Kosmo wrote:A vasectomy.
Kosmo wrote:A vasectomy.
objectivefunction wrote:Grt2bOutdoors wrote:When does material gifts have to signify that? Appreciating someone can be expressed in many ways and everyday without need for material gifts or occassion.
Sorry, I may have come across as too interested in a material gift. I don't think it has to be material. Should I write her a poem?
Childbirth is both frightening and beautiful, and I remember especially (for some reason) after #4 was born just feeling so proud of my wife. I want to show that materially or immaterially and celebrate that this is the end of childbearing for us.
objectivefunction wrote:Very soon my wife is having our 5th (and very probably last) child.
She is a SAHM, and you would be correct in believing that she is a friggin super hero! In other countries she would receive a medal and the thanks of her government (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9da ... %C3%A7aise). I actually thought it would be fun to make up a medal for her.
There is a local winery that makes a wine she really enjoys, and she has mentioned I should get it for her. It's $80, but it doesn't feel like enough. Though I'm not necessarily looking to buy her a Lexus or anything.
Any particularly fun or meaningful push gifts that bogleheads have given or received?
Meg77 wrote:I think this is a sweet gesture and a wonderful idea, and I'm a bit surprised at the backlash and implied eye rolls. Gifts are not mandatory for any occasion, including birthdays and anniversaries, but they are generally appreciated as any wife can tell you.
You middle aged men may cringe at the term "push present," but as a wife of child-bearing age I can attest that this would be a welcome and meaningful gesture (one I have heard of others receiving). Helping out with the dishes and diapers while her body recovers from this massive physical and emotional trauma is what is known as a given, a basic expectation, and frankly a parental obligation - not a gift or special favor.
And obviously the child is a gift, but imagine showing up at a birthday and telling your wife, "Congratulations, your real gift is that you're still alive; it would be comparatively meaningless for me to try to mark this occasion with a material object." Or worse, at a major anniversary, "Congratulations that I'm still married to you; obviously that is all the gift you could ever want." Possibly true, but also probably not quite as true after being articulated so crudely.
--A bracelet with five stones, one for each of the birthstones of each of the children (possibly seven stones, two of which are larger and represent the two of you). Birthstones are fairly inexpensive, especially for small stones.
--Diamond earrings - a basic pair don't have to be extraordinarily expensive
--A necklace or any piece of jewelry you think she'd like that is a bit more special (nicer, more expensive) than most of what she already owns.
--A gift card to a local spa
This is in addition to having her favorite bottle of wine and a nice card on the table when she comes home from the hospital. Which is very thoughtful.
Any of you who think these material gifts are unnecessary or excessive may prefer to frame them in terms of a relatively low cost investment in a relationship with a high liklihood for long-lasting reward and very, very little risk.
virgingorda wrote:Can someone provide a recent history of push gifts? This was definitely not a "thing" 15-20 years ago. How recent is this tradition?
celia wrote:SKIP THE WINE if she will be nursing!
That is mean to give someone a gift that she can't use. It will likely be "gone" before she is able to drink.
Grt2bOutdoors wrote:virgingorda wrote:Can someone provide a recent history of push gifts? This was definitely not a "thing" 15-20 years ago. How recent is this tradition?
I've been on the forum a long time, this is the first post I've seen with such a term.
parvo19 wrote:Get her a gym or yoga studio membership. She'll lose the baby weight faster.
kramer wrote:What is a "push gift"? I have never heard that term.
Grt2bOutdoors wrote:kramer wrote:What is a "push gift"? I have never heard that term.
An expectation of a material gift when the real gift is that which you delivered.
tsutsugamushi wrote:Mother and very-pregnant woman here. I won't violate forum rules with medical discussion, but breastfeeding does NOT mean months without alcohol (whereas pregnancy arguably does). I don't expect a gift from my husband when next baby arrives, but if he were to get me something, lots of my favorite wine is exactly what I would want (and what I plan to buy for myself).
objectivefunction wrote:#5 was born early Wednesday morning. My wife did amazingly, and delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl.
I opted to get her the bottle of wine, which was only $36. I'm not sure why I thought it was $80 maybe that was a different year. I think when they get close to running out of a particular year the price goes up. Anyway, I still want to give her some motherhood award.
new2bogle wrote:Rupert wrote:Can we please just stop using the term "push gift"? It's cringe-worthy. That's what inspired the aggressive responses. If you want to give her a gift, fine.
But that term, push gift, is all the rage these days. I very aggressively did NOT get my wife a push gift as the term is just stupid and I could not wrap my head around it. It really came into prominence the last few years, as I don't remember hearing about it for the birth of my first kid. Materialism at its best!
Kosmo wrote:A vasectomy.
Meg77 wrote:You middle aged men may cringe at the term "push present," but as a wife of child-bearing age I can attest that this would be a welcome and meaningful gesture (one I have heard of others receiving). Helping out with the dishes and diapers while her body recovers from this massive physical and emotional trauma is what is known as a given, a basic expectation, and frankly a parental obligation - not a gift or special favor.