What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

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dm200
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What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:23 pm

How might we apply the "Boglehead" philosophy to our funeral and burial plans/expenses?

123
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by 123 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm

No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by livesoft » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:33 pm

There's a youtube video on that: Direct Cremation
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SrGrumpy
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by SrGrumpy » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:37 pm

Cheap cremation, no funeral. But super-expensive ($40,000) plot in prime real estate. Not Boglehead-approved, but I'll be there for a while, might as well enjoy.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by tmcc » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:54 pm

SrGrumpy wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:37 pm
Cheap cremation, no funeral. But super-expensive ($40,000) plot in prime real estate. Not Boglehead-approved, but I'll be there for a while, might as well enjoy.
"Here lies SrGrumpy. Frugal in life, ostentacious in death."

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Hockey10 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:55 pm

Do you qualify for any Veterans benefits? I believe you once mentioned that you served in the military. I never looked into the rules, but an Army friend of mine once told me that I qualified for a free burial at the state veterans cemetery based on my active duty service.

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dm200
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:57 pm

Hockey10 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:55 pm
Do you qualify for any Veterans benefits? I believe you once mentioned that you served in the military. I never looked into the rules, but an Army friend of mine once told me that I qualified for a free burial at the state veterans cemetery based on my active duty service.
Yes - as a veteran, my wife and I can be buried (no charge) in a National Cemetery. If cremated, remains can even be in nearby Arlington National.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by barber » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:01 pm

+1 0n the body donation with free cremation. I have choice of using there burial place or family can claim and dispose as they choose. They will pick up body within a 125 mile range.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by lthenderson » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:02 pm

My mom died this past November, was cremated with remains put in the free cardboard box and had no services. I think the total cost was around $1800 and that included about $200 worth of obituaries posted in three newspapers. We are in the process of scattering her remains at various places she was fond so add another $200 in gas and call it $2000.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:12 pm

Growing up (in the 50's and early 60's) in a low income area, I recall how "important" it was for most people (even with low/modest incomes) to have pretty much "the works" when it came to funerals and burials. My own family, as I recall, would often be very critical when someone died and was in a "welfare casket". They thought it was very important as to how the deceased "looked" at the viewing - and such "viewings" would typically be for 2-3 days/evenings before the funeral.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by whodidntante » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:13 pm

Is there a Ralph's around here?

NotWhoYouThink
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by NotWhoYouThink » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:25 pm

Direct cremation.

Have your next of kin post the wake information on the Boglehead forum for your area. The better you feed and water your friends, the better the stories they tell about you will be.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by goblue100 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:37 pm

I suspect the different answers will run the gamut depending on the individuals. Personally, I hope to not let a loved one depart this plane without appropriate remembrances, but like a wedding , I don't think you need to go broke to do that.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:42 pm

NotWhoYouThink wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:25 pm
Direct cremation.
Have your next of kin post the wake information on the Boglehead forum for your area. The better you feed and water your friends, the better the stories they tell about you will be.
Yes - I believe services and remembrances are important, I believe. However, in most cases, very nice such events/occasions need not be costly or extravagant. As Yogi Berra has been quoted, "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Doom&Gloom » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:45 pm

No Costco near me. I guess Walmart will have to do.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by shell921 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:48 pm

goblue100 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:37 pm
I suspect the different answers will run the gamut depending on the individuals. Personally, I hope to not let a loved one depart this plane without appropriate remembrances, but like a wedding , I don't think you need to go broke to do that.
Right you don't. When my beloved husband of almost 39 years died unexpectedly in 2014 I had a simple cremation.
3 months later I had a 'remembrance gathering' in my home for family and friends. I had a select few bring food,
my brother brought the wine and even some wine glasses and sparkling water for 50 people. Some few family and friends stayed and helped clean up.
Too bad we have to wait until someone is dead to say wonderful things about them. I was so touched by
the many who spoke of my dear husband so lovingly. He would have been too!

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RickBoglehead
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by RickBoglehead » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:52 pm

Costco sells caskets, I used them to price match for my in-laws.

In many states, regulations raise the cost, as you need a funeral director in some (Michigan for one).

Veterans get buried in a national cemetery for free, and free headstone. Honor guard can be arranged, volunteers for spouse, paid personnel for veteran (usually Reserve, it's part of their service time). There is no free transportation (done two, attended 1/2 dozen).

I'm going for direct cremation, cardboard box, scattered ashes in some place where it's not legal to scatter them. :wink:
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:54 pm

Many worship communities offer very respectful funeral/memorial services to their members at a very modest cost. it is also common for such communities to allow use of space for repasts or memorial receptions and have lists of caterers whose charges are modest as well. Some (such as my late father's) have groups that put on such repasts/receptions at no direct cost - but do accept donations.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:57 pm

RickBoglehead wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 2:52 pm
In many states, regulations raise the cost, as you need a funeral director in some (Michigan for one).
Veterans get buried in a national cemetery for free, and free headstone. Honor guard can be arranged, volunteers for spouse, paid personnel for veteran (usually Reserve, it's part of their service time). There is no free transportation (done two, attended 1/2 dozen).
I'm going for direct cremation, cardboard box, scattered ashes in some place where it's not legal to scatter them. :wink:
In some cases, the burial of the veteran or spouse is not done for a considerable period of time after death. In other cases (I have attended several) burial at the National cemetery happens immediately after the funeral.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Miriam2 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:04 pm

dm200 wrote: How might we apply the "Boglehead" philosophy to our funeral and burial plans/expenses?
Here is another recent thread with interesting discussion :happy

Preparing financially for our funerals

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by JediMisty » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:17 pm

123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
"Pre-arranged" part is crucial. I've pre-donated my remains to my nearby medical school. The body must be in "newly deceased" condition, so your next of kin must be brought into the decision. In case I am not nearby when I pass away, my next of kin has agreed to cremation, and the scattering of my ashes. I don't want to waste space with my remains. It's also possible to shop on the internet for caskets at a highly reduced price. Funeral homes are legally required to use any casket, etc provided by the next of kin. Most of the services provided at a funeral home are optional. Pre-arranged funerals help to keep costs down in some cases.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:21 pm

JediMisty wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:17 pm
123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
"Pre-arranged" part is crucial. I've pre-donated my remains to my nearby medical school. The body must be in "newly deceased" condition, so your next of kin must be brought into the decision. In case I am not nearby when I pass away, my next of kin has agreed to cremation, and the scattering of my ashes. I don't want to waste space with my remains. It's also possible to shop on the internet for caskets at a highly reduced price. Funeral homes are legally required to use any casket, etc provided by the next of kin. Most of the services provided at a funeral home are optional. Pre-arranged funerals help to keep costs down in some cases.
I am considering donation to medical school as well. You must have a "backup" plan in case your body is not suitable for donation or if the medical school, at that time, is just not accepting body donations.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by letsgobobby » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:22 pm

Clakr Howard suggests joining a non profit memorial society.

https://clark.com/family-lifestyle/save ... l-society/

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Teague » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:26 pm

Arrangements should be carefully shopped for and arranged in advance. Seek out direct-to-consumer products for headstones, caskets, urns, etc. when possible. Keep things as basic as personal and family beliefs and traditions allow. Finally, any hearse should be a 2-3 year old used Corolla.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by dm200 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:29 pm

Teague wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:26 pm
Arrangements should be carefully shopped for and arranged in advance. Seek out direct-to-consumer products for headstones, caskets, urns, etc. when possible. Keep things as basic as personal and family beliefs and traditions allow. Finally, any hearse should be a 2-3 year old used Corolla.
Yes "arranged for" but not "paid for" in advance.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by JediMisty » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:33 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:21 pm
JediMisty wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:17 pm
123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
"Pre-arranged" part is crucial. I've pre-donated my remains to my nearby medical school. The body must be in "newly deceased" condition, so your next of kin must be brought into the decision. In case I am not nearby when I pass away, my next of kin has agreed to cremation, and the scattering of my ashes. I don't want to waste space with my remains. It's also possible to shop on the internet for caskets at a highly reduced price. Funeral homes are legally required to use any casket, etc provided by the next of kin. Most of the services provided at a funeral home are optional. Pre-arranged funerals help to keep costs down in some cases.
I am considering donation to medical school as well. You must have a "backup" plan in case your body is not suitable for donation or if the medical school, at that time, is just not accepting body donations.
10-4 on the back-up plan. As I mentioned, mine is cremation. Rutgers doesn't pay for transportation to the medical school which would be minimal. If they do use my remains, they are ultimately cremated after "class" is over anyway. I've left no specific instructions as to services, as they are for the living. I won't care.....

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by 6Pack » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm

Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by daytona084 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:42 pm

It sure seems like the underlying theme in almost all of the posts so far is "Boglehead Funeral = Cheap". I beg to differ. I would say the Boglehead, having invested wisely and amassed a large nest egg, can have whatever funeral he or she wants, without regard to cost.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by JediMisty » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:46 pm

6Pack wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!
Wow. This is a good idea. Did you prepare for the legal size of the digging? I imagine there are requirements... My land is only about 9 and 9/10 acres short....

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Watty » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:50 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:23 pm
How might we apply the "Boglehead" philosophy to our funeral and burial plans/expenses?
About the time they made their funeral prearrangements there was a big deal in the local newspaper where part of a graveyard had to be moved to expand a highway and the families involved were paid a lot of money to get permission to do that.

My parents bought two cemetery plots right next to a moderately busy road and told us that when they needed to move them some day that the money was to be used to pay for the great grandkids college.

On a more serious side one thing to do is to leave a list of people that should be notified when you die and there contact information. My mom survived my dad and when she died it was difficult to figure out just who to call to let them know about the funeral arrangements.

pdavi21
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by pdavi21 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:53 pm

An oxymoron.

EDIT: Actually, the body is moved to a tax favorable location where the death is faked, a family member impersonator moves assets, the Executor reads a will with very specific instructions, then the body is dumped in international waters.
Last edited by pdavi21 on Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by stan1 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:59 pm

6Pack wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!
I'd make sure you know what laws apply to disclosing a burial on the property if your wife or family choose to sell the property. They could end up having to move you someplace else. Or, perhaps your wife would keep the property long after she would otherwise have chosen to move someplace easier to maintain as she ages. Sometimes things that sound simple turn out not to be.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by arcticpineapplecorp. » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:03 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:21 pm
JediMisty wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:17 pm
123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
"Pre-arranged" part is crucial. I've pre-donated my remains to my nearby medical school. The body must be in "newly deceased" condition, so your next of kin must be brought into the decision. In case I am not nearby when I pass away, my next of kin has agreed to cremation, and the scattering of my ashes. I don't want to waste space with my remains. It's also possible to shop on the internet for caskets at a highly reduced price. Funeral homes are legally required to use any casket, etc provided by the next of kin. Most of the services provided at a funeral home are optional. Pre-arranged funerals help to keep costs down in some cases.
I am considering donation to medical school as well. You must have a "backup" plan in case your body is not suitable for donation or if the medical school, at that time, is just not accepting body donations.
this is true. I am donating my body to science care (https://www.sciencecare.com/). The entire thing is free, even transport of the body. Many medical schools won't pay for transport so you'll be out that charge (or your family will) if you donate to a medical school.

At the anniversary of your death science care plants a tree in your honor. They return cremains if desired to family, if not wanted, they won't.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Jimmie » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:05 pm

123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
Or should that be THREE medical schools? And at least one of them international. :D

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by veggivet » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:11 pm

Burial in green cemetery, sans service is my preference.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Watty » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:13 pm

6Pack wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!
That would also be a complication when the land is eventually sold.

There may also be restrictions on having a well within a certain distance of a grave which could make part of your land unbuildable. :shock:

The subdivision I was raised in was built on farmland that had one old grave. Someone in that subdivision ended up with that grave in their backyard. I don't know any of the details but I would assume that would impact the resale value of the house.

In some states when there is a grave there may also be a right for people to come and visit the grave which some potential buyers might not want.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by DarthSage » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:15 pm

When my MIL was alive, I offered to wrap her in black plastic trash bags and leave her on the curb with the trash. She was a Boglehead in spirit (never joined the forum, but would have fit right in here). She just laughed and said, "I wish you could!"

She had wanted to donate herself to a medical school, but it didn't work out. Instead, we had a cheap cremation and a tasteful memorial service afterwards. I believe a small amount of money was spent on flowers, and we fed the guests lunch afterwards. It was in keeping with her spirit.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Momus » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:16 pm

Cryogenics with Alcor in AZ. I think it costs 80-220k?

https://alcor.org

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by mrc » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:19 pm

123 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:25 pm
No service or arrangements. Simple pre-arranged donation of remains to medical school.
This is my wish as well. I'm told by doctor friends (and other researchers) they remember their cadavers for the rest of their lives. Same for my older family members.

Failing that (not all bodies are accepted), a low-cost direct cremation.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Mingus » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:27 pm

Burial at sea.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by TheTimeLord » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:31 pm

dm200 wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 1:23 pm
How might we apply the "Boglehead" philosophy to our funeral and burial plans/expenses?
Instead of a casket be buried in a 2001 Honda Civic with a phone from Consumer Cellular.
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by FGal » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:41 pm

No funeral, no burial site, stone... nothing. I'm hoping to go to a body farm (for forensic researchers) but if there aren't any slots open, then I'm fine with basic body donation for medical/science use. And I could care less what they do with it after they're done.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by 6Pack » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:54 pm

JediMisty wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:46 pm
6Pack wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!
Wow. This is a good idea. Did you prepare for the legal size of the digging? I imagine there are requirements... My land is only about 9 and 9/10 acres short....
won't be an issue. we have a backhoe on the family farm (where this would be)

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by 6Pack » Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:55 pm

Watty wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:13 pm
6Pack wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Our local zoning allows for “family burial plots” on parcels 10 acres or more. I told my wife that I want to be buried in the backyard as cheap as possible, which is surprisingly legal. Take that funeral industry!
That would also be a complication when the land is eventually sold.

There may also be restrictions on having a well within a certain distance of a grave which could make part of your land unbuildable. :shock:

The subdivision I was raised in was built on farmland that had one old grave. Someone in that subdivision ended up with that grave in their backyard. I don't know any of the details but I would assume that would impact the resale value of the house.

In some states when there is a grave there may also be a right for people to come and visit the grave which some potential buyers might not want.
It'll be on the family farm. Anyone that wants to sell it years after my demise can deal with it - it won't matter to me.

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StevieG72
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by StevieG72 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:07 pm

Direct cremation, I have already instructed my kiddo of my wishes.

Ashes scattered in the Chesapeake Bay, I don't want to be confined to an urn nor do I want a family member to have to keep up with my ashes.

Specific instruction for my friend to not handle spreading my ashes as he will just flush them down the toilet claiming they will make it to the bay eventually.
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

Woodworker2
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by Woodworker2 » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:11 pm

Medical school donation: pickup ,delivery, disposal. No obituary , no services [including a celebration of life]. I have reminded all I will be dead.

HoosierJim
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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by HoosierJim » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:16 pm

I would like to have my remains placed in a Folgers coffee can and scattered between La Jolla and Leo Carrilllo at all the best surf locations (unless prohibited by law) - otherwise - bare minimum lawful requirements.

This obituary can be paraphrased.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by littlebird » Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:57 pm

Mingus wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:27 pm
Burial at sea.
I looked into that for my navy veteran (WWII) spouse when the time comes. The navy provides a burial of either the entire body or cremains for their own. You have to deliver the product to the port.

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Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by chevca » Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:15 pm

Cement shoes and a deep lake, or a pig farm? What, did I just take it too far? :happy

The veteran or military cemetery mentioned are probably the best option I've seen mentioned. Therefore, everyone should join the military to have a cheaper burial someday. :happy

Although, the viewing and casket aren't free. My parents were both buried in a national cemetery and it still cost a little money to get it all done.

camden
Posts: 242
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 12:22 pm

Re: What is a Boglehead funeral/burial?

Post by camden » Sat Jan 19, 2019 6:23 pm

DarthSage wrote:
Sat Jan 19, 2019 4:15 pm
When my MIL was alive, I offered to wrap her in black plastic trash bags and leave her on the curb with the trash. She was a Boglehead in spirit (never joined the forum, but would have fit right in here). She just laughed and said, "I wish you could!"

She had wanted to donate herself to a medical school, but it didn't work out. Instead, we had a cheap cremation and a tasteful memorial service afterwards. I believe a small amount of money was spent on flowers, and we fed the guests lunch afterwards. It was in keeping with her spirit.
Your late MIL and I are in complete agreement; I have often told listeners that if it were legal to just dump the body in a landfill, that would be my choice. However, my wife feels differently. Very differently. One of those choices in life that are not yours alone to make.

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