Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending on?

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
lightheir
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by lightheir » Tue Mar 25, 2014 6:25 pm

Not even joking mildly regretting not even having anything to regret spending foolishly on. I'm learning that those foolish memories are indeed worth something, as long as you don't mortgage the future on those foolish young adult expenditures.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:21 pm

No regrets - I've spent money on the things that counted, saved money by not wasting it on things of questionable value. Ton's of great memories, would do it all over again if I could go back in time. :happy Spending does not mean you have to empty out the bank account, some of my lowest expenditures provided the best experiences.
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions

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jackpullo997
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:33 pm

scone wrote:Dental work. If I had done some "optional" things about 20 years ago, I would have a lot less trouble now. I also regret not buying Apple stock when I first saw the Lisa, and thought to myself, "this will change the world." I wasn't even thinking about making money on it, just how cool it was. :oops:
You would have lost 2/3 of your money before you made any profits...

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HomerJ
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by HomerJ » Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:59 pm

jackpullo997 wrote:
scone wrote:Dental work. If I had done some "optional" things about 20 years ago, I would have a lot less trouble now. I also regret not buying Apple stock when I first saw the Lisa, and thought to myself, "this will change the world." I wasn't even thinking about making money on it, just how cool it was. :oops:
You would have lost 2/3 of your money before you made any profits...
And, if you had held on, you would have sold most of it after it doubled or tripled the first time...

I don't know anyone who fully captures a ten-bagger... After it doubles, almost everyone sells some of their stake, usually 50%... If it doubles again, most people sell some more to "lock in their gains"

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WeMigr8
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by WeMigr8 » Wed Mar 26, 2014 5:31 pm

Quality carpeting. We "cheaped out" the last time we replaced our truly awful wall-to-wall thinking that we'd be "moving up" soon enough so why spend more than we absolutely needed to. FF a few years and we're still waiting to "move up", that cheap carpet is again truly awful and seriously needing to be replaced. But next time we'll pop for better quality and durability. Replacing wall-to-wall carpeting is not an easy job and having to do it again "so soon" is not worth the few bucks we saved. We'll pay the extra to have them move the furniture out next time too! (Only saved $200.00 by DIYing that part, but DH was determined :annoyed ). And the next time we move, we're hiring MOVERS instead of borrowing trucks and trailers and DIYing it... we're getting too old and it takes too darn much time to DIY a household move :!:

tidalwave10
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by tidalwave10 » Sat Mar 29, 2014 8:54 am

Randomize wrote:
DouglasDoug wrote:A ticket to see Lena Horne's great comeback, & generosity to now dead friends.
That reminds me: Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio tickets just before he died :(
+1. Never seen Dio live and now that window of opportunity has closed forever. Some regrets you can remedy--some you cannot. Remedy those you can while the window's still open.

After being a lifelong Rush fan, and having just now seen them live for the first time ever, I've pledged to see them on each future tour for as long as they grace us with their stage presence. Don't know how many more years they will tour. It's said Geddy will be the one who causes them to ultimately call it quits (vocal range / strain). Though I'd be content to see them live playing all instrumentals--as they're three of the most exceptional musicians on the planet. Ged being my favorite bassist of all time and Neil being arguably the best living rock drummer.

tidalwave10
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by tidalwave10 » Sat Mar 29, 2014 8:59 am

MrMiyagi wrote:I think one thing the YOLO crowd has right, is spending money on travel and any physically demanding activities when you are young and able to do these things. I'm only in my mid 30s, but my knees are shot. I really regret not participating in things in my youth that fall into those categories, but now I can't do due to health and work schedule constraints.
...
Health and time are two things you can't buy back, no matter how rich you are. Material goods are something I really don't care about, so no regrets foregoing those. You can always buy those at a later time anyway.
+1

To quote George Bernard Shaw: "Youth is wasted on the young."

Maximize travel to the far reaches (if travel is a passion) while you're healthy, energetic, and mobile enough to do so. A loss in all three characteristics seems assured as one ages. Memories last forever--at least until Dementia kicks in. Talk about Opportunity Loss...

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by investor1 » Sun Mar 30, 2014 7:39 pm

There isn't much for me yet, but there is still a lot of time. My only regret so far is not buying Netflix stock when it was at $65/share about 1.5 years ago. I was pretty new to investing and still trying to wrap my head around which mutal funds I should buy. Had I bought it, I would have been up around $40k which would have gone into the new house fund and would put me in a good spot to rather easily pick up something that I would be very happy in with a 15 year mortgage.

Down the road I might say traveling, but I have been doing a decent job of fixing that over the past few years.

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jackpullo997
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:32 pm

One thing I've never cheaped out on is concert tickets.

When we were making insane amounts of money trading dotcom stocks and IPOs
I was buying $150 tickets in the front row. Big time, baby!

LeeMKE
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by LeeMKE » Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:41 pm

Not spending a semester studying abroad while I was in college.
I couldn't do it the first time around either. But I retired early and am doing a semester in Paris next winter.
The mightiest Oak is just a nut who stayed the course.

inky
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by inky » Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:20 pm

LeeMKE wrote:But I retired early and am doing a semester in Paris next winter.
That sounds very cool. What kind of program is it, if you don't mind sharing?

avalpert
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by avalpert » Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:01 pm

Leesbro63 wrote:Funny because I splurged for a professional photographer for a big family event in 2003. But at a similar event in 2007 I hired a kid for a few hundred dollars. I still regret spending all that money the first time. I will admit that between 2003 and 2007 the world went digital and my comfort with amateur photos had increased. But, still, the professional was really a waste. And now, in 2014, amateur photos are way good enough. I would not want to be in the professional photography business today.
I disagree with that. We just had a family event and plenty of amateurs were taking simultaneous posed photos with the professionals - the quality of the professionals photos were measurably better than any of the amateurs.

Now whether that quality is worth the price depends on how much you value the pictures.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by avalpert » Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:15 pm

I think regret is too strong a word, but in retrospect I should have been looser with spending when I was in my 20's particularly on small things that provided little savings (like dessert while backpacking through Asia where it cost less than a dollar).

I almost never skimped on experiences, for example even at my poorest backpacking in Egypt while studying abroad in college I wasn't going to not pay the $100 to they Nefertaris tomb, I mean even if was to return to Luxor it was likely to be closed to the public by then as it has been since 2003. Skiing the Matterhorn earlier that year, same idea. I still backpack when I travel, I'm still fairly cheap, but now it don't even have to think about paying for the unique experiences this world has to offer.

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jackpullo997
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:26 pm

avalpert wrote:
Leesbro63 wrote:Funny because I splurged for a professional photographer for a big family event in 2003. But at a similar event in 2007 I hired a kid for a few hundred dollars. I still regret spending all that money the first time. I will admit that between 2003 and 2007 the world went digital and my comfort with amateur photos had increased. But, still, the professional was really a waste. And now, in 2014, amateur photos are way good enough. I would not want to be in the professional photography business today.
I disagree with that. We just had a family event and plenty of amateurs were taking simultaneous posed photos with the professionals - the quality of the professionals photos were measurably better than any of the amateurs.

Now whether that quality is worth the price depends on how much you value the pictures.
+1. Photography. You get what you pay for.
Good equipment costs thousands of dollars.

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vitaflo
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by vitaflo » Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:39 pm

A Sonor Artist Series Snare Drum that I've wanted for a while. I saw one on eBay for $650 (they normally go for double that) and had the window open for hours hemming and hawing over whether "I really needed to spend $650 right now". Eventually someone bought it, and I've never seen one since for less than $1k. I keep kicking myself over that one.

marstaton4
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by marstaton4 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:06 am

jackpullo997 wrote: +1. Photography. You get what you pay for.
Good equipment costs thousands of dollars.
As a professional photographer I'd somewhat disagree. Some people charge a boatload of money to shoot something and it might not be great, and some people will do it for just about nothing because they like doing it and don't know the value in their work.

Most of the really good people know they are good, and will charge for it.

Just my opinion.

But you're right about good equipment typically being expensive. Wrapping up my taxes for 2013 and my CC statement shows I spent nearly 30k last year on gear.

lightheir
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by lightheir » Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:11 am

avalpert wrote:
Leesbro63 wrote:Funny because I splurged for a professional photographer for a big family event in 2003. But at a similar event in 2007 I hired a kid for a few hundred dollars. I still regret spending all that money the first time. I will admit that between 2003 and 2007 the world went digital and my comfort with amateur photos had increased. But, still, the professional was really a waste. And now, in 2014, amateur photos are way good enough. I would not want to be in the professional photography business today.
I disagree with that. We just had a family event and plenty of amateurs were taking simultaneous posed photos with the professionals - the quality of the professionals photos were measurably better than any of the amateurs.

Now whether that quality is worth the price depends on how much you value the pictures.
I say that plenty of pro photogs are worth their rate and more, but I can say for sure that plenty of my own amateur SLR photos, and especially some of my amateur friends photos (who have better gear than I do) exceed what I've payed for for professional photography.

There is no doubt that the gap between pro and amateur photography has narrowed hugely do to the consumerization and digitalization of cameras and software.

That said, I think it's pretty safe to say that in general, the odds that you'll get consistently good or high quality photos at an event are probably higher with a hired pro photographer than compared with your DIY buddy, who MIGHT take stellar photos, but also might not, or not be working long enough to get all of them. (Who wants to spend 6 hours shooting photos for free at a wedding of people you don't even know?)

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by irishbear99 » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:31 pm

Agree with the comments on the semester abroad. I wanted to apply to my school's exchange program, but my parents would not approve (oddly enough, not for monetary reasons). Their denial, however, really cemented my desire to see the world, and I've made it a priority since graduation.

The only other things I regret are not seeing GNR or Stevie Ray Vaughn in concert. Now, any time there's a band or artist in my general vicinity I want to see, I do. You never know when a band's going to break up or a helicopter's going to crash and you lose that opportunity for good. (Or, as Monty Python put it, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.")

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Barefootgirl » Sat Apr 12, 2014 9:50 pm

I regret not seeing some of my favorite music artists in the 70s and 80s when they played with strength and passion and tickets often sold for around $20.

Now, these same groups want upwards of $400/ticket to watch them sway slowly back and forth on stage with weaker vocals and weaker playing ability.

BFG
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by JonnyDVM » Sat Apr 12, 2014 11:30 pm

The posts lamenting missing a buying opportunity to make more money really crack me up. Your biggest frugality regret is not investing more? It's like a forum filled with Scrooge McDucks. We are not shy about spending on travel so I don't have a ton of regrets. I would say I wished I had gone on my high school Spanish trip to Spain. I thought it was too expensive so I didn't ask my parents but I suspect they would have sent me and I'm sure it would have been a great experience. We did go last July though so it's not like I never got to go. I also tried on a ski jacket about 5 years ago that was awesome. Looked great on me too. Had a $150 price tag though so I went with a cheaper $40 coat that fell apart. Should have sprung for the nice one. Other than that I really don't have any frugality regrets. YOLO!
Last edited by JonnyDVM on Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by lululu » Sun Apr 13, 2014 6:57 am

I should spend more money on having house and yard improvements done. I am always thinking I will do it myself, that it is nonsense to pay other people money for things I can do myself, then the projects drag on forever unfinished, esp. as I get older.

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jackpullo997
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:53 am

Barefootgirl wrote:I regret not seeing some of my favorite music artists in the 70s and 80s when they played with strength and passion and tickets often sold for around $20.
Now, these same groups want upwards of $400/ticket to watch them sway slowly back and forth on stage with weaker vocals and weaker playing ability.
BFG
What are some specific bands you passed up?

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jackpullo997
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:54 am

lululu wrote:I should spend more money on having house and yard improvements done. I am always thinking I will do it myself, that it is nonsense to pay other people money for things I can do myself, then the projects drag on forever unfinished, esp. as I get older.
The reason we save is to make life easier.
Hire the people and enjoy the fact that you can afford these luxuries.
Make a time limit for a project. If it's still not done, you'll never do it. Farm it out.

Ivygirl
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Ivygirl » Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:00 am

I almost regretted something.

I used to live in a pretty tough neighborhood in a certain hot and muggy city that didn't use enough air conditioning. I had packed my laundry to the laundromat on my back and the place was like a furnace, so I went outside and sat on the step, just wishing the dang washer would hurry up so I could go home, because I had air conditioning at home. No way could I leave my laundry unsupervised in that place.

A young man came down the sidewalk looking pretty draggled and beat and he asked me for some money to buy something cold to drink. All I had was some quarters to dry my laundry and I told him so. He went inside, evidently to ask other people, and he came back out fast, slamming the door, with the most awful expression of rage and rejection on his face. Evidently nobody would give him anything and I guess they had been pretty rough running him off. He went off down the street with his head down and his shoulders hunched.

Following a young man around can be misinterpreted so I sat there worrying about it until he was almost out of sight. I caught up with him two blocks later and gave him my quarters. The change of expression on his face made me so happy that I did. He looked as though he had been born again from a very dark place. I packed my wet laundry home and hung it up to dry and it was all OK.

I'm so glad I don't have that to regret.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Sun Apr 13, 2014 12:57 pm

Ivygirl wrote:I almost regretted something.

I used to live in a pretty tough neighborhood in a certain hot and muggy city that didn't use enough air conditioning. I had packed my laundry to the laundromat on my back and the place was like a furnace, so I went outside and sat on the step, just wishing the dang washer would hurry up so I could go home, because I had air conditioning at home. No way could I leave my laundry unsupervised in that place.

A young man came down the sidewalk looking pretty draggled and beat and he asked me for some money to buy something cold to drink. All I had was some quarters to dry my laundry and I told him so. He went inside, evidently to ask other people, and he came back out fast, slamming the door, with the most awful expression of rage and rejection on his face. Evidently nobody would give him anything and I guess they had been pretty rough running him off. He went off down the street with his head down and his shoulders hunched.

Following a young man around can be misinterpreted so I sat there worrying about it until he was almost out of sight. I caught up with him two blocks later and gave him my quarters. The change of expression on his face made me so happy that I did. He looked as though he had been born again from a very dark place. I packed my wet laundry home and hung it up to dry and it was all OK.

I'm so glad I don't have that to regret.
Sweet story. Refreshing.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Ivygirl » Sun Apr 13, 2014 1:43 pm

I think what it takes to avoid regret is not so much money, because the amount is often trifling, but courage. Be brave and you won't have regrets.

Prefer the greater thing to the lesser, no quarter given to cowardice, and full steam ahead. That might mean a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Spain. It might mean staying home with a child or a sick relative. It might mean an awesome coat that makes you feel like a millionaire, when a lesser coat would do for awhile. Oddly enough it applies to saving too, because the goal of financial security means you have to bravely prefer it to a lot of lesser clamoring desires.

protagonist
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:29 am

Ivygirl wrote:I think what it takes to avoid regret is not so much money, because the amount is often trifling, but courage. Be brave and you won't have regrets.

Prefer the greater thing to the lesser, no quarter given to cowardice, and full steam ahead. That might mean a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Spain. It might mean staying home with a child or a sick relative. It might mean an awesome coat that makes you feel like a millionaire, when a lesser coat would do for awhile. Oddly enough it applies to saving too, because the goal of financial security means you have to bravely prefer it to a lot of lesser clamoring desires.
I agree with this in practice. I don't understand how buying a coat or taking care of a sick child takes courage...they both seem like normal and natural things to do to me.... but maybe I am missing something. As far as regrets go....that to which you give your attention only grows stronger in your life. I stand by what I said about your story of chasing the homeless guy down from the laundromat to give him quarters being touching and refreshing. Here it seems like regrets are usually about money- I think (and hope) that is because the focus of this forum is money and thus that is what people discuss here- not because money matters are really the source of the participants' greatest regrets and all they think about. I'm saying this because you seem like you are new here, and I don't want you to get the wrong opinion.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Ivygirl » Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:08 pm

protagonist wrote:I agree with this in practice. I don't understand how buying a coat or taking care of a sick child takes courage...they both seem like normal and natural things to do to me.... but maybe I am missing something. As far as regrets go....that to which you give your attention only grows stronger in your life. I stand by what I said about your story of chasing the homeless guy down from the laundromat to give him quarters being touching and refreshing. Here it seems like regrets are usually about money- I think (and hope) that is because the focus of this forum is money and thus that is what people discuss here- not because money matters are really the source of the participants' greatest regrets and all they think about. I'm saying this because you seem like you are new here, and I don't want you to get the wrong opinion.
People are afraid of different things. If you buy a coat that makes you look like a millionaire, people will look at you because of your coat. You might get compliments. Strangers might call you "sir" or "ma'am." Gee, that's an extra hundred dollars not put in savings, I just can't risk that. Does this sound silly? Of course it is. Step on out. Buy the coat!

It does take courage to leave the workforce and do what you believe needs to be done, either to stay home with small children or cut short one's working life to take care of, say, an elderly parent. Your Social Security will be smaller, your savings will stall or even be depleted, your life will be restricted to someone else's needs.

Frugality can cause a kind of fear that makes us prefer the lesser thing to the greater sometimes, just out of the habit of always considering the money angle. The money can start to look a little too big, and the better thing can start to look a little too small - and a person could end up with a regret.

Of course I know that Bogleheads have hearts. They just like talking about money - and so do I.

Now I want a really nice coat. Hey - it's April. They're on sale! :dollar

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Barefootgirl » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:14 pm

I once heard someone describe frugality as a "scarcity mindset" - along the lines that what you believe, you attract, following that if you fear being poor, you will be poor.

For me, it's just a form of risk management, tempered by the knowledge that not everything is under my control.

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Will do good
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Will do good » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:37 pm

Instead of buying $1000 in Apple when it was $3.25, should have brought $2K or 5K… :greedy

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Dulocracy » Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:01 pm

I do a good bit of family law. On the humorous side: I have a client that I met with last week that said he was worried about the cost of condoms where they were provided (at an apparent large markup). He had an experience later that evening where the purchase would have been useful. His costs in attorneys' are more than the item he forwent.

Personally, the one moment in life that I regret not giving money was to a homeless guy in London. I was 12, fumbling around, and blocking the path. I found a 5 pence piece (which I thought would be insulting), and a Pound (which I knew to be about $2 and thought was more than I should give (at 12 in London, it seemed like a lot). He was not like some homeless that you question if they really are. He looked as though he suffered from mal-nutrition. My parents encouraged me to stop blocking the path. I moved on without searching further. That single Pound could have been food for him. I still remember the look in his eyes.

I do not regret any missed purchases. I have been careful not to be stingy when it comes to life experiences. I do not throw my money away, but I do not miss the experiences if they are available.
I'm not a financial professional. Post is info only & not legal advice. No attorney-client relationship exists with reader. Scrutinize my ideas as if you spoke with a guy at a bar. I may be wrong.

protagonist
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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:31 pm

Dulocracy wrote:I do a good bit of family law. On the humorous side: I have a client that I met with last week that said he was worried about the cost of condoms where they were provided (at an apparent large markup). He had an experience later that evening where the purchase would have been useful. His costs in attorneys' are more than the item he forwent.

Personally, the one moment in life that I regret not giving money was to a homeless guy in London. I was 12, fumbling around, and blocking the path. I found a 5 pence piece (which I thought would be insulting), and a Pound (which I knew to be about $2 and thought was more than I should give (at 12 in London, it seemed like a lot). He was not like some homeless that you question if they really are. He looked as though he suffered from mal-nutrition. My parents encouraged me to stop blocking the path. I moved on without searching further. That single Pound could have been food for him. I still remember the look in his eyes.

I do not regret any missed purchases. I have been careful not to be stingy when it comes to life experiences. I do not throw my money away, but I do not miss the experiences if they are available.
Excellent.

And by the way, I don't buy your client's story. I think he just didn't like condoms.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by ubermax » Tue Apr 15, 2014 2:20 pm

tennisplyr wrote:I bought a new tennis racket a few years ago. I only got one because I was cheap, now they don't make it anymore. Oh well.
Tennisplyr , was it the Prince woody ?? my doubles partner bought 10 of them just in time - but now you can still get them on Ebay :happy

To the OP's question , my wife & I regret not buying a second home on Cape Cod about 25-30 years ago - bad forecasting , our salaries did rise :(

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Dave1 » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:15 pm

JonnyDVM wrote:The posts lamenting missing a buying opportunity to make more money really crack me up. Your biggest frugality regret is not investing more? It's like a forum filled with Scrooge McDucks.

snip

!
:wink: Well this will crack you up too. Just the other day I was regretting not buying gold when it was at fraction of it's current price. Other than that, I don't think I have any regrets.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Ivygirl » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:41 pm

Dulocracy wrote:Personally, the one moment in life that I regret not giving money was to a homeless guy in London. I was 12, fumbling around, and blocking the path. I found a 5 pence piece (which I thought would be insulting), and a Pound (which I knew to be about $2 and thought was more than I should give (at 12 in London, it seemed like a lot). He was not like some homeless that you question if they really are. He looked as though he suffered from mal-nutrition. My parents encouraged me to stop blocking the path. I moved on without searching further. That single Pound could have been food for him. I still remember the look in his eyes.
My post about the young man outside the laundromat wandered into the weeds a bit in that it didn't directly address the OP's question. I started thinking about the decision-making process, and what all goes into making a decision that later causes regret.

The story I told could serve as a textbook example of the thinking process that leads to a regretted spending decision - except for the redeeming burst of grace at the end.

I saw him coming. I thought, "Don't come here." He got closer, and I saw his need: I thought, "Don't need anything from me." He looked at me and I looked down, and thought, "Don't speak to me." He spoke to me and asked me for something, and I thought of reasons to say no (I mean I had to dry my laundry, right? And I only had a couple dollars in quarters, hardly enough to matter. I was, well, almost poor myself, right? He's a man, why is a man asking me for money?). I was happy that I had a "good" reason to deny his request. He went inside to ask other people and I thought, "Good, somebody else will step up, somebody who has more, somebody who is a better fit with his request, somebody who does this kind of stuff all the time."

Then he came back out... and I saw how small all those swarms of considerations were, how small I was.

But still I hesitated. I feared being misunderstood. I feared doing it wrong. I feared making things worse. I feared "blocking the path." What a dummy I was. I should have given him the money at once. Two dollars! Jeez. I never would have forgotten that, for the rest of my life, just like Dulocracy remembers from when he was 12.

It was the look on his face that impelled me to run after him. No human being should look like that, not if I have the power to do anything about it. That was the greater thing I should have instantly preferred to the lesser. I would like to say that the quarters didn't matter... but I am afraid they did. I wanted to keep my quarters.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Professor Emeritus » Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:00 pm

jackpullo997 wrote:
avalpert wrote:
Leesbro63 wrote:Funny because I splurged for a professional photographer for a big family event in 2003. But at a similar event in 2007 I hired a kid for a few hundred dollars. I still regret spending all that money the first time. I will admit that between 2003 and 2007 the world went digital and my comfort with amateur photos had increased. But, still, the professional was really a waste. And now, in 2014, amateur photos are way good enough. I would not want to be in the professional photography business today.
I disagree with that. We just had a family event and plenty of amateurs were taking simultaneous posed photos with the professionals - the quality of the professionals photos were measurably better than any of the amateurs.

Now whether that quality is worth the price depends on how much you value the pictures.
+1. Photography. You get what you pay for.
Good equipment costs thousands of dollars.
Its not (just) the equipment. Photography is an art form. Artists have an eye that escapes most of us.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by poker27 » Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:24 pm

Yesterday was my lady friends fathers funeral. He unexpectedly passed away at 70. Thankfully he retired at 60 after spending 35 years as a firefighter, and had 5 good years of retirement before getting hit with Parkinsons. He went from golfing 4 days a week and long active vacations, to hardly being able to walk with a walker. During his wake old friends and family would bring up memories about vacations, parties, fishing, boozing with him. Which all can be expensive, but nobody brought up possessions. I'm sure when I'm about to go I'm not going to think about the fond memories of wearing a rolex (which I am currently looking at). Just thinking out loud.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:01 am

Poker's post above made me think of something.

As a physician, I have heard countless stories of life's regrets from people in their dying moments.

They are all over the map. Not spending more time with loved ones. Not having more children. Not learning to play the piano. Not marrying the girl of their dreams. Never seeing Europe. Not going to college. You name it.

Except I never recall anybody regretting not making more money.

This does not directly speak to the OP's question, but I find it interesting.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Barefootgirl » Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:08 am

Hi protagonist,

You bring up a good point, but I wonder if they don't bring up money because they see it for what it is - a means to an end - and so therefore, some of your examples : not having more children, not visiting Europe, not going to college could be regrets related to not having enough money to do them or the peception of not having the necessary resources.

Soon, if this thread persists, we'll start veering off into Philosopy or Religion ( i.e. the meaning of life and why regrets) LOL

Peace, BFG
How many retired people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he takes all day.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by Ivygirl » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:56 am

I have lots of things I would like to say but I am afraid they are all more or less off-topic. So just to address the OP's original question: a really nice recliner I can sit in and read in comfort. I have put off buying one too long. I should remember that sometimes "I" am the greater good that ought to be preferred!

Edited to add: I bought the chair. Leather. Very nice. And they gave me $200 off the price for an itty bitty scratch I could barely see. My cat could do better with one paw tied behind her back!
Last edited by Ivygirl on Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:30 pm

Barefootgirl wrote:Hi protagonist,

You bring up a good point, but I wonder if they don't bring up money because they see it for what it is - a means to an end - and so therefore, some of your examples : not having more children, not visiting Europe, not going to college could be regrets related to not having enough money to do them or the peception of not having the necessary resources.

Soon, if this thread persists, we'll start veering off into Philosopy or Religion ( i.e. the meaning of life and why regrets) LOL

Peace, BFG
Veering off into philosophy or religion gets me into trouble here. You should know that by now, knowing me as long as you have.

I can't say for sure, but I don't recall any of the regrets of the dying being money-related, though I can see it perhaps regarding financial choices (eg perhaps regret over buying a fancy car instead of spending the money to visit Europe). I don't recall anybody speaking of regretting not making more money, or not spending money on specific consumer goods (bigger houses, nicer cars, etc).

My personal experience with consumer goods is that they may make you happier for a brief period of time, following which you just raise your threshold for what makes you happy. When I relied on buses and public transportation in college, I was tickled to buy my first klunker. When I replaced klunkers with my first new car after med school I was tickled to have a new car and haven't bought a klunker since. But I wouldn't say that I am any happier, per se, than I was when I was hitchhiking and taking buses. If I blew $100K+ on, say, a Tesla-S or equivalent, it would probably make me happy for a month or two, after which I would probably revert to my same level of happiness that I now have driving my Element and that I had when I was in college hitchhiking. The down side is it makes it harder to go backwards. Similarly with living in a third story walk up on a bus line in college with roommates, for example.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by midareff » Wed Apr 16, 2014 3:44 pm

Very tough question to answer for me. In my background my parents retired at 62 and we moved to Florida. While still in NY dad listened on radio to the daily market results. I was an investor in training before I could sit at the dinner table.

Having said that retirement was in my sights early on, as were projections. Frills did not happen until the years savings goals were on track. I have no remorse for any of the things I may have passed on to be happily retired now free of income concerns. My regret is not putting the full AMG order option on my latest car, last year.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by midareff » Wed Apr 16, 2014 3:45 pm

Very tough question to answer for me. In my background my parents retired at 62 and we moved to Florida. While still in NY dad listened on radio to the daily market results. I was an investor in training before I could sit at the dinner table.

Having said that retirement was in my sights early on, as were projections. Frills did not happen until the years savings goals were on track. I have no remorse for any of the things I may have passed on to be happily retired now free of income concerns. My regret is not putting the full AMG order option on my latest car, last year.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by opus360 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:17 am

I wish I bought that black Allen Edmonds shoes in addition to the burgundy one I bought when I was in college. Burgundy color was on sale at 50% off while the black one wasn't. Since then, I have bought several other black dress shoes, but all of them wear out. Now, 20 years later, I still wear the burgundy Allen Edmonds.

Edit: Not mine regrets, but my wife's. Wife bought a cheap car with no safety features...no ABS, no side airbags, etc. She would have spend a few thousand more to get those features. Now, that we have a family, we had to replace her car much sooner than we like due to safety concerns.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by HomerJ » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:20 am

protagonist wrote:Poker's post above made me think of something.

As a physician, I have heard countless stories of life's regrets from people in their dying moments.

They are all over the map. Not spending more time with loved ones. Not having more children. Not learning to play the piano. Not marrying the girl of their dreams. Never seeing Europe. Not going to college. You name it.

Except I never recall anybody regretting not making more money.

This does not directly speak to the OP's question, but I find it interesting.
Well, maybe the reason they never saw Europe is because they didn't have enough money... Maybe they didn't spend more time with loved ones because they had to work full-time until they were 70, and couldn't take many vacations to see the grandkids.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by HomerJ » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:23 am

My wife's high-school friend died of cancer last year at age 52...

We went out and bought a lake condo and a boat NOW instead of waiting until we retired so that we wouldn't have to risk that regret.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by jackpullo997 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 8:17 pm

protagonist wrote:Except I never recall anybody regretting not making more money.
That may be due to not knowing what they missed out on.
Maybe they would have completed all their undone items if they had more money.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by protagonist » Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:48 pm

jackpullo997 wrote:
protagonist wrote:Except I never recall anybody regretting not making more money.
That may be due to not knowing what they missed out on.
Maybe they would have completed all their undone items if they had more money.
Interesting how many people seem to think this, or some variant.

My gut feeling in dealing with dying people is that in their last moments, money is the farthest thing from their mind compared with other things about life that, in retrospect, seem so much more precious to them. I could be wrong, but that is my impression based on my personal experiences.

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by clevername » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:05 pm

I really regret not going inside the Colossium in Rome because I was too cheap to pay the 15 euros to get in. I was 20 doing the whole shoestring backpacking thing but still. :oops:

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Re: Frugality regret: What thing do you regret not spending

Post by HomerJ » Fri Apr 18, 2014 12:16 am

clevername wrote:I really regret not going inside the Colossium in Rome because I was too cheap to pay the 15 euros to get in. I was 20 doing the whole shoestring backpacking thing but still. :oops:
Meh, you didn't miss much...

I love Italy by the way... Only spent a few days there, and I want to go back when I retire and spend a month there... I'll have a regret if I don't get to do that.

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