Regret Public School?

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BradJ
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Regret Public School?

Post by BradJ » Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:26 am

I live in an area where public schools are awful, and private schools are rather “affordable.” My family and I decided to move to a suburb outside of town to be in a better school district, but still go back and forth on what is the better option. In my experience, I actually meet a ton of older people who regret sending their kids to private, or I hear people my age (30s) who wished they would have gone to public schools. Has anyone regretted sending their kids to public school?

Just a little information on me: my Dad, brother, brother in law and wife all went to prestigious private schools. I went to a joke of a public school, and what I can tell, we turned out all the same.

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Meaty
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Meaty » Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:52 am

Assuming the school is safe, the work ethic of the student has WAY more influence on learning than the school itself
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tibbitts
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by tibbitts » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:00 am

BradJ wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:26 am
I live in an area where public schools are awful, and private schools are rather “affordable.” My family and I decided to move to a suburb outside of town to be in a better school district, but still go back and forth on what is the better option. In my experience, I actually meet a ton of older people who regret sending their kids to private, or I hear people my age (30s) who wished they would have gone to public schools. Has anyone regretted sending their kids to public school?

Just a little information on me: my Dad, brother, brother in law and wife all went to prestigious private schools. I went to a joke of a public school, and what I can tell, we turned out all the same.
Well you always have some grass-always-greener comments. Nobody can live both paths and so can't really say how things would have turned out.

squirm
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by squirm » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:18 am

We send our kids to private. I attended both, I never had a good experience at public schools.
My friend teaches at public, he said most parents at his school don't care about their kids education... The parents don't go to open house, attend meetings or even have a one on one with him.

The schools our kids go to kick out the disruptive kids, they probably end up in the public schools.
Last edited by squirm on Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

TigerNest
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by TigerNest » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:23 am

I went to public school and had a great experience. We plan to send our kids to public schools. However, we plan to move to a very good school district when they're reach school age. If we stayed in our current neighborhood, we'd likely pay for a private one.

There's no denying the distribution of public school quality in the US is profoundly uneven. If your local one is awful, as you say, you should have no qualms in sending them to a private one. You probably end up paying for a good public school with property taxes anyway.

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JMacDonald
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by JMacDonald » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:27 am

I attended a private school. Not a good experience. As a teacher I would occasionally get a student that transferred from a private school. It was interesting to see how that school evaluated that student compared to my students. I got the feeling that the previous school was just telling the parent what they wanted to hear and not evaluating the student correctly.

I believe that you will find that both private and public schools differ in quality. But in the end it is what the student makes of his or her education that matters far more than the school.
Best Wishes, | Joe

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BradJ
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by BradJ » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:30 am

I find that when I tell people about my small town, public school experience, most city, private school graduates tell me they would pay to have the memories I have.

Jags4186
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Jags4186 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:33 am

I went to public school K-8, catholic all boys school 9-12, and then I went to UVA as an out of state student. I loved high school and college for different reasons, but my best friends today are still the people I went to high school with. I will also say that I never would have gotten into UVA if I had went to the public high school in my town.

The only downside to going to private school were that there were a few activities that I previously was part of that the private school I went to didn’t have. I simply learned new activities.

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by TomatoTomahto » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:33 am

tibbitts wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:00 am

Well you always have some grass-always-greener comments. Nobody can live both paths and so can't really say how things would have turned out.
Our two kids transitioned from public to private, at different times, and there was a time where one was in public and the other private.

Our situation is different from OP's in that the public schools in our (old) town are widely regarded as exceptional and are nationally ranked among the best. Property taxes were high ($40k) and private school tuition was not inexpensive ($45k per child per year, or thereabouts). I do not regret the transition to private school. In our experience, once a child is placed on a track, the public school will not reassess. This was deadly for one of our sons, who was in remedial math classes in middle school. After private school (where he became the highest ranked math student by his junior year), he received a combined MS/BS degree in Computer Science from Yale, with a strong emphasis on math. The public high school never reconsidered his placement, even after our repeated attempts; they believed their press clippings.

I regret that we made him suffer through Middle School in the public. There were some parental soul crushing experiences where he wondered why he was placed with the "slower kids" in the public. Recollections of his confusion and despair still sadden me, and the helpless feeling of a parent who couldn't sufficiently advocate for his child are a memory I carry with me. Our intentions were good, and I am relieved that we could afford to send him to a school that actually paid attention to who he was. For what it's worth, he's done fine and continues to do fine, but I think he has earned a justifiable cynicism of educational bureaucracy.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by stoptothink » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:37 am

Meaty wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:52 am
Assuming the school is safe, the work ethic of the student has WAY more influence on learning than the school itself
And the home environment probably has even more influence than the inherent work ethic of the student. Just do a search, countless threads on this topic and you are unlikely to find anybody who went to a private or is sending their kid to a private or who moved specifically to send their kids to a better rated public school say it is a waste, but it is virtually impossible to objectively prove either way.

FWIW, I went to one of the single lowest rates schools in the entire state of California and I actually have a younger brother who ended up at a very prestigious private (full scholarship due to his soccer talents); guess which one of us has a PhD and is a c-level exec and which one of us spent his 20's in drug rehab and is currently an alcoholic who answers phones for his FIL's construction business?

KlangFool
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by KlangFool » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:46 am

OP,

There is a separate but equally important issue: your neighborhood. If the public school in your neighborhood is not good enough, is that someplace where you want to live and raise your family?

KlangFool

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BradJ
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by BradJ » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:51 am

KlangFool wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:46 am
OP,

There is a separate but equally important issue: your neighborhood. If the public school in your neighborhood is not good enough, is that someplace where you want to live and raise your family?

KlangFool
I can’t speak for all Southern states, but the many I have lived in, good schools and nice neighborhoods can be mutually exclusive.

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llama
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by llama » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:53 am

I went to a public school that was decent, but not great. The quality of teaching varied widely: Some teachers were just babysitters and should have been fired. Others were amazing and would give me as much extra work as I asked for and spent extra time after school working with me. I ended up getting a great math/science education at an otherwise mediocre school because of a few star teachers and my own motivation.

Edit: To answer the question, no, I don't regret that my parents sent me to my neighborhood public school instead of private school or the nearby nationally-recognized science magnet school. I made friends from a wide variety of backgrounds, and found the people friendlier and more normal than those I met at my Ivy League college.
Last edited by llama on Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

KlangFool
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by KlangFool » Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:54 am

BradJ wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:51 am
KlangFool wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:46 am
OP,

There is a separate but equally important issue: your neighborhood. If the public school in your neighborhood is not good enough, is that someplace where you want to live and raise your family?

KlangFool
I can’t speak for all Southern states, but the many I have lived in, good schools and nice neighborhoods can be mutually exclusive.
BradJ,

I won't raise my family in a place that does not have both.

KlangFool

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jabberwockOG
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by jabberwockOG » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:03 am

Much better for everyone involved to spend the significant extra money instead on another home in a nicer neighborhood with highest rated public schools. The dirty secret is that the dominant factor in student achievement and test results of a specific school is the income and education level of the parents of kids attending that specific school. That one factor overrides everything else (spending per student, student teacher ratio, special programs, etc.) by a wide margin. And coincidentally you will almost always find higher education and income level parents residing in neighborhoods that have highest rated schools.

xenochrony
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by xenochrony » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:11 am

I went to public school for k-12 and my B.S and private school for my PhD. I received a fantastic education, in particular at the public (state) flagship Univ for my B.S. Opportunity to excel was there, some made use of it, like myself, others not. In K-12 public school, I was often placed in gifted programs/classes and that probably made a difference.

Both of my daughters are in public school. We pay through the nose in housing to live in an area with very highly rated public schools. Are these the "best" schools anywhere? Probably not. But my daughters are excelling, many opportunities at school exist, technology is readily available/used at the schools, and problem/disruptive children in class are the exception, not the rule.

I have zero regrets about the public schools I, or my children attend(ed). YMMV.

The private Univ. I received my PhD, however, did have very fancy woodwork in the buildings, leather chairs, exquisitely sculpted landscaping, and lots of private scholarship $$.

xenochrony

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vineviz
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by vineviz » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:16 am

All three of my children have been through public schools, and I have never had a single regret.

We picked our neighborhood specifically because we would be zoned to the best performing elementary and middle school in what is otherwise a pretty low performing urban school district. Many of our neighbors have done the same, but nearly as many choose private schools (mostly, I think, because they anchored on the district's overall performance instead of the specific school's performance but also because the private schools are more racially and socio-economically homogenous).

My experience has been that most kids thrive in public schools in part because the teachers are generally better in public than private schools (union contracts generally make teaching in public schools MUCH more lucrative than teaching in private schools). We've never had a problem with our kids being challenged academically (we just sent our oldest for coaching in math to prepare for the SAT and the prep company basically told us she was so well schooled that we'd be wasting our money).

Among our friends who've kids have struggled in public schools, I'd say the common denominator has been that the child has some sort of mild special need: either a borderline learning disability or an untreated behavioral issue. I say "mild" special need because students with pronounced special needs generally get expert treatment in public schools, and many parents in our area move their kids to public schools to take advantage of that. However, the high student/teacher ratios present a challenge for kids who need to be mainstreamed but also need a little extra help.
"Far more money has been lost by investors preparing for corrections than has been lost in corrections themselves." ~~ Peter Lynch

OnTrack2020
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by OnTrack2020 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:17 am

TomatoTomahto wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:33 am
tibbitts wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:00 am

Well you always have some grass-always-greener comments. Nobody can live both paths and so can't really say how things would have turned out.
Our two kids transitioned from public to private, at different times, and there was a time where one was in public and the other private.

Our situation is different from OP's in that the public schools in our (old) town are widely regarded as exceptional and are nationally ranked among the best. Property taxes were high ($40k) and private school tuition was not inexpensive ($45k per child per year, or thereabouts). I do not regret the transition to private school. In our experience, once a child is placed on a track, the public school will not reassess. This was deadly for one of our sons, who was in remedial math classes in middle school. After private school (where he became the highest ranked math student by his junior year), he received a combined MS/BS degree in Computer Science from Yale, with a strong emphasis on math. The public high school never reconsidered his placement, even after our repeated attempts; they believed their press clippings.

I regret that we made him suffer through Middle School in the public. There were some parental soul crushing experiences where he wondered why he was placed with the "slower kids" in the public. Recollections of his confusion and despair still sadden me, and the helpless feeling of a parent who couldn't sufficiently advocate for his child are a memory I carry with me. Our intentions were good, and I am relieved that we could afford to send him to a school that actually paid attention to who he was. For what it's worth, he's done fine and continues to do fine, but I think he has earned a justifiable cynicism of educational bureaucracy.
I had to re-read this post. I do believe, and only after watching a math competition, that boys in particular really start to excel in math in middle school. Why the school wouldn't want to push those abilities is beyond me. I had tried to have our son advanced a grade in elementary school---the school would not have any of it. We are limited in our schooling choices in both public and private school in our area. I think our son had a fairly good education in a public school and now attends a private college majoring in CS.

I also think that for kids who really need the additional academic help (as three of ours have) that you really have to be on top of what is going on at school--whether that be private or public.

At the end of the day, it really boils down to the motivation of the student.

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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by vineviz » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:18 am

jabberwockOG wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:03 am
Much better for everyone involved to spend the significant extra money instead on another home in a nicer neighborhood with highest rated public schools. The dirty secret is that the dominant factor in student achievement and test results of a specific school is the income and education level of the parents of kids attending that specific school. That one factor overrides everything else (spending per student, student teacher ratio, special programs, etc.) by a wide margin. And coincidentally you will almost always find higher education and income level parents residing in neighborhoods that have highest rated schools.
I agree with everything here, except that it is no coincidence that "higher education and income level parents" reside in "neighborhoods that have highest rated schools". There is definitely a causal link, and almost certainly one that is working in both directions.
"Far more money has been lost by investors preparing for corrections than has been lost in corrections themselves." ~~ Peter Lynch

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by TomatoTomahto » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:23 am

jabberwockOG wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:03 am
Much better for everyone involved to spend the significant extra money instead on another home in a nicer neighborhood with highest rated public schools.
I would like to agree, but my personal experience was that, having spent the 7 digits to move into such a house, and the $40k annual property taxes to allow us to continue to live there, that we still had to fork over $45k per child per year to get the schooling that our kids deserved.

To add insult to injury, we were frequently asked, "you live in a town with great schools; why would you send your kid to private?" I just replied that we were stupid and insane, with a smile or without, depending on who asked.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

OnTrack2020
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by OnTrack2020 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:23 am

vineviz wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:16 am

Among our friends who've kids have struggled in public schools, I'd say the common denominator has been that the child has some sort of mild special need: either a borderline learning disability or an untreated behavioral issue. I say "mild" special need because students with pronounced special needs generally get expert treatment in public schools, and many parents in our area move their kids to public schools to take advantage of that. However, the high student/teacher ratios present a challenge for kids who need to be mainstreamed but also need a little extra help.
Yes, this.

indexonlyplease
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by indexonlyplease » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:29 am

As someone has already stated, if the child is in a safe environment going to school and at school, then it is all about the child. The child will decide if they are willing to work hard for the good grades. Also, the public schools have so much to offer because of funding and no profits needed. I include charter schools in this also.

Now if they would just pay the teachers for their hard work, many good teachers would not quit after a few years and move to a different career. But this happens in both private and public schools.

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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Irisheyes » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:30 am

jabberwockOG wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:03 am
Much better for everyone involved to spend the significant extra money instead on another home in a nicer neighborhood with highest rated public schools. The dirty secret is that the dominant factor in student achievement and test results of a specific school is the income and education level of the parents of kids attending that specific school. That one factor overrides everything else (spending per student, student teacher ratio, special programs, etc.) by a wide margin. And coincidentally you will almost always find higher education and income level parents residing in neighborhoods that have highest rated schools.
This.

In fact, I read an interesting report from researchers at U Virginia just this week that argued exactly this -- when you factor parental incomes into the equation, private schools perform no better than public schools. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/ans ... 588f44e722)

Disclaimer; I send my child to the local, good-albeit-not-stellar, public school.

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by TomatoTomahto » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:34 am

OnTrack2020 wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:17 am
TomatoTomahto wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:33 am
tibbitts wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:00 am

Well you always have some grass-always-greener comments. Nobody can live both paths and so can't really say how things would have turned out.
Our two kids transitioned from public to private, at different times, and there was a time where one was in public and the other private.

Our situation is different from OP's in that the public schools in our (old) town are widely regarded as exceptional and are nationally ranked among the best. Property taxes were high ($40k) and private school tuition was not inexpensive ($45k per child per year, or thereabouts). I do not regret the transition to private school. In our experience, once a child is placed on a track, the public school will not reassess. This was deadly for one of our sons, who was in remedial math classes in middle school. After private school (where he became the highest ranked math student by his junior year), he received a combined MS/BS degree in Computer Science from Yale, with a strong emphasis on math. The public high school never reconsidered his placement, even after our repeated attempts; they believed their press clippings.

I regret that we made him suffer through Middle School in the public. There were some parental soul crushing experiences where he wondered why he was placed with the "slower kids" in the public. Recollections of his confusion and despair still sadden me, and the helpless feeling of a parent who couldn't sufficiently advocate for his child are a memory I carry with me. Our intentions were good, and I am relieved that we could afford to send him to a school that actually paid attention to who he was. For what it's worth, he's done fine and continues to do fine, but I think he has earned a justifiable cynicism of educational bureaucracy.
I had to re-read this post. I do believe, and only after watching a math competition, that boys in particular really start to excel in math in middle school. Why the school wouldn't want to push those abilities is beyond me. I had tried to have our son advanced a grade in elementary school---the school would not have any of it. We are limited in our schooling choices in both public and private school in our area. I think our son had a fairly good education in a public school and now attends a private college majoring in CS.

I also think that for kids who really need the additional academic help (as three of ours have) that you really have to be on top of what is going on at school--whether that be private or public.

At the end of the day, it really boils down to the motivation of the student.
Thank you for taking the time to re-read my post. My political inclination is to prefer public schools, and it was not an easy decision to ignore how much we had spent to live in a house precisely because the public schools were reputed to be so good (and in fact, are good for a majority of the students).

I think the schools don't push those abilities for any number of reasons: laziness, the thought that "we're doing really well by our students, just look at the rankings," the various biases (confirmation, etc.) that we discuss on the forum when it comes to investing, etc. There are some exceptionally good teachers in public schools, and there might well be good administrators too, but I have not met them. The ones I'm familiar with probably did a coin toss to decide whether to work at the Department of Motor Vehicles or the Public School.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

windaar
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by windaar » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:46 am

I am familiar with quite a few independent schools. Though they can vary significantly in many aspects, two constants are smaller class size than publics and faculty who get their Master’s degrees in their subject rather than in education. The independent schools in our area also have much greater racial and ethnic diversity than the public schools, though I’m sure this is not the case everywhere. Families need to be able to decide what is best for their children without the judgement of everyone else.

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celia
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by celia » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:54 am

DH and I taught in both public and church-based schools. The philosophy and student body and graduation/college acceptance rates were vastly different. We chose church-based schools for our kids.

One time they were complaining about their schools. I asked if they would prefer home-schooling since we could also arrange for that. They said, "No thanks". :oops:

(I'm somewhat of a tiger mom.)

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TomatoTomahto
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by TomatoTomahto » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:02 pm

windaar wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:46 am
I am familiar with quite a few independent schools. Though they can vary significantly in many aspects, two constants are smaller class size than publics and faculty who get their Master’s degrees in their subject rather than in education. The independent schools in our area also have much greater racial and ethnic diversity than the public schools, though I’m sure this is not the case everywhere. Families need to be able to decide what is best for their children without the judgement of everyone else.
To our surprise, the independent school we sent our kids to (in Northern NJ) also was more diverse than the public school in our (affluent) town. They had significant financial aid available.

Another thing we discovered was that many of the faculty decided to teach after successful other careers in private industry. My son’s chemistry teacher had many patents earned while at Bell Labs, his physics teacher had a successful time on Wall Street, etc.
Okay, I get it; I won't be political or controversial. The Earth is flat.

Isabelle77
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Isabelle77 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:21 pm

This debate always somewhat irritates me.

Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.

It is absolutely impossible to compare public and private schools and their value in general.

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BolderBoy
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by BolderBoy » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:42 pm

Meaty wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:52 am
Assuming the school is safe, the work ethic of the student has WAY more influence on learning than the school itself
... and the involvement of the parent(s) in the kid's learning.

The school itself is down the list on the importance scale.
"Never underestimate one's capacity to overestimate one's abilities" - The Dunning-Kruger Effect

dekecarver
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by dekecarver » Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:59 pm

My experience was the best drugs were available at the private schools, some parents didn't have a clue (no different than some public school parents), parent involvement is just as important as student involvement in both private and public schools, students in both private and public cheat/plagiarize/lie/steal etc and in some cases the private school gang was much better at those things, and there are some really nice kids in both public and private schools. In the end both private and public school students who are go getters get into excellent schools, excel, make do or flunk out, and become successful citizens doing something of interest ( :sharebeer ). My thoughts are based on my experience from years ago, discussing this issue with my SIL who is currently a head administrator in a top notch public school district and most recently talking with a private school administrator during a round of golf. Amazing how some things just don't change or at least not much; I think it is due to the human factor.

ScubaHogg
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by ScubaHogg » Sat Jul 28, 2018 1:00 pm

Can only speak to my personal experience (and speaking only to the academic component,not friendships, etc.). I went to a “good” public high school / school district. I wasn’t a particularly hard worker, but neither was I a total slacker. I would say that in terms of work ethic, I was a little above average teenage male gifted with an above average aptitude for school.

I would rate my public school experience as mediocre. I had several very good high school teachers, but several who should have been summarily fired and likely would have been in a non-government job. When I somehow got into and attended a top 20 university I quickly discovered how far I was behind almost all of my peers, most of which (guesstimate) attended private high schools. It took me a frantic year and a half before I would say I was caught up.

Upon reflection, my assessment was that there was zero systematic accountability for my public school teachers to take responsibility for the progress of the children in their classrooms. Some did, but that was because of the type of people they were, not because of the system holding them to it. Others did not, and they could just cut a swath of destruction for 30 years and no one would do anything. Now that I have friends who teach in both public and private schools, I would say my assessment was correct-ish.

For what it’s worth, I plan on private school for my future children.

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JoeRetire
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by JoeRetire » Sat Jul 28, 2018 1:45 pm

BradJ wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:26 am
Has anyone regretted sending their kids to public school?
Not us. Not for a minute.
Just a little information on me: my Dad, brother, brother in law and wife all went to prestigious private schools.
Getting pressured? Is that why you pose this question?
Very Stable Genius

denovo
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by denovo » Sat Jul 28, 2018 1:45 pm

BradJ wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:26 am
I live in an area where public schools are awful, and private schools are rather “affordable.” My family and I decided to move to a suburb outside of town to be in a better school district, but still go back and forth on what is the better option. In my experience, I actually meet a ton of older people who regret sending their kids to private, or I hear people my age (30s) who wished they would have gone to public schools. Has anyone regretted sending their kids to public school?

Just a little information on me: my Dad, brother, brother in law and wife all went to prestigious private schools. I went to a joke of a public school, and what I can tell, we turned out all the same.
Here is the actual proof from a study.

https://www.gradesaver.com/freakonomics ... -chapter-5
Levitt presents sixteen variables tested by the ECLS. Eight of these are strongly correlated with success in school, either positive or negative, and eight have little relationship with academic success at all. The factors that matter are the parents' education level, socioeconomic status, age, language spoken at home, involvement in the PTA, the child's birthweight, whether or not the child was adopted, and whether or not there are many books in the home. Conversely, the makeup of the child's family, a move to a better neighborhood, whether or not the mother stayed home from work, whether or not the child attended Head Start, whether or not the child is spanked or watches television, and whether or not the parents read to the child all had little-to-no effect.

All of this suggests that most of the things that matter in parenting are determined even before the child is born. It is more about the circumstances that a child is born into, rather than anything specific the parents do. Parents who are well educated, successful, and healthy tend to have children who test well in school. Parents matter a great deal—but not in the ways that most people think
Last edited by denovo on Sat Jul 28, 2018 2:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Don't trust everything you read on the Internet"- Abraham Lincoln

rick51
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Location: Maryland

Re: Regret Public School?

Post by rick51 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 2:24 pm

[quote]Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.
[/quote]

Thank you Isabelle77, and sometimes dramatically so...

And thanks to denovo for the study ref. You would think this would be an interesting topic for academic study and I imagine there are a number of studies.
Last edited by rick51 on Sun Jul 29, 2018 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

jmk
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by jmk » Sat Jul 28, 2018 2:51 pm

This question can't be answered generally.
In my city, for instance, there are bad public schools and also great "magnet" public school, together with some pretty bad private schools and some good and bad charters. The best public and charter schools (both free to residents) are internationally ranked--but there are plenty of both that suck.

JBTX
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by JBTX » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:03 pm

My two going through public schools and no regrets.

There have been a couple of studies that have demonstrated for any given kid, on average, their outcome is generally as good in public as in private. Of course that is on average. Not every kid is average.

Unless it is a very expensive private school, chances are a private school pays teachers less, and you may have more turnover. The good ones quickly move up the chain to management.

ralph124cf
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by ralph124cf » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:12 pm

When I lived in LA, both of my next door neighbors were public school teachers.

They sent their kids to a private school.

Ralph

likegarden
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by likegarden » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:13 pm

My son and grandson went to a very good public school in the suburbs. Son became an engineer, grandson is also good in math and science, now coming to high school. None of us went to private school. Good students get tracked into accelerated classes for fast learning. Any trouble makers don't have the grades to get into those classes. My wife and I also only went to public schools in the past, both of us got masters in college. We always liked our (public) schools.

Rupert
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Rupert » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:28 pm

Isabelle77 wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:21 pm
This debate always somewhat irritates me.

Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.

It is absolutely impossible to compare public and private schools and their value in general.
+1000. That said, from a strictly financial perspective, it rarely makes sense to send a child to private school. But the decision is never a strictly financial one, is it? It's easy to say "always send your kids to public school" when you live in Palo Alto, CA, or Newton, Mass., but we can't all live in those places.

mouses
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by mouses » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:30 pm

My brother sent his son to a private school. The son is a good kid and was interested in athletics. He was never allowed on any teams and he was jeered by the team members. Years later, someone who had also attended the school told me that was because his parents had not donated to the school, that if they had things would have been different. What a rotten thing to do to a nice kid.

Isabelle77
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Isabelle77 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:43 pm

mouses wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:30 pm
My brother sent his son to a private school. The son is a good kid and was interested in athletics. He was never allowed on any teams and he was jeered by the team members. Years later, someone who had also attended the school told me that was because his parents had not donated to the school, that if they had things would have been different. What a rotten thing to do to a nice kid.
This sounds like a joke or something from a movie. I went to one of the most elite private high schools in the world and no one would have done anything like this. The administration may have (did) treated disciplinary issues differently for the children of big donors but individual kids wouldn't have known or cared. Honestly, I'm sure there is much more to this story.

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vineviz
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by vineviz » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:46 pm

Isabelle77 wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:43 pm
mouses wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:30 pm
My brother sent his son to a private school. The son is a good kid and was interested in athletics. He was never allowed on any teams and he was jeered by the team members. Years later, someone who had also attended the school told me that was because his parents had not donated to the school, that if they had things would have been different. What a rotten thing to do to a nice kid.
This sounds like a joke or something from a movie. I went to one of the most elite private high schools in the world and no one would have done anything like this. The administration may have (did) treated disciplinary issues differently for the children of big donors but individual kids wouldn't have known or cared. Honestly, I'm sure there is much more to this story.
It may not be the norm, but it’s not the least bit uncommon unfortunately.
"Far more money has been lost by investors preparing for corrections than has been lost in corrections themselves." ~~ Peter Lynch

dekecarver
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by dekecarver » Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:54 pm

Just another thought; when is the last time you heard of a kid being held back because of grades? That was fairly common years ago for 3rd, 5th and 7th graders; now days, "how dare you not pass my child", hence mastery learning and grading, yes I'm oversimplifying. Bottom line is some kids aren't cut out to be cardiac surgeons but could make a helluva plumber/electrician/tradesman who in turn becomes very successful regardless of parental socioeconomic status but, "No, not my child dammit, he's going Ivy league".

shell921
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by shell921 » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:06 pm

squirm wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 10:18 am
We send our kids to private. I attended both, I never had a good experience at public schools.
My friend teaches at public, he said most parents at his school don't care about their kids education... The parents don't go to open house, attend meetings or even have a one on one with him.

The schools our kids go to kick out the disruptive kids, they probably end up in the public schools.
Yes ! I can relate to this ! I am a retired public school teacher - public schools must take ALL !
Private schools can screen and dismiss !! But there are lots of variables and public schools have
better qualified teachers most of the time- not always. But as someone said above- the work ethic of the student
matters most.

ncbill
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Location: Western NC

Re: Regret Public School?

Post by ncbill » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:21 pm

ralph124cf wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 3:12 pm
When I lived in LA, both of my next door neighbors were public school teachers.

They sent their kids to a private school.

Ralph
Yep.

For me it was private school until high school, then public (most private schools stopped at 9th grade back then).

Public school was OK until my high school redistricted between my junior & senior year, pulling most from the poorest part of our city.

"Getting beat up for your lunch money" sounds quaint until it happens to your 17 & 18 year old friends.

I was more fortunate than most my senior year since I had saved up my allotment of advanced placement (AP) courses.

At the time those were a new offering so all AP classes were held at a central location, not individual high schools.

I only had one class first thing in the morning at my high school, then I left for rest of the day to the offsite location where AP classes were held.

So we chose private school for our kids, which was inexpensive with the spouse teaching there.

jodydavis
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by jodydavis » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:24 pm

Isabelle77 wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:21 pm
This debate always somewhat irritates me.

Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.

It is absolutely impossible to compare public and private schools and their value in general.
Another +1. The general debate (which is better, private or public) is completely useless, for the reasons Isabelle77 notes. But to the extent the OP is asking for and collecting specific responses to his/her question, my answer is no, no regrets. I went to a small elite private school (10% of my graduating class went to Harvard) as a scholarship student. My daughter just graduated from an excellent public school in a wealthy suburb and is attending an excellent college in the Fall. No regrets whatsoever. FWIW.

harrychan
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by harrychan » Sat Jul 28, 2018 4:52 pm

Isabelle77 wrote:
Sat Jul 28, 2018 12:21 pm
This debate always somewhat irritates me.

Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.

It is absolutely impossible to compare public and private schools and their value in general.
Exactly. In every state, you will find great and horrible public and private schools. Placing a blanket label on either based on feedback from an Internet (albeit similar minded) forum will do you no good. You are best to get connected with your neighbors within your community then look for recent alumnis and ask for their experience.
This is not legal or certified financial advice but you know that already.

Cruise
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by Cruise » Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:03 pm

OP: My wife and I come from backgrounds in which 3 of our four parents were dropouts and the fourth graduated from a trade high school. Our parents knew nothing about private schools or higher education. We have never gone to a single class in a private school. Somehow along the way, we managed to accumulate two BAs, three Masters degrees, and two Ph.Ds. Bottom line: We are FI.

Lesson: It is all about having a vision of success and the willingness to put in effort toward a goal. If your children learn that lesson and apply it, it does not matter what school they attend.

golfCaddy
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by golfCaddy » Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:24 pm

This debate always somewhat irritates me.

Every private school is different.
Every public school is different.
Every child is different.
Every family's ability to pay for private school and/or a highly rated public school neighborhood is different.

It is absolutely impossible to compare public and private schools and their value in general.
+1000

There's a wide range of both public and private schools. There are world class private schools: HADES and world class public schools: Stuyvesant, Thomas Jefferson HS for Science and Technology, and the Gatton Academy. On average, the privates might be slightly better, but that tells you next to nothing about whether any given private school is better than any given public school.

gold99xx
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Re: Regret Public School?

Post by gold99xx » Sat Jul 28, 2018 7:42 pm

I went to one of the BEST public schools in America, and here are my observations...

The real issue is HOW MUCH TIME can the parents spend with their kids reinforcing what was learned in school. How motivated and disciplined are the kids...

Show me a kid that will study and NOT watch TV and play on the iPhone all day and I'll show you an A student. I don't care WHAT the parents do.

Show me a kid with rich parents who phone in their parenting duty's and I'll show you a kid who hopefully has a good inheritance.

It is the Parents and the kid's willingness to study and be disciplined that make the MOST difference in schooling.

Stop looking for excuses.

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