How to deal with Micro-manager
How to deal with Micro-manager
This is for my wife who used to work for a big health care company. She moved to an architect role in a new company. She is in her third week.
Her manger is a micro manager and seems to throw sarcastic jokes and sentences at her all the time.
She worked for fortune 500 companies. According to her manger her current company $348M market cap company is really big and he asked her numerous times if she ever worked for a big company and ever taken up big projects.
Also he made a point that all conference call participants must turn their laptop camera on at all times. And participants are not allowed to mute their laptop even when they are not speaking. Usual general practice is you keep your side on mute when you are in listening.
Is there is no activity on the computer then messenger changes the state from active to idle.
By nature she is not confrontational, she keeps saying I can not behave like a teenager in a professional environment. Should she escalate to his boss. How should she approach this situation. Pay is good and lot of visibility to top management if this immediate hindrance is ignored.
Her manger is a micro manager and seems to throw sarcastic jokes and sentences at her all the time.
She worked for fortune 500 companies. According to her manger her current company $348M market cap company is really big and he asked her numerous times if she ever worked for a big company and ever taken up big projects.
Also he made a point that all conference call participants must turn their laptop camera on at all times. And participants are not allowed to mute their laptop even when they are not speaking. Usual general practice is you keep your side on mute when you are in listening.
Is there is no activity on the computer then messenger changes the state from active to idle.
By nature she is not confrontational, she keeps saying I can not behave like a teenager in a professional environment. Should she escalate to his boss. How should she approach this situation. Pay is good and lot of visibility to top management if this immediate hindrance is ignored.
Last edited by raamakoti on Wed Dec 13, 2017 1:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Yes. I had a manager who acted the same way, but worse. The camera part brought it all back for me. In my case, part of my task was writing complex technical articles. My manager would read the work I had done and told me "change it to this" in an email. My thought was that if he wanted to change it to that exactly, he could do it in the document itself faster than he could tell me to do it. I would make the change in the spirit of what he was looking for if not the exact wording. He would not accept this and would berate me for my non-compliance. When his boss found out what he was doing, he was immediately demoted and eventually fired. Fortunately, with him being remote, we had group webex meetings in a conference room right next to the head of HR. The HR person heard his utterings over webex through the wall and was the one to bring it up to his boss. The rest of the group assumed that his boss had approved all of his demands as the whole company culture was disfunctional.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I would wait to see how the person is valued in the company. Most micro managers eventually get fired for something. But sometimes they have one person(boss) that for some reason wants to keep the person.
My boss's boss was a micro manager. Used to tell him you had to eat lunch with him, shake his hand when he saw him. Would have meetings before meetings to understand technical documents and then have a meeting after the meeting to go over the meeting. It was pretty ridiculous. He would boast about his position as CTO with only a masters when my boss had a PHd but was clearly better suited as a CTO in all aspects.
Eventually the company fired him and promoted my boss as CTO. My boss complained a lot to the CEO but it never really meant anything until a upper level executive change/business shift was put into place.
My boss's boss was a micro manager. Used to tell him you had to eat lunch with him, shake his hand when he saw him. Would have meetings before meetings to understand technical documents and then have a meeting after the meeting to go over the meeting. It was pretty ridiculous. He would boast about his position as CTO with only a masters when my boss had a PHd but was clearly better suited as a CTO in all aspects.
Eventually the company fired him and promoted my boss as CTO. My boss complained a lot to the CEO but it never really meant anything until a upper level executive change/business shift was put into place.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
raamakoti,raamakoti wrote: ↑Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:31 am This is for my wife who used to work for a big health care company. She moved to an architect role in a new company. She is in her third week.
Her manger is a micro manager and seems to throw sarcastic jokes and sentences at her all the time.
She worked for companies like JMPC, MS, GE all her life. According to her manger her current company $348M market cap company is really big and he asked her numerous times if she ever worked for a big company and ever taken up big projects.
Also he made a point that all conference call participants must turn their laptop camera on at all times. Is there is no activity on the computer then messenger changes the state from active to idle.
By nature she is not confrontational, she keeps saying I can not behave like a teenager in a professional environment. Should she escalate to his boss. How should she approach this situation. Pay is good and lot of visibility to top management if this immediate hindrance is ignored.
<< Also he made a point that all conference call participants must turn their laptop camera on at all times. >>
Just say no to an unreasonable request.
<< By nature she is not confrontational, she keeps saying I can not behave like a teenager in a professional environment.>>
I do not understand this statement. If someone makes an unreasonable request, you should ask the person to explain the reason behind the request.
<<Should she escalate to his boss. How should she approach this situation.>>
As the manager to explain the reason behind the request. If the manager refuses or the explanation is unsatisfactory, then, escalate.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Is the manager the hiring manager?
How does the manager interact with other direct reports? Men/women? Senior/junior? What kind of people does he treat with respect?
I would not do a skip-level until she has attempted resolution with the manager.
How does the manager interact with other direct reports? Men/women? Senior/junior? What kind of people does he treat with respect?
I would not do a skip-level until she has attempted resolution with the manager.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Yes - He is the hiring manager.TomatoTomahto wrote: ↑Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:59 am Is the manager the hiring manager?
How does the manager interact with other direct reports? Men/women? Senior/junior? What kind of people does he treat with respect?
I would not do a skip-level until she has attempted resolution with the manager.
Most of the team is remote, Charlotte, Huston. He himself works from home for 90% of the time but he insists my wife to be in the office everyday. Bad weather work from home requests he approves with contempt. Could not find out whom does he respect because of the limited interaction.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
raamakoti,raamakoti wrote: ↑Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:06 pmYes - He is the hiring manager.TomatoTomahto wrote: ↑Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:59 am Is the manager the hiring manager?
How does the manager interact with other direct reports? Men/women? Senior/junior? What kind of people does he treat with respect?
I would not do a skip-level until she has attempted resolution with the manager.
Most of the team is remote, Charlotte, Huston. He himself works from home for 90% of the time but he insists my wife to be in the office everyday. Bad weather work from home requests he approves with contempt. Could not find out whom does he respect because of the limited interaction.
Why would your wife agree to this request? What is the actual company policy?
KlangFool
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Wow. He sounds like a classic jerk. I think your wife should, discreetly, find out how well he’s regarded in the company. VERY discreetly.
I guess, on the bright side, he’s not in the office much to bother her.
I guess, on the bright side, he’s not in the office much to bother her.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
She's been working for 3 weeks? Give it some time.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
There is a cultural chasm here than can't be crossed. Both from DW's behavior and culture as a response and reaction. And, also efforts to communicate and create empathy (if that is indeed possible with a bully). And, also, any effort to restructure the arrangement and communication styles (draw lines, personal boundaries) going forward without resentment and consequence.
Your wife's reaction is typical and honorable.
The difficulty is that if she were to escalate or confront, the bully is far more capable of going farther down that road of dirt than she is as culturally, and as a dignified lady, she will not stoop below a certain level. Whereas, a bully will stop to any level because that is where he thrives, what gives him self esteem, and identity. (Mr. Tough Guy. . . coward).
Some minorities, whether professional or not, as if it matters at times (and should not), in a Western corporate environment will respond with, "you're the boss" or other acknowledgement to defuse the situation, without enabling further bullying. There are many options.
Actionably, I have been in similar circumstance, patience and silence works. Wait and see. Give the bully nothing to punch but an unreactive void. They feed on reaction and confrontation, and also prod to subservience. Do neither.
For now. . . .
"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love." Ghandi.
Apologies if I am mistaken on the human aspect of the situation.
I hope this is helpful.
j
Your wife's reaction is typical and honorable.
The difficulty is that if she were to escalate or confront, the bully is far more capable of going farther down that road of dirt than she is as culturally, and as a dignified lady, she will not stoop below a certain level. Whereas, a bully will stop to any level because that is where he thrives, what gives him self esteem, and identity. (Mr. Tough Guy. . . coward).
Some minorities, whether professional or not, as if it matters at times (and should not), in a Western corporate environment will respond with, "you're the boss" or other acknowledgement to defuse the situation, without enabling further bullying. There are many options.
Actionably, I have been in similar circumstance, patience and silence works. Wait and see. Give the bully nothing to punch but an unreactive void. They feed on reaction and confrontation, and also prod to subservience. Do neither.
For now. . . .
"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love." Ghandi.
Apologies if I am mistaken on the human aspect of the situation.
I hope this is helpful.
j
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
PVW,
Why do you think that it will get better? IMHO, it could only get worse if she does not put a stop to this.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
OP - Curious to know how things worked out for your wife.
Taking care of tomorrow while enjoying today.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
OP,
Who interviewed and hired your wife? It does not look that person is your wife's current manager. The current manager is feeling threatened by your wife. Your wife should talk to her sponsor and ask how to deal with this situation. The sponsor is probably current manager's boss or higher.
KlangFool
Who interviewed and hired your wife? It does not look that person is your wife's current manager. The current manager is feeling threatened by your wife. Your wife should talk to her sponsor and ask how to deal with this situation. The sponsor is probably current manager's boss or higher.
KlangFool
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I will jump in and say it will not necessarily get better, but she's likely to get a better sense over time of what his management style means, what the actual culture of the company is, and who the best people to approach are to address her concerns.
That's not to dismiss her frustration. I think others have good points about things like asking if there is a reason for the discrepancy in expectations for working in office vs. at home. But with any job, there's some things that are different, like an expectation of using a camera during conference calls, that you just get used to.
I'm also saying this very generally. The description of the work environment is really, really cursory and I can't really say from reading a couple sentences on a forum that I have a clear idea what she is dealing with.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
The tact I've always taken throughout my career when dealing with micro-managers is:
"Learn to get with the program or find another program to get with"
I've had some micro-managers that I simply humored by providing to them what they wanted. Over time some of these are discovered to be poor managers by their leaders and are eventually managed out of the organization (in a couple of cases I was the one that replaced their position). I've also been in situations whereby I simply couldn't tolerate the person. In those cases I've gone with respectable direct confrontation to try to understand policies/procedures and if I couldn't get on board - I would find another job. It might help when she gets to know her co-workers and is able to confide in them a bit to see how others deal with the person. Things like requesting a webcam be turned on or wanting employees to always be in the office could be due to a lack of trust which the manager will eventually overcome. (Although for webcams - some folks simply feel its a better way of bringing remote groups together).
If the person has been managing a LONG time they are unlikely to change. If it is a new manager they might just be learning how to manage and may back off on some policies over time.
(I once replaced a long-standing micro-manager. It took a while to convince my employees that they didn't need to put in for an hour vacation time just to leave work an hour early to go to a Doctor's appointment or see a kid's soccer game - I couldn't believe what the prior manager was doing and this was to salaried engineers - they were all working far more than 40 hours a week but their former manager convinced them that 9-5 were base hours and if there cheeks weren't in seats during those hours they needed to file for time off ... and this is just one example of the kind of things he focused on that were unnecessary).
"Learn to get with the program or find another program to get with"
I've had some micro-managers that I simply humored by providing to them what they wanted. Over time some of these are discovered to be poor managers by their leaders and are eventually managed out of the organization (in a couple of cases I was the one that replaced their position). I've also been in situations whereby I simply couldn't tolerate the person. In those cases I've gone with respectable direct confrontation to try to understand policies/procedures and if I couldn't get on board - I would find another job. It might help when she gets to know her co-workers and is able to confide in them a bit to see how others deal with the person. Things like requesting a webcam be turned on or wanting employees to always be in the office could be due to a lack of trust which the manager will eventually overcome. (Although for webcams - some folks simply feel its a better way of bringing remote groups together).
If the person has been managing a LONG time they are unlikely to change. If it is a new manager they might just be learning how to manage and may back off on some policies over time.
(I once replaced a long-standing micro-manager. It took a while to convince my employees that they didn't need to put in for an hour vacation time just to leave work an hour early to go to a Doctor's appointment or see a kid's soccer game - I couldn't believe what the prior manager was doing and this was to salaried engineers - they were all working far more than 40 hours a week but their former manager convinced them that 9-5 were base hours and if there cheeks weren't in seats during those hours they needed to file for time off ... and this is just one example of the kind of things he focused on that were unnecessary).
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Weird of all (missed to mention) is that all his directs, when on conference call need to be unmuted, even when they are not talking. If he sees someone muted he would point out and ask them to unmute. Looks like he is a relatively newer manager, and had been with this one company ever since he is out of college(20-25 years), may not have had exposure to working with people of various backgrounds and bigger corporations, may be thinking all that he knew and had seen is what all it's in the wider world. She now is (and in the past also) salaried engineer (permanent)
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Seems like the prior employees, when working remote did not show professionalism, hence this manager turned like this.
I know employees given an opportunity to work remote, go overseas ( home country) and work, without even telling.
Also some employees do other tasks as well when on a remote call, that is why the manager, do want to unmute and be on camera.
If the manager has been with the company for more than 20+ years, he knows what he is doing or what the leadership can do or what the HR can do.
For your wife, I would suggest, ask her to do what is correct for her. Just mute and be off camera, as far as she does work, the manager cannot complain that she muted her call.
Basically the manager can yell at the team, but cannot complain up, so take your chances.
It may be a struggle for a while, but the manager will give up, nor start a conflict with your wife.
At the last resort, you wife can find a better job or if fired, b happy that it did happened.
But I am sure when the employee is "Affirmative", "Valued" and does her work, there should be no big issues, small hassles "yes"
I know employees given an opportunity to work remote, go overseas ( home country) and work, without even telling.
Also some employees do other tasks as well when on a remote call, that is why the manager, do want to unmute and be on camera.
If the manager has been with the company for more than 20+ years, he knows what he is doing or what the leadership can do or what the HR can do.
For your wife, I would suggest, ask her to do what is correct for her. Just mute and be off camera, as far as she does work, the manager cannot complain that she muted her call.
Basically the manager can yell at the team, but cannot complain up, so take your chances.
It may be a struggle for a while, but the manager will give up, nor start a conflict with your wife.
At the last resort, you wife can find a better job or if fired, b happy that it did happened.
But I am sure when the employee is "Affirmative", "Valued" and does her work, there should be no big issues, small hassles "yes"
Invest when you have the money, sell when you need the money, for real life expenses...
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
How i would handle as a 3 week employee with established bad manager may be different if I were an established employee with good track record with a new bad manager.
How long has the manager been with the company? Does he have a good reputation? Or perhaps he is valued for his technical or other skills in spite of his crappy management style.
There aren’t any great options here. I’m not sure I’d confront the manager after 3 weeks unless she is at wits end and is willing to accept the consequences.
Typically I’d recommend talking to a trusted source in HR if one exists. That resource may be able to give some history, context or suggestions. But there is no guarantee the HR contact will keep it confidential. So it is a bit of a dice roll.
My guess is it isn’t going to materially change so your wife has to decide whether the benefits of the job outweigh dealing with a childish manager. Is it worth waiting it out a few months and see what happens? Organizations can change pretty quickly.
If it doesn’t get better fast I’d start the new job search process again.
How long has the manager been with the company? Does he have a good reputation? Or perhaps he is valued for his technical or other skills in spite of his crappy management style.
There aren’t any great options here. I’m not sure I’d confront the manager after 3 weeks unless she is at wits end and is willing to accept the consequences.
Typically I’d recommend talking to a trusted source in HR if one exists. That resource may be able to give some history, context or suggestions. But there is no guarantee the HR contact will keep it confidential. So it is a bit of a dice roll.
My guess is it isn’t going to materially change so your wife has to decide whether the benefits of the job outweigh dealing with a childish manager. Is it worth waiting it out a few months and see what happens? Organizations can change pretty quickly.
If it doesn’t get better fast I’d start the new job search process again.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Half joking response about the conference call muting - get a mechanical keyboard with the loudest keys you can find, and take notes during the meetings.
"I'm sorry, do you not want me to treat these calls as important and take notes? Or should I just mute my microphone?"
"I'm sorry, do you not want me to treat these calls as important and take notes? Or should I just mute my microphone?"
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
This, to me, is a much bigger deal than the laptop issues.
She needs to address this with him in a professional way, if at all possible. The next step is HR (hostile work environment).
She could always ask Alison Green at AskAManager.com for her thoughts. She always gives great advice.
Carpe Diem.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Get a dog or a recording of a dog that barks incessantly. Wait for the manager to ask to mute.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Perhaps I missed it, but has the wife of OP had a face-to-face meeting with the manager to discuss and understand each others perspectives and objectives?
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
The mute thing is bizarre, if you used the volume adjustment knob in windows to turn the microphone down would the manager even be able to tell? I'm guessing not.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Start looking for another job, and read "Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them without Stooping to Their Level"
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I am a bit less concerned about the webcam and not muting since that could be in response to some prior problems. I have seen situations where some employees abused working from at home so she might be feeling repercussions from prior situations so that would not be a big deal to me.
The rest of the situation does not sound great so she should consider if taking that job was a mistake or not. If so then she may want to consider moving sooner rather than later.
I once had a job where it was clear after I started that the company had major problems that were not fixable that were not apparent in the interviews. Within a couple of weeks I was looking for a different job and had moved on within a few months.
Having that short of a stay at a job was never a problem for me in looking for future jobs when I explained the situation.
A big risk for her is that if she stays there then the manager will find some reason to fire her or that she could be stuck in the middle of failed projects and either of these could have a negative impact on her career.
The rest of the situation does not sound great so she should consider if taking that job was a mistake or not. If so then she may want to consider moving sooner rather than later.
I once had a job where it was clear after I started that the company had major problems that were not fixable that were not apparent in the interviews. Within a couple of weeks I was looking for a different job and had moved on within a few months.
Having that short of a stay at a job was never a problem for me in looking for future jobs when I explained the situation.
A big risk for her is that if she stays there then the manager will find some reason to fire her or that she could be stuck in the middle of failed projects and either of these could have a negative impact on her career.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I would expect the micromanagement problems to get better. At 3 weeks, I might be a little concerned if my manager didn't offer detailed guidance on what he/she expects.
I really don't know if the other aspects will get any better. But my point was that 3 weeks is not enough time to judge the relationship. Nothing in the OPs post seemed to be absolutely intolerable (for a short while), so just tough it out for a while and see what happens.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
As far as "abusing system", she is not sure if the manager had any bad experiences in the past, everyone in the current team though, is very professional, sincere and nice. She can't imagine any of them could be misusing and abusing the system. It could mostly be that he is seeing himself in others (like himself doing 90% WFH, away for hours etc.)
As far as Face-2-Face, that's the biggest mistake she made the "first time" and “learnt a big lesson”, unlike every other Job, for this one alone, she met everyone else in the team via "video" during interview (and I think few of his peer-managers too), except this very person. She indeed insisted a Face-2-Face with this person, and he refused, and said not needed as there is no team locally, except himself and he is traveling for most time etc... Had she had an F2F, it would have been easier to smell.
It's not this aspect, the "micro" aspect comes with work too, for example, a document will be reviewed and the feedback will not be about the quality of the content but about stuff like paraphrasing, including a "," etc.. While using company chatting also she feels it is silly that he uses many emojis, series of "....." etc... She never saw that in a professional environment in the past. But one good thing (or bad) is that, she is very sure that this is how he communicates, behaves with all, not just her, everyone else must have been used to, while she alone finds it odd.
Most importantly she already feels, she will be doing something else than what she was told to be doing, her expertise mostly will not be put to good use.
The best course of action looks is to start looking out and forget about the “visibility in the current role & growth prospects” .
As far as Face-2-Face, that's the biggest mistake she made the "first time" and “learnt a big lesson”, unlike every other Job, for this one alone, she met everyone else in the team via "video" during interview (and I think few of his peer-managers too), except this very person. She indeed insisted a Face-2-Face with this person, and he refused, and said not needed as there is no team locally, except himself and he is traveling for most time etc... Had she had an F2F, it would have been easier to smell.
It's not this aspect, the "micro" aspect comes with work too, for example, a document will be reviewed and the feedback will not be about the quality of the content but about stuff like paraphrasing, including a "," etc.. While using company chatting also she feels it is silly that he uses many emojis, series of "....." etc... She never saw that in a professional environment in the past. But one good thing (or bad) is that, she is very sure that this is how he communicates, behaves with all, not just her, everyone else must have been used to, while she alone finds it odd.
Most importantly she already feels, she will be doing something else than what she was told to be doing, her expertise mostly will not be put to good use.
The best course of action looks is to start looking out and forget about the “visibility in the current role & growth prospects” .
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I have had a couple of really lousy managers in my time, including one who displayed the kind of personal animosity shown here, for which there is no excuse. In my experience they are not fixable.
Both times I found a job elsewhere. It was the longest couple of months of my life when I was in one of these situations until I found another job.
Both times I found a job elsewhere. It was the longest couple of months of my life when I was in one of these situations until I found another job.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
This is actually one thing I am puzzled by the OP's wife having a problem with. If the manager is correcting her use of English in documents, I would have no problem with that. As the recipient of documents, it turned me off if they were badly written. It also seems odd to complain about the use of ... and so on in chats, which are certainly not formal.raamakoti wrote: ↑Thu Dec 14, 2017 3:38 pm It's not this aspect, the "micro" aspect comes with work too, for example, a document will be reviewed and the feedback will not be about the quality of the content but about stuff like paraphrasing, including a "," etc.. While using company chatting also she feels it is silly that he uses many emojis, series of "....." etc... She never saw that in a professional environment in the past. But one good thing (or bad) is that, she is very sure that this is how he communicates, behaves with all, not just her, everyone else must have been used to, while she alone finds it odd.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
To supplement the excellent suggestions about creating background noise, smear some vaseline on the camera lens or put a mirror angled 45 degrees in front of it.
Steve
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I think OP said that his wife finds the manager’s use of emojis and ellipses out of place, not that the manager criticizes their use by her.mouses wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:05 amThis is actually one thing I am puzzled by the OP's wife having a problem with. If the manager is correcting her use of English in documents, I would have no problem with that. As the recipient of documents, it turned me off if they were badly written. It also seems odd to complain about the use of ... and so on in chats, which are certainly not formal.raamakoti wrote: ↑Thu Dec 14, 2017 3:38 pm It's not this aspect, the "micro" aspect comes with work too, for example, a document will be reviewed and the feedback will not be about the quality of the content but about stuff like paraphrasing, including a "," etc.. While using company chatting also she feels it is silly that he uses many emojis, series of "....." etc... She never saw that in a professional environment in the past. But one good thing (or bad) is that, she is very sure that this is how he communicates, behaves with all, not just her, everyone else must have been used to, while she alone finds it odd.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
If I could offer some reality to this thread . . . Writing about these issues on here won't help and neither will any advice you get. The solution is to accept the truth that when you're an employee, you have very little rights. You need to submit to the boss's authority completely and totally, until you're able to get a different job. The delusion that an employee has any power is very dangerous. Of course, if your wife is connected with people up top then she has the power to deal with this person, but you wouldn't be posting here if that were true. So she needs to suck up and take it.
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Funny that the manager thinks $350m market cap is "really big." That would be classified as a "small cap" stock.
Has the manager been in the role for a long time or are they a new person? Do people move a lot between managers, or do they tend to be stuck with one. That may be useful information for evaluating whether she needs to jump ship. There's usually little to be gained by sticking around long-term under a bad manager. He is unlikely to improve.
Has the manager been in the role for a long time or are they a new person? Do people move a lot between managers, or do they tend to be stuck with one. That may be useful information for evaluating whether she needs to jump ship. There's usually little to be gained by sticking around long-term under a bad manager. He is unlikely to improve.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I worked for a remotely located micro-manager at Mega-Corp for about 2-3 years. Don't hope that he will just "go away", because odds are he won't. My micro-manager had a knack of talking himself up to his immediate supervisors in person, convincing them that the sun didn't rise in the morning without his say-so. And this didn't just happen once. I saw him do it with two new bosses before I worked for him and once after I did. Everyone at his level and below knew about him and his bullying tactics and the way he had a couple of enablers working for him who would actually make things work as best they could. But those above him remained surprisingly ignorant of the situation.
I put in two years until I was able to apply for other jobs, and got out as fast as I could. Interestingly, I got a job in technical support, helping those in the company who had to put up with some of the problems his group and their dysfunctions had caused. I had plenty to keep me busy, and was able to do a lot of good work there.
So, your wife should either make plans that will eventually get her out of there, or decide to keep a low profile and tough it out. It's a bad situation, and it happens surprisingly often.
I put in two years until I was able to apply for other jobs, and got out as fast as I could. Interestingly, I got a job in technical support, helping those in the company who had to put up with some of the problems his group and their dysfunctions had caused. I had plenty to keep me busy, and was able to do a lot of good work there.
So, your wife should either make plans that will eventually get her out of there, or decide to keep a low profile and tough it out. It's a bad situation, and it happens surprisingly often.
“Love with your heart; Use your brain for everything else.” -Captain Disillusion
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
That's exactly right. She is not using, she finds it odd that manager uses these informal ways with communication.TomatoTomahto wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:16 amI think OP said that his wife finds the manager’s use of emojis and ellipses out of place, not that the manager criticizes their use by her.mouses wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:05 amThis is actually one thing I am puzzled by the OP's wife having a problem with. If the manager is correcting her use of English in documents, I would have no problem with that. As the recipient of documents, it turned me off if they were badly written. It also seems odd to complain about the use of ... and so on in chats, which are certainly not formal.raamakoti wrote: ↑Thu Dec 14, 2017 3:38 pm It's not this aspect, the "micro" aspect comes with work too, for example, a document will be reviewed and the feedback will not be about the quality of the content but about stuff like paraphrasing, including a "," etc.. While using company chatting also she feels it is silly that he uses many emojis, series of "....." etc... She never saw that in a professional environment in the past. But one good thing (or bad) is that, she is very sure that this is how he communicates, behaves with all, not just her, everyone else must have been used to, while she alone finds it odd.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
Early in my career, I had a manager who had been promoted to that role a month or so before I came on. I was his first direct report.
In my first few days, he had taken several thousand dollars to pay a consultant to come in and train the two of us on a system that I knew my way around on an expert level and relayed this to him in the interview process. The day before the consultant was to fly out to our corporate office, she had a terrible auto accident and was not able to come. She recovered fine, but had a hospital stay.
The guy freaked out. How were we supposed to get started on this project? This is terrible. By lunch he had meetings with all the higher ups freaking out. His boss called me in and I explained confidently that I could handle this without the training - just needed the credentials to login. His boss got them to me and I knocked it out of the park. His manager and I became friendly, and he would start coming to me instead of going to him to get to me.
Manager became micromanager from hell. Twice daily checkup meetings on what I was working on. The final straw came when I had a speaking arrangement on behalf of the company a couple hours away and he showed up to it unexpectedly to make sure I was there. I was about six months in at this point. I told his boss and he was furious that he took a half day and lied about what he was doing. It wasn't my intention to catch him in a lie, but when his boss found out that he did that, he was relieved from his managerial duties and I reported directly to a different VP. What sucked about the whole thing is that I really liked what I was doing and the track I was on, but in order to not hurt feelings, I was moved to a different role. It worked out for me in the long run, but later I found out that the bad manager was a college basketball player and was giving private lessons to the CEO's son so he was basically untouchable.
All that to say - you never know what's going on behind the scenes.
In my first few days, he had taken several thousand dollars to pay a consultant to come in and train the two of us on a system that I knew my way around on an expert level and relayed this to him in the interview process. The day before the consultant was to fly out to our corporate office, she had a terrible auto accident and was not able to come. She recovered fine, but had a hospital stay.
The guy freaked out. How were we supposed to get started on this project? This is terrible. By lunch he had meetings with all the higher ups freaking out. His boss called me in and I explained confidently that I could handle this without the training - just needed the credentials to login. His boss got them to me and I knocked it out of the park. His manager and I became friendly, and he would start coming to me instead of going to him to get to me.
Manager became micromanager from hell. Twice daily checkup meetings on what I was working on. The final straw came when I had a speaking arrangement on behalf of the company a couple hours away and he showed up to it unexpectedly to make sure I was there. I was about six months in at this point. I told his boss and he was furious that he took a half day and lied about what he was doing. It wasn't my intention to catch him in a lie, but when his boss found out that he did that, he was relieved from his managerial duties and I reported directly to a different VP. What sucked about the whole thing is that I really liked what I was doing and the track I was on, but in order to not hurt feelings, I was moved to a different role. It worked out for me in the long run, but later I found out that the bad manager was a college basketball player and was giving private lessons to the CEO's son so he was basically untouchable.
All that to say - you never know what's going on behind the scenes.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
My first thought....how far down the road to financial freedom are you.
I chant this daily, another day closer to retirement
Stepping over to escalate will cause serious problems. She can respectfully ask but if it's this person's persona, it is what it is.
I chant this daily, another day closer to retirement
Stepping over to escalate will cause serious problems. She can respectfully ask but if it's this person's persona, it is what it is.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
+1
I second this. Through past experience this never goes well. With these types of cases Human Resources will never be on your side. Either find another job or speed up in achieving financial independence.
Stocks-80% || Bonds-20% || VTI/VXUS/AOR
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Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I remember the quote (not sure who said it) "Some people work at their job while others work at keeping their job". I had an administrator like this, everything was micro managed because he was uncomfortable with other people seeing that he was out of his element. It was brutal, but we have a much better administrator who lets us do our jobs and knows who he can count on. Its a huge boost to go in everyday like this. I wish your wife the best getting a better manager.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
It's tough to confront a micro-manager when you don't have any "capital" with them...and three weeks certainly isn't enough time to earn a manager's trust. I think some requests (like the video camera thing) can be declined, but in terms of ultimately combating this issue, an employee has to prove that they don't need micro-management.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I wish we can tap dance to FI but personally feel we are not there yet. 335k home loan and a Kindergartener in private school is long ways away from FI. We think we are on track but certainly not there yet. give or take we still need solid two decades of work before we can start thinking about retirement.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
I don't think that sending a kindergartener to private school is very Bogleheadish ... but I am prepared to be proved wrong!
[edited to add]: I've had my (un)fair share of micromanagers. The only way I ever got rid of them was by switching jobs.
Re: How to deal with Micro-manager
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