Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

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Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by topper1296 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:30 pm

I've been on BH for years, however I believe this is the first thread I've ever started. I'm a singe 43 year old professional and want to expand my network of friends (added bonus if I can find someone special). Anybody here belong to a service/volunteer/fraternal organization or a dinner club or anything like that? If yes, what are you impressions of it? I'm opening to joining someplace (i'm fine paying a membership fee if reasonable) and I'd prefer it be with other professionals and close to my age. Lastly, I'm not in sales or anything like that, so "business networking" is not really a priority.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by btenny » Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:42 pm

Mason's do lots of good works and offer brotherhood too many. The Commonwealth Club in San Francisco has great programs on current events. You might look into one of these.

Good luck.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by tim1999 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:54 pm

Keep in mind that the members of these types of groups/clubs tend to be on the older end of the spectrum these days, and there have been many news stories about declining membership levels; probably not a ton of early 40s men there. Nothing wrong with that, just set your expectations properly. I have more friends who are 30 years older than me than I do ones my age. Around here we have the Masons, Lions, Rotary, etc. plus a ton of clubs that are basically private dive bars for cheap eats/drinks among like minded people.

I love golf, so I joined a private golf club, and have made numerous friends that way.

As for finding "someone special" you are probably better off with online dating assuming you have a tough stomach.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by renue74 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:04 pm

I've read articles about making new friends after you get out of college. It's tough and you really have to actively pursue it. Once you get into a routine, it's difficult for some people to get out.

I have thought about joining supper clubs or service orgs, but have not. I do cycle and have ridden with the local cycle club on the weekends, but not enough to develop friendships.

I got married at 25 and my wife has been my friend for 18 years. While work friends are just that (BTW, there's a great post about work friends on this site that one poster really nailed it.)

I think there's a market for pairing people up as friends. I know this discussion well and have heard it many times over the years.

Possible places to look....hobby REI outdoors...they have clubs that do day events.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by VictoriaF » Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:09 pm

Check out meetups in your area, .

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by StevieG72 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 11:47 pm

It can be difficult building close friendships as adults, who has time!?

I have acuired, and seen other great friendships develop within church groups. Most churches have small groups that meet weekly.

Another idea, you could start or join a local Bogleheads Chapter, added benefit is that you may meet someone special that has the same financial goals as yourself.
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by TigerNest » Tue Sep 05, 2017 12:02 am

VictoriaF wrote:
Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:09 pm
Check out meetups in your area, .

I second this, my wife and I made several good friends this way.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by gretah » Tue Sep 05, 2017 1:30 pm

I agree that the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco has some great events for young people. They used to have an after-work lecture series with opportunities for attendees to mingle when I lived in SF. Perhaps they still offer these.

"Young member" / "friend's of" groups can be found at some museums, symphony, ballet, opera, and other art/performance related companies. Check their websites.
Here's a good one in San Francisco: ... s/artpoint

Hiking groups, like the Sierra Club, can have singles' sections. The outdoor activities usually attract more men than women. But in the bad-weather months, indoor activities like game night attract both women and men.

Good luck!

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by jasc15 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:14 pm

When I moved to the area I live in now, I joined a flying club since I had recently got my pilot license and wanted to continue to fly. Like someone above mentioned, most social club members are "advanced in age", but there were a few around my age (I first joined at 28). I don't make friends easily, but did retain a friendship with one member who remains my only local friend. Fortunately he and his wife get along well with my wife and I, and we keep in touch regularly. Had I not joined that flying club, I might not have branched out beyond my childhood friends in my hometown.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by dccboone » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:36 pm

I would recommend you Google "Rotary Clubs" in your area. This is an organization of professional men and women that believe in placing service to their community above themselves. Most Rotary clubs meet once a week for for an hour to enjoy each others friendship while also sharing a meal. Their motto is "Service Above Self" and each member agrees to conduct themselves in both their personal and professional life by following the Four-Way Test :

“Of the things we think, say or do”:
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all Concerned?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

I hope this helps.

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Re: Service organizations/Dinner clubs?

Post by 4nwestsaylng » Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:24 pm

Rotary is a great organization and does lots of good works. However, as a self employed professional,I joined for a while, every meeting seemed to be hitting us all up for donations to this or that cause. There were owners of car dealerships, real estate developers, etc, who could write big cheques and take it off the business. I was broke and starting out, I didn't feel comfortable.

I then joined Toastmasters International.You can check out their website. It does provide a very well developed program for people to improve public speaking skills, it is very supportive and friendly, networking for business is a no-no, thankfully. I was already comfortable giving speeches, but it is much more than that, with structured manuals if you have an interest in improving in a certain area, such as public relations, or media.

That said, I joined a lot of things in my early thirties, looking for a special lady. Church was the worst, the singles club of a very large community church was full of people with problems, I couldn't believe it. Toastmasters was young and older folks, but don't expect a social life from it. It turned out that the women I did meet in life and date were somehow selected by me with a spur of the moment bit of interest and courage.

For example, I was getting fitted for new glasses, and somehow decided to ask the optician out, and it worked out well for a couple of years. Similarly, I interviewed at a firm in another state, very briefly met a professional woman of the firm as I was leaving the building said hello, shook her hand.For some reason when I got back to my nearby home state I sent her a note. Great relationship for a few years.

So none of these social groups should be expected to result in a great date. Maybe, but stay in the group because you like the group. You will likely try and quit most groups, but be sure to attend for a few weeks before deciding. My first impressions were usually negative, and then a club can grow on you.

I don't know about the Commonwealth Club, but I know personally of a woman who joined the Metropolitan Club in S.F., she was really a golddigger, so watch out!! 8-)

P.S. I think the suggestion made earlier in the thread about joining or organizing a Bogleheads group is a great one. Probably would learn, but also might meet a special someone who has her own money to manage sensibly, not a wild spender, so you might have that in common to start.

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