Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
dknightd
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by dknightd » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:21 pm

praxis wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:44 pm
“What I’d like is a cold beer, but it’s against my religion.”
Strange religion. You can be moral, and drink a cold beer. Just don't go into debt to buy that beer ;)

dknightd
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by dknightd » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:28 pm

DWesterb2iz2 wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 2:10 pm
...
She had no idea.

She was absolutely livid. "What do I need the money for now??? I'm 86 years old!! We could have had a house!! We could have had a garden!! WE COULD HAVE HELPED THE KIDS!!!!"

I thought she was going to dig him up and beat him. Make what you will of all that.
It is shame she had no idea. Partners should talk about these things.

IMO better to leave a pleasant surprise for your deceased spouse, than an unpleasant one. Better yet is for both of them to know the situation before one dies. My opinion YMMV

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Blueskies123
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by Blueskies123 » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:34 pm

Anyone living through the great depression, (no not the great recession) lived in terror of being old and poor. I doubt most people dying today have regrets about being frugal since many of them remember glimpses of the depression. Maybe in 20 years things will be different.
Once exception might be that many people regret not traveling more when they were younger.

bac
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by bac » Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:43 pm

Blueskies123 wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:34 pm
Anyone living through the great depression, (no not the great recession) lived in terror of being old and poor. I doubt most people dying today have regrets about being frugal since many of them remember glimpses of the depression. Maybe in 20 years things will be different.
Once exception might be that many people regret not traveling more when they were younger.
My parents lived through the Depression, and so frugality was baked into my family. In her last years, my mother preached to me to be better to myself, but it's a lesson I'm still trying to put into practice, nearly 20 years after her death.

wrongfunds
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by wrongfunds » Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:31 am

(Similar to how Warren Buffet hasn't sized up his house as his wealth has grown)...
Who would be the first gentle soul to clear this misconception?

jambadoc
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by jambadoc » Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:24 am

dknightd wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:21 pm
praxis wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:44 pm
“What I’d like is a cold beer, but it’s against my religion.”
Strange religion. You can be moral, and drink a cold beer. Just don't go into debt to buy that beer ;)
It would (probably) be against your religion if you were dying of liver cancer and didn't want to become markedly altered because your dying liver can't process the alcohol.

Wonderfully written though.

jehovasfitness
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by jehovasfitness » Tue Apr 10, 2018 12:38 pm

dknightd wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:21 pm
praxis wrote:
Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:44 pm
“What I’d like is a cold beer, but it’s against my religion.”
Strange religion. You can be moral, and drink a cold beer. Just don't go into debt to buy that beer ;)
all religion is strange if we wanna go that route

Tamalak
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by Tamalak » Tue Apr 10, 2018 12:46 pm

If at some point I end up on a deathbed my only regret will be that I'm dying.

/r/longevity

James1
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by James1 » Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:26 pm

My extremely frugal father had cancer in his 50s. He survived and is doing great, but his regret during that time was not having more family time or vacations. My parents now work part time (they enjoy their work and never plan to stop working) so they can travel together and with friends. They also pay for all the kids and grandkids to go on several family vacations every year. Having this vacation and family time is invaluable, but he never would have spent money on it before.

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Taylor Larimore
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"Abou Ben Adhem"

Post by Taylor Larimore » Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:52 pm

Bogleheads:

One of my favorite poems:

ABOU BEN ADHEM by Leigh Hunt

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold.


Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold;
And to the presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?" The vision raised its head,
And, with a look made of all sweet accord,
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."


"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerly still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one that loves his fellow-men."


The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again, with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed;
And, lo! Ben Adhem 's name led all the rest.


Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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bligh
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by bligh » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:31 pm

TheDDC wrote:
Tue Apr 10, 2018 12:34 pm

Whose responsibility is it to take care of your kids? Someone else's at top dollar or their own flesh and blood? So previous generations must have had it all wrong then?

I'm definitely not talking about "frivolous hobbies" and bored housewives. I'm talking about a spouse staying home and taking care of kids during the formative years when they need family around and not strangers. I know that I would regret having abandoned them during those years. There is always more time to earn money for college later in life. Not so much the case for parenting when they are learning the ways of life. Learning starts way before 5 years of age, and I'd reckon you learned plenty before that age.

-TheDDC
To Each his own. The way my wife and I saw it was, having kids only to pay others to bring them up when they are little, is like buying a Lamborghini and paying someone else to drive it around for you when its new... and more expensive.

It is obviously different if you are compelled into such a situation for reasons out of your control.

NotWhoYouThink
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by NotWhoYouThink » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:34 pm

Wow. Mommy wars on bogleheads. Never thought I'd see the day.

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LadyGeek
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Re: Regrets of the frugal and dying?

Post by LadyGeek » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:43 pm

A number of off-topic posts have been removed. This thread has run its course and is locked (derailed).
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.

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