Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

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saladdin
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby saladdin » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:53 pm

Taylor Larimore wrote:Mariam2:

I have made arrangements to donate my remains to the University of Miami for medical research.

This should also make it easier and more lucrative my for heirs (no casket, no funeral, no cost).

Best wishes.
Taylor


Know nothing of your specific deal but many of these schools are refusing future bodies because of how popular the idea is. I looked into it and the fine print said pretty much that the school can refuse the body at the time of death. Your plan could be to be handed off to a school but your heirs may be forced to come up with plan b. I suggest you add a "Just in case,..." plan into your will.

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mrc
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby mrc » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:12 pm

saladdin wrote:Know nothing of your specific deal but many of these schools are refusing future bodies because of how popular the idea is. I looked into it and the fine print said pretty much that the school can refuse the body at the time of death. Your plan could be to be handed off to a school but your heirs may be forced to come up with plan b. I suggest you add a "Just in case,..." plan into your will.


That's what I've done. Plan A: Anatomical board donation. But many things can derail that: more than a couple hours before discovery, under- or overweight, communicable disease, certain recent surgery, etc. Plan B: Direct cremation. In these parts, that about $1K with a "free" basic urn included!
A great challenge of life: Knowing enough to think you're doing it right, but not enough to know you're doing it wrong. — Neil deGrasse Tyson

David Scubadiver
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby David Scubadiver » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:10 pm

Past performance is no guarantee of future performance. Just because everybody (as far as they make public) has died before, does not mean it will happen to you and your husband. What if you pay and never die? Or what if you die and your body is never found? Or what if you die and become a zombie? In all of these cases you will have Los for nothing but a headstone to remind the world of your passing.

Donate your corpse to science and save a buck. Sure medical students will play jokes with your corpse. But, really, don't we want our doctors to do what they need to do to avoid being squeemish?

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Abe
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby Abe » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:41 pm

David Scubadiver wrote: What if you pay and never die?


If I pay and never die, I want a full refund. :happy
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itstoomuch
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby itstoomuch » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:35 pm

Direct cremation is inexpensive. Inexpensive $400 at a direct cremation -$1000 at a full service funeral home, No services. Our parents have very few friends left, passed in their 90's) Oregon . We intend to, not do prepay.
YMMV
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Miriam2
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby Miriam2 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:02 pm

Abe wrote:
David Scubadiver wrote: What if you pay and never die?

If I pay and never die, I want a full refund. :happy

I'm gonna find me a good lawyer and put that in that ole funeral prepay contract :idea:

HIinvestor
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby HIinvestor » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:06 pm

On a related but different note, we bought insurance for my FIL that would and did return his body to HI (from SF) if he died out of state. It was the best $250-500 we ever spent! I believe we may have purchased the casket from Costco as well, but at this point I'm a bit fuzzy on that. Our loved ones did NOT pre-pay, but pretty clearly expressed what they wanted and we carried it out to the best of our abilities. I think pre-planning but NOT pre-paying is optimal unless you really feel your loved ones won't have the ability to think straight and pay for what needs to be paid without being taken great advantage of. When we've worked with funeral directors, they were all quite professional and explained all the charges and all seemed pretty reasonable. I can't remember what they were, but included a ceremony, officiant, preparing the body and keeping it from when it was transported to them until the body was buried, the hall for the services, and a hearse to drive the body from the services to the grave, as well as a graveside canopy for graveside service. We also provided a meal for all who attended the services. There were funds in the estates to handle all costs.

IMADreamer
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby IMADreamer » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:42 pm

While not a funeral home I own a memorial shop, you know making headstones and the like. My advice is to prepay because what happens if you don't is your spouse or your family is going to come in and over spend. No hard selling here, it's just the emotion of it all. They want you to have the best and by gosh if you got the money you will have it.


However if you do it ahead of time you, or you and your spouse can come in and make calm, rational decisions about what you want and how much you want to spend. IMO experience which I've owned my business for three years now and I worked part time under the old owners for 7 years prior, you will spend on average a thousand dollars less than your grieving spouse or kids will. This is in a small rural community where prices are reasonable. If you live in the city that number will easily be double or triple that.

Dottie57
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby Dottie57 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:57 pm

About 10 years ago my parents pre-paid for their funerals. When dad died most selections had already been made. No wondering about how to pay. It was a real gift from my parents at a difficult time.

bowtie
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby bowtie » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:04 pm

I'm probably going to pre pay for the land space and associated cemetery costs, but may simply plan and leave directions for wishes regarding mortuary services.
The other option would be list specific directions and/ or talk with family and put funds aside for this.
Funeral Consumers Alliance often advocates pre planning and family communication rather than pre paying, but I think it depends on the individual involved.
I also inquired about an insurance policy for this purpose but then the paperwork indicated it is called a whole life policy. Not sure of advantages or disadvantages of this. It needs a two year period before it could be used. BT

Jags4186
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby Jags4186 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:08 pm

I'm not spending my money to bury myself. My estate can pay whatever it costs and my heirs can have whatever is left.

Pigeon
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby Pigeon » Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:51 pm

This past month I had my elderly father and mother-in-law die. The funerals were similar, full-fig with the wake, embalming, tarting up of the corpse and open casket for at least part of it. My father's included transfer of the corpse to a church for the wake and then the next day for the funeral service, while MIL's was just at the funeral home. Dad had a very fancy coffin. Hers included a headstone, my father's did not. Both already had plots purchased. The costs were similar, about $14 for her and 18K for him. That doesn't include the after party.

My MIL had left written instructions about 5 years ago, along with my FIL to their sons that they wanted a pretty simple burial. When FIL died a few years ago, my BIL, the oldest of the lot, bullied her into having a much fancier, more expensive shindig because he converted to his wife's religion and that's how they do things, despite the fact that MIL and FIL were not of that religion. When she died, he pushed hard for the big production, and while it was important to him, it was not something the other brothers wanted. However, family dynamics being what they are, the bully got his way.

So, I can see the advantage of pre-paying, because no matter how much you tell your family what you want, they might not honor it, even if it is in writing. But I also understand that funeral homes might not end up doing what you contracted for, especially if they go out of business.

This month has cemented my resolve for a direct cremation. My friend recently did this for her father and it was about $2K. I would like a party after, with good food, booze and a pinata.

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LadyGeek
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby LadyGeek » Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:17 pm

Be sure to keep all your receipts with the contract, especially those marked "paid in full" as you may need them later.

A friend's mother recently passed away. The arrangements were pre-paid about 20 years ago and it was a joint husband / wife contract. Her father passed away a few years ago and everything went according to plan.

Now, the mother passes and the cemetery refused to do the burial. Why? They claimed that the $500 bill for perpetual care was never paid. The cemetery had no record of the payment, my friend had no receipt to show it was paid. This was 20 years ago, after all. Why didn't they say anything when her father died? I have no idea.

So, after a long and drawn-out disagreement with the cemetery, my friend paid the balance due to get her mom buried. I'll leave out the details, but the funeral home agrees with my friend that she's right. My friend is pursuing the matter.
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F150HD
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Re: Preparing financially for our funerals - prepay or not?

Postby F150HD » Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:24 pm

flyingbison wrote:I don't see much advantage in prepaying, unless you really want to ensure that you get specific products and services when you die.


I do, makes it much, much easier on the people left behind.


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