How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

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OnFire
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by OnFire » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:21 am

I was in your boat ten years ago. I tried all kinds of stuff. Singles event club through my church. The Young Irish Fellowship Club. Volunteering at soup kitchens. Co-Ed sport clubs in my city. Blind dates. I once even dated a girl I called as a wrong number. By FAR the most success I had was through on-line dating. I probably quadrupled the number of dates I was going on. You can screen out (or in) all kinds of stuff. Want to date six foot tall Jewish girls with blue eyes and six figure incomes? It's all just a few clicks of the mouse away. I dated like crazy on Match.com. A WNBA player. A pediatrician. Ms. Indiana. A lawyer, a judge, a school teacher, a waitress, a sales agent, and a few free spirits in between. Probably dozens more. I was on there for five years. Back then you mailed in your picture. Digital cameras barely existed. A membership was $99 a year. I think it's about $30 a month now.

Finally found the one, or rather she found me. She sent me a message, and I told her I was busy (which was true, I was dating two other girls). When things slowed down, she wrote me again, and we went to a movie in the park. We just hit off. Luckily for me, she was a beautiful, brilliant, dentist who grew up not to far from me. She was pretty lousy with finances, but over the years we have gotten better. I started a 401k and a Roth IRA for her. Six years, two sons, and two houses later, Mrs.Fire and I could hardly be happier.

I have solved the first date coupon problem. You go to dinner. Before your meal comes, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Either find your waiter or the front desk person. Out of sight, hand them the coupon and ask them to please apply it to your bill when it comes. BOOM! You got to use the coupon and no social stigma. It also helps to tell them you will "appreciate" their discretion and to tip accordingly.

P.S. Ms. Indiana was great. Good education, job, nice person, and of course, gorgeous. Our relationship ended quickly when she told me she volunteered at an abortion clinic and I told her I was a conservative Irish Catholic. Not all-beauty queens' beauty is skin deep. Just too different politically.
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Grasshopper
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Grasshopper » Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:36 am

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
Grasshopper wrote:Our anniversary is this week, a good time for Ms G is a drive to Mexico, for eyeglasses, a good margarita and cheese enchiladas.
:shock: Very romantic, Mr. Grasshopper. Will you be picking up your prescriptions as well?
No, we use Wally Worlds $4 meds, whoops excuse me, Ms G's Optometrist wrote her a script in Mexico for allergy drops for her eyes. We filled it at the Pharmacia in Palomas. :beer

We were married on Valentine's Day, that way we can combine cards and gifts.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:42 am

When did optometrist's get permission to write scrips? I thought that was the doman of medical doctors (opthamologists).
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dbr
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by dbr » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:50 am

When "Europe on $5.00 A Day" was on the best seller list, my wife to be was doing Europe on $3 a day.

protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:50 am

Fallible wrote:
protagonist wrote:...

A friend "set me up" with Miss Cameroon 2002 in Paris a couple of years ago. We went to my favorite club, Aux Trois Mailletz, in the Left Bank. I asked her if she wanted some wine, so she ordered a 200 plus euro bottle of champagne. Moral of the story....avoid blind dates with beauty queens. (Or maybe I am generalizing from a sample size of one. Apologies to any Boglehead beauty queens reading this).
Apologies accepted. :P

So what are you doing Saturday night, Fallible?? (chimerical smile...)

protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:59 am

OnFire wrote:I was in your boat ten years ago. I tried all kinds of stuff. Singles event club through my church. The Young Irish Fellowship Club. Volunteering at soup kitchens. Co-Ed sport clubs in my city. Blind dates. I once even dated a girl I called as a wrong number. By FAR the most success I had was through on-line dating. I probably quadrupled the number of dates I was going on. You can screen out (or in) all kinds of stuff. Want to date six foot tall Jewish girls with blue eyes and six figure incomes? It's all just a few clicks of the mouse away. I dated like crazy on Match.com. A WNBA player. A pediatrician. Ms. Indiana. A lawyer, a judge, a school teacher, a waitress, a sales agent, and a few free spirits in between. Probably dozens more. I was on there for five years. Back then you mailed in your picture. Digital cameras barely existed. A membership was $99 a year. I think it's about $30 a month now.

Finally found the one, or rather she found me. She sent me a message, and I told her I was busy (which was true, I was dating two other girls). When things slowed down, she wrote me again, and we went to a movie in the park. We just hit off. Luckily for me, she was a beautiful, brilliant, dentist who grew up not to far from me. She was pretty lousy with finances, but over the years we have gotten better. I started a 401k and a Roth IRA for her. Six years, two sons, and two houses later, Mrs.Fire and I could hardly be happier.

I have solved the first date coupon problem. You go to dinner. Before your meal comes, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Either find your waiter or the front desk person. Out of sight, hand them the coupon and ask them to please apply it to your bill when it comes. BOOM! You got to use the coupon and no social stigma. It also helps to tell them you will "appreciate" their discretion and to tip accordingly.

P.S. Ms. Indiana was great. Good education, job, nice person, and of course, gorgeous. Our relationship ended quickly when she told me she volunteered at an abortion clinic and I told her I was a conservative Irish Catholic. Not all-beauty queens' beauty is skin deep. Just too different politically.
I think a better solution to the "first date coupon problem" is don't make your first meeting a date, which carries with it a lot of social pressure on both sides, as reflected in the "first date coupon problem". Just meet over a cup of coffee or some such thing. A half hour of conversation over coffee or beer is usually all it takes for both parties to realize whether they want to pursue things further, and you can get a pretty good idea as to who you are dealing with regarding money and entitlement issues, simply by noting how he/she handles the moment the bill arrives.

mptfan
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by mptfan » Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:00 am

protagonist wrote: I think a better solution to the "first date coupon problem" is don't make your first meeting a date, which carries with it a lot of social pressure on both sides, as reflected in the "first date coupon problem". Just meet over a cup of coffee or some such thing. A half hour of conversation over coffee or beer is usually all it takes for both parties to realize whether they want to pursue things further, and you can get a pretty good idea as to who you are dealing with regarding money and entitlement issues, simply by noting how he/she handles the moment the bill arrives.
What if you have a coupon for a free cup of coffee? ;)

protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:02 am

mptfan wrote: What if you have a coupon for a free cup of coffee? ;)
Good point. You mean like one of those punch cards...drink ten and get one free? Save it for next time. Even if the meeting goes hopelessly awry, at least you get two punches out of it.

mptfan
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by mptfan » Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:04 am

So, by that same logic, would you also advise in a dinner situation to save the dinner coupon for next time?

protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:13 am

Nah, all kidding aside....in love and all those mooey variations thereof, as in the stock market and just about everything else chaotic in the world (which means jus about everything), one of the few near-absolutes is the relationship between risk and reward. Just be honest with your partners and yourself and find somebody who makes your heart go twitterpat. It's all about being happy, not about dinner coupons. Like the bard said, "All the world's a stage"...be thou the joyful player and it will all sort itself out.

It's worth an occasional 200 euro bottle of champagne to have a good story to tell down the road. Thus, confirming the risk/reward relationship.

Belated Happy Valentines Day, everybody.

Grasshopper
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Grasshopper » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:23 pm

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:When did optometrist's get permission to write scrips? I thought that was the doman of medical doctors (opthamologists).
This is Mexico, you can buy lots of drugs over the counter, but the optometrist wrote a script.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Fallible » Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:01 pm

protagonist wrote:
Fallible wrote:
protagonist wrote:...

A friend "set me up" with Miss Cameroon 2002 in Paris a couple of years ago. We went to my favorite club, Aux Trois Mailletz, in the Left Bank. I asked her if she wanted some wine, so she ordered a 200 plus euro bottle of champagne. Moral of the story....avoid blind dates with beauty queens. (Or maybe I am generalizing from a sample size of one. Apologies to any Boglehead beauty queens reading this).
Apologies accepted. :P
So what are you doing Saturday night, Fallible?? (chimerical smile...)
Windsurfing in NYC. :P
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protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:11 pm

Fallible wrote:
protagonist wrote:
Fallible wrote:
protagonist wrote:...

A friend "set me up" with Miss Cameroon 2002 in Paris a couple of years ago. We went to my favorite club, Aux Trois Mailletz, in the Left Bank. I asked her if she wanted some wine, so she ordered a 200 plus euro bottle of champagne. Moral of the story....avoid blind dates with beauty queens. (Or maybe I am generalizing from a sample size of one. Apologies to any Boglehead beauty queens reading this).
Apologies accepted. :P
So what are you doing Saturday night, Fallible?? (chimerical smile...)
Windsurfing in NYC. :P
If you're serious, I want to marry you. East River? Harlem River? Hudson River? That little duck pond in Central Park with the remote control sailboats?

protagonist
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by protagonist » Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:17 pm

mptfan wrote:So, by that same logic, would you also advise in a dinner situation to save the dinner coupon for next time?
I'm twice divorced and you are asking me for advice on women???? I'm happy to give you my opinion, mpt, but it's a bit like turning to Money Magazine to find the next hot stock, no?

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LadyGeek
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by LadyGeek » Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:55 pm

Please stay on topic- How to find a Boglehead; not proposals for follow-up...

protagonist - As requested, I removed your duplicate post.
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by BillyG » Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:44 pm

Look in the obituaries for Mr. Boglehead's passing, and after waiting the appropriate amount of time, contact Mrs. Boglehead.

It might allow you to skip having to be frugal and save and invest...

More seriously, as an alternative to just letting it happen you could get to know yourself and then create a list of the ideal characteristics you would like in a mate. Some of them would be must-have characteristics such as ethics, energy, and smarts, others could be desirable but not necessary characteristics. Then go looking for that person and don't wast time with those who don't match your desires. It sounds logical but I don't know if anyone is that methodical in searching for a match.

Billy

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Boglemama » Sat Feb 16, 2013 8:06 am

I am a Bogelhead and hubby is not, but he allows me to handle the finances as he'd rather focus on other things. We met at work when I was doing an internship. Work, hobbies, etc are great places to meet people with similar values.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by kamo » Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:22 am

With great luck and emotion, which is not how I manage our portfolio. Recommend you don't confuse the two either. My wife makes my life fuller, my portfolio makes my, now our, life more secure. She doesn't give a hoot about investing but she does understand personal finance - LBYM, etc.
He who knows he has enough is rich. Lao-Tzu

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Bfwolf » Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:16 am

LadyGeek wrote:Please stay on topic- How to find a Boglehead; not proposals for follow-up...

protagonist - As requested, I removed your duplicate post.
Oh come on, LadyGeek, I wanted to see how this ended! Better than reality TV.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Slapshot » Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:39 pm

I was drunk in a dating bar in Boston walking through the crowd trying to lose an annoying girl. I bumped into another girl who apparently was trying to get rid of some guy who was hitting on her and she started talking with me. We talked for quite a while until closing time. As she left with her friends, she gave me her phone number. When she asked if I was going to write it down, I cavalierly said that I didn't need to ... I'd remember it if I wanted to. Then I repeated the number to myself about a hundred times. The next night I called her,and she was shocked that I remembered the number. However, I didn't remember her first name, just her last. I was 22 and she was 19, in the bar with a fake ID.

At the time we met, I was working as a furniture mover, so she didn't have any illusions that I had any money (which I didn't). I was between graduating from an Ivy League school and starting a teaching career, driving a 10 year old Chevy full of dents. Our first date was to a free concert at the Hatch Shell. Our 2nd date was to Newport to the beach, again a free outing. When she jumped into the water with me and proceeded to join in body surfing, I knew I had a winner. She thought it was great that we didn't have to spend any money to have a good time. Turned out that she was as broke as I was.

Now it's 44 years later, and we still have fun without spending much. We've become financially very well off by living within our means and investing wisely. Sometimes you just luck out.
This time, like all times, is the best of times if we but know what to do with it.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by rec7 » Sun Feb 17, 2013 12:41 pm

Petrocelli wrote:
VictoriaF wrote:
travellight wrote:I had suggested (strongly) to a colleague at work that he should take out his first dates to a nice restaurant that he has a 50% discount coupon for. Whip out the coupon when he pays the check and anyone who responds negatively is automatically out.
Frankly, I would rather go to a restaurant with Petrocelli without a shirt than with some of you, guys. The hair on his back seems classy in comparison.
With or without my watch?
Petrocelli you might hold off on wearing that 5k watch until after the marriage. If she sees that she might think you are not a Boglehead.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by VictoriaF » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:02 pm

rec7 wrote:
Petrocelli wrote:With or without my watch?
Petrocelli you might hold off on wearing that 5k watch until after the marriage. If she sees that she might think you are not a Boglehead.
Petrocelli's wife has accepted him with his watch. She would not be as lenient if he had any further matrimonial plans :-).

Victoria
Last edited by VictoriaF on Sun Feb 17, 2013 2:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by midareff » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:23 pm

porcupine wrote:
midareff wrote:[...]Afetr some back and forth trips and many hundreds of calls, September 18, 2010, we married in BKK in a Buddhist Cultural Ceremony and last December 10, we married legally in the USA.[...]
I would assume that Buddhist Cultural Ceremony marriages would be legal in the USA as well! What they asked us (different country, different religion) for was 'registration of marriage' paperwork.

- Porcupine
Not legal in the USA. No paperwork involved, just the blessings of the monks performing the ceremony in the meeting room, and 33 more monks providing blessings we visited upstairs. We have filed for a change of status from F1 Fiance to Temporary Green Card and are waiting now.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by midareff » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:29 pm

Bfwolf wrote:
LadyGeek wrote:Please stay on topic- How to find a Boglehead; not proposals for follow-up...

protagonist - As requested, I removed your duplicate post.
Oh come on, LadyGeek, I wanted to see how this ended! Better than reality TV.
+1

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by baw703916 » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:42 pm

Boglenaut wrote:
FedGuy wrote:
Mitchell777 wrote:Could be a business opportunity for a Boglematch.com :shock:
Convincing people to pay for the service might be a challenge.
Yeah, and we'd demand a well diversified individual with both US and International exposure. And she/he would have to sit on the couch all day and never ever be "Active". ;)
You could suggest a date at a coffeehouse... :wink:
Most of my posts assume no behavioral errors.

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Taylor Larimore
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Taylor Larimore » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:56 pm

How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?
Fratdude:

I first saw my future wife when she was Theme Girl for the 1949 New Year Orange Bowl football game. I took one look and decided that she was the girl I wanted to marry.

We will have our 62nd Wedding Anniversary next month!

Pat cooked dinner for everyone at the first Boglehead Reunion in March 2000, and has been a Boglehead supporter ever since.

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Professor Emeritus » Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:40 pm

LadyGeek wrote:Looking for flame-thrower...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broad_Exchange_Building

But I think I can win the Cheapest first Date contest. Cost Nothing
I played a small part in the Visit of the Chinese Ping pong Team to the USA in 1972.
I had special tickets for myself and a "guest" to the match and the official diplomatic reception with Tricia Nixon and Henry Kissinger.
The pretty girl (AKA Geek Girl :happy ) who had been rejecting my advances for many months finally broke down and went with me since it was "history"
7 months later she agreed to marry me.

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scubadiver
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by scubadiver » Mon Feb 18, 2013 8:23 am

Met my wife skydiving 10 years ago. We were going through a training program and ended up spending the better part of the day killing time in the hanger due to a weather hold. Went on our first date a couple of weeks later and never looked back. I've since learned not to complain about the weather. You can never tell when that "bad weather day" may in posterity turn out to be a good weather day. :wink:

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by rec7 » Mon Feb 18, 2013 10:25 am

OnFire wrote: P.S. Ms. Indiana was great. Good education, job, nice person, and of course, gorgeous. Our relationship ended quickly when she told me she volunteered at an abortion clinic and I told her I was a conservative Irish Catholic. Not all-beauty queens' beauty is skin deep. Just too different politically.
That would be a no go for me too no matter how good she looked.

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by baw703916 » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:02 pm

VictoriaF wrote:Last time we discussed your college party. The girls who consumed the most free booze were the most frugal.

Victoria
Hi Victoria,

OTOH, someone who takes advantage of free alcohol might also be likely to take advantage of the free lunch provided for attending a seminar detailing the fantastic investment opportunities of market-linked variable annuities. :beer

Brad
Most of my posts assume no behavioral errors.

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VictoriaF
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by VictoriaF » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:11 pm

baw703916 wrote:
VictoriaF wrote:Last time we discussed your college party. The girls who consumed the most free booze were the most frugal.

Victoria
Hi Victoria,

OTOH, someone who takes advantage of free alcohol might also be likely to take advantage of the free lunch provided for attending a seminar detailing the fantastic investment opportunities of market-linked variable annuities. :beer

Brad
Hi Brad,

Great observation. OTTH (on the third hand), someone taking advantage of free alcohol can be taken advantage of in several other ways.

And to belabor my earlier point--that everyone here disagrees with--coupons are not much different from investment seminars. One gets something free (food, discounts, gifts) in exchange for getting something suboptimal, excessive, or unnecessary.

Victoria
Last edited by VictoriaF on Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by porcupine » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:17 pm

Taylor Larimore wrote:
How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?
Fratdude:

I first saw my future wife when she was Theme Girl for the 1949 New Year Orange Bowl football game. I took one look and decided that she was the girl I wanted to marry.

We will have our 62nd Wedding Anniversary next month!

Pat cooked dinner for everyone at the first Boglehead Reunion in March 2000, and has been a Boglehead supporter ever since.

Best wishes.
Taylor
Taylor:

Is the Theme Girl similar to the Homecoming Queen or different?

- Porcupine

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by porcupine » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:21 pm

VictoriaF wrote:
rec7 wrote:
Petrocelli wrote:With or without my watch?
Petrocelli you might hold off on wearing that 5k watch until after the marriage. If she sees that she might think you are not a Boglehead.
Petrocelli's wife has accepted him with his watch. She would not be as lenient if he had any further matrimonial plans :-).

Victoria
She might let you have him if you let her keep the watch ;-)

- Porcupine

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VictoriaF
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by VictoriaF » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:26 pm

porcupine wrote:
VictoriaF wrote:
rec7 wrote:
Petrocelli wrote:With or without my watch?
Petrocelli you might hold off on wearing that 5k watch until after the marriage. If she sees that she might think you are not a Boglehead.
Petrocelli's wife has accepted him with his watch. She would not be as lenient if he had any further matrimonial plans :-).

Victoria
She might let you have him if you let her keep the watch ;-)

- Porcupine
Would she also keep his back hair? ;-)

Victoria
WINNER of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. | Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)

khh
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by khh » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:52 pm

scubadiver wrote:Met my wife skydiving 10 years ago. We were going through a training program and ended up spending the better part of the day killing time in the hanger due to a weather hold. Went on our first date a couple of weeks later and never looked back. I've since learned not to complain about the weather. You can never tell when that "bad weather day" may in posterity turn out to be a good weather day. :wink:
You fell in love:)

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Taylor Larimore
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Taylor Larimore » Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:08 pm

porcupine wrote:
Taylor Larimore wrote:
How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?
Fratdude:

I first saw my future wife when she was Theme Girl for the 1949 New Year Orange Bowl football game. I took one look and decided that she was the girl I wanted to marry.

We will have our 62nd Wedding Anniversary next month!

Pat cooked dinner for everyone at the first Boglehead Reunion in March 2000, and has been a Boglehead supporter ever since.

Best wishes.
Taylor
Taylor:

Is the Theme Girl similar to the Homecoming Queen or different?

- Porcupine
Porcupine:

The Theme Girl was a paid(!) professional model who did all the publicity and shared the half-time game extravaganza and parade with the queen.

Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle

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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by XtremeSki2001 » Tue Feb 19, 2013 9:02 am

Found my wife on Match.com. True story.
A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through

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scubadiver
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by scubadiver » Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:24 pm

khh wrote:
scubadiver wrote:Met my wife skydiving 10 years ago. We were going through a training program and ended up spending the better part of the day killing time in the hanger due to a weather hold. Went on our first date a couple of weeks later and never looked back. I've since learned not to complain about the weather. You can never tell when that "bad weather day" may in posterity turn out to be a good weather day. :wink:
You fell in love:)
:D

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Padlin
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Re: How do you find Mrs. Boglehead?

Post by Padlin » Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:09 pm

Can't help you, I didn't find my wife, she found me. Being a city boy I wanted a country girl, which she is. I got lucky 35 years ago.
Regards | Bob

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