linguini wrote:Swamproot wrote:I bought my wife's as a surprise. I think that is the way it should be. In that way it is a metaphor for her husband. She is going to have the husband she gets, not the husband that she wishes for, and happy marriages happen when both partners realize that going in.
If she cares about big rocks and he buys her a little one, that is indicative of issues that may remain throughout a marriage, long after the honeymoon. I imagine fewer women would be upset with a rock bigger than what they wanted, but it could happen.
I don't think I buy this. Happy marriages happen when both partners are willing to adapt to each other's wishes and manage each other's expectations through frank and open communication. Happy marriages don't happen when a woman believes she is married to a man who is "not the husband that she wishes for". If what you mean is that a happy marriage depends on both partners embracing and supporting each other in spite of their respective flaws, I would agree with that, but if you mean...
No, that's is exactly what I meant. Almost every divorced couple I know is divorced because one party in the marriage acted exactly how they acted before they got married and there was some expectation on the other party that marriage would change that somehow.
And while I know many people who made it work (including my own parents), I wouldn't let anybody get married that's under 25.