How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

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Goal33
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Goal33 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:10 pm

If my future in-laws don't pay for it, they can consider themselves uninvited. :twisted:
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Tamarind
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Tamarind » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:12 pm

I'm planning my wedding and we set an estimated budget last year, saved for it in a taxable account, and now just need to pick a date and go ahead. I'd never dream of asking my parents for money for this, and similarly would not want them to pay and feel like they could dictate the event or guest list. This may be swayed by the fact that we're in our early 30s and already well accustomed to independence.

It's the first major item we saved for together, and as we're both Bogleheads that makes it way more romantic than any chocolate fountain could. :mrgreen: It's a point of pride that we can treat our nearest and dearest to a lovely party. We are expecting to spend just over $11k, most of that on catering as good food is important to us.

If the parents desperately want to make us a gift, they can always go in together on a stand mixer or some towels from the registry, I suppose. ;)

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Lieutenant.Columbo » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:18 pm

tx_hombre wrote:...How much are you planning ahead for the potential of a wedding?
zero
seity wrote:My kids are on their own for their wedding. It's a great life lesson to learn to budget and not waste money on things you don't need. We paid for our own wedding and would never have expected our parents to pay for any of it. If they wanted to help us out on our new life with a financial gift of some kind, it was entirely up to them.
alex_686 wrote:...my favorite weddings, including my own, were low key social events. I have pictures of my wife grilling up stakes on some portable grills on the church lawn. Everybody had a grand time and we were able to chat will all of the guests. I have been at weddings for 2,000 and seen the bride and groom for all of 30 seconds. Each to their own but I could not imagine spending 10k to 20k on a wedding.
DaftInvestor wrote:I'm paying fully for college (including Grad School for one). Weddings - maybe not at all. If they keep it under $5000 perhaps out of cash flow then the time comes. The prices people pay these days are ridiculous. A $5000 dress when you can find a nice $300 dress, etc.
remomnyc wrote:...We expect our kids to plan and pay for their own weddings, but we will give a cash gift.
munemaker wrote:we paid for our son's education, while bride's family did not; she brought student loans into the marriage where he did not.
mouses wrote:I have never understood why people pay gigantic amounts for a wedding. You could make a down payment on a house or build a nice emergency fund with the money thrown away on this. How about a potluck in someone's back yard or a local garden place that rents space.
these summarize my view
Last edited by Lieutenant.Columbo on Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:49 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Doom&Gloom
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Doom&Gloom » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:20 pm

By keeping it in perspective, managing DD's expectations, and DIY'ing as much as possible.

DD couldn't have been happier if 10X as much had been spent.

Achelois
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Achelois » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:37 pm

My husband and I paid for our wedding. It cost $50 for the JOP. That was in 1975, though, so it would be a bit more now.

If you want to give money for something, I encourage small wedding paid OOP and using any other money for house downpayment.

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Ged
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Ged » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:44 pm

The529guy wrote:Whenever I see sensational news stories about the "average" cost of a wedding in the U.S., I can't help but assume that the key driver is parents' desire to keep up with the Jones by having a "socially acceptable" level of extravagance per their friends and family.
I suspect that the average cost of a wedding is distorted by a long tail. I'd be much more interested in the median cost of a wedding.

Edit: In fact the average cost of a wedding appears to be almost TWICE the median cost.

https://www.theweddingreport.com/index. ... as__14_399
Last edited by Ged on Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Meaty
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Meaty » Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:46 pm

The529guy wrote:Encourage her to become well-educated so she and her spouse won't expect you to pay for it? (My wife and I paid for our own wedding.)
+1. I paid for my own
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by GoldenFinch » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:01 pm

jhfenton wrote:We will probably offer our kids a lump sum gift to spend on their wedding, honeymoon, or early nest egg as they see fit. (They're 13 and 14 now, so we have a while.) The amount will be whatever we can afford at the time.
That is what my parents did. They gave each kid (two girls and a boy) the same sized check. It was an amount that they could comfortably afford.

BigLaw Survivor
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by BigLaw Survivor » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:24 pm

We probably spent $120k to $150k on our three weddings combined. A lot of money, to be sure, but in the scheme of things no big deal. We certainly didn't do it to keep up with the Joneses. That was never our thing . . .

donall
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by donall » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:30 pm

Gave bride and groom a fixed amount. Money went to pay bride's student loans and a sweet intimate wedding planned by bride and groom.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by hulburt1 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:37 pm

denovo wrote:
hulburt1 wrote:Reno I pay
Not Vegas?
Live in Oregon it was closer.

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TxAg
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by TxAg » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:53 pm

The529guy wrote:Encourage her to become well-educated so she and her spouse won't expect you to pay for it? (My wife and I paid for our own wedding.)
First answer is the best answer

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scubadiver
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by scubadiver » Wed Jun 28, 2017 8:33 pm

My wife and I did not receive any financial support for our wedding. In all, we spent approximately $19K for the wedding, honeymoon, engagement ring and wedding bands. Ok, $19.3K if you count the $300 to replace the wedding band I lost scuba diving in Cancun (to-date, that remains the most expensive dive I have ever done :oops: )

My in-laws were gracious and gave us a generous contribution towards a downpayment on our first home. I can see us doing the same for our children when the time comes.

J295
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by J295 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 8:45 pm

Happily paid for wedding/reception. New in laws paid for flowers and rehearsal dinner. Paid out of cash portion of asset allocation.

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HomerJ
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by HomerJ » Wed Jun 28, 2017 8:55 pm

scubadiver wrote:Ok, $19.3K if you count the $300 to replace the wedding band I lost scuba diving in Cancun (to-date, that remains the most expensive dive I have ever done :oops: )
Heh, I lost my first wedding ring on our honeymoon snorkeling in Hawaii too...

Lost two more before my wife gave up on me (Well, she gave up on giving me rings... She still kept me so far) :)

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F150HD
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by F150HD » Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:27 pm

tx_hombre wrote:...But we are genuinely curious as to how those who have gone before us have handled the costs (regardless of the exact budget) of a wedding. How much are you planning ahead for the potential of a wedding?
This was on Shark Tank: https://www.cakerental.com/

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JDCarpenter
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by JDCarpenter » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:05 pm

HomerJ wrote:
scubadiver wrote:Ok, $19.3K if you count the $300 to replace the wedding band I lost scuba diving in Cancun (to-date, that remains the most expensive dive I have ever done :oops: )
Heh, I lost my first wedding ring on our honeymoon snorkeling in Hawaii too...

Lost two more before my wife gave up on me (Well, she gave up on giving me rings... She still kept me so far) :)
This is why DW leaves hers at home on dive trips. (Me, I have huge knuckles; once we managed to get it onto the finger in 1983, it has never been off. Will need to cut it to do so....)
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Hawaiishrimp
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Hawaiishrimp » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:38 pm

tx_hombre wrote:Our oldest child is still only 5, so we have plenty of time!

But we are genuinely curious as to how those who have gone before us have handled the costs (regardless of the exact budget) of a wedding.

Are you simply withdrawing from your taxable account? How much are you planning ahead for the potential of a wedding?


:confused You save for your child's wedding??? Uh no. Heck no. Absolutely no. They will be adults and should manage the cost themselves.
I save and invest my money, so money can make money for me, so I don't have to make money eventually.

maroon
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by maroon » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:59 pm

My parents contributed $500 toward my wedding; I doubt they gave much thought to handling the costs/planning ahead.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by JimD7 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 11:53 pm

I , fortunately , don't have to deal with it, but my suggestion is don't have a big wedding unless you have money to burn.

It's a scam foisted upon you by catering halls, limo drivers , and tux rental agencies.

wrongfunds
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by wrongfunds » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:13 am

The immigrant/ethnic circle that I am part of, the weddings are $100K-$250K multi-day extravaganza mostly paid by bride's family. I suspect the driving factors are the parents of the bride and the groom. This is *after* paying 100% of the undergraduate and graduate and law/medicine school for their children.

On the other hand, you are NOT paying for the wedding but rather paying for the MEMORIES of that wedding.

For example, from strictly monetary perspective, annual vacation budget could fund down payment on a nice condo but a typical BH has no trouble spending the money on the vacation. One has to look at the weddings similarly.

Well, that is what I will be telling myself while writing those obscene checks :-)

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by sawhorse » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:18 am

wrongfunds wrote:The immigrant/ethnic circle that I am part of, the weddings are $100K-$250K multi-day extravaganza mostly paid by bride's family. I suspect the driving factors are the parents of the bride and the groom.
It is important to remember the cultural differences in weddings. In some cultures, weddings are not about the bride/groom as much as they are about the families and the parents' social circles.

rashad3000
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by rashad3000 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:50 am

Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?

btenny
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by btenny » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:52 am

We helped both kids through college with no debt. Then DS got married (13 years ago) in a big church wedding and dinner party reception, etc.. I paid $4K or so for a nice rehearsal dinner and party for 40 or so the day before. The brides' Dad paid for the wedding and reception, etc.. When my DD got married 3 years ago I set a $20K limit for everything and let her do the planning and buying and everything. We all traveled to San Diego for a beach wedding. It was a great wedding and party. DD loved it and so did my wife and I.

So it varies in our case. Both kids had nice weddings and receptions with the brides father paying most of the bill. When I retired way back when both my kids were in college I planned these expenses into our budget. So I was happy with the results and costs.

Good Luck.

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ruralavalon
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by ruralavalon » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:56 am

tx_hombre wrote:Our oldest child is still only 5, so we have plenty of time!

But we are genuinely curious as to how those who have gone before us have handled the costs (regardless of the exact budget) of a wedding.

Are you simply withdrawing from your taxable account? How much are you planning ahead for the potential of a wedding?
We paid for the weddings all of our daughters out of income, with no withdrawals from any retirement or investing accounts. Our costs were fairly average, $10-25k each.
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by stoptothink » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:00 pm

rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Only in the alternate world of Bogleheads. In the real world, I'm sure most parents would love to, but they simply can't.

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ruralavalon
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by ruralavalon » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:03 pm

rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Yes.
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:13 pm

ruralavalon wrote:
rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Yes.
I didn't expect it - because at rate I was going, I'd never get married. As my mother put it when I announced someone decided to take me in :o ; "I thought you'd never get married". :shock: (such optimism!). Anyway, they chipped in $12K, my in-laws matched, wife and I paid for rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, photographer and band. And that was keeping it modest in the NYC area. No way was I/we going to go into hock to blow $100K+ on a 4-5 hour affair. I paid for engagement ring. So, planning to do the same for my kid - saving for it, one pickle at a time.
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AmericaFirst
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by AmericaFirst » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:21 pm

rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Paying for kids fancy daycares, private schools, college costs, house down payments, wedding costs, etc. No wonder folks on here think $1+ million is insufficient for retirement.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by munemaker » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:23 pm

rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
I think that in both cases, it depends on your family traditions.

Paying for your daughter's wedding is not a new or novel concept. It goes back to biblical times. Seems pretty common in my circle of family and friends, although certainly not universal. I am somewhat surprised people on this thread are not familiar with it.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by rashad3000 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:34 pm

AmericaFirst wrote:
rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Paying for kids fancy daycares, private schools, college costs, house down payments, wedding costs, etc. No wonder folks on here think $1+ million is insufficient for retirement.
WOW.

I can certainly see helping pay for certain things for your children. The fact that some things are expected just boggles my mind. I know people who do stupid things like cashing out retirement and going broke to pay for college. So now you are looking at possibly being a burden to your kids when they are older because you are broke.

We have 2 sons and a daughter. We will contribute some money for weddings. Maybe I will tell her I'll give her $5000 for a destination wedding or something. But to me, weddings are the most overhyped things around. My in-laws just hit around 36 years of marriage. They really are happy together. They don't wear rings and they were married in the courthouse.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by dbr » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:39 pm

rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
Probably around the world, over time, in most cultures that is the standard expectation. I am sure it is not universal. I am a little bit stymied at thinking of a good example where this is not the case as a tradition. Weddings in many cases have everything to do with the family's social and political position and little to do with the married couple per se. People do elope, pay for their own weddings or find very low cost ways to celebrate, but there are few cases where parents don't try to help out. The costs some people are willing to sustain for weddings seem to be insane, but that is not everyone.

As far as college, families with low income probably can't pay college costs. Those students go to very economical colleges such as community colleges or are able to benefit from scholarships and perhaps loans. College costs can be insane as well.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:45 pm

dbr wrote:
rashad3000 wrote:Let me get this right. Parents are expected to pay for college and for weddings for their children?
As far as college, families with low income probably can't pay college costs. Those students go to very economical colleges such as community colleges or are able to benefit from scholarships and perhaps loans. College costs can be insane as well.
I went to local poor man's senior college - no 4 year party here! :oops: Debt is a four-letter word not taken lightly.
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expat
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by expat » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:45 pm

Get married at city hall.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by rjbraun » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:55 pm

JDCarpenter wrote:We have three sons, two of whom got married this year.

Eldest and his wife are bay area engineers and footing the bill for their several geographically dispersed celebrations.

Youngest one's wife's family picked up what, to us, seemed to be a pricey, small wedding. (We did buy dinner for the six of us at a michelin 3 star the night before though.)

Middle one and his s.o./wife/GF probably aren't going to get legally married, unless tax penalty decreases. (Ironically, he is tax lawyer.)

In each case, we gifted 5K to the couple to use as they see fit. (Still need to deliver to middle one....)

If we had a daughter, that same amount would have been gifted.
I'm not a tax lawyer, I'm not even good at taxes, but by being unmarried but in a committed relationship, doesn't that mean that if one person dies, the other is at risk of, at best, only receiving the estate but only on an after-tax basis? In other words, a person is worth, say, $1 million and has left that money to his or her partner in a will. Even if that will is uncontested, doesn't the surviving partner only receive the after-tax value of $1 million? Or maybe the after-tax value of $1 million less the $20k annual gift exclusion?

I realize that your middle son is relatively young and may not contemplate death, etc., so I guess I'm asking this question more generally (or perhaps DS figures the likelihood of his death is small relative to the tax penalty he feels he faces today and for the foreseeable future).

Sorry, I realize this is OT

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by marti038 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:57 pm

HomerJ wrote:I will pay for it out of my checking account. I will offer a set amount, and whatever they don't spend they can keep.
My father-in-law made this offer to my wife after we got engaged. I tried to convince her to take it easy on the budget so we'd have some extra cash after we got hitched.

She spent all of it and then a little more out of her own savings. We are still very happily married in no small part because I learned during engagement that I should take the lead on finances.

It was a lovely ceremony too.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by ikowik » Thu Jun 29, 2017 12:58 pm

We paid- for my daughter's wedding and education. We set a budget, told my daughter and son-in-law they could use it all for the wedding or leave some for honeymoon and other expenses. My daughter's in-laws pitched in for 20% of the total budget, that was an unexpected bonus, we did not pass that on to the kids! Between the kids and my wife, total expenses came just under budget.
As other posters have commented, this would not be considered unusual in the culture we grew up in.
Our (mine and DW's) parents paid for our education and our low-budget wedding too.

We had the money and can't think of a better way to spend it. Since daughter has no student loans she has been able to make sound career moves without constantly worrying about implications for loan payments. It has not hindered her development as a financially responsible adult.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Sandtrap » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:28 pm

they both saved up for it :D

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by Sandtrap » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:30 pm

Both son n daughter in law saved and paid for what they wanted :D

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by jharkin » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:41 pm

Our parents didn't give us a dime - my wife and I paid for it all ourselves (got married around 30). I wonder if as people get married later and later in life the practice of Daddy paying for it all will die out?

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by flamesabers » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:57 pm

The529guy wrote:Encourage her to become well-educated so she and her spouse won't expect you to pay for it? (My wife and I paid for our own wedding.)
I fully agree. If a couple can't afford the wedding they want, I think they should either go for a cheaper wedding or hold off on getting married until they can afford the wedding of their dreams.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by taguscove » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:59 pm

I'm not the parent, but getting married in a month.

Parents in-law are paying for the wedding, our parents the rehearsal dinner, and we're paying for breakfast the following day. I would have preferred a low key wedding, but in-law parents wanted something grand. The per-person cost is now at $750. It makes me mildly ill to think that the wedding will cost 6 figures.

I'm still reeling from the sequence of events, but the complication of multiple stakeholders was my main surprise. At every turn, the decision was for the broader, more expensive choice. As a financially frugal couple, I don't know how we ended up with this :confused.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by stoptothink » Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:12 pm

taguscove wrote:I'm not the parent, but getting married in a month.

Parents in-law are paying for the wedding, our parents the rehearsal dinner, and we're paying for breakfast the following day. I would have preferred a low key wedding, but in-law parents wanted something grand. The per-person cost is now at $750. It makes me mildly ill to think that the wedding will cost 6 figures.

I'm still reeling from the sequence of events, but the complication of multiple stakeholders was my main surprise. At every turn, the decision was for the broader, more expensive choice. As a financially frugal couple, I don't know how we ended up with this :confused.

:shock:

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by mac808 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:31 pm

rjbraun wrote:
JDCarpenter wrote:We have three sons, two of whom got married this year.

Eldest and his wife are bay area engineers and footing the bill for their several geographically dispersed celebrations.

Youngest one's wife's family picked up what, to us, seemed to be a pricey, small wedding. (We did buy dinner for the six of us at a michelin 3 star the night before though.)

Middle one and his s.o./wife/GF probably aren't going to get legally married, unless tax penalty decreases. (Ironically, he is tax lawyer.)

In each case, we gifted 5K to the couple to use as they see fit. (Still need to deliver to middle one....)

If we had a daughter, that same amount would have been gifted.
I'm not a tax lawyer, I'm not even good at taxes, but by being unmarried but in a committed relationship, doesn't that mean that if one person dies, the other is at risk of, at best, only receiving the estate but only on an after-tax basis? In other words, a person is worth, say, $1 million and has left that money to his or her partner in a will. Even if that will is uncontested, doesn't the surviving partner only receive the after-tax value of $1 million? Or maybe the after-tax value of $1 million less the $20k annual gift exclusion?

I realize that your middle son is relatively young and may not contemplate death, etc., so I guess I'm asking this question more generally (or perhaps DS figures the likelihood of his death is small relative to the tax penalty he feels he faces today and for the foreseeable future).

Sorry, I realize this is OT
Lifetime estate exemption is over $5 million.

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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by SRenaeP » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:35 pm

flamesabers wrote:
The529guy wrote:Encourage her to become well-educated so she and her spouse won't expect you to pay for it? (My wife and I paid for our own wedding.)
I fully agree. If a couple can't afford the wedding they want, I think they should either go for a cheaper wedding or hold off on getting married until they can afford the wedding of their dreams.
In my case, as the 'child', now-DH and I decided on a small destination wedding. We intended to pay for our parents and siblings and combine with our honeymoon and stay within a $5000 budget for the whole thing. We didn't ask or expect either parents to pay as we were early 30s and established. Much to my surprise, the parents had a fit. They're more traditional and wanted a wedding that all the family and friends could attend. We put our foot down about spending more than $5000 so they offered to contribute the difference. We agreed, in the interest of family harmony, but we did put our foot down at my MIL's massive guest list. We ended up with ~150 people at a formal ceremony and formal sit down dinner reception. In the end, I think my dad ended up paying 40%, we paid 40% and my in laws paid 10% plus the bar tab.

-Steph

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FraggleRock
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relatively cheaply

Post by FraggleRock » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:37 pm

Gave her $5K.
Said: the rest is up to you.
Told her not to spend too much on her first marriage.

MikeG62
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by MikeG62 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:41 pm

hirlaw wrote:When our daughter was in college, I started a separate account that I actually called "___'s Wedding Account." I initially funded it with $25k and periodically added to it. When she married last summer, about 5 years after graduation, it had about $50k in it. This covered a good chunk of the wedding costs (about 50%).

My goal was not to fund the whole wedding with the fund, but to have a nice sum tucked away so I didn't have to come up with the entire amount come wedding time. Also, I excluded that account when I did my asset allocations. I knew it would be spent one day.

It was worth every penny! :beer
+1, I did precisely the same thing with roughly the same $ amounts. I did it for both my daughters. Neither of my daughters are married yet, so accounts continue to grow. My hope is it will be sufficient to cover the entire cost, but if not they will need to fund the excess. We will see how that goes over with the DW when the time comes.

Doom&Gloom
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Re: relatively cheaply

Post by Doom&Gloom » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:46 pm

FraggleRock wrote:Gave her $5K.
Said: the rest is up to you.
Told her not to spend too much on her first marriage.
LOL!

:oops:

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1210sda
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by 1210sda » Thu Jun 29, 2017 4:12 pm

taguscove wrote: It makes me mildly ill to think that the wedding will cost 6 figures.
I agree, except that it makes me VERY ill.

1210

rjbraun
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Re: How did you handle the costs of your child's wedding?

Post by rjbraun » Thu Jun 29, 2017 4:29 pm

SRenaeP wrote:
flamesabers wrote:
The529guy wrote:Encourage her to become well-educated so she and her spouse won't expect you to pay for it? (My wife and I paid for our own wedding.)
I fully agree. If a couple can't afford the wedding they want, I think they should either go for a cheaper wedding or hold off on getting married until they can afford the wedding of their dreams.
In my case, as the 'child', now-DH and I decided on a small destination wedding. We intended to pay for our parents and siblings and combine with our honeymoon and stay within a $5000 budget for the whole thing. We didn't ask or expect either parents to pay as we were early 30s and established. Much to my surprise, the parents had a fit. They're more traditional and wanted a wedding that all the family and friends could attend. We put our foot down about spending more than $5000 so they offered to contribute the difference. We agreed, in the interest of family harmony, but we did put our foot down at my MIL's massive guest list. We ended up with ~150 people at a formal ceremony and formal sit down dinner reception. In the end, I think my dad ended up paying 40%, we paid 40% and my in laws paid 10% plus the bar tab.

-Steph
Inviting (paying for) your parents and siblings is very classy, imo. To be able to cover travel, lodging, meals and and the honeymoon, all for $5000 is impressive indeed!

Interesting thread, I'm enjoying learning about the myriad of ways people marry.

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