Choosing which room to sleep in

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2m2037
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Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by 2m2037 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm

My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:

PoppyA
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by PoppyA » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:30 pm

I just recently told my hubby if I had it to do over, I would make the bedroom much smaller. Just big enough to sleep in.

We have all kinds of storage in our master bedroom including book shelves, lounge chair, ottoman, tv, antique child’s desk. Blah. Who needs it. We never sit in the chair, never change the books out.
"La Bella Luna"

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dm200
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by dm200 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:32 pm

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.
Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.
Can anyone help? :oops:
Just do what your wife decides. If you don't, then you may be sleeping in the other bedroom anyway.

Dottie57
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Dottie57 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:37 pm

Your wife may have a picture in her head of a beautiful HGTV bedroom - a fantasy.

What does the big bedroom have? A deck? Nice scenery? A big closet? Room for a desk, love seat?

Ask your wife why she hates the idea.

-----------

I have a friend who has a beautiful bedroom, spacious, sunny and a nice place to hang out in. Her husband wants to convert it into a library (his books of course) and have the bedroom in a snall, dark, cramped room. The room will never be converted unless she dies first.

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Sandtrap
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Sandtrap » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:38 pm

Where does the light shine in the morning or evening?
Which room heats up too much in the summertime?
Which room is cold all the time?
Which room has better views?
Which room is quieter from the street or other noise?
Which room is more relaxing to be in? (feng shui)
Which room's bathroom is nicer for DW?
Which room has a better walk in closet for DW?
Which room does DW like better for a bedroom?
Try sleeping in both. Pick one.
like this.
j :D

theplayer11
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by theplayer11 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm

I never understood the need for a large bedroom. We sleep there, get up and never step foot in there until the next night.

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dm200
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by dm200 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm

I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )

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5th_Dimension
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by 5th_Dimension » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:53 pm

We recently switched our bedroom from the larger room with the attached bath to a smaller room with adjacent bath. Turned the larger room into an office/home theater. So far it has worked out well. As you said, who needs more room when you are sleeping!
"My idea of rich is ordering the most expensive thing at Denny's"

123
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by 123 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:01 pm

I agree you'll sleep (and whatever) better if your bedroom has no distractions. So likely the smaller room is the better bedroom.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

DrGoogle2017
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by DrGoogle2017 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:20 pm

I would be aghast too. I like large bedroom. I guess the other room, you will use it less often. I like a non clutter room. That’s exactly my master bedroom. No equipment of any sort and no TV. Husband and I might bump into it on our way to restroom at night when we are half asleep. Who needs more accident in old age. Maybe it’s cultural, we’ve been conditioned to sleep in the master bedroom, the largest bedroom.

mega317
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by mega317 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:25 pm

Do you have children? One day you will think back to this thread and how hilarious your old problems were.

momvesting
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by momvesting » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:30 pm

Maybe it isn’t about the bedroom size. If it were me, I’d want whichever room has the biggest closet. My next consideration would be how much storage is in the bathroom. If both of those things were equal I would choose the one with the least noise and the least morning light from outside.

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Epsilon Delta
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Epsilon Delta » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:35 pm

We used the smaller room and the bigger room was the closet.

ved
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by ved » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:51 pm

theplayer11 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm
I never understood the need for a large bedroom. We sleep there, get up and never step foot in there until the next night.
Technically, once you get up, you will step into the room that night to sleep, not the next night.
(unless of course, you sleep once every 2 days/nights :-)

sailaway
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by sailaway » Wed Jan 31, 2018 8:55 pm

I did this is in my condo and we did it again in the next apartment.

I did not do it in my first two bedroom because the master opened onto the balcony. We do not do it currently because the master has more room for clothes.

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Taylor Larimore
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Compromise or Give-In ?

Post by Taylor Larimore » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:06 pm

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:
2m2037:

Perhaps I can help.

My wife died on May 23, 2013, after 62 years of marriage. During that time we usually compromised on decisions of this sort--often leaving us both unsatisfied.

Now, with my new love, I told her to make any changes she wants. Some were a bit costly, but our apartment is the way she wants it and she thinks I'm an angel for letting her have her way. I can live with that. :happy

Live and learn.

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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Pajamas
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Pajamas » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:18 pm

Sounds like it's more important to your wife than it is to you. . . .

Just offer to help her decorate your large bedroom.

stan1
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by stan1 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:22 pm

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.
Let her think about it for a bit. Sometimes unconventional ideas need a little time to percolate. Check in with her in 2 weeks. Then let it rest.

RudyS
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by RudyS » Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:47 pm

Sandtrap wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:38 pm
Where does the light shine in the morning or evening?
Which room heats up too much in the summertime?
Which room is cold all the time?

Which room has better views?
Which room is quieter from the street or other noise?
Which room is more relaxing to be in? (feng shui)
Which room's bathroom is nicer for DW?
Which room has a better walk in closet for DW?
Which room does DW like better for a bedroom?
Try sleeping in both. Pick one.
like this.
j :D
Those criteria I have marked in red are what my wife (of 56 years) would use. And that's what would happen. Happy wife, happy life.

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celia
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by celia » Wed Jan 31, 2018 10:29 pm

I would likely put the bedroom in the room that is quieter at night. This would not be towards the street or a shared wall with neighbors, if possible. I have read, and agree, that having exercise equipment, TV, or electronics in the bedroom distract from the two primary uses of a bedroom. Put these things in the other room.

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Sandtrap
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Sandtrap » Wed Jan 31, 2018 10:59 pm

RudyS wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:47 pm
Sandtrap wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:38 pm
Where does the light shine in the morning or evening?
Which room heats up too much in the summertime?
Which room is cold all the time?

Which room has better views?
Which room is quieter from the street or other noise?
Which room is more relaxing to be in? (feng shui)
Which room's bathroom is nicer for DW?
Which room has a better walk in closet for DW?
Which room does DW like better for a bedroom?
Try sleeping in both. Pick one.
like this.
j :D
Those criteria I have marked in red are what my wife (of 56 years) would use. And that's what would happen. Happy wife, happy life.
+1
The day the realtor showed us our 7 bedroom home, DW knew exactly what each room was for. That was about it.
Above my "pay grade".
j :D

Finridge
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Finridge » Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:58 pm

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:
Personally, I think that's a great idea. But I assume there is a living room--I'd put the couch and TV there, and use the larger room as gym/office. I've found that having gym equipment around my office lets me get workouts while also getting work done. It's nice to be able to alternate between doing work and working out.

HOWEVER, I strongly recommend going with what your wife wants. You suggested it to her. She didn't like it. So let her set it up the way she wants--you'll be happier that way. :-)

2m2037
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by 2m2037 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:16 am

I read each and every single reply. It sounds like my wife makes the final call on this. I'll casually bring it up again on our move-in day and see what she says.

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rosylenm
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by rosylenm » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:
People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:

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dm200
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by dm200 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 5:43 pm

stan1 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:22 pm
2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.
Let her think about it for a bit. Sometimes unconventional ideas need a little time to percolate. Check in with her in 2 weeks. Then let it rest.
Yes .. Maybe she will think it was HER idea. :)

bloom2708
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by bloom2708 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 5:54 pm

theplayer11 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm
I never understood the need for a large bedroom. We sleep there, get up and never step foot in there until the next night.
+1

Our master bedroom is way too big. The most under utilized space in the whole house. If I could redesign I would use 50% of the space for something else.
Where to spend your time: | 1. You completely control <--spend your time here! | 2. You partially control <--spend very little time here! | 3. You have no control <--spend no time here

Hockey10
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Hockey10 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:34 pm

Sandtrap wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:38 pm

Which room is quieter from the street or other noise?
I have lived in 4 houses where the master bedroom is in the front, and thus subject to noise from the street. Our current house has the master bedroom in the back, and there is virtually no noise. As I am a light sleeper, having a quiet bedroom is paramount.

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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Doom&Gloom » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:44 pm

bloom2708 wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 5:54 pm
theplayer11 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm
I never understood the need for a large bedroom. We sleep there, get up and never step foot in there until the next night.
+1

Our master bedroom is way too big. The most under utilized space in the whole house. If I could redesign I would use 50% of the space for something else.
Just goes to show "different strokes for different folks." We spend a lot of time in our large bedroom. Loveseat, PC, Chromebook, plasma TV with surround system with floorstanding speakers and a subwoofer (and Roku and Logitech Squeezebox). Our larger TV and better audio setup in the living room seldom gets used.

As for the OP's situation: I am unable to offer any advice as at every place I ever lived, it was immediately obvious which room would be the "master" bedroom.

mouses
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by mouses » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:22 pm

rosylenm wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:
And every time I see that patronizing sexism, I have to remind myself that grinding teeth results in dental bills.

finite_difference
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by finite_difference » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:40 pm

mouses wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:22 pm
rosylenm wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:
And every time I see that patronizing sexism, I have to remind myself that grinding teeth results in dental bills.
Yes, it should be “happy family, happy life”. In response to someone who is being controlling, thoughtless, neurotic, etc. (Guilty as charged.)

I do think it’s fair to say if your family is happy, that you tend to be happier yourself.
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh

randomguy
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by randomguy » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:08 pm

finite_difference wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:40 pm
mouses wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:22 pm
rosylenm wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:
And every time I see that patronizing sexism, I have to remind myself that grinding teeth results in dental bills.
Yes, it should be “happy family, happy life”. In response to someone who is being controlling, thoughtless, neurotic, etc. (Guilty as charged.)

I do think it’s fair to say if your family is happy, that you tend to be happier yourself.

Nope. Having a happy wife (or family) might be necessary to be happy but it alone isn't sufficient for a happy life. If I write
"My wife is super happy but I am miserable because I am working 80 hours/week and commuting 3 hours per day to keep her in the lifestyle she wants where she wants" would anyone be spouting off the "Happy wife, happy life" line? It works only because you assume all the decisions like this that the wife is making are pretty unimportant and hence not worth fighting about if you feel differently.

FWIW we sleep in the smaller room in our first condo together. The bigger room worked better as an office where you go to appreciate the views during the day versus at night when things were dark. The nonAttached bathroom was a bit odd but it took like 2 days to adapt.

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rosylenm
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by rosylenm » Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:35 am

randomguy wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:08 pm
finite_difference wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:40 pm
mouses wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:22 pm
rosylenm wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:
And every time I see that patronizing sexism, I have to remind myself that grinding teeth results in dental bills.
Yes, it should be “happy family, happy life”. In response to someone who is being controlling, thoughtless, neurotic, etc. (Guilty as charged.)

I do think it’s fair to say if your family is happy, that you tend to be happier yourself.

Nope. Having a happy wife (or family) might be necessary to be happy but it alone isn't sufficient for a happy life. If I write
"My wife is super happy but I am miserable because I am working 80 hours/week and commuting 3 hours per day to keep her in the lifestyle she wants where she wants" would anyone be spouting off the "Happy wife, happy life" line? It works only because you assume all the decisions like this that the wife is making are pretty unimportant and hence not worth fighting about if you feel differently.

FWIW we sleep in the smaller room in our first condo together. The bigger room worked better as an office where you go to appreciate the views during the day versus at night when things were dark. The nonAttached bathroom was a bit odd but it took like 2 days to adapt.
It’s funny (ironic not ha ha) when I say it (woman), it’s sexist and have to be corrected many times over. When a man says it, crickets chirp. Don’t believe me, google it. Even Taylor L. agrees (not his exact words, but the gist is the same; see his post earlier in thread).

randomguy
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by randomguy » Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:12 am

rosylenm wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:35 am

It’s funny (ironic not ha ha) when I say it (woman), it’s sexist and have to be corrected many times over. When a man says it, crickets chirp. Don’t believe me, google it. Even Taylor L. agrees (not his exact words, but the gist is the same; see his post earlier in thread).

People have been objecting to this statement for years on this board. Here is a thread from 2.5 years ago

viewtopic.php?t=169757

and I would guess someone called "sleepking" is a guy. Only 'mouses' can tell you if the reason the reply was written was because you were a woman. You can assume that. I think the odds are more likely it just happened to be at the end of the thread when they logged in. No real way of telling (after all should we believe the answer we get?). Heck I have no clue if mouses is a man or woman or if that changes anything.

All that being said, I tend to ask for why in these type of cases. A little communication often goes a long way. People often have instinctive reactions and you need to give them a bit of time to think through the problem. And then you have to decide if it is a hill you want to fight over. Heck the wife might have solid reasons why it would be very stupid to use the big room as anything other than a bedroom (light, noise, closet spaces,.....) that the OP didn't think of.

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rosylenm
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by rosylenm » Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:36 am

randomguy wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:12 am
rosylenm wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:35 am

It’s funny (ironic not ha ha) when I say it (woman), it’s sexist and have to be corrected many times over. When a man says it, crickets chirp. Don’t believe me, google it. Even Taylor L. agrees (not his exact words, but the gist is the same; see his post earlier in thread).

People have been objecting to this statement for years on this board. Here is a thread from 2.5 years ago

viewtopic.php?t=169757

and I would guess someone called "sleepking" is a guy. Only 'mouses' can tell you if the reason the reply was written was because you were a woman. You can assume that. I think the odds are more likely it just happened to be at the end of the thread when they logged in. No real way of telling (after all should we believe the answer we get?). Heck I have no clue if mouses is a man or woman or if that changes anything.

All that being said, I tend to ask for why in these type of cases. A little communication often goes a long way. People often have instinctive reactions and you need to give them a bit of time to think through the problem. And then you have to decide if it is a hill you want to fight over. Heck the wife might have solid reasons why it would be very stupid to use the big room as anything other than a bedroom (light, noise, closet spaces,.....) that the OP didn't think of.
I had never heard the happy wife, happy wife phrase until reading posts in (on?) this forum.

My real point, which has been lost in the dog pile about that apparently very triggering phrase, is illustrative of life for all of us in the U.S. these days.

Helo80
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Helo80 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:44 am

dm200 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm
I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )

Posting on Bogle Heads ?

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samsoes
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by samsoes » Fri Feb 02, 2018 8:37 am

rosylenm wrote:
Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:03 am

People often say on this board, happy wife happy life. And it seems to be true (I am a
wife).

I don’t know if betting is allowed, but I’d bet ten bucks no matter what she decides, she’s gonna change her mind. You just gotta roll with it. :wink:
I have a friend (mid 60's woman) who has a sign in her kitchen which reads "When the Queen is happy, there is peace in the kingdom."

She often points to it when she and her husband have a disagreement. It works.
"Happiness Is Not My Companion" - Gen. Gouverneur K. Warren. | (Avatar is the statue of Gen. Warren at Little Round Top @ Gettysburg National Military Park.)

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lthenderson
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by lthenderson » Fri Feb 02, 2018 9:34 am

Living in a four seasons part of this country, we choose bedrooms with east or north facing windows. East facing windows give you morning sunlight which we enjoy and during the summer months, your room doesn't get so hot by having a west facing window. If there is a north/south choice, north facing wins out because you get sunlight in the winter time which can help keep the room more comfortable. During the summer time, south facing windows will get direct sunlight and heat up the room.

LiterallyIronic
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by LiterallyIronic » Fri Feb 02, 2018 9:46 am

theplayer11 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:47 pm
I never understood the need for a large bedroom. We sleep there, get up and never step foot in there until the next night.
We're the same way. We sleep in one of the small bedrooms - and use the "master bedroom" as an entertainment room. It has a couch, TV, computer, etc. Using the large bedroom just for sleeping and changing clothes seems like a waste of space.

mega317
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by mega317 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 9:55 am

What hemisphere are you in?

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luminous
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2017 10:28 pm

Re: Compromise or Give-In ?

Post by luminous » Fri Feb 02, 2018 10:14 am

Taylor Larimore wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 9:06 pm
2m2037:

Perhaps I can help.

My wife died on May 23, 2013, after 62 years of marriage. During that time we usually compromised on decisions of this sort--often leaving us both unsatisfied.

Now, with my new love, I told her to make any changes she wants. Some were a bit costly, but our apartment is the way she wants it and she thinks I'm an angel for letting her have her way. I can live with that. :happy

Live and learn.

Best wishes.
Taylor
I really like this and my spouse and I try to do something similar. The way we talk about it is: if the decision doesn’t matter on the grand scheme of things then the person who cares less backs down and goes with the flow. Makes everything easier on us both. We are in it for the long haul, will this decision matter in a year?

One downside to this approach is when I want him to have an opinion but he doesn’t, and is going with the flow, it can be tough and I have to find alternate support structures. I recently finished a big job search and we couldn’t have a useful-to-me conversation about the pros and cons of each possible decision. He just said things like “I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”
45/25/30 US stock/international stock/bonds. Target date funds. Hope to semi-retire in 2026.

fulltilt
Posts: 140
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:23 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by fulltilt » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:28 pm

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:
Sounds like a question you should ask her. :twisted:

fulltilt
Posts: 140
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:23 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by fulltilt » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:33 pm

Helo80 wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:44 am
dm200 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm
I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )

Posting on Bogle Heads ?
Getting dressed.

exrook
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 2:00 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by exrook » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:38 pm

dm200 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm
I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )
The other is what the big room is for... 8-)
2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room;

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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Doom&Gloom » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:55 pm

dm200 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm
I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )
Basic sleep hygiene.
If you and your partner have no problems sleeping and aren't concerned about sleep issues occurring, then meh.

bungalow10
Posts: 2201
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:28 am
Location: Chicago North Shore

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by bungalow10 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 3:22 pm

I have three kids (10 y/o boy, 8 y/o girl, 5 y/o boy). When we moved to Amsterdam, we moved to a three bedroom apartment, intending to have a girl bedroom and a boy bedroom.

The kids decided, on their own, that they would all three bunk in the smallest room and use the bigger room next door as their play room. It's worked out really well.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.

Helo80
Posts: 726
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:47 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by Helo80 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:05 pm

fulltilt wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:33 pm
Helo80 wrote:
Fri Feb 02, 2018 7:44 am
dm200 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:50 pm
I have seen "studies" on health that recommend doing only 1 or 2 things in the bedroom. The one is sleep. The other is ... (not reading or watching TV or using an exercise machine ... )

Posting on Bogle Heads ?
Getting dressed.

Oh, duh! How could I miss that obvious one...

gretah
Posts: 150
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:14 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by gretah » Fri Feb 02, 2018 11:33 pm

"The day the realtor showed us our 7 bedroom home, DW knew exactly what each room was for. That was about it.
Above my "pay grade".
"

LOL!

Happy wife, happy life.

btw - your DW considers the bedroom her and your sanctuary. Do not mess with her definition of sanctuary.

URSnshn
Posts: 157
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2016 6:10 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by URSnshn » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:04 am

I have no idea which room in this house is the master bedroom. If I had to guess it would be the room with the 2nd closet. However the other room has three windows. Both are close to the same size. We chose the one with the windows.

JoeRetire
Posts: 1483
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:44 pm

Re: Choosing which room to sleep in

Post by JoeRetire » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:37 am

2m2037 wrote:
Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:01 pm
My wife and I are moving to a new place that has 2 bedrooms, both with attached full bathrooms. 1 room is bigger than the other. When we first viewed the place, we thought of using the smaller room as a home office. As time went on, we started talking about how we could maybe put some home gym equipment as well. Maybe even a small couch and TV? No, not enough space for all 3 ideas. Hmm.

Last night I suggested making the smaller room the “sleeping” room, and using the bigger room as the “activity” room; in the smaller room, there is ample space for our bed and who needs the extra space when sleeping, right? Wife looked aghast, and I can’t figure out why.

Can anyone help? :oops:
I'm with you. The "master" bedroom doesn't need to be big, IMHO. And the bigger room could better be used for other activities. But whenever my wife is aghast I know I need to check my thinking.

Unless this is important to you for some reason you should go just along with your wife's wishes.

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