Put Mom Up In Hotel?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
Locked
DomDangelina
Posts: 180
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:50 pm
Location: California refugee

Put Mom Up In Hotel?

Post by DomDangelina » Thu Aug 17, 2017 10:50 am

I hate self-deception. Thus I try to always be brutally honest with myself at all times, always trying to sweep away the clouds of error from my vision of the sun of truth.

In another thread I explained that I recently endured the barbarism of house guests behaving as barbarians (by never offering to pay for anything at all) and that I'll henceforth have nothing more to do with my former guests.

I now have another, related problem. My mother is soon coming to visit from another state. The issue now isn't that I want her to offer to pay for anything; it's simply that I don't like her. A horrible truth! But a truth it is. Consequently, I'd prefer to put her up at a nearby hotel rather than have her stay at my place. This will surely offend her.

Can you suggest ways of possibly not offending her? If not, I'm happy to accept that she just might have to be offended. Even more perversely, I'm sort of hoping that she'll get so offended that she decides not to visit at all. :twisted: Still, I'm open to suggestions.
"Often the remedy causes the disease. It is by no means the least of life's rules: to let things alone." | Baltasar Gracián, S.J., The Art of Worldly Wisdom, Maxim 121

General Disarray
Posts: 161
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 1:35 pm
Location: Body in the east coast, but heart in the west coast

Re: Put Mom Up In Hotel?

Post by General Disarray » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:00 am

Maybe just say something along the lines of, "I am in no position to host someone in my home right now, but still would still love to have you visit. I'd be happy to pay for your stay at [hotel]. The hotel will be far more comfortable than my home."

ResearchMed
Posts: 6057
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:25 pm

Re: Put Mom Up In Hotel?

Post by ResearchMed » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:03 am

DomDangelina wrote:
Thu Aug 17, 2017 10:50 am
I hate self-deception. Thus I try to always be brutally honest with myself at all times, always trying to sweep away the clouds of error from my vision of the sun of truth.

In another thread I explained that I recently endured the barbarism of house guests behaving as barbarians (by never offering to pay for anything at all) and that I'll henceforth have nothing more to do with my former guests.

I now have another, related problem. My mother is soon coming to visit from another state. The issue now isn't that I want her to offer to pay for anything; it's simply that I don't like her. A horrible truth! But a truth it is. Consequently, I'd prefer to put her up at a nearby hotel rather than have her stay at my place. This will surely offend her.

Can you suggest ways of possibly not offending her? If not, I'm happy to accept that she just might have to be offended. Even more perversely, I'm sort of hoping that she'll get so offended that she decides not to visit at all. :twisted: Still, I'm open to suggestions.
There may be no way to avoid offending her.

Just arrange the hotel, and let her know when you'll plan to get together.
You might want to tell her this in advance, so if it comes to that... she cancels her trip, rather than heading home in a rage.

We had this happen, but MIL was so outrageous when staying with us (twice; we gave her a second chance), that she was banned from our house.
But when she visited, we did put her up at a hotel.
That didn't last too long, as she was soon unable to deal with stairs.
We later moved her to a nearby assisted living facility, and since we still have the stairs... the issue of "visiting here" is a non-issue.

With my parents, we could deal with them here, but we could NOT stand staying with them.
So we started getting a hotel room very nearby.
Yes, that lead to the tears and anguish on their part, and we just held firm, saying that IF we were to visit, this is how it would be.
They never understood, as in "their generation", sibling families and cousins visited, and people slept on sofas, children on the floor, or two to a single bed.
I still remember (fondly, actually), sharing a large bed with a beloved grandmother. (I got a nice comfy bed, with nice hand-made quilts, by far a good deal in my young mind. She also gave me extra cookies at night :wink: )

But it was very different, by culture and by upbringing.
That can be difficult, or at a minimum, very awkward, to bridge.

Like I wrote above, "Fish and house guests smell after three days".
But in some cases, it can be the houseguests who aren't happy with the arrangements.
I suspect there are rare exceptions that would go more than a couple of days longer.

RM
This signature is a placebo. You are in the control group.

User avatar
prudent
Moderator
Posts: 5313
Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 2:50 pm

Re: Put Mom Up In Hotel?

Post by prudent » Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:09 am

Topic is locked (not a consumer issue).

Locked