How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
Locked
Topic Author
sksbog
Posts: 337
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:14 pm

How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by sksbog »

Hello Bogleheads,

Few months back, actually, its around Thanksgiving last year, I helped a director from a different business unit, a few grades above me.
TO help her with team related issues, I helped her with ideas on solutions and also lent her a really nice book for her to read.
Since, then I met her couple of times and causally asked her if she read the book, but she always says no.

The book is not costly, but a really nice book I like to keep.

I have two options.

1. Suck it up and buy another one, a used one from amazon will cost 7-9 bucks.
2. Ask her nicely to return the book. Not sure how to do that :(

She sees me once in a week in office but seems to have forgotten to return my book.


What should I do?

:x
Vanguard Fan 1367
Posts: 1820
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2017 3:09 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Vanguard Fan 1367 »

I have lent things like books or tapes or other things and some folks just aren't into returning them. You can try asking nicely again. I like the 7 to 9 buck Amazon approach if your asking doesn't work.

I like the definition of tact: telling someone to go to hell and making them look forward to the trip. Hopefully you can ask tactfully. :happy
Upton Sinclair: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
User avatar
StevieG72
Posts: 1172
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:00 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by StevieG72 »

#1

Sometimes you just have to let it go...
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
sport
Posts: 9636
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:26 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by sport »

Tell her the book was a gift from your favorite aunt, you have a sentimental attachment to it, and you miss seeing it on your bookshelf.
tim1999
Posts: 3745
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:16 am

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by tim1999 »

Suck it up and buy a new one. Not worth arguing with someone several paygrades above you for $5-$10.
User avatar
Doom&Gloom
Posts: 3620
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:36 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Doom&Gloom »

#1

It's only $7-9
Don't lend items that you absolutely can not bear not to have returned.
User avatar
ResearchMed
Posts: 10764
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:25 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by ResearchMed »

Absolutely just buy yourself a new one.

You've mentioned the book a few times, and it still isn't returned.
Let's assume that someone higher in rank than you (and apparently more than one level) is at least vaguely perceptive.
That is, she knows you lent her the book - or is there a possibility that she *thought* you were giving it to her?

If the latter, she isn't giving it back.
If the former, well... either she just doesn't return things, she truly is waiting to read it before returning it (less likely as time goes on), or... perhaps she misplaced it.
In that case, it will be very awkward for you to seemingly insist that she return it.

Especially because of the low price and (hopefully?) minimal inconvenience... get another one for yourself.
And if it's something you are likely to loan out again at work, get an extra :wink:

Unfortunatly, it's just not worth that small amount of money to risk an awkward or difficult encounter (or possible confrontation) by asking directly for it given that you *can* replace it.

Let her continue to think favorably about you and your thoughtful "gift".

RM
This signature is a placebo. You are in the control group.
mouses
Posts: 4217
Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2015 12:24 am

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by mouses »

Ask for it back, politely. "That book I lent to you" in case she thinks it was a gift. If necessary, make up a story about some attachment to it.

i say this because people not returning items lent to them is one of my hot buttons. It is really rude.
User avatar
sunnywindy
Posts: 453
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 4:42 pm
Location: Wilmington, NC

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by sunnywindy »

Just ask her that you would like the book back. If you never ask, you might never get it back (although if she ever reads it she might give it back after finishing it).

(I think the answers saying you should automatically just buy another copy or even lie(!) are crazy.)
Last edited by sunnywindy on Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Powered by chocolate!
davebo
Posts: 928
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:02 am

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by davebo »

I think it'd be a little weird for you to ask the book back to be honest. When people volunteer books like "Hey, you should really read this book, here it is", I think you have to give them a bit of time to actually read it. Realistically, she probably never will read the book and hopefully she remembers to return it, but if not I'd just chalk it up to a lesson learned and buy a new book.

There is a running joke in my office about a book that someone has lent out to quite a few people. It's an enormous book and anytime someone comments on the book on his desk, he lends it to them. I personally had the book for 2 years and never read it. After I gave it back to him, he lent it out to 3-4 other people who kept it awhile and never read it. Realistically, it's probably a pretty good book but I wouldn't bother lending out books unless someone specifically asks you to borrow it....only then will they probably read it.
an_asker
Posts: 2742
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:15 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by an_asker »

StevieG72 wrote:#1

Sometimes you just have to let it go...
+1! Been there, learned that lesson. At < $10, this is one of the least expensive "Boglehead lesson" to learn :oops:
livesoft
Posts: 73472
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 8:00 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by livesoft »

I'm amused that the OP has elevated the director to some special position and seems to be afraid to directly ask the person about the book again. I suspect the person lost the book, maybe left it on an airplane, or lent it to another colleague. Or maybe coffee or wine was spilled all over it.

In this case, the OP should forgive the person and just let her know that they are going to buy the book again for themselves. If the director is a fine upstanding person they would immediately apologize and pay for the new book ... but you have to give them an easy opportunity to pay for the book.
Wiki This signature message sponsored by sscritic: Learn to fish.
TravelGeek
Posts: 3835
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2014 3:23 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by TravelGeek »

Print up a late notice from the "Library of sksbog" and send it via intraoffice mail :)

Or just buy a new copy. I personally would go with that option.
123
Posts: 6513
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:55 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by 123 »

Do you have an expense account? Perhaps you can expense the cost of the book you added to to the company library by lending it to the director.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
an_asker
Posts: 2742
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:15 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by an_asker »

livesoft wrote:I'm amused that the OP has elevated the director to some special position and seems to be afraid to directly ask the person about the book again. I suspect the person lost the book, maybe left it on an airplane, or lent it to another colleague. Or maybe coffee or wine was spilled all over it.

In this case, the OP should forgive the person and just let her know that they are going to buy the book again for themselves. If the director is a fine upstanding person they would immediately apologize and pay for the new book ... but you have to give them an easy opportunity to pay for the book.
livesoft:

Folks who have responded like you did apparently have had either very good bosses/higher level acquaintances or you yourselves are those good bosses/higher level folks! I have never had good fortune with stuff lent to others. Folks just don't have the same responsibility with stuff borrowed from others, especially when those others are at a "lower status/rank". If you ask for it, more likely than owning up and returning it, they are prone to pointing out how cheap you are in asking for it back. Or maybe it's just my luck, and most folks are like the ones you've encountered!
User avatar
Sandtrap
Posts: 11852
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:32 pm
Location: Hawaii No Ka Oi , N. Arizona

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Sandtrap »

Buy a new one. Consider it a revealing test of character and where you stand on her list of concerns. Thereafter never lend anything with the expectation of return. Consider it an inexpensive life lesson.
Wiki Bogleheads Wiki: Everything You Need to Know
User avatar
ClevrChico
Posts: 1799
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:24 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by ClevrChico »

Absolutely don't bring it up again and consider it a gift. Pestering a director about a book you may have forced on them is a sure way to burn a bridge. :-)
Dick D
Posts: 178
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:55 am
Location: North Carolina

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Dick D »

You are wasting your time on trivia. Move on.
User avatar
LiveSimple
Posts: 1791
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:55 am

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by LiveSimple »

Walk with her to her cube and pick up the book and say " I wanted to refresh my thoughts"
Dottie57
Posts: 9309
Joined: Thu May 19, 2016 5:43 pm
Location: Earth Northern Hemisphere

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Dottie57 »

sksbog wrote:Hello Bogleheads,

Few months back, actually, its around Thanksgiving last year, I helped a director from a different business unit, a few grades above me.
TO help her with team related issues, I helped her with ideas on solutions and also lent her a really nice book for her to read.
Since, then I met her couple of times and causally asked her if she read the book, but she always says no.

The book is not costly, but a really nice book I like to keep.

I have two options.

1. Suck it up and buy another one, a used one from amazon will cost 7-9 bucks.
2. Ask her nicely to return the book. Not sure how to do that :(

She sees me once in a week in office but seems to have forgotten to return my book.


What should I do?

:x

Ask her if she is done with it and that you would like to loan it to a friend different friend.
Billionaire
Posts: 339
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:05 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Billionaire »

Eight years ago I lent a new co-worker a travel book on Italy. After her trip I casually asked for it back. Nothing. As the months and years progressed I realized what an unorganized mess she is, both at work and at home and understood why I was never getting the book back. She occasionally asks for a $1.00 for a vending machine and doesn't pay that back either. Now I just tell her I have no change. Oh, and every year without fail on April 15 is the mad dash to get her taxes filed. She's on the phone with her accountant, her husband, her gardener, you name it, trying to get all the forms together.
User avatar
nisiprius
Advisory Board
Posts: 42189
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 9:33 am
Location: The terrestrial, globular, planetary hunk of matter, flattened at the poles, is my abode.--O. Henry

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by nisiprius »

Any time I "lend" a book I figure there is about a 50% chance of getting it back. I'd just shrug it off.

There is a difficult situation, though, where I've been the borrower. That comes when someone lends you a book and is very insistent that it's wonderful and that you need to read it, and perhaps says "no hurry about returning it." And you keep thinking yeah, it sort of looks interesting, you really ought to read it, but somehow there's always something more interesting to read... or you read the first two chapters and they don't grab you.

Anyway, the book sits there, and you keep thinking "I should return it," but you don't want to hurt the lender's feelings by returning it unread. You're afraid they'll ask how you liked it, and if you say you liked it they will want to discuss it, and if you say you didn't like it or were too busy to read it, it will hurt their feelings. So you say to yourself "I'll just make time to read it quickly first before I return it." And then you don't. The longer it gets, the worse the problem is, because you can't say "In five years and just never had time to read it."

I have, yes, personally had books for more than five years, people I've borrowed them from have changed jobs or moved... and eventually I've just mailed them back. And then usually they say "I'd forgotten you had it."

I've never known how to resolve the situation. If you do decide to raise the topic with the director, though, make it clear that its OK for them to return it unread! That is, try to say something to let them off the "I-have-to-read-it-before-I-return-it" hook.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
docbrown
Posts: 107
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:37 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by docbrown »

Are you going to let her walk all over you because of her position? It's your property and you have every right to expect it to be returned. This is a tiny but telling example of how organizing people into hierarchical groups is poisonous. The alphas get away with stuff both minor and major because those below them just want to keep their jobs and are cowed into silence. If you get fired for asserting yourself, count yourself lucky that you no longer work in such a terrible place.
Roth was a Senator, not an acronym. Please, stop writing it in all caps.
alwayshedge
Posts: 218
Joined: Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:43 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by alwayshedge »

I've lent books to co-workers on 3 different occasions. On all 3 occasions, I never received the book back.
Mike Scott
Posts: 1461
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:45 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Mike Scott »

I don't loan things like books etc to people (with some exceptions inside the family). I do give gifts of these things on occasion and if it does come back I can give it again.
Volkdancer
Posts: 137
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:37 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Volkdancer »

From your description, she did not ask for the book. You gave it to her. Re-examine the situation in which you said that you helped her and whether you volunteered to help, whether it was within your job responsibilities, or whether you helped because you thought that she needed help. Did she really need your help or was it just that you thought that she did. Being in a higher position suggests that she earned that position by solving problems. It is possible that your offering the book might have been seen as a token gesture on your part suggesting that you did not think she was able to resolve the situation on her own.

Karl V
aude
Posts: 271
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:06 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by aude »

Buy one. You can't get in the weeds like this. A few days ago I offered 90 minutes of free help to a less fortunate person in the middle of a very busy day, only to have him waste 45 minutes of the allotted time looking for the best deal on parking nearby. This kind of thinking will hold you back.
User avatar
8foot7
Posts: 2371
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2015 7:29 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by 8foot7 »

You should have bought the director the book in the first place. Let it go now.
Lillibelle
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2016 5:53 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Lillibelle »

Definitely let it go, lest you appear the lesser.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend . . . "


~ Shakespearean wisdom
Frisco Kid
Posts: 410
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2014 6:18 pm
Location: San Francisco Peninsula

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Frisco Kid »

+1 for #1 and buy another copy. You reached out and offered help plus followed up. Can't really do any more, would also not bring it up again.
fm3040
Posts: 100
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:07 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by fm3040 »

#1 -- Let it go and buy yourself a copy.

No need to ever ask her again if she read the book.
AZAttorney11
Posts: 777
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:12 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by AZAttorney11 »

Buy another copy of the book. Don't unintentionally create tension over $7-9. For perspective, I made a $100 bet with the spouse of the company COO and won, but he hasn't brought it up (he may have forgotten, or been drunk, who knows), and I'm certainly not going to go to the COO and say your husband owes me $100. Let it go.
10YearPlan
Posts: 260
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2015 2:58 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by 10YearPlan »

I think the answer depends on the context under which the book was borrowed.

If she asked for the book, because she was genuinely interested in the subject matter, with a promise to read, then I'd be inclined to ask for it back, politely. If you offered the book, or insisted that she read it, then I'd be inclined to let it go, possibly forever.

I have had people give me books and videos in the past, insisting that I read them. Often, these items go to the bottom of my priority list, simply because it was not something I had initiated or planned. When asked whether I've read/viewed, I am always honest if the answer is no, and it would feel rude to just give it back in a way, if I had not yet read/viewed. This happens to me strangely often. People know I am a book nut, and they just hand them over, saying "you have to read this", sometimes despite protestations. If/when they ask for it back, I am happy to oblige, but it has created a few awkward moments.
User avatar
Midpack
Posts: 729
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:34 am
Location: Chicagoland

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Midpack »

AZAttorney11 wrote:Buy another copy of the book. Don't unintentionally create tension over $7-9. Let it go.
+1. If it wasn't tied to work, might be no harm in persisting, but it IS work related. You've given her several opportunities to return the book. It's not worth confronting her over $7-9. Buy another, and you know not to lend her anything again. Cheap lesson.
You only live once...
User avatar
Wildebeest
Posts: 1204
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:36 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Wildebeest »

sksbog wrote:Hello Bogleheads,

Few months back, actually, its around Thanksgiving last year, I helped a director from a different business unit, a few grades above me.
TO help her with team related issues, I helped her with ideas on solutions and also lent her a really nice book for her to read.
Since, then I met her couple of times and causally asked her if she read the book, but she always says no.

The book is not costly, but a really nice book I like to keep.

I have two options.

1. Suck it up and buy another one, a used one from amazon will cost 7-9 bucks.
2. Ask her nicely to return the book. Not sure how to do that :(

She sees me once in a week in office but seems to have forgotten to return my book.


What should I do?

:x

For me I would not give it another thought and buy another book.

I would not considering it "sucking it up", but see it as changing times, different cultures. I hold books in high regard and if somebody lends you a book, it is on you to be gracious about it and return it within the month. Just because I feel that way, does not mean that other people are bound by the same rules and other then the public library there is no book lending police. ( I am ashamed to admit that it took me years to return a book or even worse I would forgot about it all together and now I do not borrow books anymore even if proffered).

It would be a great skill to feel the accomplishment of being able to ask anyone to nicely to return the book, but especially a director. This would be a great arrow in your quiver to negotiate the landscape of your workplace. And that may leave you feel better.
The Golden Rule: One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.
walnut
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:40 am

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by walnut »

Someone once gave me a book and I found out many years later that he considered it a loan and held a grudge about it. He passed away before I could correct the situation. You might consider this possibility in trying to resolve this.
livesoft
Posts: 73472
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2007 8:00 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by livesoft »

This thread has been an eye opener for me. I would never consider not asking for a book or something else back if I had loaned it. It wouldn't matter who I loaned it to and I have loaned a lot of things out to folks. I would consider a director or even CEO or one of the folks in the machine shop or the custodian of the building to be no different than loaning to my friend or next-door neighbor or even my not-next-door neighbor.

And indeed, I've loaned out things like crutches, bike rollers, books, cryo-cuffs, tripods, lawn mowers, shovels, camping equipment ... up and down to all my colleagues and friends and will continue to do so. I have never been afraid of asking for them back. People are absent-minded and forget. That doesn't bother me.
Wiki This signature message sponsored by sscritic: Learn to fish.
User avatar
Wildebeest
Posts: 1204
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2013 2:36 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Wildebeest »

livesoft wrote:This thread has been an eye opener for me. I would never consider not asking for a book or something else back if I had loaned it. It wouldn't matter who I loaned it to and I have loaned a lot of things out to folks. I would consider a director or even CEO or one of the folks in the machine shop or the custodian of the building to be no different than loaning to my friend or next-door neighbor or even my not-next-door neighbor.

And indeed, I've loaned out things like crutches, bike rollers, books, cryo-cuffs, tripods, lawn mowers, shovels ... up and down to all my colleagues and friends and will continue to do so. I have never been afraid of asking for them back. People are absent-minded and forget. That's doesn't bother me.
There are many books I have lent, I am fine with that they found another home. I also do not have a problem for asking to get things back after I lend them out ( I often forget who I have lent stuff to). I also do not mind if they do not return them after I ask for the return. I just make a mental note to only "lend" gifts to that person if I feel generous.

I just do not want to be on the receiving end and be "the borrower in default".

I liked the question posed by the OP as in the binary 1 or 2 options and the quandary it left him in. This clearly touched a nerve with other posters as well and I enjoyed the range of replies.
The Golden Rule: One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.
NotWhoYouThink
Posts: 3205
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2014 4:19 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by NotWhoYouThink »

There's what you have a right to do, and there's what will help your career.

You loaned the book, you did not intend it as a gift, but I don't know exactly what you think you said or what she thought she heard. My guess is that she either considers the book hers, to read or throw away as she chooses, or else she has forgotten about it.

You can ask for it once, and if she is a nicer person than I think she won't mind. You may or may not get it back.

If you ask more than once, you are a pest. Maybe you already are. Not your fault, you did nothing wrong, but in the corporate world a pest is a pest, and the impression will be lasting. Decide whether it will be worth it. If it were me, and I really wanted the book, I'd buy a new one. Probably a Kindle copy.
User avatar
Pajamas
Posts: 6015
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:32 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Pajamas »

Consider this experience an inexpensive lesson. I learned many years ago not to lend books if you expect to get them back. Same for money.

I learned the lesson about money with a $20 loan (more like $50 now), but the book was one a parent had as a child and was not replaceable.

There is also a difference between someone asking to borrow a book and offering to lend it to them as suggested reading thinking that they will appreciate reading it. They may accept it reluctantly and feel imposed upon and obligated to read it even though they don't really want to. Same with music or films.
Last edited by Pajamas on Sat Mar 04, 2017 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Christine_NM
Posts: 2786
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:13 am
Location: New Mexico

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by Christine_NM »

Maybe you could wait for a new edition. Fortune being what it is, she will return the original soon after you cave and buy a new one.

Sounds like you have said more than enough to her on whatever subject this is. Karl's comment above may be appropriate.
18% cash 44% stock 38% bond. Retired, w/d rate 2.5%
docbrown
Posts: 107
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:37 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by docbrown »

AZAttorney11 wrote:Don't unintentionally create tension over $7-9.
To me, the issue is neither the $9 nor the question of whether one should be generous. I personally give many things away with no expectation of return, so I am not the petty type.

The issue is letting people get away with things because they have a certain position or title, or because we are afraid of rocking the boat.

I just cannot imagine living like that. Maybe that's why I have never had a job and am proudly unemployable. Everybody I meet is my equal, and titles do not impress me.

I am really baffled by the corporate world and I cannot understand why people join it, when they have to give up so much.
Roth was a Senator, not an acronym. Please, stop writing it in all caps.
AZAttorney11
Posts: 777
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:12 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by AZAttorney11 »

AZAttorney11 wrote:Don't unintentionally create tension over $7-9.
docbrown wrote:To me, the issue is neither the $9 nor the question of whether one should be generous. I personally give many things away with no expectation of return, so I am not the petty type.

The issue is letting people get away with things because they have a certain position or title, or because we are afraid of rocking the boat.

I just cannot imagine living like that. Maybe that's why I have never had a job and am proudly unemployable. Everybody I meet is my equal, and titles do not impress me.

I am really baffled by the corporate world and I cannot understand why people join it, when they have to give up so much.
You're missing the point. It's picking and choosing your battles while keeping your eye on the bigger picture. My opinion has nothing to do with titles; I don't care if the book was lent to the CEO or an intern -- at some point it's best to just drop it and move on. We're talking about $9 max. I also don't care if the book was lent to a friend or someone outside of the corporate world. None of that matters.

I'm not sure why so many of your posts in this thread have a negative connotation. There's no indication the OP's director is bullying him or abusing his / her authority. Why not assume positive intent?
AZAttorney11
Posts: 777
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:12 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by AZAttorney11 »

AZAttorney11 wrote:Don't unintentionally create tension over $7-9.
docbrown wrote:To me, the issue is neither the $9 nor the question of whether one should be generous. I personally give many things away with no expectation of return, so I am not the petty type.

The issue is letting people get away with things because they have a certain position or title, or because we are afraid of rocking the boat.

I just cannot imagine living like that. Maybe that's why I have never had a job and am proudly unemployable. Everybody I meet is my equal, and titles do not impress me.

I am really baffled by the corporate world and I cannot understand why people join it, when they have to give up so much.
You're missing the point. It's picking and choosing your battles while keeping your eye on the bigger picture. My opinion has nothing to do with titles; I don't care if the book was lent to the CEO or an intern -- at some point it's best to just drop it and move on. We're talking about $9 max. I also don't care if the book was lent to a friend or someone outside of the corporate world. None of that matters.

I'm not sure why so many of your posts in this thread have a negative connotation. There's no indication the OP's director is bullying him or abusing his / her authority. Why not assume positive intent?

I get paid to confront people for a living and have no problem standing up for myself or others, but this is about having perspective and recognizing what is really at stake.
RoadHouseFan
Posts: 279
Joined: Sat Aug 13, 2016 6:55 pm

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by RoadHouseFan »

Submit an expense report for the book.
User avatar
LadyGeek
Site Admin
Posts: 67144
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:34 pm
Location: Philadelphia
Contact:

Re: How to ask back the book I lent to a Director?

Post by LadyGeek »

This thread has run its course and is locked (employer relationship issue, not a consumer or investing issue). See: Acceptable Topics and Subforum Guidelines
This is an investing and personal finance forum. We also maintain a subforum that allow our members to discuss consumer goods and services and recreational activities. Anything else is considered "Off Topic" and is not acceptable on this forum.
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
Locked