Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

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betterfinances
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Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by betterfinances »

I'm placing this in "personal consumer" because it impacts how we spend our money.

As some of you know, I am financially well off. I am proud to support my families financial needs and do not require the support of others for my children to engage in activities.

One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

I'm strongly leaning toward "no". If the school needs money for some additional project that my family supports, we can simply write a check to the school. Even better, donations to schools are matched by my company dollar for dollar, so if I give them $1000 in lieu of school fundraisers, then the school gets $2000. If I instead spent $1000 on fundraisers, the school would have only received $500.

Downside is that schools use peer pressure to try to increase sales. For example, if everbody in the class sells at least 5 chocolate easter bunnies, then the whole class gets an ice cream party. If my kid is the only one not to sell 5 chocolate easter bunnies, then the whole class suffers, even if I have already given the school $1000 at the beginning of the year.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
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Miriam2
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Miriam2 »

Next year - when your kid is actually in public school -and there is actually a school fundraiser -ask your wife what she's going to do, then follow her advice.
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betterfinances
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by betterfinances »

Due to work schedules, I'm the primary parent for my children while they are in public school. It's my decision to make, hence is why I'm looking into it.
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runner9
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by runner9 »

Our 1 child is in kindergarden. I don't see peer pressure, at least not yet. Yes, there may be class goals but it's not known what/if each child participated. We pick and choose and only give ourselves to those we pick, no door to door or anything. So, they collect box tops and we have some family collect and he turned in 2/3 of the 1st quarter total for his class. Whole class got a pizza party, my son turned in 450 out of 650. Oh well, no problem. They have pizza nights where you order pizza from a place and they get a cut. We're not big pizza people, we've never done it. They have some fundraisers we do, some we don't.

From a strickly financial side I'd say make a one time donation and be done.
111
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by 111 »

Don't think that it's a purely public school thing. I was quite surprised the first year my kid went to an expensive private school that they still did fundraisers and had school supply lists that we had to provide. But, it has continued on every year at three different schools now so it's apparently pretty much the norm.

I think it's probably good to let your kids participate. It will give them a little experience trying to do a job.
123
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by 123 »

These fundraisers are a part of the school experience and childhood these days. It's just the way things are. The best approach is to have your kid participate in the same manner as the other kids. Your kid would probably resent you if you try to buy a "pass" on the activity for him/her. Just "Power through" buying a stockpile of candy bars, cookies, holiday wrap, magazine subscriptions, and whatever else comes along. Normally the amount expected from each child is not extraordinary. It's probably better to just go along with the crowd, you child would probably prefer it that way.

In family matter decisions unfortunately financial aspects often don't carry much weight.
Last edited by 123 on Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sls239
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by sls239 »

I think a direct donation is a good idea.

But also realize that if they are relying on those types of fundraisers, it is probably due to a lack of manpower. So volunteering can help the PTO be able to move away from that and toward more profitable ones.

I know schools that have had auctions in which one item was lunch with the principal, walk-a-thons where the kids were sponsored by the lap, even renaissance fair dinners where the kids are both the servers and the entertainment.

But all of those require adults to actually be there to plan and help.
joebh
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by joebh »

betterfinances wrote:One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
If you truly want to use financial interests as your decision making criteria, then it's completely clear what you should do - spend $0 on school fundraisers and still get the benefit of those who do participate.

That may not be in your kids social interests, but it's certainly the financially sound way to decide.
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betterfinances
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by betterfinances »

123 wrote:These fundraisers are a part of the school experience and childhood these days. It's just the way things are. The best approach is to have your kid participate in the same manner as the other kids. Your kid would probably resent you if you try to buy a "pass" on the activity for him/her. Just "Power through" buying a stockpile of candy bars, cookies, holiday wrap, magazine subscriptions, and whatever else comes along. Normally the amount expected from each child is not extraordinary. It's probably better to just go along with the crowd, you child would probably prefer it that way.

In family matter decisions unfortunately financial aspects often don't carry much weight.
Many other kids (and parents) try to sell to grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors. I am not allowed to sell to coworkers. With the exception of parents, I am on better financial footing than them. I feel bad about asking them to purchase stuff that I know they don't need just so my kids school will get a cut.

I don't think most parents buy a ton from their own kid. That is not how it is supposed to work, anyway.
Last edited by betterfinances on Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
jackholloway
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by jackholloway »

Every fundraiser at my child's school has a "cash donation in lieu" option. Rather than writing one big check at the start of the year, attend the PTA or classroom parent meeting around the event, and ask how to donate cash instead of buying wrapping bunny pizzas. Since my company matches, they are usually happier with the cash form of the donation.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by jackholloway »

joebh wrote:
betterfinances wrote:One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
If you truly want to use financial interests as your decision making criteria, then it's completely clear what you should do - spend $0 on school fundraisers and still get the benefit of those who do participate.

That may not be in your kids social interests, but it's certainly the financially sound way to decide.
That depends. Are these other parents your neighbors? Consider the impact the next time they need to sign some home owner's association form. Anyone who believes in the Tragedy of the Commons has not actually lived near a real commons.
DiamondplateDave
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by DiamondplateDave »

Upfront: I am not a parent.
My $.02? I HATE these things. Some kid shows up on my doorstep, trying to sell me calendars, magazines, or whatnot. The last time it happened, I actually gave the kid a check (donation), made out to the school. He acted like I was...odd. I really didn't want to spend $10 on what he was selling.
But it irks me, it seems very calculated for some company to make a profit. We set you up with the package, you sell all the grandmothers and uncles a $2 calendar for $10, and we let you keep $3 of the profit.
When I was in school, we had bake sales. Parents and kids make cookies and donated them, and they were sold and the money went to field trips and such. I don't have a problem with that, or car washes, or something where the money actually goes to benefit the kids.
If you can afford to give $500 with a $500 match, you could save everybody the annoyance.
I can't speak to the value of having children coerce relatives into buying overpriced crap they don't need, nor can I assess the impact on your children if the rest of their class is doing it and they don't.
I realize that this post sounds very curmudgeonly, but I don't see anything I really want to change.
ks289
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by ks289 »

betterfinances wrote:
123 wrote:These fundraisers are a part of the school experience and childhood these days. It's just the way things are. The best approach is to have your kid participate in the same manner as the other kids. Your kid would probably resent you if you try to buy a "pass" on the activity for him/her. Just "Power through" buying a stockpile of candy bars, cookies, holiday wrap, magazine subscriptions, and whatever else comes along. Normally the amount expected from each child is not extraordinary. It's probably better to just go along with the crowd, you child would probably prefer it that way.

In family matter decisions unfortunately financial aspects often don't carry much weight.
Many/most other kids (and parents) try to sell to grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors. I am not allowed to sell to coworkers. With the exception of parents, I am on better financial footing than them. I feel bad about asking them to purchase stuff that I know they don't need just so my kids school will get a cut.
Participate for the social and possible educational benefit, but I agree with keeping the time commitment modest if it is too onerous. You can probably donate directly also or buy a lot of the items yourself and give them away to friends and coworkers as I do.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Doom&Gloom »

betterfinances wrote:Due to work schedules, I'm the primary parent for my children while they are in public school. It's my decision to make, hence is why I'm looking into it.
If it is so demeaning to your children and/or offensive to you, maybe you could join the PTA/PTO as soon as they begin school and suggest better ways for schools to raise extra funds?
joebh
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by joebh »

jackholloway wrote:
joebh wrote:
betterfinances wrote:One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
If you truly want to use financial interests as your decision making criteria, then it's completely clear what you should do - spend $0 on school fundraisers and still get the benefit of those who do participate.

That may not be in your kids social interests, but it's certainly the financially sound way to decide.
That depends. Are these other parents your neighbors? Consider the impact the next time they need to sign some home owner's association form.
That's a behavioral answer rather than an economic/financial one.
JeffAL
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by JeffAL »

Why be so dogmatic about it? If you give money, why does it matter how it happens?

Do whatever way is in the best interest of your children.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by jackholloway »

joebh wrote:
jackholloway wrote:
joebh wrote:
betterfinances wrote:One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
If you truly want to use financial interests as your decision making criteria, then it's completely clear what you should do - spend $0 on school fundraisers and still get the benefit of those who do participate.

That may not be in your kids social interests, but it's certainly the financially sound way to decide.
That depends. Are these other parents your neighbors? Consider the impact the next time they need to sign some home owner's association form.
That's a behavioral answer rather than an economic/financial one.
Not being able to make home improvements, or having to respond to nuisance complaints because my neighbors are ticked seems like a financial consequence.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by ThatGuy »

If you dislike the fundraisers, then no, you should not allow your child to participate.

I do not allow my child to participate, and I've told the head of the PTA to their face that my child will not participate, and why. I find it disgusting that they try to dragoon children into working for them, and moreso that they try to use an emotional ploy with an actor that doesn't understand what they're doing.

If you want my money you can ask me for a donation, or you can lobby for a bond measure. But you CANNOT use my child.
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betterfinances
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by betterfinances »

jackholloway wrote: Not being able to make home improvements, or having to respond to nuisance complaints because my neighbors are ticked seems like a financial consequence.
Remember, I'm not asking if I should buy stuff from their kid. I'm asking if I should insist my kid knock on their door trying to sell to them!

I think the HOA fallout of NOT having my kid knock on their door would be slim to nonexistent.
123
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by 123 »

The biggest fundraisers at some schools are "Auctions" where parents bid on various donated items. They are often packaged as part of a evening dinner or event that is only for the parents. These kind of events allow you to bid (and pay) for items without the middle man of a vendor like a candy company etc. Many auctions allow you to bid without attending. Just bid $1,000 for a for a pizza dinner that was donated by a local restaurant and the school will do fine. Check if your child's school does one of these auction type events, they're often in the spring after all the other fund raisers have run their course. Leave some dry ammo in your donation budget for these, they provide the highest level of return to the school.

Many school PTA groups have a website to keep parents informed about things. You may want to look for such a site by your child's prospective school. Looking through planned agendas and meeting minutes will give you a lot of clues about how things work, you may be more comfortable if you're not surprised.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Kix »

ThatGuy wrote:If you dislike the fundraisers, then no, you should not allow your child to participate.

I do not allow my child to participate, and I've told the head of the PTA to their face that my child will not participate, and why. I find it disgusting that they try to dragoon children into working for them, and moreso that they try to use an emotional ploy with an actor that doesn't understand what they're doing.

If you want my money you can ask me for a donation, or you can lobby for a bond measure. But you CANNOT use my child.
This. EXACTLY this.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by donaldfair71 »

betterfinances wrote:I'm placing this in "personal consumer" because it impacts how we spend our money.

As some of you know, I am financially well off. I am proud to support my families financial needs and do not require the support of others for my children to engage in activities.

One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.

I'm strongly leaning toward "no". If the school needs money for some additional project that my family supports, we can simply write a check to the school. Even better, donations to schools are matched by my company dollar for dollar, so if I give them $1000 in lieu of school fundraisers, then the school gets $2000. If I instead spent $1000 on fundraisers, the school would have only received $500.

Downside is that schools use peer pressure to try to increase sales. For example, if everbody in the class sells at least 5 chocolate easter bunnies, then the whole class gets an ice cream party. If my kid is the only one not to sell 5 chocolate easter bunnies, then the whole class suffers, even if I have already given the school $1000 at the beginning of the year.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to base this around a financial discussion.
As a teacher who has coached about 22 separate seasons, and who has done the fundraising thing in all of them, cut a check if you can. Especially with the match, which I must say is awesome from your company. It's tidy, it's profitable to the cause, it's win-win.

I would have a different answer for people who A. Cannot afford to simply cut a check or B. The company doesn't match. In fact, I would have different advice to myself by that criteria. But in your situation, cut check.

If you fear pressure, just wait until the fundraisers where things can be won, donate then, get your bunnies, and add in extra to the cause directly to the school as an addition straight to the school. We get that all the time.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by donaldfair71 »

ThatGuy wrote:If you dislike the fundraisers, then no, you should not allow your child to participate.

I do not allow my child to participate, and I've told the head of the PTA to their face that my child will not participate, and why. I find it disgusting that they try to dragoon children into working for them, and moreso that they try to use an emotional ploy with an actor that doesn't understand what they're doing.

If you want my money you can ask me for a donation, or you can lobby for a bond measure. But you CANNOT use my child.
I would second this. Usually, just asking for a donation is the better choice in middle-upper class communities.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by jackholloway »

betterfinances wrote:
jackholloway wrote: Not being able to make home improvements, or having to respond to nuisance complaints because my neighbors are ticked seems like a financial consequence.
Remember, I'm not asking if I should buy stuff from their kid. I'm asking if I should insist my kid knock on their door trying to sell to them!

I think the HOA fallout of NOT having my kid knock on their door would be slim to nonexistent.
Fair enough. I usually cough up a donation, but I do not have the kid sell.
renue74
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by renue74 »

Our kid's schools have gotten smarter about fundraising. In the last few years, they've done the "walkathon" type fundraiser will you donate X amount for every time around the track your kid walks. It's a good 1/2 day event and the kids enjoy it, plus they get exercise.

I'm happy to participate with our donation.

Also, our kids will have bingo night 1x or 2x per year. They have Chick-fil-A, bingo, raffle, photo booth, and sell tickets for each. My kids enjoy it and it takes about 2 hours of our time to participate. I don't mind dropping money for that.

Occasionally there are other fundraisers...the selling paper kind and honestly, we're so busy with "things," that it's difficult to take the time to reach out to people to sell this stuff. I feel like a lot of friends are in the same boat. I work 6 days per week between my agency and my rental houses on the weekends. I don't have and don't want to make time to sell wrapping paper. The kids are fine with it and I don't think there are any repercussions.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Hug401k »

The kids in our public elementary schools do not sell anything. I hate kids selling. For us, it's all fairs, raffles, bingo nights, event type fundraisers. However it takes a ton of volunteers. As a member of a Parent Group (who also works full time), for those of you who speak so disdainfully of selling for the PTA, just keep in mind, for most schools, that PTA is paying for most of the extra development/interactive programs- like special hands on science events or aquarium field trips. None of them are doing it for the love of wrapping paper or cookie dough. So if you feel the need to look down at them and their methods, get involved yourself so you can come up with ideas that don't require them to lean on selling. And please, make that donation. There is nothing more helpful than cash that requires no volunteers, but we typically get $20 a family if we are lucky.

By the way, I hope you don't plan on having any girl scouts or boy scouts, it's all fund raising.
Casper
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Casper »

Miriam2 wrote:Next year - when your kid is actually in public school -and there is actually a school fundraiser -ask your wife what she's going to do, then follow her advice.
Agree. This is hypothetical and no one even knows what the fundraiser would be for or how it would be done. In my area I've never seen a fundraiser where kids are out hawking goods to raise money for the school district in general. It's usually the soccer team (or whoever) doing a car wash or something similar to raise money for trips, new uniforms, etc. Rather than be somehow offended by this, I give them $5 and they wash my car. It all turns out ok in the end.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Smurf »

betterfinances wrote:As some of you know, I am financially well off. I am proud to support my families financial needs and do not require the support of others for my children to engage in activities.

One of my kids will be in public school next year and I'm sure will be offered the opportunity to sell products where the school gets a cut of the revenue, aka school fundraisers. I'm debating as to whether or not whether or not I should have my child participate.
Definitely do not let them participate. I once was asked to sell popcorn and raffle tickets as a cub scout and I am still trying to recover 30 years later. One guy even said "no thanks" when I knocked on the door. I strongly suggest you avoid letting your kids participate in any school activities as any beneficial fund raising will be dwarfed by the years of therapy that will be required.

On a serious note, you have nothing to gain from this decision. The only result will be to alienate you from other parents, and as your child gets older you will alienate them from their peers. Just let the kid do kid stuff at school, let them fit in, and don't try to police everything.
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betterfinances
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by betterfinances »

Smurf wrote:Definitely do not let them participate. I once was asked to sell popcorn and raffle tickets as a cub scout and I am still trying to recover 30 years later. One guy even said "no thanks" when I knocked on the door. I strongly suggest you avoid letting your kids participate in any school activities as any beneficial fund raising will be dwarfed by the years of therapy that will be required.

On a serious note, you have nothing to gain from this decision. The only result will be to alienate you from other parents, and as your child gets older you will alienate them from their peers. Just let the kid do kid stuff at school, let them fit in, and don't try to police everything.
Maybe I'm not being as clear as I should be.

My neighborhood is very much against door to door soliciting and it would not be fitting of the neighborhood to go around knocking on doors. In the 4 years that I've lived here, our door has been knocked on maybe 3 times by little kids selling products, and it doesn't seem to be an accepted practice.

Rather, kids call aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends parents to see if they'd like to purchase items for the fundraiser. I'm personally uncomfortable with this - while some of the aunts and uncles would be willing to purchase, I personally know that they are struggling financially and do not feel it is appropriate to put them in the position of telling a little one that they won't purchase the item. I don't consider the burden of providing the extras that are not provided by school should be born by aunts and uncles who probably could better use the money on themselves than on my children.

Does that make any more sense?
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by White Coat Investor »

I have a doc in my neighborhood who doesn't let his kids participate in the drives to raise money for the local children's hospital as it is a direct competitor of his and part of a huge medical conglomerate in the state (and makes plenty of money.) I think the doc is right, but it's also not much money so I don't bother making a stand on it.
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Casper
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Casper »

betterfinances wrote:
Smurf wrote:Definitely do not let them participate. I once was asked to sell popcorn and raffle tickets as a cub scout and I am still trying to recover 30 years later. One guy even said "no thanks" when I knocked on the door. I strongly suggest you avoid letting your kids participate in any school activities as any beneficial fund raising will be dwarfed by the years of therapy that will be required.

On a serious note, you have nothing to gain from this decision. The only result will be to alienate you from other parents, and as your child gets older you will alienate them from their peers. Just let the kid do kid stuff at school, let them fit in, and don't try to police everything.
Maybe I'm not being as clear as I should be.

My neighborhood is very much against door to door soliciting and it would not be fitting of the neighborhood to go around knocking on doors. In the 4 years that I've lived here, our door has been knocked on maybe 3 times by little kids selling products, and it doesn't seem to be an accepted practice.

Rather, kids call aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends parents to see if they'd like to purchase items for the fundraiser. I'm personally uncomfortable with this - while some of the aunts and uncles would be willing to purchase, I personally know that they are struggling financially and do not feel it is appropriate to put them in the position of telling a little one that they won't purchase the item. I don't consider the burden of providing the extras that are not provided by school should be born by aunts and uncles who probably could better use the money on themselves than on my children.

Does that make any more sense?
Based on that example it seems clear that you should not do it. When and if the peer pressure that you mention in the original post surfaces, then you can deal with it then, though I've never heard of such a thing.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

In the private school, we made direct donations (with company matching funds up to $5k/year) and also bought things at the bake sale. We also bought yearbooks.

There is an unwritten rule in our neighborhood that good neighbors don't send kids around selling things. It is considered bad form at work to sell things on the school's behalf.
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Pdxnative
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Pdxnative »

I agree with those who suggest joining the PTO, or at least getting involved in discussions. If you can suggest ways to raise needed funds without selling crap, a lot of people will listen. Our school made an implicit bargain years ago with parents: a jogathon and a write-a-check campaign as the only fundraisers, as long as enough could be raised. They got a check for $10k on day one and hit the budget in the first week.
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celia
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by celia »

I see it as not only a learning experience for the kids, but a way for them to appreciate their education (everything isn't "free").

I sold things as a kid and my kids did too. Yes, we ended up buying a lot of the things our kids sold, but it is a way for those families who can't pay the fees themselves, to have others share the cost with them in a non-embarassing way. OP, if your kids is the only one in his class not participating, he may be embarassed, not by his teacher or peers, but seeing for himself that he is not participating.

I try to buy from kids who knock on our door, but not the parents who would stake out a table in the eating area at work and put a box of chocolate there with an envelope for the money.
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Coyote
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Coyote »

JeffAL wrote:Why be so dogmatic about it? If you give money, why does it matter how it happens?

Do whatever way is in the best interest of your children.
Not so...

Really, you need to do what's best for the children in the school you chose to have your children to attend -- you're invested there, you need to support your investment. If you don't like the fundraiser stuff, it's not fair to opt out because you have the money. You need to get involved and support another means to raise funds (tax/parcel tax, crab feed, boots at major intersections, ...?) You knew about this beforehand, presumably. Get involved...
Last edited by Coyote on Wed Mar 16, 2016 10:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rodc
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Rodc »

I personally do not like the sales fund raisers (not auctions which are different). Most of them sell over-priced crap and the schools get very little of the money. And to some extent it ends up being a lousy trade - many adults do things like my wife and sister-in-law where they trade checks for $25 or something on their birthdays which is at least a break-even trade - only in this case you sell crap to your friends for your kids and they sell you crap for their kids so there is a ton of economic friction involved.

My wife was on the PTA and this came up. About half the parents said it is was just better to write a check and be done with it while the other half thought that was terrible, why you had to have sales! This is in a community where just about everyone can just write a check. My wife was of the opinion this was something to give a certain group of moms something to do, more than being actually useful. Others felt it had an important "community building" aspect or to teach the kids a lesson on whatever. I think the lesson idea might make some sense for the older kids, but I think for the most part the little ones are rarely doing the selling anyway. And at any rate there are other ways to teach such lessons.

Good luck. If your school has a strong and vocal group of sales advocates you will have to decide to what degree you want to fit in vs being an outsider. We did not do school sales FWIW. When older they did do things like scout sales where I think the lessons are stronger and they can be more independent.
Last edited by Rodc on Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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alec
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by alec »

Most of my kids fundraisers are either

1. online, so my wife just posts on Facebook for all friends and family to see, so no door to door.

2. At restaurants, where the school gets a cut of the money spent.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Jack FFR1846 »

We've had our kids attempt this and our neighborhood is very spread out. My 19 year old still refers to the people in one of the big houses with 2 Mercedes as "those people who wouldn't buy a pie".

A couple better run fund raisers in our town are a PTA silent auction. This is the chance to go in and write your name on sheets for things being auctioned off. We've picked up plenty of bargains buying things or restaurant gift certificates where we already go. No pressure, no sending the kids to the "creepy guy's house" to beg for a $1 for a candy bar.

The other is a scouts Christmas tree pickup. I've volunteered yearly for this. I bring my Jeep with a snowmobile trailer. A scout leader rides shotgun and gives me addresses that I load in the GPS and 2 or 3 scouts climb in the back. We get to each address and the kids grab the envelope with a check and load the tree on the trailer. The leader gets out to make sure that most of the scouts don't get run over by passing lumber trucks. We return to an area where we dump off the trees and go back out for more. The scouts have fun, we provide an actual service and the checks support the troop for the entire year.
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JeffAL
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by JeffAL »

Maybe I'm not being as clear as I should be.

My neighborhood is very much against door to door soliciting and it would not be fitting of the neighborhood to go around knocking on doors. In the 4 years that I've lived here, our door has been knocked on maybe 3 times by little kids selling products, and it doesn't seem to be an accepted practice.

Rather, kids call aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends parents to see if they'd like to purchase items for the fundraiser. I'm personally uncomfortable with this - while some of the aunts and uncles would be willing to purchase, I personally know that they are struggling financially and do not feel it is appropriate to put them in the position of telling a little one that they won't purchase the item. I don't consider the burden of providing the extras that are not provided by school should be born by aunts and uncles who probably could better use the money on themselves than on my children.

Does that make any more sense?
Obviously the answer here is NO, don't force your kid to sell to people who don't want/need to buy whatever you're selling. If you're well off and you're going to be donating to the school anyway, just buy the product yourself to meet the kid's goal and either keep the product or give it away.

I think the days of children soliciting door to door are over.

When my kids were selling candy bars for their school, we bought a box from each of them. Done. I think Grandma bought some too. Anyway, the kids sold their candy bars and we had plenty of candy bars to eat for a couple months. Mission accomplished.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Da5id »

I've varied policies for my kids. Sometimes we don't participate -- I particularly dislike sales of raffle tickets for example. Sometimes we buy stuff ourselves (fundraisers selling gift wrap, plant bulbs, etc have been useful). Rarely do our kids ask others for money, I don't like the purposeful design to use/abuse a social network to raise funds by soliciting people who may feel obligated not to decline. One exception is my son's sports team, which sells booklets of local discounts that are actually worthwhile to many purchasers (as in easy to get out more than you pay). He is older and sells them to strangers and friends alike, and people don't seem to mind those (I buy a few myself as well, and get good use out of them). I'm also OK hitting up people who ask us, so if other parents kids come to our house first I'm fine sending my kid to theirs.

Do you ever have more current issues to raise, your kids aren't even in school yet?!?
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

Several years ago, one of my kids was questioning me about the inefficiency of his friend's bar mitzvah as a means of passing money from parents to child. I laughed, told him he was absolutely right, but to enjoy the party anyway.

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likegarden
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by likegarden »

Here the PTA does such fund raisers to finance their projects for the public school. We buy food items mostly. When our kid went to private pre-school we also paid for part of a fence. We never asked him to go door to door to sell items. Though he goes door to door during halloween asking for treats.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by KlingKlang »

Peer pressure may not be the biggest factor here, it's the teachers and activity leaders who can be vindictive if your child doesn't participate in a fund raising event.

This doesn't stop at the schools either. My boss at a megacorp had a fit when I wouldn't donate to the United Way. I later found out that supervisors who had everyone in their department donate got to go to a fancy party at a country club and rub elbows with the brass.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by flyingbison »

KlingKlang wrote: This doesn't stop at the schools either. My boss at a megacorp had a fit when I wouldn't donate to the United Way. I later found out that supervisors who had everyone in their department donate got to go to a fancy party at a country club and rub elbows with the brass.
I once declined to participate in the United Way campaign at work, just to spite my director, who had 100% participation for many years prior to that.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by goodlifer »

My child goes to a public school. My sister's kids go to a Catholic school. Both schools drive us nuts with their monthly fundraisers, which does not include the lotteries, school spirit wear drives, the yearly donations, or the special community fundraisers. I would love to just write one check and be done with it but they do not give us that option. At least I'm not required to volunteer a certain amount of hours like my sister is, but I still volunteer a lot. I'm one of the few housewives in my daughter's class.

The only kids that knock on our doors are for Girl Scout cookies and the high school sport teams sell a discount card for local merchants. There are so many kids in the neighborhood that our door wouldn't stop ringing if they all went door to door. I typically just send a mass email to our family stating what is being sold and how much, and I let them know that the minimum has already been taken care of by us so there is no pressure. If anyone bites, I have my daughter call them with her sales pitch. I don't participate in all the sales. My daughter chooses which ones she wants and I decide how much to donate. If there is a special prize that they really want to win, my daughter will ask the teacher if they are short and I try to make up the difference. After her last "prize", I'm really tempted to say no. They won the right to chew a piece of gum in class on a certain day. I had to fill out a form stating that I am aware of the dangers of chewing gum and I consent to them providing medical treatment if needed (yes, really). I also had to verify that she was not allergic to any gum substance and agree to provide the gum. Then we received an email stating that we need to agree to pay for any damages involving said gum if my daughter inexplicably loses her one piece of gum. Later, a phone call to remind us that there will be gum in the class and that you were out of luck if you forgot your gum because there is to be NO SHARING WHATSOEVER!!! They really stressed that point. But my daughter said that everyone really enjoyed their piece of gum that day, so I guess it was worth it.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by barnaclebob »

Donate the amount your kid is supposed to raise and have your company match it. If the school will single your child out for not selling then call the principle and tell them you won't be donating anything next year.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by Texanbybirth »

Seems like your matching donation would be more beneficial that buying a few chocolate bunnies. I'd buy the minimum requirement to help the class get their goal or whatever, and then just donate what you feel called to donate behind the scenes. As someone else said, if your kid is made to feel alienated then kindly tell the school that you'll be cancelling all future donations. I don't think they'll have a problem keeping their mouths shut.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by mhc »

I don't like them, and in general my kids don't do them.

Although, when I was a kid, I use to go door to door selling stuff to raise money for the sports teams I participated in. I think it was a good experience to learn how to go door to door and try to sell something.
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remomnyc
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by remomnyc »

Our kids go to public school and we elected not to have them participate in any sales. We told the PTA and our children that we will be donating cash in lieu of their selling stuff and everyone seems fine with that. Our cash donations are typically larger than the profit the PTA would get from most children's sales efforts.
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Re: Should I have my kids participate in school fundraisers?

Post by texasdiver »

By my count there are three true evils in the modern world: ISIS, Ebola, and School Fundraisers.

I have 3 school age kids in local public schools and all three are also involved in sports and music that also have their own fundraisers so we get hit by about 10-15 a year. Not to mention we are in a very kid-friendly subdivision so we get lots of little kid door knockers with the mom standing out by the mailbox waiting. And I teach at a public school so I get hit all the time by my students.

Anymore I always just make a cash donation or buyout. Usually they are getting pretty good at coming up with buyout amounts so my kids can still do the pizza party or limo ride or whatever. I just keep track of all the donations and when it comes to tax time I write them all off as charitable donations and take the amount of school fund raiser spending off the top from what we were going to give to charity anyway. It all works out

I get that the schools are often short of funds. What really frosts me is when the independent youth sports leagues have fundraisers. Just raise the dang registration fee from $75 to $100 or whatever it needs to be to cover your costs and stop bothering us with fundraisers. It is almost exclusively middle class families. Come up with some volunteer options for those who can't afford it if necessary.
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