Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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Geneyus
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Geneyus » Sun Jul 29, 2018 8:28 am

I bought a ring for a couple thousand dollars, and my wife wears one of those $5 silicone rings half the time now because she's always going to the gym or working outside. I also wear one because my line of work can be rough, and I workout afterwards.

If I did it all over again, I wouldn't have spend over $1000... probably a lot less. No one ever asks how much your wedding band costs, and they don't look at it very closely after the engagement.

dskelcy
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by dskelcy » Sun Jul 29, 2018 9:36 am

Check out this funny video on this exact topic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTneDwc9qX4

T4REngineer
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by T4REngineer » Sun Jul 29, 2018 9:50 am

OP posts 2.5 pages back he bought the ring......this forum

CONGRATS OP! - now come back and tell us what she says!

epilnk
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by epilnk » Sun Jul 29, 2018 3:40 pm

Darth Xanadu wrote:
Fri Jul 27, 2018 3:55 pm
One ring to rule them all.


https://www.tungstenfashions.com/lord-o ... 0b_MvldUXU
Do you really want your spouse wearing that? Personally, I'd be wary of the person who needed that ring ...

Broken Man 1999
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Broken Man 1999 » Sun Jul 29, 2018 5:20 pm

epilnk wrote:
Sun Jul 29, 2018 3:40 pm
Darth Xanadu wrote:
Fri Jul 27, 2018 3:55 pm
One ring to rule them all.


https://www.tungstenfashions.com/lord-o ... 0b_MvldUXU
Do you really want your spouse wearing that? Personally, I'd be wary of the person who needed that ring ...
One of our longtime family friends bought a similar ring for her nephew, who was really into the Tolkien works. Kid loved it.

No right or wrong answers on this subject, IMHO. Probably no ring would have that great an impact on quality of life or retirement investments.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven than I shall not go. " -Mark Twain

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C4NT
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by C4NT » Sun Jul 29, 2018 5:40 pm

Deleted.

OP already purchased ring.

wrongfunds
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by wrongfunds » Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:57 am

This topic will continue even after OP celebrates his 25th wedding anniversary! Well, we can all hope, can't we? :-)

kskih
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by kskih » Mon Jul 30, 2018 12:14 pm

Surely not every girls dream .. I much prefer $$ in the bank ....

patrocity
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by patrocity » Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:24 am

I'm bringing back this thread after reading it. I'm a lurker around here, but I figured I would throw in something that could help some others. James Allen currently has 25% off their ring settings (diamond or lab created diamond are full price). This is 11/18/19-11/24/19.

Caduceus
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Caduceus » Tue Nov 19, 2019 4:11 am

Wow, $7800 is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. Would she be happy with a simple gold band? Gold holds its value better than diamonds, real or fake. It has an ancient history, is naturally beautiful, and while not as good as stocks, does seem to hold its value over time.

A good friend of mine bought a diamond ring for I think $10,000 and the engagement fell apart. He's tried to sell the ring for $5,000 and no one is biting. I found it quite educational .... how worthless and overpriced diamond rings tend to be.

I don't think you'd have any trouble selling a gold band though.

deltaneutral83
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by deltaneutral83 » Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:53 am

Caduceus wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 4:11 am
Wow, $7800 is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. Would she be happy with a simple gold band? Gold holds its value better than diamonds, real or fake. It has an ancient history, is naturally beautiful, and while not as good as stocks, does seem to hold its value over time.

A good friend of mine bought a diamond ring for I think $10,000 and the engagement fell apart. He's tried to sell the ring for $5,000 and no one is biting. I found it quite educational .... how worthless and overpriced diamond rings tend to be.

I don't think you'd have any trouble selling a gold band though.
Diamonds have always had zero intrinsic value, same with gold. It's valuable because people say it is. People get really wrapped up in the cost but I don't really understand when someone spends less on a ring feeling terrific about it but has no problem buying a new car that also depreciates at least $5k the minute it's driven off the lot. Rings are (hopefully) a one time purchase. Most people will have at least 6 cars. The $7,800 tag you listed is a relative term. A teacher coming out getting married at 23 is different than a 32 year old in their second year as an attending physician. In that situation $7,800 isn't even a a biweekly check to the ladder.

Starfish
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Starfish » Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:45 pm

deltaneutral83 wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:53 am


Diamonds have always had zero intrinsic value, same with gold. It's valuable because people say it is. People get really wrapped up in the cost but I don't really understand when someone spends less on a ring feeling terrific about it but has no problem buying a new car that also depreciates at least $5k the minute it's driven off the lot. Rings are (hopefully) a one time purchase. Most people will have at least 6 cars. The $7,800 tag you listed is a relative term. A teacher coming out getting married at 23 is different than a 32 year old in their second year as an attending physician. In that situation $7,800 isn't even a a biweekly check to the ladder.

For me money have absolute value. For example I wouldn't burn 7800$ in a fire regardless of how much money I make. That physician is probably 500k in debt anyway, so 7800$ compounds with the student loans interest rate over a decade or so.
Besides I think there is value in a cheap engagement ring. It weeds out the wrong kind of partner and wrong kind of reason for engagement.
Last edited by Starfish on Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Starfish
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Starfish » Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:46 pm

Caduceus wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 4:11 am
Wow, $7800 is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. Would she be happy with a simple gold band? Gold holds its value better than diamonds, real or fake. It has an ancient history, is naturally beautiful, and while not as good as stocks, does seem to hold its value over time.

A good friend of mine bought a diamond ring for I think $10,000 and the engagement fell apart. He's tried to sell the ring for $5,000 and no one is biting. I found it quite educational .... how worthless and overpriced diamond rings tend to be.

I don't think you'd have any trouble selling a gold band though.

A gold band is 2-300$. Is holding value and reselling it a consideration at this price point?

deltaneutral83
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by deltaneutral83 » Tue Nov 19, 2019 1:44 pm

Starfish wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:45 pm
For me money have absolute value. For example I wouldn't burn 7800$ in a fire regardless of how much money I make. That physician is probably 500k in debt anyway, so 7800$ compounds with the student loans interest rate over a decade or so.
Besides I think there is value in a cheap engagement ring. It weeds out the wrong kind of partner and wrong kind of reason for engagement.
This analysis is 100% opinion based on anecdotal experiences, mine was addressing the mathematical side of things. Money in general is relative. To put a stake in the ground and say "spending X amount on a ring attracts the wrong kind of person" or that an early attending physician is "probably $500k in debt" is simply blanket opinions made off anecdotal experiences and bordering on a straw man as far as the last part. A 17 second google search returned that median medical school debt in 2018 was $197k with 25% having zero medical school debt.

zlandar
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by zlandar » Tue Nov 19, 2019 2:14 pm

I bought a 1.25 carat solitaire diamond ring from Blue Nile 17 years ago. I had to get a personal loan for the amount which I paid off after selling my home a year later.

I don't think you can go wrong with a classic style like a diamond solitaire. Still married. Good luck!

Maverick3320
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Maverick3320 » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:06 pm

deltaneutral83 wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:53 am
Caduceus wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 4:11 am
Wow, $7800 is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. Would she be happy with a simple gold band? Gold holds its value better than diamonds, real or fake. It has an ancient history, is naturally beautiful, and while not as good as stocks, does seem to hold its value over time.

A good friend of mine bought a diamond ring for I think $10,000 and the engagement fell apart. He's tried to sell the ring for $5,000 and no one is biting. I found it quite educational .... how worthless and overpriced diamond rings tend to be.

I don't think you'd have any trouble selling a gold band though.
Diamonds have always had zero intrinsic value, same with gold. It's valuable because people say it is. People get really wrapped up in the cost but I don't really understand when someone spends less on a ring feeling terrific about it but has no problem buying a new car that also depreciates at least $5k the minute it's driven off the lot. Rings are (hopefully) a one time purchase. Most people will have at least 6 cars. The $7,800 tag you listed is a relative term. A teacher coming out getting married at 23 is different than a 32 year old in their second year as an attending physician. In that situation $7,800 isn't even a a biweekly check to the ladder.
A car generally gets used daily for transportation purposes.

A wedding ring sits on your finger.

squirm
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by squirm » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:14 pm

My wife and I shopped for her ring together. It was nice picking it out that way. She wanted to make sure I liked it too.

WhiteMaxima
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by WhiteMaxima » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:20 pm

Setup a budget, don't exceed it. Shop at Costco.com and select your ring.

stoptothink
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by stoptothink » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:39 pm

Maverick3320 wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:06 pm
deltaneutral83 wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:53 am
Caduceus wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 4:11 am
Wow, $7800 is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. Would she be happy with a simple gold band? Gold holds its value better than diamonds, real or fake. It has an ancient history, is naturally beautiful, and while not as good as stocks, does seem to hold its value over time.

A good friend of mine bought a diamond ring for I think $10,000 and the engagement fell apart. He's tried to sell the ring for $5,000 and no one is biting. I found it quite educational .... how worthless and overpriced diamond rings tend to be.

I don't think you'd have any trouble selling a gold band though.
Diamonds have always had zero intrinsic value, same with gold. It's valuable because people say it is. People get really wrapped up in the cost but I don't really understand when someone spends less on a ring feeling terrific about it but has no problem buying a new car that also depreciates at least $5k the minute it's driven off the lot. Rings are (hopefully) a one time purchase. Most people will have at least 6 cars. The $7,800 tag you listed is a relative term. A teacher coming out getting married at 23 is different than a 32 year old in their second year as an attending physician. In that situation $7,800 isn't even a a biweekly check to the ladder.
A car generally gets used daily for transportation purposes.

A wedding ring sits on your finger.
...or doesn't. I'd bet the percentage of married women who wear their expensive engagement rings daily is far less than half. Having been married twice, once with a $7k+ ring and the other <$500 one, I am batting .000 on getting the wives to wear what I spent a large sum on more than once a week (at most); the $3 silicone ones have gotten plenty of use though.

There is no way to rationally justify spending a large amount on an engagement/wedding ring, but some people feel that logic has nothing to do with this topic (I'm not one of those people).

dekecarver
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by dekecarver » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:40 pm

Don't get caught up in the hype. A ring does not prove love, trust, commitment, loyalty, or any other figment of the imagination, it is simply an object of good faith and good faith does not have to be expensive. If it has to be expensive, it's gonna be an expensive ride.

RJC
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by RJC » Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:41 pm

Get the bigger ring now so you won't have to upgrade later.

Starfish
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by Starfish » Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:09 pm

deltaneutral83 wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 1:44 pm
Starfish wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:45 pm
For me money have absolute value. For example I wouldn't burn 7800$ in a fire regardless of how much money I make. That physician is probably 500k in debt anyway, so 7800$ compounds with the student loans interest rate over a decade or so.
Besides I think there is value in a cheap engagement ring. It weeds out the wrong kind of partner and wrong kind of reason for engagement.
This analysis is 100% opinion
Exactly! As if that wasn't clear enough, I even started with "For me" :D
based on anecdotal experiences, mine was addressing the mathematical side of things.
Not really.
A 17 second google search returned that median medical school debt in 2018 was $197k with 25% having zero medical school debt.
There is no difference in conclusion between 500k and 197k. The engagement ring value is the last money the doctor will pay from that loan. If the loan takes 10 years to be paid off the amount of 7800$ is taken as a loan with that interest rate.
If the doctor has a mortgage or he will have at some point, the 7800$ is part of the mortgage and it will be paid after 30 years at the mortgage interest rate.
Doctors make good cash flow but a lot of them start late in age and behind in terms of debt.
This is the math.

andypanda
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by andypanda » Tue Nov 19, 2019 9:59 pm

My wife is lovely. I love her. We love her rings. I'm happy, she's happy. People comment on her rings every week. We got married this past November just after my 69th birthday. She's only 65 and looks a lot younger. We knew each other very casually through work as far back as 1991 and started dating 5 years ago after I'd retired. Just one of those stories about people who run into each other and start talking.

Do I miss that $25000 I spent on a Whiteflash diamond and platinum setting along with a couple of platinum wedding bands? Nope. There's more where that came from. I haven't had a car payment since 1986 or a mortgage since 1997. I was going to buy a second boat last year, but decided that taking care of one boat was enough.

Work hard, invest as much as you can and enjoy some of your money. You earned it. He who dies with the most money in the bank... is still dead. But I'm sure your heirs will be happy to spend it for you.

:sharebeer

MotoTrojan
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by MotoTrojan » Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:06 pm

I spent $20K but have a very frugal partner who saves me at least that much annually. She loves it. I’m sure some wives spend that much on shoes and clothes over a 5 year span while she prefers Old Navy. I’m a young accumulator and that’s about half my annual savings.

I don’t regret it but I’m sure she’d love a $7800 ring too.

ARoseByAnyOtherName
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by ARoseByAnyOtherName » Tue Nov 19, 2019 11:08 pm

We really need to hear from OP how things are going. They could have a kid by now!

jimmo
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by jimmo » Tue Nov 19, 2019 11:32 pm

I'm surprised in this day and age that the diamond engagement ring industry is still going strong. What a hoot.

Yes, I bought one for my wife awhile back, and I could play along and say it was a great purchase and a rounding error on current NW, but let's be honest here a minute. It's a ridiculous tradition that the diamond industry manages to keep alive and healthy despite common sense and readily available information. I actually thought the movie "Blood Diamond" would put a dent in sales, and make people think twice, at least in the short-term. No, that $10K rock on your wife's finger was probably not sourced ethically regardless of what they told you, nor did the $10K price tag have any relationship to actual value. Try to sell it and see that it's worth maybe 10% of what you bought it for. It's all rather silly.

The diamond industry relies on tradition and heavy marketing. Believe it or not, you don't need a diamond ring to propose to your girlfriend.

andypanda
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by andypanda » Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:13 am

I can't believe that in this day and age there are still people who can't understand that everyone doesn't think like they do. :mrgreen:

deltaneutral83
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by deltaneutral83 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:21 am

andypanda wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:13 am
I can't believe that in this day and age there are still people who can't understand that everyone doesn't think like they do. :mrgreen:
Bingo. Bottom line, outside of median necessities, stuff is stuff. If you can pay for it, it doesn't really matter in the end. It's math, not emotions that are important in the end but if you can't control your emotions, then the math doesn't matter in the first place. But I do enjoy the strings that get pulled when the monthly diamond/new car/new house/new boat debate(s) gets cranking. The inconsistencies people show in their judgement about "stuff" is wildly entertaining (I liked Jason Zweig's Your Money Your Brain).

catlady
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by catlady » Wed Nov 20, 2019 9:54 am

Starfish wrote:
Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:45 pm
Besides I think there is value in a cheap engagement ring. It weeds out the wrong kind of partner and wrong kind of reason for engagement.
Counter point - I didn’t care at all about the wedding, am the one who has taken the reigns on our finances, and now bring in over half of our household income. I wanted (and got) a specific 5 figure engagement ring because I knew it was something I’d have on my finger continuously for the next 70 or so years. I would have been happy with a different ring but I also would have been slightly disappointed and would have remembered I wanted something else each time I looked at it. We’ve been happily married over 10 years and I still love my ring.

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MortgageOnBlack
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Re: Toughest Purchase of my Life. Engagement Ring time

Post by MortgageOnBlack » Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:54 pm

Being that it has been over a year since I originally purchased the ring, the blow I originally felt has softened substantially. We set a date for next summer 2020. This has given us 2 years to save money for a very reasonable wedding. She absolutely loves her ring and I catch her looking at it all the time :D In fact, I'm very proud I went to my absolute max for the ring. I'm very glad we didn't rush into a wedding with credit and I discovered we were on the same page on a lot of things (sometimes you don't know until you take the plunge :wink: ). To be honest, I think I could have "gotten away" with spending a lot less, but this makes me more grateful that I did spend a little more than I would have liked at the time - She is absolutely worth it! :D

Thanks for all the feedback, but I'm really glad I went with my gut on this one.

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