When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

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midareff
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by midareff » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:07 am

When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

After they have grown up, been educated and moved out.

Bacchus01
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by Bacchus01 » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:15 am

Never thought about it. Wouldn't have done it any different. Started having kids when we made about 1/10th of what I make now. Felt richer than than I do now.

Crow Hunter
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by Crow Hunter » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:18 am

After I was settled in my career and we had a nice buffer built up we had been married about 7 years.

Then we found out that she couldn't have children...

Had we started earlier, we would have had a MUCH better chance.

Don't wait too long.

supersharpie
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by supersharpie » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:23 am

My wife and I are 31. We don't think we will be having children and it is for reasons of time rather than money. With that said, I would feel comfortable financially if we earned enough to pay for all regular annual child-related expenses and have enough left over both to max out all tax advantaged retirement vehicles ($36k into 401ks + $11k into Roth IRAs) and finance a modest annual family vacation. We are nearing that point, but probably aren't quite there yet.

vveat
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by vveat » Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:32 am

For us it was about getting at least some foothold and stability in a new country. We moved to the US a month after getting married - a couple of years of MBA (incurring a 6-figure debt) and the first couple of years on the job didn't feel right to start a family since we had no safety net and I was working crazy hours to get well established. We thought we had plenty of time since I was just 32, but as it turned out just deciding to have a kid didn't make a kid appear. It took us 4 years of trying and IVFs to get there.

In hindsight I still wouldn't have gone for a kid during the MBA years, but would have started trying a year earlier. I'll add my voice to the "don't wait too long" crowd.

Herekittykitty
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by Herekittykitty » Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:35 am

I never felt comfortable enough financially to have kids.

Good thing for the three of them that I didn't wait.

:D
I don't know anything.

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czeckers
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by czeckers » Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:13 pm

People who run the numbers regarding how much it costs to raise kids I think use figures based on what they would want their kids to have. The truth is, what kids actually need is considerably less. You will probably never feel financially ready, but keep in mind, people raise children on far far less then you imagine. I know a number of families with 4-10 kids who make less than $50,000 year and yes, it's sometimes challenging but they get by, and every one of them would do it over again if given the chance.

The one thing that you need to raise children is energy. Unfortunately, as you get older and you advance in your career and become financially comfortable, energy will be something you will have less and less of. We tried to start a family right out of college but were unable to because of miscarriages. We eventually managed to start a family that then kept on growing and growing. :D We had our eighth child when I was 40, and it is definitely harder keeping up now, than it was 12-15 years ago. We are financially comfortable now, but I look fondly back on the poor days during residency because we definitely did more because of a higher energy level.

Have your children while you are young. You will never get your youth back. The rest will work itself out.

-K
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epilnk
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by epilnk » Sat Nov 29, 2014 8:33 pm

You have your children when you are ready. Most people have a vision of the kind of family life they have in mind, and know what they need to achieve it. This varies.

If you are risk averse you make sure you have your finances well settled, but everyone here has a different risk threshold and nobody can tell you what yours should be. If you have a family history of health problems, you might want to have your kids on the early side. If your career requires a PhD, starting a family early may not be an option. If you have a lot of family support, you may not need quite as much financial security; if you are on your own, money is an excellent buffer against the unexpected curveballs that life will throw you. Children don't need much in the way of material advantages, but when your child has a chronic illness or disability there is nothing quite as wonderful as money.

My husband and I each finished grad school at age 29. We both had student loans to begin repaying, fairly low incomes in our first positions after grad school, and we are both financially conservative. We paid off the loans, built a nest egg, bought a house, and started our family on the late side. We don't regret waiting - neither of us wanted our children any earlier, before we were ready. You will know when you are ready, and don't let anyone tell you that you should be more or less ready than you actually are.

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Zabar
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by Zabar » Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:20 am

For me, it wasn't a matter of feeling comfortable financially. It was a matter of feeling comfortable in my marriage. I didn't want to have a child and then go through a divorce. We've been married 26 years and have a child who's now in graduate school, so it seems to have worked out.

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StevieG72
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Re: When do you feel comfortable financially to have kids?

Post by StevieG72 » Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:26 am

Zabar wrote:For me, it wasn't a matter of feeling comfortable financially. It was a matter of feeling comfortable in my marriage. I didn't want to have a child and then go through a divorce. We've been married 26 years and have a child who's now in graduate school, so it seems to have worked out.


+100!!!!!!

Enjoy some more time together without the stress of kids. Solidify your marriage, travel, enjoy life a little. Children are enjoyable but also stressfull.

I would be hesitant at your age. Kids are a game changer. It will add exponenential stress on your relationship, MANY marriages fail within 3yrs of having the first child.

If you think your finances are iffy now, try adding alimony and child support!

My exwife and I had our child 14 months after getting married, our marriage fell apart roughly 30 months later.

My kid is the joy of my life! I would not trade her for the world. I have always wanted the best for her, and growing up in a broken home was not part of the plan but it happens more often than you may realize.

Best of luck to you and your wife!
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

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