I may be a workaholic?
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I may be a workaholic?
I think I'm a little crazy. I'm in my 50's and I have saved and invested carefully for a very long time. I have a large investment portfolio. I am extremely comfortable financially.
I recently retired from my university professor job. I started 3 companies over the years, and 2 of them are highly successful, the third is doing fine. There is a talented team running everything and I kind of dabble in overseeing management. I also do lots of consulting, and I'm kind of addicted to it. I like the acknowledgement of my expertise and the hourly rates I charge are ridiculous, but there is huge demand and I'm having a very hard time turning down consulting work.
I exercise in the woods every morning and I take amazing vacations with my spouse a few times each year, but I feel I am addicted to too much work. Has anyone else experienced this? Any stories or thoughts about a path to better balance in life? This feels like the next important thing I need to figure out.
I recently retired from my university professor job. I started 3 companies over the years, and 2 of them are highly successful, the third is doing fine. There is a talented team running everything and I kind of dabble in overseeing management. I also do lots of consulting, and I'm kind of addicted to it. I like the acknowledgement of my expertise and the hourly rates I charge are ridiculous, but there is huge demand and I'm having a very hard time turning down consulting work.
I exercise in the woods every morning and I take amazing vacations with my spouse a few times each year, but I feel I am addicted to too much work. Has anyone else experienced this? Any stories or thoughts about a path to better balance in life? This feels like the next important thing I need to figure out.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
There's nothing wrong with being a "workaholic" if that's what you enjoy and what you truly desire. "Work-life balance" was invented by folks who simply don't enjoy their work enough.
One experiment is to pretend you've just found out you had cancer today. Is there anything you will regret at all? Another experiment is to actually mentally simulate your own death. You're in your 50s, so according to actuarial tables, you will die in about another 20 or so years. If you have medical conditions or you're overweight, etc., you might die in about 10 years. That's not that long more to live. If work is what brings you joy, do it. Otherwise, you'll be dying soon enough that it seems foolish to do it just for the money.
One experiment is to pretend you've just found out you had cancer today. Is there anything you will regret at all? Another experiment is to actually mentally simulate your own death. You're in your 50s, so according to actuarial tables, you will die in about another 20 or so years. If you have medical conditions or you're overweight, etc., you might die in about 10 years. That's not that long more to live. If work is what brings you joy, do it. Otherwise, you'll be dying soon enough that it seems foolish to do it just for the money.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
I agree that it's not a problem for you if you enjoy it.
If it is a problem for your spouse, then you certainly could cut back based on your financial situation.
Congratulations!
JT
If it is a problem for your spouse, then you certainly could cut back based on your financial situation.
Congratulations!
JT
Re: I may be a workaholic?
Are You Relatively "Content".
That is an important question to ask yourself.
Nothing is perfect.
That is an important question to ask yourself.
Nothing is perfect.
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
As long as one has peace and harmony with low/manageable stress you are fine.
John C. Bogle: “Simplicity is the master key to financial success."
Re: I may be a workaholic?
A missing part of the picture is how many hours you are working each week and if you still have kids at home.
If you are working ten+ hour days including a lot of time on weekends or traveling 40 weeks a year then there might be reason for concern and you might want to consider counseling to help work out a better balance.
If your spouse is still working then one concern will be what your relationship will look like when he or she retires since there could be some big changes then.
When I retired I bought my wife a joke book with the title of "How to Survive Your Retired Husband" it was not deep reading but as I recall one chapter had the title, "I married your for better or worse, but not for lunch!" which stressed the importance of each spouses getting out on their own and having their separate interests.
If you are working a reasonable number of hours and enjoying it then consider yourself lucky.
If your family is financially very well provided for then one option to consider would be to use part of your ongoing work income to support a cause that you feel strongly about to help support that. That might help you not feel like a greedy workaholic when you are still working when you are 75, but instead you might feel very fortunate to be able to support that cause while doing something you enjoy.
If you are working ten+ hour days including a lot of time on weekends or traveling 40 weeks a year then there might be reason for concern and you might want to consider counseling to help work out a better balance.
If your spouse is still working then one concern will be what your relationship will look like when he or she retires since there could be some big changes then.
When I retired I bought my wife a joke book with the title of "How to Survive Your Retired Husband" it was not deep reading but as I recall one chapter had the title, "I married your for better or worse, but not for lunch!" which stressed the importance of each spouses getting out on their own and having their separate interests.
If you are working a reasonable number of hours and enjoying it then consider yourself lucky.
If your family is financially very well provided for then one option to consider would be to use part of your ongoing work income to support a cause that you feel strongly about to help support that. That might help you not feel like a greedy workaholic when you are still working when you are 75, but instead you might feel very fortunate to be able to support that cause while doing something you enjoy.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
Thanks, good advice all around. I like the idea of imagining I have terminal cancer, and asking what might I regret. I am mostly doing all the things I love to do, but some of the things I would like to do more of (see my 26 year old daughter more often) are out of my control and I am working to accept the reality that I have to accept the things I cannot control.
Overall my life is in relative balance, I just have to do a little less consulting and then all will be right back where it should be. I am filled with gratitude that I have good health and no financial worries.
Overall my life is in relative balance, I just have to do a little less consulting and then all will be right back where it should be. I am filled with gratitude that I have good health and no financial worries.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
Watty wrote:A missing part of the picture is how many hours you are working each week and if you still have kids at home.
If you are working ten+ hour days including a lot of time on weekends or traveling 40 weeks a year then there might be reason for concern and you might want to consider counseling to help work out a better balance.
If your spouse is still working then one concern will be what your relationship will look like when he or she retires since there could be some big changes then.
When I retired I bought my wife a joke book with the title of "How to Survive Your Retired Husband" it was not deep reading but as I recall one chapter had the title, "I married your for better or worse, but not for lunch!" which stressed the importance of each spouses getting out on their own and having their separate interests.
If you are working a reasonable number of hours and enjoying it then consider yourself lucky.
If your family is financially very well provided for then one option to consider would be to use part of your ongoing work income to support a cause that you feel strongly about to help support that. That might help you not feel like a greedy workaholic when you are still working when you are 75, but instead you might feel very fortunate to be able to support that cause while doing something you enjoy.
My spouse works part time (teaching 1 block from home, 2 hours per day) and a primary reason is to keep balance in our marriage. I work about 20 hours per week at my business (5 minutes drive from home) and probably 30 hours per week at home doing consulting work. I am trying to figure out how to limit the consulting. As I dig a little deeper, my addiction is to feeling needed, to having a purpose for existing on this earth, for having my expertise acknowledged and appreciated. And I have set up the location of our home and the structure of my life to make working very convenient.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
Your reasons are all valid, and 50 hours per week is not too bad. It is extremely important that our lives have purpose and meaning at each stage of life. As I aged, I found that my purpose and meaning changed after I retired. I no longer wanted to work for a paycheck. I had opportunities to consult but turned them down for that reason. However, I know people in their late 70s and early 80s who are still going strong with their work. There is no one answer to your concern, but you seem to be on the right path. Best wishes.Archimedes wrote:
My spouse works part time (teaching 1 block from home, 2 hours per day) and a primary reason is to keep balance in our marriage. I work about 20 hours per week at my business (5 minutes drive from home) and probably 30 hours per week at home doing consulting work. I am trying to figure out how to limit the consulting. As I dig a little deeper, my addiction is to feeling needed, to having a purpose for existing on this earth, for having my expertise acknowledged and appreciated. And I have set up the location of our home and the structure of my life to make working very convenient.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
Could the ridiculous fees people pay you be part of the acknowledgement you feel? If so, you could raise them until the consulting work slows to your liking. Alternatively, the utility you provide and satisfaction you derive may well vary depending on who you are working for. Be picky.Archimedes wrote: My spouse works part time (teaching 1 block from home, 2 hours per day) and a primary reason is to keep balance in our marriage. I work about 20 hours per week at my business (5 minutes drive from home) and probably 30 hours per week at home doing consulting work. I am trying to figure out how to limit the consulting. As I dig a little deeper, my addiction is to feeling needed, to having a purpose for existing on this earth, for having my expertise acknowledged and appreciated. And I have set up the location of our home and the structure of my life to make working very convenient.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
I disagree. Most alcoholics enjoy drinking. Most drug abusers enjoy drugs. Most shopaholics love shopping. That doesn't make it alright. Obviously I am not putting working in the same category as these other things. However, I don't think we have enough information as to how this working affects the other people in his life (kids, spouse, grandkids,friends) and his health (I see the running in the woods...but that doesn't mean great health). I am just throwing this out there as a possibility knowing very little information , but maybe OP needs to work to get "the acknowledgement of ... expertise" because he is unfulfilled in his personal life. Maybe he hates his wife and it is a great escape. I am just saying that over working is not automatically healthy but maybe it is perfectly fine.Caduceus wrote:There's nothing wrong with being a "workaholic" if that's what you enjoy and what you truly desire. "Work-life balance" was invented by folks who simply don't enjoy their work enough.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
If your financially set and enjoy doing what you do, why not use your skills (if possible) for some charity work, donate your expertise to a non-profit, or charge a dirt cheap rate to help the charity of your choice? I think that might give you an even more desire to continue working.Archimedes wrote: As I dig a little deeper, my addiction is to feeling needed, to having a purpose for existing on this earth, for having my expertise acknowledged and appreciated.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
With nearly zero commute time you are only working about as many total hours as someone that is commuting to a traditional 8 to 5 office job. It also sounds like you also take a lot more vacation time than someone in a traditional job.Archimedes wrote: My spouse works part time (teaching 1 block from home, 2 hours per day) and a primary reason is to keep balance in our marriage. I work about 20 hours per week at my business (5 minutes drive from home) and probably 30 hours per week at home doing consulting work. I am trying to figure out how to limit the consulting. As I dig a little deeper, my addiction is to feeling needed, to having a purpose for existing on this earth, for having my expertise acknowledged and appreciated. And I have set up the location of our home and the structure of my life to make working very convenient.
You are not even in the workaholic ballpark.
You are only in your 50's, if you were 80 and still working that schedule there might be more cause for concern.
The old saying is "If it aint broke don't fix it."
When you are ready to cut back it will be easy.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
A workaholic would have kept the university job, in addition to 30 hours of consulting on top of it.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
If your work habits are not making you sick and you have good relationships with the people in your life (not just good from your perspective, but also good from their perspective), I see no problem.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
Agree w above... Looks like a case of the Joneses? University profs work very little relative to the office workers here I'd wager. So you look around and all your fellow Joneses are taking it easy on little teaching blocks and research grants. Then you think you are overworking. Consider what is average for your profession, community, the average person, office worker. Determine if comparing yourself w any of those is meaningful. Then consider if, absent those comparisons, on a purely subjective level u r happy n working too much or little or just right. Somewhere in that analysis you will find what porridge is for u....
Re: I may be a workaholic?
I'm only a layman, but I've been around alcoholics and, in my opinion, they aren't enjoying drinking or anything else for that matter.michaeljc70 wrote:Most alcoholics enjoy drinking.
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but comparing this OPs humblebrag to addiction is ridiculous.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
Working and being productive is an integral part of the human condition, and I don't think there is anything in our ecosystem that dictates that necessarily has to change in your 50's. Age is just a number, and I wouldn't let any of society's broad rules or conventions play any role in how you live your life. Go with what feels right and works for you.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
I think I clearly said "Obviously I am not putting working in the same category as these other things."IFRider wrote:I'm only a layman, but I've been around alcoholics and, in my opinion, they aren't enjoying drinking or anything else for that matter.michaeljc70 wrote:Most alcoholics enjoy drinking.
I don't mean to hijack the thread, but comparing this OPs humblebrag to addiction is ridiculous.
Also, working is an addiction in some people. They sacrifice other important things in their life and cannot stop.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
What triggered you to post this? Is it an inner voice saying that there may be more to life than work? If so, do you have a sense of how you can follow that voice to see where it leads?
Re: I may be a workaholic?
I'm curious what % of posts on bogleheads are humblebrags.
I wasn't here when it was not banned, but we should bring back trivia posts and cut the humblebrags to a minimum.
I wasn't here when it was not banned, but we should bring back trivia posts and cut the humblebrags to a minimum.
A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
It's nice to have a place to complain about and discuss first world problems sometimes, even if some of those not facing those problems feel you are humble-bragging.buccimane wrote:I'm curious what % of posts on bogleheads are humblebrags.
I wasn't here when it was not banned, but we should bring back trivia posts and cut the humblebrags to a minimum.
There will always be someone on this board who makes more than me and who has more than me. The opposite is also true. They all have their own struggles. I don't let it bother me and try to take posts at face value. It keeps me happier.
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Re: I may be a workaholic?
If you enjoy the work, I'd keep doing it. If you don't enjoy it, that would be the reason to stop. I don't think you're a workaholic. You just sound like someone who gets satisfaction from working and there isn't anything wrong with that.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
There are lots of reasons for continuing to want to work.
A manager of one department where I worked was always thought to be somewhat egotistical. He held long meetings to which he invited as many staff as possible and he always seemed to be the principal speaker. After he joined the firm he had brought in subordinates that had worked for him elsewhere. When he reached retirement age he retired, no one asked him to remain.
A year later we heard that he had gone back to work for a nearby government agency at a substantially lower salary. The word was that his manner and behavior had not changed.
We knew that he lacked non-family social contacts outside of his work and going back to work probably met his social needs.
Work is a tool to primarily meet the needs of the worker.
A manager of one department where I worked was always thought to be somewhat egotistical. He held long meetings to which he invited as many staff as possible and he always seemed to be the principal speaker. After he joined the firm he had brought in subordinates that had worked for him elsewhere. When he reached retirement age he retired, no one asked him to remain.
A year later we heard that he had gone back to work for a nearby government agency at a substantially lower salary. The word was that his manner and behavior had not changed.
We knew that he lacked non-family social contacts outside of his work and going back to work probably met his social needs.
Work is a tool to primarily meet the needs of the worker.
The closest helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
Re: I may be a workaholic?
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