gray hair

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legio XX
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Re: gray hair

Post by legio XX » Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:37 am

A competent stylist/colorist makes all the difference in the world. When my long-term stylist retired it took me a couple of years to find another and no way I could afford to keep up the color. Don't really miss it.

Good coloring is subtle - most people never noticed I wasn't natural because a reasonable amount of grey was left showing - except when I marked the 60th with electric blue stripes - and the colored sections kept shifting so the growout didn't show to most people. Get referrals, be prepared to try different stylists, until you get what you like. Be prepared to change your mind a few times along the way. Stylists kept asking me for pictures that I didn't have so maybe find a picture of someone of the right age whose hair color looks good to you? FWIW, my original and my current never asked for a picture.

If you don't want to put out the time and money for good coloring, don't bother.

rob65
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Re: gray hair

Post by rob65 » Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:44 am

Started going gray in my early 20’s. At 52, almost totally gray and moving towards silver. Never bothered me. Never considered changing it.

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jabberwockOG
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Re: gray hair

Post by jabberwockOG » Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:52 am

Didymograptus wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:28 am
I'm 58 and have been going grey all through my fifties - about 50% grey now.

I really don't care much about it - and anyway my wife says it makes me look extinguished!
Hilarious - great post.

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cheese_breath
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Re: gray hair

Post by cheese_breath » Wed Jun 20, 2018 7:58 am

Not to turn this into a medical post. But vitamins are classified as food, not medicine. So I guess it's OK.

When I was in my mid 30s I had one patch of gray coming out on the right side near my neck. About the same time I started taking 400 IU vitamin E for a different reason. But after awhile I noticed the gray patch was gone. I kept taking the vitamin E (still do in fact), and it took a lot longer for me to go gray than my age peers. I'm 77 and there's a lot of gray now, but IMO the vitamin E certainly postponed the day of reckoning..
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.

winterfan
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Re: gray hair

Post by winterfan » Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:27 am

My husband's family doesn't get gray hair ever. There is a bit in any facial hair, but that's it. I'm 46, and have a few grays. I get my hair highlighted 5 times a year. Going to a stylist is the best thing I've done for my hair and confidence. It wasn't until I was 44 that I had a decent haircut. I look at pictures of me in my 30s and I look frumpy.

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telemark
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Re: gray hair

Post by telemark » Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:42 am

I've never tried coloring, but if I did I would go for something in pink or maybe a tasteful shade of green. I want people laughing for the right reasons.

Alf 101
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Re: gray hair

Post by Alf 101 » Wed Jun 20, 2018 8:59 am

Interestingly, I started going gray around age 20. My hair was light enough at the time, it seemed to blend in -- that or I didn't really notice it much. By my mid-20s I was fully gray. That was OK too. I told people I was going to get a fake ID that said I was 65, so I could cash in on the great senior discounts, but other than that, it was no big deal. Of course now, I'm growing into the hair color, so it looks like less of a novelty, but it's been too long to care now.

Ultimately, at least as regards the circles I move in, it matters very little either way. In some cases, hypothetically, there could be a professional advantage to looking younger. But whatever makes you happy is the way to go. When I retire, many years in the future, I may shave my head and give myself a mohawk, just to walk around for a couple of days and see what it's like. Or not.

If you do dye your hair, I'd echo those who say to go to a hair professional. There's some art and science in making it look natural.

Yiewsley
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Re: gray hair

Post by Yiewsley » Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:14 am

If you were stranded alone on a desert island with a mirror and a case of Just for Men, would you dye your hair?

I'm a woman in my late 50s and I haven't dyed my hair for years. I'm pretty much the only one of my friends who doesn't. Not one thing in my life changed after I stopped coloring my hair.

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dm200
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Re: gray hair

Post by dm200 » Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:19 am

One thing I notice that has changed in recent years [do not know why] is that many older women tended to have "blue" hair - but have not noticed that in a few years.

Rupert
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Re: gray hair

Post by Rupert » Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:25 am

dm200 wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:19 am
One thing I notice that has changed in recent years [do not know why] is that many older women tended to have "blue" hair - but have not noticed that in a few years.
That blue hair was a result of a blue rinse, which has fallen out of fashion. It was popular with women who were members of the Greatest Generation.

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friar1610
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Re: gray hair

Post by friar1610 » Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:05 am

In my early 70's and hair very white. My wife is really sick of hearing me tell people that I dye it that color so I will look my age. :?
Friar1610

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LadyGeek
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Re: gray hair

Post by LadyGeek » Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:41 pm

I removed an off-topic comment and a few replies which were interpreted as sexist (Page 2 of this thread). As a reminder, see: General Etiquette
avoid profanities, obscenities, lewd and otherwise offensive words and remarks
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BogleFanGal
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Re: gray hair

Post by BogleFanGal » Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:05 pm

People who dye their hair are not really fooling anybody. I don't know what I was thinking all those years. It's like wearing a toupee. There's a lot to be said for being who you are.

I have never understood this double standard - if a woman is going bald or is bald and wears a hairpiece or wig, no one judges her for that. But if a man is bald and doesn't feel he looks good that way (some men look great bald...others really don't), he's judged and laughed at for seeking out a similar solution.

Some people aren't trying to "fool" anyone. They just like how they look better with hair or with dark vs gray hair. It's sad how many people are critical of that.

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Sandtrap
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Re: gray hair

Post by Sandtrap » Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:24 pm

RudyS wrote:
Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:57 pm
Ron wrote:
Tue Jun 19, 2018 1:27 pm
I earned my grey/white hair by a lifetime of experiences (I'm 70 :mrgreen: ); I'm not giving up a current look that took me a lifetime to achieve :beer ...

- Ron
same, but 82 YO.
Don't forget the slight hunch, tilt of the head like an M.D. in deep thought, soft gaze over lowered spectacles, and subtle nod of wisdom. :D

Rupert
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Re: gray hair

Post by Rupert » Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:45 am

BogleFanGal wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:05 pm
People who dye their hair are not really fooling anybody. I don't know what I was thinking all those years. It's like wearing a toupee. There's a lot to be said for being who you are.

I have never understood this double standard - if a woman is going bald or is bald and wears a hairpiece or wig, no one judges her for that. But if a man is bald and doesn't feel he looks good that way (some men look great bald...others really don't), he's judged and laughed at for seeking out a similar solution.

Some people aren't trying to "fool" anyone. They just like how they look better with hair or with dark vs gray hair. It's sad how many people are critical of that.
Yes, it is a double standard, but I understand it. Their whole lives girls and women are expected to treat their hair as a fashion accessory by coloring it, decorating it, etc. It starts when people stick those ridiculous bows in the hair of infant girls. They stick bows to girls' heads even before they have hair. Boys and men are generally free of this burden. So when men decide, at mid-life, to suddenly start coloring their hair, they are engaging in a behavior that is, rightly or wrongly, in our culture associated with being female. They are violating a cultural norm. So it seems weird and people notice it, comment on it, criticize it, etc. This is starting to change a bit as younger men seem freer today than in the past to color their hair.

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VictoriaF
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Re: gray hair

Post by VictoriaF » Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:00 pm

Rupert wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:45 am
BogleFanGal wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:05 pm
People who dye their hair are not really fooling anybody. I don't know what I was thinking all those years. It's like wearing a toupee. There's a lot to be said for being who you are.

I have never understood this double standard - if a woman is going bald or is bald and wears a hairpiece or wig, no one judges her for that. But if a man is bald and doesn't feel he looks good that way (some men look great bald...others really don't), he's judged and laughed at for seeking out a similar solution.

Some people aren't trying to "fool" anyone. They just like how they look better with hair or with dark vs gray hair. It's sad how many people are critical of that.
Yes, it is a double standard, but I understand it. Their whole lives girls and women are expected to treat their hair as a fashion accessory by coloring it, decorating it, etc. It starts when people stick those ridiculous bows in the hair of infant girls. They stick bows to girls' heads even before they have hair. Boys and men are generally free of this burden. So when men decide, at mid-life, to suddenly start coloring their hair, they are engaging in a behavior that is, rightly or wrongly, in our culture associated with being female. They are violating a cultural norm. So it seems weird and people notice it, comment on it, criticize it, etc. This is starting to change a bit as younger men seem freer today than in the past to color their hair.
They stick bows into boys' necks in the form of bow-ties but men successfully resist them when left to their own devices.

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

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Kalo
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Re: gray hair

Post by Kalo » Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:34 pm

I realized my grey hair really shows when I am in my car with the sun roof open. So of course I leave it closed now. Just kidding. It is funny though that fashion comes and goes. Men wore wigs (even powdered white) and long beards in bygone times. Same with ear rings. Wide ties, or narrow. Suits or business casual. And all of it is purely the preference of individuals and the collective in which they live. But none of it can be objectively validated. It's all a value judgement based on culture and personal preference.

My hair is going grey and thinning. I won't do anything about it other than keeping it very short. I'm too lazy to fuss with anything time consuming.

I find myself less judgemental of others' choices as I age. Although I still think a facefull of hardware and/or tattoos looks really shocking, and I feel sad for the people who go that route because I think they are probably unhappy with the way they look.

Life is a funny winding road, and there are many serious things people go through, including how they appear to others or think they do.

Don't worry, be happy.

Kalo
"When people say they have a high risk tolerance, what they really mean is that they are willing to make a lot of money." -- Ben Stein/Phil DeMuth - The Little Book of Bullet Proof Investing.

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VictoriaF
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Re: gray hair

Post by VictoriaF » Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:38 pm

Kalo wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:34 pm
Men wore wigs (even powdered white) and long beards in bygone times.
And corsets. No wonder Benjamin Franklin liked to take "air baths."

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

2015
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Re: gray hair

Post by 2015 » Thu Jun 21, 2018 7:03 pm

Kalo wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:34 pm
...

Life is a funny winding road, and there are many serious things people go through, including how they appear to others or think they do.

...
Yes, a long, strange journey, and if you're lucky, it all comes together. I love Steve Jobs' discussion on how you can only connect all the dots looking backward.

One of the great gifts of getting older is you get to leave all of these things behind. If you're lucky, you find a much more expansive way of living awaiting than one based on mere conditioning from culture, biology, and psychology. In this regard, the cliche is so simple that the point is almost guaranteed to be missed: if you want something different than average you must do something different than average. As Charlie Munger would say, "How could it be otherwise?"

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Rob5TCP
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Re: gray hair

Post by Rob5TCP » Fri Jun 22, 2018 7:29 am

Had no grey until about 8 years ago. About 4 years ago it got quite noticeable (56 then).
Started using just for men. No one has said anything except one close friend who saw me the
night before I used it and then next day (the first time).

I wear my hair moderately long and only use the product every couple of months.

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Toons
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Re: gray hair

Post by Toons » Fri Jun 22, 2018 7:47 am

Gray hair....
Sign of being able to live life,,
Embrace it...

:happy
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee

ENT Doc
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Re: gray hair

Post by ENT Doc » Fri Jun 22, 2018 9:53 am

We all gray eventually. Just embrace it. If you start dying it now are you really going to be doing it at 70? And if not then when do you stop and why?

HongKonger
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Re: gray hair

Post by HongKonger » Fri Jun 22, 2018 11:52 am

BogleFanGal wrote:
Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:05 pm
People who dye their hair are not really fooling anybody. I don't know what I was thinking all those years. It's like wearing a toupee. There's a lot to be said for being who you are.

I have never understood this double standard - if a woman is going bald or is bald and wears a hairpiece or wig, no one judges her for that. But if a man is bald and doesn't feel he looks good that way (some men look great bald...others really don't), he's judged and laughed at for seeking out a similar solution.

Some people aren't trying to "fool" anyone. They just like how they look better with hair or with dark vs gray hair. It's sad how many people are critical of that.
I had all my hair drop out in my early 30s due to trauma - interestingly the response from other females was ''you're so brave, I would never leave the house looking like that", or "Is it breast cancer" whereas most men (and I do mean about 70% of complete strangers) wanted to stroke my head and said it was wonderful. ...wearing a wig in the tropics was not happening for me so I just wore my bald head with pride. Whatever a person chooses to do is fine as long as they own it - if you really rock it, no one can knock it.

bradshaw1965
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Re: gray hair

Post by bradshaw1965 » Fri Jun 22, 2018 12:39 pm

I'm completely fine with my gray hair but I work in tech and have not taken coloring it completely off the table if I thought it might help in a field with rampant ageism.

international001
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Re: gray hair

Post by international001 » Fri Jun 22, 2018 12:53 pm

USe Grecian. Does not dye

tnr
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Re: gray hair

Post by tnr » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:27 am

I had to look for a new job in the tech area when I was 56. I decided to cut my hair shorter and color it to get rid of the grey. I also updated my glasses style. Where I work now, the overwhelming number of people are in their 20’s and 30’s. I like coloring my hair. Many of the woman regularly color their hair just for variety. I doubt that anyone is making fun of me or think I am vain because I color.

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BogleFanGal
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Re: gray hair

Post by BogleFanGal » Sat Jun 23, 2018 11:20 am

Whatever a person chooses to do is fine as long as they own it - if you really rock it, no one can knock it.

Love that. :beer

skatterZ
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Re: gray hair

Post by skatterZ » Sat Jun 23, 2018 10:03 pm

When i started going grey in my 40's, i thought about dying it, but heard two women talking in the elevator. "I just hate it when I am close to Ray, you can smell his Just for Men" I decided then that I didn't care what color it turned as long as it didn't turn loose.
Unfortunately, it is now "turning loose".

ResearchMed
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Re: gray hair

Post by ResearchMed » Sat Jun 23, 2018 10:14 pm

DH has the most remarkable full head of silvery hair...
... and he finally really enjoys it.

I would love to have hair like his, but apparently that is not to be :(

RM
This signature is a placebo. You are in the control group.

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mister_sparkle
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Re: gray hair

Post by mister_sparkle » Sat Jun 23, 2018 11:44 pm

I'm about 60% gray now at age 52 and have resigned myself to this. I see way too many older dudes (especially those in the media) coloring their hair when it obviously doesn't 'match' their overall appearance, and I think it's just a bad look. Maybe if they mixed in some gray with their former color it wouldn't look so bad, but to see someone who's probably 63 with totally brown hair and eyebrows and wrinkled skin just looks lame to me.

international001
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Re: gray hair

Post by international001 » Mon Jun 25, 2018 3:32 pm

Yeah.. It's like some old women full of wrinkles with perfect breast implants. The value it's when you look at the overall package. Just like a BH portfolio, look at the total risk adjusted return. Not at the performance of some particular asset. The difference, I guess, is that in this case it's better to have correlated assets

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