Wanting to spend money all of a sudden

[VictoriaF]

I think we can all agree that the healthiest way to pursue recreational activities is to develop several activity interests over time and then spend money selectively to pursue those interests...

We can agree on this {smile},

Victoria

[hicabob]

Go buy a house that makes people say "I wonder who lives there?" when they drive by. It's the ulitmate ego booster.

Or they might say, I wonder what tasteless person owns that McMansion that's a blight on the neighborhood.

I can assure you such a house is hardly a "blight on the neighborhood." It's a testament to the power of the American economy and one's hard work and intelligence....and just a little bit of luck mixed in.

Just go easy on the Italian statuary in the front yard.

[hsv_climber]

Spend it on your kids - each year you can gift them up to $28K per couple, tax free.
Open a UTMA or set-up a trust. Do you have a 529 plan for each of them?

You've been on this forum long enough to know the obvious: a person who has kids does not ask on a public forum how to spend the money.
Somehow the spending issue takes care by itself.

[Christine_NM]

Southwest Stacker -

My first thought was to spend a bit on antidepressants. But that's not a real solution either.

You won't be working 80 hours a week forever. You are replacing your human capital with investment capital. Someday your human capital will be zero, and that will be just fine as long as you have saved enough.

I think it's hard to see that zero day at your age, and the overlap between having both kinds of capital makes your wealth seem excessive. I'm almost twice your age and the zero day is way behind me. But life is good because I have the investment capital to make it so.

[Barefootgirl]

Perhaps I am an outlier.

I happen to view McMansions as a blight, perhaps of a different type.

BFG

[JupiterJones]

First of all, I couldn't agree more with the suggestion that the best thing to "purchase" is foregoing some of that income in order to spend more time with your family.

But if you're not willing to do that, and you want something that A) is more about "experience" than "stuff", B) costs a lot of money, and C) will maybe even be of benefit in your line of work, then might I suggest the following...

http://www.aopa.org/letsgoflying/

http://www.faa.gov/pilots/become/

[southwest_stacker]

I just want to know how you have retirement fully funded, but yet can't cut back on work??

The two don't jive. Either you have a lot of money which buys you financial freedom or you don't. Which one is it??

Like I was saying work is complicated. 95% of my business comes from 5 companies. I have been working for these same companies for many years. In lots of years things are not that busy and I want all the work I can get from them. I need to keep the business rolling, the employees busy, etc. Recently however they have just had a lot of work for us and it is hard to keep up. I can't really turn the work away or they will find someone else to do it which doesn't really hurt us now but will in the the long run when things do slow down and we need their business. It is hard to explain but my business is pretty much an all or nothing type deal I either do it or I don't.

I don't consider myself rich and I am not ready to retire today but we are saving 6 figures a year towards retirement. So my retirement is not fully funded as in I never need to add another penny, but it gets fully funded each year.

[playtothebeat]

Two best days in the life of a boat owner: day he buys it, and day he sells it.

If you can't (or don't want to) travel, there are plenty of ways to spend your money. Remodel your house, buy some artwork (lik.com - love his stuff), send your wife on a vacation with her friends, throw some parties for your friends, etc.

Consider yourself lucky, though. Sounds like you're in great financial shape and are simply "paying your dues" so to say by working long hours today to be able to cut back in the future or retire early. Not a bad sacrifice, but I agree with others who said you gotta make sure not to miss on family time.

[southwest_stacker]

I just had the time to really sit down and read through all the posts here in detail and let them sink in.

Lots of wisdom spoken here and I it may be some sort of depression I don't know.

This may sound dumb but about 8 years ago I was making 40k a year. I was even working two jobs to get this done. I was young and not really worried about retirement, investments, etc and it seemed the only barrier to anything I wanted to do was money. What made me happy was saving up for and buying whatever it was that I was interested in at the moment. This could be things like a new computer, gun, other hobbies, etc. While I was not saving a lot I was not careless either. In fact looking back even further since I started working at age 16 I think it has always brought me joy to find something I want, save up for it and buy it. Not to some kind of extreme I am not a shopaholic or anything but it was like having mini goals or something.

Now that I make more money I can buy pretty much whatever I want (within reason) without having to really save up or plan for it and it does not seem like I get the enjoyment from things like I used to. Not that life should revolove around buyig things but I often wonder if I was happier back then than I am now.

[tyrion]

I just want to know how you have retirement fully funded, but yet can't cut back on work??

The two don't jive. Either you have a lot of money which buys you financial freedom or you don't. Which one is it??

Like I was saying work is complicated. 95% of my business comes from 5 companies. I have been working for these same companies for many years. In lots of years things are not that busy and I want all the work I can get from them. I need to keep the business rolling, the employees busy, etc. Recently however they have just had a lot of work for us and it is hard to keep up. I can't really turn the work away or they will find someone else to do it which doesn't really hurt us now but will in the the long run when things do slow down and we need their business. It is hard to explain but my business is pretty much an all or nothing type deal I either do it or I don't.

I don't consider myself rich and I am not ready to retire today but we are saving 6 figures a year towards retirement. So my retirement is not fully funded as in I never need to add another penny, but it gets fully funded each year.

I would start thinking about succession planning. Maybe identify one of your existing employees who can start to take on more responsibility, or bring in someone new with the same goal. Eventually you will want to wind down your hours and enjoy the fruits of your labors, right? It sounds like you are a conscientious business owner who cares about the employees so you will likely not close the business and go cold turkey, right? So might as well start thinking about how you can reduce the dependence on you but still keep things rolling.

[reggiesimpson]

Save a lot more and buy a lot less. That way sooner than later it wont matter that a few companies have you by the cojones. You will be free. Think about it.

[Mudpuppy]

I just want to know how you have retirement fully funded, but yet can't cut back on work??

The two don't jive. Either you have a lot of money which buys you financial freedom or you don't. Which one is it??

Like I was saying work is complicated. 95% of my business comes from 5 companies. I have been working for these same companies for many years. In lots of years things are not that busy and I want all the work I can get from them. I need to keep the business rolling, the employees busy, etc. Recently however they have just had a lot of work for us and it is hard to keep up. I can't really turn the work away or they will find someone else to do it which doesn't really hurt us now but will in the the long run when things do slow down and we need their business. It is hard to explain but my business is pretty much an all or nothing type deal I either do it or I don't.

I don't consider myself rich and I am not ready to retire today but we are saving 6 figures a year towards retirement. So my retirement is not fully funded as in I never need to add another penny, but it gets fully funded each year.

The highlighted phrase stands out at me. Very rarely are things actually all or nothing, although we often perceive them as such. If your business is this cyclic, you need to come up with a better strategy to manage the busy times other than just agreeing to too much work solely on the fear of not having enough work in the future. How exactly you accomplish this is hard to say without knowing the nature of your work. If you do not have a mentor in your field, perhaps someone respected who is now retired, it might be a good idea to find one and ask how he/she managed the cyclic nature of the work without getting overwhelmed.

Because it does sound like you're getting overwhelmed and overworked, solely on the fear of losing future income. And I think until that nut is cracked, you won't really find much pleasure in spending money. It doesn't sound like it's the spending you miss from your youth.

[Barefootgirl]

Not that life should revolove around buyig things but I often wonder if I was happier back then than I am now.

Ah! now we are getting somewhere.

It happens to many of us....we diligently climb the mountain, imagining how wonderful it will be once we reach the top - then we get there, look around and ask ourselves "ok, is this all there is?" "is this what it's all about?"

The answer is different for each one of us. Of course, you and I don't know each other - but from the sounds of it - this is classic... a wholly expected life stage....lots of insightful stuff written on this by non-quacks, not just your Barnes and Nobles self help Dr. Phil types.

Seize the moment.

BFG

[Random Poster]

Sometimes I feel like I am going to keep doing this and be a 50 yr old man with millions in the bank, my youth gone, and nothing to show for it.

Except that you would, in fact, have something to show for it. Namely, the millions in the bank.

Perhaps what you want is something else to show for your work?

[Leemiller]

I just had the time to really sit down and read through all the posts here in detail and let them sink in.

Lots of wisdom spoken here and I it may be some sort of depression I don't know.

This may sound dumb but about 8 years ago I was making 40k a year. I was even working two jobs to get this done. I was young and not really worried about retirement, investments, etc and it seemed the only barrier to anything I wanted to do was money. What made me happy was saving up for and buying whatever it was that I was interested in at the moment. This could be things like a new computer, gun, other hobbies, etc. While I was not saving a lot I was not careless either. In fact looking back even further since I started working at age 16 I think it has always brought me joy to find something I want, save up for it and buy it. Not to some kind of extreme I am not a shopaholic or anything but it was like having mini goals or something.

Now that I make more money I can buy pretty much whatever I want (within reason) without having to really save up or plan for it and it does not seem like I get the enjoyment from things like I used to. Not that life should revolove around buyig things but I often wonder if I was happier back then than I am now.

I can relate to this. I used to get excited about a "splurge" and now that I can buy a lot more without budgeting I don't get the same high or enjoyment out of it. I think in your case you need to figure out how to manage so that you can buy yourself some time, even if that means hiring someone at a high pay level who can take some of the burden off of you.

[PacNorWest]

You tend to buy big fun things - that have one common thread.
They require your time.

You need an expensive fun thing that you can do in your backyard anytime that you're ready.
Try this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvyJpuuwcas (Electric hover thing) Not cheap.

[Blue]

I have recently confronted some of the same thoughts and fears you describe, being in a reasonably similar situation.

Two of the best decisions I've made in the past year

- hired a personal trainer to come to the house once/twice a week to train my wife and I together. Good workout, good couples time. Better for our marriage and better for our health.

- two family trips in now with adventures by Disney - amazing destinations and amazing family memories. Work will get by better than you anticipate while you are gone for the week seeing the world and spending time with the family.

Life moves pretty fast - start living the life you want.

[BGJ]

Find a hobby or activity you really like, the list is almost endless. If you have excess money and a current lack of enthusiasm for things try and develop some passions/hobbies. Travel (this can be all consuming and from reasonable to very expensive, go for it if you have the money), collecting art, music lessons and fine instruments especially a great piano and/or some exquisite guitars, audiophile pursuits and superb sound systems, theater and concerts including travel to NY and London, fine wine, vintage cars, antique collecting, book and manuscript collecting, etc. I must admit I also find it difficult to spend money, but my music and instrument passions and wife and two girls generally take up all the slack in the budget.

[nedsaid]

I think all that is happening is that you want to reward yourself.

[MP173]

Couple of points:
1. I do not own my business, but am a commission salesman and understand what you are saying about taking care of customers or they walk. There are times I am just swamped and want to scream, but take a deep breath and work on the next account, often at 9pm or 5am. When it is slow, you want every one of those accounts...and the $$$ you have stockpiled during the salad days.

2. Time passes quickly. My youngest son just graduated and in 27 days he reports to a military academy for school. He really wont be home very much after that, assuming he sticks with it and our days in current mode are numbered. I will really miss having him, his friends, and the energy in our home.

So, there you have it...as Pink Floyd discussed in "Dark Side of the Moon"...Time and Money.

You decide what works for you.

Ed

[Meg77]

I think it has always brought me joy to find something I want, save up for it and buy it. Not to some kind of extreme I am not a shopaholic or anything but it was like having mini goals or something.

Now that I make more money I can buy pretty much whatever I want (within reason) without having to really save up or plan for it and it does not seem like I get the enjoyment from things like I used to. Not that life should revolove around buyig things but I often wonder if I was happier back then than I am now.

This makes total sense to me, and I struggled with the same thing once I was making enough money to reach all my mini goals. I used to always have something else to strive for with my financial goals, so when my salary went up or I got a bonus I could check one more thing off the list. As my income went up I increased retirement contributions till I was maxing them out; I bought my own home, then some rental properties; I increased charitable giving. I also upgraded my lifestyle until I was dressing as well and eating out as much as any human being can reasonably justify. At that point I struggled to find meaning in the daily slog of work, knowing there was not really any "next step" to show my progress but work another few decades until I can reasonably afford to retire.

I think it's very common whenever you reach "the top" in whatever field you are striving for (fitness, career, education, retirement) to feel a sense of loss because there are no more rungs to climb, no more achievements to chronolog. The game is essentially over. Sure it's great that you won, but now what to do with all that energy and dedication you used to spend reaching the goal? It's a philosophical question, not a practical one. You're essentially looking for meaning in life. Buying stuff won't scratch the itch anymore. The only choice is to look inside, meditate/pray for awareness, reconnect with your family. Sure you can get in shape, travel the world, give to charity, and that's all fine and dandy. But it will only bury this pesky little truth you've stumbled upon: that none of it really matters as much as we wish it did.

[Barefootgirl]

Bravo, Meg

BFG

[RenoJay]

For me it would be travel and experiences. I've done things like bungy jumping, skydiving, zero-gravity flight, etc and those memories stick in mind much more than the stupid sports car I once bought and then ditched six months later.

[PaddyMac]

Being self-employed, we used to go thru this feast and famine scenario on a regular basis. I understand that saying "no" sometimes means that the client finds someone else - and maybe that someone else turns out to be faster, cheaper, better, etc. Then they don't come back to you next time. So when we were busy, we worked like crazy and put some cash aside for the slow times. The problem was that we didn't enjoy the slow times as we were worried that the phone would never ring again!

In the end we kind of burned out on the cycles, not to mention the clients. We turned to creating royalty-based income instead, moved to the mountains, and now work on our own schedule and are making more money than ever - and it's consistent. Not sure if that's something that could work for you, but maybe putting clients on a retainer so that you have steady cash flow might help, as well as training someone as an assistant that can do more of your work. But I would start by working 6 days a week, and spending one day with the family. Then after a while, switch to two days off.

One thing I learned the hard way is that if you let clients know that you are working weekends, they give you stuff on Friday with a Monday deadline! So I had to say "that's fine, I can start that on Monday morning" and try to train them that I took weekends off too. I had to live by the motto that "clients will treat you the way you let them treat you" and stand firm sometimes. Sometimes I even said no... Nobody died, as far as I recall...

[thebogledude]

buy stocks. you can write off the losses.

[letsgobobby]

Pop off a few more kids, that ought to take care of any excess money.

Seriously, we hit a few milestones ourselves the last few years and we a. Bought a bigger house my wife liked; b. bought a new Prius my wife liked; c. Started going out to eat a little more; d. increased our charitable giving and involvement in some charities; e. funded 529s for our niece and nephew; and f. are planning on a two week cruise in a suite at the holidays in 2014 for our ten year anniversary.

We still don't buy toys per se, as they don't give us a lot of pleasure. We buy nicer things we use and we buy experiences and we buy things for other people.

[ResearchMed]

Lots of good advice here - Thanks.
....
Travel may be an option. I travel a lot for work. Maybe 150+ days a year on the road including some international. When I am not working I like to be at home not traveling more. I think my wife would like to travel places but I have been so many places I really enjoy just being home. The other issue is we have small children and the wife will not leave them anywhere so it is hard for us to just get away.

I guess it is just crazy to me where my life is right now. I love my family, I enjoy my work, I am making more money than I ever dreamed I would and I just feel like something is missing like I never do anything for myself....

You love your family... you are already "on the road" almost half the time and really enjoy being home... but you think your wife would like to travel but she won't leave the children...

Okay... do you have a babysitter? Do you have a babysitter who is ultra-responsible (yup, will cost more), and someone who is NOT constrained by school schedules... a "nanny" type person?

Have a nice talk with your wife, at a nice restaurant or at home with a nice bottle of wine - that's one way to start enjoying time together.

Plan to find someone special to help with the children, someone who can travel with you.
Have the person get to know your children, and both you and your wife, perhaps by having her/him spend some time caring for the children when you are home, too.

Then... find a way to travel so that you feel "at home".
Don't plan to drive around, staying at a different hotel/motel each night.

A few possibilities:
- Find a hotel in a location you both want to explore, and rent at least connecting rooms, one for you and your wife, one for the children and nanny, or splurge for a suite, which will be more like a "home" than "a couple of hotel rooms";
- Take a cruise, and get a couple of staterooms, or a suite, as above. This is especially nice, because it's sort of like "the hotel follows you around", as you wake up each morning in a new location to explore or relax (*you* aren't the one traveling each day);
- For the ultimate "home" experience, rent a luxurious vacation home (not a tiny condo or small, spartan cabin). There are some where you do the cooking yourself, all the way to those that come with a chef for all meals, or perhaps one where a chef or housekeeper can be requested "as needed".

Discuss with your wife what type of accommodations you and she would enjoy and where. Lots of activities (hiking, horseback riding, or...)? Lots of relaxing together (beach or lake)?

Or see what your wife suggests during or after a discussion about this type of "family time together".

The important thing is that you both find something - location, activities - that you LOOK FORWARD TO, something that makes you HAPPY just thinking about it.

And then... try to enjoy it, the times with the children, and some times without them.

I hope you can find something that works.
Or maybe something totally different will come out of the discussions.

RM