Prom budget for teenage girl?

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siamond
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by siamond » Sat Feb 21, 2015 7:37 pm

texasdiver wrote:Here's a question you guys should have fun with.
Thank you for that. My wife and myself had indeed great fun reading this thread, there were a couple of priceless one-liners... We are very relaxed about the whole thing because we have three boys, and two of them went through the experience having fun and without a big fuss (or expenses), so... we have absolutely no valuable advice to give you! Just wanted to thank you for a fun read! Good to see that you succeed to keep good humor about the whole thing, by the way. I think you'll manage well.

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interplanetjanet
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by interplanetjanet » Sat Feb 21, 2015 7:55 pm

MatSci wrote:If you don't know why, you clearly have not been watching your MTV, which feeds a constant stream of shows like My Super Sweet 16.
This is 2015. Do kids really still watch TV?

For a junior prom I don't see the need for big splurges. For a senior prom I'm ok with a $150-200 dress and a few hundred dollars of incidentals, but some of it I wouldn't really budget in my head as "prom" expenses...if my daughter's getting her hair and nails done I'll probably go with her and get mine done too, and mentally file the expense under "girls day out".

I live in an upper middle-class area but my children were raised on shopping at thrift and consignment stores, which they don't consider a burden so much as a treasure hunt. This has led to a lot of creativity in how they handle clothes, so that even when they're buying new they don't seem to have much of an urge to "keep up with the Janeses", and they're inclined to be creative dressers.

I think I'm being more than generous, to be honest. High school was just about the biggest pit of hell I was ever in, in my life, and I have trouble looking back on it with any sort of positivity; I tend to be pretty dismissive of attitudes like "you only have one senior prom and you'll remember it forever!". In my mind, high school is what you survive so that you can get to the good parts of life.

HIinvestor
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by HIinvestor » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:14 pm

We were very generous at paying for what our kids needed and wanted in HS and also college. S is one of the best money managers I've ever known (and I had thought I was good)! Agree that some of this can be considered special bonding time with your D--that's what D & I considered it. Don't overthink it and try to make it enjoyable for both you and your D. It really can be a fun and happy time, without drama and without breaking the bank.

island
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by island » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:14 pm

Spray tans? Must be a regional thing. I don't know any teens anywhere who would be caught dead with a spray tan. Could save on that. Could save by doing own nails; it's not that difficult. And makeup. Most teens don't need a face full of makeup or a dated updo for that matter.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Jack FFR1846 » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:33 pm

I always wondered why our town's high school only has a junior prom. There is no senior prom. Saving some of the rediculousness certainly helped. I have sons. Prom tic was $50. I think his share of the multi couple limo was $75. Tux rental about $100. He had no interest in after party.
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Rodc
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Rodc » Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:40 pm

This is 2015. Do kids really still watch TV?
Yes.

On their phone or tablet.
We live a world with knowledge of the future markets has less than one significant figure. And people will still and always demand answers to three significant digits.

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TxAg
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by TxAg » Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:00 pm

interplanetjanet wrote:
MatSci wrote:If you don't know why, you clearly have not been watching your MTV, which feeds a constant stream of shows like My Super Sweet 16.
This is 2015. Do kids really still watch TV?

For a junior prom I don't see the need for big splurges. For a senior prom I'm ok with a $150-200 dress and a few hundred dollars of incidentals, but some of it I wouldn't really budget in my head as "prom" expenses...if my daughter's getting her hair and nails done I'll probably go with her and get mine done too, and mentally file the expense under "girls day out".

I live in an upper middle-class area but my children were raised on shopping at thrift and consignment stores, which they don't consider a burden so much as a treasure hunt. This has led to a lot of creativity in how they handle clothes, so that even when they're buying new they don't seem to have much of an urge to "keep up with the Janeses", and they're inclined to be creative dressers.

I think I'm being more than generous, to be honest. High school was just about the biggest pit of hell I was ever in, in my life, and I have trouble looking back on it with any sort of positivity; I tend to be pretty dismissive of attitudes like "you only have one senior prom and you'll remember it forever!". In my mind, high school is what you survive so that you can get to the good parts of life.

I agree with everything you just said.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by drawpoker » Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:07 pm

I must really be out of touch. If the OP has a daughter, why are people mentioning cost of tickets, limousines, photographer pics? The girl's D A T E (guy) pays for all these things. Or have times changed?

It's been nearly 20 years since I went thru this but I was lucky. My daughter was (still is) reed thin and was able to wear the sample size prom/pageant gowns (size 2 or 4). Also, we had an outlets store within 20 miles where we got fabulous, knock-out designer gowns for both jr and sr proms, plus homecoming dance, plus graduation, at a fraction of cost. I especially remember a stunning Dior gown, size 2, original retail $350, marked down to $70. Of course, these were prices from the nineties, so adjust accordingly. Even if daughter cannot wear one of the sample sizes, still urge you to steer her to the outlet stores. There are still bargains, and I recall half the fun for my daughter and her pals was trying on soooo many different dresses.

Dress, shoes, bag, hair and nails, that was it. For the girl. Even all the florists where the guys got the date's corsages from supplied the guy's buttonaire (sp?) flower complimentary so the girl didn't have to worry about supplying that perk.

Around here, it is still customary, 15, 20 years later, for 4 or 5 couples to share the limousine for going to both the pre-prom dinner and the prom, to and from, so the cost is split among the 4 or 5 guys. I also learned that if the limo driver expects a handsome tip, he will look the other way and not enforce the rule about under-age drinking of alcohol in the limo.

At least that is the case around here (very rural, not urban area). Not sure exactly how I feel about that, somewhat conflicted. Maybe it is better, as others have posted, that limo companies knowingly break the law to keep these teenagers from getting behind wheel themselves on prom night.
Altho admit their motives are not exactly altruistic, the drivers are just focused on getting big tip at the end of the evening.

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interplanetjanet
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by interplanetjanet » Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:22 pm

drawpoker wrote:I must really be out of touch. If the OP has a daughter, why are people mentioning cost of tickets, limousines, photographer pics? The girl's D A T E (guy) pays for all these things. Or have times changed?
Times have changed some. Why are you assuming the date is a guy?

My older daughter has told me that she prefers to pay her own way (or have her way paid for by her parents) on big events like this, because she feels like she doesn't "owe" her date something just for his spending. As her mother, I'd prefer she didn't feel like she owed him either!

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by drawpoker » Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:29 pm

Well, er, I still don't understand. If a girl feels she is going to be pressured for sex from her date just on account of heavy expenses for the date, he is the wrong guy to go to the prom with.

Simple. No Deep Thinking required.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:05 pm

interplanetjanet wrote:
drawpoker wrote:I must really be out of touch. If the OP has a daughter, why are people mentioning cost of tickets, limousines, photographer pics? The girl's D A T E (guy) pays for all these things. Or have times changed?
Times have changed some. Why are you assuming the date is a guy?

My older daughter has told me that she prefers to pay her own way (or have her way paid for by her parents) on big events like this, because she feels like she doesn't "owe" her date something just for his spending. As her mother, I'd prefer she didn't feel like she owed him either!
Yes times have changed. While the kids who are actually already boyfriend/girlfriend will go to prom as couples, the rest generally seem not to. They tend to go in groups in which they may be semi-paired up but not so much. So say 6 kids will rent a limo together and to to dinner together and then on to prom. That's kind of the way they tend to go out all the time these days, not just for prom.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:13 pm

By the way...just to horrify you out-of-touch Bogleheads, according to ABC News, the national average prom cost is $1139 and the region of the US with the highest average costs is the Northeast where the average is $1,528, about double what people spend in the Midwest.

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/prom-cos ... d=19051387

I expect these are the same "average" people who have the national average of $91,000 in their 401(k) accounts. Sheesh.

drawpoker
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by drawpoker » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:28 pm

texasdiver, please, some clarification on this.

Times may have changed in Texas but certainly not in my neck of the woods.

Here, the guy pays for the prom tickets, pre-prom dinner at fancy restaurant, corsage, his share of the limo costs, the fee for the prom-authorized "official" photog who takes the pics under the scenery, his tux, what have I left out....?

As a practical matter, I will go so far as to say that for seniors going to prom, the female most likely already has a "steady", no more angst about being "asked" to go, so the whole issue of the poor "wallflower" shy dud of a girl who cannot get a date is pretty much a thing of the past. (?)

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by livesoft » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:30 pm

drawpoker wrote:Well, er, I still don't understand. If a girl feels she is going to be pressured for sex from her date just on account of heavy expenses for the date, he is the wrong guy to go to the prom with.

Simple. No Deep Thinking required.
Ha! Ha! The guy may get the pressure for sex from the girl, so I guess you still don't understand.

In other news, my son reports today that he bought a suit for $8 so that he doesn't have to borrow my suit anymore.
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by westie » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:32 pm

This is just training camp. Wait until they get married!

My daughter got married in December, she sold her wedding dress at a site called http://www.tradesy.com a couple weeks ago. Don't know what it cost (don't want to know) but she got back over 2K. You may want to try and sell the dress after the prom.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Silence Dogood » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:54 pm

My junior prom was in 2008; my senior prom was in 2009.

I drove my date to the prom in my 1995 Ford Mercury Sable.

We had a great time. No regrets.
Last edited by Silence Dogood on Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

drawpoker
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by drawpoker » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:56 pm

texasdiver wrote:By the way...just to horrify you out-of-touch Bogleheads, according to ABC News, the national average prom cost is $1139 and the region of the US with the highest average costs is the Northeast where the average is $1,528, about double what people spend in the Midwest.
Okay, we get it. But whether it is $l,139 or $1,528 - the guy pays the largest proportional cost, right, not the girl.

That's the way it has always been, and that's the way it should remain.

The point of this thread is what is a realistic amount for a teenaged G I R L and her parents to foot the bill for - not the guy.

Right?

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by stoptothink » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:56 pm

westie wrote:This is just training camp. Wait until they get married!

My daughter got married in December, she sold her wedding dress at a site called http://www.tradesy.com a couple weeks ago. Don't know what it cost (don't want to know) but she got back over 2K. You may want to try and sell the dress after the prom.
My first wife's wedding dress, $6k. The total cost of my 2nd wedding and reception, ~$500 (including her dress). At least I picked right the second time around.

If our daughter expects to spend more than the cost of our wedding and reception on a school dance (in 15 or so years), she better have a great after-school job.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Silence Dogood » Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:22 pm

drawpoker wrote:
texasdiver wrote:By the way...just to horrify you out-of-touch Bogleheads, according to ABC News, the national average prom cost is $1139 and the region of the US with the highest average costs is the Northeast where the average is $1,528, about double what people spend in the Midwest.
Okay, we get it. But whether it is $l,139 or $1,528 - the guy pays the largest proportional cost, right, not the girl.

That's the way it has always been, and that's the way it should remain.

The point of this thread is what is a realistic amount for a teenaged G I R L and her parents to foot the bill for - not the guy.

Right?
I'm fairly certain my girlfriend at the time (same girlfriend for junior and senior prom) spent more than I did.

I paid for the tickets and transportation (I drove). The tickets weren't all that much and it wasn't that far away.

She spent money on a dress, shoes, makeup, whatever else she did to get ready. I'm guessing all that added up to more than what I spent.

Anyway, I don't think it matters who spends more. The insistence of the guy needing to spend more sounds like some kind of strange insecurity..Not sure if there's anything more unattractive to a girl than that.

By the way, my younger sister spent $19 on her prom dress.

It's the experience, not the stuff, that matters.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Miriam2 » Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:28 pm

drawpoker wrote:I must really be out of touch. If the OP has a daughter, why are people mentioning cost of tickets, limousines, photographer pics? The girl's D A T E (guy) pays for all these things. Or have times changed?
Oh dear, drawpoker, you ask - "have times changed?"
Have they changed? :shock: Come spend a day in Miami 8-)
For this generation, many of these kids don't date - they go in groups. Boys don't ask girls out on dates. Girls don't expect to be asked out on dates. No, they do not "go steady." (I wish)
drawpoker wrote:Times may have changed in Texas but certainly not in my neck of the woods.
Here, the guy pays for the prom tickets, pre-prom dinner at fancy restaurant, corsage, his share of the limo costs, the fee for the prom-authorized "official" photog who takes the pics under the scenery, his tux, what have I left out....?
As a practical matter, I will go so far as to say that for seniors going to prom, the female most likely already has a "steady", no more angst about being "asked" to go, so the whole issue of the poor "wallflower" shy dud of a girl who cannot get a date is pretty much a thing of the past. (?)
Oh dear, drawpoker :shock:

This is no longer "Bye Bye Birdie"! - which, BTW, is one of my favorite Broadway musicals!
And one of my favorite songs from Bye Bye Birdie is:
"What's the matter with kids today?
Why can't they be like we were - perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?"

It's very different. One good thing about going out in groups is that they don't need "a date" to go to the prom, they just all go together, boys and girls, so no one is left out with hurt feelings.
But, what may not be so good about the group get-togethers is that they don't learn to deal with strong personal affectionate relationships early on, the one-on-one relationship. The "going steady" and "getting pinned" from Bye Bye Birdie days was the beginning of learning about lifetime commitments. I guess that's another subject. :happy

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by dolphinsaremammals » Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:34 pm

Silence Dogood wrote:
drawpoker wrote:
Okay, we get it. But whether it is $l,139 or $1,528 - the guy pays the largest proportional cost, right, not the girl.

That's the way it has always been, and that's the way it should remain.
I'm fairly certain my girlfriend at the time (same girlfriend for junior and senior prom) spent more than I did.

I paid for the tickets and transportation (I drove). The tickets weren't all that much and it wasn't that far away.

She spent money on a dress, shoes, makeup, whatever else she did to get ready. I'm guessing all that added up to more than what I spent.

Anyway, I don't think it matters who spends more. The insistence of the guy needing to spend more sounds like some kind of strange insecurity..Not sure if there's anything more unattractive to a girl than that.

By the way, my younger sister spent $19 on her prom dress.

It's the experience, not the stuff, that matters.
I was reading drawpoker's post and trying to remember another thread where we disagreed about money in terms of relationships. The context has vanished from my head. But drawpoker had posted something about how men had to spend a lot of money on women, or somesuch, which I found quite repellent.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by travellight » Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:47 pm

Speaking for the other sex, I just spent $800 on my sons prom attire, a tux with patent leather shoes. I consider it an investment because he can wear it for years. I will drive him there and back, no limo, and he is probably going solo and just hang out with friends.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by interplanetjanet » Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:10 am

texasdiver wrote:Yes times have changed. While the kids who are actually already boyfriend/girlfriend will go to prom as couples, the rest generally seem not to. They tend to go in groups in which they may be semi-paired up but not so much. So say 6 kids will rent a limo together and to to dinner together and then on to prom. That's kind of the way they tend to go out all the time these days, not just for prom.
I've definitely seen more of this - and prom is seen more as a chance to have a big party than a chance to pair off. I much prefer this, I think - it puts less pressure on kids and gives everyone a chance to get out there and just have fun. If this had been the norm when I was in HS I might have gone.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by interplanetjanet » Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:19 am

drawpoker wrote:Well, er, I still don't understand. If a girl feels she is going to be pressured for sex from her date just on account of heavy expenses for the date, he is the wrong guy to go to the prom with.

Simple. No Deep Thinking required.
At the risk of seeming insensitive, I don't think it's as simple as you make it out to be. I don't want to derail this thread any more, though.

"Going dutch" seems to be the norm now in my children's generation (or at least pretty commonplace), and I really do think this is progress. Sometimes they go out as couples, sometimes as groups, and it just seems simpler that way.

My daughters have prized attentiveness, responsibility, honesty and good communication in the boys they've been involved in. Too much ego or a need to pay for everything seem to be turnoffs.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by island » Sun Feb 22, 2015 1:52 am

travellight wrote:Speaking for the other sex, I just spent $800 on my sons prom attire, a tux with patent leather shoes. I consider it an investment because he can wear it for years. I will drive him there and back, no limo, and he is probably going solo and just hang out with friends.
Yeah maybe, if it still fits.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by HIinvestor » Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:04 am

Our D and her GFs tried to make sure that all the girls AND the guys in the group that were attending got along so that if they needed a break from their "date," they could converse and mingle with the rest of the group. All told, there were about 12 or more of them. It made finding a date more complicated but made it more relaxed so that no one felt forced to just talk with the date they came to the prom with. It worked well for them, for all the formal events they attended--JR prom, SR prom, and the banquets as well.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Caduceus » Sun Feb 22, 2015 3:28 am

Does everything have to be new? Isn't there a dress and nice shoes that she already has that she is proud to wear?

This was a long time ago, but I remember not having any money for a suit for prom and wasn't going to go. My boyfriend wanted to give me a surprise, but bought the wrong size, so I ended up going to a prom with clothes that were at least one size too large and in his shoes, which were definitely one size too large.

I had the most wonderful time, even with funny clothes and even after some kids called us faggots. Don't worry about it - it will likely be a magical night for your daughter no matter the kind of clothes you choose.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by dolphinsaremammals » Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:48 am

island wrote:
travellight wrote:Speaking for the other sex, I just spent $800 on my sons prom attire, a tux with patent leather shoes. I consider it an investment because he can wear it for years. I will drive him there and back, no limo, and he is probably going solo and just hang out with friends.
Yeah maybe, if it still fits.
My thought also.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by dolphinsaremammals » Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:49 am

Caduceus wrote:Does everything have to be new? Isn't there a dress and nice shoes that she already has that she is proud to wear?

This was a long time ago, but I remember not having any money for a suit for prom and wasn't going to go. My boyfriend wanted to give me a surprise, but bought the wrong size, so I ended up going to a prom with clothes that were at least one size too large and in his shoes, which were definitely one size too large.

I had the most wonderful time, even with funny clothes and even after some kids called us faggots. Don't worry about it - it will likely be a magical night for your daughter no matter the kind of clothes you choose.
That was sweet of him. Better clothes too big than too small.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:23 am

drawpoker wrote:texasdiver, please, some clarification on this.

Times may have changed in Texas but certainly not in my neck of the woods.

Here, the guy pays for the prom tickets, pre-prom dinner at fancy restaurant, corsage, his share of the limo costs, the fee for the prom-authorized "official" photog who takes the pics under the scenery, his tux, what have I left out....?

As a practical matter, I will go so far as to say that for seniors going to prom, the female most likely already has a "steady", no more angst about being "asked" to go, so the whole issue of the poor "wallflower" shy dud of a girl who cannot get a date is pretty much a thing of the past. (?)
What you are missing is that maybe 75% of the kids who go to prom do not go with an official date. They go in groups of friends and then immediately when they get their the guys are off hanging out together and the girls are off hanging out together. They may be paired off for the sake of photos and to keep the ratios even but even that isn't necessarily the case, even here in TX where same-sex HS couples are not uncommon anymore. So you assumption that guys pay for the majority of the cost is entirely out of date. Besides, for a girl the majority of the costs are not tickets and dinner.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by dolphinsaremammals » Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:24 pm

drawpoker wrote: As a practical matter, I will go so far as to say that for seniors going to prom, the female most likely already has a "steady", no more angst about being "asked" to go, so the whole issue of the poor "wallflower" shy dud of a girl who cannot get a date is pretty much a thing of the past. (?)
Excuse me, I was 14 at my junior prom, and my parents would have killed me if I'd been dating before I turned 16. Going to the prom was a class activity and didn't count (I invited a placeholder :-) guy from church.) Plus, what a concept, some kids are interested in studying to get into college, not spending their time on social stuff.

FredL
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by FredL » Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:14 pm

You should teach her BH, without spend too much money on dress and using the money to invest. Good money habit needs to be started early. How many people still have fond memory after 10 years.

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:47 am

FredL wrote:You should teach her BH, without spend too much money on dress and using the money to invest. Good money habit needs to be started early. How many people still have fond memory after 10 years.
Now there's a fun conversation to have with a 16 year old. "Honey, we're going to be Bogleheads this year and instead of the nice dress we're going to put the money in a low-fee Vanguard index fund for when you turn 59 and 1/2!!!"

Bobble-what Dad??!???

She'll live with the budget we give her because she'll have no choice. But I'll save the lesson on the Boglehead approach to investing for another day :D

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Miriam2 » Sat May 23, 2015 1:36 pm

texasdiver -
So - how did the prom go?
I'm sure your daughter looked really cute - the tomcats were probably hanging around all night 8-)
But, what about the B-U-D-G-E-T ?? Were you successful in keeping within the budget?
texasdiver wrote:
FredL wrote:You should teach her BH, without spend too much money on dress and using the money to invest. Good money habit needs to be started early. How many people still have fond memory after 10 years.
Now there's a fun conversation to have with a 16 year old. "Honey, we're going to be Bogleheads this year and instead of the nice dress we're going to put the money in a low-fee Vanguard index fund for when you turn 59 and 1/2!!!"
Bobble-what Dad??!???
She'll live with the budget we give her because she'll have no choice. But I'll save the lesson on the Boglehead approach to investing for another day :D
Could you share any tips you learned on how to teach girls to stick to their budget?? :happy

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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Sat May 23, 2015 1:57 pm

Actually we came out OK. She had a total everything included budget of $500 and came in under that. The dress was the biggest fiasco.

The first dress she bought online from a place called Prom Diary. It turned out to be a sweatshop operation in China. What they do is steal the photos of popular prom dresses from the major manufacturers and put them up on a web site at about an 80% discount. My daughter found a dress there that she wanted because she had seen the actual dress in a local shop. It was about $150 for a dress that sold for more like $800 in the local shops. However when the dress arrived it was not the same dress as in the web site photos but a very poorly made replica that was unwearable in the opinion of the wife and daughter. That meant a last minute whirlwind trip to the formal shops in Dallas where my wife was resigned to having to spend some real cash. But at the last shop they visited they were extremely lucky to find a dress that my daughter really liked in her size that was marked down 75%. There was a minor stain on the hem at the back which wasn't even visible because the long skirt was so folded, but the shop had to discount it. So she ended up with a dress for about the same price of $150 that she liked. Similar to the princess dress from the movie Frozen I guess...ice blue. Without that happy find we would have been way over budget.

As for the rest of it, her "group" all decided to skip the limo and just drive in their own cars which saved a bunch. Dinner was paid for by the guys. Shoes were bought somewhere local and not expensive. The rest of it...hair, makeup, spray tan, tickets, after prom party tickets, etc. filled out the rest of the budget. My wife handled all of it and watched the $$$ like a hawk. Turned out that nothing was so important that the daughter decided she had to spend her own money.

Setting a total budget from the beginning that was high enough to seem generous but to which we were serious about seemed to work. The worst case scenario is to line item each cost separately which opens up fights about every line item.

Now we the precedent set for next year which is a load off. $500 was high enough so that daughter didn't feel like she was being deprived of the full prom experience but it was a sum we could live with. Apparently some of her friend's mothers spent 3x that amount which I find astonishing.

drawpoker
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by drawpoker » Sat May 23, 2015 5:13 pm

texasdiver wrote:.... first dress she bought online from a place called Prom Diary..... was about $150 for a dress that sold for more like $800 in the local shops.
Apparently she was lucky a dress arrived at all, based on the reviews posted about this Prom Diary place.
Maybe this was a good lesson (?) for a young person to learn about merchandise scams over the internet.

http://www.sitejabber.com/reviews/www.promdiary.com

Have you filed a dispute with credit card over the scam purchase? Seems that would be the only avenue to get that $150 back.

(It's not humor to the victims, of course, but you have to laugh at the "review" posted from the person who thought she was ordering a beaded gown. Yup, the dress arrived.
With a big plastic bag containing hundreds of beads, a needle, and thread to match. :shock: )

texasdiver
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by texasdiver » Sat May 23, 2015 7:17 pm

drawpoker wrote:
texasdiver wrote:.... first dress she bought online from a place called Prom Diary..... was about $150 for a dress that sold for more like $800 in the local shops.
Apparently she was lucky a dress arrived at all, based on the reviews posted about this Prom Diary place.
Maybe this was a good lesson (?) for a young person to learn about merchandise scams over the internet.

http://www.sitejabber.com/reviews/www.promdiary.com

Have you filed a dispute with credit card over the scam purchase? Seems that would be the only avenue to get that $150 back.

(It's not humor to the victims, of course, but you have to laugh at the "review" posted from the person who thought she was ordering a beaded gown. Yup, the dress arrived.
With a big plastic bag containing hundreds of beads, a needle, and thread to match. :shock: )
Yes, we filed a dispute with Bank of America and got the charges reversed. I forgot to add that detail. Took some paperwork and additional documentation but they ended up approving the dispute.

And yes, it was a good lesson sort of. Except that it gave more ammunition to daughter's argument that "SEE!, we really do need to spend $800 on a prom dress like some my friend's moms are doing!"

sambb
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by sambb » Sat May 23, 2015 7:23 pm

never mind

Miriam2
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Re: Prom budget for teenage girl?

Post by Miriam2 » Sat May 23, 2015 8:33 pm

texasdiver wrote:Setting a total budget from the beginning that was high enough to seem generous but to which we were serious about seemed to work. The worst case scenario is to line item each cost separately which opens up fights about every line item. . . . $500 was high enough so that daughter didn't feel like she was being deprived of the full prom experience but it was a sum we could live with.
This seems like good, reasonable advice!
The difficulty with girls (being one myself, I understand :happy ) is the staying "serious" about it.
texasdiver wrote:And yes, it [the Chinese on-line dress fiasco] was a good lesson sort of. Except that it gave more ammunition to daughter's argument that "SEE!, we really do need to spend $800 on a prom dress like some my friend's moms are doing!"
Oh yes, I do see - with daughters, it is almost impossible to win. It ends up a truce. :happy
Your story about the Chinese on-line prom dress fiasco is one of the funniest daughter-stories I've heard, although I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time. You have some good prom memories however!

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