADHD. If we had to do it over again, we would have kept her in kindergarten. As it is, she's about to graduate high school and we're seriously wondering if a gap year might be better for her vs. jumping straight into college.

il0kin
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by il0kin » Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:28 am

My son has a late July birthday. My wife’s family has several experiences elementary age teachers and they have advised us that almost all of the kids with summer birthdays have a wide range of intelligence academically (some outperform, some underperform, just depends on the kid) but that the younger kids are almost always less emotionally mature. We have decided to redshirt our son based on their advice.

WhyNotUs
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by WhyNotUs » Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:38 am

The fear of boredom is a modern creation, bogeyman. Boredom is a good thing. 360 degree humans rely on all types of skills rather than specializing in whatever specific topic that parents think they are "gifted" at. With a few rare exceptions, 5 year olds are not destined to be specialists.
Someone who is a little better at something can help someone else get better and then perhaps have a new friend.

The parent will make the decision anyway so no need to worry but the boredom thing is a trigger for me :oops:
I own the next hot stock- VTSAX

veindoc
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by veindoc » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:32 am

WhyNotUs wrote:
Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:38 am
The fear of boredom is a modern creation, bogeyman. Boredom is a good thing.
Agreed

ICMoney
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by ICMoney » Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:43 pm

A couple thoughts based on our experience (though none of ours are fully grown yet):

1. I wanted to push one child into kindergarten but the preschool teacher said they always advise waiting. Indicated that some of the reason was to (in theory) allow for another year of maturity on the back end before college/decision making as "independent" adults which resonated with me.

2. If you hold back, single subject acceleration may be possible if he is way beyond classmates in certain areas. We have one child that goes up to the next grade level in elementary for math every day. The school just needed to verify the child had a good knowledge of everything that would be taught in their current grade at the start of the year (at our request) and six weeks into the year they were moved up to the next grade for math. Child is thriving with this arrangement.

3. Kindergarten academic content now seems more like the first grade academic content when many of us were growing up. (And, that it is often full day now compared to many of us going to half day kindergarten as children) I think these are additional contributing factors to why parents are more likely to redshirt.

Best, ICM

dknightd
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Re: Age for starting kindergarten

Post by dknightd » Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:54 pm

hoops777 wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:51 pm
Our grandson . . .
Not likely your choice to make, unless you have custody.
I don't see a reason to hold your grand kid back.
If you see a reason, make that decision later.

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